


Timeless

by alexandra_emerson



Series: Timeless Series [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter Friendship, Drama & Romance, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Happy Ending, Married Couple, Memory Loss, Minor Astoria Greengrass/Draco Malfoy, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Mystery, No Smut, Not Epilogue Compliant, POV Draco Malfoy, POV Hermione Granger, Plot Twists, Post-Hogwarts, Post-War, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, Slytherins Being Slytherins, Tearjerker, Time Loop, Time Skips, Time Travel, dramione - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:20:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 50
Words: 315,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27061102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexandra_emerson/pseuds/alexandra_emerson
Summary: Draco breaks a time turner and starts jumping around in time (very similar to the premise of the Time Traveler's Wife). At first when he sees he's married to Hermione in the future, he's horrified and fights against it any way he can. But the love he sees in the future is unlike anything he'd ever imagined for himself. Meanwhile, his future self is coming to the past to charm Hermione. When they both meet up in the same time, it gets fun, because they each know different versions of the other person well, but have limited experiences with the person in their same time. This story also has a ton of side-plots and alternate POVs with Harry, Ron, Ginny, Blaise, Theo, Daphne, Astoria, Lucius, and Narcissa.This story is very complicated and epic, but a fun read, especially if you like the complexity of time paradoxes and plot twists.Romance / Angst / Drama. Post-war, not epilogue compliant, happy ending.
Relationships: Daphne Greengrass/Blaise Zabini, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy, Parvati Patil/Ron Weasley
Series: Timeless Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2010775
Comments: 1222
Kudos: 1055





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating / Trigger Warnings: This story is rated T. It has bad language and brief references to sex and war scenes, but nothing direct or explicit. No trigger warnings apply.
> 
> Background: This story begins two years after the war. Everything in all seven books happened, besides the Epilogue.

**Chapter 1**

_There is a love I reminisce,_

_like a seed_

_I've never sown._

_Of lips that I am yet to kiss,_

_and eyes_

_not met my own._

_Hands that wrap around my wrists,_

_and arms_

_that feel like home._

_I wonder how it is I miss,_

_these things_

_I've never known._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: January 2000 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

The wind was howling outside and began to rattle the window panes. Draco looked up from the desk and watched the grey sky. He guessed it would be snowing by the time he left the Manor.

He hadn't checked the weather in London before he left, since he'd apparated from his flat directly to inside the Manor, but he wondered if it would be snowing there too. He'd planned to visit Diagon Alley to get a few items to restock his potions stores after helping his father, but would skip that errand today, if there was a storm.

He focused back on the objects laid out on the desk before him. The sooner he finished cataloging these, the quicker he could leave.

Draco and his father were still on probation for the role they'd played in the war. In addition to having to notify the Auror office anytime they left England and attending bi-annual check-ins, Draco and Lucius had been tasked with purging Malfoy Manor of all dark artifacts. They'd spent months combing through the house and were finally on the last few items.

They attempted to identify them and ward them before turning them over, but in some instances, the item was so arcane that neither he, nor his father, could figure out what it did. In those cases, they left it alone and called the Aurors to pick it up - aware of how dangerous it was to handle an unknown dark object.

Draco didn't mind the quiet hours with his father, but would still be glad to see the task finally done. Astoria would be happy too. She was constantly complaining that he had to spend most of his weekends away at the Manor. She'd offered to come help a few times, but he'd refused. It was too dangerous, which was why his mother wasn't in here either.

Draco felt for his wand to confirm it was close in case any of the dark objects went off. It was in an inside pocket, so he moved it to an outside pocket that would be more accessible, then went back to one of the reference books he was using to identify the objects. The current one, which looked like a black, over-large sextant, had stumped him for almost an hour.

"Do you have any idea what this is?" Draco eventually asked his father.

Lucius looked up from his book and focused on the unknown object. "Isn't that used for star charting?"

Draco sighed, "No, it just looks like a sextant. It doesn't have any of the right markings though." Draco carefully moved the unknown object to the side and went to grab the next object. He studied it for a moment, then froze when he recognized what it was.

A time turner.

He'd read that all the time turners in Britain had been destroyed following the war, but here one was, clearly missed. He figured that was the point of the Ministry demanding a clean up of all the old pureblood estates. They must know there were plenty of objects left out there that could cause harm.

Draco studied the object, then noted there were different rings for years, months, and days. He spun the hourglass to line up with the ring for years, then slowly started turning it, counting back in his mind and thinking how incredible it would feel to be able to travel back in time.

 _1999_ , he thought. That was an awful year. He'd been extremely depressed and had cut himself off from all his friends. The biggest thing of note that happened in that year was that he worked up the courage to apologize to Harry Potter.

Then, just a few months ago, he'd finally moved into his own flat in London and started dating Astoria. He admitted the year hadn't been an entire waste, though he would never choose to go back and relive it.

He spun the hourglass another turn.

 _1998_. The year Harry Potter nearly lost, then, unbelievably, defeated the Dark Lord. Then Draco and his parents stood trial and barely escaped with their freedom.

No thanks, he thought as he turned the hourglass a third time.

 _1997_. He didn't even bother stopping on that year. The year Dumbledore died and the Dark Lord moved into his house, absolutely not. Draco was beginning to rethink his initial fascination with time travel.

 _1996_. That year was shit too. He'd taken his Dark Mark and been terrified all year that the Dark Lord was going to kill his mother.

 _1995_. Draco paused. This year was decent. Before his father went to jail, that is. That bint Umbridge had run the school and although she had been annoying as hell, she had favored the Slytherins.

 _1994_. The year Diggory died, that was depressing. And having to watch Potter excel in the Triwizard tournament - that had not been Draco's best year.

 _1993_. This was the best so far, Draco reasoned, as he began to turn the hourglass a seventh time. There was the incident with the hippogriff, but it wasn't so bad. The Dark Lord was gone, his father wasn't a nervous wreck-

Draco's thoughts cut off as he remembered his father and he looked over to find him watching Draco with a curious expression on his face. When he saw Draco looking at him he asked, with a hint of amusement, "Considering time travel?"

Draco shook his head, but still asked, "Which way is backward?"

His father squinted to get a better look at the object, then started to say, "The other-"

Before he could finish many things happened at once. The wind finally burst through the window and the sextant-type thing and a few other objects fell to the ground. As soon as they hit the wooden floor a large, black hole filled with stars appeared in the room and Draco felt a pressure like all of the air being sucked out of the room.

Every piece of glass in the parlor shattered, including the time turner in Draco's hand. The shards of the time turner seemed to burrow into his palm and he winced at the pain and saw a nasty cut appear there. He dropped the time turner instinctively then flung himself to the ground, narrowly avoiding a large shard of glass that was swirling around the room toward the hole.

He looked over at his father who was also on the ground, grasping behind him for his wand, which was just out of reach. He saw a flash of something against the bookshelf that seemed familiar, but before he could place it, he disappeared.

* * *

_Present Time: March 2006 / Draco's Time: January 2000_

* * *

Draco appeared in a garden outside an unfamiliar house. He guessed from the style of the homes around him he was in London, but he had no way to be sure. Draco looked around and was instantly alarmed by the still, dark sky.

Where had he apparated to? It had been midday the last he remembered, and it wasn't possible to apparate to any locations with a six hour time difference. So maybe he'd passed out, then apparated?

Draco shook his head, unsure what was going on. He strained his ears, but for the faint sounds from the street, it was quiet. He patted his robes for his wand, before pulling it out, but he was unsure which spell to cast.

He noticed then his hand was still bleeding from where the time turner had broken and he quickly healed it with his wand. Then he checked for wards and found a faint outline around the edge of the garden. Okay, so this was a wizard's house.

He cast a quick _Hominem Revelio_ charm to check the house for inhabitants and found that there was one person inside. He let out a sigh of relief. He could likely take on one person. As long as it wasn't anyone incredibly powerful.

Draco made his way to the door of the house, then hesitated outside for a few moments before trying the knob and finding the door unlocked. He slowly turned the knob, opening the door and found himself in a kitchen.

There was something in a pot on the stove that smelled incredible, but the sight confused Draco. This kitchen was mostly Muggle. He didn't know anyone with a kitchen like this. Whose house was this?

He crept further into the house down a long hallway and stopped at the sight of Hermione Granger at the end of the hall standing next to a flight of stairs.

Her face was fuller than he remembered, but then again, he hadn't seen her in years, with the exception of brief glimpses on the street. And then, even when he had last seen her, he'd never taken the time to properly look at her.

She stepped closer to him and her eyes widened, then turned sad and she burst into tears and collapsed on the ground, dropping the empty vase she'd been carrying.

Draco looked around, alarmed, but they were alone. She must have been reacting to seeing him. But this didn't make any sense. He knew she hated him, but shouldn't she be yelling? Not crying.

Draco approached her slowly and used his wand to repair the vase and levitate it onto a side table before crouching down next to her.

"Uh, Granger? What happened?" She kept sobbing and had started shaking her head.

"Do you need something? Or someone?" Draco asked.

Granger finally looked up at Draco and began to wipe her eyes. When Draco looked back at her the tenderness he saw in her gaze drilled down to his core. He stopped breathing, and time stood still as he became lost in her large, brown, and sad, but caring eyes.

Before Draco could place the odd feeling, she flung herself at him. He tried to push her off, but it was futile, so instead he remained completely still and let her hug him as they both knelt on the ground.

He placed his hands on her arms and tried again to push her off, but she tightened her grip so he sighed, then began rubbing his hands comfortingly up and down her arms before he realized what he was doing and pulled them away.

"I love you, Draco," Granger started to say and he felt her breath against his neck. "I know you have no idea what is going on, but I love you, I love you, I love you."

He finally managed to push her back so he could see her face and asked, "What do you know? What is going on?"

"It was worth it," she continued, ignoring Draco's questions. "All the tears, all the fights, the uncertainty. All of it. I'd do it all again."

Draco felt tears sting his eyes as he witnessed this desperate sadness and he looked away from her. His gaze scanned the room again, instead, sure she couldn't possibly be talking to him. But she was saying _his_ name.

"Who are you talking to, Granger?"

She ignored him again. "You asked me once who I love most."

Draco looked back at her confused, but she continued anyway. "All of them. I love you regardless of the time, or your memories, or whatever is going on around us." She placed her palm against his heart then. "I love your soul, Draco. Even now. I know you hate me."

She paused to give him a sad smile. "And maybe you think this is a bit repulsive."

Draco thought to himself that that was the last thing he was feeling, though he remained still.

"But I still love you, and I promise I'll never stop."

The look in Granger's eye was intense now and Draco thought he'd crumble under the weight of it. He crawled back out of her reach and stood up. "You're not making any sense, Granger. I don't know what you're trying to do here, but I don't want any part of it."

He took his wand out of his robes and started to turn on the spot. She seemed to realize, belatedly, that he meant to leave. "No, don't go, I-"

Draco disapparated back to his flat, but as soon as he appeared in the main room, he knew it was wrong. None of the furniture was his, but it seemed familiar. Before he could place it, Blaise walked into the room.

"Draco?" When Blaise saw him his eyes widened and turned sad, which had been Granger's exact reaction and he wondered if Blaise was going to start crying and babbling too, but he remained still.

"What are you doing in my flat, Blaise?"

Before he could answer, Draco heard a woman's voice call indistinctly from the bedroom. Draco rolled his eyes and turned again, not wanting to talk to this odd Blaise or his slag.

He apparated to his bedroom in Malfoy Manor and was relieved to find it empty.

He walked around and noticed the fire was recently used and the room was warm. It was also clean. When he'd visited his room last, it had been covered with a layer of dust. Had he been expected?

Draco eyed the door, but decided to stay in the room, not wanting to know what he'd find outside. He climbed into the bed and watched the second hand go by on the clock. An hour later, he disappeared again.

* * *

_Present Time: January 2000 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

The next place Draco appeared in was a bed. It was daytime again and he could see a cloudy grey sky out of the window to his right. He sighed and sat up, leaning against the headboard. He was in the Manor, but not in his bedroom. He was in one of the countless spare bedrooms.

Draco checked his robes for his wand and it was still tucked in the pocket where he'd stowed it after arriving back in his bedroom. The door flew open and his mother rushed in and he felt her cold hands on his face, then she was casting diagnostic spells on him.

"Mother? What happened?"

"There was an accident," she muttered as she checked the diagnostic readings being projected from her wand.

Draco thought back to the black hole in the parlor. So _that_ had certainly been real. He saw his father in the doorway then, but his expression was clouded by shadow. "Father?"

His father moved closer to the bed and Draco was surprised to find his expression blank, like he was using Occlumency. Draco cast his mind back to the explosion - or, implosion? Glass had been swirling around the room, and his father had been reaching for his wand.

He studied his father then, but he seemed fine, so he'd gotten out okay. Had he disappeared to? He guessed if he did, he probably hadn't ended up with Hermione Granger clutching him and telling him she loved him.

"You're, uh, okay?" Draco asked his father tentatively.

His father responded with a curt nod. "You pushed me out of the way. I'm fine."

"I don't remember that…" Draco trailed off.

"It's fine. You're fine now," his mother said, finally standing up now that it seemed Draco wasn't injured.

His father took her spot on the bed and was staring at Draco intently, scanning his body with his eyes. Draco looked back at him questioningly, but his expression was still blank. Once his father was finished with his inspection, he stood and left the room without an explanation for his odd behavior.

* * *

Draco stayed at the Manor that night instead of returning to his flat, but was not able to sleep. After tossing and turning in bed for hours, he rose to go back to the parlor where the black hole had appeared.

On his way there he saw the light on in his father's study and stepped inside, but the room was empty. The pensieve was out on the desk and Draco wondered what his father had been using it for.

He remembered something from the war then. His father had once said of Bellatrix, who he'd always hated, "Her delusions are so real to her, they'd probably show up in a pensieve."

Draco had questioned him further, since he hadn't realized hallucinations wouldn't work in a pensieve.

"Yes," his father had said, "It works for memories only. Not dreams or hallucinations. Though there is a theory that if the person believes the false memory to be fact, it may still appear there. That hasn't been proven."

Draco took a deep breath and walked to the edge of the pensieve. He could use this to check whether his memory of Granger and Blaise had been real, or just a hallucination, maybe, after he'd been knocked out in the parlor. He certainly didn't believe it enough for it to appear as a memory if it wasn't one.

Draco pulled his wand out of the pocket of his robe but paused. He didn't know what to do. He'd seen this done many times, but had never done it himself. He looked around the desk, then back on the shelf where the pensieve usually sat. That's when he saw the small volume he was looking for; _Remembering How to Remember._

Draco flipped through the book until he found the spell he was looking for, then practiced it a few times before going back to the pensieve.

He lifted his wand to his head then thought of the memory of Granger as he touched the wand to his temple and whispered the required incantation. When he lifted his wand away a silver string appeared and he lowered it into the pensieve. Granger's face appeared there and Draco's heart dropped.

_Shit, does this mean it's a real memory?_

Draco raised his wand again and took another memory out of his head and put it in the pensieve. He'd look at this one first. He took a deep breath and touched his hand to the liquid, then was transported to the parlor.

He watched himself with the time turner and counted the turns. Just over six. He asked his father which way was backward and his father had been responding that it was the opposite way Draco was turning it, when the time turner shattered in his hand.

Draco leaned in and watched the sand from the time turner mix with his blood. He winced, remembering the pain, but when he looked down at his hand now, it was fine.

He looked over at his father, then saw him reaching for his wand. He saw something else he hadn't noticed at the time. Three large shards of glass were flying right toward his father, but his father hadn't noticed. He was just focused on getting to his wand.

Draco shouted out, forgetting for a moment that his father couldn't hear, but then the memory ended. He was in the garden now and he watched himself look down at his hand and heal it.

He spoke the incantation to end this memory playback and was thrown back into his father's study. Draco began pacing the room, thinking through what he'd just seen. He'd been turning the time turner forward, just over six turns, when it shattered and burrowed into his hand.

Then he'd appeared in the garden of that house. The only logical explanation was that he'd time traveled. Probably to a future just over six years forward to match with the turns of the hourglass.

But if that were true, then that meant that six years in the future, he was living in a house with a version of Hermione Granger who claimed to love him. That didn't make any sense.

Draco spotted a bottle of whiskey on the opposite shelf and summoned it, then conjured a small glass and poured himself a shot. He drank it down quickly and winced as the alcohol burned his throat.

He took another shot, then waited for the alcohol to work through his system and cause that familiar, tingling feeling before he finally felt ready to face the second memory.

He was back in the garden, then watched himself approach the house and enter the kitchen. Then he walked into the hall where Granger was standing. He looked away from her and scanned the room.

On the side table he saw a copy of the Daily Prophet. The date was covered by a pile of mail, but he saw the front page article clearly. _New Gringotts Branch Now Open_. Draco started and stepped back, then saw memory Draco repairing the vase and crouching down next to Granger.

He knew the goblins were talking about opening a new Gringotts branch, but that project was years off. They still hadn't secured funding.

He turned back to Granger and watched her talk to the memory version of himself. The look on her face was inconceivable. Even if she hadn't been rambling about how much she loved him, he would have known it from how she was looking at him now.

_So in the future, Hermione Granger loves me? I'm sure Astoria will get a kick out of that..._

When Draco returned to the study, he took another shot of whiskey, then watched both memories again. He left the study, then went to the parlor and started when he saw his father inside, sitting on one of the chairs, lost in thought.

The room was empty and the glass in the windows and bookshelves had been restored. Draco sighed, unsure what he'd been expecting to see. He wondered what had happened to the dark objects.

Lucius nodded at Draco when he finally noticed him, motioning for him to take the seat next to him. Draco sat in the chair and looked back at his father.

"You remember nothing?"

Draco shook his head. "I was holding a time turner. Do you know what happened to it?"

Lucius studied him, then said in a flat voice, "It was destroyed. Everything was destroyed."

* * *

_Present Time: February 2006 / Draco's Time: March 2000_

* * *

Two months passed without any strange disappearances and Draco assumed the odd time jump was a one time thing. He was also convinced that he'd been transported to some type of alternate reality, since there was no logical way he could end up with Hermione Granger. He hadn't seen her in years. How would that even happen?

He was on his way to Flourish and Blotts when he saw a familiar head of brown curly hair approaching the store from the other side of the street. He threw himself against the wall and peered over his shoulder. Granger entered Flourish and Blotts and Draco turned back the other way, deciding to take care of this errand later.

She was the last person he wanted to see right now. Just then, a feeling of vertigo overtook him. His head began to spin and his stomach was queasy. Draco leaned against the wall to keep from falling over. He looked at his arm and cried out in alarm. It was flickering in and out, like someone had cast a bad invisibility charm on him.

Draco looked around, to see if he could spot the spell caster, but he was alone on the street. Draco took a few deep breaths, trying to regain his composure, and then he disappeared.

The next moment, he was in an empty alley in another part of London. It was snowing and he pulled his cloak up, then peered out of the alley and saw he was on a Muggle street. Draco sighed, then returned to the alley to transfigure his outer robe into an overcoat.

He cast a spell to check the date and exhaled heavily as he read the result of the spell. _February 20, 2006._

Draco cast the spell three more times, but the date came back the same. He sighed and leaned his head against the cold stone wall.

He'd time jumped again. That much was obvious. So, this wasn't just a one time thing.

Then Draco's thoughts were drawn back to an odd dream he'd had about a month before. He'd gone to bed late, but when he'd awoken in his flat it was the middle of the day. He'd walked around the flat and noticed a few items out of place, but was exhausted and closed all the shades before returning to bed.

About an hour later he'd been awoken again by a tapping sound on the window. It was his father's owl. He'd removed the letter from the owl's beak and placed it on the table, then returned to bed. When he woke up, it was morning, his flat was back to normal and the letter was gone.

Draco had written it off as an odd dream at the time, but maybe that had been time travel too. Maybe that was why his flat had seemed off. He wished he'd had the presence of mind to use the date checking spell then.

_What the fuck is going on? Is this going to keep happening? And where is my future self? Will I run into him one day?_

Draco walked around in the snow for hours, hesitant to return to his flat, since he remembered Blaise seemed to live there now. And he didn't know how to find that house from earlier, though he wouldn't return there even if he could.

When he felt the feeling of vertigo again, he counted the time and it was almost a minute exactly before he appeared back in a dark road. He looked around and recognized Diagon Alley. He checked the date - _March 7, 2000._

* * *

_Present Time: March 2000 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

Draco walked absently around Diagon Alley for another hour before returning to his flat. When he went to remove his cloak, he was confused to find the clasp missing, then remembered he'd transfigured it into a Muggle overcoat. He turned it back, then dried it since it was still wet from the snow from the other time.

He turned toward his bedroom but his eye was caught by a letter on the table. He approached it warily and recognized the handwriting on the outside instantly.

_Fuck. I wrote this._

Draco's head began to spin and he took a seat on the couch, still eyeing the letter, trying to work up the courage to open it.

As he'd walked the streets of London he'd been trying to figure out what happened to his future self and what would happen if he ran into him. But he'd never considered that his future self was coming back to this time.

Had his future self written that note? Or maybe Draco had written it and forgotten? He dropped his head into his hands.

_Fuck._

Well, there was one way to find out. He stood and grabbed the letter, then tore it open and began reading, as if getting it over with quickly would make it easier somehow.

_Draco,_

_It's me, Draco from the future. When I left I was walking through Muggle London on my way to the grocery store on February 20, 2006._

_As I'm sure you've noticed by now, we are afflicted with a time jumping condition that we cannot control. When the time jumps happen, the two Dracos switch places._

_It was odd. After I visited the bookstore and checked the date, I thought that maybe I should write you a letter, explaining what was going on. Then I remembered receiving a letter from my future self years ago, and figured this was when I wrote it._

_It's a strange feeling, when you begin to act out things you remember from your past, but you'll get used to it._

_The time jumps are random, but typically occur once a month and they last anywhere from three hours to three days._

_You will learn to feel them coming and you'll have about a minute to get out of sight before you disappear. Everything you have on you will travel with you, so always make sure to have your wand and a change of clothes._

_I recommend practicing with clothing transfiguration now, that will be a very useful skill. Also, start keeping track of the dates and length of the time jumps, you'll also want that._

_And finally, be nice to Hermione Granger._

_Good luck. If you can believe it, you'll come to appreciate the time jumping._

_-Draco_

Draco read the letter a few more times, before placing it on the table. He went to his desk, looking for a notebook. He found one he used to track investments and cleared the pages with his wand, opening it to the first page and picking up a quill.

He wrote the details he could remember from his first two time jumps but frowned, wishing again he'd thought to check the future dates. Then he wrote the dates from his jump from today.

_March 7, 2000 to February 20, 2006. Duration: 3 hours. Notes: Walked around the snowy streets of Muggle London._

Draco pushed back from the desk and sighed, before going to read the note one last time. When he reached the line about Granger he frowned. He committed to taking the practical advice from the letter, but would ignore the part about her.

He balled up the note and threw it in the fire, but no matter how much he tried to push it from his mind, the image of Granger's face, staring at him lovingly, wouldn't go away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello! I'm so excited to be back for a new story. This is loosely based on the premise of The Time Traveler's Wife, but will very much be its own story. Also, it won't be as depressing (note the HEA tag…)
> 
> First off, many many thanks to my new beta reader Lancashire Witch! I sent her a giant 140 page outline and she powered through it in just a few days and helped me figure out the best way to tell this complicated, time-jumbled story. And welcome back to Chloe . Ray who helped me with The Manuscript and has agreed to help with this new story too.
> 
> Secondly, please pop on over to Tumblr and look for me (Alexandra-Emerson). I'll post aesthetics and a few behind the scenes drabbles for each chapter. Thanks so much for joining me on this new journey, I think it will be fun!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_I've never met you before, but I recognize this feeling._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: March 2000 / Draco's Time: February 2006_

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

Hermione checked the time before turning back toward the Apparition point next to the Leaky Cauldron.

_Do I have a few minutes to pop in to Flourish and Blotts?_

She chewed her lip, then turned around and headed for the bookstore. If she hurried, she should be back for her next meeting with a few minutes to spare, then she wouldn't have to come back after work.

She rushed to the rarely visited section of the store that contained reference materials on government and legislation and began scanning the titles. The Ministry Archives had a much better selection, but she couldn't bring those books back to her flat.

She picked out two volumes that looked promising, then sighed as she imagined Ron's reaction when he saw them tonight. He hated when she worked from home, but she loved her job and wished she could get Ron to understand that.

 _We've been dating for less than a year_ , she reminded herself. They still had plenty of time to work through these things.

Immediately following the war, Hermione had traveled to Australia to remove the memory charm she'd placed on her parents. They'd been understandably upset to learn about the war, and what she'd done to protect them, so she'd agreed to spend the rest of the summer with them in their new home.

After that, she'd gone to Hogwarts to complete her final year, while Ron and Harry had opted to skip out and go directly into Auror training. Hermione had missed her two best friends, but that last year had given her a chance to get closer with Ginny.

Once she and Ginny had graduated last June, they'd both started dating the wizards they'd been holding out for since the end of the war.

Hermione rented a flat with Ginny near her new job at the Ministry, working in the Magical Law Enforcement office. And Ginny started playing Chaser for the Holyhead Harpies. Officially, Hermione and Ginny lived together in the flat while Ron and Harry lived together at Grimmauld Place.

Though this was mostly a charade for Mrs. Weasley's benefit. Ron spent most of his nights with Hermione while Ginny slept most nights at Harry's place.

Hermione pulled the two books close to her chest and turned toward the check-out desk, but stopped in place when she saw someone rush into the aisle she was in. Her eyes widened in shock when she recognized the person as Draco Malfoy.

He was slightly out of breath and was wearing Muggle clothes, which was surprising. She had never seen Malfoy in Muggle clothes before. But the most surprising thing of all, was that he was smiling back at her. Not smirking; smiling.

Hermione looked back at him warily and when he made no move to leave, she said, "Bugger off, Malfoy."

He acted like he hadn't heard her and continued to smile at her warmly. He was studying her and Hermione couldn't help but stare back at him. When had Malfoy ever looked at her like this? When had Malfoy ever looked at _anyone_ like this?

Something deep inside Hermione jolted as her eyes met his and a familiar feeling she couldn't place washed over her. He began to walk slowly toward her and Hermione felt her legs give out a little and she leaned her back against the shelf for support.

Malfoy looked different, older, though she couldn't quite articulate why. But then again, she reasoned, she had never taken the time to look at him properly before. Maybe this was how he always looked.

As he came closer to her, she noticed a few lines around his eyes and mouth and thought maybe that's what made him look older. He also seemed very tired and she wondered if he suffered from nightmares like she still did. He likely had a lot more material from the war to draw from than Hermione.

"Do you need something?" she asked, eager now for him to go away. She was already running late and didn't have time for one of Malfoy's schemes.

He smirked and finally looked like the prat she was used to. She let out a sigh of relief.

"I just came in to tell you that you look stunning today, Hermione," he said without a hint of sarcasm.

Hermione's jaw dropped and Malfoy's smirk returned. There were so many things wrong with this statement. First off, he'd used her given name. She'd never heard him do that before. And second, he'd complimented her. And on her appearance, of all things.

She looked down and appraised her outfit. She had a nice blouse on with the skirt, but it was nothing special. She looked back up at Malfoy and he was leaning against the shelf with his arms crossed, still smirking at her.

"What is wrong with you?" Hermione started to look around. Maybe this was a joke of some sort; something to amuse his friends. But they appeared to be alone.

He straightened and dropped his arms. "I'm going to make you believe, Hermione."

"In what?" she bit back, annoyed.

"Me." she looked back at him confused, then he added, "That I'm not the completely worthless wizard you currently think I am."

"You're not making any sense." Had Malfoy gone mad? Maybe he'd taken too many curses during the war. She suspected Voldemort had tortured him, so maybe this was a result of some lasting brain damage. But why was it just showing up now? Surely, she'd have heard about it earlier if Malfoy had become a nutter.

"You're right," he shrugged, "just forget this."

"I think I will." Hermione straightened and pulled the books close to her, then marched confidently toward him. But he didn't move out of her way. Instead he moved back to the middle of the aisle and began staring at her again.

"Do you mind?"

He nodded at her, then turned on his heel and left almost as quickly as he'd appeared. Hermione rushed to the till to pay for the books and checked her watch again.

_Shoot, I'm going to be late now._

As she ran back to the Apparition point, then through the halls of the Ministry, she replayed the scene with Malfoy in her head. When she reached the room where her meeting was, she paused just outside, as the name of the feeling she'd experienced when she'd first seen him finally came into her mind: recognition.

* * *

_Present Time: April 2000 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

"Where is Ginny tonight?" Hermione asked Harry as they moved around the dance floor.

It was the night of the annual Ministry Gala and Ron was away on a mission leaving Hermione to attend the event alone. But at the last minute, Harry had asked her to go as his date.

Harry looked away from her and her heart dropped. "Please don't tell me you didn't invite her."

He sighed. "She has practice on Thursdays."

"Harry, you know she would have gotten out of that to come to this. She wants to support you but you keep pushing her-"

"Enough Hermione, you've said all of this to me before." He glared back at her but she kept his gaze. Harry was very good at using his intense, green eyes to intimate people, but that didn't work on Hermione.

She stopped and released her hold on him. "I just want you to be happy, Harry."

He nodded and smiled back at her, but it looked a bit forced. Then he stepped back and went to find a new partner. Probably one who wouldn't insist on giving him unsolicited relationship advice.

Hermione sighed and made her way back to their empty table and watched Harry start dancing with one of the new Aurors in his office. She watched Neville and Hannah, then Luna and her new boyfriend, Rolf, before letting her eyes settle on the table she'd been avoiding looking at all night.

Draco Malfoy was there with many of the Slytherins from her year. Her gaze had already drifted toward him a few times, but he had not looked her way once.

Hermione saw the dark-haired witch next to him rub his leg and she remembered hearing that he was dating some pureblood. Why was he calling Hermione stunning if he had a girlfriend?

Hermione knew the witch from school. She was Daphne's sister a few years below them. Aria? Astera? Something like that.

The witch in question looked right at her then and Hermione blushed, then dropped her gaze. _Well that wasn't obvious,_ she scolded herself then finished the remaining champagne in her glass in one gulp.

When she chanced to look up again, she saw Malfoy watching her with a strange expression on his face, like he was considering whether or not she was real. Hermione glared back at him, then watched him get up and go into the hall where the washrooms were.

Against her better judgement, she followed him and watched him disappear into one of the bathrooms. She leaned against the wall and waited for him to come back out, knowing he'd need to walk past her to get back into the ballroom.

When Malfoy emerged, Hermione pressed herself against the wall, then waited until he was right next to her to speak. "I can't forget."

He jumped, then backed away from her, swearing under his breath. "What?"

"Don't act stupid. I'm obviously referring to our conversation in the bookstore."

"How much have you had to drink, Granger?" She cocked her head, confused, and Malfoy continued in his characteristic drawl, "Is it because Weasley can't provide champagne of this quality on your dates? So, when you finally get the real stuff in your system you-"

"Shut up," she cut in, then stepped closer to him to study his face. He looked different. But that could just be because he wasn't smiling anymore.

"So, it was a joke? When you ran into Flourish and Blotts and called me stunning? Was it a bet you lost with your friends? 'Go tell the Mudblood she's beautiful,'" Hermione spat. "I'm sure it was a great laugh."

She turned away from him to hide her hurt feelings. She was back at those early years in school when everyone had made fun of her for her buck teeth and bushy hair.

"Granger," Malfoy grabbed her arm and turned her to face him, then dropped his hand quickly as he looked intently in her eyes. He appeared to be looking for something. She was about to turn away again when he blurted, "Dance with me."

Hermione narrowed her eyes and was amused to find that even he seemed surprised by this request. She shook her head and pulled her arms around herself protectively. "No. I think you and your friends have had enough of a laugh at my expense."

He rolled his eyes. "That's not why I asked. There's no bet."

"Then why did you ask?"

He shrugged and Hermione got the sense that he wished he hadn't and wanted to take it back. "It's not like you have any other offers," he murmured.

She turned to leave then but he grabbed her arm again. "It was just a joke, Granger. I don't know why I asked, I just want to dance with you for some reason. So, come on." He still had a hand on her and started pulling her toward the dance floor.

She shook him off and he didn't try to touch her again but looked back at her questioningly. She sighed, then cursed her curiosity as she moved to follow him back into the ballroom.

"I guess you're used to getting what you want?" she grumbled.

"Yes, I was very spoiled growing up," Malfoy said as he faced Hermione and placed a hand on her back, then grabbed her free hand with his other one. "I was an only child," he added unnecessarily.

"Yes, everyone knows that. I was an only child too, but I wasn't a spoiled brat."

He nodded back at her, considering. "I didn't know that about you."

"You don't know anything about me."

"True," he responded, like he was just realizing this for the first time, right now.

They stopped talking then and Hermione let him pull her around the dance floor. She couldn't stop thinking how strange it was that Draco Malfoy was touching her. She was running through his possible motives in her mind and kept losing track of the steps.

"Relax, Granger," he said the next time she tripped over his feet. "You wouldn't be so bad at this if you weren't so fucking tense."

"Your language is abhorrent," she felt the need to point out.

He smirked back at her. "And your vocabulary is obnoxious."

By the end of the first song, Hermione _had_ managed to relax a bit and they were finally getting used to each other. Malfoy was still studying her face intently, like he was going to go back to his table and draw it.

Hermione looked over at his table and saw his friends looking back at them confused. _Good, they're not laughing_ , she thought to herself.

When the song changed Malfoy kept dancing so she went along with it. It was actually nice dancing with him. She wasn't surprised he was good at it, he'd probably had formal training for all those pureblood society balls.

When the third song came on though, he finally pulled away. He looked over at his table and sighed. Hermione looked back and saw his girlfriend giving him a stern look.

"I should go back."

"Yeah, before your girlfriend hexes me," Hermione added with a smirk.

Malfoy shook his head but didn't argue before heading back to his spot next to the beautiful witch. She went back to her own table and was quickly joined by Harry.

"Merlin, Hermione, I know I was rude to you for pestering me about Ginny - but you didn't have to go dancing with Malfoy to get back at me."

"That's not what that was," she responded.

"What was it then?" he asked, looking back over at Malfoy now.

Hermione sighed and responded honestly, "I have absolutely no idea."

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

Draco had no idea what had possessed him to ask Granger to dance with him. He'd seen the pain in her big, brown eyes when she'd thought he was making fun of her for being Muggle-born again and he couldn't stop remembering how those same eyes had looked back at him months before (or years ahead?).

All he'd wanted to do was wipe that expression off her face, so he'd said the first thing that came to his mind.

_Dance with me._

He'd wanted to take it back immediately, but then decided to go along with it, hoping that after holding her in his arms he'd find some clarity. Maybe he'd see some hint of how this witch could possibly end up loving him later. But as he moved them around the ballroom, he was more confused than ever.

Her face was cold and she was rigid in his arms. "Relax, Granger," Draco said after the third time she stepped on his foot. "You wouldn't be so bad at this if you weren't so fucking tense."

She finally started to relax and Draco studied her and remembered what future Draco had said in his letter. _Be nice to Hermione Granger._

What specifically, did his future self see in this witch? She was pretty, but not as beautiful as Astoria. And famously smart. It seemed like she could be funny and witty, when she wanted to be. But she was also a bleeding-heart Gryffindor.

Logically, the pairing didn't make sense to Draco. But there was a feeling there that he couldn't quite place. Something about the way she fit in his arms was right. He took a deep breath and looked back at his table to find Astoria watching them.

She didn't look angry, that wasn't her style. She was too kind and polite to ever be properly angry. Her gaze as she watched them was more calculating than anything else.

When the song ended, Draco stepped back and dropped his arms, trying to ignore the subtle feeling of loss as he let her go.

"I should go back."

"Yeah, before your girlfriend hexes me," Granger smirked back at him.

He shook his head and turned back to his table.

"Feeling okay there, mate?" Blaise asked, barely managing to suppress his smirk.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure you don't need a trip to St. Mungo's? Because there is no way you'd ask our favorite Muggle-born, Granger, to dance without some level of brain damage."

Draco shrugged, then lied easily, "She asked me."

"Why would _she_ ask you to dance?" Daphne asked.

Draco shrugged again, "I think she lost a bet."

He turned toward Astoria and saw she was studying him curiously. He leaned into her and whispered in her ear, "Don't be jealous, Stori. You are far and away the most beautiful witch in this ballroom."

He placed a kiss on her cheek, then pulled back and saw her lips turn up slightly. "Come on," Draco stood up and offered her his hand. "It will be nice to have a partner who won't step on my feet."

* * *

**Astoria Greengrass**

Astoria had never been the jealous type, but she couldn't keep her eyes from drifting over to where Draco was dancing with Hermione Granger. He was allowed to dance with other witches, of course, but his choice of partner was absurd.

"What the hell?" Daphne whispered in her ear. "I thought I'd see Potter turn to the Dark Arts before seeing those two dance together. What is Draco thinking?"

Astoria shook her head. If she knew the answer to that question, she wouldn't be so unsure of their relationship all the time. He'd been acting strangely for months. He'd never been very forthcoming with his thoughts or feelings, but since January he'd been more guarded than ever.

They'd been dating for six months and the most personal thing he'd admitted about himself were innocuous memories from his childhood. He never mentioned the war, rarely mentioned school, and absolutely refused to discuss his current feelings toward his parents or his plans for the future.

Astoria assumed she'd marry Draco one day, but couldn't imagine having her husband be so closed off with her.

Draco finally came back to their table and Astoria tried to keep her face blank. She wasn't angry with him for dancing with another witch, even a pretty one. But she couldn't ignore the significance of the partner he'd chosen: Hermione Granger, the famous muggle-born friend of Harry Potter, who Draco used to hate.

There was clearly something deeper going on with Draco and she desperately wished he'd talk to her about it.

Not surprisingly, Draco brushed it off when Blaise teased him about dancing with Granger, then leaned in and whispered in Astoria's ear, trying to sweet talk her into ignoring what had just happened.

She accepted his offer to dance and followed him onto the floor. "Is everything okay, Draco?" she whispered in his ear. He bent to kiss her cheek and nodded with a false smile on his face and she smiled back, trying to hide her annoyance that he was, yet again, refusing to confide in her.

* * *

_Present Time: May 2000 / Draco's Time: August 2004_

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

Several weeks later Hermione was reading as she ate lunch at her favorite Muggle café. She came here whenever she had time enough to take a break at work, loving the anonymity she enjoyed in the Muggle world.

She was still bombarded with requests to stand in photos with strangers or sign chocolate frog cards, and it was even worse when she was out with Harry and Ron. It had died down considerably after that first year, but had picked up again this month and Hermione guessed it was because the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts had just passed, and the war was fresh on everyone's minds.

Even though the war had ended years ago, she was still on her guard anytime she was out in public, and she looked up every time the door opened to ensure there wasn't any danger. She started when she immediately recognized the next person and slunk quickly in her chair, pulling her book up to cover her face.

A few moments later, she heard a familiar drawl from across the table. "You may have managed to hide your face behind that book but you'll need a bigger one to hide your hair." Hermione peered around her book as Malfoy helped himself to the chair opposite her.

"Very original, Malfoy," she bit back, lowering her book onto the table. "Are you following me?"

"I could accuse you of the same," he said as he leaned back in the chair casually and crossed his arms.

"No, you couldn't. I was sitting here first and have been coming here for years. I've never seen you here before."

He nodded back at her, like he found this interesting.

"Leave me alone, Malfoy."

"Make me," he challenged.

Hermione leaned toward him and said as threateningly as she could manage, "We both know I can."

He shrugged, unaffected by the threat. "Maybe with magic. But of course, you can't use that in here. And anything else you may try - yelling, pushing, kicking, may alarm me and force me into using magic of my own. In self-defense of course. But with the Muggles," Malfoy motioned around the café, "It would be a whole scene."

"Are you threatening to break the Statute of Secrecy just so I'll let you sit here in a Muggle café with me- Hermione Granger?"

"I know who you are," he responded, smirking again.

"Oh good, now that we've established who _I_ am, let's discuss who _you_ are."

Malfoy leaned forward, ignoring her statement, and read the title of the book she'd placed on the table.

"'It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done before,'" he quoted, then laughed when he looked up and saw Hermione's startled expression.

"You've read this?"

Malfoy nodded, then leaned back in his chair. "I'm not surprised you like it. I'm sure the whole martyr thing is right up your alley."

"Why have you read this?"

He shrugged. "It was recommended to me. Really though, there have to be other books out there that don't involve dying for a cause that you can read. If it must be Dickens, what about _Oliver Twist_? That's all about survival at any cost, yeah?"

Hermione's mouth was hanging open as Malfoy talked and she quickly closed it when he looked back up at her and started laughing again. What had happened to him? He'd read not one, but two Muggle books, perhaps more, based on the way he was talking. And he was here, wearing Muggle clothes and sitting next to her comfortably, in a Muggle café.

"No comment?" he asked, still looking pleased with himself. "You always struck me as the type of person who would enjoy discussing books."

She scowled, then tried to remember what he'd said about _A Tale of Two Cities_. Right, his comment about martyrs. She sighed and crossed her arms, "You claim to take issue with martys, but I didn't see you complaining when Harry died for all of us in the final battle."

She continued to glower at him but started when he smiled back at her and said simply, "Touché, Hermione."

They continued to discuss the book while she finished her lunch. Then she noticed that he hadn't ordered anything.

"Are you going to eat?"

Malfoy shook his head, then stood up to leave, "I should go."

Hermione nodded. She was finished with her lunch anyway and needed to get back to work. She followed him outside and they both faced each other awkwardly as she considered the proper way to say goodbye to someone who wasn't really a friend, but not quite an enemy anymore either.

She settled with a handshake and held her hand out to him. Malfoy looked at it curiously and she almost pulled it back before he eventually took it, then turned it over and bent to kiss the top of her hand.

He winked at her, then dropped her hand and disappeared down the street, leaving her standing there in stunned silence.

* * *

_Present Time: August 2004 / Draco's Time: May 2000_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

Draco was in his flat studying star charts the next time the feeling of vertigo came over him. He picked his wand up off the table and held it tight in his hand, then took a few deep breaths, wondering where he'd end up next.

The room Draco appeared in was dark and it took his eyes a few moments to adjust to the lower light. He was laying on a bed with his arms wrapped around a witch. He'd had dreams about witches during sex, but not after; this was a change. But he reminded himself that he wasn't asleep.

He could tell by the feel of her back on his arm that she was naked, but he was still wearing the clothes he was in at his flat. He wondered, absently, if the future version of himself was wearing clothes, then remembered the letter urging him to always have a change of clothing on him.

He decided it would be a good idea to shrink a change of clothes into a type of bracelet and sleep with them wrapped around his wrist or ankle. His thoughts were interrupted by the witch's soft voice.

"I know what I signed up for, but sometimes I think it's too hard."

Draco knew the voice. His eyes were still adjusting to the dark, but he could make out her hair in a messy bun.

_Fucking shit, it's Hermione Granger._

Draco tensed and started to pull away. She turned to look at him, then pulled back quickly, lifting the sheet up to cover her body. They both stared at each other for a few moments.

Draco knew he shouldn't be this surprised to find her here, but he had almost convinced himself that the first time, when she'd told him she loved him, had been a fluke. He hadn't seen her in any of his other jumps, though he reasoned that was because when he appeared in that snowy London street, or alone in his flat, he'd determinedly stayed put, not wanting to know what he'd find out if he saw someone else.

And his future self had mentioned Granger in his letter, but waking up in bed with her made the relationship finally seem real.

"You don't know me, do you?"

Draco looked back at her and sighed, "You're Hermione Granger."

"Wrong," she said bitterly, rising out of bed and securing the sheet tighter around her.

He cocked his head at her, confused. "What?" He knew there was a lot about what was going on that he didn't know, but this woman's identity was one thing he was sure of.

"It's Hermione Granger-Malfoy."

Draco felt his stomach drop and he struggled to keep his face blank. She was studying his reaction, but whatever she saw there she clearly found lacking because she looked back at him extremely upset before she turned and slammed the door to what he guessed was a bathroom behind her.

The last time Draco had seen her they had shared two awkward dances, and now they were married? How the hell had they gotten together? And where was Astoria? And Granger's boyfriend, Weasley? This was seriously fucked up.

He checked that the door to the bathroom was still closed, then started to look around the room. He checked the night stand on his side of the bed first and found it filled with Muggle books, which didn't seem like something he'd own, and countless investment notebooks, which did seem like his.

He turned away and checked the dresser. The clothes inside seemed like his, though there were a number of Muggle pieces, many more than he currently owned. Draco's eyes stopped on the three photos on the top of the dresser. One was undeniably Granger's.

It was a photo of her, Potter, and Weasley back at Hogwarts. The next photo was Draco's and he hadn't seen it in ages. He thought it was currently in his bedroom at the Manor now. It was him playing exploding snap in the common room with Blaise, Theo, Greg, and Vincent. Daphne and Pansy were in the background, waving begrudgingly at the camera.

Draco took a deep breath when he saw the third photo, then lifted it to get a better look. It was a photo of him and Granger on their wedding day. She was looking up at him lovingly, seemingly oblivious to the camera, while he looked at the photographer with a look of joy on his face. He didn't think he'd ever made a face like this before.

He studied the background of the photo, wondering why it looked familiar. Granger spoke behind him, responding to his unspoken question. "It's a vineyard in France. It was a favorite holiday spot of your family's when you were young, wasn't it?"

He looked over at her. She was wearing a thin robe now and was frowning at him. "I let you pick the venue and I picked everything else," she continued approaching him slowly.

Draco sighed and placed the picture back on the dresser. "Granger, I have no idea what's going on."

Her eyes were sad and she dropped his gaze and looked over at the picture from their wedding as she answered in a flat voice, "You know what's going on. You're smart. You just can't accept it because you hate me."

She closed her eyes and he saw a few tears fall down her cheeks. "You said it would hurt," she whispered, her eyes still closed. "You warned me before, but-" she sighed, then opened her eyes and looked back at him sadly, "-actually feeling it. It's too much, Draco."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh dear, what a shock for Draco. And I feel for Hermione. It must suck to have your husband look at you like he doesn't know you. Also, I just noticed that in my other post-Hogwarts story (The Manuscript) Draco and Hermione shared a dance very similar to this one in chapter 2. Hmm, I guess that's my thing now.
> 
> I was recently introduced to the lovely poetry of Lang Leav and have decided to include a different poem at the start of every chapter, so I hope you enjoy that.
> 
> Many thanks to my beta readers: Chloe . Ray and Lancashire Witch! You can follow me over on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson to see aesthetics and a few behind the scenes drabbles for each chapter. Thanks so much for reading, please let me know what you think.
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Oct-22.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_If you came to me with a face I have not seen, with a voice I have never heard, I would still know you. Even if centuries separated us, I would still feel you. Somewhere between the sand and the stardust, through every collapse and creation, there is a pulse that echoes of you and I._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: August 2004 / Draco's Time: May 2000_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

Draco was often accused of being cold and detached, though he didn't think that was an entirely fair assessment. He loved his mother and father deeply and would do anything for them. Even agree to brand himself with the mark of a mass-murdering lunatic to keep them safe.

And although Draco didn't display them readily, he did have feelings. And as he watched Granger cry in front of him, for something he had done, he felt decidedly uncomfortable.

He didn't love her, he didn't even like her. Honestly, he didn't know her. She'd always been annoying in school. And although he'd claimed to hate her back then and had even wished her dead, those had only been words.

He'd never felt anything very strongly toward her. He had only focused his taunts toward her as a means to upset Potter. But, after watching her and countless other Muggleborns get tortured in his home, he'd learned how dangerous those empty words from his youth could be.

He'd promised himself he'd never hurt a Muggleborn again, but here one was, crying and hurt by something he'd said.

Draco felt bad for Granger. But short of lying and claiming that he loved her, he didn't know what he could do to make her feel better right now.

He stayed quiet and still, since he was sure anything he said would make this worse, and he hoped he'd be returned to his present soon so her husband could come back and take care of this.

You _are her husband,_ a small voice reminded Draco, but he chose to ignore it, for now.

"This is the first time you're finding out about us?"

Draco nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

"Do you know how much it hurts to see the person you love most in the world look at you like that?"

_Do you know how disorienting it feels to have someone you regard as a complete stranger tell you they love you more than anyone else in the world?_

Draco bit his tongue and looked away from her and spotted a golden snitch on a shelf on the opposite wall. He wondered if it was the first one he'd caught in the match against Ravenclaw in second year.

"I don't know what's worse: having you openly despise me, like now, or watching you pretend, which you'll start to do in a few years." She sighed. "I guess it's all bad."

Granger walked out of the room then and Draco stood in place, unsure if he was meant to follow her. She popped her head back in and said in an annoyed tone, "Come on."

Draco followed her into the hall and she stopped and pointed to a closed door. "You may be here for a few days. You can sleep in there. The kitchen is downstairs if you're hungry. We don't have a house elf, so you'll have to prepare the food yourself." She stopped to sneer at him, but Draco kept his expression blank.

Then Granger lifted her wand and wordlessly summoned a large book from downstairs. "Here," she shoved the book into his arms, "it's our life up until now."

She sighed and turned back to her bedroom, then said over her shoulder before disappearing inside, "When I made it, I always thought I'd go through it with you the first time. But I don't- I don't have the energy tonight."

Draco turned back into the spare bedroom and placed the book on the bed, then checked the date with his wand. _August 3, 2004._

Draco paced the room, looking over at the large book occasionally. Eventually, he opened it cautiously and found that it was filled with photos. He skipped the beginning and stopped when he reached his wedding.

He was surprised to find a photo of him and Potter. The two wizards in the photo were both smiling at the camera as Potter patted Draco's shoulder.

 _This isn't the future,_ he thought, _it's an alternate reality._

This theory was further confirmed by another photo of Theo dancing with Granger. Daphne was there too, hugging Granger and whispering something in her ear in a separate photo. So Daphne was okay with him marrying Granger? What about Astoria?

Draco picked his father out of the background of another picture and wasn't surprised to see him looking murderous as he watched Granger. Well, at least that made sense.

Draco slammed the book shut, then finally climbed into bed. He studied the ceiling and used Occlumency to clear his mind. Then, slowly, he started to let thoughts back in, examining each one thoroughly before moving to the next.

 _I am jumping around in time -_ This he had come to accept as fact. It was inconvenient, but in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't a huge problem right now. He moved on to the next thought.

 _In the future, I will marry Hermione Granger -_ No. Hermione Granger was nice enough, he guessed, but she was not his type and he didn't like her. He didn't want to marry Granger, he wanted to marry Astoria.

Draco was sick of people telling him what to do. He'd had plenty of that in the war. This was _his_ decision and he would not be swayed by future Granger into doing something he didn't want to.

 _I am in charge of my own future -_ Draco didn't know if this was true, but he had to believe it. He would go mad otherwise.

He cleared his mind again, then started listing out every potion he knew until he finally drifted off to sleep.

Draco had a nightmare of that day in the drawing room when Granger was tortured by his aunt. He felt cold hands on his face and shot up in bed, panting heavily. Granger was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking back at him concerned.

It took him several moments to figure out where he was and reconcile the Granger in front of him with the one from his nightmare.

 _You were dreaming about the war, and now you're back in the future. This Granger thinks you're married,_ he reminded himself.

Draco took a deep breath, then closed his eyes and pulled his knees into his chest as he used Occlumency to clear his mind. He wished Granger would go away, but he could still feel the weight on her sitting on the bed.

After a few moments, he finally looked up and met her eyes. She motioned toward the nightstand and he saw a glass of water and a glowing blue potion. He took the water but left the unknown potion alone.

"Your Occlumency works better when you take Brain Elixir," she explained. Draco continued to look at the potion warily.

"When did I figure that out?"

She paused to consider the question, then gave him a small smile, "Now."

Draco thought about this. If he took this potion now, and it worked, he would probably continue to use it from here on out. Then he would later meet Granger and tell her about it, so she could one day tell him - now. Thinking through the complicated time loop was giving him a headache and he winced and saw her cock her head.

"You get used to it," she said in a tired voice.

"You don't seem used to it," Draco pointed out, recalling her words from a few hours before, when she was laying in his arms.

_I know what I signed up for, but sometimes I think it's too hard._

"I said _you_ do," she responded, "not we."

Draco watched her for a few seconds, then finally took the potion, hoping that would make her go away. But she stayed put.

"You can go."

She rose from the bed and settled into the chair at the other end of the room. "It's better when I stay until you fall asleep, otherwise you'll be up again in a few hours."

Draco rolled his eyes. "I sleep by myself all the time, Granger."

She shrugged and summoned a book into the room. "I know. But tonight you don't have to." She smirked at him. "And now that I know you don't want me here; I'm definitely not leaving."

She settled into the chair and started reading her book. She cast a faint, floating flame above the page to read by, then turned off the lamp on the nightstand. Draco glared back at her, then muttered, "Bitch," under his breath.

He couldn't make out her face in the dark, but heard her say, "Wanker."

He smiled, comforted by the familiarity of fighting with her, then he sighed and laid in bed, sure he wouldn't be able to fall asleep with her in there. He turned away from her but could still hear her soft breathing and every few minutes the turning of a page. He tried Occlumency again and found she was right, the Brain Elixir made it much easier for him to clear his mind and keep it that way.

It wasn't long before he drifted back to sleep. When he awoke a few hours later, the room was empty and light was peeking in behind the curtains. Draco stretched, then checked the house for inhabitants with his wand. It was empty, though a few minutes later he discovered the spell didn't work on animals when a large, ugly cat crossed his path.

He locked it into a spare room, then began searching the rest of the house. He found a mix of his items and what he guessed were her items. He definitely lived here, but again, if he didn't want to end up in this future, he didn't have to.

"You are in control of your life and your decisions," he said aloud. The cat responded with a loud meow from behind the door and Draco wasn't sure if it was agreeing with him or protesting. He silenced it anyway, then leaned his head against the couch and sighed heavily.

* * *

_Present Time: June 2000 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

Hermione didn't go back to the café for the rest of the week since work had been too busy. She wondered if she'd have found Malfoy there, then wondered again if that was something she wanted.

She hadn't told any of her friends about her odd encounters with her former childhood bully, sure they'd have her committed to St. Mungo's. Though she reasoned, Malfoy was probably the one who needed to go to the hospital and have his head checked.

But the next month, when her boss announced that everyone in her department would have to sign up for shifts to go around to all the pureblood estates and ensure the new laws were being followed, she signed up immediately for Malfoy Manor.

Hermione was regretting her decision as she stood outside the iron gates, waiting to be admitted. Maybe coming back here hadn't been a great idea. She didn't want to have a panic attack in front of Malfoy, or worse, what if Draco wasn't there and she had to meet alone with Lucius?

She almost turned around but let out a sigh of relief when the younger Malfoy appeared down the path, then berated herself. He'd been nice to her twice and now she was happy to see him?

_Get a grip, Hermione._

As Malfoy came further into focus and she saw his face it was clear that he was not happy to see her. She racked her brain for all of the details from their last conversation but couldn't figure out why he would be angry with her.

He unlocked the gate quickly then turned back toward the house and she rushed to keep up with his long strides. When they reached the foyer he made for the drawing room, then hesitated and led her into a small sitting room instead.

"Is it just you, today?" Hermione asked as soon as they were seated.

Malfoy nodded back at her. "My parents are abroad for the month. I'm sure that's recorded somewhere, since we have to register all travel," he added bitterly. Hermione scoffed.

"Notifying the Ministry of your whereabouts is hardly as bad as an Azkaban sentence," she bit back and he glared at her but stayed silent.

"Why are you here? Our check-in with the Aurors isn't scheduled for another two months."

Hermione regarded him for a few moments, alarmed by the drastic change in his demeanor, before turning back to her notes. But she couldn't let it go that easily. This wizard had kissed her hand the last time he saw her, and now he was back to acting like he despised her.

"Since this is a professional matter, I expect you to behave as such." Malfoy met her gaze, but his expression was blank. "So, no hand kissing. That was repulsive," she added with a sneer.

Malfoy opened his mouth to speak, then closed it quickly and scowled back at her.

"Why do you look like you don't remember?"

He remained silent and she watched his face turn blank again.

"So many witches, you can't keep track? Greengrass is so lucky…"

"Mind your own fucking business, Granger."

Hermione shook her head, half hurt and half angry, then eventually returned to the task at hand. As she went through each law Malfoy kept his responses short and to the point. By the end of the hour Hermione was second guessing her previous interactions with him.

Maybe that had been someone else. Polyjuice perhaps? She committed to asking the nice Malfoy who called her 'Hermione', pointed questions about his identity, if he ever showed up again.

"Are we done here?" Malfoy asked after a long silence. Hermione nodded, then started packing up her bag.

He went straight to the front door but Hermione stopped outside the drawing room, peering warily inside. It looked completely different. She looked down at the spot where she'd been tortured, half expecting to see blood on the floor, but it was gone. Of course it was.

"Granger." Hermione started. She hadn't noticed Malfoy come back. He was standing just feet from her, looking into the room over her shoulder. "That day…" he continued.

But she cut him off, "It's done, and we won." She took a deep breath and walked back toward the front door.

"I don't want to talk about it. Goodbye, Malfoy." She opened the heavy door, then stepped outside. When she looked back Malfoy was leaning against the wall with his face buried in his hand.

This Malfoy was different. She was sure of it. This one was mean, and troubled, and moody, while the one from the cafe was self-assured and sarcastic, yes, but in a teasing way. Hermione had no idea what was going on with him and wondered to herself if even she wanted to know.

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

After Draco returned from the time jump where he'd discovered he was married to Granger, he committed to himself that he would not let this time travel interfere with his ability to make decisions about his own life.

He would not start pursuing Granger just because he found out that he may or may not end up married to her in several years. That was absurd. On the contrary, he committed to staying as far away from her as possible.

Which was why he was extremely annoyed to find her standing outside the gate of Malfoy Manor a few weeks later. When he heard the Ministry was sending a representative he expected an Auror, but here was Hermione Granger. He knew she worked somewhere in the Ministry, but didn't remember what she did.

And not only was she here, she claimed he'd kissed her hand. _Fucking hell._ That was obviously future Draco. Was he seeking her out every time he came to the past? Draco wished he could communicate with this idiotic version of himself, then wondered if he could try leaving a letter.

Draco was rude to Granger for the duration of the visit. He knew it wasn't fair. It was future Draco and Granger he was angry with, not her. But he wanted to lash out at someone, and they weren't here.

Draco was relieved when it was finally time for her to leave. But he lost her in the hall on the way to the door. He turned when he realized she was gone and saw that she'd stopped outside the entryway to the drawing room. The very place she'd been tortured a few years before.

He took a deep breath and walked slowly back to her. She hadn't noticed him since she was focused intently on the room. He saw the look of determination in her eyes and begrudgingly admitted to himself that she deserved a bit of respect for it. Not anyone could come back to a place that held such awful memories and keep it together like she was.

It was the reason Draco hadn't returned to Hogwarts since the final battle. He sighed, then looked toward the spot she was staring at. It was the same place she'd stood as his aunt tortured her.

He moved his eyes a few paces across the room to where he had stood and watched her, wincing and standing offensively still, hoping against hope that someone would come in and save her.

It had never occurred to him at the time to do it himself, and even now, if it happened again, he didn't think he'd be capable of such a heroic act. Maybe to save his mother and father, but not her.

He still felt guilty though, for the part his family had played that day. And he figured that was why this scene still featured regularly in his nightmares, especially lately. Her screams, Potter and Weasley pounding from the dungeons, and that feeling of hollow desperation that overtook Draco as he watched her.

"Granger, that day…" the words poured from his mouth unbidden. She jumped, surprised to find him behind her, then cut him off and he was slightly relieved, since he didn't know what words were coming next.

"It's done, and we won." She took a deep breath and walked back toward the front door. "I don't want to talk about it. Goodbye, Malfoy." She opened the door, then stepped outside.

Draco turned away and buried his face in his hand. What the hell was he going to do? He had previously thought the time jumping was just a minor inconvenience, but now he was seeing that it could easily ruin the life he was trying to set up for himself.

If this future Draco kept courting Granger, would she continue to seek him out in this time? She was going to think he was an absolute nutter, though he really didn't care about that. He was more worried that this other Draco would come back and dump Astoria. Or maybe tell his parents he'd decided to become a blood traitor.

Draco sighed and his mind flashed back to that photo with his father looking angry at his wedding. He didn't want to march into any future where his father looked at his wife like that.

Draco had mostly overcome the blood purity beliefs from his youth, but he wasn't sure how his father and mother felt. They never talked about it. He knew they didn't believe killing and torturing Muggleborns was right, but that didn't mean they'd approve of him marrying one.

He had to end this time jumping. He straightened and walked toward the library, wondering why he hadn't thought to start researching his condition sooner. But when he reached the section on time travel, all the relevant volumes were gone.

Draco stepped back and rubbed his jaw, trying to think who would have taken them. There was really only one other person. His father had been in the room with him, and he'd seen him using the time turner that day. Did he know what was going on? And more importantly, did he know how to reverse it?

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

Hermione was working on a new piece of legislation at her flat later when she felt two strong hands start to massage her shoulders. She smiled and pushed back from the desk, turning her head to kiss Ron. She hadn't even heard him come in.

"I heard you went to Malfoy Manor today. How was that?"

Hermione sighed and closed her eyes as he continued to rub her shoulders, working on a tight knot at the bottom of her neck. "It was fine. But I certainly won't be going back anytime soon."

Ron moved his fingers to her neck. "Why didn't you ask me to go with you?"

She shrugged, then considered how Malfoy would have reacted if she'd shown up with her Auror boyfriend.

 _Why do you care what Malfoy thinks of you?_ It was a fair question that she had no good answer to.

"It wasn't a big deal Ron, really. Thanks though, for the offer. How was work for you?"

"Fine," he muttered, then dropped his hands from her neck and turned her face so she was looking at him.

"Do you want to go out tonight? You can pick the place this time."

Hermione sighed and motioned back toward her desk. "I really should finish this Ron. This is the final draft before it goes to the elders for review and I don't want to miss anything. I have leftovers in the fridge we can eat. Or I can order in if you want something different."

Ron sighed and moved to the couch. He leaned back and propped his legs on the table, then looked back at her and asked, "Do you really see yourself working this hard long-term? What will happen in a few years?"

Hermione was confused by the question. What did he mean? Was he hinting at the fact that she should quit working once she had kids and stay home with them, like his mother had? She narrowed her eyes at him. "I will always work, Ron," she said carefully.

He seemed to notice the change in her tone and waved her off, trying to lighten the mood, "Yes of course, but I'm talking about this job specifically. It's crazy. You don't have time for anything else. Is it really sustainable?"

"What don't I have time for?"

"Me?" Ron shot her a soft smile and she could tell he was a little embarrassed by the admission.

Hermione smiled back at him and scolded herself. She was being too harsh. Ron wasn't hinting at her one day quitting her job to raise his kids, he just wanted her to hang out with him right now.

"I'm sorry Ron, but this is the start of my career. If I put the time in now, when I don't have many other commitments, I'll be able to pull back later."

Ron nodded; he'd heard this argument before. He stood up and walked toward the fridge, then stopped when Crookshanks walked across his path. "Shit. You think I'd be used to you by now. But you still manage to surprise me sometimes."

Ron bent to pick up the large cat, then walked him to the fridge, still talking to him as he looked through the leftovers. "What looks good, Crooks?"

"There's pasta, but I had that for lunch," he looked over at Crookshanks then, "What did you have for lunch?"

"Yeah, cat food? I never would have guessed, mate."

Hermione smiled to herself. Ron had gradually gotten over his initial hatred of Crookshanks, and would sometimes hold entire conversations with the cat, like now. She frowned, wondering if he did this because he was incredibly lonely holed away with just her for company.

Ron was very social and outgoing and Hermione often felt bad that he had to spend so many nights alone with her in this flat. She pushed the thought from her mind. She was just being dramatic; she and Ron were fine.

"I love you," she called toward the kitchen.

"Yeah, yeah," he said over his shoulder, "just not as much as you love your job."

"Ron-"

"I'm kidding Hermione. Are you okay if I eat the rest of the Indian?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

Hermione took a deep breath, then turned back to her work. She should have known better, of course Ron wasn't hinting at their future, they rarely talked about it. But that was odd, right? They should sit down and have a serious conversation about what they both wanted out of life. Why did they keep putting it off?

* * *

_Present Time: July 2000 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

Draco was watching the Harpies play the Tornadoes with Blaise and Theo when he saw Granger again. He'd been scanning the pitch for the snitch when her curly hair appeared in his omnioculars. He'd nearly dropped them, which earned him a confused look from Theo.

Draco shrugged and Theo went back to watching the game and Draco went back to scanning the pitch. But he'd given up on the snitch and was looking back at Granger. She was with Weasley and Potter, of course, but she looked bored with the game.

Before Draco could consider this further, he forced his mind back on the match. This witch was taking up too much space in his head. But he couldn't get back into the game, so he dropped the omnioculars and stretched, then turned back to Theo, who was looking off in the distance with a bored expression.

"Why do you come to these if you're not going to watch the match?" Draco asked.

Theo shrugged, then made an obscene gesture, which Draco returned. Theo had never been into Quidditch, but Draco guessed he joined them for the company. It must be lonely living in that huge house alone.

Theo's father had been one of the Death Eaters in the war who truly enjoyed killing people, so it had been a relief to Theo when he'd died in the final battle. Theo's mother had left shortly after the war to travel abroad, leaving Theo alone as the master of Nott Manor.

Theo had always been quiet growing up but had become more withdrawn following the war. The only person who could get him to come out of the house was Blaise, for some reason.

Draco always felt he should be closer to Theo since, besides Greg and Vincent, who'd both died in the final battle, they'd been the only other Slytherins with Death Eater fathers. But Draco never knew what to say, and he couldn't relate to Theo's intense hatred toward his father.

Draco had been angry with his father for his countless mistakes, but he still loved him. Though he didn't blame Theo for his feelings, Nott senior had been a fucking psychopath and had treated his son like shite.

"How's the cleanup going at Nott Manor?" Draco asked, trying to relieve the tension.

Theo shrugged. "I moved everything to one of the sitting rooms and left it for the Aurors to ward and take away. They send someone every few weeks to work on it, but it's not a big priority."

Draco nodded. That had been how most of the pure blood families responded to the Ministry's decree requiring them to turn over their dark objects.

Lucius has insisted he and Draco do most of the work themselves as a way to garner favor with the Auror office. It hadn't been a bad idea, though neither of them had known it would result in Draco losing himself in time.

He remembered then that he'd meant to ask Theo if he could do research in his library since the time travel books were missing from the Malfoy libraries. He considered coming clean to his father but didn't want to have to explain about Granger.

He wished we could ask Blaise, who was more enjoyable to spend time with, but his ancestral home was in Italy. He and his mother shared a large, modern flat in London with no ancient library.

"I still can't believe you and your father did most of the work for the Aurors," Theo said, cutting into Draco's thoughts.

Draco shrugged. "Just part of my father's elaborate plan to restore the Malfoy reputation."

Theo rolled his eyes. "If I could change my name I would. I think all the Notts should end with me. My mother agrees, she's dating this old bloke in Germany. Probably eager to get her surname changed."

Draco nodded, unsure what to say. Luckily Blaise cut in then.

"My mum is also on the hunt for a new surname. But count yourself lucky, mate. Your mother is dating around abroad while mine is looking for her next husband right under my nose."

"What number is that for her?" Draco asked.

"Nine."

Theo made a disgusted face and Blaise nodded, "I know, it's sick."

"You should talk Blaise," Theo bit back. "How many women have you slept with this year?"

"In the past 12 months, or just in the year 2000?"

"Do you know the count to either of those?" Draco asked.

Blaise smirked, "No, there have been too many to count," he winked.

Draco and Theo rolled their eyes, then Draco's attention was caught by the familiar flickering of his arm followed quickly by the spinning in his head.

"Uh, I need to go, I think I'm going to be sick," he ran from the box into the hall and didn't bother to turn back and check on his friends. He'd make up a more solid excuse for them later. Draco ducked into a dark corner and breathed deeply, wondering where the fuck he'd end up next.

* * *

_Present Time: July 2000 / Draco's Time: April 2005_

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

Hermione was trying to focus on Ginny flying around the Quidditch pitch, but her mind kept drifting off. She was thinking of the pile of legal briefs sitting on her desk at home. She knew it was important to her friends that she come out every so often, but she wished they were doing something interactive.

Harry and Ron were so focused on the game she doubted they even noticed she was here. She went back to her omnioculars and started scanning the stands. When she was younger, she and her father had played a game where they watched strangers and made up stories about what they were talking about.

She did this at Quidditch matches sometimes when she got bored. She spotted Malfoy across the stands and watched him joking with Blaise Zabini and Theo Nott. She couldn't tell from this distance if it was the nice Malfoy or the mean one.

She sighed and dropped her omnioculars, then looked over at Harry and Ron. They weren't paying attention to her. She remembered then that she'd meant to pick up a birthday gift for Harry while she was here, then she excused herself and left the stands for the booths near the exit.

She was meandering along the hall, slowly making her way toward the exit when someone nearly ran into her.

"Pardon me-" the wizard cut off when he saw her and Hermione jumped back. It was Draco Malfoy. The nice one. She could tell instantly by his warm smile.

"Herm- uh, Granger," he said, then gave her a curt nod.

"What spell did Harry use on you in the bathroom in sixth year?" Hermione blurted out.

Malfoy smirked and answered easily, " _Sectumsempra_. A specialty of Snape's I later learned."

She narrowed her eyes. "And what book did we discuss in the café?"

Malfoy hesitated and considered the question before eventually answering correctly, " _A Tale of Two Cities."_

Hermione nodded, but continued to regard him warily.

"You think I'm using Polyjuice?"

Hermione shrugged, slightly embarrassed now. "It's the only explanation for why you're acting so nice."

"If I wanted to be nice to you, why would I disguise myself as someone you used to hate?"

Hermione had to admit, he had a point. She also hadn't missed his phrasing, _used to hate._ Why did he assume she didn't still hate him? Because they'd danced together? Or because of that short conversation in the café?

"I don't know what's going on, but Polyjuice was the only thing I could think of. Maybe an accident with a cheering charm? Though that wouldn't explain your sour mood a few weeks ago…" her voice trailed off.

"What are you doing out here?" Malfoy changed the subject then. "There's a Quidditch match inside."

"I know. I could ask the same of you."

He nodded, but didn't answer. "Have a drink with me."

Hermione stepped back, "Oh, uh, no thank you. I really should get back."

"I doubt they've noticed you left. Come on, I'll make sure to get you back before the game ends."

"There is no way you can know when that will be, they could catch the snitch at any moment."

"Or it could take days," Malfoy argued. "Come on."

"Why?"

He shrugged.

"No, tell me. Why are you being nice?"

He looked back at her and she saw him biting his cheek and he looked like he was searching for the right answer. "I want to make amends. I'm sure Potter told you I apologized to him awhile back. Well now it's your turn. Wait-" he cocked his head at her, "have I apologized to you yet?"

Hermione looked back at him, confused. He looked like he really didn't know the answer to that question. "No."

She remembered Harry mentioning Malfoy's apology last year. He said he'd told Malfoy that he wasn't the only one who he should apologize to, he suggested Malfoy visit Hermione and Ron too. Harry said Malfoy had nodded, then admitted that it had taken him a year to work up the courage to go to Harry, so he'd need at least another year to work up the courage again.

It was one year later. Maybe Hermione was next on his apology tour.

"Well then let me buy you a drink and tell you all the things I'm sorry for," Malfoy continued.

"I thought you said you'd get me back before the end of the game. If you truly went through the whole list, we'd be out all night."

He smiled and nodded approvingly. "So, is that a yes?"

Hermione sighed and shook her head. "No. It's a 'fine.'"

He nodded again and turned toward the exit, "I guess I'll take what I can get. Let's go"

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So the flip/flopping back and forth through time is really kicking off in this chapter and will continue for most of the story. Hopefully it's not too confusing. If you ever get lost, I have the section breaks reminding you of Draco's time and the current time.
> 
> Many thanks to my beta readers: Chloe . Ray and Lancashire Witch! You can follow me over on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson to see aesthetics and a few behind the scenes drabbles for each chapter or ask my questions about the story.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_I cannot undo_

_what I have done;_

_I can't un-sing_

_a song that's sung._

_And the saddest thing_

_about my regret -_

_I can't forgive me,_

_and you can't forget._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: July 2000 / Draco's Time: April 2005_

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

Hermione followed Malfoy out of the Quidditch stadium and to the apparition point. He stopped when he got there and turned back to her. "Do you want to go to a Wizarding bar or a Muggle one?"

"I, uh-" Hermione hesitated. She thought it would be best to go somewhere they wouldn't be recognized, but they were both wearing their wizarding robes.

"We can transfigure our clothes," Malfoy said, guessing her thoughts. "I can assist if you need help with the spell work," he added with a smirk.

Hermione rolled her eyes, then removed her outer robe, shrunk it easily, and stuffed it in her bag. She was wearing jeans and a blouse underneath. Then she looked back at Malfoy and watched him transfigure his outer robe into a light jacket.

He held his arm out for her and she looked at it for a while before finally placing her hand on it. Then, in a second they were in a dark alley in Muggle London. Malfoy led her to a pub she'd never visited before, then motioned for her to get a table as he turned toward the bar.

"What do you want?"

Hermione shrugged, "Whatever you're getting."

"You won't like what I'm getting."

Hermione narrowed her eyes at him. He was so presumptuous. "I'm sure it will be fine."

Malfoy shrugged and returned a few minutes later to the small table she'd picked in a back corner with two glasses of whiskey in his hand. He raised an eyebrow at her as he handed her the drink but she kept her face blank. She despised whiskey but didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that.

He sat across from her and they regarded each other for a few moments, sipping on their drinks. Hermione tried to keep from wincing each time she tasted the whiskey. But he noticed and had a smug look on this face as he watched her. "Why am I here?" she grumbled to herself.

"I know why," Malfoy said flippantly and she glowered at him.

"Okay Malfoy," she bit back, "enlightening me."

"You are plagued by extreme curiosity. I imagine it's the driving force behind most of your actions."

"Since when do you bother yourself with trying to understand the motives behind my actions?"

He waved her off. "We're not here to talk about that" - his tone turned serious and he took a deep breath. He was looking at her intently and his gaze was almost as intense as Harry's. She met it and could see her silhouette reflected back in his deep, grey eyes.

His eyes turned sad and he looked down, then he started in a surprisingly sincere voice, "I don't even know where to start. There are so many ways I've wronged you." He looked nervous, which was at odds with his typical self-assuredness.

He gulped and looked back up at her. And his fierce gaze made her feel naked. She wrapped her arms around herself protectively and regretted stuffing her cloak away in her bag.

"Why do _you_ look nervous?" he asked. Hermione straightened and held her head up, but kept her arms around her and shrugged.

"I know you have no reason to trust me, but I'm not going to hurt you again. Well-" he paused, like he was remembering something, "not on purpose," he added cryptically.

Malfoy took a deep breath, "Okay, first year. Even before I met you, I didn't want you to be admitted to Hogwarts. That wasn't fair. Our entire world would be a lot worse-off without you in it." He paused to give her a small smile and Hermione couldn't help but return it.

"And the teasing about your bushy hair and teeth- I didn't start it, that was Pansy, but I definitely had a hand in keeping it going. But the joke was on us. Who knew you'd turn out to be so beautiful?"

Hermione downed the rest of her drink then, just so she'd have something to do, since she had no idea how to respond to such an unexpected statement. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been rendered completely speechless like this.

"Second year," Malfoy continued, "this one was pretty bad…"

* * *

_Present Time: April 2005 / Draco's Time: July 2000_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

When Draco time jumped from the Quidditch match he appeared back at the house he shared with Granger in the future. He was sitting in the main room on a couch and his hand was resting on her leg.

He looked up and saw her watching him, concerned, and for a moment he got lost in her large, brown eyes. The next moment, when he realized where he was and who he was with, he pulled his hand away from her leg and sneered at her, but her expression remained the same: worried, caring, kind.

"What's the date?" he spat at her, hoping to wipe that expression off her face.

She sighed and leaned back on the couch before answering. "April 17, 2005. And you're from July in the year 2000?"

"How do you know that?"

"You keep track of the dates you jump. So when you get to the future, you know when you're headed to the past. Though you never know exactly what time. I guess you can track that too if you want. It's 3:20pm."

Draco considered this. It was comforting to know the time jumping got easier. It was a pain now, never knowing when he would suddenly disappear. "But I've been to the future before, and it didn't seem like you were expecting me."

Granger nodded. "Occasionally we lose track," her voice turned sad then. "We like to pretend the time jumping doesn't exist sometimes."

Draco scowled at her easy use of the word 'we'. She was talking like she and him were a team with shared thoughts and feelings.

 _Well, you_ are _married._

She was looking back at him with that concerned expression again. "What are you so angry about, Draco?"

"Stop calling me that," he bit back, annoyed.

"What? Your name?"

Draco nodded.

"Ok, _Malfoy._ Though I'm sure you know by now it's my name t-"

"Don't remind me," he cut in, then he dipped his head down into his hands. "This is fucking bullshit."

"Which part?"

Draco looked up from his hands and scowled back at her, "The part where I end up with you."

He saw a flash of hurt in her eyes and felt a little guilty but kept glaring at her anyway. She crossed her arms and fixed him with a stern look. "The last time you came from the past you accompanied me to the Potter's for Easter, then apologized for ruining my honeymoon. I guess I was bound to get a sour Draco this time."

He stood up and started pacing the room. _Potter's for Easter? Honeymoon?!_ This was too much. "So what happens here? I see what a beautiful life we have in the future," he said in a mocking tone, "then I go back to my time and try to get to know you? Fall in love? Get married?"

She glowered back at him but remained silent.

"That is fucking ridiculous. Me," he motioned toward his chest, "and you?" He pointed back at her and twisted his face in disgust. She regarded him for a moment, her expression blank, then she stood and left the room.

Draco followed her into the hall. "I'm talking to you, Granger!"

"It's Granger-Malfoy. And I'm not going to sit there while you insult me, yet again, for things I can't control."

Draco started. Was she referring to her blood status or the time travel? "I wasn't referring to you being a Muggleborn," he felt this was important to point out, even if that hadn't been what she meant.

"Oh, you weren't?" She leaned against the wall and crossed her arms. "Then tell me. What is so preposterous about me ending up with you?" she motioned to herself, then to him, mocking his earlier gesture.

Draco hesitated. He'd said he didn't care about her blood status, but the first reasons that came to his mind were related to it. She wasn't a part of pureblood society, she was a Gryffindor, and his parents would murder him.

"You don't have to tell me, you already have." Hermione pushed past him and went upstairs while Draco considered her words. He hadn't listed out the reasons he couldn't be with her yet, so that must be something he did during a future time jump. That hadn't happened for him yet, but obviously it had already happened for her. This was so fucked up. How could the future version of himself and Granger ever agree to get married when they had completely different memories of each other?

"Granger, wait!" She stopped halfway up the stairs and turned back and glared at him.

"It's not Granger."

"Fine," Draco sighed, "Hermione then." He refused to call her Granger-Malfoy. What a ridiculous name. His parents must have been appalled when they found out she insisted on hyphenating it. He remembered again his father's face from that wedding photo.

"What?"

"I'm not finished talking to you."

She started walking up the stairs again, "I don't care. Leave me alone. I'm sure you know where everything is by now."

He chased after her and reached her bedroom door right when she did, then held the door open so she couldn't close it. "Shouldn't you have to listen to me? I'm your husband." The word felt strange on his tongue.

"Hah! And you think I subscribe to the outdated gender roles setup in pureblood marriages? I know you're arrogant and a prat in this time, but I never pegged you as stupid, Malfoy." She moved to push the door closed, but he kept a firm grip on it, holding it open.

"How are you okay with this? Surely you see this is fucked up."

Granger sighed and he saw a bit of her fire leave her and she looked tired. "We had a big fight about it last year. It was...hard."

Draco thought back to what she said that night he'd appeared in her bed. _I know what I signed up for, but sometimes I think it's too hard._

"But now…" She shrugged. "I don't know. I go back and forth."

"Okay, so you don't like this time travel thing either. So let's fix it. We don't have to end up in this absurd future together."

"You know," she paused to raise a finger to her chin. "That's never occurred to me. We should just fix it!" She sneered back at Draco and he could tell she was being sarcastic.

"This is _my_ life! I refuse to let some time jumping force me into a relationship I don't want to be in!"

"I get it, you hate me, so just - don't be with me. No one is forcing you into anything you don't want." She turned into the room and he saw her start to scan the bookshelf.

"I am! My future self is. He's- he's going back and courting you in my time. Isn't he?"

She shrugged noncommittally, keeping her gaze focused on the bookshelf.

"I have a girlfriend in my time but he's going behind my back and fucking it all up!"

She shrugged again, "I don't know why you're yelling at me; I didn't do this. It's _you_ you're mad at."

Draco leaned against the door frame and watched her finally select a book, then she looked back at him questioningly, as if to ask why he was still there.

"Why don't you try to court me when I come forward?"

Granger regarded him for a few moments, then burst out laughing. After a time, Draco couldn't help but join in, since it was sort of funny. And it felt good to laugh at this fucked up situation, since thinking about it just made his head hurt.

He cut off after a while, but she was still going and was sitting on the bed now for support. Draco shook his head as he watched her. She had a nice laugh.

He threw the thought from his mind and turned back to the hall. He had to get away from this witch. "I'm going to find a way to break this fucking time loop," he called over his shoulder.

She was still laughing, then said between breaths, "Good luck!"

* * *

_Present Time: July 2000 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Astoria Greengrass**

Astoria was laying in Draco's arms while she focused on the rise and fall of his chest. She bent her head to look up at him and could tell by his blank stare that he was deep in thought. She wondered for the thousandth time what was on his mind.

She looked over at the clock on the wall and sighed. She had to head home. She wished she could stay here, but Draco had made it clear early in their relationship that she was not welcome to sleep at his flat. When she'd asked why he'd said vaguely that it wouldn't be proper.

She'd thought that was ironic, since he didn't seem to have a problem with pre-marital sex but hadn't pushed him on it. She never pushed him on anything. Sometimes she wondered if she really was the right match for him. Maybe he needed someone who would challenge him more. Anytime he fixed her with his intense stare she would give up. But she always wondered, if she had the courage to push back more, would he eventually concede and open up to her?

She turned her head so she could see him better and wasn't surprised when he didn't notice her shift in position. Draco was very handsome. In her opinion, he was the most handsome out of all the eligible pureblood bachelors in Britain. But that's not why she'd chosen him.

There was a depth to him that all the other wizards she'd met lacked. He was incredibly layered and intriguing, and Astoria desperately wanted to figure him out. She wanted to be the one he confided in.

She knew he'd started spending time at Nott Manor last week and wondered if he was trying to connect with Theo, since they'd both been involved with the Death Eaters during the war.

She assumed his closed-off nature was a result of the war, but that was just a guess since he never discussed it with her. At first, she'd been put off by his role as a Death Eater but Daphne, who had always been one of Draco's closest friends, said that Draco didn't really believe in the blood supremacy beliefs after his seventh year and was never a willing Death Eater.

He had proven as much when he opened his Head Boy dorm to her and Daphne as soon as it became clear Amycus Carrow was interested in them and had started roaming the Slytherin girl dormitories at night, looking for them. Draco had let them sleep in his bed and spent months sleeping on the couch in the small common room.

Then Daphne told Astoria about some other small acts from that year, like how Draco diverted students to detentions with him, writing lines, instead of handing them over to the Carrows.

"Hey," Astoria said eventually.

Draco looked down at her and smiled. His smiles were rare and breathtaking and even after months of dating, they still made Astoria's heart leap. She raised her hand to his face and traced the line of his jaw with her finger. "You seem troubled."

Draco's smile faded and his face turned blank. "I'm fine."

"You can tell me anything, Draco. I'm here for you. Whatever you need."

He nodded, but she could tell he was already shutting down. "I know Stori, thanks."

Astoria sighed, then extracted herself from his arms and started gathering her clothes from around the room.

Draco sat up in the bed. "You're angry. I'm sorry."

She pulled her skirt on and finished clasping her bra before turning to face him. "I just want to be closer to you than a casual acquaintance you happen to have sex with on occasion."

He shook his head. "You're more to me than that."

Astoria pulled her blouse on, then cocked an eyebrow at him.

He dipped his head and sighed. "I'm sorry, I'll try harder."

"It's not that Draco," she moved to the bed and cupped his face in her hand. "You shouldn't have to try harder. It should feel natural." She bent and placed a kiss on his cheek, then stepped back. "Whenever you're ready, I'm here."

He nodded back at her and she left the room before he tried to charm her with empty words. She checked her image in the mirror and tidied her hair slightly before Floo-ing back to Greengrass Estate.

* * *

_Present Time: August 2000 / Draco's Time: May 2002_

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

Several weeks after the night of the Quidditch match Malfoy showed up at Hermione's café again. She was surprised to see him there, since she'd assumed that after he finished apologizing to her he'd leave her alone.

That night had been intense. Malfoy had worked through his apologies for each year of school, ending with the day she'd been tortured in his drawing room. She'd suspected, at first, he was doing this to get it all off his chest and clear his conscience, then would move on.

When Harry had described Malfoy's apology, he said he'd struggled to get through it and left abruptly once he was done. But he had stayed with Hermione and seemed very interested in her response. He never asked for forgiveness, but it was clear from the way he was staring at her that he wanted it.

But Hermione wasn't ready to offer that yet. She'd quizzed him about his motives behind his actions in the war and was surprised when he stayed to answer her.

When she asked him about his inaction the day she was tortured his response was unexpectedly blunt.

"I was scared. I didn't want to do anything that would make the Dark Lord hurt me or my parents. And-" he stopped to finish off the rest of his drink then looked down at the table. Hermione waited patiently for him to continue. "I'm still not the type of wizard who would swoop in and save just anyone. Even now, I'll never be Harry Potter." He looked guilty as he admitted this.

Hermione considered his words. "So you're saying if it happened again, you wouldn't do anything differently?" She tried to remove any judgement from her tone.

"Would you save me? If everything was reversed? Are you that good, Hermione?"

Hermione thought about it. She saw what he was saying. Would she jump in and risk her life to save someone she barely knew? Just because it was the right thing to do? Was it fair of her to expect that from him? "I honestly don't know. I guess I see your point."

Malfoy continued to look down at the table, then when we finally looked up at her his eyes were sad but determined. "I'd save you, if it happened again."

It was at odds with what he'd just said, but he seemed like he was telling the truth.

Soon after that, he'd run off quickly and she assumed that he'd bared his soul enough for one night. Perhaps enough for the entire year. She wondered if Malfoy would start stalking Ron in another year when he was finally ready for his next apology.

She wasn't surprised he'd saved Ron for last since he was the one least likely to accept an apology from Malfoy graciously.

When she'd explained this night to Ron he'd snorted, then claimed Malfoy was just trying to rebuild his status in society. She'd let it go, knowing it wasn't worth trying to defend Malfoy to Ron. She wasn't even sure she wanted to.

Hermione switched her focus back to Malfoy as he took the seat across from her. He was smiling at her and he looked different than he had before. Less sad. He was regarding her warily, like he wasn't sure what her reaction was going to be.

"Who identified us to Bellatrix when we showed up at the Manor?"

Draco winced, but answered correctly, "My mother."

"And what did I order when we went out for drinks a few weeks ago?"

Draco raised his eyebrows in surprise, then made his face blank again before responding. "I don't remember."

"What book did we talk about the first day you showed up here?"

Draco sighed. "I don't remember that either. It's me, I just have a shit memory sometimes."

Hermione looked back at him confused, "I don't remember that from school."

"It was - uh - an accident from the war," he said vaguely. She wondered again if he'd been hit with the Cruciatus curse one too many times.

"Was there an aging potion accident too?"

Draco looked back at her, surprised. "What?"

"You look different every time I see you. Sometimes older, sometimes younger, like now. It's subtle, but there's definitely something there."

He smirked back at her. "I didn't realize you were studying me so closely Granger. Do you like what you see?"

She rolled her eyes. "No."

He snorted, then leaned in and asked, "I have a question about Muggles."

She leaned in too, grateful for the change in conversation.

"Where do they keep their gold?" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a few pounds and placed them on the table. "I mean, I know they have this stuff, but I assumed that was just a placeholder for the gold they store somewhere else. Do they have vaults like we do? How do they protect them without magic?"

Hermione smiled back at him, not surprised that the thing Draco Malfoy was most interested in learning about the Muggle world was related to money. She explained that most Muggles didn't store piles of gold. The paper was the money and there wasn't a valuable substance, like gold, behind it.

"What? This?" Draco waved a ten pound note in front of her. "But anyone could copy this."

"Not if you don't have magic," she pointed out.

"Well, they could just print more. Right? It's just some ink on colored parchment."

"It goes through a complicated manufacturing process that makes it incredibly difficult to recreate. And actually, I read last year that Muggle money cannot be replicated. Not even with magic."

Draco shook his head. "Paper and ink are not one of the principal exceptions to Gant's law. So you should be able to make it out of nothing easily."

"True," Hermione argued, "but the magical ministries in every country have applied charms to the ink at all the currency printing locations. So that note is laced with a magical substance that blocks the doubling charm. Isn't that fascinating?"

Draco looked back at the note and studied it. "Is that true?"

"Of course."

"Have you tested it?"

"No, I read about it."

"Not everything you read is true, Granger."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm sure this one is. It was a reputable source."

He reached into his jacket and pulled out his wand and placed it on his lap.

"Malfoy!" she hissed at him.

"I'm not going to be seen, relax Granger."

He held the wand under the table and she could tell he was channeling his magic into the hand that was holding the note. A second note appeared in his hand.

He smirked up at her

"That's illegal, Malfoy!"

"You were wrong. Just admit it. You can't believe everything you-" just then the second note disappeared from his hand and he frowned.

"Hah! I wasn't wrong."

"You thought you were, for a brief moment there."

"I didn't." She crossed her arms and smiled at him. He smiled back at her and she thought briefly that he had a good smile. Then she banished the thought from her mind.

_You have a boyfriend Hermione. And his smile is much better than Draco Malfoy's._

* * *

_Present Time: May 2003 / Draco's Time: August 2000_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

Draco appeared in his flat for the next two time jumps. The first time his flat was empty and nothing seemed out of place besides the date (May 2002). He'd stayed inside that time, not wanting to run into anyone else and learn more strange things about his future.

Now, he was in his flat again and he sighed in relief, but jumped when he saw Granger in the doorway of his bedroom.

_What the fuck?_

An orange cat appeared behind her and walked over to Draco and started weaving through his legs. He recognized it as the same one he'd locked in that room in the house months before. He resisted the urge to kick it as he took a few deep breaths.

Seeing Granger in that unknown house in the future was one thing, but having her here, in _his_ home...and the cat, that must mean she lived here and wasn't just visiting. For some reason, their future relationship seemed more real than it had before and that set Draco off.

"Get out," he snarled at her, as menacing as he could.

She frowned, "I'm sure you know by now what's going on. What time are you from?"

Draco ignored the question. "I said, get out. I hate you in my life. You and this other Draco are complete nutters. And get this fucking cat off of me!"

She walked over and picked up the cat, then put him in the bedroom and closed the door. Then she turned toward Draco and crossed her arms. "I'm not leaving. I live here."

Draco walked toward her and withdrew his wand from his robes. She cocked her eyebrow at him and smiled playfully. "Are you going to hex me?"

"Why not? You're trespassing. I'm within my rights."

"Hah! Sure, call the Magical Law Enforcement Office. I'd love to see how that would play out."

Draco responded with a stinging hex that hit the wall just above her shoulder. She looked back at him angrily. "I don't even have my wand!"

"Then get it," he said through gritted teeth, keeping his wand trained on her.

She moved past him but kept from turning her back to him as she picked it up off of the kitchen counter. "Ok, I'm ready," she said but before she finished he cast another stinging hex at her wand hand.

She dodged and threw up a shield charm, then shot him a silent stunner which he also dodged. He shot a jelly legs jinx around her shield charm, but she parried it, then threw a jelly legs jinx back at him which he barely managed to block.

"This is stupid Draco, what are you hoping to-?" he finally landed a stinging hex on her leg and she jumped, "Ow!"

She shot him with a trip jinx which landed and he fell to the ground, but managed to get off a leg-binding curse. She fell to the ground, then hit him with a well-aimed swelling charm.

Draco removed it easily, then finally managed to hit her with a full-body bind, since she was no longer able to jump out of the way. He sauntered toward her and crouched down where she lay rigid on the floor. She was smirking at him, but as he continued to watch her, her eyes turned scared.

That look finally made Draco release the charm, but not before he picked up her wand. "I win, you need to leave now."

"That wasn't our agreement," she argued. "Plus, you're younger," she smiled, "that was hardly a fair match. I haven't dueled in ages. And don't you and your friends still duel for fun sometimes?"

Draco narrowed his eyes. "What do you know about it?"

She rolled her eyes. "I know things about you, Draco. We're dating."

"Since when?"

She shook her head. "We don't tell each other things like that."

"Oh, so there are rules to this fucked up shit?"

Granger winced. "Your language before was foul. I'm glad that got better." He scowled back at her. "In answer to your question, yes, there are rules."

"But not being a bitch isn't one of them?"

"Fuck you!" She yanked her wand out of his hand, then disappeared into his room, shooting one last stinging hex at him before slamming the door behind her. Draco jumped out of the way of the hex easily, since he'd been expecting it, and started pacing the room.

Her mention of his friends had given him an idea. He needed to find out how everyone else was reacting to this relationship. He considered going to Blaise's flat, but didn't want to involve his mother in this.

Who knew what welcome would await him at the Greengrass Estate? He had no idea what had occurred between him and Astoria in this time. So Nott Manor it was, even though Theo was the friend he was least close to.

He Floo-ed there and thought it was a good sign that his flat was still connected to Theo's home. "The fuck, Draco?" Theo was sitting in a chair reading and shot up at the unexpected appearance of someone in his living room.

His face turned concerned then, "Are you okay?"

Draco stepped back, alarmed. Since when did Theo care if he was okay?

"So - uh, we're still friends?" he asked tentatively.

"Yeah...I mean, why? Did I do something?"

Draco shook his head. "And Blaise too? Even Daphne?"

"We had drinks just yesterday, so I would say yes." Theo looked extremely confused, which Draco admitted was fair. He wanted to ask about Granger but didn't think he could randomly ask about her without coming off as even more of a nutter. Luckily, Theo brought it up first.

"Did you and Granger fight?"

Draco nodded, since that was technically true.

"'Bout time you two broke up. Shit - Daphne and I owe Blaise ten galleons."

Draco let out a sigh of relief. Good, this made sense. Of course his friends didn't approve of him dating Granger.

"She is way out of your league," Theo continued, and Draco frowned.

"What?"

He shrugged, "We all talk about it."

"Even Daphne?"

"Probably her most of all. She's a bit obsessed with Granger, but don't tell her I said so. What's wrong? You have a face like a smacked arse."

Draco shook his head, unable to speak. "I need to go."

"Yeah, go apologize to Granger. Because, honestly mate, if you two split up and we're forced to choose between you and her, I'm not sure you'd like our decision."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello friends. So I know Draco is being pretty mean in this chapter, but I'm trying to keep him as realistic as I can. I don't think when initially faced with the truth that he ends up married to Hermione that he would take that very well. So we'll see him struggling a bit at the beginning, but hang in there, he will one day turn into the sweet, future Draco we're getting glimpses of from Hermione's POV.
> 
> Many thanks to my beta readers: Chloe . Ray and Lancashire Witch! You can follow me over on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson to see aesthetics and a few behind the scenes drabbles for each chapter. Thanks so much for reading and please let me know what you think.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

_I don't know how it is you are so familiar to me - or why it feels less like I am getting to know you and more as though I am remembering who you are. How every smile, every whisper brings me closer to the impossible conclusion that I have known you before, I have loved you before- in another time, a different place- some other existence._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: September 2000 / Draco's Time: October 2004_

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

Several weeks passed before Malfoy joined Hermione for lunch again. As soon as he sat down, she asked him how he decided when to come. He responded vaguely, "When I can get away."

 _Away from what?_ Hermione wondered. Or was it more a question of who? She guessed that Lucius didn't know about these meetings.

"I'll be here tomorrow and the next day," he added and she filed the information away but stayed silent. She wasn't planning to be here the next two days since she had meetings close to lunch. But she could move them…

_Are you seriously considering adjusting your work schedule to accommodate lunch with Malfoy?_

Hermione shook her head. She would consider that later. She focused back on Malfoy who was tilting his head to read the title of the book she was holding. She placed it on the table so he could see better. "Have you read this?"

Malfoy grimaced when he read the title. "1984. Yeah, I've read it. 'The power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one's mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them,'" he quoted. "What was the word for that again?"

"Doublethink."

Draco nodded and he looked uncomfortable. "I am intimately familiar with the concept."

Hermione knew this. He'd admitted the night of the Quidditch match that throughout the war he'd struggled with reconciling the beliefs he'd grown up learning and his hatred of the horrors he'd been forced to witness. But she didn't want to bring it all up again.

He'd already apologized and she didn't think it was fair to continuously focus on the mistakes he'd made in the past. She tried to steer the conversation away.

"One of my favorite quotes is: 'Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood.'"

Malfoy cocked an eyebrow at her, "Why is that?"

"It's a good reminder to me. I was, well, when I was younger I had a tendency to be overly idealistic and thought I knew what was best for everyone." She paused, expecting him to tease her or at least look smug, but his expression was blank.

"But to really love someone," she continued, "you need to understand them. You need to find out where they are coming from. Caring for them while pushing your beliefs on them isn't really love."

She looked down then, embarrassed. She realized then how personal of an admission that had been and didn't know what he was going to do with it. It was a test of sorts, she guessed, to see how he'd respond to this vulnerability. He surprised her with his next question.

"What about the people who love you, Hermione? Do they understand you?"

The answer came quickly to her mind. _No._

She'd always felt like an outsider in school. At first, she thought it was because she was a Muggleborn, but it was more than that. Even now, she always suspected she didn't quite belong.

Ron didn't understand her aspirations. Harry and Ginny were too focused on each other. And her parents still didn't approve of her living in the magical world (though she admitted they had good reasons). She was always trying to understand and help others, but who was trying to understand her?

She plastered a smile on her face and lied, "Of course. I'm lucky to have wonderful friends and a loving boyfriend. My parents are safe-" She sighed and turned the conversation back to him.

"You're surprisingly well read when it comes to Muggle literature. And you're very good at remembering quotations. I thought you said you suffered from memory lapses."

He continued to study her and gave her a look that said he wasn't fooled by her sudden change in subject, but thankfully he let it slide. "It comes and goes."

They kept the rest of the conversation light, and when it was time to leave he said confidently, "See you tomorrow." Before she could point out she hadn't agreed to that commitment, he was gone.

On her walk back to the Ministry, Hermione wondered if she and Malfoy were friends. She'd move around her schedule to meet a friend for lunch. But Malfoy...

* * *

Hermione did end up moving her meeting to accommodate lunch with Malfoy the next day. She convinced herself it was because of her annoying need to be polite. He assumed she would be there, and she didn't want to be rude and stand him up.

She could have sent an owl to cancel, but that seemed too formal. And also, she was curious. When she arrived he was already there and she sat next to him and ordered her usual salad. She made sure to keep _1984_ in her bag this time since the conversations it had sparked the day before were too depressing.

They sat in silence for a few moments while they waited for their food and she reconsidered leaving the book in her bag. What else did they have to talk about? They had nothing in common. She couldn't discuss her friends and she didn't know anything about his.

Their families were also off the table, as was school, and any topic related to the war. Without those things, what else was there? But the conversation came easier than she expected.

Malfoy asked her about her job. And for the first time in a long time, she was able to discuss the details of what she was working on without having the other person's eyes glaze over. He asked follow-up questions, and even pointed out a loophole she hadn't caught before.

"Why do you know so much about legislation?"

He shrugged, "It's part of my job to know."

"Do you have a job?"

He grimaced and she laughed, "I didn't mean it like-"

He waved her off. "No, I don't have a formal job. But my father - you know what he does…"

"I actually don't," she admitted. He seemed upset by the mention of his father and she wondered if it was a good idea to keep going down this path, but he continued anyway.

"He aims to be influential in politics and society. It's - there's a word for it in the Muggle world, I need a second to remember it. But he wants a say in the laws that get passed and he works to understand the political landscape so he can push and pull where needed to get what he wants. It's...subtle and surprisingly complicated."

"Lobbyist. Was that the word?" Malfoy nodded and Hermione considered. "But why, to what ends?"

He shrugged. "The same reason anyone does anything. Power. Why do you push your laws?"

"I'm trying to make the world a better place."

"Well, so is he." She scowled and he smiled and shook his head. "Everyone thinks they're right, and they are rarely doing things to make the world worse-off. There are just - differences in opinion."

Hermione rolled her eyes, but figured it was a good idea to steer the conversation away from this particular topic. "But what do you do, daily, to influence legislation?"

"We meet with countless people. Invest in companies and projects that are important to the people we need on our side."

"So bribery?"

Malfoy shrugged and smirked back at her. "You say bribery, I say strategic investments."

"Do you like doing all that?"

"It's okay, I don't mind the thought that goes into all that maneuvering. It's like a large game of chess. But, honestly, I prefer the side-job of managing our investments. Taking the inputs from what we learn and combining that with star charts and Arithmancy to maximize earnings." He stopped to sigh and she saw his expression turn sour. "But that's administrative work not befitting a Malfoy."

Hermione knew those were his father's words. There was definitely something there when he spoke of his father, but she knew better than to press him on it.

When Malfoy left that day he turned to her and asked, "Same time tomorrow?" Hermione nodded without hesitation this time.

* * *

Malfoy was beaming when she sat down on Friday. "Congratulations."

"What?" Then she remembered. She had received an award for her work on a recent piece of centaur legislation and there was a brief mention of it in the Daily Prophet this morning. "You saw that? You must read the Prophet cover to cover."

"I do, it's part of my so-called job to know what's going on in the Wizarding world."

Hermione nodded, unsure if he was mocking her.

"You don't seem very excited about it."

"Honestly, I'm not sure I deserved it," she admitted. "Sometimes - well - I think I get recognized because I'm Hermione Granger, best friend of Harry Potter."

Malfoy nodded seriously. "Did they say why you got it when they gave it to you?"

She explained the law her boss had claimed was revolutionary, though, it hadn't been very difficult and passed through the approval process easily. He asked her a lot of questions about the approval and when she was done, he leaned back and nodded thoughtfully.

"Well, what do you think? Was it deserved?"

"Do you care what I think?"

"No," she answered honestly, "but I'm interested to hear your opinion."

"I think you're right, the law itself is not much. But I think the process for approval is unique and you found a clever way to bypass the normal review steps. That could be applied to other, more impactful laws." Hermione hadn't considered that part of it.

"Remember, it's not always going to be the most clever thing you do that has the most impact," he continued. Then he finally smiled at her. "I think it was deserved, and you should be proud."

Hermione smiled back at him, finally allowing herself to feel proud of the achievement. "Thanks, Malfoy."

Later that night Hermione and Ron were getting ready to go out to dinner with Harry and Ginny to celebrate the award. She was fixing a stray curl with her wand when Ron appeared in the mirror behind her.

"I'm so proud of you," he whispered in her ear as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Thanks, but - well I don't think I ever explained why I got this. I only just put it all together today."

_With Draco Malfoy's help._

"You explained. The Centaur law, I remember. It was brilliant."

"Well, I don't think it was the law itself, but the new process for approval I was able to use to-"

She cut off when she saw that blank look Ron always got when she attempted to talk about her work. "We have to go, I can explain later, if you want to hear about it."

"Of course," he looked relieved. "You're brilliant, it's no surprise you got an award for it. And no doubt there will be many more to come."

Hermione bit her lip. She didn't like to be recognized for her raw intellect. She preferred when people applauded the things she did with it.

It would be the same if Malfoy was regarded for being rich. There was nothing special about that. But if he used the money well, then that would be commendable.

She shook her head. She was spending too much time thinking about Malfoy. She should focus back on Ron, who was right in front of her, smiling and wanting to celebrate her. She returned his smile and tried to clear her thoughts of Malfoy for the rest of the night.

* * *

_Present Time: September 2000 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

Draco was researching in the main library at Nott Manor when he saw Theo walk in. He tried to ignore him and hoped he'd go away. Draco had still not been able to reconcile this Theo with the one he'd met in the future. When did Theo's indifference and biting sarcasm turn into genuine concern?

"Why are you so interested in time travel?"

Draco had guessed Theo would keep track of the books he was researching, so he'd prepared an excuse. Though with limited follow-up, Theo would be able to find he was lying. Draco hoped he wouldn't care enough to check.

"I'm doing research for a company we're looking to invest in."

"A time travel company? Everyone knows the time turners were destroyed."

"They're foreign."

"I'm sure Malfoy Manor has all of these books. Probably more."

"They are unavailable," Draco responded vaguely.

Theo regarded him for a few moments, then shrugged. "Whatever." He finally left Draco alone and he went back to the book he was reading with instructions for making new time turners.

So far he hadn't learned much about time turners that he didn't already know. One of the first books he'd read talked about the powerful protection charms they contained to prevent them from breaking, since the magic of time was incredibly unstable and dangerous when broken.

Draco already knew all of that first hand. He figured it was incredibly unlucky that the dark artifact had managed to fracture the time turner, since it sounded like they were incredibly hard to break.

He'd found an account of a wizard who had experimented with inputting sand from a time turner directly into his bloodstream to turn himself into a human time turner. That had seemed promising at first, since Draco was sure that was what had happened to him.

But there were no more accounts of the wizard and everyone assumed he'd begun jumping around in time and never returned to his original timeline to document what he'd learned.

After reading about that wizard, Draco started looking into extraction spells and potions, reasoning that if he could remove the pieces of the time turner from his blood, he'd stop jumping through time. But he couldn't find an extraction method that worked without a piece of the thing you were trying to remove.

He was growing increasingly frustrated with easy passing day. Draco had laid out a clear plan for his life when he was young. He would graduate Hogwarts top of his class as Head Boy, marry a beautiful pureblood witch, have children until he produced a male heir, then live out his days as a wealthy and powerful member of society.

During the war he thought all his plans had gone to shite and was sure he was going to die. But surprisingly, he'd made it out alive and managed to stay out of Azkaban.

Everything had been on track again, until the day he'd been thrown into a future where he was married to the wrong witch. But if the Dark Lord hadn't been able to derail his plans, Hermione Granger certainly wasn't going to.

Though he was beginning to believe this less and less. Not only was he not making progress with the time research, but the life he'd so clearly planned for himself was slipping away.

Astoria was very annoyed with him, but he had no idea how to confide in her. And he and his father were also distant, but again, Draco didn't know how to tell him what was going on.

Each jump to the future seemed to pull him further off track. And Draco had started to focus all his rising frustration on one person: future Granger.

The last two times he'd tried to fight with her they'd turned almost fun. First that annoying outbreak of laughter, then that stupid duel. But not next time. He was going to make it clear how terrible of a match they were when he saw her again.

As if he'd willed it, his arm started to flicker and his head spun, and for the first time he was hoping he'd meet up with future Granger since he'd been wanting to yell at someone for weeks now and could not think of a person who better deserved his ire.

* * *

_Present Time: October 2004 / Draco's Time: September 2000_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

Draco started yelling as soon as he appeared in the house. This time he was alone in the kitchen. “Granger! Where the fuck are you?”

He marched into the main room and found it empty, then ran upstairs and threw the doors open and found them all empty too. She must be at work. She went back to the main room and checked the clock and figured she should probably be home any minute. 

Just as he thought that she apparated right in front of him. “Well, well. If it isn’t my lovely wife?” he said with as much sarcasm as he could muster.

“Leave me alone, Draco.” She ran up the stairs and when she reached the bedroom she tried to slam the door behind her, but he caught it with his hand and pushed it back open.

“No! We’re going to talk about how you’ve fucking ruined my li-”

She turned back to him and approached so she was inches away from him. “You don’t get to do this!”

Draco was stunning into silence by the unexpected outburst.

"Do you know the day after you proposed to me your past self traveled forward, called me a bitch, then disappeared for two days? You don't get to come here and treat me like this! I never did this to you!"

"I have no memory of any of that. The proposal, calling you a bitch, or even how you treated me. None of that was me!"

"That ring," Draco pointed to the gold ring on her finger, "I would never give you that. I'm planning to use the Malfoy ring when I propose. It's been passed down in my family for centuries. And the fact that I didn't give it to you proves there's something off between us."

She looked away from him then and focused on a spot on the wall, "I hate you."

"Right. But when the other Draco comes back you love him? Don't you see how fucked up this is?"

"No. I hate him too right now," she looked back at him and he saw a mixture of anger and pain in her eyes. "I hate all of you from all your times. I hate this. I hate constantly having to cover for you. And I hate how when you leave you get to go to some better, younger, nicer version of me and I get _you_."

"Then do us all a favor and leave him. Please! I can guarantee that deep down that's what he wants you to do. He just wants to go back to the original life he'd planned for himself."

She regarded him for a few moments, then stormed off and locked herself in the spare room. She didn't come out for the rest of the night.

Draco slept on the couch, since he didn't want to sleep in their bedroom and she had claimed the spare room he usually used. That night he had another nightmare and this time Granger didn't come to help him, and he convinced himself he didn't care.

But it took him hours to get back to sleep. The next morning, he was awoken by sounds of banging in the kitchen. He sneered; sure she was being louder than necessary in an attempt to wake him up.

He joined her in the kitchen and watched her prepare tea for a few moments, then started in again on their conversation from the previous night. "You do realize you're ruining the plan I had for my life? You took away everything I ever wanted for myself."

"Oh, and you think this matches the plan I had for myself? A husband who's constantly disappearing, then coming back in a different form and insulting me?"

"At least you got a choice in this."

"A choice?! I was minding my own business when you walked into my life and started being nice. You wanted to talk about the books I liked, you pretended to be interested in my work, and even said everything you knew you needed to say to get me to break up with Ron." She slammed her mug on the counter and glared back at him. "I didn't stand a chance."

"Then right before we started dating you claimed I had a choice, but-" she cut off and he saw tears forming in her eyes. "You were perfect, everything you knew I wanted, and I felt like fighting it would be going against this huge force…" she trailed off and turned away from him and he saw she was wiping her eyes. "No, I didn't have a choice either."

Draco paused. He hadn't considered this, but she had a point. His future self was going back to see her every time he came forward and had the benefit of knowing everything about her to get her to like him. That Draco had fucked both of them over. _Wanker._

Granger left without a word and was gone for the rest of the day. Draco spent most of the day pacing the rooms, trying to think of a plan. He could tell she was upset with him, not just in this time, but also in the future. Perhaps he could continue to push on that and convince her to break up with him.

Who knew? If she broke it off, maybe his future self would stop trying to court her when he went to the past. Then, maybe this whole relationship between the two of them would never happen.

But it was a risky move, further angering a notably powerful witch like Granger. She could retaliate by hexing him to oblivion. But it's not like he had any other options. His anger grew when she didn't come back that night and he further committed to his reckless plan.

He jumped out of bed the next morning when he heard the door open and he met her in the hall at the top of the stairs.

"Where the fuck were you?"

"What's wrong, dear? Were you worried about me?" She kept walking toward her bedroom but he pulled her arm and she almost tripped and glared at him. "Don't touch me!"

"I need to tell you something."

She waited in silence.

"I want you to know that I would never be attracted to someone like you. I find you to be a repulsive, annoying, bitchy know-it-all. This is clearly an alternate reality, and not a continuous timeline, because the person I am today would _never_ end up with you."

Granger stepped closer to him and scowled. "Do you know how you ended up with me? You realized somewhere along the way you're pathetic. You have no real friends and you spend your days following your father around like a house elf and clinging to a surname that everyone in the wizarding world despises. The only thing you have going for you is access to a lot of money, which, in actuality, you did absolutely nothing to earn."

Draco clenched his fists, trying to control his rising anger, but she continued on, unphased. "Well, one day, pathetic Draco Malfoy gets into a fight with a time turner, then starts jumping around and finds there's more to life than status, and money, and distant relationships.

"There's love, and kindness, and friendship, and you desperately want to be a part of it. And the reason you're acting like this now is because you are finally realizing it and it goes against everything you thought you knew."

She stopped her monologue and stepped back, then shrugged. "Or maybe not. Maybe this screwed up life with awful, ugly, swotty Hermione Granger is just your punishment for being a Death Eater."

She turned to leave but he called her back, "Granger." She stopped but didn't turn around.

"Did you ever stop to consider that maybe it had nothing to do with you? Maybe this so-called pathetic Draco _was_ drawn to love and connection, and you were the only one offering it to him in this fucked up timeline. But given the choice, I'm sure he _never_ would have chosen lonely, pathetic, insecure Hermione Granger."

Granger turned back to him and before he could register the wand in her hand he'd been hit by a full-body bind curse. He fell painfully on his side and tried to suppress his cry of pain, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of knowing she'd hurt him.

She crouched down next to him and he saw there were tears streaming down her face. Draco knew he should feel triumphant, but the sight made him uneasy.

"All this talk of how Draco Malfoy could have possibly ended up with Hermione Granger. When the real question is, how the hell did _I_ end up with _you?"_

She turned and disappeared into her bedroom, then emerged a few moments later and stormed down the stairs.

"Granger!" he tried to shout through his locked jaw, but the sound came out muffled.

He heard the front door slam and called again, but there was no response. She was gone.

* * *

_Present Time: September 2000 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

Granger had left Draco petrified in the hallway all day. It was hours before he finally disappeared back in his time. A week later he saw her again, in his own time, eating lunch with her boyfriend at Diagon Alley.

When she turned toward him he shot her the most hateful look he could muster. It wasn't even part of his scheme to get her to break up with him, he legitimately hated this witch.

The words she'd said to him that day were still echoing through his mind.

_There's more to life than status, and money, and distant relationships. There's love, and kindness, and friendship, and you desperately want to be a part of it._

"What happened?" Blaise asked, watching as Granger looked back at Draco confused. "The last I checked you two were sharing dances. Now you're back to hating her?"

Draco ignored the question and pulled Blaise down the road, "Let's go."

Blaise shrugged him off, annoyed, then Draco flashed back to the first time he'd time jumped. He'd almost forgotten Blaise had been there in his flat, looking at him, sad and concerned.

Like Theo, the Blaise in the future seemed different. More comfortable around Draco for some reason.

_There's more to life than distant relationships...You desperately want to be a part of it._

"I hate her," Draco grumbled under his breath.

"Yes, that's coming through."

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

Ron and Hermione were eating lunch in Diagon Alley as they discussed Harry and Ginny's most recent fight.

"It's so hard for me," Ron was saying. "I want to support my best mate, but Ginny is my sister. And, honestly, I have no idea why they're fighting."

"That's one of their problems," Hermione said with a sigh as she moved the food around on her plate. "They're not actually fighting about real things. They make up this stupid stuff, like how Harry says he's upset Ginny didn't check with him before inviting that new teammate over to his house to meet him. That's not the real issue."

"What's the real issue?"

"Harry is still extremely insecure. He's worried Ginny just likes him because he's famous. And he feels like he's not good enough for her. So when she brings someone round to meet him, he assumes it's just so she can show him off."

Ron nodded, impressed. "What about last month, what was that fight again?"

"Oh, when Harry forgot to invite her to drinks?" Hermione sighed again. "Harry's not the only one with insecurities. Ginny never really forgave him for leaving her behind when he went to hunt Horcruxes. I mean, she knows why, but still, he didn't ask her to come. And he let us go with him.

"And it doesn't help that Harry has this tendency to push her away," Hermione continued. "I think he does it because he's worried she'll leave just like everyone else he's ever loved has. Maybe he's thinking if he is the one pushing her away it will hurt less."

"You know, you're probably right. Now you need to tell _them_."

"I've tried, but those conversations go nowhere. I guess they need to figure it out on their own."

"You know, I reckon you're a relationship expert."

 _Only when it comes to other people's relationships,_ she thought sadly.

Hermione knew there was something off between her and Ron, but she couldn't pinpoint what it was exactly. And it was so much easier to focus on Harry and Ginny's problems instead of her own. Though she knew she should try to talk about it with Ron, sometime.

"Ferret approaching, 2 o'clock," Ron grumbled. Hermione whipped her head around and saw Malfoy walking up the road with Zabini. She smiled instinctively, then immediately dropped it when she saw his hateful expression.

She thought back on their last interaction but couldn't think of anything to account for this reaction. She wondered then if his memory lapses could be so bad that he would forget all their lunches, but then, wouldn't he just look at her indifferently, like he had before?

He was looking at her like she'd done something to wrong him, and he wasn't being subtle. "What did you do to him?" Ron asked.

Hermione shrugged, trying to hide her hurt feelings. "Who cares?"

_You._

She thought back to all the times he'd been nice to her, then she finally pinpointed the difference between those meetings and today. He was only kind when they were alone. But in public, he seemed to want to make it clear to everyone that he wanted nothing to do with Mudblood Hermione Granger.

* * *

_Present Time: October 2000 / Draco's Time: August 2003_

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

Malfoy had the nerve to sit down across from Hermione at the café a few weeks later. She didn't even bother to put down her book. "Go away."

"What?"

She looked over the page at him, but still didn't put her book down. "You're fine hanging out with me when we're alone. But you clearly don't want it to get out that you're friends with a Mudblood."

"Don't say that."

"You're the one who taught me that word."

He looked sad and guilty but didn't have a response.

"Please leave," she repeated.

Malfoy sighed, then eventually left her alone.

* * *

_Present Time: August 2003 / Draco's Time: October 2000_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

The next time Draco time jumped he appeared back in his flat and was working at his desk surrounded by Arithmancy formulas. He scanned the room and spotted Granger reading in the main room.

"Oh, hey. How are you-" she started to ask, but he cut her off.

"You are a fucking bitch!" he yelled, recalling how she'd left him petrified for hours the last time he'd seen her.

He tried to ignore the jolt of pain in his chest caused by her innocent, hurt expression. Then stormed out the front door and started running down the stairs, stopping abruptly when he got to the bottom as he remembered what she'd said to him the last time he'd seen her in the future.

_Do you know the day after you proposed to me your past self traveled forward, called me a bitch, then disappeared for two days?_

He leaned against the wall and started rubbing his face with his hands.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck._

He tried to remove the image of her hurt expression from his mind and remembered that this version of Granger hadn't done anything wrong. She'd just been proposed too, then had her fiancé yell at her for something she hadn't done yet.

 _I am not her fiancé,_ he corrected. _I will_ never _be her fiancé._

But the words felt hollow. He thought he had control over this time jumping, but here he was, fulfilling something she said would happen without meaning too. The feeling of helplessness took him right back to the war when he'd been powerless to act, or even speak, against the Dark Lord.

Draco promised himself he'd never lose control of his life like that again, but here he was, living out this timeline he hated and apparently couldn't change.

He sighed. If he went back to the flat, he would change it, wouldn't he? He wouldn't have done the part where he disappeared for two days. But he couldn't see her right now without completely losing it.

Draco transfigured his clothes, then checked into a Muggle hotel. Just as Granger had said, the time jump lasted two days. When he got back to his flat there was a letter waiting for him again.

_Draco,_

_It's me again. I know I'm not your favorite person right now. And after you read this you're going to like me even less. But remember, I know exactly how you're feeling because three years ago I was standing right where you are now, reading this very letter._

Draco snorted and almost threw the letter in the fire, but something made him keep reading.

_Well, as it turns out, you're not my favorite person either. I can handle you fucking with Hermione in my time, because she mostly understands and I can clean up your mess when I get back. But if you continue to fuck with her in your time, I'm worried this relationship won't happen. And without her we are nothing._

_Hermione is the answer to every question that plagues you right now._

_The unknown source of apprehension every time you consider proposing to Astoria. The detachment between you and your friends that you can't figure out how to remedy. Your hesitation in admitting to Father that you'd rather track investments then serve on boards. And the fear that no one in the world will ever truly understand you, or want to._

_She will fix it all, if you let her. You won't feel lonely or unmoored anymore. But you need to give her a fucking chance._

_I know you hate the time jumping. You feel out of control and that you're being forced toward a future you don't want. But believe me, you'll come to see this for the blessing it is, if you can get your head out of your own arse._

_I told you before and I'll tell you again: be nice to Hermione Granger._

_-Draco_

He balled up the letter and threw it violently into the fire. "It's _my_ fucking life!"

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh dear, past Draco versus future Draco, who the heck is going to win this battle? I think we can all guess… I know the fights between Hermione and Draco are hard to read, but hang in there, I have a very sweet future Hermione / past Draco scene coming up in the next chapter.
> 
> Many thanks to my beta readers: Chloe . Ray and Lancashire Witch! You can follow me over on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson to see aesthetics and a few behind the scenes drabbles for each chapter. Thanks so much for reading, please let me know what you think.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

_There was a look in his eyes I had never seen before. And it took me a few moments to recognize it for what it was._ Remorse.

I don't deserve you, _he said, half-defeated, half-hopeful. It was the most honest thing he had ever said to me. And he was right. He didn't deserve me. Not by a long shot. But he had me nonetheless._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: October 2000 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

Draco was straightening his tie in the mirror when he heard Astoria Floo into his flat. He checked his appearance one last time, then went to meet her.

"You look stunning," he said as he took in her dark red ball gown and elaborate hair style.

It wasn't a lie, she looked gorgeous, though he wished she wasn't wearing so much makeup. He preferred her without it, though he knew better than to say so.

"You don't look so bad yourself," she approached him and placed a soft kiss on his lips, holding back so she wouldn't smudge her lipstick. "Your mother's Halloween Ball was one of my favorite events growing up. I've been looking forward to this for months. And I'm sure I'm not the only one; it's one of the most anticipated events of the year."

Draco nodded absently as Granger's words echoed through his mind, " _...clinging to a surname that everyone in the wizarding world despises."_

"Let's go." Draco offered her his arm, then he apparated them to Malfoy Manor. His mother and father were waiting in the drawing room to greet their guests as they arrived. His mother went to Astoria and they started complimenting each other's dresses while his father nodded in greeting and began thoroughly scanning Draco's appearance.

Draco was pretty sure his father knew about the time travel. He always took time to study Draco when he saw him, which made him think he was trying to decide if he was from a different time. The more he thought about that first day, the more he realized his father must have watched him transform into an older version of himself while they were battling the dark artifacts.

Maybe future Draco had even explained the situation to his father. Draco couldn't be sure, but he knew it wasn't an accident that all the books on time had suddenly disappeared from the library. But he wasn't ready to talk to his father about it and was relieved that his father hadn't brought it up either.

"You look well, Draco."

"Thank you, Father."

"I have a board meet at the Hendricks Corporation next week, if you'd like to join me. You remember Harold Hendricks, he's the one who-"

"Is interested in setting up a wizarding-run bank. I remember, Father."

 _Your hesitation in admitting to Father that you'd rather track investments than serve on boards._ This time it was Draco's own voice echoing in his mind. He knew he never should have read that damned letter.

"Owl me the details and I'll attend," Draco ended with a curt nod, then went to greet his mother.

"Did you guys hear about Pansy?"

Draco pulled his attention away from a bat he'd been watching fly around the ballroom.

"She's marrying some Bulgarian bloke," Daphne continued.

"Oh, good for her," Astoria chimed in.

Blaise smirked back at her and shook his head. "I heard the whole wedding is happening in such a rush because Pansy is pregnant. I don't even think she likes the bloke, but her mother is forcing her to go through with the wedding."

"How do you always know this random shit?" Theo asked.

Blaise shrugged, "Just keeping up with an old friend, where's the harm in that?"

"Right," Draco cut in, "because you and Pansy were so close." Those two had constantly been at each other's throats in school. It had nearly driven Draco mad.

"No, you're right. The closest person to Pansy here is you, Draco. Pity you two don't keep in touch anymore." Draco narrowed his eyes at Blaise but didn't rise to the bait.

Draco and Pansy had dated through most of fifth and sixth year, with occasional breaks, but in seventh year he'd broken it off. Then they'd started dating again following the end of the war, but it had ended terribly after just three months. She'd complained endlessly about his depression and he'd been disgusted that she wasn't more affected by the war.

Ultimately, she'd cheated on him which had hurt more than he'd expected. Draco had been so wounded that he'd uncharacteristically reached out to Blaise and Daphne for support. They'd been kind enough at the time, but Draco should have known better.

Here Blaise was, using what he knew of Draco's breakup to get a laugh. This was why Draco tried to keep his distance.

_The detachment between you and your friends that you can't figure out how to remedy._

Draco turned to Astoria and pulled her to the dance floor. She placed her drink on a passing tray then turned to him and smiled. "Ignore Blaise, he's an arse," she whispered, then kissed his cheek.

Draco nodded uncomfortably. Great, so Astoria knew about the whole Pansy thing too. Daphne must have told her. He didn't know if he was upset about that or not. He figured he should have been the one to tell Astoria, but he found it nearly impossible to talk to her about anything meaningful.

But she was kind, beautiful, and clever. She was a good match for him, and his parents approved of her. He admitted that was because her family was part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight. Besides that, he didn't think his parents knew very much about her, apart from the fact that she was well-mannered and clearly loved their son.

But did he love her back? Did it even matter? He'd planned to propose by the end of the year, but that was just months away now.

_The unknown source of apprehension every time you consider proposing to Astoria._

"Let's get out of here," he bent and whispered into her ear.

"Draco, we've been here less than an hour."

"You stay then," he leaned in and kissed her forehead, "I'll stop by your house tomorrow."

He could see she was disappointed, but before she could protest he turned for the hall. He had to get out of here. As soon as he left the ballroom he heard his father call out for him.

Draco turned and nodded to his father and saw him studying him again. "Father?"

"Is anything the matter?"

"I'm feeling ill. Tell mother the ball was spectacular, as always. I'll see you next week."

Draco rushed to the drawing room, then hesitated in front of the fireplace and went to his old bedroom instead. He lit a few candles on the dresser, then rummaged through the top drawer until he found a ring box. He opened it and studied the engagement ring in the candlelight. He remembered what he'd told Granger about this ring.

_I'm planning to use the Malfoy ring when I propose. It's been passed down in my family for centuries. And the fact that I didn't give it to you proves there's something off between us._

It was true, he'd been surprised to see her wearing a different ring. Why wouldn't he give her this? This was the ring meant for his future wife. There was a significance to using a different one, he was sure of it, but he couldn't figure out what it was.

 _This is my life. This is my life. This is my life,_ he kept repeating in his mind. If he wanted to, he could take this ring and give it to Astoria, he knew she'd accept it. Then he wouldn't end up married to Granger in the future. But something was holding him back, and for the first time in a long while, he finally had the words to describe it.

_The fear that no one in the world will ever truly understand you, or want to...lonely...unmoored._

* * *

_Present Time: May 2004 / Draco's Time: November 2000_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

A week later, the feeling of vertigo came over Draco as he read the Daily Prophet in the kitchen of his flat. When he realized what was happening, he didn't know if he was upset about it or relieved. He didn't particularly want to see Granger, but he also wanted to get as far away from his present as possible.

He appeared in an unfamiliar room and it took him awhile to realize he was in a small, open-air house on a beach. He took a deep breath, then peered into the adjacent room and paused at the sight in front of him.

Granger was across the room, watching the setting sun from the open window. She was wearing a long, see-through silk dress over a swimsuit and her hair was billowing down her back in loose ringlets.

The way the sunlight streamed into the window around her lit her up like a deity and Draco admitted that there really was only one word to describe how she looked right now: breathtaking.

When she looked back at him and smiled it was clear she'd been expecting him and Draco's heart started beating hard in his chest. He'd never seen her looking so relaxed and content. It took him a moment to find his voice. "We're on holiday?"

She nodded and her eyes flashed with a hint of sadness. "Yeah, so you can't run off this time."

"Right, uh, I've done that already? What's the time?" When she looked up at him he could recall her expression from the last time he'd seen her. Innocent, hurt, confused.

"May, 2004. It's our honeymoon." Draco's stomach clenched and he swore under his breath. He may not want to marry this woman, but he also didn't want to ruin her honeymoon. She'd done nothing to deserve that. This wasn't the Granger who had been cruel to him. Well, not yet at least.

"How long into the trip are we?"

"We arrived this afternoon. This is our first night."

Draco hitched his breath and Hermione smirked back at him. "I mean, it's not our wedding night or anything. And even if it were - we've had sex before..."

Draco looked away from her amused expression, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable.

"I usually can't get you to shut up about sex," she muttered under her breath. Draco continued to keep his eyes away from her and was focusing on a palm tree outside the window. He could feel her walking closer to him and then her hand unexpectedly touched his face and turned it so he was facing her.

She looked into his eyes. "You don't love me," she stated. "You don't even like me." Her big brown eyes continued to bore into his own, then she took a step back and dropped her hand. "Why not?"

Draco sighed. "I don't know you."

"How many times have we met so far?"

Draco started counting in his head. "Five times in the future. And in my time, uh...two. You seem nice, Granger. But I don't want to be forced into this. I hate feeling like I'm being forced into things."

"Is that because of the war?"

"Fuck, leave me alone." Draco turned away from her and started pacing the room. "So I guess your Draco told you things. But that's - as far as I'm concerned, that's not me."

"Then why don't _you_ tell me?"

Draco stopped pacing and looked back at her, "About the war?"

Granger shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

"I'm sure you already know."

"I don't, actually. I know the gist, obviously, but no details. We mostly avoid that topic. I learned in the middle of a drinking game that we've discussed it, but that hasn't happened for me yet."

Draco walked over to her and studied her face to see if she was lying, but she looked sincere. "You married me without knowing everything I did in the war?" That actually explained quite a lot.

She shrugged and smirked back at him. "I learned in that same drinking game that you haven't killed anyone, but you did torture first years."

"What the fuck kind of drinking game was that?"

"A memorable one." She sighed. "I can tell you about the war from my perspective, if you're interested."

"How have we not already had this conversation?"

She shrugged again and walked to the doorway. "We're not a normal couple, Draco."

"No fucking shit," he muttered under his breath. Then he narrowed his eyes at her. "Why do you want to know?"

"Honestly Draco, I don't. I'd prefer to forget everything that happened in the war, but that's not a realistic expectation." She sighed again and leaned her forehead against the door frame. "But I also don't want you to sit here and yell at me. And I can tell a part of you wants to talk about it."

She turned her head to look at him and gave him a pretty smile. "You told me once that you used to believe the future you saw with me was an alternate reality that would never come to pass. Well, if that's what you believe, then what's the harm?"

Draco shook his head, then moved his eyes to the brilliant sky outside the window. "What if you change your mind about marrying me?"

"That's future Draco's problem, not yours. You've never talked to anyone about it, have you?"

"What do you think?" he snapped.

She smiled again. "There's a poem. I like poetry, not sure if you know that about me yet. But anyway, it goes like this: 'Imagine meeting someone who wanted to learn your past not to punish you, but to understand how you needed to be loved.' That's what I'm offering here Draco, if you want it."

She turned to go outside, then said over her shoulder, "You can do what you want Draco, I really don't care. If you want to talk, I'm here for you. If not, that's fine too. But please, no yelling or dueling."

She walked out of sight then and Draco went to the window and watched her settle onto a bench just outside the house facing the sun which was almost completely by set now. He watched it until it had left the sky, then waited until all of the remaining light was gone from the horizon before joining her outside.

She was right. There was no real harm in talking to her. He didn't think this future would ever come to pass. And maybe she would decide to leave him after he admitted everything. That was what he wanted, wasn't it?

And he'd always been curious. Astoria was constantly nagging him about getting things off his chest. And even Potter went to a mind healer, he'd admitted it in an interview once. This was a pretty risk-free way to test out the theory and see if talking really did help somehow; though he was doubtful it would change anything.

He sat next to her on the bench and they both watched the ocean in silence for several moments before she started to talk.

"There are five moments from the war that have stayed with me, and I still have nightmares about all of them. Most of the rest of the war is a blur. The first one, was the day I obliviated my parents." She looked over at him and her eyes were incredibly sad and sparkling with tears.

"I wanted to hide them, but they wouldn't go away; they didn't truly comprehend the threat. So I removed all memories of myself from their minds and convinced them to change their names and move to Australia."

Draco did not know this and had no idea she'd made such a sacrifice. "Were you able to reverse it?"

She nodded and looked down and he saw a tear fall onto the ground. "They're back to normal now. Though they've decided to continue living in Australia. That act- it destroyed our relationship. But- I'd do it again, of course I would."

She took a deep breath, then continued. "The second was when Ron left me and Harry during our hunt for the Horcruxes. I'm not sure how much you know about all that…" she looked over at him and he shrugged.

"Just what they reported in the papers."

"The paper made it sound glamorous, like we knew exactly what we were doing. But it wasn't like that at all. We had limited clues and spent months nearly starved and at a loss for what to do next. Ron was fed up, and he left…for a while. It broke my heart, and Harry's too."

"And the third thing, well, it was that day at Malfoy Manor. I don't need to go into the details, you were there."

Draco gulped, but remained silent.

"Fourth, was when I walked into the Great Hall and saw it lined with bodies. Lupin, Tonks-" her voice cracked and tears were streaming down her face. "Fred, Lavender, Colin, all of them. I knew people were dying in the war and I saw them fall in the battle, but lined up like that-" She cut off again and dipped her head and Draco saw that she was sobbing quietly.

He knew exactly how she felt, he remembered the same scene. She cried silently for a few moments and Draco was at a loss of what to do. He considered touching her a few times, but didn't know if that would make it better or worse. Eventually, she sat back up and continued talking, occasionally rubbing tears away with the bottom of her dress.

"And the last, was when Hagrid was carrying Harry's supposedly dead body out of the forest. I was so sure we'd lost then and that despair - it was all consuming. When I think of that moment, even now, it all comes flooding back to me."

She turned and looked over at Draco and he could see her eyes were wet with tears, but she still looked beautiful. "It's funny, none of those had Voldemort in them. I mean, it all happened because of him…" she looked back at the ocean. "Harry obviously has more memories with him in them, and I suspect you do too. But - well those are my ghosts."

It was a while before Draco started talking, and when he finally did, he was grateful that she was looking at the ocean and not at him.

"I have more than five. There are probably fifteen or twenty scenes that my brain cycles through when it comes to nightmares- I've never counted." Draco remembered then, how she'd helped him with his nightmare in the future. Had she done that for him yet?

He continued talking through his memories. Taking the mark. The first time he was tortured in the summer before sixth year. Training with Bellatrix. Being forced to go on raids.

He told her about the prisoners who were brought back to the Manor and how he tried to help them. How, occasionally, for the ones he knew had been forced to watch their loved ones die, he'd removed those memories from their mind, so they wouldn't have to continuously play through them.

But everyone he'd tried to help had eventually been killed. He talked about Hogwarts in his seventh year and how it was what he imagined Muggle hell to be like. When he got to the parts of his story when he was forced to torture others, she finally looked over at him.

He'd expected to see a look of disgust, but she looked concerned and placed a comforting hand on his leg. He remembered the poem she'd quoted earlier.

_Imagine meeting someone who wanted to learn your past not to punish you, but to understand how you needed to be loved._

This witch loved him, he was sure of it. He wasn't sure how he felt about it, but he knew it was true.

Finally, after recounting the Final Battle and his relief at watching the Dark Lord killed, he stopped talking. She removed her hand from his leg and they stayed staring at the moon for a long while. He wondered if she would say something, or just leave, having finally gotten what she wanted from him.

He considered the differences in their experiences. She'd had terrible things done to her, but had done absolutely nothing wrong. He, on the other hand -his inability to act, was despicable. How could she possibly want to be with someone like him?

"You just listed facts, Draco. But you left out all of the emotion."

Draco tried to read her expression, but it was blank. He shook his head. "I'm not a Gryffindor Granger. I don't sit around talking about my feelings."

"I know. Just - if you could sum up the whole war in one emotion. Which would it be?"

Draco looked back at her but remained silent. When he didn't answer, she pressed, "Fear? Apprehension? Disgust?"

Looking into her eyes was like taking a dose of Veritaserum. Eventually, Draco responded, "Remorse." He looked away from her then and felt a single tear slide down his cheek. He felt completely wrecked. He thought talking about this stuff was supposed to make him feel better. But he couldn't recall a time he'd ever felt this bad.

A warm hand touched his face and he closed his eyes as she pulled him to face her. She stroked her thumb along his cheek to wipe the tear away, then whispered, "I know you thought I'd change my mind about being with you. But, well, I think I'll keep you. Even with all that."

Draco hadn't realized how much he'd wanted her acceptance, until she said that. He opened his eyes and saw that - impossibly - she was smiling at him. He couldn't help but return it and they sat there watching each other until she shivered and pulled her hand back to rub her arms.

"I can summon you a blanket," he moved to pull his wand from his pocket, but she just shook her head and leaned against his side instead. Draco knew he should push her off, but it was the absolute last thing his body wanted to do in that moment.

Instead, he lifted his arm up and wrapped it around her and she snuggled closer into his body.

 _You have a girlfriend_ , he reminded himself. But no matter how hard he tried; he couldn't keep Astoria in his thoughts. Not tonight. He looked back at the moon, and all his thoughts were consumed by Granger.

He replayed their conversation tonight, then started to recall conversations they'd had during his time jumps.

_I know what I signed up for, but sometimes I think it's too hard._

_I hate all of you from all your times. I hate this._

_You think this matches the plan I had for myself? A husband who's constantly disappearing, then coming back in a different form and insulting me?_

_All this talk of how Draco Malfoy could have possibly ended up with Hermione Granger. When the real question is, how the hell did_ I _end up with_ you _?_

He'd been so busy hating her, he hadn't really stopped to listen to what she'd been saying. She would come to regret being with him, and it made complete sense. He was awful for her.

That was all in the future though, and he felt a little bad for the Granger in his arms right now. And he felt sad, too, for his future self. But that future Draco still chose to go to the past and try to convince Granger to love him, even knowing how she'd come to feel.

Did they get past it all? Draco was suddenly worried about them, though he'd never allowed himself to consider them a real couple before. He remembered the first time jump then, but he'd never gotten the date on that, so he didn't know if it was before or after all the times Granger had been upset with him.

Draco spent most of his time trying to forget that first jump, and as he tried to recall it now, the details were blurry. But he remembered she'd clearly loved him and said something about it all being worth it.

He realized then he was absently stroking her arm and stopped and focused on her breathing against his chest. He looked down and saw she was asleep. He should take her back inside, but he stayed put, enjoying the feel of her against him.

He remembered another conversation they'd had then, when he'd pointed out that when he went to the future, she never tried to woo him. He'd have to amend that now. She'd done an excellent job of trying to change his opinion of her tonight, though she'd been incredibly subtle about it. Maybe in some other life she could have been a Slytherin.

* * *

_Present Time: November 2000 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

When Draco got back to his time, he went straight to Malfoy Manor. He checked his father's study for inhabitants and let out a sigh of relief when the spell showed it was empty. He walked over to the pensieve and carefully removed it from the shelf, then stared at it for a few moments, reconsidering his plan.

He sat on the chair, then pulled his wand to his temple and dropped the memory of his first time jump inside. He watched it swirl around for a few moments longer before finally working up the courage to go inside.

He was at the house in London and Granger was crying in the hall. He watched her fling herself onto him and crouched down next to memory Draco so he could see her face clearly. She was older than all the other Grangers, he was sure of it. Or maybe that's just what he wanted to believe.

But he'd always assumed this memory was just over six years in the future, to match with the number of times he'd turned the time turner before it broke. And that would fit. It would make this the latest jump he'd completed to date.

"I love you, Draco. I know you have no idea what is going on, but I love you, I love you, I love you."

"What do you know? What is going on?" his memory self asked.

"It was worth it," she continued. "All the tears, all the fights, the uncertainty. All of it. I'd do it all again."

She looked incredibly sad but seemed determined to get through her speech. Draco wondered why. Surely she knew the Draco she was talking to had no idea what was going on.

"Who are you talking to, Granger?"

"You asked me once who I love most. All of them. I love you regardless of the time, or your memories, or whatever is going on around us." She placed her hand on Memory Draco's chest.

"I love your soul, Draco. Even now. I know you hate me. And maybe you think this is a bit repulsive. But I still love you, and I promise I'll never stop." Draco looked into her eyes and the raw expression of love there was intoxicating.

Memory Draco stood and left then, and Draco pulled himself out of the pensieve. He braced his hands on the desk for a long time and reconsidered everything he'd seen, given what he knew now.

So they got over it. They obviously went through some sort of rough patch, maybe caused by his past self jumping forward and insulting Granger, but later, she'd forgive him.

_It was worth it. All the tears, all the fights, the uncertainty. All of it. I'd do it all again._

_You don't care about these people_ , he tried to remind himself. _They aren't real._

_Hermione is the answer to every question that plagues you right now. She will fix it all, if you let her. You won't feel lonely or unmoored anymore. But you need to give her a fucking chance._

Draco didn't know how long he stayed there, warring with himself in his mind. By the end, he'd solved nothing, but knew something had shifted. He jumped when he heard a noise outside the door, then floated the pensieve back onto the shelf.

He was surprised to find his eyes were wet and quickly wiped them, then checked the hall. It was empty, maybe it had just been a house elf. He rushed back to his flat and tried to busy himself with investments and star charts, but he couldn't get Hermione's loving expression out of his mind.

 _Granger,_ he corrected, _her name is Granger._

* * *

_Present Time: November 2000 / Draco's Time: May 2004_

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

A month later, Malfoy showed up at the cafe again. He approached warily, seeming to pick up on her aloofness. "May I sit?"

"Why would you think my thoughts have changed since I last saw you?"

"Right, when you told me you were - uh - mad at me."

Hermione frowned. Surely his memory lapses couldn't be that bad. He must remember the cold look he'd given her in Diagon Alley? And their subsequent conversation when she'd asked him to leave her alone.

"You are fine when we are alone, but when anyone else is around, you act like I'm scum. Not worthy to be around wonderful, pureblood Draco Malfoy."

"It's not that, really. I'm just-" he paused looking for the right word, "-moody. It's hereditary," he added with a roguish smile, which she tried to ignore.

She narrowed her eyes at him but didn't protest when he took the seat opposite her. They sat in silence as she finished the last of her lunch, then when she finally set her fork down he asked, "Are you finished eating?"

She looked down at her empty plate, as if that should be answer enough.

"Okay, let's go." Malfoy stood up and started pulling his jacket on.

"Where?" Hermione asked, remaining in her seat.

"For ice cream."

"It's winter."

"Autumn, technically, and we're wizards. That's what warming charms are for." He pulled her jacket from the back of her chair and held it out for her. "Come on, you seem like the kind of person that likes ice cream no matter the weather."

She glared back at him, wondering how he could have possibly guessed that, but decided to go with him, more out of curiosity than anything, and put her arms through the jacket he was holding out for her.

Hermione followed him when they got outside into a dark alley and when she saw him start to pull out his wand she stopped him. "There's an ice cream shop just up the road."

He shrugged. "I like Florean Fortescue's. Meet you there." He disapparated before she had a chance to protest. She sighed and pulled out her wand, then appeared a few seconds later in Diagon Alley.

Malfoy was several feet away from her, leaning casually against the wall. She saw he'd already transfigured his clothes back into robes. "What are you doing?"

"Showing you I'm not ashamed to be seen with you, now come on. He opened the door to the ice cream parlor, then held it as she hesitated on the street. She wasn't sure she wanted this strange friendship publicized.

She wasn't exactly ashamed of him, but meeting together in Diagon Alley, especially with how recognizable they both were, was almost as bad as taking an ad out in the Daily Prophet.

"Hermione?" Malfoy was still holding the door open and the expression on his face was annoyingly smug.

She finally went inside, then gave her order and let him pay. She noticed he tipped nearly 200% and wondered if he felt guilty for what had happened to Florean in the war, or maybe he always tipped an obnoxious amount because he could.

Instead of handing her her ice cream cone, he took both cones and went for a table near the window. She followed after him and hesitated before sitting down. "Seriously, we're going to sit here? During lunch hour?"

He smirked as he pulled the chair out for her. "My my, Hermione. Are you ashamed to be seen with an ex-Death Eater? Worried it will sully your pristine reputation?" His tone was light and she saw his eyes sparkling with amusement.

"Fine," she grumbled, taking her cone out of his hand and sitting down in the chair. They ate in silence as Hermione tried her best not to look out the window. She wondered what Ron would say if he found out. She'd admitted about Malfoy's apology that night of the Quidditch match, but hadn't told him that she'd been continuing to meet him for lunch for months.

Eventually, Malfoy asked her about what she was reading, and she got caught up in the conversation and forgot to be worried about the people walking by.

As she was finishing her cone, a knock on the glass pulled her out of her argument with Malfoy over the merits of Shakespeare and she saw Neville waving at her on the other side. He motioned for her to go outside and she looked back at Malfoy and blushed, then went to see what Neville wanted.

"Uh, Hermione. Are you okay?"

"Of course Neville. Why do you ask?"

He cocked his head toward the window where Malfoy was probably smirking and she sighed. "Yes, I am - uh, friends with Draco Malfoy."

"Wow - er. Okay…"

"I, well, I should get back."

"Right, I just wanted to check."

"I understand, thanks."

When she got back to the table Malfoy was grinning widely and she rolled her eyes but had lost the flow of their earlier conversation. Now Ron would definitely find out. And she'd have to explain why she hadn't thought to mention the news of her and Malfoy's friendship before.

"What's wrong Hermione? Worried about this getting back to your boyfriend?"

"Of course not." She waved him off.

Malfoy looked like he was considering something, then finally he seemed to make a decision and asked, "Why Weasley, out of all the other blokes?"

"What?"

"He just seems...easy. Tell me you didn't just pick him because he was there and was a safe choice. You're better than that."

"That's none of your business. You barely know me, and you know him even less. Ron is incredible. He's not just 'there.' He's loyal, and kind, and funny. And - and I love him. We are great together."

He nodded, like he didn't really believe her, then smirked to himself and shook his head. "I think you can do better."

She glared back at him. "I'm not interested in your opinion, Malfoy."

He shrugged then left her shortly after that and she considered him as she watched him walk down the street toward Gringotts. Who was he to judge her relationship with Ron? Talk about picking someone easy, look at his girlfriend, the perfect, pureblood princess.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I loved writing the honeymoon scene, hopefully you all enjoyed it too. I like the part in every Dramione story when Draco's cold heart starts to melt. I couldn't find the original author of the poem Hermione mentions in this scene, it just seems to be quoted all over the internet with no clear source.
> 
> Many thanks to my beta readers: Chloe . Ray and Lancashire Witch! You can follow me over on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson to see aesthetics and a few behind the scenes drabbles for each chapter. Thanks so much for reading, please let me know what you think.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

_I count his breaths,_

_in hours unslept,_

_against hours of him,_

_I have left._

_With him lying there,_

_with him unaware,_

_I am out of my depth._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: December 2000 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

Draco was in his flat pouring over Arithmancy charts when Astoria arrived through the Floo. He could tell immediately something was wrong with her. She didn't look angry but was definitely upset.

He closed his notebook and put the quill down, then looked up at her and waited for her to speak.

"Tell me honestly Draco, are you cheating on me with Hermione Granger?"

Draco's eyes widened and he stood up. "No. Of course not."

His mind immediately recalled that night on the beach, last week, though he knew that wasn't what she was talking about. Also, wrapping his arm around another witch hardly counted as cheating.

"Daphne saw you!"

"Doing what?" This was obviously something future Draco had done and he knew he had to proceed carefully, since he had no idea what had actually happened.

"What does that mean? That you've done so many things with her and want to know specifically what you were caught at?"

"No, Stori," Draco sighed and placed his hands on her shoulders. "I am not cheating on you. I would never do that. I haven't done anything with her that could be construed as cheating, so I'm confused." He really hoped this was true. "Tell me what Daphne saw."

Astoria regarded him, then eventually sighed and went to sit on the couch. "She said she saw you two eating ice cream together in Diagon Alley last week."

_Ice cream? In the winter?_

"And I know that alone isn't a huge deal," she continued, "you're obviously allowed to eat ice cream with whoever you please. But, coupled with that strange dance you shared a few months ago, and with how distant you've been lately…" she trailed off and Draco went to sit next to her on the couch.

He took a deep breath. He was annoyed with his future self. If this future Draco really was a different version of him, he thought he could count on him to be a little more discreet. Future Draco knew he had a girlfriend, and Hermione still had a boyfriend in this time.

_Granger! Stop calling her Hermione._

"Stori, I'm sorry. It really is nothing. I- I-" Draco was flipping through potential excuses in his mind. "I was apologizing to her. For, uh, the war, and how I treated her in school."

Astoria looked down at her hands and Draco waited for her to respond, but she remained silent.

"You believe me. Right? I'm not cheating."

She finally looked up at him and nodded. "I believe you. Uh - now that you've apologized, are you finished seeing her?"

Now it was Draco's turn to look away. He wanted to say yes, but knew he'd continue to time jump and his future self would undoubtedly continue to seek Granger out. If he really wanted to end this, he could find Granger right now and tell her what was going on, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to do that. Not yet.

"Um, in the few times we've talked, we've become sort of- acquaintances. I might see her again - nothing romantic though, of course."

Astoria looked sad, but she nodded back at him, then leaned her head against the couch and closed her eyes. "So, you talked to her about the war?"

Draco nodded. At least now he was being honest. He had talked to Granger about the war, but technically, in this timeline, that night on the beach hadn't happened yet.

"You can talk to me about that stuff too, Draco." She looked back at him and her dark brown eyes were pleading.

Draco sighed and placed a hand on her leg. "I know. It's hard for me."

"But you can confide in a stranger? Someone you don't even like?"

She had a point. Why was it easier for him to tell everything to Granger than his own girlfriend? He knew he should make more of an effort with Astoria if he really did intend to marry her.

Draco took a deep breath, then decided to go for it. "I still have a lot of nightmares from the war. Uh - but, you don't. Do you?"

She dropped his gaze, then shook her head. "Is that why you don't want to talk to me?" she asked, her head still down. "Because you don't think I went through as much as you did?"

Draco stayed silent and his heart dropped. He was trying to confide in her, but she was taking it wrong. Did she not see what just that one admission had cost him?

She looked back up at him and there were tears in her eyes. "A lot of the reason I don't have awful memories to relive is because of you. You protected me and Daphne from the Carrows. But- well- I didn't know at the time, not being tortured or raped, would preclude me from getting to know the real you later on."

Draco swore under his breath. "That's not what I meant at all. I'm trying-" he cut off, frustrated now. This was not going well.

"Astoria, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that at all. I'm so glad you didn't suffer in the war." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He wished he could time jump now and have future Draco come finish this conversation. He took a deep breath, then used a small amount of Occlumency to clear his mind.

He felt a warm hand on his face. "I'm sorry Draco, I guess I'm being overly defensive. I- I'm really sorry you still have nightmares. Do you-? Do you want to tell me about them?"

When Draco opened his eyes he saw that Astoria was looking back at him apprehensively.

_Imagine meeting someone who wanted to learn your past, not to punish you, but to understand how you needed to be loved._

Draco realized then he didn't trust her enough to tell her. He didn't know what she'd do with the information. He raised his hand to her hair and started running his fingers through it. "No, Astoria, not now. But- um- that's why I don't want you to stay over. Because of the nightmares."

Astoria nodded back at him and he could tell this small confession was enough for her. She leaned in and placed a kiss on his cheek, and he let out a sigh of relief since this awkward conversation finally seemed to be over.

He watched her stand and straighten her skirt before disappearing into his bathroom. He wondered then where the conversation had gone wrong. It had flowed so easily with Granger, but the past few minutes with Astoria had been a disaster. Maybe it was the wrong time, since she was clearly still sensitive about Granger.

A few minutes later, she reappeared. "Can I get ready here?" Draco looked back at her confused. "For the ballet tonight. Have you forgotten?"

"Of course not." Her face fell. "I mean - yes, get ready here. And no, I didn't forget." Though that was a lie, he'd completely forgotten.

Draco went back to his work and Astoria joined him at the table, trying to follow along with the Arithmancy formulas. He stopped and watched her, amused. "Do you want me to explain this to you?"

Maybe this was a better way to try to include her in his life. He couldn't admit gruesome details from the war to her, though he could involve her in his job. But he was disappointed when she shook her head.

"It's okay. I've never been great with maths. I just like watching you." She gave him a warm smile and he forced a smile on his face before going back to the charts in front of him.

A few hours later, as Draco and Astoria ascended the steps of the theater, they passed by Granger and the Weasley girl. Draco froze at the sight of her. This was the first time he'd seen her since talking through the war with her- he'd disappeared before she'd awoken.

But this version of her didn't know what they'd shared, he reminded himself. He had no idea what to do, so he settled for a polite nod, then guided Astoria inside.

In the middle of the first act, he excused himself when he felt his head start to spin. He sighed in the hall and hoped his future self wouldn't do anything to further upset Astoria tonight. Then he removed his outer robes and bowtie and placed them on the ground, reasoning it would be easier for his future self if he didn't have to transfigure his current clothes into an entire new set of dress robes. When along the way had he stopped hating the other Draco?

* * *

_Present Time: December 2000 / Draco's Time: March 2005_

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

When Hermione saw Malfoy and his girlfriend on the steps of the theater, she froze. She wondered how he'd react this time. He looked her up and down, clearly startled to see her too, then gave her a curt nod.

She wasn't sure how she felt by that reaction. It wasn't a sneer, but not quite a smile. But there was a hint of familiarity in the gesture…

_Stop over-analyzing this. It's just Malfoy._

"I can't believe you two are friends," Ginny muttered.

"Me neither."

Hermione had finally admitted to her odd friendship with Malfoy after Neville saw them in Diagon Alley. Surprisingly, Ron hadn't been very upset. She had actually hoped for a little more jealousy on his part, though she knew that was immature. It was good that he wasn't angry, it meant he trusted her. But a part of her wished he cared a little more and didn't take for granted the fact that she'd always be there.

Both Ron and Harry had been much more interested in Malfoy's motives behind befriending her than in her motives for allowing it to happen. She guessed that was their Auror training coming through.

Ginny pulled her into the theater and Hermione was glad to be out of the cold. She handed her cloak to the attendant and saw Ginny studying her new dress robes. "I'm glad you went with the navy robes over the green. They go better with your skin tone."

"Thanks Gin."

"And the cut - very sexy Hermione," she winked. "It's too bad we couldn't convince the boys to come out with us tonight."

"Oh, I don't mind. I won't have to nudge a snoring Ron awake every few moments," Hermione quipped. She looked down at her robes and silently agreed with Ginny. This was a lovely color. She just wished Ron had noticed.

Hermione and Ginny had spent all afternoon at a new salon having their hair and makeup done for tonight. The owner had offered to make them up for free as long as they told everyone where they'd gone, when they were inevitably photographed tonight. Hermione wanted to decline the offer, but Ginny had convinced her to go along with it. Pointing out that Hermione rarely took the time to get dressed up.

But when she'd returned to the flat Ron had barely looked up from the television and said, "you look nice." Even Harry had reacted better, commenting on specific aspects of her appearance that he liked, such as her hairdo and new earrings.

She sighed. This just wasn't Ron's strong suit, she knew that. He'd been better at giving her compliments at the beginning, but she knew that was just because of that book he was reading. After a few months of dating, when he was finally comfortable, he stopped following the book, and the compliments stopped too.

But that was okay with Hermione. It's not like she was a witch overly concerned with her appearance.

An hour later, during Intermission, Hermione was waiting for Ginny to emerge from the washroom when she saw Malfoy again.

He was a few feet away, staring off into the distance and he looked like he'd rather be anywhere else than his current location. She smiled to herself. Why did wizards hate the ballet so much?

She tried to catch his eye, but he was lost in his own thoughts, so she took a deep breath and approached him carefully. "Hey."

He looked back at her and hummed in reply.

"You seem upset."

"Your powers of deduction are unmatched," he responded sourly.

"I always thought so." Her comment seemed to catch him off guard, and he finally looked at her properly and smiled.

He sighed and explained, "It's Astoria. She's been cold all night. I assume she's still not over the ice cream date."

Hermione nodded. "I got a lecture too." She didn't add that it was a lot shorter than she'd hoped it would be.

Malfoy looked back at her again and she saw he was appraising her appearance. She waited patiently and studied his expression, suddenly curious to know what he thought, and a little nervous that he would actually tell her.

"I know you don't like it when witches are valued for their appearance," he started, but she cut him off before he could continue.

"You do? And how do you know that?"

He shrugged. "You're easy to read. Anyway, I was just going to say that you look incredible tonight. That's a good color on you. And your hair like that, out of your face, it's nice. And whatever you did to your eyes, it's a lovely effect."

Hermione tried to ignore the feeling that her heart was floating as Draco Malfoy - of all people - said the words she wished she'd heard from Ron.

"You don't look so bad yourself, Malfoy."

He gave her a smug look, like he already knew he looked good. _Arse._

Just then Astoria finally came out of the bathroom and linked her arm with Malfoy's a bit possessively. "Ready, Draco?" She gave Hermione a curt nod, then turned away before he had a chance to respond, pulling him along with her.

Hermione saw Malfoy's eyes darken, but he followed her anyway and she wondered what was going on between them. Then she shook her head. That was none of her business, and honestly, she didn't care.

* * *

_Present Time: March 2005 / Draco's Time: December 2000_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

When Draco left the theater he appeared back in the bedroom of the house he shared with Granger. She was looking in the mirror and fixing her hair with her wand. This was the first time he was seeing future Granger since that night on the beach and he wondered if spending time with her would feel different now.

Before he had a chance to consider it further, she turned to him and frowned. "Do you like me or not right now?"

He hesitated, caught off guard by the question and unsure of his response.

"Actually, I don't care. I did not spend all of last night hiding eggs around that house just to miss out." She walked over to him and studied his eyes further, then pulled him to the closet.

"You need to change. You obviously can't go to Harry's dressed like that."

"Potter?"

"Yes, Harry Potter. I'm sure you remember him from school." Her eyes were sparkling with mirth and Draco rolled his eyes.

He looked around the closet and tried to ignore her watching him a few paces away. He was pleased to see that although his taste in witches had clearly changed, his taste in clothing was still intact. A lot of the pieces in front of him were the same ones hanging in his closet back in his time.

He pulled a light blue shirt and dark grey slacks off their hangers, then looked back at Granger and motioned for her to leave. She smirked back at him. "I've seen you change plenty of times."

"Okay, how about you take your clothes off too then?"

She crossed her arms. "It's not the same. You haven't seen me naked yet." But she still turned around and he watched her for a second, then pulled his wand out of his robes.

" _Obscuro!"_

"Hey!" Granger jumped and Draco smirked when he saw a grey blindfold appear over her eyes. "I wasn't going to peek, God, you're so obnoxious."

He turned back to the closet and began changing in peace.

"Is this your first time seeing my friends in the future?" she asked and he turned and saw she hadn't tried to remove the blindfold.

"Yeah," he finished fastening his belt, then pulled the shirt on.

"Ok," she sighed heavily. "You still call everyone by their surnames, except for Ginny. You call her Ginerva, which she hates, and she calls you ferret, which you hate. And Teddy - he'll be the blue-haired kid. You call him cousin."

"What?" Draco walked to the mirror and inspected his appearance, then waved his wand and vanished her blindfold.

She rolled her eyes when she saw him, then kept talking. "Teddy is the son of Lupin and Tonks. Tonks' mother was Andromeda Black, your estranged aunt. Don't call her by her surname, call her Andromeda."

"Okay, surnames except for Ginerva, my cousin, and Andromeda," he repeated back as he tried to straighten his collar.

"And try to remember to call me Hermione, though it's not the end of the world if you slip up."

He nodded, then dropped his hands in frustration. "What's wrong with this collar?"

She smiled, then approached him and started trying to straighten the collar, using her wand to cast an ironing charm. "We never figured out how to iron your shirts as well as the house elves," she mumbled as she tried another spell. Draco noticed how close she was as he caught a whiff of something floral.

He leaned back, suddenly uneasy. "And why don't I just summon a house elf right now to fix it?"

She paused and narrowed her eyes at him. "Because you know how much I'd hate that." She finally finished and rubbed her palms against his chest, then seemed to realize what she was doing and stepped back awkwardly.

"Uh - anyway, you don't have house elves doing your laundry in this time. You made a promise, years ago, that you would no longer order the Malfoy elves to do housework for you. But I know you have some deal with Daphne to have one the Greengrass elves stop by about once a month." She sighed and shook her head. "I assume you're paying them and honestly, I don't want to know the details."

Draco didn't know what to say. He looked back in the mirror and the shirt looked better. Though she was right, it was not as nice as when the house elves did it. She reached into a drawer and pulled something out, then handed it to him. "Perfectly ironed shirts was one of the things you gave up to be with me."

Draco looked down and saw she was holding a wedding band out to him. He realized then she expected him to put it on. He hesitated as he considered what he was doing. He was going to go out in public and try to pass himself off as her husband. And it hadn't occurred to him, until now, to argue about it.

She'd assumed from the start he would go with her and for some reason he'd gone along with it. Was he okay with this? A part of him was extremely curious to see Potter and her friends and how they behaved around him. And this still didn't have to become his reality, he reminded himself. He was still in control.

She was watching him and he saw her relax slightly when he took the ring out of her hand and slipped it on. "What else did I give up to be with you?" The photograph of his father sneering in the background on their wedding day came to his mind.

She shook her head and looked down before responding. "You'll see." When she looked back up at him he saw she was nervous. "Uh - thank you," she said eventually, "for not being difficult. I know in your time you still hate me."

Before Draco had a chance to respond a voice yelled from downstairs. "Can you two hurry up? We're all waiting for you to start this bloody egg hunt."

Draco recognized the Weasel's voice and a grin came across his face. He was sure the Weasel must hate him being with Granger. Had Draco been the reason they'd split up? He hoped so. He still was unsure how he felt about Granger, but he _knew_ he didn't like Weasley.

As if sensing his thoughts, she snapped, "Try not to be overly cruel. You mostly like these people, in this time. And if something slips, try to pass it off as sarcasm."

When they got downstairs Weasley was petting the cat. The cat scowled when it saw Draco and jumped off the couch and Draco scowled back before looking over at Weasley. He looked very tired, but otherwise the same as Draco remembered. He gave Granger a quick hug, then nodded politely at Draco. Draco had hoped for more of a confrontation.

"How's Hugo?" Granger asked.

Weasley sighed heavily, "Still sick. Mum is convinced it's nothing serious, but you know how Parvati can be. I tried to get her to join us today and leave Hugo with Mum, but she refuses to let him out of her sight until he's made a full recovery."

"Are you worried about it?"

Weasley shook his head. "I'm with Mum, but I know better than to say so," he shot Draco a knowing grin which Draco sneered at. Weasley's expression turned to confusion and Granger cut in quickly.

"Let's go. We shouldn't make the boys wait any longer." She pushed Weasley toward the fireplace and turned back and glared at Draco and hissed, "Be nice."

Draco was attacked almost as soon as he stepped out of the fire into the sitting room of an unfamiliar house. A small, black-haired toddler was wrapped around his legs and a blue-haired boy was shouting at him.

"You have to come see what I got in my Easter basket! It's new dragon figurines! And a snitch! Not a real one, since Gran said I'd lose it, but one meant for kids. You need to tell me if it's like the one you had growing up." The kid was pulling his hand now and trying to get Draco to follow him out of the room, but luckily Potter stepped in to rescue him.

He bent to pick up the small child on Draco's leg, then gave Draco a pat on the shoulder before turning to the other kid. "We're looking for eggs first, Teddy. Then you can show Draco your new toys. Deal?"

"Fine," the blue-haired kid skipped to the other end of the room and picked up an Easter basket while Draco took the time to study his surroundings. Granger had joined Weasley and she-Weasley on the other side of the room and was smiling encouragingly at him. Then, a few paces away was a witch that looked remarkably like Bellatrix, but without the obvious taint of evil and madness. She was talking to Longbottom and Hannah Abbott.

They all nodded toward him in greeting and he straightened his spine and took a deep breath. He wasn't sure he was ready for all this.

The blue-haired kid was back and Draco was relieved. The kid seemed to like him a lot, and it wouldn't be a bad idea to stay with him today. The adults would be more likely to notice something was off with this Draco than the kid, he reasoned.

"The blue eggs are all for James, Teddy. Yours are much harder to find." Potter said in a mock menacing tone. Draco scanned the room and saw a few blue eggs out in plain sight but couldn't see any others. His cousin nodded back at Potter, then ran out of the room to start his search.

A few moments later he popped his head back in, "Are you coming, Draco?"

Draco shrugged, then went to follow him.

"No cheating, Malfoy," Potter called behind him.

Draco shook his head, still at a loss for words. He'd expected to be on the sidelines once he came here, not the center of attention, like this. Granger hadn't prepared him enough for what he was walking into and he wondered then if that had been on purpose.

He accompanied Teddy around the house and garden until he had a basket full of eggs, then helped himself to several pieces of candy that were hidden inside. After finding all the eggs, Teddy pulled Draco into a spare bedroom filled with toys and started showing off a new set of dragon figurines.

After a while, Andromeda came into the room and started up a conversation with Draco. He tried to keep it short and vague, but sensed his aunt had picked up on his uneasiness.

"Teddy, why don't you let your cousin take a break? He must be hungry."

"Okay, but you're going to watch me fly later, right?"

"Yeah, sure thing, uh- cousin." Draco rushed out of the room, glad to be away from his aunt who looked way too similar to Bellatrix. He took a deep breath before going back downstairs to join the rest of the group.

Granger was talking to Potter while everyone else played on the floor with the toddler. Draco went to Granger's side and when she saw him she smiled, then handed him a plate of food. "I was going to bring this up to you, here."

"Thanks for being a good sport," Potter said and Draco nodded back at him, studying the food on the plate before finally taking a bite of a bun. He was glad to find it tasted better than it looked.

Granger and Potter continued their conversation about some new case the Auror office was working on while Draco listened quietly, a little surprised that Potter was discussing sensitive information in front of him. He never thought the day would come when Potter would trust him with anything. And he hadn't scowled at Draco once today. No one had, not even Weasley.

When Teddy decided Draco had had enough time to eat, he dragged him outside and Draco left reluctantly. He'd preferred being next to Granger, since he knew what to expect with her, but knew it was probably safer to spend his time with the kid. And his cousin was fun, he admitted. He seemed to think the world of Draco and hung on his every word.

He settled in a comfortable chair in the garden and watched Teddy fly around in pursuit of an over-large snitch. He could tell the garden had been enlarged to give him enough room to fly and was impressed by the spell-work and wondered if Granger had been the one to do it.

She-Weasley joined him a few moments later, holding her sleeping son. She waved at Teddy, then turned to Draco. "We all seem to be aging, and here you are, getting younger." He couldn't tell by her look if she knew about his time jumping, so he just shrugged in response. He should have asked Granger.

"How are you, ferret?"

"As well as I can be, sitting here next to you, Ginerva."

She smirked, but before she could say more the boy started to stir in her arms.

She tried to shush him back to sleep. "I really should put him down. I'll be right back."

She left and was soon replaced by Potter, who sat next to Draco and watched Teddy fly around for a while, occasionally shouting out words of encouragement.

Eventually, he turned to Draco and said in a low voice, "He's been asking more about the war," he cocked his head toward Teddy. "I still think he's too young for all the details, but Andromeda wants to start telling him little bits here and there, so he doesn't have to take it in all at once."

Potter sighed, then looked back at Teddy, who had just caught the snitch and was releasing it again. Draco nodded, unsure what he was supposed to say.

"I guess, I don't know. I wanted to warn you. I'm not sure how you want to go about revealing your role to him. He- well, he adores you. But he'll find out the truth, eventually. We can - well, I'll give you time to think about it. We can work out a plan later."

Draco's heart dropped. He felt bad for his future self. He didn't want to have to sit this kid down and explain what a Death Eater was, and why he had decided to become one.

"Oh, and about your father," Potter continued. Draco perked up. "I started looking into him, but haven't found anything illegal yet-"

"You need to mind your fucking business, Potter," Draco snapped before he could catch himself.

Potter looked back at him alarmed, then leaned in and studied his face. "Wait - you're not from this time…"

"You know?"

Potter nodded. "I can never tell as quickly as Hermione. But yeah, I know about your - uh - condition. When are you from?"

"December 2000."

"Wow, early. You and Hermione aren't even friends yet. This must be so weird."

"Yeah, it's a bit strange," Draco admitted reluctantly.

Just then, Andromeda came to collect Teddy. Potter and Draco went back inside and wished the two farewell. Granger came to Draco's side and leaned in and whispered, "Are you okay? Do you want to go?"

Draco shook his head and she beamed back at him, then pulled him to the couch and continued her previous conversation with Longbottom about obscure plants. Draco tried to follow along, but the topic was over his head. He'd never been very interested in Herbology.

He focused back on Potter who was talking to his wife and he could see her watching him, then she winked when she saw Draco looking at her. Well, there was the answer to his previous question. Both Potters certainly knew about his time jumping.

Abbott came to join Granger and Longbottom's conversation and Granger moved closer to Draco to accommodate her on the couch. She leaned against him easily for a few moments and Draco stayed completely still, trying his best not to smell her again. It was her shampoo that smelled of flowers, he'd decided, then he started breathing through his mouth.

After a few minutes he felt her stiffen, then shift away from him. "Sorry," she whispered before turning back to Longbottom.

An hour later, Granger announced it was time for them to go back home. She noticed Draco's hesitation in front of the fireplace and stepped ahead of him, speaking their address clearly before stepping into the green flames.

Draco followed close behind her and stepped out into the familiar sitting room of their home.

When she saw him she smiled widely, "That was perfect, thank you."

He nodded, unsure what to say. He figured it was the least he could do, since in his last time jump he'd talked about the war during her honeymoon.

Draco looked down at his hands and saw the wedding ring there. He pulled it off his finger and handed it back to her. "The last time I saw you, I ruined your honeymoon. Did I- uh - make it up to you?"

Granger took the ring and pocketed it, then smiled back at him. "You did. But that night with you," she pointed at him and he thought she meant to distinguish his current self from her husband, "was really special for me. Thank you for sharing. I feel like I got to know you a lot better."

Draco nodded, suddenly remembering his concern from the end of that night. He'd been worried about the fights his future self and Granger would get into later in their marriage. But this date was later than those, so they must have made up.

"What were we fighting about a few months ago?"

"You've traveled to some of that time already?"

"I bet I was the cause of a lot of that tension," Draco admitted.

She nodded and her eyes turned sad. "This - the time jumping - it gets hard. But, well, I'm not really supposed to tell you details about the future."

They regarded each other in silence for a few moments, then she leaned in and placed a small kiss on his cheek before turning to leave. "Thanks again. I'll leave you alone for a bit. I know today was probably a lot."

When she reached the doorway he called to her, having finally worked up the courage to ask the question that had been on his mind all day.

"We don't have kids."

She paused and turned her head slightly so he could only see the side of her face. "We don't?"

"Uh, I was asking you."

She sighed and rubbed her hand along the wooden frame and when she spoke again she was still talking to the wall and not to him. "You're the one who's been to the future." She sounded disappointed and Draco decided it was best to drop this topic, this was obviously a sore subject for some reason.

She finally turned back to him and smiled sadly, then said, "Happy Easter, Draco," before turning to leave.

"Happy Easter, Hermione," he said under his breath after she left the room. Draco sunk into the couch and took a deep breath, then started to replay the events of the day. While he was thinking, he remembered something her future self had said to him before one of their fights.

_The last time you came from the past you accompanied me to the Potter's for Easter, then apologized for ruining my honeymoon. I guess I was bound to get a sour Draco this time._

"Shit," Draco muttered as he dropped his head into his hands. It was all connected. No matter how much he tried to deny it, he was bouncing around in time on a continuous timeline, not travelling forward to some alternate reality.

 _But is this future so bad?_ A small voice in his mind asked. And he admitted, briefly, as he thought back on the events of the day, that the place his timeline was marching toward wasn't as bad as it could be.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Draco's beginning to warm up to this whole situation...
> 
> Many thanks to my beta reader Lancashire Witch! She did a deep dive in this chapter on the history of Easter and we had some fun trying to figure out how wizards would celebrate the holiday. 
> 
> You can follow me over on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson to see aesthetics and a few behind the scenes drabbles for each chapter. Thanks so much for reading, please let me know what you think.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

_It was a question I had worn on my lips for days- like a loose thread on my favorite sweater I couldn't resist pulling- despite knowing it could all unravel around me._

" _Do you love me?" I ask._

_You look up from your coffee startled, your expression frozen. And in your hesitation, I found my answer._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: January 2001 / Draco's Time: June 2004_

* * *

**Astoria Greengrass**

Astoria was on Holiday in Switzerland with her sister, Draco, Blaise, and Theo. The whole trip had been Blaise's idea and with minimal pleading on her part, Draco had agreed to join the group and even rented a gorgeous ski chalet for them.

She wondered where he'd found one vacant on such short notice, but figured with enough gold, any place could suddenly become available. Did he ever resent always being the one to pay for everything? This was something she'd never thought to ask him. And even if she did, she didn't think he'd answer honestly.

Though she suspected he didn't care, or even notice. The Malfoys were rumored to have so much money that Draco could probably afford to buy this place outright without a second of hesitation. But that wasn't why she was with him; though Astoria knew a lot of people thought so, her parents included.

She sighed and turned the page of the _Witch Weekly_ magazine she was skimming. Daphne stormed into the room then and began pacing in front of the large fireplace. "If Blaise brings some slag home tonight I might hex her."

"Why her? Shouldn't you hex him?"

"Good point, I'll hex both of them."

Astoria sighed and put down her magazine. "You need to tell him how you feel; I don't think he knows."

"I know, but admitting I love him? That would be a disaster," Daphne finally stopped pacing and stood still, staring into the fire. "I'll just- get over it one day."

"Will you? It's been what-? Five years? You haven't gotten over him yet."

"Shut up," Daphne turned back to Astoria and went to join her on the couch.

"Well, at least stop sleeping with him whenever he decides he wants you again," Astoria said matter-of-factly.

"I told you to drop it, Stori," Daphne narrowed her eyes and Astoria shrugged, then sighed heavily.

"We can talk about my pathetic love life instead." She pulled her legs up under her and turned to face her sister.

"What do you mean? What's the matter now?"

"I don't know."

"It's not the Granger thing, right? Because I really don't think that's anything to be worried about. He was probably just trying to make amends, like he did with Potter a few years ago."

"Yeah, that's what he said, but- well, he only admitted to it when forced. And he never told me about Potter, I only know that because you told me. And-" Astoria cut off and looked away from Daphne.

"What?"

"I think he tried to talk to me about it, but I screwed it up, then he completely shut down." Astoria was embarrassed to admit it. But when she thought back on that conversation she realized she'd finally been close to getting what she said she'd wanted from Draco, but had been too stupid at the time to realize what was going on.

"What happened?"

"He was talking about nightmares, but he seemed angry and annoyed and I thought he was trying to point out I hadn't been through what he had, but I think he was trying to admit something to me and I bungled it. I -" she cut off again and dipped her head. "Sometimes, I think I'm the wrong person for him. Like he needs something I can't offer."

"No, that's a good sign Stori," Daphne placed a comforting hand on her leg. "At least he's trying. It will get better, I'm sure of it."

"I thought it would be thrilling trying to get him to open up. He's smart and complicated and I was intrigued by the challenge. He's so much more interesting than any of the wizards from my year. But...maybe I'm not cut-out for the complication that is Draco Malfoy."

"Hang in there, I think it will get better. I've been friends with him almost my whole life and I feel like I know about a quarter of him, so it's not just you Stori. But he likes you, and if you give it time, I think you two will figure it out."

"Yeah," Astoria sighed, then they both heard the front door open. The guys must be back from their trip to the pub in town. She could see Daphne straining her ears and guessed she was listening for a female voice.

A few moments later Blaise and Theo appeared in the room and Astoria was glad to see that Blaise was alone. "Where's Draco?"

Theo shrugged, "He said he wasn't feeling well."

Astoria frowned, then stood to go find him. One good thing about Draco paying for the chalet was that they got the best room in the house. "Draco," the room appeared empty when she walked in, then she saw that he was outside, leaning against the balcony.

She approached slowly and cast a warming charm on herself when she got to the open door. What was Draco doing outside in the cold? If he wasn't feeling well shouldn't he be in bed? She could tell he hadn't noticed her, so she cleared her throat and saw him jump.

"Oh, hey Stori," when he looked back at her he smiled, but she noticed it hadn't reached his eyes.

"Are you okay?" She went to stand next to him and started rubbing his arms with her hands but stopped when he stiffened under her touch. Something about him looked off, but she couldn't place it. And his clothes- she looked at his jumper and thought it was different than the one he'd been wearing earlier. Why would he have changed his clothes?

"Actually no," he said eventually, then he went back inside and held the door open for her to follow him. "I'm feeling ill. I'm just going to turn in for the night, if that's fine."

Astoria nodded back at him slowly. "Okay, I- well, I hope you feel better."

She left him alone, then when she reached the hall she realized what it was that was so odd about him. He never looked her in the eye. Just when she thought she was getting closer to understanding him, he went and changed the game again. Astoria didn't know how much longer she'd be able to keep up with him.

* * *

_Present Time: June 2004 / Draco's Time: January 2001_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

Draco was at a pub in a small Wizarding town in Switzerland when he time jumped again. He was annoyed he'd have to miss out on his holiday, but at least his future self wouldn't be able to seek Granger out. He just hoped he didn't do anything to compromise his relationship with Astoria.

He checked the date as soon as he appeared back in the house he was coming to know quite well. _June 4, 2004._

Draco had memorized the future timeline by now so he could be better prepared. His honeymoon had been in May of 2004 and the time he'd woken up in bed with her and first found out they were married was in August 2004. At their honeymoon she'd still been very much in love with him, but it was clear in the August jump she was upset, so he wondered what he'd encounter today. He felt a pang as he remembered her words from that night: _Do you know how much it hurts to see the person you love most in the world look at you like that?_

 _Don't feel sorry for her; you don't like her,_ he reminded himself.

The house was empty and Draco assumed Granger was at work. He settled into the main room and eyed a newspaper on the table but kept from reaching for it. He could make a killing if he used his time jumping to better place investments in his time, but something kept him from doing so.

He'd already broken enough laws in the war, hadn't he? And the investments were a fun way to pass the time, it was never about money for him.

Luckily, he didn't have long to wait before Granger apparated into the room. She smiled when she saw him and started walking toward him, then stopped when she recognized he was from a different time.

"Oh, hi. Uh - what time are you from?"

"January 2001."

Draco saw her eyes flash with disappointment. Then she nodded and turned on her heel and he heard her walking up the stairs.

After half an hour, Draco decided to go find her. Mostly out of boredom, he told himself. She was laying on her stomach on her bed, reading a huge, ancient tome, while she took notes on an odd looking pad of paper.

He crossed his arms and watched her in the doorway until she looked up at him. "Hi, uh- do you need something? There are leftovers in the fridge if you're hungry."

"I know where everything is."

"Right, okay."

"You were disappointed when I told you what time I'm from. Why?"

She shrugged, "I prefer you from later. After we've reconnected in our time."

"And when is that?"

She smiled and shook her head. "And - well, it's your birthday tomorrow and I had a party planned. We both knew you were going to miss it-" she smirked, "-you were so annoyed…" She trailed off and Draco motioned for her to continue.

"Well, I'd hoped to attend with a Draco that doesn't hate me. I suspect that's why you were cagey when I asked you details about this jump."

Draco shook his head. It would be so odd being on the other end of the time jumping when he knew what days the jumps would come and for how long. He'd even know where he was going. He thought of his future self now, annoyed in the ski chalet and missing out on his birthday party. He hoped again that he didn't do anything cruel to Astoria or his friends.

"Okay," he focused back on Granger, "so you want me to leave you alone."

She shrugged again and turned back to her book, "You can do whatever you want."

Draco continued to watch her for a few moments before asking, "Why do I always end up in this house? Do I never go out in this time?"

She sighed and closed her book, then sat up on the bed. She nodded her head toward the chair on the other side of the room and he hesitated at first, since he didn't like being ordered around, but eventually gave in and sat down when it became clear that she wasn't going to speak until he did so.

"You go out plenty," she said eventually. "Today, alone, I think you had three meetings for work. We even ate lunch together since you were close to the Ministry. I think you apparate back here whenever you're out and feel the time jump coming on."

Draco nodded. That made sense. "What do I do for work?"

She shook her head, "We don't tell each other details about our future."

"Except for the fact that we're married."

"Well, that would be hard to hide."

"What do we do? You sit in here and do work," he motioned toward the book and papers spread out on the bed, "and I-" he paused, considering, "-what? Do I read? Do I work too? Or maybe I spend most of my time away." That last option made the most sense to him, since he couldn't imagine what he'd do alone in this house with Granger.

She looked annoyed, "Is it so inconceivable to you that we might actually spend time together and talk? I only work or read alone when your past self comes forward."

"What could we possibly have to talk about?"

She crossed her arms and glared at him and he checked that his wand was close, just in case. "What? We have nothing in common."

"Because I'm a Mudblood and you're a pureblood?"

Draco shifted in his chair. "No, well- sort of. But without the slur, of course," he added in a rush.

She sighed heavily and rolled her eyes, "Yes, we grew up differently, but it turns out that didn't keep us from having similar interests. And I think we both found things we liked that we never realized we would."

"What have you found you like that you didn't expect?"

She considered for a minute before answering, "Slytherins."

Draco didn't know what to say to that, so he stayed quiet. She leaned over to one of the nightstands and pulled a book out of the drawer, then tossed it to him. He caught it and read the title: _Robinson Crusoe._

"We both like to read. That book is one of your favorites." Draco glared at it and began flipping through it. It must be from a Muggle author since he didn't recognize the name. When he looked back at Granger, she had returned to her book and he sighed, then turned to the first page.

"Why do I like this?"

She answered without looking up, but he could see she was smiling to herself, "You found his attempts to survive without the use of magic fascinating."

Draco looked back at the book, then started reading, since there wasn't anything else to do. The man in the story went against his father's wishes and went on a sea voyage. The whole thing was unbelievably primitive. Sailing at sea for months with no magic? Just to get to a foreign land? Was that the only way Muggles could travel between continents?

When he finished the first chapter, he couldn't help saying, "Please Granger, tell me Muggles don't travel like this today."

She regarded him for a moment, then burst out laughing.

"What?"

"Those were nearly the exact same words you said when you first read that in my time. But now I see it was a joke, since you're reading it here for the first time…" she trailed off, clearly replaying that conversation with the other Draco in her mind and he noticed she had a goofy smile on her face.

"Granger," he snapped her out of her thoughts and she turned back to him.

"Right. To answer your question, no - they do not. They don't go on month-long trips via ship; they fly in planes. Those flights last anywhere from one to up to fifteen hours, depending on how far they are traveling."

Draco had seen Muggle planes in the sky but didn't know what they were for. It had never occurred to him to wonder about that before. "I never considered how they'd get around without magic," he admitted.

"It's quite remarkable what they can manage without magic." Her eyes sparkled with amusement as she added, "Keep reading."

He turned back to the book, but couldn't focus, feeling eyes on him. He looked up and Granger wasn't paying attention, then he found the source sitting on the window ledge. It was that hideous cat.

"The cat hates me," he said matter-of-factly.

Granger nodded back at him, like this wasn't news to her.

"Why?"

She shrugged and said vaguely, "He prefers Ron."

Draco could tell she wasn't paying attention anymore and went back to his book, but not before giving the cat one last angry glare.

* * *

Draco spent the rest of the night and most of the next day reading the book. There were a lot of things he didn't understand, but on the whole he found it fascinating. He didn't tell Granger though, since he knew she'd look way too smug about it. But she probably knew anyway, he reasoned.

Now they were both in front of the fireplace about to go to his birthday party. She'd just handed him a wedding ring and he put it on without hesitation this time. Was it a bad sign that he was getting used to wearing it? He sighed, he could unpack that thought later.

He picked up a handful of Floo powder, then realized he didn't know where they were headed. He'd expected a repeat of Easter at the Potters' house, but maybe that was an incorrect assumption.

"Where are we going?"

"Nott Manor."

Draco started, sure he'd heard incorrectly. "Theo is hosting this?"

"Well, it's certainly not being hosted by his mother."

Draco shook his head, then wondered if Granger had always been this sarcastic, or if that was a habit she'd picked up from him. "Who will be there?"

"Theo, Blaise, and Daphne. Harry and Ginny will pop in to be polite but will likely leave after an hour since they have a new baby at home."

"And who knows about the time jumping?"

"Harry has known for a long time and Theo just found out a few weeks ago. No one else knows."

Draco nodded and turned back toward the fireplace and quickly Floo-ed to Nott Manor.

When he arrived, the drawing room looked the same as he remembered. Daphne, Theo, and Blaise were standing at the other end of the room and appeared to be the same too, though Draco quickly amended that assessment.

Blaise smiled widely and greeted Draco with a half-hug / half-handshake that Draco had no idea how to respond to. "Happy Birthday, mate!"

Draco nodded back politely, at a loss for words, then was relieved when Theo didn't try the hug move, but his smile was still uncharacteristic.

Daphne gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, which was normal behavior for the Daphne from his time, then she broke character when she hugged Granger as soon as she stepped out of the fireplace and pulled her to the edge of the room, chattering animatedly. What had happened to his friends?

He looked over at Blaise and saw him glaring at the witches but couldn't tell if the anger was directed at Daphne or Granger. He noticed Draco looking at him and shrugged, then started in on an explanation of some new campaign he was working on. Draco tried to follow along, but his mind kept slipping as he tried to rack his brain for a time he'd heard Blaise talk about real things, like work, in his time.

After a few moments, Potter and his wife appeared and Draco watched them curiously. Weasley went to join the witches and seemed to fall into the conversation easily. Potter nodded politely at all of them and Blaise barely registered his appearance, obviously used to having him around, and went back in on his explanation of a maneuver he was planning to discredit his candidate's opponent.

"What have I asked you about discussing blatantly illegal activities in my presence?" Potter cut in.

Blaise smirked. "We have differing opinions of what is considered 'blatantly illegal,' Potter."

Potter shook his head but Blaise did steer the conversation away. Draco stayed quiet, but he could tell this wasn't typical. They kept looking at him for a comment but he had no idea what to say.

He jumped when he felt a hand on his back and turned to find Granger behind him. She pulled him toward the hall and he followed her, confused.

"You're being too weird."

"What?"

"You haven't said a word since you got here. Your friends are far too clever and will figure out something is wrong if you keep acting like this. Just - have a few drinks and try to relax."

Theo came up behind them then, "Is this a different Draco?"

"See?" she swatted his arm and he pulled it back, alarmed, "I told you you were being too obvious."

"Wicked," Theo muttered, as he started to poke Draco in the chest.

"Hey," Draco jumped out of his reach.

"How old are you really?" Theo asked.

"Twenty."

"Wow, you don't look that young," he leaned closer to Draco and was studying his face. "Are you sleeping okay in your time?"

Draco scowled, but Theo looked unphased. "Wait, what's going on in your time?"

"I'm at that ski chalet with you, Blaise, and the girls." He looked warily over at Granger, wondering how she'd feel at this subtle mention of Astoria, but she didn't seem to care.

"Shit - wait - you were sick…" Theo trailed off as he tried to remember the trip. "You stayed in your room for a few days."

"Yeah, that must have been the Draco from this time."

"So fucking weird."

"We should get back," Granger cut in.

"Yeah, okay," Theo turned back to the drawing room and Draco saw he was shaking his head and muttering under his breath.

They followed a few paces behind Theo and when they got back Blaise asked Theo, "What were they doing? Shagging again?"

Draco froze and whipped his head to Potter, who was rolling his eyes. He looked at Granger then, sure she'd be upset, but she just shrugged, then Daphne cut in.

"That was too fast for a shag," then she added in an undertone to Granger, "even for Draco."

Granger smirked back at her then looked over at Draco and winked. Draco was flabbergasted. He couldn't believe everyone was joking about them shagging so casually. He knew they were married, but still.

Granger and Daphne went back to continue their conversation with Weasley as Draco tried to sort through his thoughts. Granger was incredibly comfortable with his friends. How had that happened? She actually seemed more at ease with them than she did with him and a small part of him was jealous. And for the first time, he was curious to see firsthand how she and his future self interacted with each other.

Theo started talking about his lack of success with dating and was looking warily at Draco, but he couldn't understand why. He remembered Granger's advice about drinking and decided it would be a good idea.

He went to the drink cart and started pouring himself a large glass of Fire Whiskey when Potter approached him and muttered under his breath, "It's not really your birthday today, is it?"

Draco gave him a curt nod, "What gave me away?"

"You don't scowl at me in this time."

"Hmm."

"What time are you from?"

"January 2001"

"Wow, you two aren't even friends yet. This must feel so strange"

Draco shook his head, remembering how Potter said almost these exact words at Easter, in a conversation that wouldn't happen for another year. "Yeah Potter, it does."

* * *

_Present Time: January 2001 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

Draco jumped back to the ski chalet later that night and found himself alone in the empty house. He poured himself a drink and waited in the main room for his friends to return.

They came back an hour later and Astoria found him first. "Draco, are you feeling better?"

He smiled at her and pulled her close to him and placed a kiss on her temple, "Much better, sorry about that." He felt her relax against him and let out a sigh of relief. Good, so his future self hadn't done any permanent damage.

"You going to be up for skiing tomorrow, mate?" Blaise asked as he came into the room and Draco nodded.

They all settled in around the fire but Draco noticed quickly the differences between their interactions now and in the future. Everyone was guarded in this time. They discussed current events, the weather, what they were planning to do the next day, but never went into their personal lives.

He couldn't see this Blaise opening up about difficulties at work or Theo discussing dating. And Daphne and Astoria were silent, each reading a magazine.

When had it all changed? And why? Though Draco suspected he knew the answer to that last question.

By the time everyone turned in for the night, Draco wanted nothing more than to be alone. He was annoyed when Astoria followed him into his room, then remembered she was his girlfriend and would be sharing the bed with him tonight.

He was beginning to understand why future Draco had holed himself in his room and feigned illness. It must have been painful witnessing the distance between his friends in this time after getting used to the closeness they shared in the future.

* * *

**Daphne Greengrass**

Daphne was laying on the roof of the ski chalet, looking up at the stars when she heard someone swear under their breath. She jumped up, then looked over and saw Draco crawling toward her.

"What the fuck are you doing up here?"

She shrugged and took a moment to recast the warming charm around her before laying back down. "I could ask the same of you."

"I couldn't sleep thanks to Blaise and his obnoxiously loud slag, then- well, I guessed you'd have problems sleeping too…" he trailed off and she watched him settle in next to her and cast his own warming charm.

"Blaise is an idiot," he said when he finally laid down.

"At some point, I'm the idiot for continuing to wait for him."

She looked over at Draco and saw he was nodding. "It's a fair point. Why do you keep waiting?"

She shrugged and looked back up at the stars. "I love him."

Draco was silent for a few moments, then asked, "How can you tell?"

It was the kind of question only someone who had never been in love would ask, Daphne thought to herself, and her heart fell for her sister. "He consumes all my thoughts, waking and sleeping," she eventually responded. "That- I think- is love."

She heard him snort. "Sounds more like an unhealthy obsession."

When Daphne turned to look at him again, she could tell he was thinking hard about something. Or maybe someone. "Does Astoria consume your thoughts, Draco?"

His expression was unreadable and he stayed silent. But his lack of response was enough of an answer.

Daphne sat up and looked at him closer then. There was something wrong with Draco, he was clearly struggling with something, but she had no idea what it was. "Are you all right, Draco? Separate from the fact that you don't love Astoria?"

"What do you mean?" He responded, ignoring her comment about her sister.

"You seem...off."

"I was ill, I'm feeling better now."

Daphne knew he was lying, but also knew better than to pry. Draco appreciated this about her and likely wouldn't have kept her around so long if she was incessantly nosy (like Pansy had been). That was why she was caught off guard by his next question.

"The groups of us: Blaise, Theo, you, and me. We aren't very close friends, are we?"

Daphne was startled and had no idea how to respond.

"Well, I don't think we are," he continued, "that's not really my question."

"What is your question?" she turned to face him and saw he was looking up at the sky.

"What would it take for us to become close friends who talk about, you know, real things?"

"Real things?" Daphne was confused. Draco hated confiding in anyone.

"Never mind," he stood up and brushed himself off, then started climbing back down the roof.

"Draco-"

"I'm okay Daphne, really. Don't worry about me. Are you- are you fine? Do you want me to help you down?"

"No, I'm fine. But please wait and listen to me." He stopped his descent and looked back at her expectantly.

"I care about you, and I know Blaise and Theo do too, in their own ways. If you need anything, or want to talk, we'll listen."

Draco nodded but seemed disappointed, then bid her a last farewell before disappearing from view. She sighed, then laid back down, replaying the conversation. But no matter how many different ways she dissected it, she couldn't figure out what was going on with Draco.

The only thing she knew for sure was that he was different. And though she couldn't account for the change, it was clear he was no longer interested in Astoria.

* * *

_Present Time: February 2001 / Draco's Time: July 2005_

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

Hermione was mindlessly twirling pasta around with her fork as the words on the page in front of her kept blurring. She sighed and closed the book; she wasn't in the right mood for reading - which she knew was a bad sign.

The past few months had been very hard, starting with Christmas. She'd spent the holiday in Australia with her parents and was disappointed to find her relationship with them as strained as ever. She'd hoped, with time, it would improve, but they were still on edge around her, even though she'd tried her best to avoid using magic.

Her mother used to be her best friend, but now they could barely hold a conversation. There was too much standing between them. Her father had always been quiet, letting the two women in his life run the show, but now he seemed more withdrawn than ever. She was worried her parents would never trust her again and had no idea how to begin repairing the fractured relationship.

Then, to make matters worse, Ron wasn't pulling his weight at home. It happened every so often, especially after he spent extended time at the Burrow. He'd get used to being coddled by his mother then come back home and become lazy with his chores.

Hermione hadn't taken up the fight though, still drained from the few weeks she'd spent with her parents. She'd hoped Ron would notice how down she was and offer to help more, but that hadn't happened. He _had_ noticed she was upset, and he knew it was because of her parents, he wasn't that bad of a boyfriend, but he didn't know how to help her and she didn't know how to tell him what she needed.

She sighed, then perked up when she saw a familiar figure in the window. An involuntary smile came to her face as Malfoy took the seat across from her. She'd assumed he was finished with their lunches as she hadn't seen him since the ballet before Christmas. She thought maybe he'd decided the fights with his girlfriend weren't worth the trouble.

"How are you today?" he asked with a breath-taking smile.

Hermione sat and stared at him, shaking her head slightly.

"What?"

She shrugged and looked down at her half-finished plate. "I don't think I'll ever get used to you smiling at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like - I don't know. It's weird."

"Hmm."

They sat in silence for a few moments and Hermione noticed Malfoy was studying her and wondered what he was thinking. She never knew what he was going to say or do, and she waited patiently for whatever odd thing he'd decide to say next.

She hadn't been sure how she felt about him cutting off their lunches and when she first saw him today, she hadn't been sure how she felt about having him back, but she decided now that she was happy about it; if only for a distraction from everything else going on in her life right now. Being friends with Malfoy was infuriating at times since he came and went without warning and was constantly changing his mood. But she couldn't deny that he was very distracting.

"What's wrong with you?" he eventually asked in an unfamiliarly soft voice.

As expected, he'd said something completely unexpected. "What?"

"Tell me, what's going on? You seem down."

"That's-" she cut off and looked down at her hands. "That's none of your business."

When she looked up he was looking at her concerned, then he stood up and put his coat back on. "Come on."

"What? No."

Malfoy sighed and rolled his eyes, "You're so stubborn. Just stand up and come with me."

Hermione sank further into her chair. She hated being told what to do.

"I know you hate being told what to do, but believe me, you'll like this."

"Where are you taking me?"

"It's a surprise."

She stayed seated and shook her head and he sighed again, then returned to his chair.

"Fine." He crossed his arms to match her pose and smirked. "We'll just sit here and see which wins out, your curiosity or stubbornness." Then he leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head and looked back at her teasingly.

Hermione scowled back at him and she wondered to herself how he was able to read her so well, when she found it nearly impossible to read him. After a few moments, she got up from her chair and muttered, "fine" under her breath as she grabbed her coat and stormed out of the café.

She kept her gaze forward until they appeared outside, knowing she'd find an annoyingly smug expression on his face once she looked back at him. She walked to an abandoned alley and when she finally turned to face Malfoy, she could tell he was trying to keep his face blank, like he knew giving her a smug look would set her off.

"Where to?" she asked, a little annoyed but also incredibly curious.

He didn't answer, but instead held his arm out to her and as soon as she touched it, he disapparated them away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And now the Slytherins are working their way into the story. I hope you all are enjoying this so far. Many thanks to my beta reader Lancashire Witch! As you can tell by now, this is a long and complicated story and she's been helping me keep everything straight.
> 
> You can follow me over on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson to see aesthetics and a few behind the scenes drabbles for each chapter. Thanks so much for reading, please let me know what you think.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

_Without meaning to,_

_he's disarmed me,_

_with kisses that sooth_

_and alarm me._

_In arms that terrify_

_and calm me._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: February 2001 / Draco's Time: July 2005_

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

A moment later they appeared in the middle of a gorgeous library. Hermione felt she couldn't whip her head around fast enough to take in the room. The stunning spiral staircase in the middle, the tall windows, the beautiful wood paneling. And above all else, the countless books. She could spend weeks there and never get bored.

When she looked back at Malfoy, he was watching her with an amused and almost caring expression.

"This is incredible, where are we?" she froze then, as she considered one possible location.

"No," he said quickly, guessing her thoughts yet again. "I wouldn't take you to Malfoy Manor without warning you first. This is the main library at Nott Manor."

"Nott Manor...as in Theodore Nott?"

"Yeah, but never call him Theodore. He'll hex you- or, well, in your case, he'd try."

She smiled in spite of herself at the unexpected compliment, then went back to examining the bookshelves. "So Theo Nott is a friend of yours? I never saw you two together in school."

"He was a bit of a loner at Hogwarts. But we shared a dorm and got closer after school."

"And where is he now?" But Hermione's eye was caught by a familiar book on ancient pureblood laws she'd only ever heard mention of before and she barely heard Malfoy's response.

She reached out to the book then paused, unsure if she was allowed to touch them. She looked at Malfoy and he nodded back at her, smirking, then repeated his answer to her previous question. "He's at work."

"Oh," Hermione paused with her hand on the book. It didn't occur to her that someone as obviously rich as Nott would have a job. She knew Malfoy didn't, or, well-not a real one. "What does he do?"

"He works at the Ministry. In Magical Games and Sports."

"Huh…"

"What?"

She turned back to the book and finally took it off the shelf, "Nothing."

"You were going to say something else."

She sighed and walked over to a nearby table and set the large book down. "I was just wondering why he needed a job if he lived in a place like this," she motioned around the room. "He obviously doesn't need the money."

Malfoy shrugged. "It gives him something to do. Otherwise he'd just waste away here, alone, in this huge house." She could tell he was a little bitter when he said this, but couldn't imagine why.

"What-" she stopped herself. It was probably inappropriate to ask him such a personal question.

"Go ahead."

"Well, you seem...bitter, I was wondering why."

"I'm just jealous. I can't get a proper job with this," he wrapped his right hand around the forearm that she knew contained his dark mark.

"And that's something you'd want? A real job?"

"Of course."

"But, you do work. With your father. Influencing politics."

"Huh, sure."

"Do you not like it?" She'd asked him this before, but wondered if he would remember.

He answered as if she hadn't asked before, but his response was almost the same. He explained he preferred managing his family's investments but that his father didn't approve of him working on it. At the end, he admitted he was doing it anyway, against his father's wishes. That last part of his explanation was different from before.

"It sounds rather boring," Hermione admitted and was met with a laugh.

"Says the witch holding a book on arcane pureblood laws." He shook his head and added, "It's not boring when you use Astrology paired with Arithmancy to predict the best investments." Hermione saw his face had lit up. "It's like a giant puzzle mixed with a game of chess, and- well - luck."

"Seems complicated."

"It is - you'd love it. I'll show you sometime." He said this as confidently as if they had a meeting set already to go through it. Hermione had no idea where Malfoy got his confidence and secretly wished he could bottle it up and give her some.

She went back to her book and flipped through it, then reluctantly put it back on the shelf and went to the other end of the room. She paused when she saw a table piled with notes and open books. She peered and noticed they were all on the subject of time manipulation.

"Is Nott interested in time travel?" She saw Malfoy freeze on the other end of the room and her curiosity was instantly piqued.

He recovered quickly, but she hadn't missed his initial reaction and filed it away for later. "He just likes to read; he'll look into one subject for a while, then move on to something else."

She went back to looking at the bookshelves, but after an hour of perusing countless books, she'd returned to the first one she'd found. Malfoy noticed, of course, since he seemed to notice everything about her.

"You can take it; I promise he won't even notice it's gone."

"I couldn't."

"Then just take it as a loan, he really won't care."

"I guess I could, and I could return it to him at work-"

"No!" Malfoy cut in and Hermione whipped her head back at him, confused.

"What?"

"Give it back to me, I'll bring it back here."

"So...we're not supposed to be here," she looked around warily, as if expecting someone to show up and kick them out.

"It's not that, uh-"

"Is it because I'm Muggleborn? He wouldn't like-"

"No, of course not. He's just a private person. Take the book, Hermione, really."

She hesitated, but she'd seen mention of this book in so many other texts and had been dying to get her hands on it for ages. And she'd never been good at saying no to an interesting book. So, she decided to trust Malfoy (what a scary thought) but he hadn't led her astray yet.

When they were ready to leave, she paused before taking his arm so he could apparate her back to the Ministry. "Malfoy, uh, thanks. I needed the distraction today."

He gave her the warm smile that she was starting to get used to. "I know."

She rolled her eyes. "You don't have to be so smug about it."

* * *

_Present Time: July 2005 / Draco's Time: February 2001_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

Draco's next time jump took him back to the house in London. He wasn't surprised to find himself here, after Granger explained how his future self would apparate here, no matter where he was, once the vertigo started.

He checked the date: _July 20, 2005_. So, it was a few months after the Easter they spent with her friends. Draco was glad it wasn't a time he was fighting with her. He walked around the house and found it empty. Dusk was starting to settle in and he began turning on the lights in the rooms, waiting for Hermione to return from work.

 _Granger,_ he corrected.

He sighed and sat on the couch, then spotted a Muggle book and a newspaper on the table. He was still hesitant about reading newspapers from the future, so he picked up the book and started to read it instead.

A few moments later he heard the pop of apparition and waited for Granger to come into the room, but she didn't. He strained his ears, expecting to hear footsteps, but it was quiet. He rose from the couch and went to check, suddenly curious.

He heard a thud on his way to the hall and started walking faster and found her crouched on the ground, sobbing uncontrollably. It reminded him vividly of the first time he'd time jumped and encountered her in almost this exact position.

He rushed to her side and started checking her for injuries. Realizing while he did so how different his impulse was now than it had been that first day. He'd come to care for her…

He pushed the thought from his mind. He could consider that later.

Draco checked the reading of the diagnostic spell on his wand, but it was clear. So, she wasn't physically injured, but there was clearly something terribly wrong.

"Granger, it's me, from the past. Um, I can help you, but you have to tell me what's wrong."

She finally sat up and looked at him, then she leaned her forehead against his chest and kept crying, wringing the hem of his shirt with her hands as she did so.

"Hermione," he said now, hoping using her given name would help her snap out of whatever this was. "What happened? Can I get you someone? Maybe Potter?"

This last question finally seemed to reach her and she looked up and shook her head violently. "I don't want anyone else. Just you." She looked directly in his eyes and he knew she was talking to him then, Draco from 2001, and not about her husband. The feeling caused his chest to constrict and when she leaned her forehead back against him, he finally brought his arms up and pulled her close.

This was an extreme scenario, he reasoned. There was clearly something wrong and she needed support. And he was the only person here.

_And the only one she wants._

Almost as soon as he wrapped his arms around her she started crying harder (which he previously hadn't thought possible) and he sighed and tightened his grip. After a few moments, when her crying eased slightly, he pushed her back gently.

His eyes widened in alarm when they met hers. _Someone has died_ , he thought. That was the only explanation for the level of grief he saw there. Who was it? One of her friends? Her parents? He knew nothing about them or their health.

He should go to Potter. He knew how to get there, and Potter knew about the time jumping, so he would understand why Draco wasn't equipped to help her. And he'd surely want to take care of his friend.

_She doesn't want Potter. She wants you._

Granger lifted her hands and linked them behind his neck, then she finally seemed to find her voice. "I can tell by the way you're looking at me that you don't love me, or even like me yet in your time. But can you pretend? I need you to pretend."

Draco stood still, unsure how to respond to such a request.

"I need you to love me right now, Draco."

"What happened?" he whispered.

She shook her head, then burrowed back into him, this time settling into the crook of his neck and he could smell her floral shampoo. He stroked her hair for a few minutes.

"Are you sure you don't want me to get Potter? Or his wife?"

"I'm sure," he could feel her breath on his neck.

When his knees became sore, he shifted and she clutched his back almost painfully.

"I'm not leaving you, Hermione," he rushed to reassure her, "but- we should move from the floor."

She sat back and seemed to notice, just then, where they were, then nodded and let him pull her to her feet and lead them back into the main room. Almost as soon as he sat on the couch she climbed into his lap and laid her head on his chest.

He sighed and reminded himself this was a special case and if she wasn't completely devastated, he wouldn't be allowing this. Then he returned to stroking her hair. He tried a few more times to get her to tell him what was wrong, but she remained silent and pretended not to hear each time he asked.

An hour later, she'd fallen asleep on him and he realized this was the second time she'd done so. He wondered if this was a regular occurrence in their life.

He assessed his options and decided it was probably best to get her into bed. He pulled her close so he could get a better grip on her, then carefully stood up. When he was halfway up the stairs, he realized a feather-light charm might have been a good idea, but she wasn't very heavy.

He gently placed her on her side of the bed, then started to pull the covers over her. She stirred when the blanket reached her chin and reached up and put her hand behind Draco's neck and pulled him down to her.

She placed a chaste kiss on the side of his mouth, then whispered, "Thank you."

He nodded, then stood to leave, but she added then in a louder voice, "I love you."

"No," he shook his head, "you love _him."_ The bitterness in his tone surprised him.

"I love you no matter the time, Draco," she said sleepily. He looked back at her but her eyes were closed and after another minute she was asleep again.

He went downstairs and paced, then returned to the room after a while. She was still asleep and the cat was laying on the other side of the bed, watching her. She had the cat for company, he reasoned, so he could leave her alone.

But he didn't. He settled in the chair where he'd read that Muggle book a few time jumps before and watched her sleep.

* * *

_Present Time: August 2005 / Draco's Time: March 2001_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

Draco never found out what was wrong with Hermione in that last time jump. He'd fallen asleep in her room and been jolted awake once he reappeared in the sitting room of his present day flat. He'd been relieved to be back and hoped the Draco from her time could give her the support she needed.

Then he'd taken a long shower, trying to scrub away the feeling of her in his arms, but that night as he lay in bed, he was able to recall it easily. Her warm breath tickling his neck, the feel of her weight in his lap, and how it felt to rub his fingers through her soft curls.

_Stop. That was a one time thing because she was so sad._

He'd tried not to think about her again, but occasionally over the next month he'd stop and guess what could have made her so upset. When he checked his timeline, he saw he'd made two jumps to the future after that day. One was when he'd walked around Muggle London for a few hours, and the second was that first jump he'd made, when she'd also been crying. That wasn't a good sign.

But he decided he didn't want to know the details and tried to push the strange event from his mind. It was unnatural knowing your future.

 _Her future,_ he corrected.

_Isn't it the same thing?_

_Stop!_

Draco was going mad. And to make matters worse, his relationship with Astoria was more strained than ever before. She had become needier and he knew it was because she felt him pulling away. But he had no idea how to behave around her.

A part of him felt like he was cheating on her with Granger, no matter how many times he told himself he didn't like her, he obviously cared for her in some way. He'd even gone along pretending to be married to her a few times now.

And the last time jump had changed something. He'd had a choice to leave her alone, he reasoned later, though it hadn't felt like it at the time. He could have left her, like he did in the first jump, or he could have gone for one of her friends. But he'd stayed. And not only stayed - but comforted her, tucked her into bed and then remained in the room with her, so he could be there in case she woke up.

He didn't know exactly when it had happened, but his feelings for her had changed. That was a bad way to put it. He didn't have feelings for her, he reminded himself.

Regardless, it all came to the same conclusion: Draco couldn't propose to Astoria while he had a separate wife on the side, even if she was technically not _his_ wife. But when would it be time to propose to Astoria? This wasn't going to stop, was it?

_Not if you don't continue your research._

Draco had reached a dead end in his time travel research and hadn't been back to Nott Manor in months. But if he was serious about ending the time jumping, he knew he could work harder. He hadn't exhausted all his options yet. There was still his father to consider.

But he'd only approach him as a last resort. He hated upsetting his father and admitting to a relationship with a Muggleborn - in any form, would certainly do that.

When Draco appeared back in the house in London, he was immediately assaulted by loud voices and flashing lights. He threw himself to the ground, then sighed when he saw the source of the noise was one of those Muggle boxes. He muttered _Silencio,_ then _Finite Incantatem_ , but neither of those worked and the box continued to blare loudly. Then he approached and tried every button on the side until he found one that finally silenced the damned object.

He sighed and looked around then knew immediately something was very wrong. The room was littered with empty bottles, crumpled newspapers, and empty food containers. He wasn't surprised when his _Hominem Revelio_ charm revealed nothing. There was no way Granger would allow this mess.

Even he was disgusted by it and he started vanishing piles of rubbish with his wand. After the room looked a little better, he checked the date: _August 2, 2005._ His stomach flipped. It was only a few weeks after his last time jump. He could find out who had died.

He checked the rest of the house and came to the conclusion that Granger had been gone for a while. The cat was gone, and so were most of her items from the bathroom. And his future self was obviously depressed about it, watching the Muggle box and drinking, not even bothering to clear the rubbish piling around him.

Was it all related to what she'd been crying about? Had they broken up? His heart dropped at the thought.

_Stop it, this isn't your problem._

So much for her loving him no matter what. He knew that had sounded too good to be true. As he left her bedroom his eye caught their wedding photo again and he picked it up and studied it again. She looked incredible, he was finally able to admit that now, at least in his head.

He looked good too, in a nice set of grey dress robes. But what made him look remarkable was the expression of complete joy on his face, like he couldn't imagine his luck at having ended up married to Hermione Granger.

 _But how did you end up with her?_ Draco wondered for the thousandth time. He remembered the photo album then. She'd given it to him the same night he'd first seen this photo, but he hadn't wanted to see any of the pictures from the beginning of their relationship at the time.

He summoned it now, then settled back into the chair he'd occupied just weeks before and opened to the first page in the book. There was a photo of him and Granger in some type of library that he didn't recognize, sitting at a table surrounded by books. Draco squinted and tried to read one of the titles, then almost dropped the photo album.

They were researching time. Shit. He told her. And then she'd helped him research the subject. Draco pulled the photo out of the book and turned it around and sighed when he saw the scribble on the back: _2001._ No month. He turned the photo back over and studied it further.

They were both reading, but would look up from their book and glance at each other occasionally, then look back when they saw the other person looking at them. Then, at the end of the loop, they both looked up annoyed at whoever had taken the photo.

Draco stuck the photo back in the book, then moved on to the next page. Granger and he were in a museum in Paris. He recognized it but couldn't recall the name. She was studying a piece of art and leaning in, careful not to get too close. Draco was standing back a few paces watching her with a soft smile.

Granger moved on to a new painting, but he kept his gaze trained on her, never once looking up to take in the beautiful art that surrounded him.

Draco skipped over the next few pages until he got back to their wedding. He looked again for the photo with his father and frowned at his hateful glare. He searched for his mother then and found her in the background of a different photo, but he couldn't see her face.

On the next page he encountered photos from their honeymoon. His heart stopped when he reached one of them facing each other with the gorgeous ocean behind them. They were staring into each other's eyes, completely oblivious to the camera or the breathtaking vista behind them. They only had eyes for each other.

Draco felt awkward looking at it, like he was invading an intimate moment between two strangers. But he couldn't look away for some reason. They stared at each other completely still for a few seconds, then Draco reached his hand to her face and pushed a curl behind her ear. Then he trailed his hand along her jaw to her chin, where he paused to smile before lifting her face and kissing her softly.

This photo was taken after he'd admitted everything he'd done in the war. But she was still looking at him as lovingly as she had been at their wedding, before she'd known.

Draco closed the book and sighed. No pictures of him and Astoria looked like this. Even if he didn't want to end up with Granger, he had to admit to himself that Astoria wasn't the right witch for him. He deserved someone he loved, like this Draco loved Granger, didn't he?

But he was hesitant to let Astoria go. She represented the life he thought he wanted for himself. To be an influential member in pureblood society, take after his father, be a dutiful son. Did he not want those things anymore?

Draco opened the book again, mostly to distract himself from these dangerous thoughts, and was surprised to find a picture of a scene he recognized. It was from his 24th birthday at Theo's house and he remembered then Daphne had called one of Theo's house-elves in to take this photo right before everyone left.

He noticed immediately that he didn't fit in the photo. He was stiff, glancing warily around him while everyone else seemed to be smiling at some shared joke. Also, he and Granger weren't touching. She was standing between him and Theo in the photo, but was leaning closer to Theo than him. Draco glared at the image for a while before finally closing the book for good.

He needed a drink. He put the photo album on the bed, then started looking around for another bottle of whiskey, but it seemed like future Draco had drunk it all. He found a bottle of wine in the kitchen and figured that would have to do. He took a long gulp, not even bothering to conjure a glass, then he imagined his mother's horrified expression if she could see him now.

"Sometime this year, I will start working with Granger to research the time jumping." Draco said aloud and turned the words around in his mind. How did he feel about this? He wasn't sure.

And how did it start? He thought he knew that part. His future self was obviously seeking her out every time he went to the past. Maybe they'd formed some type of friendship by now. He knew it wasn't much more than that, since she was still dating the Weasel. He'd seen a photo of them in one of Astoria's gossip magazines just a few weeks ago.

So, his future self must confide in her about the time travel, then Granger must seek Draco out in their own time. He wondered if his future self told her on purpose or if he'd been forced to after slipping up somehow.

The real question was, what would Draco do when Granger showed up wanting to help him fix the time travel? Would he along with it knowing it could lead to them getting married? Did he even have a choice, or had it already happened in a way?

_Yes, I have a choice. This is still my life!_

Draco took another swig of wine. Yes, he reasoned, he could deny her, if he wanted to. But did he want to? He'd thought this future wasn't so bad, but then again, that was before these last two jumps. And there was still his father to consider.

Did his future self so longer care what his parents thought of him? Or did his love for Hermione simply outweigh those concerns? He couldn't imagine loving anyone more than he loved his parents. He remembered that picture of them on the beach then.

He wondered if his future self still felt the same way about Hermione, given whatever conflict was going on in this time. Where was that Draco now? Was he with Hermione confessing about the time jumping? How would she react?

No, he reasoned, remembering the state he'd found the house in. His future self was likely drunk and in no condition to talk to other people right now. He was probably just sleeping it off in his flat.

* * *

_Present Time: March 2001 / Draco's Time: August 2005_

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

A few weeks after her trip to the library at Nott Manor, Hermione found herself at the top floor of a nice apartment building, second guessing her decision to come directly to Malfoy's flat to return the book she'd borrowed.

She'd brought the book with her to the café but he hadn't shown up and she was sick of carrying it around. Also, a part of her wanted to see where he lived. The week after he'd first apologized to her she'd read through his file and found the Auror reports from his bi-annual check-ins. That's when she'd seen that he didn't live at the Malfoy Manor anymore, but in a flat close to Harry's house.

A few days before she'd contemplated going to find that file and look up the address, then decided against it, reasoning that it would be a big invasion of his privacy. Her resolve wavered by the end of the day and she stopped by the archives and jotted down the address before heading home, reasoning she didn't have to use it.

But here she was a few days later, standing outside his door. A part of her wanted to know something personal about him since he seemed to be able read her like a book. It might give her a bit of an edge in their future interactions.

She took a deep breath then knocked on the door. But there was no answer. Okay, well, he was out. She turned to leave when she heard a thump inside, like someone falling. Had she woken him up? She checked her watch. It was 11am on a Saturday, who slept in that late?

When he finally opened the door, she stepped back and hitched her breath, alarmed at his appearance. His clothes were disheveled, there was a few days' stubble on his face, and he had deep blue bags under his eyes. She'd never seen Malfoy looking so unkempt.

"Hermione." He was looking at her like he didn't think she was real. She took another step backward.

"Uh, hi. I came to return this," she held the book out for him, but he ignored it and kept his eyes trained on her face.

"You look awful Malfoy. Are you okay?" She could smell stale alcohol wafting from him and took a second to scan his appearance again. She started when she saw a wedding ring on his finger. When did he get married? Was getting married a drunken mistake? Or was he drinking because he didn't want to be married? She thought she would have seen the wedding announcement in the paper, and surely he would have mentioned an engagement before now.

"Do you want to come in?" His voice was rough and he moved into his flat and held the door open for her, looking back at her hopefully.

She took a deep breath, then followed him inside as she repeated her earlier question, "Really, are you okay?"

When she turned back to face him he was looking at her hungrily and she looked away, a little embarrassed, then busied herself by placing the book carefully on a side table. She began scanning the room, just for something else to do while he stared at her, but before she knew it he was on top of her.

He slammed her against the wall, but had placed his hand behind her first so she didn't bang her head. Then his mouth was on hers and he was kissing her desperately. His lips were hard and demanding and she was frozen in place, completely shocked and unsure what to do.

Then he moved his hand from behind her head toward her jaw and tilted her face up so he could deepen the kiss. It softened then into something more pleasant and she moved her hands to his shoulders reflexively. When he began to slip his tongue into her mouth she finally realized what they were doing and pushed him away, forcefully.

"Malfoy! What are you doing?"

He looked back at her confused, then realization came over him and his expression turned contrite. "Hermione, I-"

He cut off, as if unsure what to stay, then began to approach her again, but she moved off the wall and slipped away from him. He didn't turn toward her, but instead bent his head against the wall in front of him and muttered under his breath, "I'm sorry."

She let herself out of his flat and ran down the stairs, stopping at the bottom to catch her breath. She peered up the staircase and strained her ears, then relaxed when she confirmed he wasn't following her. What the hell was that?

What was wrong with him? Why did he have a wedding ring on? Why had he kissed her? And most importantly, why had she waited so long to push him away?

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is my favorite chapter so far. Things are happening...!
> 
> Many thanks to my beta reader Lancashire Witch for keeping my story from sounding overly American. You can follow me over on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson to see aesthetics and a few behind the scenes drabbles for each chapter.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

_There was a man who I once knew,_

_for me there was no other._

_The closer to loving me he grew,_

_the more he would grow further._

_I tried to love him as his friend,_

_then to love him as his lover;_

_but he never loved me in the end -_

_his heart was for another._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: April 2001 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

"You've missed the past few board meetings Draco, have you been unwell?"

Draco looked up from his soup and placed his spoon on the table, considering his response to his father's query. Yes, he had been unwell. His whole life had been upended by a broken time turner and a Muggleborn witch.

"I'm sorry Father, I will be sure to attend the next one. It's this Wednesday, correct?"

Lucius gave him a curt nod and Draco continued eating his soup but paused again a moment later when his father spoke again. "Is this related to your desire to manage the investments instead of pursuing politics?"

Draco let out a long sigh.

"I've told you before that we hire people to do that. You're meant to do more than move money around and study calculations."

Draco would typically nod here and remain silent, but something made him speak up this time. He blamed it on all that time spent with Gryffindors. "I'm more interested in finance than politics, Father. And the way I do it, it's different from the money managers you hire. It's more nuanced and interesting and requires more skill."

His father shook his head, disappointed. "I want so much more for you Draco, after everything I've already put you through."

"And sometimes I just want to be happy."

"Are you not happy now, Draco?" his mother asked, looking slightly offended. "What more could you want? Our family is intact, you are well set up to step into a prestigious career serving on countless boards and influencing all the major political decisions of the day, and you have a lovely girlfriend."

"Yes, Mother," Draco nodded, avoiding her gaze and suddenly feeling guilty at the mention of Astoria. He'd decided to end it with her, as soon as he worked up the courage to do so and he was worried how his parents would take it. Especially his mother, who seemed desperate for him to get married.

Lucius started talking then about the board meeting they were to attend next week and Draco joined in, glad for the change in conversation. He declined the offer to join his father for a drink after dinner and apparated straight home, relieved to find his flat empty. He remembered Astoria mentioning that she might come over if she got out of dinner with her friends early.

It was probably better if he spent the night alone. Though, he would have to face her eventually. He just needed to work out a reason to end it with her that didn't include time travel and another woman.

There was a knock on his door then and Draco performed a quick spell to show who was on the other side. He froze when he saw it was Granger. Shit, it was happening. She must be here to discuss the time travel. So his future self had told her about it already.

He took a deep breath, then checked his reflection in the hall mirror, then berated himself for doing so before finally opening the door. Before he could say a word, she smacked him hard across the face.

"Fuck!" he pulled his hand to his stinging cheek and leaned against the door frame, slipping his wand out of his pocket with his other hand. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with _me_? You kissed me! Out of nowhere! You cannot do that. I don't care how drunk you were. I have a boyfriend who I love."

Oh Merlin, he'd kissed her. And she said he was drunk. He sighed heavily. She was obviously referring to future Draco from the last time jump. So, it turned out he hadn't been sleeping it off in his flat. _Fucking wanker._

She was glaring at him, her eyes alight with anger, and he stepped back, worried she was going to slap him again. He wondered how it had come about. Had he sought her out in his drunken state? How had she responded? Had it been a good kiss?

 _Not helpful, you idiot._ Right. "Granger, calm down. Uh, I can explain-"

He cut off. Could he explain? He was trying his best to think of a good excuse when she started in on a speech she seemed to have prepared ahead of time.

"No, I just need to say a few things, then I'm leaving. I don't want to hear your excuses." She began a lecture on witch's rights and berated him for trying to force himself on her. There was some mention of arcane, patriarchal pureblood beliefs, then a bit about how a proper wizard should secure the witch's consent before initiating any romantic activities, such as throwing someone else against a wall and snogging them.

Draco couldn't help but smirk at her long-winded monologue. Then he found himself wondering which wall in his flat he'd thrown her against.

_Seriously, stop._

She finished her tirade with, "I think we need to stop meeting. I thought we were - uh - friends. I mean, we were just barely friends, you must have misinterpreted, because, well I have Ron-"

Draco cut in then. "I also have a girlfriend."

"Well then, you are a terrible boyfriend."

Draco couldn't deny that, then started raking his hands through his hair, searching again for a plausible excuse for his future self's behavior.

"Malfoy, this has been, uh, nice. Thank you for the apology, and the lunches, and the library tour. I'm happy to see you've changed from the spoiled brat you were in school but I came to say goodbye and let you know this is over."

She held her hand out to him and he looked at it curiously, but didn't take it.

"Right, okay," she pulled her hand back then turned to go. As soon as she disappeared into the stairwell Draco moved to follow her, ready to confess everything, but he stopped in the hall, realizing something.

 _He_ was the one who told her everything. _He_ was the reason they started working together in that library from the photo. It made sense now. One thing Draco valued above all else was the freedom to make his own decisions, mostly because of what happened in the war. He knew now his future self would have never taken that away from him. So, this was the start of it all. Draco hadn't expected it to happen so quickly.

He looked at the door to the stairs, his mind racing. He could stop it now. She was done with him, so when his future self came back to find her, she'd refuse to see him. He could stay with Astoria and work on rebuilding what he'd broken there. He didn't have to lead himself toward the life depicted in that photo album. He didn't have to do anything he didn't want to do.

But it was a good future, wasn't it? Better than his life now? He couldn't be sure. All told, he'd spent less than a month there, and not all the times had been good, he reminded himself.

His mind was racing through everything he'd witnessed. Easter with Potter and her other friends, his birthday party, the fights with her, all the times she'd cried, their honeymoon, the photos in the album, his father's face. And finally, the last time he'd seen her and what she said as he'd tucked her into bed.

_I love you._

_No, you love_ him _._

_I love you no matter the time, Draco._

He crossed the hall in a few paces, then stopped with his hand clutching the doorknob tightly.

 _What do I want? What do I want? What do I want?_ he thought to himself as he stared down at his white knuckles gripping the knob firmly. Finally, he took a deep breath, then pulled the door open and started sprinting down the stairs.

"Granger!"

* * *

**Astoria Greengrass**

Astoria was walking up the stairs to Draco's flat and paused at the top to catch her breath. She would usually apparate or Floo directly inside, but Draco had been off lately and she didn't want to presume he'd welcome her in. If she knocked on his door, it would give him the sense of control she knew he needed and make him feel like he could turn her away, though she hoped he wouldn't.

This was a ridiculous way to have to behave around your boyfriend, but she hoped it was temporary and that whatever was plaguing Draco would soon pass. Or better yet, that he'd finally let her in on whatever it was.

She heard voices in the hall then and pressed her ear up to the door, suddenly curious.

_What the hell is wrong with you?_

_What's wrong with me? You kissed me! Out of nowhere! You cannot do that._

Astoria gasped and moved away from the door. Then she lifted her wand and cast a charm on it to see who was on the other side. She gasped again when she recognized the witch.

_Draco kissed Hermione Granger?_

Astoria turned back to the stairs, eager to get out of sight. She'd believed Draco when he said it was nothing. She was such a fool. Did he like her? She didn't seem to like him back, so it wasn't like they were carrying on a secret relationship. Had he been pining for Granger? Is that why he'd been so distant? Then why didn't he just break up with her? He didn't seem the type to cheat.

When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she apparated straight to her bedroom at the Greengrass Estate. She walked to the mirror and studied her reflection, wondering what Draco saw in Hermione Granger that he didn't see in her. She stood there a long while, then wondered after a time why she wasn't crying. But she didn't feel hurt, she realized then. The primary emotion she was feeling, was shock.

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

"Granger!"

Hermione heard Malfoy's voice at the top of the stairs but ignored it and continued running down. He caught up with her by the time she reached the door to the bottom floor and yelled, "It wasn't me!"

She turned back toward him, suddenly angry. "How stupid do you think I am? Do you expect me to believe someone used Polyjuice potion for the sole purpose of getting really drunk and sitting in your flat, just so he could launch himself at the first unsuspecting witch to come calling, and later blame it on you?"

"You came to my flat? Why?"

Hermione felt guilty, remembering how she'd snooped through the Auror reports to get his address, but she quickly shook it off. He was the one at fault here, not her. "That is beside the point." She turned to leave and opened the door but he closed it shut behind her.

"Wait."

She pulled her wand out of her robes and pointed it at his chest and he backed away quickly, holding his hands in the air. "Can you come back to my flat so I can explain?"

"Right, so you can assault me again?" A few sparks shot out of the end of her wand and he backed away further.

Malfoy looked up the stairwell as if to check that they were alone, then he lowered his voice and said in a rush, "It was me, but not from this time. Look at me now and I'm sure you'll notice small differences in my appearance from the last time you saw me. Differences that can't be accounted for with just a week or two of time passing."

She lit her wand silently, then stepped closer to him and examined his face. He was right. He did look a bit younger. There were no lines around his mouth and eyes. But time travel? The time turners were all destroyed following the war. And why would he have come back to the past and kissed her? It still didn't make sense.

He squinted under the light but kept his gaze on her, then he held his hand up to shield his eyes. "Can you come inside? I know you're dying to know more, but I won't discuss it out here."

She considered for a moment, then gave him a curt nod and lowered her wand. As she followed him back up the stairs, she asked, "Who cast the fiendfyre spell in the Room of Requirement?"

He sighed then muttered, "Crabbe."

"And what book was I reading when we first met in the café?"

He looked over his shoulder and paused on the stairs before responding. "I don't know. That wasn't me."

He resumed his ascent and she walked quickly to keep up with his long strides. "Okay...who was it?"

She saw him shake his head, but he kept his gaze forward. "It depends on the date. Just wait until we get inside." They walked the rest of the way in silence and she followed him into his flat and stood awkwardly near the door, remembering what had happened the last time she was here.

"I'm not going to attack you this time," he said with a hint of amusement and she glared back at him.

He sighed and started rubbing the bridge of his nose and she watched him curiously, trying to pick out the differences between this Draco and the other one she'd seen. Or had there been multiple future Dracos?

"How does it work?"

He stayed silent, like he wasn't going to tell her, and she shook her head and turned to the door.

"No, wait, stay. Do you- uh- want tea? Or water?"

"No, I want you to explain this supposed time travel."

He sighed then turned toward what looked like a sitting room. He stopped in the doorway and motioned for her to go on ahead of him. "Fine, but at least come inside, I don't want to talk in the hall."

She regarded him for a moment, then reluctantly walked into an elegant sitting room with a gorgeous view of the city. She sat on a large grey couch and was surprised to find it was more comfortable than it looked. Then she crossed her arms and turned back to him. He was still standing in the doorway watching her, then began pacing the room as he finally started to talk.

"I guess you can say it all started over a year ago, when I had an - uh - accident with a time turner. Since then I've been jumping around in time. I go to the future and the version of myself from the future replaces me here."

"What? That's not how time turners work."

"I fucking know that Granger," he growled and she sneered back at him.

"Anyway, the Draco you've been befriending, that hasn't been me."

Well, that much was clear. This person was nothing like the Draco Malfoy she'd been meeting with for months now. And a lot of oddities about the other Malfoy were starting to make sense. The memory lapses, how he never seemed quite sure how she was going to react when he first greeted her, and how his appearance was always a little different.

"How many times have we actually met up in this time?"

He stopped pacing and turned to face her, counting on his fingers as he talked. "We danced together almost a year ago now, then there was the check-up at Malfoy Manor, uh- that's it."

"That's it?"

"Oh, well, I've passed by you a few times and nodded, but nothing else significant."

"How often does it happen?"

"I've tried mapping it out to see if I can find a pattern, but as far as I can tell, there isn't one. But it happens around once a month and I'm usually gone for about one or two days."

Hermione thought about what he said for a second, then stood up and walked back to the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving."

"Why?"

She crossed her arms and fixed him with a stern glare, "I don't believe you."

"Why not?"

"That's not how time travel works. I think you're just trying to make excuses for something stupid you did while drunk. It was clever, especially mixed with the memory lapses and everything else, but - well. It doesn't change what I said before. This is it for us, goodbye."

She turned to leave and threw the front door open but before she reached the hall outside his flat he was behind her and had grabbed her hand so she couldn't apparate. "Wait! I can prove it."

When she looked back at him she saw he was chewing his cheek as if contemplating something, then he said in a rush, "There are five moments from the war that still haunt you. The time you had to obliviate your parents, the day Weasley left you and Potter alone, the day you were tortured, the time you saw the Great Hall lined with bodies, and when you thought Potter was dead."

Hermione felt like she'd been doused in cold water. They stood in the open doorway staring at each other for what felt like forever, then she realized he was still holding her hand and pulled hers back violently. "How do you know that?" she hissed, then dropped his gaze, wondering if he was an incredibly talented Legilimens.

She realized then her eyes were wet and she wiped them with the back of her hand as surreptitiously as possible. Malfoy's voice was soft when he spoke next.

"You told me once, in the future."

"Why?" she still wasn't looking at him, "I've never told anyone before."

She heard him hitch his breath and chanced a look up at him. He was staring at the wall, deep in thought. When he looked back at her his eyes were sad, then he seemed to steel himself and she watched his face turn blank.

"Will you come back inside?"

She regarded him for a few more seconds, then nodded and followed him back inside and took a seat back on the couch. She repeated her earlier question, wondering if he'd answer it this time. "Why did I tell you that?"

He sat next to her on the couch and sighed heavily, "We're friends, in the future."

Hermione nodded, then said softly, "I sort of thought we were friends now."

He looked over at her and gave her a small smile, and for the first time today she was able to see the nice Malfoy she'd come to know in this sullen wizard. "I was so confused when I would occasionally see you in public and you looked at me like you hated me," she continued, "but that was just- well, you."

He dropped her gaze and looked down at his hands. "Yeah, sorry. But I don't hate you."

"So, you time travel. Wow. How did it start?"

He explained an accident at the Manor and how a time turner broke in his hand and he thought several pieces were now circulating through his bloodstream. He also explained what he'd discovered in his research, about the way time turners work and how unstable their magic could be when broken, and his theory about using an extraction potion to remove the time turner piece, but how it wasn't possible without the remaining pieces of the time turner, which he thought were long gone by now.

When he stopped she considered the problem for a while, rolling it around in her mind. There was something strange about how he and his future self replaced each other, that didn't fit and she was sure there was something significant about that, but she couldn't figure out what it was.

"Wait, you do your research at the library in Nott Manor, don't you?" she asked, recalling the stack of books about time she'd seen during her visit a few weeks before and also remembering Malfoy's odd reaction when she'd commented on them.

"Oh, uh, yeah," he looked surprised and she thought how strange it was that they each had a relationship with a future version of the other person, with different experiences and memories to draw from.

"The Ministry archives would probably be better. There is a huge section on time, which is mostly untouched now that all the time turners have been destroyed."

"Oh, uh- I don't have access."

"I do."

His head turned so quickly she wondered if he'd snapped his neck. He was staring at her intently and she had no idea why, but stared back at him and waited patiently for him to explain what had just alarmed him. She should have known better though, he was never forthcoming with his thoughts, not even in the future.

"Are you offering to help me research time travel?"

She leaned back in her seat, surprised by the intensity behind his words. This seemed like a very significant question for him, but she couldn't imagine why. "I mean, I can fit in an hour or so a week, as long as you're flexible with the timing."

He looked at her for a long time and she desperately wanted to know what he was thinking, then he nodded and said quickly, "I'd appreciate that, thank you."

He stood then and disappeared into the hall. She rose to her feet and sighed, figuring she was supposed to follow him. He was standing near the front door, staring at the wall and stroking his chin with his hand when she approached.

"I guess I should go," she said unnecessarily. "I can owl you to work out the best meeting time for searching through the archives."

She waited for him to respond, but he just nodded absently. "Malfoy, I don't have to help you if you don't want-"

"No," he cut in quickly, "I do, uh- want your help. I'll look for your owl this week." He seemed to collect himself then, and she saw him straighten his spine, then he held the door open for her.

"Thank you, Granger. For giving me a chance to explain."

She was almost out the door when she turned and asked, "Do you know why you kissed me?"

She thought she saw something flash in his eyes, but in a second whatever it was was gone. He shrugged, "It wouldn't be the first time I've kissed someone I shouldn't while drunk. But I'd prefer if we could forget about that, since I have no memory of it."

Hermione nodded, then finally apparated back to her flat. It was empty and she was glad for that, then remembered Ron was out on Auror duty and wouldn't be back until late tonight.

She'd planned to tell him about Malfoy kissing her the next day, as soon as she'd confronted Malfoy about it. But now she reasoned it wouldn't make sense to tell him. Ron would certainly overreact, then probably go find Malfoy and hex him. But technically, the Draco Malfoy from this time had done nothing wrong.

But could she really keep something like this from him? And from Harry too? She told them everything.

"What do you think Crooks? Should I tell them?"

The cat jumped onto her lap and nudged her hand. She petted the spot he liked behind his ears and was met with a loud purr.

"I know what you'd suggest. You'd say I should follow my intuition, just as you do." She sighed and played back her conversation with Malfoy today. She couldn't believe he knew about the five moments from the war. She must be close friends with him if she'd confided in him that much. Had he confided in her in return?

"I think," she said eventually, and Crookshanks lifted his head from her lap and cocked his ear toward her, "I think I should keep it secret for now. That feels right, though - honestly Crooks, I have no idea why."

* * *

_Present Time: May 2001 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

"Okay, I have some ground rules," Hermione ignored Malfoy's smirk and continued, checking her notes to be sure she didn't miss anything.

They were sitting in the Ministry Archives about to start their first meeting since she'd agreed to help him a few weeks ago. "I assume, by telling you now, your future selves will remember them?"

Malfoy shrugged, "I guess so, it makes sense that I would remember this conversation."

"Good. Okay, uh, first. I don't want to know anything about my future."

He nodded.

"Second, no kissing."

He rolled his eyes but nodded again.

"And last, you can't make fun of me or my friends."

He sighed, "Not even if they do something stupid?"

"Not even then."

He rolled his eyes again. "Fine. I have a rule too."

"Oh, okay."

"You can't tell anyone."

She nodded, thinking back to her conversation with Crookshanks. She'd already decided to keep this to herself, for now.

First they started reviewing the list of dates he had of the time jumps he'd made so far. "What's this?" She pointed at several passages in the notebook that were blurred out.

"Notes from what happened in the future during those jumps."

She nodded, glad they were blurred out, then focused back on the dates. "Why don't you know the first two?" There were question marks where the future date should be next to those entries.

"I didn't know what was going on then, so I didn't check for a date. I think the first one was just over six years into the future, since that's how many times I'd turned the time turner before it broke. The other one, I have no idea."

She went back to his notes, pleased by how thorough they were. "They're all concentrated around a relatively small amount of time."

He snorted but didn't say anything else.

"Can I make a copy of these? I want to check them later for patterns."

"There are no patterns, I've checked them a hundred times. It looked like there was one for awhile, but it fell apart after my fifth jump."

"I'd still like to check."

He shrugged and pulled his wand out, then made a copy of the notes for her, this time the blurred entries were erased. "Here, knock yourself out Granger."

* * *

Later that night, Hermione was still pouring over the notes, determined to find a pattern and prove Malfoy wrong, but nothing she tried worked. The jumps did appear to be mostly random, though like he said, they happened about once a month.

One thing she _had_ noticed, but was trying to keep from dwelling on, was that future Malfoy had spent more than half of his time jumps with her. They hadn't done more than chat casually about books and random topics, so why had he kept seeking her out? What about his other friends? Or his girlfriend?

But it was just lunch, maybe he was spending breakfast and dinner with them. She sighed and pushed back from the desk, then jumped when she saw Ron behind her.

She pulled her hand to her heart, "Merlin Ron, I didn't see you there!"

He smiled and kissed her on the cheek, "I know. What is all this? It certainly doesn't look like legislation," he motioned toward her Arithmancy formulas.

"Oh," she looked down at her lap and chewed her lip, then started in on the story she'd worked out earlier to account for all the time she'd be spending with Malfoy in the Ministry Archives. "I'm helping Draco Malfoy with some research."

"What?" Ron jumped up from the couch and she stood up and started rubbing her hands up and down his arms.

"I know, it's weird. But he needs my help with this, uh, project."

"What kind of project?"

"I promised not to tell anyone the specifics," she said truthfully, "but he's suffering from a bit of spell damage and I think I may be able to help him."

"Why doesn't he just go to St. Mungo's?"

"Oh, they dismissed his case, it's very rare what he's going through."

"And what makes you think you can help, when the healers haven't been able to? I know you're brilliant, but knowing him, he probably threw a load of gold at it and-"

"I know, it's hard to explain, but - well, I want to help and I think with the right research I might be able to solve it."

Ron regarded her for a while and she could tell he was upset, but she'd expected this. He sighed, "So you're going to add this on top of the extra work you bring home, in addition to your actual job? When will I see you?"

Hermione moved to the desk and cleared it quickly with a wave of her wand. "No, I won't bring this home. Tonight was a fluke. I'll work on this a few hours each week over lunch. It won't cut into any of my time here with you, I promise."

She gave him a tentative smile and he shook his head at her, but still pulled her into his chest for a tight hug. "You're too nice, Hermione." She nodded, unsure what else to say.

"You know, I've always thought people can make time for anything, really, if it's important enough to them."

Hermione sighed and pushed back so she could look at him. His eyes were sad. "I'll make time for you Ron, I promise."

"Sure Hermione," he said, and she could tell he didn't believe her. But she was determined to prove him wrong.

* * *

**Astoria Greengrass **

Astoria was sitting on the couch when Draco apparated into his flat. He jumped when he saw her, clearly not expecting to find anyone there.

"Stori! Where have you been? I've been owling you for weeks. Daphne said you went to stay with a friend from school. Are you okay?"

He looked genuinely concerned and her heart fluttered.

_No. Don't do this. He's concerned because he's a nice man, but he doesn't love you._

She sighed, then motioned for him to take the seat next to her on the couch. He removed his outer robe and hung it in the closet, then went to join her, still looking at her warily.

"Draco, I can stand you not loving me, I think we both kind of expected that in the beginning. But I can't put up with you loving someone else."

He looked back at her confused and she allowed herself to hope that it had all been a misunderstanding. But no, she knew what she'd heard. She needed to stick up for herself, otherwise she'd turn into Daphne, pathetically pining over a wizard who barely gave her the time of day.

"What?"

"I heard you and Hermione Granger talking, and she said you kissed her."

Draco winced and dropped his head in his hands, and she was glad he wasn't trying to deny it. When he looked back at her, his eyes were swimming with guilt.

 _Good,_ she thought, _at least he has the decency to look ashamed._

"Astoria, that was a huge mistake. I was drunk off my arse and I have absolutely no memory of it. I didn't even know I'd done it until she came and yelled at me about it."

Astoria thought he seemed sincere and felt a little better, but it still hadn't excused what he'd done. Being drunk wasn't a very good excuse.

"I am so sorry, but- I don't love her."

"But you don't love me either."

His eyes were sad, and she had her answer, though, really, she'd known this whole time. She'd loved him with her whole heart, but he had always seemed to be looking for something more. Even in the other parts of his life: the work he did with his father, his relationships with his friends, Draco wasn't satisfied with the life he had.

"You're gorgeous Stori. And clever, kind, caring- everything I could want in a partner. I really wanted to love you."

"But you don't," she said matter-of-factly. "I understand. I guess it's good to know before we end up married." Astoria took a deep breath then, trying to hold back the tears that were struggling to escape.

Draco put a soft hand on her knee, "We're good together, and I thought we'd be fine. That we would grow to love each other but- I think I want-" he looked away as if he was searching for the right word.

"-more," she finished for him. He looked back at her and nodded slowly, then a few tears finally started flowing down her cheeks.

"Oh Stori," Draco held her face in his hands and started wiping the tears away, "I'm so sorry I hurt you, that was never my intention."

She took a deep breath, then leaned away from him and pulled a handkerchief out of her purse, dabbing her eyes every so often as they sat in silence. "So how does Granger factor into all of this?"

Draco let out a large sigh before answering. "We're just friends, really."

"But you- uh- you're able to talk to her, aren't you?"

He considered the question for a long time, like it was a complicated one, then eventually he nodded. That affirmation hurt Astoria more than the drunken kiss and the tears started pouring from her eyes again.

When Draco saw her, his eyes grew sad again, but he didn't reach out for her this time. "I'm so sorry. This thing with Granger isn't romantic, really. It's just, well, extremely complicated."

Astoria let out a small laugh. "You, Draco, are extremely complicated. I thought I liked that about you, but-" she paused to sigh and he cocked an eyebrow at her, urging her to continue. "Well it just turned out to be exhausting," she finished.

They both shared a laugh then, and she finally stood up and straightened her dress. She put her purse on, then held her hand out to Draco. "I think we should call it, before you end up hurting me for real. Then you can go figure out this complicated thing with Granger in peace."

Draco stood but ignored her hand, pulling her into a hug instead. "I really am sorry for being such a lousy boyfriend."

"You weren't. Well, until you kissed someone else."

He let her go and pulled back to look at her. "I really am sorry."

"I know. And honestly, kissing her isn't what hurt the most. You confided in her and I've been trying to get you to talk to me for over a year." She ran her fingers through his hair, which she realized now would be for the last time. Then she dropped her hand and gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

"Bye Draco," she whispered, "and good luck. I'll send an elf for my things."

She turned to the fireplace, wiping a few final tears from her eyes, then Floo-ed back to Greengrass Estate.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, now we're getting somewhere. One relationship down, one more to go… Also, kudos to Astoria for staying classy.
> 
> Many thanks to amazing beta reader, Lancashire Witch who spends a tons of time pouring over my drafts and making them better for all of you. You can follow me over on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson to see aesthetics and a few behind the scenes drabbles for each chapter. Thanks so much for reading, please let me know what you think.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

_If you want to know his heart,_

_pay close attention to what angers him._

_If you want to know his mind,_

_listen for the words that linger in his silence._

_If you want to know his soul,_

_look at where his eyes are when you catch him smiling._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: May 2001 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Hermione Granger **

Hermione started meeting with Malfoy once a week in the Ministry Archives. She'd expected him to protest more when she explained that she'd have to move the day they met each week to fit into her work schedule, but he'd simply shrugged.

She'd thought he was unpredictable before, but it was nothing compared to how he was now. She never knew from one moment to the next if she'd get a mean version of him closer to the boy she'd known in school, or an understanding, nice Malfoy like the one she'd become friends with over the past year.

Even he didn't seem to know what to expect from himself and she got the sense he was frequently altering his opinion of her. She wondered if the extreme moodiness was just a part of his personality, or if the time travel made it worse, since he was constantly trying to reconcile his present time with an unfamiliar future.

Or, more accurately, an unfamiliar collection of futures, since every time he was transported to a different date, with separate rules and scenarios, than the previous dates he'd visited. Just thinking about it made her head hurt. But, the one fortunate thing about Malfoy's situation was that it could not have happened to someone more capable of handling its complexity.

In just the two weeks she'd been working with him, Hermione had learned that Malfoy was very sharp and had an incredible memory, which was ironic since she'd assumed for the past few months that he suffered from memory lapses.

If this time jumping had happened to anyone else she could see them getting completely lost in the time jumps, but he had a strong grasp of the intricacies of the different timelines and seemed to be able to visualize them clearly in his mind.

She hadn't known how smart he was since he'd never really applied himself in school. But she wished she'd known about his intellect before she'd insisted she'd be able to find a pattern he'd missed in the dates of all his jumps. She hadn't. Like he'd said, the jumps appeared to be random.

When she finally admitted he was right, he smiled to himself and nodded, but didn't say anything more. _Okay, so he's closer to nice Malfoy today_ , she thought to herself.

He looked up at her then and cocked an eyebrow at her in confusion, and she blushed and looked away, realizing that she'd been staring at him for a few minutes.

"Anyway, I've been researching the butterfly effect," she said, looking back down at her notes. "I assume you've come across the concept already?"

He nodded.

"Good. So you know that you need to be careful about changing the past. One small action could have lasting effects."

"Yes, I will inform my future self," he muttered sarcastically.

She rolled her eyes, thinking she may have been too quick with her previous assessment of his mood, then went back to the book she was reading. But her attention was soon torn away from the passage in front of her when Malfoy started speaking again.

"When I first read about the butterfly effect, it made it sound like you go to a time, then start making changes willfully. But- well I'm finding it's not like that."

Hermione turned to face him. "What do you mean?"

"I, well, during some jumps to the future, I've heard of things that happen in the past, things I've done and I thought to myself at the time: 'That doesn't sound like me, I wouldn't do that.' But in another jump, I did it, the thing I had already done, and it seemed so natural at the time. I guess it was what I was meant to do. I thought it would feel forced but-" he cut off and shook his head.

"I don't-" he sighed, "-I don't like it. It's a little terrifying at times, to be honest. Like I'm just a pawn in a larger chess game and I have no idea who is moving the pieces."

He looked away, embarrassed and she guessed he wasn't used to confiding in people. That would change, she knew, since he'd confided in her, easily, multiple times in the future. She wondered what accounted for the change.

"I know the exact feeling," she admitted in an effort to alleviate some of his discomfort.

"You've time traveled?" His head snapped up in surprise.

"I have."

"Why? When?"

"I-" She thought of Buckbeak then, and remembered why his life had been in danger and cut off, unsure of what this version of Malfoy would do with the information.

He shook his head, then looked down, dejected. "You don't trust me."

"I - well, no. I don't."

He regarded her for a few more seconds, then gave her a curt nod and turned back to his book. They didn't speak for the rest of the session and when Hermione's wand alarm went off, signaling the end of their time together, she stood up and started to stretch.

They stacked the books they'd used in silence but before Hermione could return them with her wand, a paper airplane landed on her head. She read it quickly, then sighed in frustration.

"What?"

She'd forgotten Malfoy was still standing there. "My lunch meeting has been canceled again. This is the third time we've had to move it…" she trailed off and started writing a response on the note, asking if tomorrow would work, then sent it back to her colleague with a flick of her wand.

"Right," Malfoy mumbled as he bent to pick up his bag.

"Do you want to go to lunch with me?" The words were out of Hermione's mouth before she could consider them and she regretted the invitation as soon as she saw his face. She'd been trying to relieve the tension between them that had settled in after she said she didn't trust him, and she'd had lunch with him countless times, but then, that hadn't been _this_ Malfoy. He was hesitant and looked like he was trying to find the right way to let her down.

"Nevermind, I'm sure you have plans," she added in a rush.

"No, I don't," his expression was different now and he looked guilty and a little...hopeful? This Malfoy was impossible to keep up with. The range of emotions that would flash in his eyes over the span of just one minute made her dizzy. It was a good thing she was clever and good at handling complicated problems, otherwise she didn't think she'd be able to keep up.

"Okay then, uh - are you ready?"

He nodded and they walked back to the apparition point at the Ministry entrance and she paused, considering where to take him. She'd been planning to take him to the café they typically met at, but she remembered that this Malfoy probably hadn't been there yet. And it occurred to her that maybe this was when he found out about it, so he'd know where to go when he sought her out in the future.

If she changed her mind now, he'd never find her in the future and she'd never start up a friendship with him. Then she'd never have gone to his flat, he'd never have kissed her, and she wouldn't be standing here with him now in this awkward silence. She could change it all with one small decision about where to go to lunch.

"Granger, do you always think this much? Or is it just our special - uh - situation?" He was looking at her with an amused expression and she blushed, then decided then to stop overthinking it and take him to the café.

She ignored his question. "Are you fine if we go somewhere Muggle?"

He shrugged, then transfigured his clothes with a silent spell and looked back at her expectantly. She did the same, then offered him her arm and apparated them both to an alley close to the restaurant where they'd eaten together many times.

After they'd sat down and ordered their food, he repeated his earlier question. "You never answered me before. Do you always stare off in the distance, deep in thought?"

"No, I'm still getting used to the time travel. Every single action is layered; it's fascinating to consider, and incredibly complicated."

"What do you mean?"

"Well this restaurant, for example, have you ever been here before?"

Malfoy shook his head.

"Actually, you have, many times, with me. You came in one day and sat down. At the time, I had no idea how you'd found me, since I only ever come here alone, but I just realized, when I was deciding where to take you to lunch that if I took you here today, well- that was how you would know where to find me in the future."

He looked around, then eventually back at her, "Yes, I know what you mean. You- well, you'll get used to it." Hermione didn't know if she ever would.

"So I just came in and sat down one day?" he asked.

"Yes."

"I'm surprised you let me."

"Hah- uh, I protested, of course. But you threatened to break the statute of secrecy, so I didn't have much of a choice."

She thought this would be a surprise to him, but he just nodded thoughtfully.

"Then, after a Quidditch match, you took me to a pub and apologized to me for- uh- everything." She studied his face, interested to see what his reaction would be since it had just occurred to her that this Malfoy had never apologized to her. Every action that had redeemed him in her eyes hadn't been done by this version of him.

He met her gaze and his eyes were sad, but he didn't say anything.

"I thought that was the point of it all," she continued, "why you'd reached out to me, but you kept coming back..."

He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off when the waitress came with their food. Once the waitress was gone, he said in a low voice. "Granger, I _am_ sorry, even though I know the person who apologized wasn't me."

Hermione waved him away, "It's fine Malfoy, I didn't- I didn't mean to turn the conversation to something so heavy. It's just- a lot. I have no idea how you're managing to keep up with all of this."

He shrugged, "You seem to be doing a fine job keeping up."

"Maybe, but I only have to manage one time-jumping relationship. You have to keep track of everyone in your life."

He looked at her oddly, then nodded slowly and started eating his pasta. After a few more moments of silence he asked, "Is that why you offered to help me?"

"What?"

"I learned in the future that you'd help me with this, but I couldn't imagine why. Then when you first offered, well, I didn't expect it. Especially since the last thing I'd done was assault you," she blushed but he wasn't looking at her, his eyes were focused on something outside the window. "But it makes sense now. The puzzle, the complexity of it all, that's what appealed to you so much."

Hermione considered this. Why did she offer to help? It wasn't for mental stimulation, like he thought. She thought it was on behalf of the other Malfoy who she was friends with. The one who liked to talk about Muggle literature and made her feel good about herself.

"I guess I didn't have a choice then," she said matter-of-factly. "You said you learned in the future that I helped, so I did."

This was the absolute wrong thing to say. His expression darkened and she opened her mouth to backtrack, but paused, unsure where she'd misspoken.

"Hermione, you need to promise me something," his suddenly serious tone and the unexpected use of her name caught her off guard. When she looked into his grey eyes they were intense and reminded her of a storm and as she stared into them she lost herself for a moment, forgetting her previous thought, then forgetting why he was looking at her like this. Right, he wanted her to promise something.

"Okay," she said, her voice was rough and she took a sip of water to clear her throat.

"Promise that in all your interactions with me from here on out, you will never do anything because you know it happens that way in the future. You have a choice. We both do," he added, his voice intense.

"You're thinking of something specific, aren't you?"

He nodded, never dropping her gaze and she was dying to ask more but knew it would violate her own request that he not tell her specifics about her future.

"Promise me, Hermione." She could tell this was extremely important to him. She normally wouldn't agree to such a vague request, but it seemed reasonable enough.

"Okay. I promise."

"Good." He looked away then and she finally had a chance to breathe and she turned back to the food in front of her that she'd nearly forgotten. He seemed to relax slightly, then took up his fork and kept eating too. As she ate, she watched him and saw that his eyes were back to their normal light grey color; the storm she'd seen in them a few moments ago had passed. She wondered, as she took another bite of salad, who would win in a staring contest between Harry and Malfoy.

* * *

_Present Time: June 2001 / Draco's Time: January 2004_

* * *

** Hermione Granger **

A week later, Hermione was studying in the Ministry Archives with Malfoy again. She'd been trying to catalog the differences between this person and the versions of him she knew from the future. This one was more sullen and guarded and didn't smile nearly as much as the other Malfoy.

He also wasn't as confident as his future self. He was arrogant, just as he had been in school, but it seemed forced and less natural than the self-assuredness it would one day become. She wondered what would cause such a drastic change in his demeanor in just a few years.

Her thoughts were interrupted when he exclaimed, "Shit, it's about to happen."

"Really? Right now?" She rushed to his side of the table and jumped when she saw him flicker, as if he'd momentarily become invisible. "How much warning do you usually get?"

"About a minute. It's usually just enough time to run off so no one sees me disappear, but I guess I don't have to now."

Hermione watched, fascinated, as he blinked out. Then, less than a second later, he was replaced by another Malfoy sitting in the same spot, in the exact same position, but this one was wearing dress robes.

He looked annoyed once he recognized his location, but when he saw Hermione he smiled and it was better than any smile the other Malfoy had given her. She realized she'd missed this version of him then. It had been ages since she'd seen him, not since…

She furrowed her brow as she remembered the drunken kiss.

"What's wrong?" he asked, noticing her frown.

"What time are you from?"

"January 2004."

So the kiss hadn't happened yet. According to present Draco's notes the drunk version of him had been from 2005. She guessed it wasn't fair to be angry with him for something he hadn't done yet.

"Oh, nothing," she said eventually. "So, uh- where were you?" she motioned toward his dress robes.

"A silent auction to raise funds for St. Mungo's."

"Oh, sounds more fun than this."

"Yeah," he sighed, "my date was fucking hot."

Hermione smiled back at him, awkwardly. "Right. Well, I'm sorry you have to spend the next two hours with me instead."

He smirked to himself and shook his head and there seemed to be some joke there, but she didn't get it.

"Didn't you know though? That you'd miss it? Isn't the version of you from this time at the silent auction now, making a memory you can recall?"

His eyes narrowed and he muttered under his breath, "Yeah, he's making a fucking memory all right." He cut off when he saw her watching him curiously, then said louder, "I knew I would leave. I just didn't realize I'd disappear after less than 30 minutes." He sighed, then turned to face her, "How are you?"

She smiled in spite of herself, it was so nice having pleasant Malfoy back. The other one would never ask her how she was so casually. "Well, I recently found out you've been time traveling and all the memories I have with you aren't really, well, you."

"They're all me, Hermione, just at different times."

"I don't know, there seems to be a clear divide between the Malfoys I meet from the future and the Malfoy currently living in this time."

He nodded thoughtfully and she remembered then all the questions she'd planned to ask future Malfoy when she saw him again.

"I have a lot of questions for you."

He smiled and shook his head, amused, "I'm not surprised."

"When I saw the dates of all your time jumps, I noticed that you spent so many of them coming back to see me. Why is that?"

He thought for a while before finally answering her. "We're friends in my time and it sort of came about because of these research sessions. But- well, I knew you'd never offer to help me if I didn't show you, as early as possible, how I'm not as terrible as I was in school."

"That sounds like cheating."

He shrugged, then smirked at her, "I'm not surprised you see it like that."

Hermione hesitated with her next question. She wanted to know why he'd called her stunning that first day at Flourish and Blotts and why sometimes it seemed like he was flirting with her, but she couldn't form the words, suddenly embarrassed.

And as she thought of his 'hot date,' who was probably the gorgeous Astoria, she wondered if maybe he was just a flirty person. Like he'd just said, he'd come back to be nice to her so she'd agree to help him with this research. He was just using her, which fit in more with the Malfoy she knew.

"Didn't you have more questions?" he asked, and she wondered again if he knew Legilimency, but thought not, since she was sure if he knew what she was think now, his expression would look more smug.

"No, uh, that was it." She went back to the computation she was working on but he didn't make any move to join in on the research. "Can you help me with the maths here?" she asked, moving the formula she was working on toward him.

He shook his head and pushed the parchment back to her.

"Why not? I'm doing this to help _you._ So you don't have to be pulled around to random points in time anymore."

"I don't want to fix this," he argued back.

"Wait, what?"

"I like my life. I like how it all turns out. And if I change this - well, it's a part of what got me to where I am now. Remember the butterfly effect?"

"So, this has all been just a big waste of time?" she asked, exasperated.

Malfoy sighed and scooted his chair close to her and lifted his hand and she thought he was going to place it on hers, but he seemed to catch himself, then put it back in his lap. "I'm sorry Hermione. I do appreciate your help, really. It's good to understand this as much as possible. But it doesn't mean I'll decide to reverse it, if we ever figure out how."

"Do we figure out how?"

He smiled back at her and shook his head. "Rule number one…"

"Yeah, yeah." She sighed and stretched in her seat, then looked at her watch and stood up. "I understand if you don't want to work on this, but I'm not going to sit here and do it without you."

"Where are you going?" he was looking back at her disappointed and she felt bad but shook it off. Ron had asked her to join him for lunch today and she'd had to decline since she had plans with Malfoy. Since he wasn't interested in researching, she could still make lunch with Ron and earn some much needed goodwill.

"I'm going to lunch with Ron."

Malfoy rolled his eyes. "When are you going to dump him? You two are rubbish together."

"What happened to rule number one?" Hermione snapped back, angry now. "And rule three, not insulting my friends. You can't sit there and say something like that to me. God Malfoy!"

He was smirked at her, which made her even angrier and she started pacing the area next to the table he was still sitting at. "So what happens now? You plant this idea in my mind about Ron and I wonder, 'Wait, I don't end up with Ron?' I trusted you! I was worried you'd do something like this and if you do it again, in any time, I'm done here."

"Relax, Hermione," he was standing across from her now and she was happy to note he looked ashamed. "I was kidding. You know I don't like Weasley. Don't read into it so much."

She continued to glare at him, but his face was unreadable and she couldn't tell if he was lying or not. She stormed out of the room and was relieved to find the lift empty. When she got inside, she leaned against the wall and dropped her face into her hands.

She knew in her heart she didn't end up with Ron, and she couldn't even be mad at Malfoy about it. Because if she was being completely honest with herself, she'd known it even before his comment today.

* * *

_Present Time: January 2004 / Draco's Time: June 2001_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

Draco was in a bad mood. He'd been in a bad mood for weeks. And, ironically, the one thing he thought could take him out of his melancholy was a time jump to the future, but he hadn't time traveled in months.

All he wanted was to see future Hermione and he was no longer denying it. He'd tried, initially, but had lost that battle weeks ago. Now, he had even gone so far as to admitting that he missed her, since there really was no other explanation for the empty feeling in his chest every time he thought of her.

It had been ages since he'd seen a happy version of Hermione. The last jump he'd been alone in their house, surrounded by empty bottles while his other self assaulted this Hermione. Then, the jump before that, she'd cried uncontrollably in his arms.

So his birthday party was the last time he'd been with an enjoyable version of her, and that jump had been nearly six months ago.

When it came to missing Hermione, there was one thing he was clear on: He only missed _his_ Hermione, not the one that was currently sitting next to him. He smirked to himself as he thought of her reaction if she found out he referred to her as _his Hermione_ in his mind.

There was nothing wrong with the Hermione next to him (who he still called Granger in his mind). He actually liked her a lot more than he thought he would. She was clever and even surprisingly snarky at times. And he grudgingly admitted that she was pretty on the few occasions she took a moment to tame her hair. She was certainly out of Weasley's league, though, Draco reasoned; most witches were.

But even with her good qualities, Granger was nothing compared to her future self. That Hermione was confident, and content, and not nearly as nervous and fidgety as this one. And more than all that, she was completely in love with Draco.

Granger, he could tell, didn't even like him. He guessed she was tolerating him out of deference to his future self, who she most likely preferred over him. Probably for many of the same reasons he preferred her future self, he reasoned.

Maybe he didn't actually miss the other Hermione, he thought as he watched this one writing in her notebook. Maybe, he was just lonely after his breakup with Astoria. Maybe it wasn't really _her_ he liked, but the love she had for him. He'd said something similar to her during one of their fights.

The familiar feeling of vertigo came over Draco then and his heart started pounding with hopeful anticipation. Would he finally get to see future Hermione again?

"Shit, it's about to happen."

Granger shifted to his side of the table. "Really? Right now?" she jumped when she saw him flicker. "How much warning do you usually get?"

"About a minute. It's usually just enough time to run off so no one sees me disappear, but I guess I don't have to now."

He took a few deep breaths, then the next moment he was in a dark hall and could hear band music from the distance. Once his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he recognized he was outside a ballroom that seemed mildly familiar. He sighed when he realized he'd have to change his clothes. Dress robes were the trickiest garments to transfigure.

He heard heels clacking against the floor and pushed himself against the wall, then let out a sigh of relief when he saw Hermione coming down the hall. He almost rushed her, but stayed in place, unsure what mood she'd be in.

He pulled his wand out of his pocket and checked the date: _January 17, 2004._ He let out a sigh of relief. They were engaged and it was still months before they'd start fighting, so she should love him right now. His hope was confirmed once she finally got close enough and he could see her face.

She was beaming widely at him. "Oh good, a Draco who likes me," she said, leaning in to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. Then, she stepped back and started digging around a small, beaded bag on her arm and pulled out what looked like a set of dress robes.

"Here," she handed the folded pile of clothes to him but he ignored them, taking the opportunity instead to drink her in. He immediately felt at ease now that he was with her. It was like he'd been holding his breath for months and could finally breathe again.

She waved the robes in her hands, which he hadn't moved to grab yet, then said teasingly, "What? Are you going to make me put these on for you?" She shot him a wicked smile and he remembered how she'd teased him back in Easter about getting dressed in front of her and he'd blindfolded her so she wouldn't watch him change. He wouldn't blindfolded her now.

She forced the robes into his hands and turned him toward a small, dark hall, "Go change." He finally took the robes and began to unbutton his shirt. When he looked back, she had turned away from him and was facing the main hallway, clearly trying to give him some privacy.

"Do you always carry an extra set of clothes?" He asked as he quickly changed into a set of light grey dress robes.

"No, but you are pretty bad at transfiguring dress robes," she answered, still facing the main hall. "And you told me earlier today you remembered missing this event, so I came prepared."

Draco's heart fluttered at the thought of her carefully packing the dress robes, just to make this time jump easier for him.

_All she had to do was put an extra set of robes in her bag. Get a fucking grip._

He took a deep breath, trying to regain his composure. This witch was driving him mad. He felt like he was at school again, in third year, when he'd first decided witches were interesting and was obsessed with every little thing they did and said to him.

 _This is just a different version of Granger,_ he reminded himself. _The same person you were sitting next to at the Ministry just a few moments ago._

When he was finally ready to face her again, he turned around and walked back to the main hall, a little disappointed to find that she hadn't peeked back to look at him. "Do you have a tie in that magic bag of yours?"

"Oh, right." She began digging in the tiny bag, which obviously had an extension charm on it, then pulled out a violet bowtie that was a few shades darker then her dress and started tying it around his neck while he took the time, when she was distracted, to study her appearance.

The Granger from his time was pretty, but this one was bloody gorgeous. She was wearing a strapless, purple chiffon dress that hung on her body perfectly. Her hair was in large, loose curls and she was wearing a hint of make-up that accentuated her large, brown eyes.

His eyes moved to her lips which were slightly darkened by lipstick. He wondered what kissing her would be like. He'd been wondering this since he found out she'd kissed his future self, but had been trying his best to ignore the thought. It was nearly impossible to keep it out of his mind now, though, with her standing in front of him, looking so alluring.

She'd finished with his tie and was looking at him curiously and as he continued to watch her silently, she seemed to get nervous and started biting her bottom lip. That's when Draco lost control.

He crashed his lips against hers, then moved a hand behind her neck and buried his fingers into her hair. With his other hand, he pulled her against him by her hip, desperate to be as close to her as possible. She let out a delicious moan when he parted her lips with his tongue and started to explore her mouth, then she began to kiss him as eagerly as he was kissing her, moving her tongue to meet his for a few glorious minutes before she finally pulled away from him.

"Draco," she said, a little out of breath, "we, -uh- don't really do this with the person from the other time. Nothing more than a hug or a quick peck on the cheek."

Draco ignored her and pulled her back by her hips, then began to place kisses along her neck and jaw, smiling when she hitched her breath as he reached a sensitive spot near her ear.

"I'm serious, Draco," she said in a sterner tone, and he sighed and eventually stepped away from her.

"Well, it's your fault for looking like that," he said as he took in her appearance one more time.

She smiled back at him, then lifted her hand and ran her fingers through his hair. "You don't look so bad yourself," she said with a smirk, then she moved both of her hands to the front of his robes. "Okay, maybe one more," she gripped his robes tightly, then pulled him in for another kiss.

This kiss was even better than the first one. _Merlin, I should have been snogging Hermione this whole time. Screw the research._

Eventually she pushed him away for good, "Okay, that's probably enough. We should be getting back." She turned toward the ballroom and he caught up to her and snaked an arm around her.

"Oh, I forgot to ask, what time are you from?"

"June, 2001."

She stiffened in his grip and stepped away from him.

"What?" he asked.

"Was that our first kiss for you?"

Draco looked back at her guiltily, unsure what to say.

"Draco!" she hit him hard on the shoulder.

"Ow! What?"

"It's- well, it's weird. I thought the first time you kissed me, was the first time we kissed in the same timeline, not in the future!"

"It's only fair," he argued, "you've already kissed a future version of me."

She rolled her eyes. "That hardly counted." Then she fixed him with a calculating glare, as if just realizing something, "You liked me as early as then? Or, well, now? Right when we started working together?"

Draco wasn't ready for the question and he could tell by her expression that the doubt that crept in anytime he thought about his feelings for her had flashed in his eyes.

"You don't like me," she said simply and he didn't know what to say. "But then, why did you kiss me?"

Draco grabbed her by the shoulders, "I do. I- I like _you._ "

"We're the same."

"You're not. You're fucking gorgeous," she saw her eyes flash with annoyance and rushed to add, "but, well, more than that- you're more confident now. You're funny, and- and- smart."

"I'll give you the confidence thing. But I've always been funny and smart, and I look about the same now as I did back then. There's something else, I can tell, so just say it."

Draco dipped his head, then started rubbing his thumbs along the top of her bare arms, trying to work up the courage to admit why he really liked this Hermione more than the one from his time. "You like me - love me even. She doesn't."

She studied him for a while, and he could tell her brain was working hard. Then his stomach dropped when she blinked and a lone tear ran down her cheek. Draco wiped it away quickly.

"Fuck. No, I'm sorry. What's wrong?"

Hermione took a deep breath, then shook her head as she stepped out of his grasp, "It's fine, Draco."

He pulled her back into his arms and cupped her face in his hands and felt a pang in his chest when he saw the hurt look in her eyes. "I didn't mean- please- I'm sorry."

She pulled his hands down from her face but kept a firm grip on them. "I didn't like you very much either. I much preferred your future self. So, well, I guess it makes sense you felt the same way."

She finally dropped his hands and turned back to the ballroom. "Let's go."

When they got back to the event, he saw her plaster a smile on her face and try to engage in small-talk with a lot of people Draco didn't know. He assumed they were colleagues of hers and stayed by her side dutifully, keeping mostly silent. She was clearly still upset with him and would stiffen every time he tried to touch her. After an hour, he pulled her back into the hall.

"You're obviously miserable Hermione, let me take you home. We live in my flat, right?"

"It's fine," she shook her head, "the auction isn't even over-"

"Please, I can tell you don't want to be here." He didn't add the obvious qualifier they were both thinking: " _with me_."

She bit her lip, then turned back to him and nodded, "Fine, let's go."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: First off, if you were hoping for an instant connection between these two once they met up in their own time, then I'm sorry to disappoint. Remember, they each like another version of the other person and need to sort through that first.
> 
> Also, I love how this Dramione story has three first kisses. How fun is that? Unfortunately, the first one was pretty lame with drunken Draco essentially attacking Hermione. I hope you enjoyed the second first kiss in this chapter much more. I personally found it super enjoyable to write. 
> 
> But before we can move on to THE first kiss between both of them in the same timeline, we need to get rid of Ron…
> 
> Many thanks to my beta reader Lancashire Witch! You can follow me over on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson to see aesthetics and a few behind the scenes drabbles for each chapter. Thanks so much for reading, please let me know what you think.
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Thurs, Nov-12.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

_I loved how his eyes danced merrily,_

_and the gentle way he spoke;_

_the way he filled my aimless days,_

_with bitterness and hope._

_I loved him as I fell to sleep,_

_and each morning as I woke;_

_I loved him with all my wayward heart -_

_until the day it broke._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: January 2004 / Draco's Time: June 2001_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

When Hermione and Draco returned to his flat, she went straight to his bedroom and closed the door. He waited in the hall for a few minutes and wondered if she'd come back out. When it didn't seem like she would, he knocked softly on the door.

She had changed into a pair of green silk pajama pants and a grey top and her hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail. But even out of her formal clothes she looked incredible.

"Tell me what's wrong."

She sighed, as if considering if she wanted to talk to him, then finally asked, "Why did you break up with Astoria?"

"What?" That was the last thing he'd expected her to say.

"It just happened in your time, right? A few weeks ago. So tell me why."

"She broke up with me after she found out I kissed you."

Hermione shook her head. "We both know you could have sweet-talked your way out of that if you wanted to." She crossed her arms and cocked an eyebrow at him, waiting for his response.

He sighed. "I saw how much you and I loved each other, in the future, and Astoria and I didn't love each other like that. I want more for my life than what I had with her."

"You want real love?"

Draco nodded.

"But not me."

"Hermione-"

"You want love," she continued, cutting him off, "just like everyone else does. And you saw a future with someone who would love you. So then, you started up a friendship with the person who could get you there. But-" she looked away from him then and took a deep, steadying breath. "It was never about me, was it?"

Draco's heart dropped. He knew what she was getting at. Hadn't he been trying to convince himself the feelings he had for her had nothing to do with her, specifically, but were just related to the potentially happy future he'd been catching glimpses of?

He remembered what he'd said to her during one of his time jumps:

 _Did you ever stop to consider that maybe it had nothing to do with you? Maybe this so-called pathetic Draco_ was _drawn to love and connection, and you were the only one offering it to him in this fucked up timeline. But given the choice, I'm sure he_ never _would have chosen lonely, pathetic, insecure Hermione Granger._

This Hermione hadn't heard him say that yet. And he'd had no idea, at the time, he was hitting on an existing insecurity. He never would have said it had he known.

"For me, it was always about you," Hermione continued talking when she saw Draco wasn't going to speak. "I admit, I fell for your future self before your present one - but I wasn't chasing anything else."

She turned back to the bedroom but Draco caught her arm and pulled her close, resting his forehead against hers. He took several deep breaths before finally saying, "I'm not chasing something else, Hermione."

"Don't lie to me Draco," she said sternly, then pulled back so she could see his face clearly. "I can see the doubt in your eyes.

Draco sighed. "Ask me again why Astoria and I broke up."

"What?"

"Just ask."

"Okay, why did you split up?"

"I saw a future with a wife I loved more than anything, and she loved me in return. Astoria loved me as much as that woman from the future, or she could have, if I had let her. But _I_ didn't love her, and I knew I never would." Draco raised his hand to Hermione's cheek and began stroking it with his thumb.

"I'm not just interested in anyone who offers me love; I'm looking for someone I can love back." He paused to sigh, then continued, "It's hard for me to comfort you now, because I don't feel that way about you yet, but- I know myself. If I say I love you, and I gave you this-" he pulled her left hand up and rubbed her engagement ring with his fingers, "- then it's true. I know I wouldn't lie."

She nodded and rested her forehead against his chest and he began to stroke her back. They stood there for what felt like ages.

"Now, I think it's only fair for me to ask," he said after a time, hoping to lighten the mood. "Why did you break up with Weasley?"

He felt her laugh against his chest and saw her shake her head.

"Well, I think I know why. It was obviously because of me. But when?"

She pushed away from him and he was relieved to see a smile had returned to her face. "You're so obnoxious. I did not break up with him because of you, no matter how many times you claim I did."

He knew she'd later tell him: _"You said everything you knew you needed to say, to get me to break up with Ron,"_ but decided now wasn't the best time to point it out.

"Okay, then why did you two split up?"

Hermione smiled to herself. "He was the easy choice, not the right one."

Draco started at the phrasing. This had become a sort of mantra of his since the war. A few months following the final battle, they'd published a copy of Dumbledore's speeches in the Daily Prophet. One line from the speech he'd given following Diggory's death had stuck out to Draco.

_Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort._

Draco hadn't heeded Dumbledore's advice at the time, but he'd committed to not making that mistake again. He wouldn't just go along with things because they were easy anymore.

"Did I tell you that? About Dumbledore?"

"Dumbledore? Oh…" Hermione paused, as if remembering something. "That's why it sounded so familiar. It was a quote of his."

So Draco had told her part of it, but not the source. He wondered when he'd done that. Their timelines were getting so intertwined, it was hard to keep track anymore. This entire loop was just his life now.

"I'm going to turn in," she leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm sorry for ruining your night. Did you bid on anything at the auction?"

"Yeah, we did, before the other version of you disappeared. A one week stay at a gorgeous house on a beach in Bali, to use for our honeymoon in a few months. I guess I'll find out tomorrow if we won it."

Draco thought back to the night he'd invaded their honeymoon. "You won that."

She raised her eyebrows at him and he knew she wanted to ask for details, but she remained silent and smirked at him instead.

It hit him then. This was the same witch who would convince him to talk to her about the war as they watched the moon reflecting off the ocean, outside a house on a beach in Bali that they won at the silent auction tonight.

She would listen carefully, then give him the support and acceptance he needed to begin to move past that trauma. She was also the same witch who would stay with him until he fell asleep after having a nightmare. And the same person who would tease him at his 24th birthday party while chatting comfortably with his friends.

The same person who only wanted him for comfort when some unknown tragedy had driven her to tears. Who would later say she loved him no matter what time he was from. And also, the same witch who was sitting in the Ministry Archives in her time now, fitting sessions into what he knew was an unbelievably full work schedule, just to help someone she didn't even like.

Every Granger and Hermione he'd met were all the same person and he wondered why it had taken him so long to come to terms with that.

Before she turned to go back into the bedroom, he pulled her in for one last kiss. This one was soft and slow and felt completely different than the ones from earlier that night. When Draco tilted her chin up to deepen the kiss, she linked her hands behind his neck and pulled him closer to her.

He felt like he was completely melting into her and an ache appeared in his chest at the thought of having to leave her soon to go back to his time. It was Draco who ended the kiss this time but when he moved to pull away, she kept her arms linked behind his head and whispered in his ear.

"You say you don't love me yet, but I think that kiss says otherwise." She gave him one last peck on the jaw before finally disappearing into the bedroom, closing the door softly behind her.

Draco stood in the hall for what felt like hours, listening to his heart pounding hard in his chest and remembering the words his future self had written:

_Hermione is the answer to every question that plagues you right now. She will fix it all, if you let her. You won't feel lonely or unmoored anymore. But you need to give her a fucking chance._

* * *

_Present Time: June 2001 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

The next week, when Draco met Hermione at the Ministry, he could not focus on the task she'd set for him. All he wanted to do was kiss her and see how it would compare to when he'd kissed her in the future.

He kept glancing over at her and the more he did so, the more he saw the alluring Hermione he'd snogged at the silent auction. She was right, she did look about the same now as she did then. The only real difference was how she wore her hair.

"Malfoy!"

He snapped out of his reverie, worried he'd been caught, but she hadn't seemed to notice his attention. She was looking back at him with a huge smile and Draco thought to himself how much prettier she looked when she was smiling. That was another reason he'd thought her future self was more attractive, this one rarely smiled around him.

Her lips were moving and Draco was thinking about how soft they'd felt against his-

_Focus, you idiot!_

He blinked and looked away from her mouth, trying to listen to the words she was saying, "-and I think I figured it out."

That snapped Draco out of his thoughts. "Wait, what?"

"I figured it out!" she repeated, then she did a small dance in her chair which was unbelievably cute.

_What happened to you? Are you a fucking Hufflepuff now?_

"Right, uh - so tell me - what did you figure out?"

She bent over her notebook and Draco leaned closer to her so he could see the notes she was pointing at, trying hard not to touch her or smell her or think about kissing her exposed neck-

_Look at the fucking notes you dolt!_

"-we know you have pieces of the time turner in your blood," she was saying, "and we know that at random points the magic activates and you go either forward or back in time. But the strange part is how the version of you, in that time, comes to the timeline you left. That's not how time turners typically work."

She turned to look at him and jumped slightly in her chair, apparently surprised to find him so close. Draco leaned back slightly. "Right. So, what did you figure out?"

She seemed excited to have a captive audience and continued enthusiastically, "I'm getting there. So, we also know time turners are created with strong protective magic because of how dangerous they can be when broken. As we've seen, their magic becomes very unstable."

Draco sighed. "Are you going to get to the point of all this soon?"

She rolled her eyes, but continued her explanation, drawing a diagram in her notebook now. Draco took the opportunity to lean close to her again. "When one Malfoy jumps to the past or future, the time turner in his blood goes with him." She drew a stick figure with an arrow on the paper.

"Then there are two Malfoys in that time and two pieces of time turner flowing through his blood." She added another stick figure next to that one.

"The only reason for the other Malfoy to get pulled back," she circled the second stick figure, then drew an arrow, "would be if something was pulling him back to that other time."

Draco nodded, "Okay, I guess that makes sense. So, what's pulling me back?"

She smiled widely and turned to look at him. "The time turner."

Draco was confused and he could tell Hermione was enjoying it.

"There has to be another piece of the time turner, in both times. That's the only explanation." She started drawing on the paper again. "The version of you that travels activated the magic, but the shard of the time turner, not currently in you, stays behind."

"The shard in the new time is initially bonded to the version of you that is traveling, since your pieces of the turner are active, and the other you is thrown back to be bonded with the other time turner shard. It's anchoring you, or, I guess you can say, it's trying its best to stay whole - because of the protective magic."

"And the reason you never stay away for months or years is because it takes a few hours, or sometimes days, for the protective magic to correct itself and the time turners to realize they are bonded to the wrong version, then they throw both of your selves back to their correct times. Then - well, it all repeats."

She looked back at him expectantly then and didn't seem to mind how close he was this time.

"Fuck," he muttered and she beamed back at him. "You are fucking brilliant."

"Yes," she nodded, then dropped her head, a little embarrassed, "I've been called the brightest witch of my age."

"More than that, brightest witch in ages, I'd say," Draco added, thinking through the implication of what she'd just said. Hermione was blushing now and he smiled at her, then watched her blush deepen.

"You know what this means, right?" she asked as she shifted away from him. His mind was racing and he barely had time to register his disappointment at having her out of reach again.

"Merlin. I can reverse this."

"Exactly, there is a piece of the time turner in this time. You just need to find it. Then you can make an extraction potion to remove the pieces of the time turner flowing around your bloodstream."

Draco thought the time turner had been vanished by the house elves along with the other objects in the room. If it was still around, there was only one person who would have it. His father.

"Do you know where it could be?"

"I have an idea."

Hermione nodded back at him, then began packing up her notes. Draco was thinking through the reasons his father would have had for keeping the broken time turner. He must know a lot more than Draco originally suspected. Did he know those pieces were the key to reversing this? If so, why hadn't he offered them to Draco already?

"Malfoy," Hermione was looking back at him nervously while she fiddled with the strap of her bag.

"What?"

"I think I should tell you that when I talked to your future self last week, he didn't want to work on the research with me. He said he didn't want to stop the time jumps."

"What? Why not?"

"He said his life was good and that he didn't want to change anything."

Draco recalled the words from his letter: _I know you hate the time jumping. But believe me, you'll come to see this for the blessing it is._

"What would happen if I ended it all right now? Wouldn't the time jumps just stop? But I should still remember everything I've seen so far, right?"

She shook her head. "I've been thinking about it, since he said that, and I don't think that's how it would work. Or, well, maybe it would for you, since you've done all your jumps to the future, but my timeline would certainly change."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, consider our friendship…" she trailed off, like she was waiting for him to protest at her use of that word, but he just nodded for her to continue. "Uh, this all came about because you jumped from the future to eat lunch with me. Then you loaned me a book, and I stopped by your flat to return the book, then well, we know what happened. If you stop time jumping right now, you won't do those jumps to the past to see me. You won't take me to the library to get that book, and I would never have a reason to return it. Don't you see?"

"We wouldn't be friends…"

"Right, so you said we were friends in the future you visited. We probably wouldn't be anymore. So, we'd both just get thrown into an alternate reality where this entire relationship never happened. And well, that's just me and you. I don't know the details of your other relationships, but if anything relies on time jumps you haven't made yet, those wouldn't happen anymore."

Draco was silent as he thought through the implication of her words. He'd been desperate to end the time jumps but hadn't really thought through the consequences. He wouldn't have Hermione in his life anymore.

"But I still would have jumped to the future, right? What would I have seen?"

Hermione shrugged. "Probably an altered version of the future. So your memories of all those jumps forward will likely change as soon as you break the time loop."

Draco tried to think through what that alternate future would look like. Would he still be with Astoria? Would they be engaged? Isn't that what he thought he'd wanted?

"Uh, I know this is a lot, Malfoy. And the decision will be really complicated, but we don't even have the other pieces of the time turner yet, so it's all just theoretical."

He nodded back at her, comforted slightly by her smile. "So what did you and my future self do? I meant to ask."

She rolled her eyes. "He was grumpy. He was wearing dress robes and said he'd been taken away from a hot date. I'm guessing you got to enjoy her?" she asked in a mocking tone.

Draco nodded and couldn't help but smile at the memory of how Hermione had looked that night and how incredible it had felt to kiss her.

This Hermione in front of him blushed again and shook her head, obviously annoyed. "That poor girl," she muttered under her breath, then asked, curiously, "did she notice that you'd switched?"

"She knew about the time jumping. She was expecting it and even had a change of clothes for me."

"Oh, how nice of her," she said sharply. "Anyway, I have a meeting to run to. Bye Malfoy." She left then to catch the lift.

Draco smirked to himself as he watched her leave, hoping that the bitterness in her tone meant she was slightly jealous of his "hot date." He began packing his bag, then sighed as he remembered that she was still dating Weasley.

He wasn't exactly sure yet how he wanted to proceed with the Hermione from this time and was still working through his feelings for her. But one thing he was certain of, was that he needed to get her to dump Weasley. She implied in the future that he'd had a hand in the breakup, but Draco would have to proceed carefully. Luckily, he wasn't a Slytherin for nothing.

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

The next week Hermione was studying with Malfoy, trying to find more details on alternate realities and timelines. She hoped they'd find a clearer answer to the question of what would happen if he suddenly stopped jumping through time.

Now, they were reading the journals of the wizard Malfoy had discovered months ago, who had willingly injected the sand from a time turner into his bloodstream. He hadn't been heard from since he made himself into a human time turner, but he'd done a lot of research before leaving his time that could be helpful.

"This bloke was a nutter," Malfoy said eventually, then pushed back from the table and sighed.

"Why, what did you find?"

"Nothing new, just- why would he do this to himself with no idea what would happen?"

She shrugged, "He just seems like someone who was very dedicated to his research. And it doesn't seem like he had a family or many friends, so what did he have to lose?"

"Well, his inheritance, for one," Malfoy motioned toward the book in front of him. "This is all just legal jargon about whether or not he could inherit once he began his time jumps."

"Let me see," he moved the journal to her and she began reading eagerly. " _Absens haeres non erit,"_ Hermione muttered under her breath, interested in this unique implementation of the legal argument she'd been researching lately.

"When did you learn obscure legal jargon related to inheritance law? I thought you worked on new legislation for creatures' rights."

"Well I do but-" she stopped reading and looked up at him, "how did you know that?" She'd talked to future Malfoy about her job, but not this one.

He shrugged, "I work in politics too. Now tell me, why are you so interested in inheritance laws?"

"Well, it's not inheritance laws specifically that I'm interested in. I've been researching common, ancient pureblood legal practices. It just turns out most of the documents are related to inheritance. Not surprising," she added coldly.

"What does that have to do with creatures' rights?"

"Oh, it doesn't," she looked away from him then, suddenly embarrassed.

"So, it's just a fun hobby?" he teased. "How do you have time for anything on top of your current job and all this," he motioned to the pile of journals in front of them.

She glared back at him, "Oh I didn't hear you complaining earlier about my offer to help you with all this. And it was me who figured out-"

"Easy Hermione," he held his hands up in surrender. "If you want to work yourself to death, who am I to get in your way? And for the record, I'm not complaining, I appreciate the help. I was just curious, that's all"

She nodded and wondered how he would react if he knew the real reason she was working so hard on ancient laws. She decided to take a chance and tell him then, a test of sorts, to see how far this Malfoy had come from the bigot he was in school.

"Actually, I want to be Minister for Magic down the road. I mean, not soon, obviously, but maybe in 20 years. Understanding the intricacies of the old laws will help me, I think, since purebloods are still very influential in politics." She steeled herself then, waiting for him to laugh or at least make fun of her, but he didn't.

"Wow, so you're preparing now for a job you hope to have in 20 years? That's impressive, Hermione." And he did actually look impressed. She relaxed a little. Then hesitated before asking.

"Do you think it's possible? For, uh- someone like me?"

"A Muggleborn?"

She nodded. "And a witch."

He took the time to actually consider her question, which she appreciated. When she'd asked Ron, he'd said 'yes' in a rush, then changed the subject.

"It will be harder for you, without a doubt," Malfoy said. "And if you tried today - you know, if you were old enough, I mean- I'm not sure you would win. But with more time for the wizarding world to progress socially, and the right campaign manager, yeah, I think you could win." Then he added with a smile, "If it were any other Muggleborn witch I'd say no, but seeing how it's you, and you have this uncanny ability to achieve what you set your mind to, why not?"

Hermione smiled widely, feeling lighter at the unexpected compliment. She was finally starting to see glimmers of the future Malfoy, who would be kind to her, in this version of him. "Thanks."

He was looking at her seriously now, like he was considering something, then he said after a long while, "Weasley doesn't approve of this plan, does he?"

Hermione was caught off guard by the question, which was probably why the disappointment flashed on her face before she had a chance to school her features. Ron didn't approve, but he didn't disapprove. She knew he wasn't very enthusiastic about such a demanding choice of career. But, they had only discussed it once and she had gotten the impression he hadn't really taken her plans seriously.

"That's none of your business," she said matter-of-factly.

He was silent again, then turned his chair so he was facing her and started talking in a rush. "I know you're going to hex me for saying this, but you need to hear it. You seem to be able to set an impossible goal and work slowly to achieve it. I saw it in school, I heard about what you did in the war, and even working with you on this research, I can see it. You're clever and have an unmatched work ethic, which gives me no doubt, if you want to be Minister for Magic, you'll make it happen."

Hermione didn't know what to say and wondered why he said she'd want to hex him since so far everything he'd said was incredibly nice. Then he continued, "But then, in your personal life, you gave up. Weasley is rubbish for you. I know he's a nice guy, and loyal and brave and all that, but he is not the guy for you. You're settling for him because he's an easy choice. I think you're scared that no one else will be there if you let him go. But you need to give yourself more credit and let yourself hope for more in your personal life, just as you do at work."

When he stopped talking an uneasy silence settled between them and he was looking back at her intently. She was stunned, but soon anger started to rise in her chest. "You know nothing about me or my relationship with Ron! How dare you make a judgement like that."

"Hermione, I just meant-"

"No! And who are you to talk about easy choices? Look at you and your girlfriend. The perfect pureblood socialite. How predictable," she said nastily.

She expected him to be angry, but he just nodded back at her. "You're right."

"What?"

"You're right about Astoria. And that's why I broke up with her a few months ago."

"Oh," Hermione was stunned into silence, then sat back in her chair, unsure what to say.

"I thought we'd end up married when I first started dating her," he admitted and she cocked her head at him in confusion.

"What changed?"

"Like you said, she was the easy choice. And I-" he looked away from her toward the shelf behind her, avoiding her gaze. "I've tried that in the past, choosing the easy way. I ended up branded and forced to do unspeakable things." When he looked back at her, his eyes were intense.

"Not that Astoria is anything like the Dark Lord, of course. I just- I've been more on guard when easy choices come along. I want to choose what's right, not easy."

The words seemed familiar to Hermione, but she couldn't place them. She nodded back at him, impressed with his dedication to not repeat the same mistakes he'd make in the war.

"I think you know what I mean," he added, and her eyes flashed with anger then as she realized he was back on the topic of her and Ron.

She grabbed her wand from the desk and before he could react she'd pointed it at him and shouted, " _Prurito!"_

He scrambled for his wand and raised a shield charm, but it was too late, her hex had already hit him square in the chest. She sneered back at him while he inspected his torso, probably trying to figure out what she'd cast on him.

"I guess you were right, I did hex you for saying that. Your future self said something about Ron too and I told him this, and now I'll tell you: This is completely inappropriate and if you mention Ron again I'm calling this entire thing off. You can research these stupid journals yourself." She rose to pack her bag but he pulled her arm and she backed away out of his reach.

"I get it, no more talk about your precious boyfriend. But don't leave. We can talk about heritance laws. And- uh - maybe you can tell me what you hit me with?" he looked down at his chest again.

She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms, "You'll find out soon enough. And if you can tell me one thing I don't already know about inheritance law, I'll stay."

His eyes glittered with amusement and he started rubbing his jaw with his hand, "Okay, I have something. Did you know there was once a portrait who inherited the entire Malfoy estate over the eldest living male heir?"

"No way."

"Yes, there was a loophole in the law that allowed the master of the estate to pass the fortune onto himself, after he died. He was made into a portrait and the portrait ran the estate."

"Couldn't they just destroy the portrait?"

Malfoy laughed, "Yeah, actually, that's what happened. But it took a year to get all the enchantments off of it."

She studied his face to see if he was lying, but it was impossible to tell. "I don't believe you."

"I have the documents to prove it back at the Manor, I'll owl them over to you tonight."

She was silent, then smirked when she saw him squirm. The hex she'd cast was obviously working. His eyes flashed with annoyance. "An itching charm? But the incantation wasn't right."

Her smile grew. "I modified it. It's milder than an itching charm, but also-"

"Let me guess, irreversible."

She nodded and laughed when she saw him tense up and take a deep breath. The effects of the charm weren't painful, just incredibly annoying. Ron likened it to having to wear a very itchy wool sweater against your bare skin. She realized this was probably especially annoying for Malfoy who was used to wearing only the finest fabrics.

"Do you still want to stay and talk about inheritance laws?" she asked in a mocking tone.

He glowered at her and nodded, "Yes. But I believe you were saying you didn't believe me about the portrait."

She shrugged and took a seat at the table. "You can send me the documents tonight."

He joined her at the table and kept switching his position, obviously unable to get comfortable. "How long is this going to last?"

"It should wear off in three or four hours. Maybe closer to four; I was really angry when I cast it. Now stop complaining, we're supposed to be talking about inheritance law."

He narrowed his eyes at her, but when she asked him more about the incident with the portrait he explained the event in more detail, then told her about other obscure clauses in the laws he'd come across. He stayed true to his word and didn't bring up Ron again. She figured he mostly did that to avoid another hex.

But, as soon as he was gone, their conversation about Ron came back to her, and it stayed with her for the rest of the week. Was she just staying with Ron because he was easy? Malfoy said she was worried no one else would want her and if she really was honest with herself, that was true. A part of her was still that insecure girl from Hogwarts who was bullied for having bushy hair and buck teeth.

She always chose the right path, even when it was hard. She was proud of herself for that, but when was the last time she'd done that in her personal life? How many times had she postponed a hard conversation with Ron, just to avoid a fight? How many times did she keep from mentioning something that was important to her, worried Ron wouldn't approve?

Malfoy was right. She'd prioritized being a good girlfriend to Ron over being true to herself. And what made everything worse was Malfoy's admission about Astoria Greengrass and why he'd broken it off. Could she really stand to live in a world where Draco Malfoy had more courage than her?

* * *

_Present Time: July 2001_

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

"I think I may actually make the team. Not like it matters...but it's nice to know I'm good enough," Hermione was barely listening to Ginny as she talked about a recent series of try-outs she'd participated in with some of her teammates.

"That is great Ginny, it's always nice to feel appreciated." Hermione was watching Ron talking to Harry from across the room, then looked over and saw Ginny had stopped talking and was watching Harry.

It hit her then, as she saw Ginny looking at Harry. That this was what a couple in love should be like. Ginny and Harry adored each other. They were a mess and fought constantly, but there was a passion there that she and Ron never had. Ron felt more like a good friend she happened to have sex with on occasion. But she didn't love him as deeply as she should.

She wanted more for herself, and he deserved more too. Malfoy's words from earlier in the week had infected her thoughts like a poison and she couldn't get the thought that she was settling with Ron out of her mind.

_Stupid Draco Malfoy._

Though, really, the doubt had been there already. He had just finally put words to what she'd been feeling for months.

By the time they got back to Hermione's flat Ron had picked up on her bad mood.

"What's wrong?" he asked as soon as they'd removed their robes.

Hermione took a deep breath. It was time to be brave and finally talk to him. "Ron, I don't think we love each other like Harry and Ginny do."

"Harry and Ginny?" he snorted. "They're constantly fighting."

"Well, they are clinging to each other too hard, but there's a passion between them that we don't have."

"You want us to fight more?" Ron cocked his eyebrow at her, then smiled, obviously thinking this was some type of joke.

"No - of course not. I just - I feel like maybe we've become good friends who mostly live together. We get on great, but we each deserve more."

Ron's face fell. "So - you're saying you don't love me anymore? Are you breaking up with me? Is that what this is?"

Ron's blue eyes were sad and pleading and Hermione took another deep breath, summoning all the courage she could muster. She was finally ready to have the conversation she should have had with Ron ages ago. "Let's sit, we should talk."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, now we're getting somewhere. I wanted to be sure Draco wasn't the reason Hermione and Ron broke up. He definitely nudged her in this direction, but I've been dropping hints for a long time now showing that Hermione was already feeling like something was wrong.
> 
> Many thanks to my beta reader Lancashire Witch! Her family caught COVID recently and she has been dealing with major drama in her house, but that hasn't stopped her from dutifully reading through my chapters. Thanks Carol!
> 
> You can follow me over on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson to see aesthetics and a few behind the scenes drabbles for each chapter. Thanks so much for reading, please let me know what you think.
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Sat, Nov-14. I'm going to shift to a Sat / Mon / Thurs update schedule starting next week since that works better with my real life. Also, in personal news, my husband has gifted me a trip to the mountains this weekend and I will be in a hotel room alone with NO KIDS! I plan to get a TON of writing done then so I can keep these updates coming three times a week.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

_I think you were always meant to know me a little better than anyone else. And our lives were fated to converge like some cosmic dance. I know there is a terrible distance between us. But our bodies are made of celestial light, and we are hurtling toward space and time, toward the most beautiful collision._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: July 2001_

* * *

** Harry Potter **

Ginny was using her wand to float the dirty plates and cups into the sink when Harry got back to the kitchen after saying goodbye to Neville and Hannah. He watched her for a few minutes before finally moving to help with some of the clean-up.

"What do you want to do with all these decorations?" he asked. "We'll just be pulling them all out in a few weeks for your birthday, so I can shrink them and stuff them in the closet, if you don't mind reusing them."

She kept her gaze on the dishes, which had started washing themselves in the sink, "I have no problem with used things, you know how I grew up. There should be some room in the hall," she waved toward the closet in the hall and Harry quickly got rid of the decorations, then returned and set the broom to sweeping.

They worked in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Harry was hoping she would start talking, specifically about what he'd overheard her saying to Hermione earlier, but she didn't seem like she would. She was humming to herself with a small smile on her face.

Was she thinking about what it would be like to move to Spain and play on their Quidditch team? When had she planned to tell Harry about this? Did she intend to continue dating him, or were they going to split up? And how could she look so calm and content with such a big life change ahead of her?

"What's wrong?" Ginny finally noticed Harry and was looking back at him concerned.

"You tell me."

Her face fell and she sighed, then stopped the spell that was washing the dishes and turned to him with her hands on her hips. "You're really going to start a fight today? On your birthday?"

"I'm not starting a fight, Gin," he bit back defensively. "I just want to know when you were going to tell me that you're planning to move to Spain."

She rolled her eyes then marched out of the room. Harry followed her back into the sitting room where she was pacing. "You heard me talking to Hermione, didn't you?"

He nodded.

"And then you immediately jumped to the conclusion that I was moving to Spain? You really think I would do something like that without talking to you?"

"Why did you try-out for their Quidditch team?"

She stopped pacing and turned back to him. "For fun Harry! That was it. A few of my teammates and I did it for a fun challenge."

"Then why keep it a secret?"

"Because I knew you would do this!"

"This?"

"This classic Harry move where you assume the worst of me." Her face was twisted in anger and Harry immediately went on the defensive.

"Well, if you hate me so much then maybe you should take that job," he snapped.

"You're right Harry. It would be an incredible opportunity to be a star chaser."

"I don't want to get in your way. If you want to be an international Quidditch star, this is the logical next step. Don't let me hold you back."

She sighed and started rubbing her temples. "What are we saying? Is that what you want? For me to go to Spain?"

He crossed his arms and said dejectedly, "It's your life Gin."

She looked back at him sadly and dropped her head, then said to the ground. "I don't want to be an international Quidditch star, Harry. Do you know what I want to be?"

"No."

She looked back up at him and her eyes were still sad. "I know you don't, because you refuse to discuss the future with me."

He sighed. "Okay, tell me. What do you want to be?"

She bit her lip and carefully placed both of her hands on Harry's shoulders. She waited a few seconds before talking, as if half-expecting him to brush her off. He took a deep, calming breath and waited for her to speak.

"I want to be a mother. I want to stay home with my kids - our kids - at least while they're young. Then when they're older, get a fun side-job, like Quidditch reporting."

Harry's heart dropped and he felt immediately guilty. She wanted to be a mum? With him? He'd never dared discuss anything so serious with her before, but he should have. They'd been dating for over two years now. He closed his eyes, no longer able to bear looking at the sad expression he'd caused on her face.

"Everything I'm doing now, the Quidditch, the try-outs, it's just for fun. I want to be here with you, not in Spain. But when are you going to trust me Harry? When are you going to believe me when I tell you I love you?"

When Harry opened his eyes again, she was looking back at him fiercely. He pulled her into a hug and murmured into her hair, "I do trust you, Ginny."

She shook her head and stepped out of his grasp. "You don't. And if you can't trust me, how is this going to work?"

Harry took a deep breath and reached out to grab her hands. "I love you," he murmured, "Sometimes, I think it's impossible that you chose me and I'm worried you're going to realize how screwed up I am and take off."

"I know Harry," she said in a tired voice. "But I want to be with you, and I want you to be okay with it and stop beating yourself up about it. You have this unwavering self-confidence in every other aspect of your life, but when it comes to me, you fall apart."

She sighed deeply, then added, "Maybe it's us, maybe we aren't right for each other. I don't think it's supposed to be this hard."

"No," he responded forcefully. "It's nothing to do with you, it's me. I just- give me a chance, I promise I'm working on it."

This was a bit of a stretch, Harry knew. When he told his healer about his problems with Ginny, he'd pointed out that Harry probably had issues accepting love because of his childhood and because he'd been abandoned by every parent figured he'd ever had. And this made sense to Harry, but he had no idea how to fix it and his healer said he had to come to peace with it on his own.

But anytime it seemed to Harry like Ginny was going to leave him, even if the fear was unfounded, like now, he'd lose his cool and lash out at her. He knew all of this conflict between him and Ginny was his fault but had no idea how to stop it in the moment. But if he didn't figure it out soon, he'd lose her.

Ginny's eyes were wet now and Harry's chest clenched painfully. "I'm going to the Burrow tonight," she said in a low voice.

"No Gin, please don't leave-"

"I'm not leaving you Harry, it's just one night away. I need the break and I think if I stick around tonight, we'll just fight and I'll say something I'll regret." She placed a kiss on his cheek, then before he could protest further, she disappeared up the stairs.

He leaned against the wall and listened to her rummaging around his bedroom, then dropped his face in his hands when he heard the loud crack that meant she'd disapparated.

Harry glowered at the sitting room, then picked up a lamp and threw it violently against the wall. It didn't make him feel any better, so he started pacing the room instead. After a few minutes, he still felt like shite, so he approached the fireplace and threw in a pile of Floo powder before saying, "Hermione and Ginny's flat," and walking into the green flames.

* * *

Harry knew something was wrong as soon as he appeared in the flat. Hermione and Ron were sitting on opposite sides of the couch and it was obvious they'd both been crying.

"Shit, what happened?" he asked in a rush, scanning the room for danger.

Hermione burst into tears and dropped her face in her hands and Harry was confused when Ron stayed put and didn't move to comfort her. Harry crouched next to her instead and put a hand on her back while looking curiously at Ron.

"Don't know why _she's_ crying," his friend grumbled, "since she's the one who broke up with me."

"You broke up?" Harry whipped his head back toward Hermione for confirmation, and she looked up and nodded sadly back at him.

"It wasn't like that Ron," she said through her sobs. "We both agreed."

"I know Hermione, I know," he sighed heavily, "but I still hate it."

Harry stood up and started pacing, "Why? What happened?" If Ron and Hermione couldn't make it work, he and Ginny didn't stand a chance. Ron and Hermione seemed so content and calm, they were never fighting, as far he could tell, and he thought if they'd been having problems, he'd have been the first to know about it.

Ron looked over at Hermione, waiting to see if she would start talking, but she was still sobbing silently. He sighed, then finally scooted over to join her on the other end of the couch and placed a tentative arm around her. She bent her head against his chest and resumed her silent crying.

"Simply put," Ron started in a dead voice, "we don't want the same things. I love her, and she loves me, but, ultimately, we don't like any of the same things and don't have the same goals in life. So, while we may work well in the short term, over time, we'd probably come to resent each other."

He sighed, then looked down at Hermione, who had stopped crying and was looking back up at him. "Did I get that right?"

She pushed back to sitting and turned to face him, "You said you understood. That you agreed. But you're saying it like it's all me and-"

"I understand Hermione, intellectually but- I still love you, and this hurts like hell." Harry felt extremely awkward watching this but had no idea how to excuse himself. And for some reason he couldn't look away.

"I get the feeling you've been thinking about this for months, but it's all new for me. So, give me a second to catch up to you, okay?"

She nodded, then settled back against his chest and he sighed and leaned his head against the couch.

"Uh, I can leave you two alone-"

"No," Ron said, still looking up at the ceiling. "I assume you came to tell us about some row with Ginny. Go ahead, it'll be good to think about someone else's problems for awhile."

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

Draco was eating dinner with his parents and half-listening to his mother describe her plans for her annual Halloween Ball, while he shot furtive glances at his father every few minutes. Did he have the time turner pieces? And if so, why had he kept them? Should Draco just come out and ask for them? Did Draco even want them?

If he stopped the time jumping now, he likely wouldn't have Hermione in his life. But wouldn't everything be so much easier if he'd never seen his future with her?

_Easy, perhaps. But maybe not right._

He sighed and took another bite, turning his gaze back toward his mother. All he knew for sure was that he wanted to kiss Hermione again and if he extracted the time turner pieces from his blood now, that wouldn't happen.

"Who will be you taking to the ball this year, Draco?" his mother asked.

Draco sighed. So she'd heard about Astoria. He was a little surprised it had taken her this long to bring it up.

"I assume by the question, you heard Astoria and I split up." He saw his father perk up from the other end of the table.

"What happened?" his mother asked.

"It just wasn't the right fit. I didn't love her."

"Sometimes, you're lucky to find a proper match with someone you love," his mother stopped to smile at his father, "but you know Draco, that is not always the case. You may have to settle for someone who is loyal and will be a supportive wife. Someone you can be content with."

"I want to be more than content," he argued, then added a bit recklessly, "maybe with an imperfect match."

"Please tell me this isn't about the Granger girl," his father drawled. His mother hitched her breath and Draco froze. How did his father know about Hermione?

"What?"

"Did you really not think I'd hear about your meetings at the Ministry?"

Draco tried to look casual as he shrugged, "We're researching something."

"Care to share, son?"

They regarded each other for a moment and Draco was sure then that his father knew exactly what they were researching. But it didn't seem like his mother knew. After a few more seconds of silence, his father changed the conversation.

Draco had no idea what he knew and wondered how many times his father had encountered a Draco from the wrong time. He should confess everything and get his father's help with removing the pieces. But he wasn't finished with Hermione.

And when it came to her, he was at a loss of what to do. He knew he wanted to kiss her, and he knew he wanted her to dump her boyfriend, but past that...did he really want to date her? Would it be worth the fallout, once his parents and friends found out? The more he thought about it, the worse it sounded. But when he stopped thinking and just focused on how it felt to be with her, it seemed right.

* * *

_Present Time: August 2001 / Draco's Time: March 2002_

* * *

** Hermione Granger **

The next time Hermione saw Malfoy in the Ministry Archives, it took her a few minutes to recognize that he wasn't from her time. He looked almost identical to the Malfoy she was used to, but his mood was off. He was annoyed and incredibly distracted.

"Are you from a different time?"

He nodded and gave her a small smile, the first one she'd seen that day, "You're extremely good at picking up on it."

"What time are you from?" Hermione opened the notebook where they kept track of the dates of all his time travel.

"March 2002."

She froze and looked up at him, then closed her mouth when she realized it was hanging open. "But that means you travel to the past as soon as this upcoming March. That's just six months away. Does that mean the middle theory is wrong?"

Hermione had a theory that once Malfoy reached the middle of the six-year time loop, all his jumps would start happening in reverse. So far, he'd only jumped forward and those were impossible to predict, but once he passed the midway point all his jumps would be known, since he'd been keeping track of the dates.

Even if they hadn't managed to stop his time jumping by then, it would be much more manageable since he'd know when they were all going to happen. But, if he had traveled to the past in March 2002, then maybe that entire theory was wrong.

He didn't answer her and shrugged noncommittally instead. "I should go. I can't learn new things out of order like this."

He got up to leave and Hermione went back to her notes and started scribbling in the new information from this jump to see how it fit in.

"Hermione, you should take a break too," she looked back at him, surprised to find he was still there. "You're working too hard on this and it's not even your problem."

She shrugged and turned back to her notes, "I like it. It's a very complicated puzzle." Also, it was a nice distraction from having to think about her breakup with Ron - though she wasn't going to tell him that.

When she looked back up at Malfoy she could tell there was something wrong with him, but she knew she couldn't ask for details, in case it had anything to do with something specific going on in the future.

"Are you okay Malfoy?"

"I'm fine," he said, avoiding her gaze. "I'm just fucking exhausted." He gave her a curt nod, then finally left her alone.

She shook her head. She thought she'd preferred the future Malfoy, but now she actually missed her Malfoy.

 _My Malfoy? Good God. Present day Malfoy_ , she corrected in her mind.

* * *

_Present Time: March 2002 / Draco's Time: August 2001_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

When Draco time jumped again, he appeared on a broomstick and nearly crashed into a tree. He pulled the broom hard to the side and managed to get control and float gently to the bottom. He was shocked when he saw the date was just six months in the future: _March 15, 2002._ He didn't expect to start traveling to the past so quickly.

Did that mean all his jumps after next March would be to the past? His heart dropped. He wasn't ready to stop seeing future Hermione.

He went back to his flat and found it looked almost exactly like it did in his time, then he waited around, unsure what to do. He hoped Hermione would stop by, but she never did. And he didn't know if they had a study session setup today. He considered owling her, but didn't want to seem desperate.

A full day passed with no visitors and when he got back to his time, he tried to bury his disappointment by working on investments. He should have gone to find Hermione - but he was scared of what he'd find.

What if they still weren't together? He'd finally began to accept them dating as an eventuality and was even starting to look forward to it. Though clearly, he'd have to do something to move it along. But it was so hard since she was still incredibly guarded around him.

* * *

_Present Time: August 2001 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

"What do you think happens in 2006?" Hermione asked during their next session.

"What do you mean? Why do you think something happens?"

"Well...you haven't made any time jumps later than February 2006, that we know of. There was the first jump with a question mark, that might be later, but then all the rest are before that. So it stands to reason that something happens around February 2006 to stop the time jumping. Do you think you find the last piece of the time turner and make an extraction potion?"

Draco shook his head. "I always thought of it as this strange loop bound by the first jump. And the first jump was dictated by how many times I initially turned the time turner, which was just over six turns."

"Hmm," was all she said and he could tell she was deep in thought. "Well, either way, it will be good if the middle theory does turn out to be correct, since you'll be able to anticipate all the jumps. I guess we'll find out in six months."

Draco smiled. So she was still planning to keep these going in six months, even though they'd mostly run out of topics to research. They were reading through the ramblings of that nutter, who'd done this to himself willingly, but after that, he didn't know what they'd fill these times with and he was worried she'd cut them off.

When he looked back at Hermione, she was studying him and he raised his eyebrows at her, "What?"

"I was just wondering if you've thought more about whether you would want to stop the time jumping, if you could."

This was a loaded question. "I don't know. I've been reading more about alternate realities and I think you're right. I would go to an alternate life where none of the time jumping happened at all, or maybe half of it did. It seems dangerous to mess with it."

"Yeah, that's why the Ministry destroyed all the time turners in Britain. Well-" she smirked at him, "all the ones they knew about. It would be too easy for someone to change the outcome of the war, even by accident. They might be trying to prevent a terrible event, but it may have been necessary."

Draco nodded, then gulped before turning the conversation to what he knew would be a difficult topic. "So the day at the Manor, you wouldn't change that, if you could?"

He saw her tense up and she dropped his gaze and looked down at her lap before answering. "No, I wouldn't. It was awful, but it led us to Griphook, and without him we never would have managed to get what we needed in Gringotts. And also, Harry never would have taken possession of the Elder wand from you. The events of that day were critical to Harry's success."

They both sat in silence for a few moments while Draco worked up the courage to speak again. "I would go back and change it. Not to mess with the outcome, of course, but I'd do...something. Every time I think of it, and how I just stood there, I want to vomit."

She finally looked back at him and her eyes were sad and concerned. She regarded him for a long time, then asked simply, "Why didn't you do anything?"

Draco wanted to run out of the room, but he forced himself to stay, and maintain eye contact, and answer her. She deserved to know, even though his excuse was terrible. "I was so fucking scared, and I was just looking out for myself, and my family. I don't know how you can stand to spend time with me - the person who watched that happen to you and did nothing."

Hermione placed a tentative hand on his and squeezed it. "You're different now. You were just a kid then, and even if it all happened now...it's a lot to expect someone to risk themself for someone they hardly know. Most people can barely manage doing something like that for the people they love."

Draco shook his head, "You say I was young, but we were the same age. You and your friends were saving the world and I was standing by and going along with it all." He dropped her gaze then, unable to look into her beautiful eyes anymore.

She gave his hand one last squeeze, then pulled hers back into her lap. "You've already apologized to me for this, Malfoy."

"I haven't, not in this time." He lifted his head and looked back at her, wanting her to see the sincerity in his face when he said the next words. "I'm sorry Hermione. So very sorry. Not just for my inaction that day at the Manor. But also for trying to stop Potter in the Room of Requirement. For every stupid taunt in school, every time I made you feel worthless, I'm sorry. And I know I said this to you before, but I think you deserve to hear it more than once. And I'm sure this won't be the last time."

He saw a single tear fall down Hermione's cheek and had to clench his fist to keep from reaching out and wiping it away. She looked away from him, embarrassed, then said softly, "Thank you, Malfoy."

She left a few minutes after that and when she was out of sight, Draco sighed and dropped his head in his hands. That was terrible, but it needed to be said. Hopefully, she could start to trust him instead of simply putting up with him while hoping for his future self to come back and replace him.

Things with her were moving unbelievably slow. But that made sense, didn't it? He had to make up for years of torment and bullying that wouldn't be fixed in just a few months of pleasant conversation and one apology.

But Draco was committed. He wanted to see where this went. Maybe he wouldn't marry her, but he wanted her in his life, and he was patient; he could wait. And the more time he spent with her, the more he was finding out that Hermione Granger was worth the wait.

* * *

_Present Time: September 2001 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

Draco was getting desperate to see future Hermione again. It wasn't just so he could hold her in his arms, he wanted to quiz her about how they ended up together. But even though he wanted to time jump, he couldn't deny that he was enjoying the Hermione from this time.

She'd relaxed a little around him and they spent more time talking about random things, unrelated to time travel. She could talk endlessly about her work and Draco didn't mind it very much, he actually knew quite a bit about the legislative process. But he wished he could touch her. He had to catch himself sometimes from grabbing her hand or moving a curl out of her face.

One day in mid-September, he was watching her out of the corner of his eye as she leaned back from the table to stretch. She pulled her hair up and tied it into a loose bun on her head, exposing a gold necklace Draco had seen her wear a few times in the future, but not in this time yet.

He turned to her and looked at it closer and noticed a few runes etched onto the pendant. He leaned in and grabbed it, suddenly curious, then realized too late this was a move he could do in the future, but was too intimate for this time. She looked back at him surprised but didn't push him away.

Draco was already in a compromised position, so he decided to go along with it. He took a deep breath and could smell something floral, then bent to inspect the runes on the necklace. "Lovely storm?" he asked, wondering if he'd gotten the translation right.

She nodded back at him and Draco's heart started beating fast. She was so close. He bit his lip hard to keep from doing something stupid. He dropped the necklace but stayed in place.

"It's a birthday gift from my parents," her voice was sad and Draco cocked his head, remembering what she'd said about them that night on the beach. How her use of the memory charm on them had destroyed their relationship.

"It was sweet," she continued, "they found the Runes in one of the textbooks I left at home. They're trying to connect but things are so tense between us…" her voice trailed off.

"You've told me," he admitted.

Her eyes widened in surprise but she didn't ask him to elaborate. Draco picked the necklace up again, grazing his fingers against her collarbone as he did so. "Why 'lovely storm?'"

"That was probably my father's idea. He loves poetry and one of his favorites is: 'She was a storm, not the kind you run from, the kind you chase.' He had it stenciled on my wall when I was a girl." She paused to smile softly at the memory.

"He said I was an intense child. And I bet the unexplainable bursts of magic added to that perception. He called me his little storm." When she looked back at Draco her eyes were wet.

He took a deep breath, then dropped the necklace and finally shifted away from her. "It's beautiful, and they suit you. Both the poem and the necklace."

They were both silent and he wondered what she was thinking, but her expression was unreadable.

"When was your birthday?" he eventually asked.

"Oh - uh - it's today."

Draco motioned to the books on the table, "We can't do research on your birthday! Why didn't you say so sooner?" He started clearing the table with his wand.

"It's fine, Malfoy. I have a birthday party tonight."

"No," he finished packing his bag and motioned for her to do the same, "we're going out."

"Okay," she reluctantly packed her bag, then looked back at him curiously. "Uh - where are we going?"

Draco shrugged. "You pick, it's your birthday. What do you like to do?"

She looked back at the pile of books and smirked.

"Merlin," he grabbed her by the arms and gently pushed her toward the lift, grabbing her bag as he did so. "I'm sure even you can think of something fun to do that doesn't involve books."

* * *

** Hermione Granger **

Malfoy was being sweet today. Hermione wondered when she'd stopped assuming he was from the future anytime he was kind to her. She was getting used to him being nice. Before, when faced with the stark differences between present day Malfoy and future Malfoy, she hadn't been able to account for the drastic change in his disposition.

But she realized now that she'd been witnessing it for months, though it was so subtle and gradual that she'd almost missed it. Over time, every interaction- from the small ones, like him politely asking her to pass a book, to the larger ones, like his apology a few weeks ago, was bringing them closer to...something. A friendship? Or were they already friends?

It was so hard to tell with him, since his mood could change on a dime. But today, she conceded, it felt like they were. First, they'd gone to get ice cream, then she'd taken him to a Muggle park. They watched the other people at the park while eating and she explained the game she liked to play while people-watching.

"So, that woman there, with the older lady, I think they are mother and daughter. And the daughter is excited about something. Perhaps she got that promotion she'd been working toward all year."

"Okay, I get it," Malfoy said, pointing to a couple a few paces behind the mother and daughter. "That couple- they're fighting. I think the bloke cheated on her - maybe with her best friend."

"You're awful, pick some people who look happy next time."

He rolled his eyes, then motioned toward a woman with her young son. "Okay, that mum is trying to keep it together for her son, but deep down she's worried. She just found out she's pregnant with another child, but her husband only wants one. She doesn't know how to tell him."

Hermione burst out laughing. "Oh yeah? You got all that from a woman throwing a ball to her son?" She shook her head and took another lick of her ice cream cone. "Your stories are so dark, this is meant to be fun."

He shrugged, "I'm having fun." She looked over at him and saw he was smirking. He did look like he was having fun, she admitted. He looked more relaxed than she'd seen him in ages. His smirk turned into a wide smile when he caught her looking at him and she decided it suited him, and he should smile more often. She almost told him but caught herself, knowing how unbelievably smug he'd be if she said something like that.

"Tell me something Hermione," he said a little seriously and she nodded for him to continue. "What did Weasley get you for your birthday?"

She scowled at him and took another bite of ice cream.

He cocked an eyebrow at her. "Nothing? Not even Weasley is that stupid."

"Shut up Malfoy, I told you not to bring him up again."

"Easy Hermione, I wasn't going to say anything bad, I was just curious." He shrugged, then went back to watching the Muggles. They stayed silent, each eating their ice cream.

Eventually, she took a deep breath and said in a rush, "Ron and I broke up."

When she looked back at Malfoy she could tell he was struggling to keep his face neutral. "It wasn't because of anything you said," she added, then scowled when a small smile escaped his lips. "I was thinking about it before then."

He nodded, then made his face blank again. "Good for you. You are way out of his league."

"Yeah, right," she snorted. "I know how little you think of Ron."

"It's not that," he looked back at her and his eyes were serious again.

"What?"

"I think Weasley's fine. But I happen to think very highly of you," he said matter-of-factly.

"You do?"

He shrugged and responded simply, "I wouldn't be spending all of this time with you if I didn't."

Hermione regarded him for a moment. "I have absolutely no idea what to say to that," she admitted.

"Ahh, so I've rendered you speechless," he gave her another smile, then took bite of ice cream. His eyes were glittering with amusement and she wondered if he was flirting with her.

_What?! Of course not! You've just been away from the dating scene for too long._

"What?" he asked and she noticed she'd been staring at him strangely.

"You are a very confusing person, Malfoy."

"You can call me Draco. I've been calling you Hermione for weeks"

"I know."

"Then why don't you?"

"Well- that would make us friends."

"Oh, and we're not friends?" He looked a little disappointed. Well, she guessed she had her answer to her question from earlier. It seemed like they _were_ friends, or at least, he thought so.

"Well - maybe we are...Draco." She paused to cringe. "It sounds weird."

He laughed and shook his head. "You'll get used to it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Finally, everyone is on a first-name basis with each other. This actually makes the writing a lot simpler for me, so yay! Also, the poem Hermione quotes about the storm is from r.h. Sin.
> 
> I know this is moving slow, but Hermione just broke up with her childhood sweetheart, so she's going to need some time, please be patient! This story is going to be very long and there will be countless lovey-dovey scenes with these two. The outline now has 35 chapters, but almost every time I write a chapter, I shift 1-2 scenes to the next chapter, so it may stretch to 40-45 chapters by the end of the story. We shall see.
> 
> As always, thanks to my beta reader Lancashire Witch for making this story better. You can follow me over on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson to see aesthetics and a few behind the scenes drabbles for each chapter. Thanks so much for reading, please let me know what you think.
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Mon, Nov-16.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

_I am in a tug of war with my past self. We're fighting over who gets to keep you._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: September 2001_

* * *

** Hermione Granger **

Hermione was staring at the birthday decorations strung up around Grimmauld Place and trying to determine if they were the same ones from Harry and Ginny's birthday parties. Yes, she finally decided; she remembered the green trim around the 'Happy Birthday' sign. She smirked to herself, then took another sip of her wine.

There was no harm in reusing decorations. And at least they'd changed the name on the sign to say 'Hermione.' She sighed and looked back at her friends. Harry, Neville, Ginny, and Hannah were talking in a group at the table. And Ron, Rolf, and Luna were chatting in the doorway. She caught Ron's eye and he looked back at her, apparently exasperated by something Luna had said.

She watched him excuse himself and make his way to her side of the room. "Hi," he said when he reached her and she smiled back at him. She hadn't been alone with him since their break-up, but she'd heard from Harry and Ginny that he seemed to be taking it okay.

"Happy Birthday."

"Thanks Ron." They both stood there in silence for awhile, sipping on their drinks, then Hermione said, "I never noticed until now how everyone is paired up."

When she looked back at Ron, he looked a little guilty and she almost choked on her wine when she realized what that meant. She coughed, and Ron looked back at her concerned. "You're-" she took a deep breath, then continued again, "-you're dating someone?"

He nodded and she could tell he was avoiding her eyes. So, she must know the witch. She sighed, then finished off her wine and assessed how she was feeling. A part of her was annoyed that he'd moved on so quickly, but, honestly, she was happy for him.

"You could have brought her today," she said eventually, "whoever it is."

He took a deep breath then turned to face her. "It's Parvati. And it's not serious, we've only been on one date."

Hermione raised her eyebrows in surprise and bit her tongue.

"I know you think she's infuriating and silly, but she's matured a lot since school. I guess surviving a war and losing your best friend will do that."

Hermione sighed and gave him a small smile. "I'm happy for you Ron, really. And- well- congratulations on winning the breakup."

He let out a laugh and shook his head. "I'm not sure I'm eligible to win, seeing as how I was dumped to start."

"Ron, you know that's not-"

"Kidding Hermione, really, I'm fine," he smiled back at her and she nodded. She really was happy for him, even though Parvati would not have been her first choice for him. Maybe Padma, if he really wanted one of the Patil sisters; she was always more sensible. But then again, it was Ron's life, and if he wanted to date Parvati, who was she to get in the way?

"I think you were right, though," he said next. "We are better as friends. And if we'd waited too long, I think our breakup would have been very hard." She leaned against him and was glad when he pulled her against his side. Things were still awkward between them, but she was confident, with time, they'd return to being close friends.

"So, uh, are you dating anyone?" he asked tentatively, looking down at her face to gauge her reaction.

"Oh, no."

He seemed relieved. "Can you promise me something?"

"Um, sure."

"Promise me you won't start dating Malfoy."

"Malfoy? Why would you think I'd date _him?_ " she stepped out of his grip and looked up at him. The thought of dating Malfoy was absurd. She could admit now that he was handsome (especially since he'd stopped sneering at her) and smart, occasionally funny even. But she'd never considered him romantically. The entire point was moot anyway since she was clearly not his type. He only seemed interested in gorgeous purebloods.

"Hannah said she saw you two at Florean Fortescue's again today."

"Oh, that," she waved him off. "You know I'm helping him with a research project and when he found out it was my birthday, he insisted we take a break and go for ice cream. We're friends, that's it."

Ron studied her for a moment, then shook his head. "I don't trust him."

"I know, but he's different."

He cocked his head at her, "And you're still not going to tell me what this secret research project is all about?"

She shook her head. "It's nothing dark or sinister, but I can't tell you the details. I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone."

"Ahh," Ron said under his breath, "So _that_ promise you'll make."

He went to join in on Harry's conversation then, leaving Hermione to ponder his last words. Then she realized what he was referring to. _Promise me you won't start dating Malfoy._

She'd never agreed to that, had she? She wondered why that was...in the past she would have made that promise instantly.

* * *

_Present Time: October 2001 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

Draco's mother had outdone herself this year. The Manor was decorated more elaborately than Draco had imagined possible. There were glittering spiderwebs across the tall ceilings, countless tiny, floating pumpkins covering the side walls, and he noticed his mother had invited a host of ghosts this year.

She typically despised ghosts, but he guessed she'd caved this time, knowing the effect of having ghosts glide around the room would add greatly to the ambiance of the Halloween Ball.

Daphne approached from the other side of the room in a stunning green dress and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek when she reached him.

"You look dashing, Draco."

"As do you, Daphne," he said honestly.

She nodded, like this wasn't news to her, then immediately started scanning the room. Draco figured she was looking for Blaise. They both saw him at the same time, flirting with a witch about ten years older than them. Daphne sighed and propped her elbow on Draco's shoulder and slouched a bit inelegantly.

"Wouldn't everything be so much easier if you and I liked each other?"

Draco nodded, then pulled her to the dance floor. "Absolutely, but the heart wants what it wants, I guess." She gave him a small smile then linked her hands behind his neck. "And what does your heart want, Draco?"

Draco shook his head and started moving them around the ballroom. That was a loaded question and one that he didn't have a clear answer to. He thought he wanted to date Hermione, but that would be a disaster. He could never bring her to something like this, she'd get eaten alive.

"Thank you for coming with me," he said eventually. "Otherwise my mother would have chosen someone and I'm sure they would have been insufferable."

He saw Astoria on the other side of the room talking to a group of older Slytherins. He recognized a few of his previous Quidditch teammates. Then, she leaned in and placed a kiss on the cheek of a dark-haired wizard he didn't know. He was glad she'd moved on. She deserved to be with someone who would love her, and Draco wasn't that person.

 _But you love Hermione?_ A small voice in his head asked. He didn't think so. He always assumed when he loved someone it would be obvious. But he liked her, he just had no idea what to do when it came to her. Should he make a move? Or would a future version of himself come back and move things along for him? Like he had with that drunken kiss.

Anytime he thought of trying to do something in this time, he was overcome with an intense fear of being rejected by her. He had no idea if she liked him like that. She seemed receptive, the few times he'd tested it by resting his leg against hers or grabbing her hand to get her attention. But then again, he remembered, she was like that with all her friends. Being touchy-feely was a Gryffindor thing.

"Let's get a drink," he said after a few dances. Clearly, he needed to relax and wouldn't mind the numbing feeling a few shots of whiskey would offer. "What do you want?"

"Champagne," Daphne responded, then went to the side of the room to join a sulking Theo. Draco walked in the opposite direction toward the bar, where his mother found him.

"Daphne is lovely, but I know you're not interested in her romantically. Why didn't you let me set you up with someone?"

Draco rolled his eyes, then turned back to his mother after ordering his drinks.

"You're interested in someone else," his mother said, "and I can only assume, since you didn't bring her today, you're ashamed of her. Please don't tell me there was in truth in your father's jest about the Grange-"

"I'm not with anyone else, Mother," Draco snapped, and the words tasted bitter on his lips. He turned to grab his drinks then forced a smile back on his face.

"You outdid yourself this year. Now excuse me- I should return to my date."

* * *

_Present Time: February 2000 / Draco's Time: November 2001_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

The next time jump took Draco to the past. He was alone in his flat and it was the middle of the night. He was surprised when he checked the date- _February 13, 2000._ He thought his first trip to the past wouldn't be until March.

If Hermione's theory about him reaching the middle - which he realized now, they'd have to rename, since he was not technically in the middle of the time loop- was right, then all his subsequent time jumps would be to the past and he'd know when they all were coming.

This jump was the second one he'd ever taken and at the time, he'd mistaken it for an odd dream. He hadn't known to check the future date then, but for all the rest, he had checked the date, so he'd know when the jump would occur.

Even if they never found the extra shard of the time turner and made the extraction potion to remove the pieces from his blood, he could manage this okay. He didn't have that many more jumps to take.

As he considered this last point, his chest clenched. That meant he was finished seeing future Hermione. He wasn't ready to give her up.

He started pacing his flat angrily, cursing the pieces of the time turner currently flowing in his bloodstream for cutting him off from that unexpected source of happiness so suddenly.

* * *

_Present Time: November 2001 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

The next day Draco was awoken by someone knocking loudly on his door. He rushed to check the identity of the visitor and hitched his breath when he saw his father on the other side. He opened the door quickly and motioned for his father to join him in the sitting room.

"Can I offer you anything, Father? Water? Tea?"

"No," Lucius waved him off and started pacing the small room. "Where were you?" He paused to look Draco up and down, then resumed his pacing.

"What?" Draco was racking his brain, trying to remember what he'd missed. He realized it just as his father said his next words.

"The check-in with the Aurors. Missing my meetings is one thing, but surely you understand the importance of those-"

"Shit," Draco swore under his breath.

"Language, Draco."

Now it was Draco's turn to start pacing the room. He thought back to what little he could remember of the most recent time jump from his past self's perspective. He'd been taken away in the middle of the night, then found himself in his flat at daytime, so he'd darkened the windows and returned to bed. Then he remembered an owl- he walked into the next room now and saw a letter on the table. He ripped it open. It was from his father, urging him to come quickly to the Manor.

"I see you got my letter," his father drawled from the doorway. "What was so pressing to keep you away from such a critical meeting?"

Draco sighed and dropped his head, "I forgot."

His father walked into the room and waited until Draco looked back up at him before speaking again. "Are you having trouble keeping track of your time?"

Draco closed his eyes, then took a deep breath before finally admitting, "Yes."

"I know, Draco," his father's voice was surprisingly soft. Draco gripped the back of the chair firmly and watched his knuckles turn white.

"Draco, we _must_ end this. Surely, you know by now what happens in the future," his father's face was twisted in disgust and Draco looked away, ashamed. So, he _did_ know about Hermione.

"I can't bear it and refuse to let it play out like that as long as I can help it," he spat and his father was more agitated than Draco had ever seen him. He knew he'd be upset about Hermione, but this reaction was more extreme than Draco had expected.

Draco wondered then how he had found out. His future self must have told him, but under what circumstances? Had he admitted his indiscretion willingly? Or had his father forced the confession from him?

He wouldn't put it past his father to slip him Veritaserum if he suspected Draco was an imposter. He knew he kept a stash of the potion in his office.

"I can't end this," Draco said quietly, keeping his eyes down.

"Why not? I know how to stop it; we just need to make a simple extraction potion. I have a piece of the broken time turner in my safe."

Well, Draco had been right, it was his father who had the other piece of the time turner. He took a deep breath, then looked back at his father and said defiantly, "I want more time."

His father's reaction was unexpected. His eyes turned sad and loving and he nodded before saying, "Okay. One thing we still have is time."

Draco cocked his head in confusion. Was his father going to let him pursue this relationship with Hermione? Would he really be able to put Draco's happiness over his obsession with maintaining a pure bloodline?

"But eventually, you _will_ end this," he said sharply and Draco nodded back dutifully. Now it made sense. His father would let him take time with Hermione now, but he was only okay with it so long as Draco took the steps later to reverse it all. He would never truly be okay with him marrying a Muggleborn.

"You need to visit the Auror office today. You should be outside the door as soon as it opens." Draco nodded, welcoming the change in subject.

"Who was the Auror?" Draco asked.

"Dawlish."

Draco swore again, but this time his father didn't protest. They both knew how much Dawlish hated them. "I'm sorry, Father. I'll take care of this."

* * *

_Present Time: September 2004 / Draco's Time: December 2001_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

Draco was getting dressed, about to go to the Ministry for an interview with Dawlish, when he time traveled again. He was so alarmed by the unexpected jump that it took him several moments to get his bearings. He checked the date with his wand: _September 12, 2004._

" _Fucking hell,"_ he muttered under his breath, then jumped out of the bed he was sitting on and started pacing the room. He realized, belatedly, that he was in the spare bedroom of the house he shared with Hermione in the future. But he wasn't supposed to be time jumping to the future anymore. Hermione's theory was wrong then, she thought once he started jumping to the past, all his time travel after that would be to the past.

He'd gone to the past last time, and now he was in the future. And he knew in a few months, he'd go to the past again. It was all a jumbled mess and he and Hermione had been naïve to think they'd be able to apply some logic to this fucked up timeline. It was already hard enough to keep track of the jumps when he was going in one direction, now he had to deal with both?

He sighed. And he was currently missing his meeting with Dawlish. He wondered if his future self would remember the appointment. He should have scribbled a note as soon as he felt the vertigo, but he'd been so shocked at the time that he'd stayed frozen in place. If he missed that appointment, he'd be completely fucked. They'd probably start an investigation into his whereabouts, and if they found about the time jumping…

Draco took a deep, calming breath, then took in his surroundings again. He was in the future, and Hermione should be here. He cast a _Hominem Revelio_ charm and let out a sigh of relief when he saw another figure was in the house. He was halfway in the hall when it hit him. He'd appeared in the spare bedroom, and it was clear he'd been sleeping in there. That wasn't a good sign.

He knocked softly on the door and waited for her voice on the other side before opening it. She was sitting on the bed and he was immediately angry with future Draco for whatever he'd done to make her look so sad.

She looked up from her book and barely registered his appearance before moving her eyes back to the page. "What time are you from?" she asked in a bored tone.

"December 2001. This is the jump when I realized your theory about reaching the middle was crap."

She shrugged and kept her eyes on the book. "Yes, I remember you struggled with that realization." Her voice was cold, lacking the comfort he'd expected to find there.

"So we're fighting in this time?"

She nodded, finally looking up at him, "Actually, we're not talking. So if you wouldn't mind," she waved toward the door, "I don't really want to talk with _you_ either."

He turned around but stopped in the doorway, gripping the frame hard with his hands, "Tell me one thing Hermione." He took her silence as permission to continue. "I can end this all now. My father has a shard of the broken time turner, and he offered to help me just a few weeks ago. Is that something you want me to do?"

She was quiet for a long time, and he wondered if she'd heard him. She was looking down at her hands and he thought he saw a tear drop onto the bedspread but he couldn't be sure. "That's not a decision I can make for you," she said softly. "It's your life."

He finally left her alone. It was his life, his decision. If he stopped the time jumping now, he could probably end this problem with the Auror office. He'd likely not be friends with Hermione in his time now, which meant they'd never get married. His father wouldn't be disappointed in him. And wouldn't it be nice to get some relief from the torrent of emotions he felt toward her?

He was finding that caring for Hermione was hard. Sometimes the future with her seemed almost blissful. But there were also big fights, like the one his future self was in now. And there were those times he'd found her crying uncontrollably. There was obviously a lot of love between them, but also a lot of pain.

He sat on the bed and pulled his knees up, then rested his forehead on them. "I think I'm falling for you Hermione." He let the words hang in the air and examined them, trying to decide how much truth they held. They felt right, even though they caused an ache in his chest.

"But I may have to let you go," he added. As he considered these words, the ache in his chest was replaced with a stabbing pain. It was wrong, he knew, even with all the reasons he had for ending the time jumping, he couldn't do it. He couldn't let Hermione go. Not yet.

* * *

_Present Time: January 2002 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Hermione Granger **

Draco had skipped three sessions in a row and wasn't responding to Hermione's owls. That was why she was standing outside his flat now, knocking on the door. When he appeared in the hall, he didn't seem surprised to see her and disappeared back inside, leaving the door cracked open so she could follow him.

She took a deep breath, then went into his flat. He was pacing the main room and she watched him for a while, trying to determine if he was from this time. "Where have you been?"

He sighed and stopped pacing, "I've had a lot going on."

"So much going on that you couldn't take two minutes to send an owl?" she asked sharply.

He looked contrite and dropped his head, "Have a seat." He motioned toward the couch and she sat down and watched him sigh, then join her. But he was avoiding her gaze and she wondered why. Draco rarely avoided eye contact.

"I'm sorry, I should have sent an owl. I- well- I know where a shard of the time turner is. So I can make an extraction potion now if I want to." Hermione's chest constricted unexpectedly as she considered him using that potion.

"I guess," he continued, "I don't see the point in us researching this time travel anymore. But-" he looked over at her guiltily, "I didn't know how to tell you. I hope you haven't been researching without me. I thought you'd stop if I didn't come."

She nodded and looked down at her lap, not wanting to admit she'd continued showing up on the off chance he'd reappear. "So you want to stop the jumps? In a few months all the jumps should be going to the past, and there aren't that many of them for you to make over the next couple years-"

"That theory is wrong."

"What?"

"It was a good theory," he said kindly, then added in a harsher tone, "but it turned out to be crap."

"Oh, how do you know?"

"I traveled to the past at the beginning of November. Then a few weeks later, I went to the future again. I think as I get farther along the timeline, my jumps will go both ways. It's going to be harder to keep track of it all."

Hermione understood why he looked so dejected now. He'd been relying on the predictability of the jumps. He'd said it would be almost manageable. But now that didn't seem to be the case.

She realized then she didn't want him to take that potion. She liked having him as a friend. She'd missed him these past few weeks. He was interesting, and fun to talk to. And if he stopped all this time jumping now, he'd be out of her life. But she wouldn't even know it. She'd go back to thinking of him as an insufferable prat and have no idea of the friendship she was missing out on.

"But it will still be easier with time," Hermione argued. "You'll become more familiar with the events along the entire time loop and it should be easier to keep track of everything," she placed a comforting hand on his arm.

He looked down at her hand and nodded but stayed silent.

"So you're going to do it? You've already decided?"

His eyes were dark when they met hers, and she saw a storm of emotions there. He seemed conflicted by the decision, and she allowed herself to hope. Who knew she was so invested in this odd friendship?

"I may be forced to end it."

"What? Why?"

"The Auror office has launched an official investigation into my whereabouts. It started when I missed a check-in meeting while time jumping. I was supposed to go in and smooth things over, but then I time jumped again and missed that too." He looked away from her toward the fire.

"If they begin to catch wind of what's really going on…" his voice trailed off. Hermione didn't need him to explain. They'd force him to take the potion. They couldn't have a time-jumping Death Eater. Even if Draco tried to explain that his jumps didn't go back any further than 2000, they wouldn't take the chance.

"I see," she said eventually, then pulled herself to standing as an idea formed in her mind. "If it wasn't for this issue with the Aurors, would you do it? You know where the shard of the time turner is, and the potion is simple enough to brew. You could be done with all of this in a week."

He regarded her for a long time. "No, I don't want to stop this. Not yet."

She smiled. "Okay then, well give me a chance to fix this thing with the Aurors before you do anything. That alone is not a good enough reason to end all of this."

He looked back at her like he didn't believe she'd be successful, but she just smirked at him. He clearly didn't understand how influential Harry was in that office.

* * *

** Harry Potter **

Harry was having a bad day. Their office had gotten behind over the holidays and everyone had a pile of reports to get through before the end of the month. He hated writing reports, as did most of the other Aurors, since the job attracted people who preferred action to slogging through paperwork behind a desk.

Also, he and Ginny were fighting again, but this time he didn't think it was his fault. She was on edge about something but was reluctant to admit whatever it was. So he was just trying to be as patient as possible and not make anything worse, but the tension was grating on him.

He jumped when he heard a knock on his office door and rushed to answer it, glad for the distraction, and smiled when he saw Hermione on the other side. "Hey, what's going on?"

She smiled then plopped herself on a chair and sighed heavily, "I need you to help me with something and you're not going to like it."

Harry decided as soon as she said that he would do whatever she needed. He still felt like he owed her a huge debt for her unwavering support during the war, but rarely got the opportunity to pay her back because Hermione never asked him for anything. He took a seat behind his desk and leaned toward her.

"Anything Hermione, what is it?"

She sighed and shook her head, "You might want to hear me out before you agree to help."

Now Harry was intrigued. What could Hermione possibly need that was so mysterious?

She took another deep breath, then started talking quickly. "It's Dra- uh- Malfoy. I know he's under investigation with the Auror office for missing a few required check-ins but I can account for his whereabouts. He wasn't doing anything untoward, I promise. But, well, I can't tell you exactly what he _was_ doing. I just need you to trust me. And- uh- get this investigation thrown out?"

Harry hitched his breath and pushed back from the desk as he regarded Hermione. She looked serious, and distraught. _Fucking Malfoy._ Why did he have to go and include Hermione in whatever scheme he was involved in? And what if he was just deceiving her? She was brilliant, but also had a soft spot when it came to helping those in need. But he could tell by her expression this was incredibly important to her.

"Do you understand what you're asking here, Hermione? I'll have to go around Dawlish straight to Robards and ask him to trust me on this without giving any reason why."

"I know Harry, it's a lot to ask. But we both know you have the political capital to make a vague request like that."

"It'll ruin my relationship with Dawlish," he pointed out.

She nodded, "I know, but you're always saying how you don't really like him. Since he clings to the past too hard."

She was right. Dawlish couldn't let go of the events of the war. It was one of the reasons he was so hard on the Malfoys. Lucius had been in charge of a raid on the wizarding town where Dawlish grew up and was likely personally responsible for a number of deaths that night, including some of Dawlish's close friends.

He didn't care that Lucius had been tried for his crimes and released, and he didn't care that Lucius was obviously remorseful and had been working to right the wrongs he'd committed in the war for the past few years. Dawlish would never forgive him for that night, and Harry couldn't fault the man. A part of him would never forgive Lucius for his role in Sirius' death. But many times, Dawlish's vendetta had clouded his judgement and he'd lashed out unfairly.

Harry had heard of the investigation into Draco and didn't agree with it from the start. Launching a formal inquiry based on a few missed meetings into a Death Eater they had no reason to suspect of any criminal activity seemed a bit extreme.

"Will you help?"

Harry removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, then sighed heavily. "Yes. But only if you tell me what's going on. I promise to keep his secret, whatever it is, but I need to know what you two are up to before I go out on a limb like this."

He put his glasses back on and saw she was biting her lip, considering his request. "Okay, I thought you might say that. I can't tell you, but I think I can convince him to. Do you have time right now?"

Harry looked back at the pile of reports on his desk and nodded, then rose and donned his cloak, eager to finally discover what this secret research project Hermione and Malfoy had been working on was all about. He hadn't for a second believed her story about Malfoy's spell-damage from the war.

Ten minutes later they were in the hallway of a swanky apartment building while Hermione knocked on the door of what Harry assumed was Malfoy's flat. Malfoy answered quickly and narrowed his eyes at Harry. "Fucking hell, Hermione. Seriously? Is Potter your solution to every problem?"

She rushed past him into the flat and Harry was alarmed that she seemed to know where she was going. How often had she been here?

"No Draco, not _every_ problem," he heard her voice from an adjacent room and followed her inside. Malfoy stood at the door and glared at him, but didn't stop him from coming into the flat. "-just problems with the Auror office. Harry is an Auror, as I'm sure you remember."

She was in an elegant sitting room and had removed her cloak and draped it over a chair. Harry kept his on and stood by the fire, regarding Malfoy warily.

Malfoy sighed and started rubbing his temples, then shook his head and settled onto the couch. Hermione joined him, then turned so she was facing him. "I know you don't want to tell him, but he can make this all go away. And really, he's the only person in the Auror office who will actually hear you out."

"You promised you would keep this to yourself," he said in a low voice.

"I know, which is why I brought him here instead of telling him myself." Malfoy glared back at her, then she placed a comforting hand on his leg and Harry stiffened. What the hell? "You can trust Harry, he's helped you before."

Malfoy seemed to remember Harry was in the room then and glared over at him. Harry crossed his arms and glared back. He wondered if Malfoy knew how lucky he was to have Hermione on his side. If it wasn't for her, Harry would already be on his way back to the Ministry. He'd take dull report writing over having to deal with Malfoy any day.

"I don't know if I can trust him," Malfoy said eventually, and Harry sighed in frustration.

"You can," Hermione cut in, "he knows what you're going through. Harry and I have time traveled before."

"Hermione," Harry scolded. How could she admit that secret to Malfoy, of all people?

"What? You didn't mention Potter did it too." Malfoy said at the same time.

Hermione stood up and gave each of them a stern glare, "One angry wizard at a time." She looked back at Malfoy. "So, now you know a secret about Harry, will you finally tell him yours?"

Malfoy pouted back at her and crossed his arms, "No."

She rolled her eyes. "Okay, well, will you at least give _me_ permission to tell him?"

Malfoy looked over at Harry, then back at Hermione before finally giving her a curt nod.

Hermione didn't waste any time, probably worried Malfoy would suddenly change his mind. She started in on a complicated tale where Malfoy had apparently turned himself into a human time turner. She explained how he visited her from the future and that during those times the current version of himself replaced the Malfoy in the future time he'd come from.

During her explanation, Malfoy stayed silent and glared at the fire. When Hermione was finally finished, he looked at Harry and his eyes were intense. Harry met his gaze and regarded the wizard before him. It sounded awful, really, to be forced to jump around in time. His one trip to the past had been incredibly disorienting and he couldn't imagine doing that every month.

"Will you help?" Hermione asked.

Harry kept his eyes on Malfoy as he responded. "Yes, but I'm only doing this for Hermione."

Malfoy gave him a curt nod, then finally dropped his gaze. Hermione hugged him then and Harry didn't miss Malfoy's possessive glare, then subsequent relief when she finally let Harry go.

Harry was glad Hermione had involved him in this. There was something going on here and he was determined to keep Hermione from getting any closer to Malfoy. He may not be evil, but he was still sullen, mean, and deceitful and the sooner Hermione ended this research project, the better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So it turns out Lucius does know what's going on. And now Harry is involved. This should be fun...
> 
> Thank you so much for the lovely reviews. I'm glad you all are going along with this crazy time-jumbled mess. As we get further on you'll see the time jumps happening from the future person's perspective and that's when things will get really interesting/confusing.
> 
> Many thanks to my beta reader Lancashire Witch! You can follow me over on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson to see aesthetics and a few behind the scenes drabbles for each chapter. Thanks so much for reading, please let me know what you think.
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Thurs, Nov-19.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

_It feels bittersweet to love you, as though time has already run its ruinous path and everything good is over before it begins._

_It feels perilous to love you, like a dust storm swallowing up the sky or a comet skimming the stratosphere._

_But it is an honor to love you. Like the snow drifts giving way to spring, I will hold you for as long as I can._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: February 2002 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Harry Potter**

"If you insist on being here, you may as well help," Hermione shoved a small book to Harry that was topped with a slip of parchment with a spell scrawled across it. "Use this spell to start translating this journal."

Harry closed the Daily Prophet he was reading and pouted, "I never agreed to help with the research bits. I was just meant to keep him out of Azkaban."

"And how does sitting in on all these sessions while glowering at Draco accomplish that?" she challenged.

Malfoy snorted from across the table and Harry glared at him, then reluctantly took the book from Hermione. "She doesn't need a bodyguard, Potter. We were working alone for months and she's still in one piece."

"You don't need to tell me how capable Hermione is of protecting herself. You should know that she won't hesitate to hex you if you cross her."

"Believe me, I know," Malfoy grumbled under his breath and Harry saw him give Hermione a side-long glance and when their eyes met, they exchanged knowing smiles, then turned back to the books in front of them. Harry shook his head and tried to focus on the task Hermione had set for him, but couldn't help but look up at Malfoy and Hermione every few minutes.

They were eerily comfortable around each other, which wasn't even the most disturbing thing about this situation. There were two things that made Harry uneasy. The first was how they each called the other by their first name. Was that entirely necessary? Harry didn't think so.

And the lingering question that Harry had not received a satisfactory answer to; was why had Malfoy sought Hermione out in the first place? Hermione explained that future Malfoy visited her and that they became friends. Then, when she met up with the present day Malfoy, he explained the time travel and she offered to help. Harry knew there were details she was leaving out, but he couldn't figure out why.

And when he asked Malfoy why his future self had gone to Hermione of all people, he just shrugged and said, "We're friends in the future."

"But how did you become friends?"

He'd rolled his eyes and motioned to the books surrounding them, then said with the tone of someone explaining something simple, to a very stupid person, "She helped me research time travel. Then over the years, we developed a friendship."

"But she only helped you because you came back from the future and befriended her. When did it start?"

"There's no start or end; it's called a time loop for a reason, Potter."

Harry sighed, then remembered a promise he'd made to Ginny and reached into his bag for the camera he'd packed that morning. When he explained the dynamic between Hermione and Malfoy, Ginny had been astonished and asked him to take a photo, since she couldn't believe they'd be able to sit next to each other peacefully.

When the camera flashed, they both looked up at him annoyed. "What the fuck, Potter? Not everyone likes their picture taken as much as you."

Hermione shifted her glare from Harry to Malfoy and he sighed when he saw her, then mumbled, "He started it."

Harry was confused by the interchange, then recalled what Hermione had told him about the rules she'd set for Malfoy. One, that he wouldn't give her details about her future and two, that he wouldn't make fun of her or her friends. He smirked to himself then, as an idea formed in his mind. He knew it was immature but couldn't help himself.

"Don't worry, Malfoy, I'll be sure to give you a copy of the photo. Anyway," he pushed back from the table and put his camera back in his bag, "I can't help with this right now, Hermione, I need to go. I'm meeting Ron in Diagon Alley over the lunch hour today. I'm helping him pick out new keeper gloves."

Harry saw Malfoy's mouth twitch slightly and continued in a casual tone. "Ron's not as good as he was in school, but he's still an excellent keeper anytime we get the chance to play a quick game." Malfoy took a deep breath and Harry could tell he was only pretending to focus on the book in front of him now.

"Then we're going to get more dress robes." He paused, but Malfoy didn't say anything. Hermione rolled her eyes at him, then stopped reading to watch Malfoy.

"We want to look sharp for our interview with _Witch Weekly_ tomorrow," Harry added. "They're putting us on the list of the 20 most impressive wizards in their 20s."

Harry was impressed, even with all that Malfoy didn't say a word, though he was giving Harry a murderous glare. Harry shrugged back at him and winked, then slipped behind a bookshelf and peered through the cracks between the books back at them.

Hermione started to laugh. "You look like you're about to explode."

"I see you told him about our rules," Malfoy said through gritted teeth.

"Yes, well, I told him about rules number one and three."

"Not two?" Malfoy asked, amused.

She blushed, then crossed her arms. "Would you like Harry to know the circumstances behind rule number two?"

Malfoy dropped his smile and shook his head, "No."

Hermione smirked back at him and said sternly, "That's what I thought."

Harry had no idea what they were talking about, but he was sure it wasn't good. Hermione was still smirking to herself when she finally turned back to her book and Harry realized that in the past few months she'd been smirking more and more. And she was snarkier than normal. Fucking hell, Malfoy was rubbing off on her.

But it was nothing compared to Malfoy's transformation. Harry wasn't the best at picking up on these things, but he was fairly certain Malfoy liked Hermione. But that didn't mean he'd act on it. She was still a Muggleborn and Harry knew Malfoy was very dedicated to his family and his precious bloodline.

But what if Malfoy went temporarily insane and _did_ act on it? How would Hermione respond? Did she like him back? Merlin, Harry hoped not. He'd been trying to figure out the answer to this question for weeks, but Hermione was hard to read.

Harry used to know her so well. When they were alone in that tent for months, he could tell the difference between the sigh she made when she was frustrated and the one she made when she was bored. But after the war she'd spent the summer in Australia, then gone straight to Hogwarts to finish her last year and the physical distance kept them from being as close as they had been.

And it was during this time that Hermione began to withdraw into herself. She was no longer the passionate, outspoken witch from school, but was more pensive and subdued. Harry had originally thought it was a result of the war, but Ron had explained later that something had happened with her parents. They were upset about the memory charms she'd placed to protect them.

Harry had tried to talk to her about it, but she'd brushed it off and he guessed she found the prospect of discussing parental issues with an orphan insensitive. But Harry didn't see it that way at all, and he knew it wasn't something Ron or Ginny would understand, since they had the best parents out there.

He'd been worried about Hermione for a while now, and here she was becoming friends with Malfoy. Was that part of the reason she'd turned to him? Had she finally found someone she could open up to? And if she had found a source of solace in this unlikely person, could Harry really bring himself to get in the way?

* * *

_Present Time: August 2001 / Draco's Time: March 2002_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

A month later, Draco traveled six months to the past. He'd been expecting the jump but wasn't expecting how down he would feel when he saw Hermione at the Ministry Archives.

He had been in a bad mood since Potter started sitting in on his and Hermione's sessions. Something about spending hours with the precious boy who lived and was adored by the entire wizarding world, including Hermione, made Draco feel especially despicable.

"Are you okay, Malfoy?" Hermione's question cut into his thoughts. He looked back at her and saw a look of mild concern in her eyes but could tell she didn't care for him as much as she would later. And right now, he really wished she'd look at him like he was worth something.

"I'm fine," he said, avoiding her gaze. "I'm just fucking exhausted." He gave her a curt nod, then left her to work on the research alone.

* * *

_Present Time: May 2005 / Draco's Time: April 2002_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

Another month later, Draco's time jump took him to the house in London. He was standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom and was about to check the date when Hermione walked in. Her face fell as soon as she saw him.

"Oh no, not today. Bugger- that's why you were taking so long to get dressed."

"Why? What's today?"

She ignored him and left the bathroom, then returned a few seconds later with a set of black robes on a hanger. "When are you from?"

"April 2002."

"Okay, I guess it could be worse." She hung the robes she was holding on a hook on the wall. "Change into these, we're leaving in fifteen minutes."

She closed the door and he raised his voice so she could hear him. "You never said where we're going."

He heard her sigh, then say, "It's May 2nd, 2005."

Draco froze and watched the color drain from his face in the mirror. Shit, he knew exactly where they were headed. He forced himself to change, then took a deep breath before opening the door to face Hermione.

She was wearing a set of black robes over a black dress and was pinning a few loose curls up. She stopped when she saw him and approached him carefully. When she reached him, she opened her hand and he saw she was holding his wedding band. He sighed, then reached for it and slipped it on.

"You haven't been back yet, have you?"

Draco bit his lip and shook his head, suddenly unable to talk. He closed his eyes and used a bit of Occlumency to clear the rush of emotions flowing through him. When he opened his eyes again, Hermione was staring back at him concerned.

"Oh, Draco." She placed a hand on his cheek and he leaned into the warmth, trying to gather as much comfort from the gesture as he could.

"It's a hard day for everyone. Just stay silent and I promise no one will yell at you. You went last year and that was our first time going together, but you said it was the second time for you. I guess you were talking about today…" her voice trailed off and she dropped her hand and looked back at him sadly.

Draco still didn't know what to say. He looked away from her and focused on the snitch on the shelf across the room. Fuck, he just wanted to go back to his time. He wasn't ready to go to Hogwarts.

"Draco," Hermione's voice was soft and she pulled his face back so he was looking at her again. "I'll be with you the whole time. But, if you need to skip it, I'll understand."

Draco took a deep breath and started rubbing his hands up and down her arms, glad that he was able to touch her in this time. He'd certainly need that consolation if he was going to get through this day. "I'll go. You said I did - or, do." He gave her a small smile.

She returned it but was shaking her head. "We're not supposed to make decisions because we know it happens that way in the future. You don't have to do this, Draco."

Fuck, this witch was incredible. She'd let him skip out on this entire day if he wanted to, even though it was clearly very important to her that he go with her. "I'll go. But you can't leave me alone," he added a bit lamely, but she didn't seem annoyed by the childish request. She gave him a quick hug and before he knew it, she'd taken them to Hogsmeade using side-along apparition.

"You're supposed to warn people before you do that," he sharply, trying to regain his balance.

"I know, sometimes it's better to just act and not overthink things. Are you ready?"

 _No._ But it was too late to change his mind now. He nodded and they walked along the path to Hogwarts.

* * *

_Present Time: April 2002 / Draco's Time: May 2005_

* * *

**Harry Potter**

Harry jumped when a high-pitched ringing sounded in his office, signaling that one of the dark wizards he was responsible for had tripped their trace alarm. He grabbed his wand and rushed to the map hanging on the wall, then sighed when he saw which name was glowing red - _Draco Malfoy_.

Harry sighed and tapped his wand to the name to deactivate the alarm. Thank Merlin Robards had transferred responsibility for the Malfoys to Harry. Otherwise Dawlish would have had a field day with this indiscretion. And what was Malfoy doing leaving England? He knew he was already on thin ice with the Aurors.

Harry bent to get a closer look at the map to see where Malfoy had decided to go. He hitched his breath when he recognized his location. What was he doing at Hogwarts?

Harry went back to his desk and tried to focus on the file he'd been reviewing, but his eyes kept drifting back to the map. Maybe he should make sure Malfoy wasn't up to anything. He thought he could rely on Hermione's assessment that he could be trusted, but perhaps she'd been wrong. And he was still a former Death Eater in Harry's charge.

Harry sighed and donned his cloak, then apparated to Hogsmeade. He sent a Patronus to notify McGonagall of his arrival and was surprised when she was the one who met him at the gates.

"It's so good to see you, Mister Potter," he shook her hand and smiled at his old professor.

"Headmistress, I hope you're well. I didn't mean to disturb you. I know I don't have an appointment today."

"Don't be ridiculous, you don't need an appointment to stop by. You are welcome any time."

She let him into the gates and led them up the path to the castle. "I believe I know what you brought you here today."

So Harry had been right. The map wasn't very precise and he'd hoped Malfoy had just stopped by Hogmeade. But no, that would have been too easy, and Malfoy was nothing, if not difficult.

"I wasn't your only unexpected visitor today, was I?"

McGonagall chucked under her breath. "No, Mister Potter, you were not. He caused quite a stir. As soon as he arrived he demanded to speak to me directly and wouldn't say a word to anyone else. And the subsequent conversation," she cut off, shaking her head at the memory of it.

"Let's just say, Mister Malfoy seems to have changed a lot from the boy he was in school." They'd reached the Entrance Hall and Harry took in the comforting sight of his first real home.

"Where is he now?"

McGonagall regarded him for a few seconds before answering. "The Astronomy Tower."

Harry felt his heart drop into his stomach. Of course he was there. _Fucking Malfoy._

McGonagall was looking at him concerned and Harry felt like he was back in school, talking to his head of house. He took a deep breath and straightened his spine, then spoke with more confidence than he was feeling. "Do you mind if I join him up there? I won't be long, and we should be out of your way soon."

"Of course. Take your time, I already told Mister Malfoy there are no classes scheduled up there until tonight. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment I must get to."

Harry nodded at her and watched her disappear through the far door, then he sighed and began the long walk to the Astronomy Tower. He stopped outside the door at the top of the final spiral staircase and rested his head against it before taking several calming breaths.

He hadn't been back here since that night in sixth year and didn't think when he woke up today that this was where he'd end up. He cursed Malfoy again, then finally opened the door. He immediately saw the source of his ire sitting with his back against the ramparts in almost the exact spot Dumbledore had fallen.

Harry approached slowly and saw a dark smile come across Malfoy's face. "I was wondering how long it would take you to show up. You can't help but insert yourself in other people's business, can you Potter?" Even though his words were harsh, his tone was light.

Harry rolled his eyes and continued walking toward him. "You're not supposed to leave England, you know that. You tripped your trace alarm."

"Shit. I'm sorry, Potter, I forgot. Is this going to be an issue for you?" He sounded like he actually cared.

Harry felt compelled to reassure him for some reason. "I disabled it before anyone else noticed. Thankfully, you're under my charge." Harry froze in place when he finally got close enough to clearly see Malfoy's face and swore to himself. This wasn't the same Malfoy he'd seen last week. This one looked older and more tired.

"Fuck, you're from the future."

"Observant as ever. I guess you're not a well-regarded Auror for nothing," he teased.

Harry rolled his eyes again. "What are you doing here?"

Malfoy sighed and there was a wealth of feeling behind it. "I'm missing the anniversary of the battle of Hogwarts in my time. I guess, I thought I should still come…" he trailed off and looked away from Harry.

Harry took the final few steps to the ramparts and sat down next to Malfoy, careful to avoid looking over the edge where Dumbledore had fallen, worried that if he focused on the spot where his broken body had lain, he'd have a panic attack. Just thinking about it now was causing his heart to pound and his breathing to quicken. He started to take deep, purposeful breaths and laid his head against the wall, focusing on the feeling of the cold stone.

"We can go, Potter," Malfoy's voice cut in and it was unexpectedly kind. Harry turned to look at him and saw he was looking ahead, as if trying to give Harry privacy.

"I haven't been up here since that night," Harry admitted in a rough voice.

"Really?" Malfoy looked over at Harry then with an uncharacteristically concerned expression. "Shit, I'm sorry, mate."

 _Mate?_ He knew Malfoy and Hermione were friends in the future, but it appeared he was friends with Harry, too.

Harry looked back at him dumbfounded and Malfoy just shrugged and went back to looking forward. Harry followed his gaze and saw he was staring at the same spot where he'd stood that night with his wand trained on Dumbledore. They both sat in silence for several minutes, then Malfoy eventually said, "I'm so sorry, Potter."

Harry let his words hang in the air for a long time before responding. "You've already apologized. I'm sure you remember."

"I apologized for being a prat to you and your friends in school. And for trying to get in your way in the final battle. But that wasn't what I was referring to just now." Harry stayed silent, waiting for him to continue. He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for that night, up here, and for my role in his death."

"Surely you know by now that he was already dying. You're not responsible for his death. You don't need to be sorry for that."

Malfoy sighed again. "I know all that Potter. I'm not as sorry for what I did to him as I am for what I did to you."

"What?" When Harry looked at Malfoy, he was watching him, his grey eyes dark and sad.

"I didn't really get it at the time. It wasn't until Hermione explained…" he trailed off and Harry waited patiently for him to keep talking. "I know you loved Dumbledore. And you'd both gone through an unbelievable trial that night, then he was taken from you so abruptly. You didn't even get a chance to say goodbye."

Harry looked away from him then and rested his head against the wall, focusing now on the spot where he'd stood frozen, under the invisibility cloak, unable to help his mentor all those years ago.

"I wasn't the cause of his death, but I was the reason he was killed prematurely. And I know what taking him at that time did to you. So that's what I'm apologizing for Potter. You're a good wizard, and a good friend, and I'm sorry I played a big part in such a devastating moment in your life."

Harry squeezed his eyes shut and felt a few tears fall down his cheeks. He wiped them away quickly and started to rub his eyes with his hands to keep more tears from falling. "Why are you telling me this now?" he whispered when he'd finally gotten his voice under control again.

"I've owed you this apology for years. And I don't know, sometimes it's easier to say things like this to someone you're not close to."

Harry started to laugh then, which he knew was a completely inappropriate response, but if he didn't laugh, he'd certainly start sobbing.

"What the fuck? Are you going mad, Potter?" That just made Harry laugh harder and Malfoy looked back at him warily and waited for him to stop.

"Uh, do you feel better?" he asked Harry when he'd finally gotten control of himself again.

"Yes," Harry responded honestly, "oddly enough." Malfoy just nodded back at him and still looked a bit concerned.

"A part of me didn't believe in your time travel story," Harry admitted then and Malfoy gave him an understanding nod. "But now - fuck, I guess it's real. Because there is no way the version of you I saw last week would have said any of that."

Malfoy snorted, then turned his head away from Harry and back toward the same spot he'd been looking at this whole time. Harry wondered what he was thinking. They both stayed there for what felt like ages, then Harry asked, "So we're really friends in your time?"

"As unbelievable as it sounds, yes"

"You said I'm a good friend - are _you_ a good friend back?"

He laughed. "You're wondering how you could possibly be friends with the terrible Draco Malfoy?"

Harry shrugged.

"You told me recently you prefer me to your other friends at times, because I, like you, am still completely fucked up from the war. You said being friends with me is a nice reminder that you're not the only one who was damaged."

Harry didn't know what to say to that, but it was something he could see himself saying. He'd been feeling separate from his friends for about a year now. They'd all seemed to be moving on from the events of the war, even Ron and Ginny were moving past Fred's death.

But Harry still suffered from nightmares at least once a week, and cried anytime he thought too long about Lupin, Sirius, or Dumbledore.

As strange as it felt to admit it, he couldn't imagine a more fitting person to be sitting at the top of this tower with right now. Malfoy was the only other one who really knew what had happened that night, and he seemed truly sorry for it.

"What the hell happened to you, Malfoy?" Harry asked then.

The older wizard shook his head and gave Harry a small smirk, "You'll see."

* * *

_Present Time: April 2002 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Harry Potter**

When Harry arrived at the Ministry Archives the next day, he was disappointed to find the table they usually worked at empty. He spotted a folded airplane and he opened it to find a note from Hermione explaining that she was running late. Harry crumpled the note and sat down heavily.

He didn't need Hermione right now, he'd been coming for Malfoy. He hoped to find the older, nicer version he'd encounter yesterday because he had a question for him that he desperately needed answered.

After leaving Hogwarts, he'd stopped in Hogsmeade to get the photo of Malfoy and Hermione developed, then gone straight home, figuring he'd be absolutely useless in the office for the rest of the day after the emotional afternoon he'd had.

Ginny's reaction to the photo was predictable, but still hilarious. "Merlin! Look at them! I feel like I'm watching two fourth years flirt from across the library. What the hell has gotten into Hermione?"

She squinted and leaned in for a closer look, almost touching her nose to the image. "He's smirking slightly, but I can't quite make out her expression."

"She's hard to read, even in person," Harry explained as he watched the figures in the picture shoot each other side-long glances, then quickly look back at their books when they caught the other person's eye.

"Hmm," Ginny said, then she pocketed the photo. "I'll ask her about it the next time I see her."

The conversation had taken a sharp turn after that.

"Oh, I talked to Mum and explained that we'll have to miss dinner this Sunday. She said you told her we'd be there."

"Oh, right. I forgot you'd have to miss it for your Quidditch match. Did you tell her it would just be me then?"

Harry was looking through the mail but paused when he noticed Ginny hadn't spoken for several moments. When he looked up at her he knew he was in trouble but had no idea why. He put the letters down on the table and looked back at her warily. "What's wrong?"

"Why are you planning to go to the Burrow instead of my match?"

"Oh- I- I don't know. We never miss those dinners. But I can go watch you play, whatever you want, Gin."

She crossed her arms and began shaking her head. "But you already decided which event you would prefer. You want to be with my family over me."

 _Shit._ Harry knew exactly what this was about. They'd had this argument before, and he thought it was settled. Apparently, he'd been wrong.

"I've told you countless times Ginny, I'm not with you because of your family. I love you for _you_. Not because you're a Weasley. Or Ron's sister, or any of that." He put his hands on her shoulders and tried to convey this same message with his eyes, but she turned her head to avoid his gaze.

"You say that Harry, but your actions say otherwise. You _say_ you put me first, but then this choice comes up and you pick them without a thought."

Harry sighed and stepped away from her, then disappeared into the next room. "Where are you going?" she yelled behind him.

"I'm not going to talk to you when you're like this."

"Like what?"

"You're being ridiculous, Ginny. Of course I'm not with you for your family. How could you think that?"

Her eyes flashed with anger and Harry knew it wasn't a good idea to continue arguing, but by that point he was angry too and wasn't making the best decisions.

"I'm not _ridiculous_ Harry, it's a perfectly reasonable assumption. Given - well - your upbringing."

Harry narrowed his eyes at her. "So you think I'm that pathetic?"

"I didn't say that, Harry, I-"

"You didn't have to."

"No, this conversation is just going all wrong. I'm trying to explain how most times you seem to pick them over me and how it makes me feel. But you're refusing to talk to me. You just walked out of the room!"

"Because it's preposterous."

"Obviously not, because I believe it."

"Well, do you know what I believe?" Harry asked a bit recklessly.

She crossed her arms and glared back at him challengingly, "What?"

Harry knew it was stupid, but he was past trying to behave like a sane person at that point in the argument. So he said, "You may think I'm with you for your family, but I wonder if you're with me because a part of you is still that eleven year old girl who's obsessed with the famous Harry Potter."

She'd stormed out then, and Harry had immediately regretted his words. He'd replayed the entire argument, trying to find where he'd gone wrong. He'd tried to leave before it got too heated, but that had seemed to set her off. He never knew what to do with her. They obviously both had some deep-rooted insecurities, but he had no idea how they were supposed to move past them.

Harry's thoughts were interrupted by the appearance of Malfoy. He looked out of breath, then relaxed when he saw that Hermione wasn't there. "Oh, I thought I was late, I guess not."

"She's late," Harry motioned toward the balled-up note. It was present day Malfoy. Of course Malfoy would find a way to make this day worse for Harry, somehow. He sighed and dropped his head into his hands.

"You look awful, Potter."

"I know," he mumbled from behind his hands. Then he realized that this Malfoy may still be able to help him. "I saw you yesterday, at Hogwarts."

"Hogwarts?"

"You tripped your trace alarm."

Malfoy's face fell and he took a seat across from Harry. "Oh shit, I'm sorry, Potter."

Those had been almost his exact words yesterday. Harry stared at him and could almost make out the nice Malfoy in his face. Is this how Hermione felt? It explained why she bothered spending time with this Malfoy. Maybe she was holding out for the nice person she knew he'd grow into. "We're friends in the future, aren't we?"

Malfoy hesitated but Harry continued, "You don't have to say, I could tell."

Malfoy nodded back at him awkwardly.

"So you've seen me in some of your time jumps?"

He nodded again, clearly very uncomfortable with the conversation, but Harry didn't care.

"Am I with Ginny?"

He studied Malfoy's expression, but it was blank. He just shook his head and muttered, "I'm not supposed to tell you anything about the future."

"No, that's Hermione's rule. I want to know. I _need_ to know, Malfoy."

Malfoy set his jaw and stayed silent, then moved his eyes away from Harry's and focused on Hermione's note.

"Please Malfoy. I can't get anything right with Ginny. I don't know how to be a normal person around her. I can't decide if I should hold on to her or push her away. Fuck," he knew he sounded pathetic and wondered why he was telling Malfoy all this. But then he remembered something the nice version of Malfoy had said the day before.

_Sometimes it's easier to say things like this to someone you're not close to._

"I just need to know, Malfoy," Harry appealed to him again. "Do I figure it out? Or is she going to leave me?"

Malfoy considered him for a long time, then he said softly, "You figure it out."

"Oh, thank Merlin," Harry let out a long breath and dropped his head. "Wait, do we fight a lot, or are we happy?"

"You seem happy," he said simply.

Harry stared him down, trying to determine if he was lying, but he seemed to be telling the truth. "Thank you, Malfoy, I really needed to hear that today."

He nodded knowingly, then looked away from Harry.

"Um, so, I heard you went to the anniversary of the battle of Hogwarts yesterday."

Malfoy nodded and said in a dead voice. "Yes, in four years."

"Did you go alone?"

Harry watched him stiffen and they sat in silence while Harry's question hung in the air, unanswered. But Harry didn't need Malfoy to answer this one, he could read it off his face. He wasn't alone in the future, and Harry was pretty sure he knew who he was with.

Why else would he have sought out Hermione when he jumped back to the past? Why else would Hermione have told him how Harry felt about Dumbledore? And it explained why he and Harry were friends in the future, they would have to figure out how to put the past behind them if Malfoy was with Hermione.

"Are you going to tell her?" Harry asked next. But before Malfoy could respond Hermione rushed into the room.

"Tell who? What happened?" They both jumped, then Malfoy snapped his eyes back to Harry and he could tell he was pleading with him to remain silent.

Harry gave him a curt nod. He had just told him about Ginny, after all, so he figured he owed Malfoy this small favor, at least for now.

"I need to go," Harry announced then. "I'll leave you two alone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It only took Harry one chapter to figure out what Hermione has been in denial about for ages. As Draco said, he's not a well-regarded Auror for nothing.
> 
> Thank you so much for the lovely feedback. You all are the best!
> 
> As always, many thanks to my beta reader Lancashire Witch! You can follow me over on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson to see aesthetics and a few behind the scenes drabbles for each chapter. I also put a link over there to a timeline Excel file in case you're interested. Thanks for reading, please let me know what you think.
> 
> The next Chapter will be posted Saturday, Nov-21.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

_There are days when the melancholy settles on you like a sudden change in weather. The kind of sadness that is intangible. Like the presence of an ache where you can't pinpoint exactly where it hurts, you just know it does._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: April 2002 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Hermione Granger **

"Are you going to tell her?" Hermione heard Harry ask Draco as she rushed to the table they typically worked at in the Ministry Archives.

"Tell who? What happened?" she asked. They both jumped, then she saw Draco give Harry a pleading look. Harry gave him a curt nod, then excused himself rather abruptly.

"So sorry I'm late. I hate being late," Hermione started to explain, "but this one wasn't my fault. What was going on?" Hermione paused when she saw that Draco was sitting completely still and looked a bit like a ghost had just passed through him.

"I can still feel the tension between you and Harry. Were you breaking rule three?"

Draco shook his head.

"What's wrong?"

He tried to wave her off. "We were talking about my time jump. He saw my future self yesterday."

"Oh, really? Did you write down the dates for that one yet?"

She looked around for his notebook and noticed he hadn't unpacked his bag yet. "Oh, right," he realized what she was looking for and reached for the book in his bag. "I actually just got back an hour ago, so I'm still a bit disoriented."

When he tossed the book on the table, she noticed the wedding band on his left hand and froze. This wasn't the first time she'd seen this ring. He'd been wearing this wedding band when he'd first kissed her. At the time she'd been so distracted by his drunken assault that she'd completely forgotten about the ring.

But now that she knew about the time travel, it made sense. Draco was married in the future. She wondered if she was married too.

As that thought entered her mind, a lot of pieces started to fall into place. Draco had sought her out when he'd come back to the past. He'd called her stunning and complimented her dress robes at the ballet. He was always so attuned to her moods and knew just how to cheer her up. In the future, she would tell him about her worst memories from the war. And, the most obvious thing: he'd kissed her while wearing that ring.

"Oh my God."

"What?" Draco saw that she was staring down at his hand and when he noticed the ring the color drained from his face. He rushed to remove it and slipped it into his pocket, but it was too late.

"You're married," she said simply, and she was surprised when her voice came out even.

He gulped. "In the future, yes."

"To who?"

He sighed and dropped his head in his hands. "You know I can't tell you things about the future."

"That's not technically what we agreed to."

"What?" He looked up at her confused.

"I made you promise not to tell me things about _my_ future. So tell me this, who are you married to, Draco?" her voice was high now and she could feel panic rising in her chest.

"I get the sense you may already know," he said carefully.

Hermione pushed back from the table and stood up, but that was a mistake. Her head was spinning and she felt like she was going to pass out. She gripped the chair tightly and felt a hand on her arm. She focused on the comforting feeling of the warm touch then stiffened and shook it off when she remembered whose hand it was.

When she looked over at Draco, he was watching her with a look of concern. "You've known this whole time?"

He nodded and kept his eyes trained on her. He looked like he was ready to catch her in case she fell. She turned away from him and walked to the nearest bookshelf, then settled on the ground, pulling her knees tight into her chest.

"So when you go to the future, you're with me?"

He was still standing and looked down at her, worried, while he bit his lip. Why wasn't he talking? Why wasn't he trying to explain himself? "Talk to me, Malfoy! Tell me why you kept this from me!"

He crouched down and braced his hand on the bookshelf behind her head and when he looked at her, she thought he seemed a little hurt. "Hermione, I know this is a lot. Believe me, it took me a whole year to come to terms with it. But it appears, uh, we do end up married, sometime in the future."

"Do you know when?" He winced at the harshness of her tone and nodded.

Hermione started shaking her head violently. "Let's stop it then, we know how, and you said your father has the piece we need to make the extraction potion. Just, do it. Then we'll never end up together."

He looked like she'd slapped him. "Is that what you want? That wouldn't just prevent us from getting married, we wouldn't even be friends. We'd be completely out of each other's lives."

"I-" she hesitated. She liked him well enough as a friend, but as a _husband_?! And what was he talking about? Did he _want_ to be her husband?

"I know it's fucked up. And do I want to marry you right now? No. But-" he cut off and sighed but she was barely paying attention. She was thinking through every interaction with a new lens.

He'd given her that heartfelt apology. And read all her favorite books and was eager to discuss them. He'd encouraged her to talk about work and listened attentively to everything she'd said. And he'd pushed her to reconsider her relationship with Ron.

This Slytherin had utterly and completely manipulated her into liking him. And she'd been fool enough to fall for it.

"Hermione." She wrapped her arms tighter around her legs.

He repeated it a second time when she didn't answer. "Hermione, look at me." She looked back into his unfathomable grey eyes and took a deep breath.

"I know the feeling of having no choice, but - remember what I made you promise?"

She nodded as she recalled his words. _Promise that in all your interactions with me from here on out, you will never do anything because you know it happens that way in the future. You have a choice. We both do._

"Anytime I've been given a choice in this time loop," he continued, "I've done exactly what I wanted. But every step I take seems to bring me closer to you."

He looked scared and vulnerable and she could tell how much the admission had cost him; and a part of her wanted to comfort him. But the hurt and betrayal she felt toward future Draco's deception outweighed any feelings of compassion for this Draco.

"I can't. This is too much," she pulled herself to her feet and bent to grab her bag.

"Hermione, wait. You'll like the man I become, give me a chance."

"I don't like the man you become. He's manipulative and deceitful and he used what he knew about me in the future to coerce me into liking him. I thought I liked him, and I thought I liked you. But you both lied to me! I don't want to work with you anymore. You already know how to stop it. So, go do that, or not, I don't care. I'm leaving." She turned on her toe and rushed out of the library.

"Hermione-" she heard him call behind her and quickened her pace until she reached the lift. Once the door closed, she collapsed against the wall and started crying.

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

As soon as he heard the door to the lift close, Draco punched his hand against the bookshelf, grunting in pain when his knuckles collided with the solid wood frame. He hit it again, trying to get the image of her disgusted expression out of his mind.

_Do you know how much it hurts to see the person you love most in the world look at you like that?_

"Yes, Hermione," he whispered to himself. "I think I'm beginning to see how you felt."

He rested his forehead against the shelf and tried to steady his breathing. He should leave before someone found him, but he didn't think he'd be able to do something as simple as stand up and walk out of there.

He shifted his position so his back was against the shelf and used Occlumency to clear his mind. He tried to focus on flying, or the garden at Malfoy Manor, anything but Hermione.

Fucking hell, why hadn't he taken the ring off? He'd been so wrecked from the emotional day at Hogwarts that he hadn't been thinking clearly. When he arrived back in the present and realized he had enough time to make their meeting, he'd rushed straight here, not wanting to miss it, since if he had, he'd have to wait until next week to see her again.

Then Potter had distracted him. _Fucking Potter._

She wanted him to end the time loop. Of course she did. What had he expected? He felt tears well behind his eyes and rushed to rub them away. _You're still in public, get a hold of yourself._

He went back to his Occlumency and worked at it longer until his mind was completely blank. But no amount of Occlumency could banish the feelings in his heart.

_Lonely...unmoored...fearing that no one in the world will ever truly understand you, or want to._

* * *

_Present Time: May 2002 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Hermione Granger **

Hermione was alone in her flat one night, reading through legislation from the 1800s, when she came across a loophole in an inheritance law that reminded her of Draco's story about the portrait that inherited the Malfoy estate.

He'd gone into such detail about the story, then later admitted he'd made it all up. He was such a Slytherin. She smirked to herself, then immediately frowned.

_You're not supposed to be thinking about him._

It had been a month since she'd last seen him the day in Archives when she'd figured out they were married in the future. And all month she'd been trying to stay as busy as possible in order to keep from thinking about Draco.

_You need to go back to calling him Malfoy. And also- stop thinking about him!_

But it was impossible to not think about things. Hermione was a thinker. That's why she'd always been lousy at meditation and figured she'd be lousy at Occlumency, too. She could never clear her mind. She wondered how Draco did it, since he was also a thoughtful person-

_There you go again. Stop! And again, it's not Draco- it's Malfoy._

She sighed and pushed back from the desk. Then she noticed the flames in her fireplace turn green, signaling that someone was connecting to her Floo. She went to get a better look and saw Harry's head appear in the flames.

"Hey, Hermione. I was just checking that you were there. Can I come over?"

"Yes," she said a bit eagerly. She needed something else to focus on that wasn't Draco Malfoy.

_There you go again…_

She plastered a smile on her face and waited for Harry to arrive. She was a little desperate for the company. Harry and Ginny had been doing very well, which Hermione was glad for, but it also meant that Ginny rarely spent time at the flat with her. And Ron was dating Parvati more seriously now, so she rarely saw him. They also didn't really know how to act around each other when they were alone yet, but she hoped that would get better with time.

So she'd mostly been by herself this last month, which made it especially hard to not think about a certain blonde-haired wizard who may or may not become her husband one day.

"Hey," Harry walked out of the flames then and Hermione rushed into his arms, surprising both of them with the intensity of her hug. Okay, so maybe she was feeling lonelier than she'd initially realized.

"Oh, er, Hermione? Are you okay?" He tightened his arms around her, and she nodded against his chest.

"Is this about Malfoy?"

She pulled back and scowled at him, "Please don't talk about him, this is a Dra- uh- Malfoy free space."

"Huh, okay…" Harry looked back at her warily, then took a seat on the couch. "Well, I'm not sure how this fits in with your, uh, Malfoy free zone, but I actually was meaning to ask you about all of that."

"What? Why?"

"Well, it's kind of a big deal. And I think you need to talk to someone about it. You've just kind of disappeared for the last month. You don't come out with us, you stopped coming over to my place and the Burrow and-"

"That has nothing to do with Malfoy, that's mostly because of Ron. I'm still trying to figure out how to be around him while he's dating Parvati. I mean, I'm okay with it. It's just- weird."

"Just talk to Ron. Tell him not to invite Parvati around every time if it bothers you. He'll understand. Or maybe we should do something with just the three of us. Ginny may go a bit mad, but I can try to explain-"

"No, Harry, it's fine," she sighed and went to join him on the couch. "I need to figure out how to be around Ron and Parvati, it's just-" she cut off, not wanting to admit to Harry the real reason she didn't want to be around Ron right now.

At the time of their break-up, she'd been so sure it was the right decision. The arguments for splitting up made sense and even Ron had agreed in the end. But now, knowing what she knew about Draco, and thinking back to every little comment of his that had pushed her toward making that choice…

She didn't don't how she felt about it all. Had those really been her thoughts and feelings? Or had Draco influenced her decision for his own aims? She felt completely betrayed.

And what if she'd been wrong about Ron? The last thing she wanted was to find out she'd made a mistake and should have stayed with him after all, especially since he'd already moved on.

"You can talk to me," Harry said, watching her with a worried look.

"I know." She sighed, but stayed silent, unsure how to put her thoughts and feelings into words.

"Is this really about Ron?"

She sighed and dropped her head, then shook it slowly. Harry wrapped his arm around her and she relaxed against him.

"So, you haven't seen him since you found out?"

She shook her head again.

"How long has that been?"

"A month. He's written me a few owls, asking to meet, but- I don't know."

"Do you miss him?"

"No!" Hermione pushed away from Harry and sat back on her heels. "We were barely friends," she added.

"You seemed like more."

Hermione glowered at him, but he maintained her gaze. "Don't be ridiculous, Harry. He completely manipulated me and betrayed my trust. We're over."

He shrugged. "Well, you end up married somehow…"

"Maybe not. If I commit to staying away from him from here on, that won't happen."

"And you don't want it to happen?"

"Of course not! This is Draco Malfoy we're talking about."

"When I tried to make the same argument a few months ago, you were very quick to point out how much he's changed since school."

"What is going on here?" she asked, exasperated. "Are you defending him?"

"No, well, I don't know. I just- well, I met his future self. And Merlin, was he different. Even from the slightly nicer Malfoy in this time. And for days after, I was trying to figure out what could have possibly caused such a drastic change. Then it hit me - you did."

Hermione nodded back at him reluctantly. She'd already come to this conclusion herself. It really was the most likely explanation, given all the evidence.

"So I don't know," Harry continued. "I don't really like him, right now, but I sort of liked the future version. And if you like him, I guess I'm just saying I get it, and I'll support you."

Hermione sighed and laid back on the couch.

"Uh, do you like him?" Harry asked her tentatively, like he didn't actually want to know the answer, but was trying to be a good friend.

"I don't know," she answered honestly.

"Well, do you miss spending time with him?"

She considered, then eventually said, "Yes. But I don't think that's really about him, specifically. He was just really interesting to talk to."

She looked up and saw him looking back at her sardonically, "So you're going with denial?" he teased.

She rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at him, which he caught easily. "Can we change the subject?"

He rolled his eyes, but obliged and let her ramble on about the laws she'd been researching earlier. He was even able to keep the yawning to a minimum. Harry was a good friend and she was glad he'd come over. His unwavering support was exactly what she needed right now.

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Draco didn't even look up from his star charts. "Go away, Blaise."

"I'm here to rescue you from your depressing, self-imposed isolation."

"I am not in isolation," Draco said in a bored tone as he traced out a constellation and compared it with the reference book.

Blaise closed Draco's book with his wand and Draco snapped his eyes to meet Blaise's dark ones, which were glittering with amusement. He watched Blaise shift into a dueling stance.

"Come on, Draco. It's been ages since we've dueled. Honestly, it's been ages since we've done much of anything, that's why I'm here, to take you out."

Draco grabbed his wand from the table and aimed it at Blaise. "If you win, I'll go out."

"Perfect." Before Draco could step from behind the table Blaise dove to the ground and swiped his feet under Draco's legs. As Draco fell, Blaise rose onto his knees and snatched Draco's wand out of his hand, then jumped to his feet and looked down at Draco with both wands pointed at his head.

"I win," he was beaming.

"What the fuck? I thought we were dueling like wizards."

"We never set the terms up front." He bent and offered Draco his hand, but Draco swatted it out of his way, then took his wand back and shot a stinging hex at Blaise, which he parried easily.

"Are you going to tell me why you're so depressed?"

_Where should I start? First off, I fucked things up with a witch I like, by forgetting to remove the wedding band she herself asked me to wear four years in the future. So then she found out that she's going to end up married to me and completely lost it, and acted like it was the worst news she'd ever gotten (and this is someone who lived during a fucking war)._

_Then, she ran off and now refuses to talk to me and has returned every owl I've sent her. Oh, and to make things more complicated, the witch is a Muggleborn, and not just any Muggleborn; it's Hermione Granger._

"No," was all Draco said and Blaise shrugged, like he wasn't surprised.

"Green Dragon, eight o-clock." Blaise disappeared back through the Floo before Draco had a chance to protest.

* * *

** Theo Nott **

"Draco's depressed for some reason. I think he needs to get laid." Blaise started talking as soon as he exited the Floo. Theo wondered if he'd even taken a second to assess whether Theo was actually in the room first.

"It's polite to pop your head in before Flooing over," Theo grumbled.

"I know," Blaise said simply. "Anyway, we're going out tonight to try to cheer Draco up."

"Not everyone is like you Blaise, getting laid isn't the solution to their problems."

"Yeah, you need to get laid too. We're meeting at the Green Dragon at eight o'clock."

"Should I even bother protesting?" Theo asked. But Blaise was already gone.

"I'll take that as a no," Theo mumbled to himself.

And that was how Theo now found himself at the bar, sitting next to very sullen Draco, while Blaise flirted with a red-head witch who looked like she'd just graduated Hogwarts. He looked over at Draco and saw that he looked just like Theo felt: lonely, sad, and hopeless.

"What's the matter with you?" he asked, suddenly curious what would cause Draco to be so down. He hadn't seen him like this since seventh year.

"None of your fucking business," Draco grumbled, then downed the rest of his whiskey and motioned for the barman to refill his glass.

"Well, if Blaise _is_ right, and getting laid is the solution to all of life's problems, there's a pretty witch eyeing you from across the bar."

Draco barely looked up then shrugged and went back to staring off into the distance. What the hell was wrong with him? Theo knew it wasn't about Astoria, since they'd broken up ages ago. And the way he was behaving now, being so open with his sadness, was very un-Draco-like. He was always quick to hide his emotions; it was something he'd picked up from his father.

Theo felt awkward seeing him like this. He felt like he should do something but had no idea what. And honestly, if Theo had an antidote for melancholy, he would have taken it himself by now.

"So I'm guessing by your obvious enthusiasm, you're not interested in the witch?"

Draco shook his head, "She's not my type."

Theo looked back at the witch and was about to point out that she looked a lot like Astoria, but figured it probably wasn't a good idea. Then Draco finally looked over at Theo and took in his appearance.

"You look like shite, what's wrong with you?"

"None of your fucking business," Theo said, repeating Draco's earlier response, and Draco smirked. They both went back to sipping their drinks in silence.

Theo looked back toward the witch that looked like Astoria, then surreptitiously moved his eyes toward the sandy-haired bloke on her right. He looked away quickly when he caught the wizard looking at him. They'd been eyeing each other for the last hour, but Theo seemed to be the only one trying to keep their silent exchange a secret.

When he worked up the courage to look back at the bloke, the man nodded toward the back of the bar, then got up and walked in that direction. Theo strained to see where exactly he'd gone, but lost sight of him behind a crowd of witches. His heart started to pound hard in his chest.

Did he mean for Theo to follow him? What if he'd misread the situation? Theo looked at Draco, who was still distracted by his own thoughts, then he downed his drink and excused himself to the washroom.

Even if he had got it wrong, he could just pretend he was going to the loo, it was in the same direction the wizard had gone. Theo got to the door to the loo and the bloke was nowhere to be seen. Theo sighed. It was nothing. He'd probably just been getting up to leave. Fuck, he was such an idiot.

He turned back toward the main room but was grabbed and shoved into a side hallway. He saw then the wizard had been hiding under a Disillusionment charm. He felt the familiar, cold feeling of the charm being cast on himself, then looked down and saw the wizard was pointing his wand at Theo.

Theo appreciated this stranger's commitment to discretion. But before he could say so, the bloke smashed his lips against his. Theo pulled the other wizard close and grunted slightly when he was slammed against the wall behind him, but he didn't really care. They both devoured each other desperately, as if they both understood the moment was fleeting and wanted to get as much out of the experience as they could.

The bloke (Theo should really get his name) pulled away and whispered, "Ditch the depressing blonde and let me apparate us back to my place." Theo considered it, then froze and stepped back. What was he doing? He could _not_ be doing this. Not here.

"Sorry," he mumbled, then rushed back to the bar. He panicked when he saw Draco was gone. Had he gone to the loo? Had he seen? Did Theo even care at this point? Blaise already knew he was gay, but Draco was different.

Draco was from a traditional pureblood line, just like Theo. And if he found out, he could cause big problems for Theo. Blaise came behind him then. "Don't tell me you're leaving too?"

Theo jumped, then tried to regain his composure and asked as casually as he could manage, "Draco left?"

"Yeah. He said he didn't want to pick up any witches tonight and disapparated. And we both know you don't want to pick up witches either."

"Keep that to your fucking self!" Theo snapped.

"I am, it's just us," Blaise motioned to the empty space around them. "Why, do you think someone is spying on us?" He began looking around, then made an exaggerated gesture of feeling the air around them for someone invisible.

Theo rolled his eyes. "I'm going too."

"Come on, what happened?"

"Nothing." Theo disappeared with a crack before Blaise could question him further.

As soon as he got back to the sitting room of Nott Manor, he picked up a vase on the side table and threw it against the wall. Then he picked up a nearby lamp and threw that too. He looked around, but was out of things to throw, so he pulled his wand out of his robes and summoned an ugly ceramic bowl from the next room and threw it as well.

He stared at the mess he'd made for a while, then dropped onto the couch and held his head in his hands. He felt as broken as those shards of ceramic and glass.

What was he doing? What was his plan? He'd been through this cycle before. He'd pretend he wasn't gay for months. Then the tension would bubble over and he'd end up doing something like tonight. After that, he'd feel embarrassed and ashamed and start pretending again.

But he knew he'd be back in this same position soon enough. This wasn't sustainable. But the alternative, being gay in pureblood society, especially as the sole heir of one of the most prestigious estates; that was unthinkable.

"Fawcett!"

An old house elf appeared a few feet away from him. "Yes, Master Nott?"

The elf took in the destruction but didn't seem upset. "You is needing me to clean this up, young Master?"

"No," Theo began pacing the room and tried to focus on his feet touching the ground; anything to keep him from feeling like he was falling into an endless abyss.

"You is wanting me to talk about my day?"

"Yes," Theo hissed, continuing to walk around the large room.

"Okay sir." The elf began to talk about what he'd done that day. At first, he'd been alarmed when Theo asked him to do this. But he'd become used to it by now and chatted dutifully about the work he'd done earlier. Meeting with the other elves, planning out the meals, dusting the portraits in the East Wing, trimming hedges in the garden…

Theo focused on his scratchy voice and reminded himself that he wasn't alone. If he left, Fawcett would notice he was gone. And Blaise too, after a week or so. He didn't know how much those two would care about his absence, but they'd notice, and that was better than nothing.

* * *

_Present Time: August 2000 / Draco's Time: May 2002_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

Draco's next time jump did not take him to future Hermione, as he'd hoped, but to the past. He paced his flat for a few moments, wondering what to do, then he remembered the café Hermione had taken him to and what she'd said about his future self going to meet her there.

It took him ages to find it. And he'd almost given up when he finally spotted the familiar green awning, then checked the window and his heart leapt when he saw her bent over a book. He couldn't get inside fast enough, but hesitated a few paces from the table, suddenly worried about what he might be walking into.

Had they met here before? If so, would she bring up a topic from a previous conversation? What would he say? She noticed him then and he closed the distance to her table and took a seat across from her, trying to act confident.

"Who identified us to Bellatrix when we showed up at the Manor?"

Draco winced, "My mother."

"And what did I order when we went out for drinks a few weeks ago?"

Draco raised his eyebrows in surprise. Shit, she knew something was wrong. He tried to don a look of indifference. "I don't remember."

"What book did we talk about the first day you showed up here?"

Draco sighed. "I don't remember that either. It's me, I just have a shite memory sometimes."

Hermione looked back at him confused, "I don't remember that from school."

"It was - uh - an accident from the war," he said vaguely, wishing he'd prepared a better story in advance.

"Was there an aging potion accident too?"

Draco looked back at her, surprised. "What?"

"You look different every time I see you. Sometimes older, sometimes younger, like now. It's subtle, but there's definitely something there."

He smirked back at her. "I didn't realize you were studying me so closely, Hermione. Do you like what you see?"

She rolled her eyes. "No."

Draco smiled back at her. He was so happy to be here. He'd prefer to be with her in the present (well, if he was being honest, he'd really prefer to be with future Hermione) but he figured this one was better than no Hermione. He racked his brain for something to say to keep the conversation moving. "I have a question about Muggles. Where do they keep their gold?"

As Hermione talked, Draco began to note the differences between this Hermione and the one from his time. This one was too polite and on guard. He hadn't realized how much more comfortable she'd become around him in the past several months of researching together until now.

He tried to stay relaxed with her and smiled more often than he typically would, since it was obvious how much she liked it. But the entire interaction felt extremely odd. He felt like he was standing on a precipice and any wrong move would cause him to fall. So much of his relationship with Hermione in the future hinged on these meetings going well. If he made one wrong move, she may decide he wasn't worth her time.

He'd always thought when he reached the point in the time loop where the majority of his jumps were to the past, it would be easier, since he'd see them coming. But he was re-thinking that now. The pressure to keep everything on track was almost too much to bear.

And that was assuming he hadn't already fucked it all up in his own time. Hermione refused to speak with him and obviously just wanted him to break the time loop so she'd never have to see him again. How were they supposed to get together if she wouldn't return his owls?

He tried to stop worrying and enjoy his conversation with her, but when they parted, he settled back into his dark mood and began to stroll the streets of London. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. And this month away from her had just confirmed what he'd already known, but had been denying for months.

He wanted to get to that future with Hermione. But he didn't just want to jump there. He wanted to experience every little moment that got them there. He wanted to make a history with her, but he had no idea how to start it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I think most of you readers feel the same way. The time jumps are fun and all, but you're finally ready to see how the present Draco/Hermione get to that time. Don't you worry, it's about to start happening.
> 
> We've finally got Draco on board with this whole Dramione thing. We need to work on Hermione now. But she can be quite stubborn, so she's not going to get there on her own. Draco is going to have to help move this along somehow...hmm…
> 
> And yeah, poor Theo made a brief appearance. We'll see more of him later.
> 
> Many thanks to my beta reader Lancashire Witch for her continued support of this story in these crazy times! You can follow me over on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson to see aesthetics and a few behind the scenes drabbles for each chapter. Thanks so much for reading, please let me know what you think.
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Mon, Nov-23.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

_I don't want you to love me because I'm good for you, because I say and do all the right things. Because I am everything you have been looking for._

_I want to be the one you didn't see coming. The one who gets under your skin. Who makes you unsteady. Who makes you question everything you have ever believed about love. I want to be the one who makes you feel reckless and out of control; the one you are infuriatingly and inexplicably drawn to._

_I don't want to be the one who tucks you into bed; I want to be the reason why you can't sleep at night._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: June 2002 / Draco's Time: February 2004_

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

When Hermione heard a knock on her door that Saturday, she knew instantly who it was. She was a little surprised it had taken him so long to show up. When she cast a revealing charm on the door to confirm her suspicion, she could tell just by the way Draco was standing in the hall that he was from the future.

He held himself with an air of easiness and self-confidence that the current Draco had not yet mastered. She remembered that she was the likely culprit behind this change in him, then worked hard to silence that pesky voice in her head before she opened the door.

"How do you know where I live?" she snapped at him as soon as he turned to face her.

He cocked an eyebrow at her and smirked playfully. "Do you really want to know?"

She sighed and moved her hands to her hips. "Because we're madly in love," she said sarcastically. "You probably come round here all the time. Maybe you even live here. Is that it?"

"No, you move into my place, then once we're married (which is happening soon), we plan to buy a house in London. We're looking for one now."

Hermione hit him on the arm. "You cannot tell me things like that!"

"You started it."

She crossed her arms and glared at him. "I need time away from you. You're not supposed to be here. I'm sure you know I've been avoiding your owls in this time."

"Come on, Hermione, we both know you're dying to yell at me, so let me inside so you can unload all your frustrations, then maybe we can spend a nice afternoon together when you're done."

She glared back at him and moved so she was blocking the doorway. "This is exactly why I'm upset with you. You take what you know about me from our interactions in your time, and use it to manipulate me in this one."

He sighed and squeezed the bridge of his nose. "And how have I manipulated you, Hermione?"

"You tricked me into liking you. You read all my favorite books. You made me feel better when I was down. And Ron- you pushed me to split up with him."

"Do you really want to have this conversation in the hall?" he looked pointedly into her flat and she sighed, then eventually moved out of the way and motioned for him to go inside. He walked straight into her kitchen and began making tea and she watched him, annoyed that he knew where everything was and had even selected her favorite mug.

They were silent as he made the tea, then when he slid her mug across the counter he sighed and started talking. "First, I'd like to point out that most of the Dracos you met in the café weren't me. Well- not yet. I've only met you there twice so far. Once, I tried to duplicate Muggle currency to prove you wrong, which, predictably, backfired. Then the second time, you asked me to leave because you incorrectly assumed I didn't want to spend time with you in public since you are a Muggleborn."

He sighed and took a sip of tea, then continued. "But, regardless, I can confidently say that I did not seek you out with the intent to manipulate you in any way."

He put his mug down and leaned onto the counter, staring intently into her eyes. "I'm living this insane life where I'm lost in time. And even now, you'd think I'd be used to it, but I get a little scared whenever I time jump. But when I'm with you, everything makes sense, and I don't feel lost anymore."

He raised his hand to her cheek and brushed his fingers against it lightly. Hermione knew she should step back out of his grasp but couldn't make herself do so. "That's why I find you anytime I'm thrown to the past, Hermione. I love you. And sure, I talk about the things you like and cheer you up, if you need it, but it's not to manipulate you. It's because I'm only truly happy when you are."

Hermione could see by his eyes that he was telling the truth and she couldn't look away from the look of raw adoration she saw in them. No one had ever looked at her like this before, not even the other versions of him she'd met. He must have been holding back. She eventually regained her composure and stepped back from the counter. He dropped his hand and picked his mug up again.

"I don't really know what to say to all of that," she admitted. He smiled and nodded understandingly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked.

"Well, I couldn't break rule number one."

"Was that the only reason?"

He shook his head. "I think I was worried about your reaction. It turns out that apprehension wasn't unfounded. You kind of broke my heart when you ran off the day you found out." Her face fell but he waved her off. "Don't feel too bad about it- it was nothing compared to my reaction."

"I know you said you didn't come back for the purpose of manipulating me, but it doesn't change the fact that if it wasn't for those visits, I never would have become your friend, and then, eventually, your wife, or, uh- fiancée."

He nodded but stayed silent, waiting for her to continue.

"A large part of me just hates the inevitability of it all. It feels…"

"I know," he cut in. "Really, I do. But keep in mind, it's not me you're upset with, it's the universe. I didn't start this time loop on purpose, I'm a victim just like you," he smiled at her and she couldn't help but smile back.

"Anyway, I'm not here to fix this rift between you and the Draco from this time; that's his job. I just want to have a nice afternoon with my lovely fiancée." He turned to put his mug in the sink, then walked to her side of the counter and offered her his arm. "Let's go out."

She stepped away from him and crossed her arms. "No."

He rolled his eyes, "Come on, Hermione. I already know you do this."

She raised her eyebrows. "Do you really think that's the way to get me to go with you?"

He sighed and added, "Please?"

She regarded him for a long time, then eventually placed her hand on his arm. He didn't waste any time in apparating them to a dark alley outside a Muggle ice cream shop. After picking out two cones, he led the way to the same park she'd brought him to on her birthday last year.

They ate in silence, then Draco pointed toward a couple across the lawn and asked, "What do you think they're fighting about?"

She'd played this game once with him and he'd been awful at it, making every story dark. She wondered if this was something they did for fun in his time and if he'd gotten any better at it.

"Do we do this a lot?" she asked.

"Yes."

She turned back to the couple he'd pointed out earlier. "I think that woman is upset because she recently found out her entire life is predestined and she's just living in an ominous time loop."

"Hmm. And that bloke with her thinks she's being overly dramatic." He turned to her and smiled. "Relax, Hermione, and just be here with me."

"The you being here part is what is keeping me from relaxing."

"Well I refuse to go anywhere else. I'm missing out on a lovely day with you in my time, so I intend to spend it with you here instead, even if you insist on being bitchy. So get over it and play this fucking game with me."

"You're a prat."

He smirked. "I know, you get used to it."

They were quiet again and Hermione took the time to reassess her feelings for Draco. She was still uneasy around him, but figured that was normal, given their strange situation. But she couldn't deny that she enjoyed her time with him. She definitely liked him as a friend and she'd missed him this past month. But did she like him romantically?

He was undeniably handsome and could be very charming when he wanted to. And he was extremely bright and ambitious, just like her. But he was still Malfoy. Draco Malfoy. Draco _Lucius_ Malfoy. The most stereotypical Slytherin she'd ever met, a former Death Eater, and her childhood bully. Could she really end up married to him?

"Stop thinking so much, Hermione, you're going to make yourself insane."

"Why don't you stop trying to guess at my thoughts? I hate it." She crossed her arms and scowled at him, but he just smiled back at her warmly.

"Close your eyes."

"No."

He smiled, then added, "Please, just try it."

"Why?"

"Close your eyes and you'll see."

She glowered at him, but eventually curiosity got the better of her, as he likely knew it would, and she closed her eyes with a huff. Nothing happened for a few moments, then he grabbed her hand gently and linked his fingers with hers.

"Draco," she said in a warning tone and she felt him rub his thumb along the back of her hand.

"Just stop thinking and sit here with me."

She decided to listen to him without protest this time. Mainly because holding his hand felt nice and she was getting tired of fighting so hard against this force that was pushing her toward him, at least for now.

"I know when you try to apply logic to us as a couple, it seems preposterous. But if you stop trying to reason it out, it feels right, doesn't it?" he asked.

She kept her eyes closed and focused on the feeling of her hand in his. He was right, but she wasn't about to admit that so easily, so she stayed silent instead. After a time she asked, "You really love me?" She didn't open her eyes, not sure she wanted to see his face right now.

"Yes," he said quickly.

"Well, I mean, her, or me in the future, of course," she clarified.

"I love you in my time and I love you now. You're the same person, as am I. And I know you think I'm trying to guess at your thoughts as part of some sinister plot to coerce you into doing things you don't want to do. But I can assure you that is not it at all. I just want to understand you, Hermione."

She didn't really know why, but for some reason his response caused a single tear to fall down her face. She felt him brush his knuckles against her cheek to wipe it away, then she took a deep breath and finally opened her eyes and looked back at him. He was watching her with a look of love and concern.

She pulled her hand out of his and looked down at her lap, a little embarrassed. "I thought you weren't trying to fix the rift between us."

He didn't respond, but when she peered back at him, he was smirking.

"Slytherin," she muttered, and his smirk widened.

* * *

_Present Time: February 2004 / Draco's Time: June 2002_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

After his next time jump, Draco hadn't even had a chance to check the date or assess his surroundings before he saw Hermione walking toward him down a long, dimly-lit hallway. He rushed to her and scooped her into his arms, not even caring if they were in the middle of a fight in this time, he just needed to be close to her.

"Well, hello to you too," she said in a light tone, her voice slightly muffled against his chest. He tightened his grip on her and took a long breath, relishing the familiar scent of her floral shampoo. He looked around then and recognized one of the hallways near the library at Nott Manor.

"What's wrong?" she asked then, her voice was still muffled.

She finally let her go and drank in her appearance. She looked beautiful, and happy. He looked down at her hand and saw the gold engagement ring. _Thank Merlin, you haven't completely fucked it up._

He moved his hands to either side of her face and lifted her head up. "Tell me," he said in a rush, "tell me, that as soon as you found out about us getting married in the future, you stayed away for a month, then eventually forgave me and agreed to give me a chance. Please, tell me I haven't fucked it all up."

Her face fell. "What? As soon as I found out we went to lunch, then talked for hours. I forgave you and we started dating shortly after."

"What?" he dropped her face and stepped back, alarmed. How was that possible? What did it mean for their future? Would he still be able to make it to a time like today, with Hermione happily wearing an engagement ring he'd given her? Or was it already too late?

She closed the distance between then and kissed his cheek, then whispered in his ear, "I'm kidding, Draco, we were apart for weeks. I just needed to collect my thoughts about this whole time loop, but it will turn out fine."

Draco pushed her away gently and studied her face and saw the amusement glittering in her eyes. "That wasn't funny," he grumbled.

She smirked, "I disagree. Anyway, we're at Nott Manor, as I'm sure you can tell," she motioned around the hall. "Stay still while I transfigure your clothes to match what you were wearing before."

"You meeting me in a dark hall after I time jump is becoming a theme. Is that something we've worked out?" he asked as she worked on his clothes.

She shrugged. "We've never discussed it, but yes, when you flicker then excuse yourself abruptly, I follow to make sure you know what's going on and to ensure when you come back you're wearing the same outfit."

"Has anyone else noticed the flickering?"

She nodded again, then stepped back and examined her work, seemingly satisfied with his appearance. "Yes, they all have different theories about it. The guys think it's some kind of signal for us to go shag. They think we have a big shagging problem, actually. Which makes sense, since you usually come back disheveled." She motioned toward his clothes, which were a little wrinkled from the transfiguration.

Draco nodded, remembering the jokes made about them shagging at his birthday party. He reached for her and messed up her hair.

"Hey!"

"If we're meant to be shagging, then we need to sell it."

She rolled her eyes as she straightened her hair.

"How is the shagging? Your best ever?" he raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"Meh."

"Better than Weasley," he pressed.

She gave him a noncommittal shrug, then turned and began walking back toward the sitting room. He ran to catch up with her and pulled her against his side and felt her stiffen slightly, then eventually she sighed and relaxed against him.

"I'd ask what time you were from," she said, "but from our previous conversation, I'm guessing May or June of 2002?"

He nodded. "I've meant to ask, how do you not know? We keep track of all the time jumps."

She shrugged, "I don't like to know too many details about my future, even now. So you keep track and only tell me what's coming if you think it's important for me to know."

"What time is it here?"

"February 2004."

They cut off their conversation as they entered the room where Daphne, Blaise, and Theo were chatting casually.

"How was it?" Theo asked in a bored tone.

"Not his best," Hermione answered matter-of-factly, then went to sit next to Daphne at the far end of the couch. Draco could tell he'd been sitting at an empty chair between Blaise and Theo, but he ignored it and marched over to Theo, motioning for him to move.

"Are you fucking serious? This is my house."

"And that's my fiancée you're sitting next to. Now move."

Theo grumbled, but when Draco brandished his wand he stood up and took a spot on the chair, while Draco settled next to Hermione on the couch. When he pulled her close to him, she whispered, "Stop being such a prat, you've mostly outgrown that by now."

He ignored her and kept his arm around her as he turned back to Theo and tried to make it up to him by being overly polite for the rest of the day.

When Hermione and Draco got back to his flat, he saw there were brochures for houses spread across the surface of the table. They must be planning to move once they got married in a few months. She saw him notice the papers but didn't say anything.

"How was I?" he asked, "Hopefully not too obvious?"

She shook her head. "You did well, though you were more affectionate than normal. I don't believe you took your hands off me the entire time." She paused to fix him with a stern look. "I understand why, so I'll let it slide this time, but seeing as how we're not dating in your time, it's not entirely proper."

"When I snogged you, you had a boyfriend in my time, so this is an improvement-" he cut off. "Wait, that has happened for you already, right?" He was trying to recall the timeline.

"Yes," she crossed her arms and smirked, "the last time I saw you, a few weeks ago."

He remembered the conversation they'd had after the silent auction and looked back at her, concerned. "About all that Hermione, I'm sure now I was right when I said it was about _you_ , and not anything else. I do like you, in all the times."

He walked to her and placed his hands on her hips. "And I'm sorry for touching you so much today, but I've been desperate to see you in my time and you've been ignoring me. So you'll have to forgive me." He sighed, and added, "Please, tell me our separation in my time will end soon, I'm not sure I can bear it for much longer."

Hermione nodded back at him kindly. "As I said before, we'll be fine. I'm just- well, struggling with what I regard to be a rather large and important decision."

He saw her chewing her lip, like she was considering something, then she smiled and said, "There's a poem my father would remind me of anytime I was struggling to make up my mind: 'You will always find the answer in your heart, where it has been waiting since long before the question.'"

"I like it," he said, smiling back at her. "And thank you for today, and for reassuring me. It was exactly what I needed."

He leaned in to kiss her, but she pressed her fingers to his lips, stopping him. "Sorry, Draco. Not this time. If I let you kiss me again, I won't hear the end of it from your future self."

* * *

_Present Time: June 2002 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

When Draco returned to the present, he went to the Manor for the first time in ages. He apparated straight to his room to gather his Quidditch things, then changed and apparated outside, desperate for a long flying session. He needed the clarity of mind that he could only find on a broom.

He flew around the estate for hours, trying to sort through his plan for Hermione. While he was in the future, he wondered what the other version of him was doing. Had he sought Hermione out and tried to ease some of the tension between them?

The thought of that made Draco a little jealous. He knew Hermione liked his future version more than him, and it made sense, but he didn't want that anymore. He wanted her to like _him._ And he wanted to show her that he could be good enough for her.

He remembered Hermione's comment about his future self not liking her kissing him. How odd to be envious of yourself.

The more he thought about his future self, the more he realized that he wasn't going to come back and fix all of this for him, Draco would have to do it himself. This was his choice, and he knew the future version of him wouldn't take that decision away. If he wanted Hermione, he'd have to go and do something about it.

He'd decided to go find her and force her to hear him out by the end of his flying session, but once his feet were back on solid ground, he began to doubt himself. What if she rejected him again?

When he got back to his flat, he saw a small scrap of paper on the table that he hadn't noticed before. It was an address in London, and he knew instantly who had written this note and where the address would take him.

It took him an entire week to work up the courage to go to her flat. And once he arrived outside the door, it took him a full ten minutes to knock. She was frowning when she answered. "I know how the future version of you knew how to find me. But _you_ shouldn't know where I live."

So future Draco _had_ come to see her. What had he said? Was she still angry with him? She looked annoyed, but not overly cross. "He left me a note," Draco said simply.

She rolled her eyes, then crossed her arms and stared back at him. "What are you doing here?"

Draco took a deep breath before saying, "I've come to ask you out."

She was silent for a long while, then moved away from the door. "You should probably come in."

"Is that a yes?" he didn't expect it to be so easy.

"No, but we shouldn't talk about this in the hall."

He followed her inside a neat flat and noticed a few pieces of furniture that would later end up in the home they shared together. She was watching him intently, but he tried not to let anything show on his face.

When she sat on a large couch and crossed her arms, looking back at him expectantly, he finally started in on the speech he'd prepared and practiced countless times over the past week.

"I know it's a lot, and we both have interactions with the other person from other times clouding things. And - well, it can feel like moving forward now is agreeing to move in together, and get married, and we – well, we barely know each other.

"But I'm not asking you to marry me right now, I just want one date. And it's not because I know what happens in the future. I truly want to get to know you better, in this time, because I like you and have enjoyed spending time with you so far."

She was silent, considering, and he added, "You're going to get a choice every step of the way, Hermione. I don't want you to feel forced into anything."

Draco stopped then and waited for her response. He could tell she was thinking hard and settled into the spot next to her on the couch. She was still silent, and he thought maybe she was trying to torture him a bit with her hesitation. If she was, it was working.

He raised a tentative hand and placed it gently on her shoulder, rubbing his thumb along the chain of the necklace he'd admired on her birthday. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then when she looked back at him her expression was sad and he knew her response before she said it, "No."

Draco wasn't expecting it and it felt worse than he could have imagined. He pulled his hand away and started going back over everything he'd said. How did he get this wrong? How had she not said yes?

"Why not?"

She looked down at her lap. "You said I could say no. Well I am."

"Fine," he said a bit harshly, "but tell me why."

Hermione pulled her arms around her and leaned against the edge of the couch. She kept her gaze down. "Why do you like me? You've never seemed very interested before, but now that you've seen the future...I don't think this is actually about me. We both like different versions of each other. Versions who love us very much. I think that feeling is what we're drawn to."

Draco shook his head. "No, you're wrong. Which is rare, I know, but bound to happen on occasion." She finally looked up at him and gave him a small smile.

"I do like you, Hermione, as impossible as it may seem. You are the cleverest person I've ever encountered. You're witty, and driven, and kind, and beautiful. You're brave and don't put up with any of my bullshit. You challenge me, and when I'm with you, I want to be all of those things too."

He grabbed her necklace again. "I agree with your father, Hermione. You're a beautiful, powerful, captivating storm. And I can see how most blokes would run in fear, but all I want to do is be near you, even though it's a bit terrifying at times."

He watched her closely, trying to see if his words had changed her mind, but he couldn't read her expression. He'd finally said everything he was feeling and if it wasn't enough, he didn't know what else he could do.

She lifted her hand to his, then gently pulled it down, but didn't let it go. "I'm worried you're not good for me, Draco. You're not who I expected at all. I mean, I am attracted to you, and I have also enjoyed spending time with you, but I'm worried it won't be enough. Even without this time travel, we will be battling against a mountain of obstacles."

She looked down at their hands then and he linked his fingers with hers and took it as a good sign that she didn't pull away. Draco hadn't realized how much he wanted Hermione until she'd said no. But now he was sure she was the only witch for him, and he was prepared to fight for her.

"Look at me." When she met his gaze, he started in on his final argument. "I know there will be a lot for us to overcome, but honestly, none of those things scare me. The only thing that scares me is the thought of you sending me away for good. I know it won't be easy. But if we wanted easy, we would have stayed in our previous relationships."

Her eyes flashed with irritation and he guessed she was sore about his role in her break-up with Weasley. He rushed to change the subject. "I know I'm not good enough for you and will probably never say or do the right thing. But I believe I'm the person you've been looking for."

"And why is that?" she asked sardonically.

"Because you're who I've been looking for, and I don't think the universe is that cruel." It was an incredibly sappy thing to say, but it was how Draco really felt and he suspected the only way to get her to agree to giving him a chance was to be completely open and honest with her, even though it felt extremely uncomfortable.

"I don't want to be the perfect wizard you'd hoped for, I want to be the one you didn't see coming. The one you sort of hate but are also inexplicably drawn to."

"You're awfully sure of yourself," she said with a smirk.

"There's something here, please tell me you feel it." He squeezed her hand, then let out a sigh of relief when she nodded slowly. _Thank Merlin._ He didn't know how he'd have reacted if she'd said no. But it would have been embarrassing, that much he was sure of.

"One date, that's all I'm asking for. Please," he added a bit desperately, then thought that he'd probably said 'please' more times in this conversation than in any other in his life.

"Okay," she whispered. "One date."

 _Holy fuck, he'd done it. She'd actually said yes._ He tried to keep the triumph he was feeling from showing on his face, but really he wanted to do one of those lame dances she did when she solved a hard problem.

"You're quite persuasive," she said eventually, "you'd do well in politics."

He chuckled to himself. "My father would be pleased to hear it."

 _Shit._ He wished he could swallow the words back into his mouth. He'd barely gotten her to agree to go out with him and then he'd gone and reminded her who his father was.

"And what will he say when he hears about this?" she asked carefully.

Draco didn't have to imagine it. The photo of his father from their wedding flashed into his mind. Then his expression of utter revulsion when they'd discussed what would happen in Draco's future. "It doesn't matter," he rushed to reassure her. "We don't have to solve everything now. Let's just focus on our date."

She looked back at him apprehensively, but eventually nodded and he left her soon after, worried if he stayed any longer he'd say something else stupid that would convince her to change her mind.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: All I have to say here is...Yay! After writing so much angst in the last chapter, it was nice to finally get a chance to write cute scenes like these.
> 
> Many thanks to my beta reader Lancashire Witch! You can follow me over on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson to see aesthetics and a few behind the scenes drabbles for each chapter. Also, quick reminder: there is a Google Sheets file with the timeline for this story linked from my Tumblr account in case you're interested.
> 
> I've been so grateful for all of the lovely feedback I've received so far. You all are so kind and I'm glad you're liking the story so much. Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Thursday, Nov-26 (Thanksgiving Day in the US)!


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

_When words run dry,_

_he does not try,_

_nor do I._

_We are on par._

_He just is,_

_I just am,_

_and we just are._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: June 2002 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

"You look stunning," Draco said as soon as Hermione opened the door to her flat.

Hermione blushed and looked down at the red dress she was wearing. It had been nearly a year since she'd began researching time travel with him in the Ministry Archives, but she still wasn't used to this Draco regarding her with open adoration like he was right now. She'd separated the two versions of him in her mind but was starting to see more and more that this Draco and the one from the future really were the same person.

"You've told me that before."

" _I_ haven't," he said with a small smile.

"This is so weird."

He ignored her comment and held his arm out for her. She hesitated for a second. She could still say no, she reminded herself. She didn't _have_ to do any of this. But he looked dashing, standing there in the hall in simple black slacks and a blue shirt, his grey eyes sparkling with anticipation as he waited for her to grab his arm. And she knew that turning back into her flat was the absolute last thing she wanted to do.

She took a deep breath and placed her hand on his forearm. She expected him to disapparate, but instead he reached into his pocket and extracted something that was wrapped in a handkerchief. "I'm about to activate a portkey, are you ready?"

She nodded, and in a few seconds felt the familiar tug behind her navel. They arrived in an empty lobby of what looked like a train station. She let go of his arm and looked around wildly, trying to determine their location. She saw a sign on the far wall written in French and looked back at Draco, confused.

"Where are we?"

"Paris. The Musée d'Orsay, specifically."

"Wait, what? You said one date."

He crossed his arms and watched her walking around the lobby, clearly amused. "It is going to be one, long date. I'll have you back by midnight if you're worried about curfew," he added teasingly.

"What are we going to do?"

"Everything. We're going to walk around this museum to start, since I assumed you'd want to do something boring and bookish." Hermione rolled her eyes but couldn't keep from smiling. "Then, I'll show you the Place Cachée, which is the Parisian version of Diagon Alley. After, we'll go to dinner. Then, if we have time before your curfew, we'll visit the Eiffel Tower - because you can't really go to Paris and not see the Eiffel Tower."

Hermione crossed her arms and turned to him, "It sounds like you're trying to fit four dates into one."

He shrugged and started walking into the museum, turning back to her when he got to the entrance. "You never laid out the parameters of what constitutes 'one date,' so I interpreted the term how I saw fit. Now come along, we only have this place to ourselves for the next two hours."

She ran to catch up to him. "Wait, we're alone in here," she looked around to confirm they were the only two people in the large room.

"What tipped you off? The quiet? The lack of other people? Your powers of deduction are unmatched, Hermione," he said sarcastically.

She rolled her eyes. "How did you manage to reserve an entire Muggle museum? And on a weekend?"

He shrugged.

"No, really, I want to know," she pressed.

He cocked an eyebrow at her. "I'll give you one guess."

She stopped in her tracks. Of course, gold. She figured money worked just as well in the Muggle world as it did in the Wizarding one, but she couldn't imagine how much it had cost to get them to close the place down for an entire two hours. "So you cleared a popular museum and acquired a personal international portkey in less than a week. This all sounds incredibly expensive."

Draco shrugged again. "There are a lot of things working against me here, and I know I don't need to list them, but money is something I have, and I plan to use every advantage at my disposal."

"How very Slytherin of you."

He shot her a breathtaking smile. "We should get going," he held his arm out to her. "You can complain about my Slytherin-ness as we tour this museum and I will, in return, point out all the flaws with your house."

"That sounds very romantic," she said sarcastically, but still linked her arm into his and let him lead the way.

* * *

As they walked around, trying to take in as much of the giant collection as they could manage in the few hours allotted, Hermione noticed Draco was barely looking at the art. Every time she turned toward him he was watching her, instead.

She kept fiddling with her hair and checking she didn't have anything on her face when she caught her reflection, but he just seemed to like looking at her. It was an odd feeling, having so much of someone else's attention. But by the end of the two hours she was getting more used to it.

And although he wasn't looking at the art, he didn't mind discussing it whenever she tried to pull his attention to a particularly interesting piece. He knew hardly anything about Muggle history and religion, which made it hard for him to comprehend the subjects of most of the pieces, but he was a willing student and by the end of the tour was even pointing out things she'd missed.

Next, he took her to the Place Cachée which she'd been wanting to visit for ages. She'd only ever come to Paris with her parents so had only seen the Muggle sights. He showed her his favorite shops and they stopped and watched the street performers, which Hermione found fascinating.

Then for dinner he led her to a restaurant at the end of the long street. She was impressed to find it wasn't a stuffy, fancy restaurant like she'd assumed he would pick, but a low-key café. After they ordered their food Hermione noticed Draco looking at her expectantly, and she guessed he wanted her to give an assessment of their date so far.

Simply put, it was perfect. _He_ was perfect. He wasn't overly polite, which would have seemed fake, but was an ideal blend of a lovely gentleman and his typical, sarcastic self. She'd had a great time with him today and didn't want the date to end. But she also knew this was a far-cry of what it would be like to date Draco in London, where they'd surely be recognized.

How would her friends react? She knew she had Harry's support, but Ron would be decidedly less supportive. And Draco's family and friends, she couldn't even begin to imagine their reactions.

But Draco didn't ask her to comment on their date, not yet. He seemed to realize that she needed to take things slowly. Instead he asked her about her work, and she turned the subject back to him, pointing out that they always talked about her job and never his. He shrugged, then started in on a long and fascinating description of how he used a combination of star charts, Arithmancy, basic maths, and his knowledge of the political and social atmosphere to place investments.

"Or you can just check what happens in the future," she suggested.

His eyes darkened. "I know you think I'm a cheat, but I wouldn't do something so overtly outside the law. I actually refuse to read the newspaper when I jump to the future for that exact reason."

"Oh, I didn't mean-" she tried to backtrack, and scolded herself for being the first one to bring up the subject of time travel. They'd successfully avoided that topic all day. She'd had to catch herself a few times from referring to a conversation she'd only ever had with the future Draco, but she'd been pleasantly surprised to find they were able to talk easily without mentioning the inevitable time loop they were both playing out.

"It's fine, Hermione," his tone was gentle and he added a kind smile to further reassure her. "I never imagined I'd be discussing advanced investment concepts on a date," he said as he took a sip of wine.

"Oh," she didn't know if he meant to poke fun at her or was impressed. "Well I guess that's because you weren't imagining dates with me."

"No," he admitted, smiling to himself, "I can't say I spent very much time imagining dates with you. Well, until the past few months, that is, when I've been able to think of little else."

He regarded her with a look of awe, like he couldn't quite believe she was really sitting across from him and she blushed and took another sip of wine. Why was she so nervous around him? He could disarm her with one well-placed compliment or smile. It was entirely unfair because she didn't think she had the same effect on him.

He checked his watch then. "What do you say, Hermione? Will you allow me to fit in one more activity, or have we reached the limit of what is allowed to be considered 'one date?'"

"I'll allow it," she said with a small smile. "As you said, we can't come to Paris and skip a visit to the Eiffel Tower."

When they got to the tower, there was a long line for the lift and Draco told Hermione to stay put, and she watched him talk to the Muggle at the front of the line who was ushering people onto the lifts. After a few moments, Draco came back to collect Hermione and guided her toward an empty lift while the Muggle watched with a glazed expression.

When they were halfway up the tower Hermione realized what Draco had done. "Draco! You confounded that Muggle!"

He looked away from her and suddenly became very interested in the city skyline.

"If you're trying to impress me, taking advantage of Muggles is not the way to go about it."

He rolled his eyes and stepped over to her, pulling her into his arms. She knew she should push him away, but he was warm, and she was feeling a bit cold. That was why she was allowing this to happen.

"Forgive me," he whispered in her ear. "The Muggles in line will only be delayed a few minutes, they won't even notice."

She remained silent, trying to ignore the lovely feeling of his warm breath on her neck.

"Please," he added, pulling back to look in her eyes. "I won't confound any more Muggles, promise."

"Ever? Or on this date?" she challenged.

He smirked and was saved from answering when the lift finally reached the top. He pulled her to the least crowded part of the viewing platform and they both looked out at the city. The view was breathtaking. Hermione tried to pick out all the major landmarks, then after a few moments she noticed they were alone on their part of the platform. The nearest Muggle was over ten feet away.

"Did you seriously cast a ward around us?" she was finding it hard to be properly irritated with him since the scale of the magic and that fact that he'd managed to do it without her notice was extremely impressive.

"Shh," he said with a smirk, "Let's enjoy this, Hermione. You're too concerned with the rules."

She focused back on the scene in front of them, but her attention kept being pulled away as she longed to examine the ward he'd cast around them. The third time she looked away from the skyline she noticed he was looking at her, and not the beautiful scene in front of them. It was just like at the museum where he didn't seem interested in the art at all, but just her.

It was an incredibly uncomfortable and exhilarating sensation, to be the sole subject of someone else's attention, and she couldn't remember a time she'd ever felt it before.

"A sky full of stars and he was staring at her," she quoted in a low voice.

He smiled. "Another poem?"

She nodded and finally allowed herself to relax, then gripped the railing and went back to watching the city. Draco shifted closer to her and wrapped an arm around her, and she leaned into him.

"Draco?"

"Hmm," she could feel his voice hum in his chest and realized then she'd never been this close to him before. Well, not this version of him at least.

"I know the date is almost over, and you probably are going to be looking for a final answer from me, but- I'm at a loss…" she trailed off and he turned so he was facing her and she missed the warmth then. He seemed to notice and cast a warming charm around them, then started moving his hands up and down her bare arms.

"I don't need a final answer on anything, Hermione. Just agree to a second date. It's a simple as that."

She shook her head and looked down at the ground. "We both know it's not that simple. It's a bigger decision. By agreeing to pursue this, I'd be agreeing to go along with it all. Moving in together, getting married, who knows what else? Well – actually – I guess you know."

He was quiet for a long while and she continued to stare down at their shoes, then he placed a finger under her chin and lifted her head, so she was looking at him. He looked determined and a little scared.

"You will always find the answer in your heart, where it has been waiting since long before the question."

Hermione hitched her breath and stepped back out of Draco's grasp. "Who told you that? Me?"

He nodded slowly and she could tell he was trying hard to keep his face blank. She wondered what emotions he was so determined to conceal. "You were talking about this exact decision when you told me that," he admitted.

"It's cheating to use my future self against me."

"She wanted you to hear that, otherwise she wouldn't have said it to me. Plus," he paused to smile, "I already told you I was planning to use every advantage I have."

She sighed deeply. "I feel as if the entire universe is conspiring to bring us together. It seems- a bit much."

He pulled her back toward him and linked his hands behind her back. "The entire universe is a lot to fight against, even for you," he added with a soft smile. "So just, stop."

She could see the lights of the city around them sparkling in his endless, grey eyes and she felt a heavy silence settle in, as if the universe they'd just been discussing was waiting, breathless, to hear her decision.

 _Don't be so dramatic; it's just another date,_ a voice echoed in the back of her mind, though it felt like more.

She liked him, and if she didn't know anything about the time jumping, or their future, she wouldn't be hesitating. So why was she so reluctant right now?

_When you try to apply logic to us as a couple, it seems preposterous. But if you stop trying to reason it out, it feels right, doesn't it?_

"Yes," she whispered, both in response to the memory and to his request for another date. She heard him let out a small sigh.

Draco lifted a hand to her face and pushed a curl behind her ear. Then he leaned close to her but stopped when his lips were an inch away from hers. "I want to kiss you," he whispered, and his breath tickled her lips. "But I can't break rule number two. And I also don't want to have to endure another lecture on witch's rights and consent and-"

She cut him off before he could finish by pulling him close and pressing her lips into his. She linked her hands behind his neck and stood on the tips of her toes to get as close to him as possible.

He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close and their kiss, which was originally rough and desperate, softened as they both seemed to realize simultaneously that they didn't have to rush this. This wasn't the end of a fleeting evening together, but rather, the beginning of a long journey. And it felt as if they had all the time in the world.

* * *

_Present Time: June 2002 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

"We missed you at dinner last Saturday." Draco was about to disapparate, eager to meet Hermione at her flat after work, but paused at his father's words.

"Yes, I apologize, I was feeling ill," he lied, trying to remember who they'd been supposed to dine with.

"It was good to catch up with our French relatives," his father continued, watching him intently, "though from what I hear, you were in France yourself. You could have visited them in their own home and saved them a trip."

Draco was silent, he knew he had to proceed carefully. If his father knew he was in Paris, then he surely knew who he was with.

"Remind me, Draco," his father's tone was dangerous and Draco realized he'd been holding his breath, then reminded himself to breath deeply and remain calm. "Why, again, were you so desperate for more time on this precarious timeline of yours?"

"We never discussed the specifics," Draco said in an even tone.

"We didn't," his father responded, and he seemed to be enjoying some dark joke. "But we both know it's because of the Mudblood."

"Don't call her that," Draco snapped, and his father's eyes widened in alarm, then turned harsh.

"This timeline cannot play out," he said angrily.

"It's _my_ life to live how I please," Draco bit back, trying hard to keep his temper in check.

"You'd give everything up for a Mudblood? One who is probably more interested in your status and vaults so she can fight some inane cause-"

"So you don't believe she could possibly like _me?_ It must be something else."

"Of course not, Draco, listen to me-""

"No. I don't want to talk to you about this anymore. Goodbye, Father."

"Draco, wait-"

He disapparated back to his flat before his father had a chance to finish his sentence, then after a few moments, when he'd calmed down, he went to Hermione's. He didn't mention the disagreement with his father, but she could tell he was distracted. Thankfully, she didn't press him on it.

He knew his father would never approve of this, but a small part of him had hoped there had been some other reason for his hateful glare at the back of that wedding photo. Even after their conversation a few months before, he'd allowed himself to hope that his father would change his mind.

But that had been a childish fantasy. Nothing was more important to Lucius Malfoy than maintaining his status in society, not even the happiness of his only son.

* * *

_Present Time: July 2002 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

There was really only one word to describe the first month after Draco and Hermione's first date in Paris: blissful.

After agreeing to a second date with him, Hermione stopped worrying about fighting against the giant force that seemed to be pushing them together and fully committed to their relationship.

Everything concerning Hermione came so much easier to Draco than he could have imagined. It was like he had known her intimately in another life and they were just becoming reacquainted after a long separation. He guessed, in a way, that was true.

Their conversations flowed effortlessly, then after weeks of non-stop talking, since although they'd attended school together, they mostly knew nothing about the other's past, they had settled into easy silences. Draco didn't think he'd ever been comfortable sitting completely quiet next to someone else, but found he enjoyed the feeling of relishing in another's company without having to come up with something interesting or clever to say all the time.

It was so easy being with her, that he had to keep preparing himself for the hardships he knew were coming. There would be a wave of difficulty once they started telling their friends and family, then there were the fights he'd jumped to in the future. But for now, he tried to focus on this peaceful time with her.

He was working at the dining table as she sat at her desk, studying a new book he'd sneaked out of the Nott library for her. The cat was watching Draco from across the room and he sneered back at it. Hermione didn't believe him when he told her the cat hated him, but it couldn't be more clear to Draco. But he didn't mind it so much. Putting up with an annoying cat was a small price to pay for the pleasure of spending time with Hermione.

It was a bit alarming how much time they spent together after just a month of dating. He came to her place every night, as soon as she was finished with work, and he stayed until it was time for him to return to his flat to sleep. Then they spent most of the weekends together, except for occasional outings she'd planning with her friends and dinners Draco felt obliged to attend with his parents.

His father hadn't brought up the subject of Draco dating Hermione again, but Draco also hadn't given him a chance to. During the week he arrived to all of their meetings exactly on time and left as soon as they were finished. And anytime he went to the Manor he made sure his mother was around. For some reason, his father hadn't told her anything about Hermione yet.

The fireplace turned green then and Draco stood quickly, ready to disappear if it was anyone other than Ginny or Potter, the only ones who knew about them. He settled back into his chair when Ginny walked out of the flames.

She was crying and Draco was immediately uncomfortable and was rethinking his decision to stay put. Maybe he should go back to his flat and let Ginny have some privacy. She noticed him then and gave him a curt nod, then turned to Hermione who had stood from her desk and was pulling the red-head into a hug.

Draco shrugged and went back to his work. She didn't seem to have a problem with him being here, so he'd stick around for now. But he couldn't focus on the formulas in front of him as his attention kept getting pulled over to Ginny and Hermione. Ginny was going on about some fight she'd had with Potter and Draco sighed, then gave up trying to do maths and focused on their conversation.

"I thought you two were past all of these petty fights," Hermione was saying.

"We were, but- I don't know. We've been better about talking through small annoyances before they turn into big fights, and I can tell Harry is less panicky about me leaving him, but- There's still this barrier between us." Ginny took a break to wipe the tears from her eyes.

"What happened just now?" Hermione asked.

"It was stupid, just like it always is. I told him I wanted to start redecorating a bit of the house and he completely lost it."

"Oh, right," Hermione said, biting her lip. She lowered her voice so Draco could barely hear her next words, and he realized then that had been her goal. "You know how he feels about the house; he thinks it's his only link to Sirius."

"I don't know, actually," Ginny responded. "Well, _you've_ told me, but Harry never has. He keeps so much of what went on in the war to himself. If we're going to last, he needs to open up to me."

"Ginerva," Draco added his voice to the conversation then.

Both witches jumped and turned to him curiously.

"Can I get into your wards?" he was walking to the fireplace now and opening the jar with the Floo powder.

"What?"

"How elaborate are the wards to Potter's house? Will I be allowed to Floo in?" he'd picked up a pile of powder but was waiting for her response before throwing it into the flames.

Both women looked completely dumbfounded, but eventually Ginny nodded. "There aren't any restrictions on who visits from this link. But what are you going to do?"

Draco shrugged and threw the powder into the flames. "I need to talk to Potter."

"Draco, I don't think-" Hermione started to protest, but Draco spoke Potter's address and disappeared into the flames before she could finish her sentence.

He wasn't entirely sure what had come over him just now, but he thought he understood what was going on with Potter in a way Hermione and Ginny couldn't, and he knew he owed the wizard a few life debts, so maybe today he could begin to pay him back a little.

* * *

**Ginny Weasley**

As soon as Malfoy disappeared Hermione jumped up from the couch and rushed to the jar of Floo powder. "I'm so sorry, Ginny. I think he may be trying to help, but he's more likely to make all of this worse."

Ginny stood and pulled Hermione back to the couch. "It's fine, leave him. Maybe he'll shock Harry out of the dark mood he's in."

"Are you sure?" Hermione looked back at her apprehensively. When Ginny nodded, she put the jar of Floo powder back and returned to her spot on the couch. But she kept looking warily back at the flames and Ginny wondered what she expected to see there.

"Do you want to keep talking about it?" Hermione asked then, finally shifting her focus away from the fire.

"No," Ginny let out a long sigh, "Let's talk about something happy. Tell me about you and Malfoy." Normally Ginny wouldn't put 'Malfoy' and 'happy' in a sentence together, but so much had changed in the past few months. And it was clear from Hermione's barely suppressed joy that she and Malfoy were doing extremely well.

"I don't want to brag while you're having such a hard time with Harry."

Ginny laughed and shook her head. "Really, I don't mind, Hermione. I'm actually extremely curious to hear how the two of you are getting on."

As Hermione explained her first month with Malfoy in excruciating detail, Ginny smiled when she noticed Hermione was bouncing eagerly on the couch. She could pretend for a moment they were back in the Gryffindor common room, discussing their various crushes.

She couldn't believe the man who Hermione was currently describing – someone who was learning how to cook, enjoyed Muggle television, read Hermione's favorite books, and even took time to edit her legal briefs, was the same wizard who had been the cause of countless tears back at Hogwarts.

If she hadn't seen with her own eyes the way Draco looked at Hermione, Ginny would have been convinced it was all part of some sinister plot to further the Malfoy name. But he clearly adored her. Though she knew the easy acceptance the unlikely couple had received from Harry and Ginny wouldn't extend to the rest of their friends. She and Harry knew how lonely Hermione had been lately, but most of her other friends wouldn't realize how much she needed something like this.

Ginny almost asked about Hermione's plans to tell everyone else, but held her tongue. Hermione was smart, she didn't need Ginny to point out the obvious hurdles on the horizon for her and Malfoy.

"You look really happy, Hermione, and I'm happy for you. You deserve this. But if for a second he turns back into that awful boy from school, send a Patronus and I'll be here in a heartbeat to hex him."

"I'll hex him first, but I'll be sure to leave a bit of him for you." They both laughed, but soon Hermione's expression turned serious.

"What is it?" Ginny asked.

"I really really like him, and it's a bit terrifying when I stop to think about it."

"What do you mean?" Ginny asked, though she knew the feeling Hermione was describing. It required immense bravery to truly commit to someone else; to tie your happiness to theirs and give them the power to break you with a single word.

"It's hard to explain," Hermione continued, "but there's something more with Draco that I've never had with anyone else. When I was dating Ron-" she cut off and blushed, then turned away from Ginny.

"You can talk about Ron," Ginny responded, laughing slightly, "You've been split up for a year and he's very happy with Parvati, and we all know by now you weren't the ideal couple."

"Right," Hermione responded with a sheepish grin. "So I was just going to say that with Ron, there always seemed to be something missing. We struggled to understand each other. He never really got why I worked so hard and I never really understood why he refused to take things seriously. But with Draco, I get him, on a deeper level, and more intuitively than I ever understood Ron. And I can tell he gets me, too."

Ginny smiled at her friend than began to shake her head. Hermione was falling in love, hard. She'd been so guarded since the war and whatever had gone on with her parents. And it had been hard for even Ginny and Harry to connect with her, but here she was, bonding with the most unlikely person.

"It all seems so fast though," Hermione admitted. "We've only been together a month, but he spends all his time here. I mean, I like it, but just a few weeks ago we weren't even talking…" she trailed off and Ginny could tell she hadn't meant to say this last part. There was something else going on with Hermione and Malfoy, but it was clear Hermione didn't want to own up to it.

"Does he sleep here?" Ginny asked.

"Oh, uh, no," Ginny smirked as Hermione began to blush profusely.

"So you haven't-"

"No," Hermione cut in and Ginny smirked again. Even now Hermione was embarrassed at the mere mention of sex. She was so cute sometimes. "I mean, when I said we're moving too fast, I didn't mean like that. In that regard, Draco has been a perfect gentleman."

Ginny nodded and was glad he wasn't pressuring her. She hoped he was patient, since Hermione moved extremely slow when it came to sex. She had waited an entire year before sleeping with Ron. "Well you may think it's very fast, but I think this whole thing has been moving unbearably slow."

"What?"

"You two became friends years ago and have been flirting during those research sessions of yours for months. It may seem to be moving fast to you, but it's just because you were denying your feelings, and now they're finally pouring out."

"How do you know all that?" Hermione asked in disbelief and Ginny smiled to herself as she noted that Hermione wasn't trying to deny it.

"I saw a photo of you studying together."

Hermione shook her head. "You got all that from a photo?"

Ginny shrugged, "Well, that, and Harry's reports."

At the mention of Harry, both girls turned back toward the fireplace, as if waiting for one, or both, of their boyfriends to reappear.

"What do you think is going on at Grimmauld Place right now?" Ginny asked, but when she looked back at her friend, it was clear that she, like Ginny, didn't have a clue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: What is going on over there? We'll all find out in the next chapter, which will be posted Sat, Nov-28.
> 
> Both of the poems mentioned on their date are from Atticus.
> 
> So this is a difficult part of the story. I've created four main characters (past/future Hermione/Draco) and now I have to turn past Hermione/Draco into future Hermione/Draco. Hopefully it happens realistically and doesn't seem too forced. Please let me know what you think along the way.
> 
> As always, many thanks to my beta reader Lancashire Witch! You can follow me over on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson to see aesthetics and a few behind the scenes drabbles for each chapter. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

_Anyone would have told you I stopped being the person I was the second you walked into my life._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: July 2002 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

When Draco stepped out of the Floo into the sitting room of Grimmauld Place, he instantly spotted Potter on the couch, crouched over and running his hands through his hair. Draco recognized it as the same couch where he and Hermione had talked to Longbottom at Easter.

But besides this piece of furniture, the rest of the room was very different. It was dark and gloomy, and Draco understood why Ginny wanted to redecorate. This place was fucking depressing.

Potter was understandably confused when he saw Draco, but then shrugged and bent his head back down, as if he lacked the energy to properly care about Draco's sudden and unexpected appearance in his home.

Draco sighed, this was worse than he'd thought. He couldn't remember a time he'd seen Potter without that familiar spark of fight in his eyes. Now he was deflated and depressed. So, the Dark Lord wasn't able to take him down, but Ginny Weasley could?

Previously, this would have shocked Draco, but he was coming to understand how incredibly powerful and dangerous love could be. There was probably some poem about that somewhere. He bet Hermione knew it; he'd have to remember to ask her.

Draco approached the couch and stopped when he was a few feet from the other wizard. "Potter," he said in a low voice.

"What?" he didn't lift his head.

Draco wanted so badly to leave then. What was he doing here? Potter had an endless supply of friends- he didn't need Draco. But, honestly, Draco was doing this more for himself than for the broken wizard in front of him.

Immediately following the war, Draco had become a bit obsessed with Harry Potter. He'd consumed every bit of information he could on the young wizard, from all the articles written about him in the Prophet, to magazine spreads about the Wizarding World's savior, to that awful book written by Rita Skeeter that seemed almost entirely made up.

Draco hadn't learned anything from his research that he didn't already know, but after a year of working through his conflicting thoughts on the annoying boy-who-lived, he had come to terms with the fact that Harry Potter was a remarkable wizard, and Draco would never measure up to him.

He'd been jealous of Potter his whole life. Starting that first day at Hogwarts when he'd chosen Weasley over him. Everything had seemed to come so easily for Potter. He was adored by the teachers and their classmates, he was naturally great at Quidditch, and he even had an aptitude for magic, despite being raised by Muggles.

Draco knew, now, that Potter was uniquely skilled and positioned to be the only wizard able to defy the Dark Lord, but the win had cost him greatly. He'd lost his parents and every adult figure in his life. But he'd somehow had the tenacity to continue to fight an impossibly powerful wizard, against terrible odds. Draco was truly grateful to him for everything he'd done, and knew it was something he never could have managed himself.

Draco didn't have Potter's force of will, or courage, or power, even. He was glad Potter was around and he owed him on a more personal level, for what he'd done in the Room of Requirement, and then later at his family's trial. This incredible debt Draco owed Potter had plagued him for a year, until he finally confronted his former rival and forced out a semi-coherent apology.

That act helped allay Draco's conscience a little, but there was still an unbelievable imbalance between him and Harry Potter. And now that he was with Hermione, it was becoming painfully obvious that there was an imbalance between Draco and her too. Really, between Draco and all her friends.

Besides Potter, there was Weasley, who could be an idiot at times, but was still an Auror and had fought hard against the dark side in the war. Longbottom had killed Nagini and turned out to be unbelievably brave in seventh year. Then there was Draco. How could he possibly measure up to the other wizards in Hermione's life?

He was clever, good-looking, occasionally charming, and rich. That was it. These were not good enough qualities. So if he had to endure an awkward conversation with Potter, it was nothing, really, and he'd have thousands of these if he had to. Anything to help him feel like he deserved someone as good as Hermione.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Draco asked. "I told you that you and Ginerva work things out."

Potter looked up from his hands and narrowed his eyes at Draco. He was glad to see a small glimmer of anger in his green eyes. It was better than the dead look he'd given him earlier, Draco reasoned.

"What are you doing here, Malfoy?"

"I'm here to help," Draco said a bit glibly. He was hoping to rile Potter up a bit, but it didn't seem to be working.

"Hmm," was all Potter said, before dropping his head back into his hands.

"Fuck, Potter, snap out of it. You and Ginerva are going to be fine. I _know_ , remember?"

Potter just shrugged. "I know you said we figure it out, but I just want to fast-forward to then, because I have no idea how we get from where we are now to some happy future."

Draco nodded understandingly. This was a good point. He knew offering reassurances about Potter's future was only going to do so much good. He sat next to Potter then took a deep breath before saying, "Tell me what happened."

Potter's response was immediate and predictable. "No."

"Fine, well do you want me to get Hermione here, instead? Or Weasley? (The male one, I mean). Because you have to tell someone, and I have a feeling it will be easiest if it's me."

Potter looked back at Draco in disbelief, "What in Merlin's name is going on here?"

Draco sighed and started pacing the room. "I'm trying to be better, okay? And your girlfriend came over crying about how you never tell her anything about the war and I thought, 'Okay, I get that, I don't tell people anything, either.' But then I did- once - in the future, and it was cathartic as hell. And I thought maybe I could come over and tell you that and you'd listen and, I don't know, that it would help you in some way."

When he looked back at Potter, he was staring at him with his mouth open. He didn't move to say anything, so Draco pressed, "Say something, Potter."

"I don't think I've ever heard you ramble before."

"You're commenting on my elocution?"

Potter shook his head. "Well, I see both you and Hermione have the big vocabulary thing in common." He started laughing then. "I thought I'd seen a lot of unbelievable stuff in the war, but having you come by my house to give me relationship advice may top all of it."

Draco couldn't help but let out a small laugh, "Yes, well, don't tell anyone."

"They wouldn't believe me if I did."

Both wizards were quiet for a while, then Potter asked, "So you told Hermione everything from the war?"

Draco kept his eyes on the opposite wall as he responded. "Yes, Potter, and I can assure it was much worse than whatever you've got rolling around in your scar-marked head. I _did_ things, as you know. But she heard it all and still wanted to be with me. It felt...freeing."

Draco could see Potter nodding in his periphery but didn't turn his head to look at him. "I may not have done anything wrong, but I carried a piece of the darkest wizard's soul inside me. And I shared his mind for years."

"Well, so did she, right? In second year? Maybe you can bond on that," he added with a dark laugh.

"How do you know that?" Potter asked sharply.

"Have you already forgotten who was to blame?"

"I know, but you didn't know about any of it at the time."

Draco looked over at him, confused. Potter said that with such confidence, but he had no idea how he could have known that. "I found out later, when the Dark Lord punished my father."

They were both quiet again. Then Potter stood up and disappeared into another room. When he came back, he was holding two glasses of whiskey. He handed one to Draco without a word and sat down on the couch again.

Once Draco had finished the drink, he stood up to leave and Potter asked, "Can you send Ginny back? If she'll agree to talk to me."

Draco nodded and Floo-ed back to Hermione's. The witches were sitting on the couch, right where he'd left them. Before Hermione had a chance to question him, he turned to Ginny and said, "Potter realizes he's an idiot who made a series of stupid mistakes and wants to apologize if you can find it in your giant Gryffindor heart to go back and hear him out."

Ginny looked back at him in shock, then over at Hermione who shrugged and asked, "Why not? You're more than welcome to come back if Draco is wrong."

"What did you do over there?" Ginny asked Draco.

He shrugged, "Just had a quick drink."

Ginny shook her head, then walked to the fireplace and Floo-ed back to Grimmauld Place.

Hermione stood to join Draco and snaked her arms around him. "What did you do?"

He smiled down at her and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. "I told you, I had a drink. Whiskey, to be more specific."

She stepped back and crossed her arms. "Well, if you don't tell me, Harry will."

Draco shrugged and returned to his Arithmancy formulas, feeling a little lighter than he had before he'd left.

* * *

_Present Time: September 2002 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

After almost an hour of watching Draco work through his investment formulas, Hermione interjected, "Why haven't you made a spell for these calculations?"

He shrugged but didn't look up. "I tried that, but the method of calculation changes depending on the star formation I'm working with. I'd have to remember twenty different spells and be sure to use the right one. It would just be more complicated."

Hermione nodded, then went to her bookshelf and retrieved her Runes textbook and started reading. After several minutes, she turned back to Draco. "If you paired your calculation spell with Runes, you could have it split depending on the star formation you're working on."

"What?"

"See here," she pulled a blank sheet of parchment from the desk and drew out five different Runes that correlated with different constellations. "You'll define the different methods of calculation that go with each constellation once, of course, but after that you can just tap your wand on the applicable Rune, then speak the same incantation. It will choose the method appropriately and do the calculations for you."

Draco was silent and looking at her oddly, then he began shaking his head and muttered, "Fuck, you really are brilliant."

Hermione blushed and shrugged.

"You've just saved me hours of work. I never even thought to split one spell into parts. I'm not sure I even know how to do that."

She shrugged again. "I can show you later. But I have lunch with Harry and Ron, remember?" This was when she was planning to tell Ron about her and Draco and she was not looking forward to his reaction.

Draco nodded and stood up, then pulled her to standing. "I have no idea what I did to deserve you." He began placing small kisses along her jaw, then stopped when he got to her lips. "You're incredible, Hermione."

She smiled and shook her head slightly, "It's just a spell, Draco. Since when are you so dramatic?" She moved to push him away, but he caught her mouth then and she gave in to the kiss.

After a few moments, she heard a thud and tried to push him away, but Draco pulled her back and lifted her so she was sitting on the table. "It's just the cat," he whispered, and she thought she saw a small smirk on his face, but soon he was kissing her again, slipping his hands under her top and gently raking them up and down her sides.

Hermione buried her fingers in his hair and was completely lost in him. She didn't snap out of it until she heard someone clear their throat behind her. She jumped from the table and turned to find Harry watching them with an annoyed expression.

"If you're quite done, we should go. Ron is probably already there waiting for us."

Hermione turned back to Draco, who was looking very pleased with himself, and hit him hard on the chest. "You knew that sound was Harry, didn't you?"

Draco shrugged innocently but she could tell by his smirk that he did.

She rolled her eyes, then turned to leave but Draco caught her by the hand and pulled her in for one more kiss. This one was soft and quick, but she could still hear Harry let out a huff of breath behind them.

"Good luck," Draco whispered, and she nodded back at him before finally going to join Harry.

When they got to the hall, Hermione turned to Harry and spoke before he had a chance to disapparate. "Sorry about Draco, he's..." she paused, searching for the right word.

"A git." Harry finished for her. She laughed and nodded.

"But he can be decent, when he wants to be."

"Yes, I've seen that." Hermione wondered if Harry was thinking of whatever Draco had said or done when he'd gone over to Grimmauld Place a few weeks before. Neither wizard had admitted what exactly had happened, but Ginny told Hermione that when she returned to Harry's, he finally told her everything he'd been keeping from her about the war and his awful upbringing.

Ginny said it was a very long, hard day for both of them, but that ever since they'd been stronger than ever.

"Right, are you ready for this?" Harry's question cut into her thoughts. She took a deep breath, bracing herself for what she knew would be a very tense meal. Then she apparated on the spot before she could talk herself out of going.

* * *

_Present Time: November 2004 / Draco's Time: September 2002_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

Soon after Hermione left with Potter, Draco felt the familiar flicker that preceded time travel. It had been ages since he'd time jumped and he wondered where he'd end up.

A minute later he appeared in the spare bedroom of the house in London. He checked the time with his wand and sighed when he saw the date: _November 11, 2004._ This was around the time he and Hermione were fighting in the future, which was obvious given his current location.

He walked carefully across the hall to their bedroom and knocked softly on the door. After a few moments, Hermione answered it and he could tell by her look that she'd immediately recognized that he was from another time. He couldn't tell how she felt about this though, since she quickly schooled her features.

"Hi," her voice was flat.

"May I come in?"

She shrugged and went back to the bed where she'd been reading. The cat narrowed his yellow eyes at Draco and Draco sneered back and followed her into the room. He kicked off his shoes, then took up a spot on the bed across from her and crossed his legs under him.

"What time are you from?" she asked, in a bored tone.

"September 2002."

A small smile ghosted across her face but was gone almost as soon as Draco had noticed it, and he wondered if maybe he'd imagined it. "That was a good time for us, before everyone found out."

Draco nodded back at her. "Are you okay, Hermione?"

"We're fighting, as you may have guessed," she motioned toward the spare bedroom.

"What about?"

She dropped his gaze and picked up the cat and placed him on her lap, stroking his back absentmindedly as she started to speak. "Do you remember what you said to me the last time you came from the past? A few weeks ago?" Draco tried to remember the timelines, but he hadn't reviewed them in ages. She didn't wait for him to respond.

"You called me repulsive and said you never would have picked me, if not for the time travel. You even pointed out that if you really loved me, you would have used your family's ring to propose." She was looking down at the gold ring on her hand and he saw a single tear fall onto the bedspread.

"The time you petrified me…" she nodded and Draco felt sick. He'd been such an idiot, so desperate to get out of the time loop, that he'd lashed out at the only person there. But look at what he'd caused. He'd never felt so remorseful in his life, and that was saying quite a lot, given all he'd done in the war.

"I was an idiot, Hermione." He wanted to touch her, but was worried she would push him away, so he kept his hands to himself. "I was confused and scared and didn't truly believe anything I was saying. I'm, so, so, sor-"

"I know," she interrupted him. "You're always sorry, Draco." When she looked up at him her eyes were sad and lined with tears. His heart broke into pieces at the sight of her.

"But it's a clear reminder that we weren't supposed to end up together. You never would have seen me on the street and thought - hmm...I want to apologize to Hermione Granger for tormenting her in school. Hmm...she's worth my time. I think she's decent looking and I can see myself ending up with her."

Draco didn't know what to say to that.

"You would have stayed with your girlfriend, moved into the Manor, and become the next master of the estate. Your parents would be on good terms with you and-"

"You're probably right," Draco cut her off, not interested in hearing more details about his and his parent's relationship in this time. "But I am so much happier now than I ever would have been in that life, aren't you?"

"I don't know. People aren't supposed to live like this, they aren't supposed to know their future. It's not natural."

"Hermione-"

"Draco, I want you to go. Please."

She looked away from him and began rubbing the cat's ears. Draco rose from the bed and slipped his shoes back on, moving slowly on the off chance that she'd change her mind. When he finally reached the door, he looked back at her and said, "You're the best thing that's happened to me, Hermione. But I understand that doesn't go both ways. I'm-" his voice caught in his throat and he took a deep breath, then finished, "I'm sorry. You deserve better than me."

She didn't say anything. She didn't even look up. He took one final breath, then let himself out of the room, closing the door carefully behind him.

* * *

_Present Time: September 2002 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

The next day, a few hours after Hermione had left for work, Draco returned to the present and appeared back in his flat. He rushed to his notebook that contained all the details of his time travel and scanned the pages for every jump after November 2004.

The Easter they spent at the Potter's was just a few months after in March 2005. Then, there was the anniversary of the battle of Hogwarts a few months after that.

"Thank Merlin," Draco whispered under his breath. She'd loved him in both of those time jumps, so clearly they'd made it through the fight they were in. He closed the book and put it back on the shelf, then took a few deep breaths. There were a lot of downsides to this time jumping, but having the knowledge that he and Hermione would make it through the hard times ahead of them was one definite advantage.

A part of him knew it wasn't fair to keep this information from her, but they still had an agreement that he wouldn't tell her about her future. He clung to that excuse, worried that if she knew how bad things would get between them that she'd change her mind and break up with him.

He checked the clock and sighed, it was too early in the morning to stop by her flat. He busied himself with a shower, then decided to walk to her place to kill more time. He stopped by a café near her flat to pick up scones and coffee and was standing outside her door an hour later. She was beaming when she answered.

"You're back! How was the time jump for you?" She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, then took the coffee cups out of his hands and motioned for him to follow her inside.

Draco was confused for a moment about how she knew he'd time jumped, then he realized that she'd likely spent the time with his future self. A slight feeling of jealousy started to flow through him.

"Thanks for this," she said quickly before taking a sip from her cup. Draco was still standing near the entryway, wondering what she and future Draco had gotten up to. The other version of him was likely relieved to spend time with a Hermione that liked him. It wasn't fair that he had to spend the weekend with a Hermione that wasn't talking to him, while his future self got this pleasant one.

"What's wrong?" she asked, finally noticing that he hadn't moved from his spot by the door.

"You saw him?"

She nodded, as if this was obvious and he sighed and looked away from her before asking, "Are you disappointed it's me again?"

"What?"

"You like him better, you've said as much before."

She put her coffee down and walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Don't be ridiculous, Draco. I used to like him more, you're right, but that was months ago, when you were being a huge prat and would glare at me like you were trying to turn me into stone. But now, I prefer you. That other Draco just feels like- I don't know- someone else's husband."

He searched her eyes and they were sincere and he nodded, then bent to give her a small kiss.

"You were with another version of me," she continued, "and I don't mind. And it's almost worse, since you live with her."

"I always sleep in a spare bedroom when I go to the future," he said. He felt bad again that he wasn't telling her that the future Draco was also sleeping in that spare bedroom.

She nodded and finally let him go, returning to her coffee. He reached into his jacket for the bag of scones and tossed it to her. "Did he kiss you?" he asked quickly, watching for her expression. He was alarmed when she blushed.

"Of course not," she said in a rush.

"You're blushing."

"I am not. Did you kiss your Hermione?"

"No."

"Well, good. We should agree not to do that, it would be weird." She was hiding something, but Draco felt guilty pressing her since he was hiding quite a lot himself. He took her proffered hand and shook on the agreement, but felt a little bad, since he knew they'd break this promise at least once in the future, mostly because of him.

She walked into the kitchen and grabbed some plates for the scones, and as she was carrying them to the table he asked, "How was the Weasel? I take it as a good sign he wasn't guarding your door."

"You have to stop calling him that," she said, exasperated.

"Will she stop calling me ferret?"

She sighed and placed the plates on the table. "No, but you can be the bigger man here."

Draco shook his head. "No, sorry, Hermione, you've mistaken me for someone else."

She smiled and sat down, then said to herself. "Who knew I'd have a thing for Mustelids?"

He rolled his eyes and took the chair across from her.

"You know my Patronus is an otter? Another Mustelid."

"Enough about Mustelids. You never answered by question about Weasley. How bad was it?"

She shrugged, "Not as bad as I expected. Harry came out surprisingly strong in your favor, and that helped a lot. And it's also good Ron and Parvati are doing so well, so there's no jealousy on his part. But he's still skeptical, of course."

Draco nodded and took a bite of his scone. They were quiet as they ate, and Draco considered the Weasel and Hermione's previous comment about being the bigger man. "I'm going to have to apologize to him, aren't I?" he asked eventually.

"Yes, I think that would be best."

Draco sighed and took another bite of his scone.

"And, uh, Neville too, if you can manage." She grabbed his hand from across the table and gave it an encouraging squeeze.

"Only because I really like you," he said with a small smile. He was met with a beautiful, ear-to-ear grin, that made the awkward conversations he knew were coming more than worth it.

* * *

_Present Time: October 2002 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

Hermione was doing her hair for the fourth time that evening when she heard Draco arrive through the Floo. A few moments later she saw his dashing appearance in the mirror and turned around to face him.

"Merlin, you look gorgeous."

She shook her head, "I don't think it will matter if I'm the loveliest witch there, I'll still just be a Mudblood to all these people."

"Don't," Draco said harshly, but his touch when he caressed her cheek was gentle. "I'm committed to hexing anyone who says that word tonight, and it would be a shame if I had to start with you."

She smiled, then turned back to the mirror to finish her hair. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" she asked his reflection.

He shrugged and sat on the bed behind him. "I think it's probably best to get this announcement out in one go. I did owl Astoria last night, so she wouldn't be blind-sighted. And my father already knows. But-" he stopped to sigh heavily, "-we'll see soon enough. If it's a disaster, we'll just leave."

Hermione finally finished pinning the last curl out of her face, then she went to where Draco was sitting and stepped between his legs, lacing her hands behind his neck. "I'm a bit scared, if I'm being completely honest."

"But you're a Gryffindor," he said with a smirk.

"'Scared is what you're feeling, brave is what you're doing,'" she quoted. "Gryffindors are still scared, we just ignore the feeling and do what frightens us anyway, that's where the bravery comes in."

"Well, no one is going to do anything to you, I'm sure of it. They may glare at you, but you're one of the most influential people in our world; they wouldn't dare do anything overtly cruel. Pureblood society members are much too concerned with how they are viewed by the public to lash out at the beloved Hermione Granger." He stroked her cheek with his thumb, then pressed a chaste kiss on her lips.

When he pulled away, she kept him in place with her arms and deepened the kiss. "Let's just stay here and skip this whole thing," she whispered when she finally stepped back.

"If by 'here,' you mean this bed, then I am absolutely in favor of that plan," he said suggestively.

"Oh, right," she started, suddenly feeling awkward. They hadn't had sex yet and he'd been a perfect gentleman about it, never once pressuring her into anything she wasn't ready for. But now, was he suggesting that they finally cross that line?

"Relax, Hermione, I'm kidding. I'm fine to wait until you're ready. Promise." He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, then stood and pulled her toward the sitting room. They were about to Floo to Malfoy Manor, but the flames turned green before Draco had a chance to throw the powder in. They looked at each other, confused, then Ginny walked out of the flames and almost ran into Draco.

"Oh, hey. You two look incredible, where are you going?"

"Uh, Draco's mum throws a Halloween Ball every year," Hermione explained.

Ginny's eyes widened. "Oh my, this is it? You're telling his friends and family?"

Hermione nodded slowly and Draco saw she was nervous again. They needed to go before she talked herself out of this whole evening.

"If you wouldn't mind, Ginerva, we should be going."

"Right, well, wait, I just need to show you something!" She shoved her left hand out and he saw a large diamond ring on her finger.

"Oh my God!" Hermione exclaimed, then threw herself at her friend. "I didn't even know he was planning anything."

"Me neither."

"Congratulations, Ginny, that is such good news."

"I know, and to think just months ago I was coming over here in tears, sure we were through." She turned to Draco and her expression was serious. "I have no idea what you did, ferret, but thank you. It was like a turning point for us. We were either going to split up or be together forever."

She looked back at Hermione and beamed. "Thank Merlin it was the latter."

Draco nodded at her awkwardly, unsure what to say. But he was happy for the two of them, truly. They seemed well suited for each other.

"Anyway, I should let you two go. Have a lovely evening. But if the Muggleborn bashing gets too out of hand, send a Patronus, I wouldn't mind hexing a few purebloods tonight," she added with a wicked grin that reminded Draco of her twin brothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hermione's quote about bravery is from Emma Donoghue.
> 
> I know this is a bit of an in-between chapter, but I hope you liked it anyway. As my beta reader said, "It's relationship building and we get to see how Draco and Hermione work together and how sweet they are." I agree. Many thanks to her (Lancashire Witch), as always, for fixing my drafts.
> 
> You can follow me over on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson to see aesthetics and a few behind the scenes drabbles for each chapter. Thanks so much for reading, please let me know what you think.
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Monday, Nov-30.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

_One day I looked at you and it occurred to me how beautiful your smile was. I heard music in your laughter – I saw poetry in your words. You asked me why I had that look on my face, as though a shadow had fallen across its sun-drenched landscape, heavy with premonition, dark with revelation. The second I tried to tell myself I wasn't in love with you was the moment I realized I was._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: October 2002 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Daphne Greengrass**

"It's not like Draco to be late," Daphne murmured as she looked around the ballroom for his familiar shock of blonde hair.

"Why do you care so much about Draco, all of a sudden?" Blaise grumbled at her side. "Jealous he didn't ask you to accompany him again this year?"

"Shut up, Blaise," she pushed him slightly, "I've told you countless times we're just friends. I'm simply anxious to see this mysterious new girlfriend of his."

She kept looking around for Draco and her heart lightened at the thought of Blaise being jealous on her behalf. It hadn't stopped him from bringing that insufferable date, however.

"He has a girlfriend?" Blaise asked. "I guess that explains why he's been missing for months. I've stopped by his flat unexpectedly multiple times, but he's always gone."

Daphne stopped looking around and fixed her eyes on Blaise. "He is? That doesn't sound like him. He never came around to our house when he was dating Astoria. He always made her go to him."

"Well, I think it's obvious why he doesn't have this new witch over to his flat," Theo spoke up.

"Why?" Daphne asked.

"The same reason we haven't met her yet. He's obviously trying to hide her."

"Why would he do that?" she asked.

Theo shrugged.

"Hmm, he told Astoria who it was last night, but she wouldn't give me a name. All she said was that I wouldn't believe it even if she did tell me."

"You know who would be unbelievable?" Blaise asked in a derisive tone.

"Who?"

"Millicent."

Theo scoffed. "Draco's too much of a snob to date someone unattractive. He'd date a Muggle before that."

"Draco would never date a Muggle," Daphne said.

"What about a Muggleborn?" Blaise asked, staring wide-eyed at something behind Daphne.

"No, never," Daphne said, and she turned to see what Blaise was looking at.

"I wouldn't be so sure," Theo muttered as Daphne finally found her friend in the crowd.

"Merlin," she swore under her breath as she caught a glimpse of Draco's date. "What the hell is he doing with _her_?"

"I'm wondering more what she's doing with him," Blaise said, as Draco caught sight of his friends and led none other than Hermione Granger over to them.

When the unlikely couple reached them, they were all silent for an uncomfortable amount of time. It was Granger who spoke first.

"Hello, nice to see you all again." She held her hand out to Daphne, but Daphne just stared down at it. Blaise reached around her to take Hermione's hand and shook it with a wicked grin on his face.

Then Theo shook her hand and said, "Just to be clear here, you're the mysterious girlfriend? Or is this a joke of some sort? Maybe...Polyjuice?" he turned to look at Daphne. "Would Draco do that? Have his new girlfriend transform into Granger to get a laugh?"

Daphne shook her head, still at a loss for words, but Draco finally spoke up. "Shut up, Theo. There's no Polyjuice. This is Hermione Granger. And yes, she's a Muggleborn. And also Harry Potter's best friend, and, well, worst of all-" he cut off, to give Granger a small smile, "-a Gryffindor, but we are dating and if you say anything else about it, I will not hesitate to hex you."

Draco wrapped his arm around Granger and pulled her protectively into his side. The group was quiet again and Draco looked over at Daphne and gave her a harsh look. She figured it was because she'd snubbed Granger's handshake from earlier.

Daphne just shook her head in disbelief. She could not recall Draco ever being this protective of someone. He'd never behaved like this with Astoria, and certainly not Pansy. How ironic that the girlfriend he was most interested in protecting was the one who needed it the least.

Blaise's date returned to his side then and for the first time that night Daphne was happy to see her. Anything to break this awkward tension. "Oh, you're Hermione Granger," she said in her dumb, high-pitched voice.

"Yes, we've established that," Theo grumbled.

"You're famous," the witch added, sounding a bit awe-struck.

Draco was looking at the young witch with a murderous glare and as soon as Blaise noticed, he turned her toward the dance floor, whispering back over his shoulder, "She wasn't wrong. She _is_ famous."

"Right," Granger spoke again, and Daphne could tell by the way she was wringing her hands that she was nervous. Well, that made sense. She was a Muggleborn at a pureblood society event.

"There's alcohol at these things, right?" she asked Draco.

Draco smirked and nodded, then pulled her toward the bar at the other side of the room, leaving Theo and Daphne alone.

"Astoria wasn't kidding," Theo said when they were out of earshot.

"I know. Even now that I've seen it with my own eyes, I'm still not sure I believe it." She watched Granger raise on her tiptoes and give Draco a peck on the cheek and he pulled her close to him and kissed the top of her head in an alarmingly sweet (and very un-Draco-like) gesture.

"It's a bit gross," Theo said, then added quickly, "not the Muggleborn thing, of course, just, how...you know, _cute_ they are."

"I know exactly what you mean."

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

"I've been meaning ask," Hermione said as she danced with Draco around the elaborate ballroom, "why did you invite me to dance at the Ministry fundraiser? It was you, not your future self, right?"

He looked down at her and smiled. "I'd already encountered you in the future and you'd told me you loved me, but I didn't know we'd end up married yet. And when I saw you that night, I guess I was curious to see if there was anything there. A spark, or, something…"

"And?" Draco pushed her out into and twirl and when she came back, he held her close against his chest and slowed their dancing.

"There was an undeniable spark, at least for me. Honestly, from that night to now, you've completely consumed my thoughts, Hermione - both waking and sleeping."

She bent her head to look up at him and saw that look in his grey eyes that made her feel like she was the only person in his world. She was about to respond when they were interrupted by his father's harsh voice.

"Draco, I need to speak with you. Alone," he added with a glare toward Hermione.

Hermione could tell Draco was about to protest, but she nodded in encouragement. "Go," she said, "I need to go to the toilet anyway."

She knew Draco was reluctant to talk to his father, but she figured whatever conversation they were about to have was bound to happen eventually, so they made as well get it over with so they could try to move past it.

When she got back to the ballroom, she joined Daphne at the far wall and saw she was glaring at Blaise and his date. She wondered what that was about and added it to her mental list of things to ask Draco later.

"Uh, hi," Hermione said awkwardly, and the blonde witch gave her a curt nod, then went back to staring at the dancers.

"I can tell you don't like me, and I'm not sure why, but I'm hoping we can get past it, since I know you're Draco's closest friend."

"Hmm," was all Daphne said, still refusing to look at Hermione.

"Is it because of your sister? Because I promise I had nothing to do with their breakup."

Daphne finally looked at Hermione and fixed her with her pale green eyes. "I know that, Granger."

"Right. Well, what is it then? Is it my blood status?"

Daphne rolled her eyes. "No," she sighed. "I don't like it when people are so direct."

"Well, I don't like it when people are so cold, but hopefully we can put all that aside for Draco. He has nothing but good things to say about you."

Daphne smirked and Hermione hoped that was a good sign. She decided to take a chance then. "That witch," she nodded toward Blaise Zabini's date, "is an idiot."

Daphne's smirk widened. "I agree. She's also not very pretty, wouldn't you say?"

Hermione looked over at Daphne, then back at the witch. "She's okay. But next to you, especially in that dress, she's not much."

"I usually wouldn't go for such obvious flattery, but tonight, with the mood I'm in, I'll take it, Granger."

Hermione nodded and smiled back at the blonde witch, "I'm always receptive to flattery, obvious or otherwise, and you can call me Hermione."

"Noted," Daphne said.

* * *

Draco had been gone for too long, so Hermione decided to go looking for him. She asked Daphne to point her toward Lucius's study and was walking down a long, dark hall now, hoping Daphne hadn't led her astray.

Just then, a door opened and light flooded into the hall. As she stepped closer, Lucius appeared in front of her and his gaze was as hateful as ever.

"Where's Draco?"

"It would be best if you left him alone," he said in a flat voice.

Hermione ignored him and continued walking toward the door he'd just come out of.

"Miss Granger," his cold voice drawled.

Hermione stopped in place but didn't turn around to face him.

"I hear we'll be working together at the Ministry."

"What?"

"Your new job in the department as the primary liaison between the Wizengamot and special interest groups. Who did you expect you'd be liaising with from the pureblood side?"

She finally turned back to face him and stared into the grey eyes that were so alarmingly like Draco's. "Arty Bulstrode represents the Sacred Twenty Eight, everyone knows that."

"He recently stepped down. I now serve as the primary representative of that group's interests."

Hermione's chest clenched at that thought. Had he made that move after he found out about her new position? What did that mean? But she could worry about it later. She just wanted to find Draco right now. She turned away from him and closed the distance to the open door as quickly as she could manage in her heels.

She turned back before entering the room and was relieved to find Lucius had left the hall, then she rushed into the room and spotted Draco instantly. He was sitting in a high-backed leather chair with his head in his hands.

"Draco?" Hermione said tentatively, as she walked into the wood-paneled study.

He jumped in his chair and looked up at her strangely, then he seemed to find himself and his expression went completely blank. "Hermione," he said without a hint of feeling.

"What happened, what did your father say?"

Draco was quiet and she continued to approach him slowly. The window behind him was open and she saw a tawny owl flying outside, then felt a cold breeze flowing into the room. She shuddered and pulled her arms around her, then remembered her wand and cast a quick warming charm on herself.

But when she finally got close enough to see Draco's eyes, the look she saw there, so similar to his father's, made her feel cold again, and it was the kind of cold that couldn't be cured with a warming charm.

"We need to go," he said, rising from the chair.

"Draco, what happened?"

He ignored her again and busied himself with the fireplace. After he'd started a small fire, he threw a handful of Floo-powder into the flames and motioned for Hermione to go first. She went to her flat, then waited a few moments for Draco to join her.

Just as she began to fear he wouldn't come, he walked through the flames and gathered her into his arms. His grip on her was tighter than normal and she could feel him taking deep, deliberate breaths.

"I'm sorry, Hermione," he whispered. "I really wanted tonight to go better."

She pushed back to look at him and saw his face go blank again. Then she realized what was going on. He was using Occlumency. Draco was desperately trying to hide something. She began to stroke his cheek, hoping to wipe the indifferent look away, but it stayed in place. "You can talk to me, Draco."

"I know, and I will. I just need tonight to gather my thoughts." He gave her a quick kiss on her cheek, then disapparated before she could say another word.

As soon as he left, a stream of warm tears started falling down Hermione's face. She sat down on the couch and wiped them away as she considered the events of the evening. She wanted to murder Lucius. What could he have possibly said to make Draco react like that?

As she thought through all the possibilities, the most likely scenario bubbled to the surface and caused her to cry harder as she thought through it. It wasn't a big mystery why Lucius hated her so much, and wouldn't it be just like him to threaten to cut Draco off completely if he kept dating her?

But Draco's reaction...was he reconsidering their relationship? Maybe being with Hermione wasn't worth losing his parents. And the way he'd left, so abruptly, barely managing to look her in the eye.

_I just need tonight to gather my thoughts._

She cried harder and Crookshanks came and sat on her lap, and she didn't even care when he started kneading his claws into her dress. She just hugged him close, trying to wipe away the memory of Draco's cold, indifferent gaze.

* * *

_Present Time: November 2005 / Draco's Time: November 2002_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

Draco woke up to warm hands on his face and someone saying his name. He was laying in an unfamiliar bed and tried to clear his foggy gaze and focus on the scene around him. He was in the bed he shared with Hermione in the future, and a slightly older Hermione was leaning over him as she sat on a chair next to the bed.

He popped up as panic flowed through him, though he couldn't determine the source of the feeling. He had an unbearable headache and pulled his hand to head as he tried to organize his thoughts.

"How are you feeling?" Hermione had leaned back to give him space and was looking at him with extreme concern.

"What's going on?"

"Tell me the last thing you remember," she said insistently.

Draco tried to rack his brain. He remembered Hermione (the one from his time) is that gorgeous black dress, then Floo-ing to the Manor, then Daphne being rude. Then...nothing. "The Halloween Ball," he said eventually, "But just the beginning of it. How long have I been here?"

He looked down at his casual clothes but didn't know if they were the ones he was wearing in his time or if he'd changed after arriving in the future. "Was I in dress robes when I arrived?"

She shook her head. "You were wearing that, and you've been here for a few hours." She was still looking at him with apprehension.

"Why don't I remember anything?"

She bit her lip, then moved her gaze past him to the window behind his head. "I think you've been obliviated, Draco."

"Obliviated? Why? By who?" He moved to get up from the bed, but she turned back to face him and held him down, then she moved her hand from his lap and linked her fingers into his.

She sighed and dropped her head and when she spoke again, she was looking down at their clasped hands. "You were talking about your father when you arrived, then you sort of passed out. That's all I know."

Draco picked up his free hand and used it to lift her chin so he could see her face. "You're lying," he said after a few moments. "You know something more about this."

Tears welled in her eyes and she shook her head, tightening her grip on his hand. It was so clear to him that she was holding something back. "All of this means something to you," he pressed, "doesn't it?"

She nodded then and leaned back out of his grasp. "I can't tell you anything about it, Draco. I'm so sorry."

Draco studied her but couldn't pick anything up from her expression, besides the fact that she was incredibly agitated. He thought back to what she'd said about his father. He knew his father hated Hermione and didn't want them to end up together. Had he done something about it? Had he threatened her?

"At least tell me if we're in danger. Or you- are you in danger, Hermione?"

She was silent for a long while and Draco thought she wouldn't answer him, then she said, "No one is threatening us." Something about her tone made him think she had chosen her words very carefully.

"But you know what this is all about. And you know who obliviated me."

She just shook her head and dropped his gaze again and he decided to stop pestering her for information since it was clearly upsetting her. He saw her take a few deep, calming breaths, then she looked back up at him. "You're okay now, Draco. Just try to relax. Can I get you anything? Something to eat or drink?"

He shook his head and shifted on the bed, indicating the spot next to him. "No, just sit here with me." She climbed into the bed with him, then laid her head on his shoulder. Draco tried to focus on her warmth as a distraction from the rising panic in his chest as the truth that he'd been obliviated settled in.

"I know you say everything is fine, but I'm scared, Hermione," he said eventually. It was the kind of thing he thought he could only admit to this Hermione, since there was still a good bit of distance between them. "I've never lost time before."

He felt her nod against him. "You've been lost _in_ time, but never had unaccounted for time…" her voice trailed off and she didn't say anything else, but she did snake her arms around his midsection and pull him close.

He focused on her breathing but couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. And for the first time since all the time jumping had started, he felt as if he'd gone completely astray, and all he wanted was to see his Hermione and hold her close. This one would do for now, he told himself, but he was still counting down the minutes to the end of the time jump.

* * *

_Present Time: November 2002 / Draco's Time: November 2005_

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

Hermione didn't see Draco all morning, even though he'd said he just needed the night to sort through his thoughts. After lunch, she was about to go find him at his flat when he knocked on the door. She knew immediately he was from the future and didn't even try to hide the disappointment on her face as she let him into her flat.

"Are you okay?" he asked once he was inside.

She explained what had happened last nights at the Halloween Ball and Draco shot up from his spot on the couch and began pacing the room. "That just happened? Last night, you said?"

Hermione nodded back at him, confused by his reaction.

Draco stopped in place and seemed to realize something. "Fuck," he muttered under his breath, then he turned to her and his eyes held a glint of anger. "You…"

"Me? What happened, Draco?" His eyes softened immediately, and she realized his anger wasn't directed at her.

"Nothing, not you. Never mind. I'm sorry about what happened with my father, and for leaving you so suddenly." He was rambling a bit and she could tell that his mind was elsewhere.

"Draco, tell me what's going on."

He turned back to her and rubbed his face, then let out a long sigh and went to sit on the couch. She joined him and pulled her legs up, then turned to face him.

"I really can't tell you anything, Hermione."

"What did your father say?" she asked, ignoring his previous statement.

He shook his head. "You'll have to ask your Draco."

"If he comes back," she responded bitterly. But she realized then that maybe he'd skipped coming over the day before because he was time jumping. Maybe he really did just need a little time to clear his thoughts, then he'd tell her everything.

"I'll come back, and it will be fine," the other Draco said. She studied his face and couldn't help but note how very not fine he appeared.

"If everything's going to be fine, then why do you look so sad, Draco?"

His expression turned sadder then, which she hadn't previously thought possible. Then he leaned his forehead against hers and sighed deeply. "It's just life, Hermione," he said in a low voice, "with its ups and downs."

Hermione began stroking his back with her nails in an effort to comfort him, but she could tell this small gesture wouldn't do much against whatever was going on in his time. She remembered her Draco then and wondered if he was finding out now about the cause of this man's sorrow. Would he hide it from her? Well, she'd asked him to keep knowledge of her future to himself, hadn't she?

She wondered if whatever was going on in the future was related to what Lucius had said or done at the Halloween Ball. "I hate your father."

Draco leaned back and regarded her, then nodded. "That's fair. For now," he added cryptically.

"So he's not as evil as he seems?"

"He's…complicated." Draco stopped talking then and it was clear to Hermione that he wasn't going to say more.

She stood up and walked to the kitchen, hoping to distract him from whatever was weighing on his mind. "You look like you could use some tea."

"Sure," he smiled back at her, but she could tell it was forced.

* * *

_Present Time: November 2002 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

When Draco Floo-ed into Hermione's flat the next day, she nearly dropped the mug she was holding when she saw him. She placed the tea on the table, then rushed to him and hugged him tightly.

"What happened? Are you okay? What did your father do? You can tell me now."

Draco's grip on her was almost as tight as hers and after a long hug, he pulled away from her so he could see her. "I can't."

"What?"

"I can't tell you what happened."

"Why not?"

He placed his hands on her arms and dropped his head with a sigh. "I don't remember."

"What?" This didn't make any sense.

"I was obliviated," he added then and Hermione cocked her head in confusion. "That last thing I remember was talking to my friends at the party. The Hermione from the future said when I showed up in her time, I was talking about my father, then passed out. I've had a raging headache since I woke up, but it's finally starting to get a little better."

Hermione guided them both to the couch, then studied him closely, wondering if he was lying. But he seemed sincere, and a little scared. Well that made sense, she'd be scared too if someone had obliviated her.

"Do you remember leaving the ball to go talk to your father?"

Draco shook his head.

"He said he needed to discuss something with you in private. You were gone for a long time so I went looking for you. You were upset, and you wouldn't tell me what he'd said. You just took me home and said you needed time to sort through your thoughts. And, well, I guess you time jumped because I saw your future self, two days later."

Draco nodded. "Did he tell you anything about all this?"

"No, but I'm sure he knew."

"The other Hermione knew too, but she didn't say anything either."

They were quiet for a while, then he started talking through his thoughts, out loud. "It has to be linked to my father somehow. Maybe, he did or said something that night, that he didn't want me to remember for some reason. But in the future, you told me no one was threatening us, so that's good. But whatever it was...he wanted me to forget so badly that he obliviated me."

"No, you weren't obliviated when I saw you. But you were using Occlumency. Like you really wanted to hide something from me."

"Fuck, I'm so sorry Hermione. It must have been serious." He stood up and started pacing the room, looking almost exactly like his future self had the day before. "So, he came by my flat later and did it? Then I time jumped and appeared with the future Hermione?"

"Something doesn't fit," Hermione said as she watched him walk around the room. "Why would he stop by after? If he wanted to say or do something, then have you forget it, he could have done it at the party. Unless…" she trailed off. Then as something clicked in her mind, she jumped up from the couch and rushed into the kitchen.

"What?" Draco said from behind her as she started looking through the cabinet where she kept her potions.

She ignored him, scanning the bottles quickly and trying to calculate in her mind how long it had been since the Halloween party. "Just under two days," she muttered, "so there should still be time." She let out a sigh of relief when she finally found the small green bottle she was looking for. She ripped the stopper out and almost threw the potion at Draco.

"Here, take this."

He hesitated, which she knew was fair. Every witch and wizard was conditioned to never accept an unknown potion, but she didn't know how much time they had and didn't want to lose another minute trying to explain. "Please, trust me and take this!"

Draco nodded and downed the potion, then winced and she conjured a glass of water and handed it to him.

"What was that?"

"Neutralizing potion. It should counteract anything currently in your system, including extraction potions," she added knowingly.

"Extraction potion, what do you-" he cut off, and she saw then that he'd just figured out what she suspected. "You think he forced me to take the extraction potion? To stop the time jumping?"

She shrugged and began walking back to the sitting room. "Why else would he need you to forget? And maybe that was why he came by later. Perhaps you talked about the future, and when he learned you weren't planning to reverse the time jumping, he took matters into his own hands. But- I don't know him as well as you, would he do that?"

Hermione sat back on the couch and Draco took the spot next to her, then pulled her into his arms. "I don't know. It fits, and he clearly doesn't want my future to play out, but I never thought he'd force me into anything I didn't want to do."

They were both silent for a while, then Draco eventually asked, "Will it work? The neutralizing potion?"

She nodded. "It should. Extraction potions take about three days to work. And I'm going to take the fact that I'm still sitting here in your arms as a good sign that nothing critical to our timeline has been altered." She felt him tighten his grip on her then.

"Draco," she started, then stopped, suddenly losing her nerve.

"What is it, Hermione?"

"I was certain your father had threatened to cut you off, and that you were reconsidering us."

Draco shifted their positions so he was facing her. "I know that's a possibility, but I don't care."

"You're allowed to care, Draco. It's your family. And besides that, the status, the vaults, it's quite a lot to give up."

"I'd give it all up," he said quickly, and her heart felt light in her chest. He was telling the truth; she was sure of it. But would he later come to regret it? She wondered this as she remembered the unbelievably sad look on his face when he'd come from the future.

"Something else is wrong," he said then and she smiled to herself. Hiding things from him was impossible.

Hermione looked down at her lap. "When I saw you yesterday, from the future, you were incredibly sad."

He pulled her back into his chest and began rubbing her back.

"I know everyone has hardships in their life, but to see them coming…" her voice trailed off and she felt him sigh heavily.

"I know how you feel, Hermione. I'm not sure what to say. I'm not sure what I can say, except that I've seen sadness in our future, but also incredible happiness."

_It's just life, Hermione, with its ups and downs._

They sat like that a long while and she listened to his heart beat steadily in his chest. Eventually, she pulled back and said in a soft voice, "You can still change your mind. Whatever hard times are ahead of us, we can avoid them now."

"Is that what you want, Hermione?"

"I want to know what you want."

He considered his response for several moments and when he finally started talking his voice was unsteady. "You say I can still change my mind, but you're wrong. Maybe a few months ago, I could have barely managed it, but now…impossible." He stared back at her with a look of such raw emotion that Hermione felt as if her heart had stopped beating.

"I love you, Hermione. And I know I can't promise you a perfect future, but I can give you myself - all of me- and hope that's enough. I'll be with you as long as you'll let me."

Hermione was speechless, so she just buried herself back into his chest and tried to sort through the intense fear that had gripped her in response to the rush of emotions incited by his words. She'd never felt this way about anyone, and a part of her thought maybe it would be best for both of them if he took that extraction potion after all. Because losing Draco, she was coming to find out, would hurt her more than anything else she could imagine.

"I love you too," she whispered, and she felt him release a long breath and wondered how long he'd been holding it. She pushed back on her heels and began tracing his jaw with her fingers. "I love you quite a lot, and it's scary, honestly, because it came on so quickly, and I'm not sure where it's all going to go."

He nodded understandingly and she leaned forward and gave him a soft kiss. After a few moments, he pushed her away gently and sighed, then stood up from the couch and helped her get back to her feet. "Leaving right now is the absolute last thing I want to do, but I should go," he said, looking over at the clock. "It's getting late and we both have work in the morning."

"If you don't want to leave, then you don't have to."

"What?"

"Sleep here, I mean."

He looked back at her, confused. "And by sleep, you mean...sleep?" his eyes were twinkling with amusement and she rolled hers in return.

"Actually no," she said, trying to keep from blushing.

"Really?" he looked genuinely surprised and she let out a small laugh.

"I'm ready for that step, I mean, if you are. I guess I shouldn't assume…" she trailed off awkwardly and dropped his gaze, suddenly feeling very embarrassed.

He placed a finger under her chin and lifted her head so he could see her. "I was ready even before we started dating." His grin was wicked, and she felt her heart start to pound hard in her chest.

He grabbed her hand and began to pull her toward her bedroom, "Come on, before you change your mind on me."

She huffed in mock frustration, but still let him pull her into the room. When they got there, she shooed Crookshanks off the bed and didn't even take a second to feel bad for disturbing his nap, her attention was completely focused on the incredible wizard in front of her. As soon as she closed the door, Draco pulled her in for a deep kiss and she let herself get lost in the feeling of him.

There may be hardships in their future, but it wasn't going to stop her from enjoying the blissful present she was currently living in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And the plot thickens. What the heck is going on? Any theories?
> 
> Continued thanks to my beta reader Lancashire Witch for supporting this complicated story. You can follow me over on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson to see aesthetics and a few behind the scenes drabbles for each chapter. Thanks so much for reading, please let me know what you think.
> 
> This was a bonus update because I'm getting a little ahead in writing and it's a holiday weekend (in the US) and I was feeling a little down and thought, why not? I'll still post another chapter tomorrow on Mon, Nov-30.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

_Anything and everything,_

_the two almost the same -_

_everything says: have it all;_

_anything: one to claim._

_If I say I'd give you everything,_

_we know it can never be,_

_but I will give you anything -_

_I just hope that thing is me._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: December 2002_

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

Hermione pulled Draco's letter out from under her pillow and read it for what must have been the fiftieth time since she'd received it on Christmas several days earlier.

_Hermione,_

_I was warring between two clich_ _é_ _s as I considered what to get you for Christmas this year. The first option was a book - but how predictable would that be, getting Hermione Granger a book? I know you'd enjoy it, but it wouldn't be appropriate for an occasion as significant as our first Christmas as a couple._

_My other option was jewelry, but that was equally trite and undesirable. It would have been more boyfriend-like than a book, but you deserve better. So, as these options rolled around in my mind, I got the brilliant idea to merge them together._

_What you'll find with this letter is a pair of earrings, which seem ordinary at first, but upon closer inspection I'm sure you'll realize they are laced with magic. I spelled them to recite books to the wearer. Once you have them on and speak the incantation, you should hear the words clearly in your mind, but no one else will be able to hear. I got the idea from those Muggle headphone things you were explaining to me recently._

_I've included details behind the spell work on the next page. I couldn't figure out how to link them to more than one book at a time, but I'm sure you'll solve that dilemma quickly. For now, they are tied to a lovely book of poetry I thought you would enjoy._

_I'm a bit disappointed I won't get to see your reaction, since I think it was a pretty clever gift. I hope your trip is going better than you were expecting. Either way, I'll be here for you when you return. Please, send your Patronus the second you're back in London._

_Happy Christmas. I love you with all my heart and miss you terribly._

_-Draco_

Hermione touched the delicate gold earrings she was currently wearing (which were gorgeous and the exact opposite of "ordinary," as Draco had called them), but resisted the urge to start playing them. One unexpected surprise was that the words came into her mind in Draco's voice.

She didn't think, based on his notes, that this was planned, but she was grateful nonetheless. And she hadn't altered the spell in any way, as he'd suggested, since she was worried she'd somehow change the voice to her own.

Hermione doubted she would have made it through the trip without getting to listen to Draco reading her poetry every night. She took a deep breath, then carefully placed his letter back under her pillow before joining her parents downstairs for dinner.

She'd been putting this conversation off, but this was her last night and it was finally time to tell them that she was dating Draco. The problem was, she told her parents everything, and they would know immediately who Draco Malfoy was and everything he'd done.

It took her until the end of the meal, as they were eating their pudding, for her to finally work up the courage to say, "Mum, Dad, I've been meaning to tell you that I have a new boyfriend."

"Oh, that's lovely, Dear," her mother said in a vague sort of way. Before the war, her mother was incredibly invested in Hermione's life. She knew every little detail about her classes, tiffs with schoolmates, and every crush, including Ron. But now, she was more distant. Hermione wondered if she'd even be able to recite her job title correctly.

"Right, well, it's rather serious, actually," Hermione continued.

"Is it?" Her mother seemed more interested then and focused her gaze on Hermione. "How long have you been dating?"

"Just about six months. But we were friends for over a year before we got together."

"Is he a wizard?" her father asked.

She sighed. "Yes, Dad, he's a wizard."

"Do we know him?"

Hermione winced. She could end the conversation here, but she knew where things were headed with Draco, and she wouldn't be able to hide it from her parents indefinitely. She thought it was best to just get right to it. "You haven't met him personally, but yes, you know his name. It's Draco Malfoy."

Her mother dropped her spoon and her father stared back at her with his mouth hung open.

"That must be a common name in your world, because there is no way you are dating the same boy who tormented you all through school," her mother responded in a harsh voice.

Hermione dropped her head. "It's not a common name. It is the same person I've told you about."

"The one who hated you because you were raised by us- non-magical people? The one whose father lured you to the Ministry, where you were nearly killed? The boy who joined up with that terrible dark wizard? The one who stood by while you were tortured in his house and did nothing?" Her mother's voice got colder with every subsequent question.

Hermione felt tears sting her eyes and kept her gaze on the table. She'd admitted everything to her parents after she restored their memories. And trust her mother to remember every detail.

"Tell us, Hermione. Is it that same boy?" her mother's eyes were alight with anger now, but her voice was low and even, like it got when she was very disappointed. Hermione had always hated this tone much more than yelling when she was a girl.

"Yes, Mum, it's the same person, but he is so much different than the lost and confused boy he was back then."

"Lost and confused?" This question was from her father. "You're telling me he watched you getting tortured for no good reason and did nothing. And you're letting him off because he was confused?"

Hermione took a deep breath. "He was scared and in an impossible position. But- I've forgiven him, and you don't need to understand it all. Just, accept that I love him and he makes me happy and-"

"You're asking us to accept too much, Hermione," her mother interrupted her. "First, the memories. Maybe, I could have forgiven you for that. But then you told us of the countless times you were almost killed and admitted that you kept it all from us, so we'd keep sending you back to that dangerous school. And now this? I refuse to accept it!"

"I know you don't understand," Hermione was pleading now, "but I'm not asking you to. Just accept _me_! Accept that I'm magical, and accept that the war is done, and accept that I'm happy now and I have a wonderful boyfriend who has completely reformed from his terrible upbringing. "

Both of her parents were quiet, then after a long, awkward silence, her mother asked, "What has happened to you, Hermione?"

"What do you mean?"

"I've been thinking about this for awhile, but I suspect all that magic has damaged your brain a bit. Because I know you are not the same daughter we raised." Hermione was at a complete loss of what to say to that.

"Jean," her father said in a warning tone, but her mother ignored him and continued. "The woman we raised would never coerce her parents into fleeing the country, then erase their memories. She would never then go on to condone the actions of the awful people who drove her to that step by dating one of them. It's sick; you must see that, Hermione."

Hermione rose to her feet and began walking back up to her room, feeling completely spent. Her mother followed her into the hall.

"This Draco Malfoy wanted you dead. He fought for a madman that was trying to kill you, and us. And now you're dating him? That world has twisted your morals, Hermione. It's corrupted you."

Hermione slammed the door to her room, then cast a locking and silencing charm on it before falling back into the bed. She wondered absently why she wasn't crying. But she just felt numb and assumed the tears would come later; once she got over the shock of it all.

* * *

Sure enough, an hour later, she was reduced to a puddle of tears on the bed. She activated the magic in her earrings and focused on Draco's voice reading the poetry of Walt Whitman. That was where her father found her when he finally managed to break into her room later that night.

She lifted her head from the pillow and saw he'd removed the hinges on the door when he had been unable to reverse the locking charm. She just laid back down and focused on Draco's voice.

" _Answer. That you are here- that life exists, and identity; That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse."_

Hermione's father had pulled up a chair and began rubbing her back. She grabbed her wand and tapped them to her earrings to get them to stop playing, trying to ignore how her father had flinched when she'd lifted her wand.

They remained in silence while the last of Hermione's tears streamed slowly down her cheek and onto the pillow as her father continued to rub her back. Finally, she asked, "Dad, do you think I'm corrupt, too? That my magic has made me mad?"

He cleared his throat before saying, "I wish you would place your love with a more deserving man, Hermione."

"You didn't answer my question."

He sighed heavily. "Of course I don't think you're mad, Hermione, and neither does your mother. She just needs some time to get used to this. It's hard for her, being so far on the outskirts of your life."

Hermione lifted herself to a sitting position. "It's hard for me, too."

Her father nodded. "This bloke, he's truly reformed?"

"I wouldn't be with him otherwise."

She wanted to tell him how wonderful Draco was for her. How he pushed her to be better. How after feeling slightly separate from everyone in the Wizarding world, she was finally coming to feel like she truly belonged.

She wanted to tell him how, out of all the books Draco could have picked to link to the earrings, he'd chosen her father's favorite book of poetry. She wanted to explain that she wasn't sure if soulmates existed, but that if they did, she was certain that term described her and Draco because she connected with him so easily and intuitively. But she didn't know where to start.

Before Hermione found her voice, her father asked, "Why don't you move here? Get a new start? I'm sure there's a magical world hiding about in Australia and they'd be lucky to have you. You could put all of this war business behind you."

Hermione shook her head and was surprised when more tears came into her eyes. She'd thought she was completely out. Her father didn't understand. He never would, and neither would her mother. And that's why there would always be this distance between them.

She remembered a conversation she'd had with Draco two years ago, when she'd shared her favorite quote from _1984_. _Perhaps one did not want to be loved, so much as to be understood._

He'd asked her, " _What about the people who love you, Hermione? Do they understand you?"_

She'd lied at the time and said yes. When really, everyone in her life, from Ron to her parents, didn't understand her. And now she had Draco, and they both understood each other on a deep level. But she was realizing that most of the people in her life, her parents especially, would never accept her relationship with him. And he was suffering from the same thing with Lucius, was he not?

"Hermione?" her father's voice cut into her thoughts and she realized he was expecting an answer from her.

"England is my home, Dad. All my friends are there. My job, and now Draco."

"I know, but just consider it, okay?"

Hermione shook her head and looked down at her lap. "I'm so sorry I've been such a disappointment, Dad."

"Oh, my little storm. You could never be a disappointment."

Hermione nodded, willing herself to believe his words, but they felt hollow and all she could think about was how badly she wanted to go back home.

"I love you, Dad," she said then, and he gave her a sad smile and said he loved her back before finally leaving her alone in the room.

* * *

_Present Time: December 2002 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

Draco looked over at the clock for what was probably the hundredth time, then sighed and turned back to the book he was reading. Hermione said she'd be back today around mid-morning - whatever that meant. It was 10:14am right now, and in Draco's opinion, that was well past mid-morning and she was late.

_She's only been gone for two weeks - get a fucking grip._

But it had been a very long two weeks. In past years, he'd moved back into Malfoy Manor for the week of Christmas, but that conflicted with his plan to avoid his father at all costs, so he'd spent the time alone in his flat.

But he hadn't been able to avoid Christmas dinner with his parents. He expected his father to try to pull him aside again, but all he did was stare at Draco like he was about to explode or something, and Draco had no idea what that meant.

The more he thought back on the events of Halloween, the less sense it all made. Hermione's theory that his father had given him a dose of extraction potion was logical, but it didn't explain why Draco was so upset after their conversation at the ball.

It's not like his father would have admitted to his plan ahead of time. And Draco also didn't think it was due to a threat of losing his inheritance, as Hermione had feared. He was certain he wouldn't have hidden that from her. He hoped he was better than that, but maybe when faced with the actual possibility he'd caved?

 _No - I_ am _better than that, and I would give it all up for her in a heartbeat._

But he also really didn't think that was something his father would threaten. Who else would his father give the estate to? He loved Draco, despite everything, and he despised their French relatives. None of the events of that night made sense, but Draco was left to puzzle through it alone, because Hermione refused to discuss it.

Ever since the night when they'd admitted they loved each other and slept together for the first time, she was more determined than ever to avoid thinking about their future. She insisted they enjoy the present and not waste the good times they had together worrying about an eventuality they couldn't change.

She said there were plenty of problems she _could c_ hange and preferred to spend her energy on those. But Draco couldn't drop the subject so easily. Though occasionally, when he ignored the dark cloud that seemed to be looming in their future, he reveled in what was by far the happiest time of his entire life.

Draco and Hermione couldn't get enough of each other. He stayed at her flat every night and the only time they were apart was when they went to work. That was another reason the two weeks apart had been so hard. It was such an abrupt change from spending every waking moment together.

Just then, Hermione's Patronus appeared in the middle of the room. "I'm back," was all the otter said before bounding out of sight. Draco rushed to the closet and grabbed his cloak, then paused. Should he wait a few minutes? He didn't want to appear too desperate.

He shook his head and started pulling his cloak on. He was past playing games with Hermione. He turned on his heel to apparate, then realized he didn't have his wand when he didn't go anywhere. He shook his head and picked it up from the table, then took a deep breath and tried again and appeared a few seconds later in her sitting room.

He heard Hermione in the bedroom and rushed to meet her, not even taking the time to remove his cloak or shoes - which he figured she'd scold him for later. She gave him a huge smile when she saw him and ran into his arms and he barely registered that she was wearing the earrings he got her before he was lost in a sea of curly hair.

She had thrown her arms tightly (almost painfully) around his neck and was burrowed into the spot between his shoulder and his neck. "I missed you so much," she was saying, and he nodded, savoring the familiar feel of her in his arms.

He was about to respond when he felt her begin to sob against him. His heart dropped.

"What happened? What is it?"

She kept a tight grip on him and he held her close. He was reminded, alarmingly, of the last time he'd held a crying Hermione in his arms. It was during a time jump to the future when she'd collapsed in the hall and he'd been sure someone had died. He tried his best to banish the memory from his mind.

He maneuvered them to the couch and took a second to remove his cloak before settling into a sitting position, then pulling her onto his lap. She was calming down now and he looked at her, but couldn't read the emotions on her face.

"So it was bad," he said unnecessarily.

She nodded, then took a deep breath. "It's fine, I'm back. And I have you," she gave him a small smile and he could see her draw into herself a bit. Then he realized she didn't intend to say more about it.

"Tell me," he pressed.

She shook her head and took another deep breath. "I'm sorry for crying. It wasn't a very good trip, but I'm going to be fine." Then she stood up and went into the kitchen and started making tea.

Draco followed her and sat at the counter while he watched her boil water with her wand. He knew she had planned to tell her parents about him on the trip and figured that was what had gone so bad. He didn't really blame her parents for being upset. Was that why she didn't want to tell him about it?

As he considered this, he realized she'd never told him any details about her parents. He didn't even know their jobs. The most he knew was what she'd admitted during their Honeymoon. And before her trip she'd said offhandedly that their relationship was tense.

"Hermione." She was staring blankly into the boiling water and it was clear her mind was somewhere else. "Hermione," he repeated.

She finally looked up at him and gave him a fake smile.

"I need to tell you something about my past, but it violates rule one a bit."

She cocked her head, then walked to the counter and leaned toward him. "Oh, um, okay. I trust you not to reveal too much."

He nodded and took her hand from across the counter. Then he started talking quickly, before he lost his nerve. "I told you once everything that went on in the war. And at the time, well, it was the first time I'd ever talked through it all. And you were- well, I shouldn't say much about you. Anyway, it was hard, but I felt loads better afterward."

When he stopped, she was looking back at him confused, then she nodded when she finally seemed to catch his meaning. "And that was when I told you about my five worst moments from the war?"

He nodded, then he saw her start to protest, so he continued talking.

"And the time I went to see Potter. I know you and Ginerva think I did something special, but really, I just told him to confide in her. I urged him to tell her every shitty thing that had happened to him, and he actually listened. And look at them now."

Hermione leaned away from the counter and pulled her arms around herself and Draco stood to join her, wrapping his arms around hers. "You haven't told anyone about your parents, have you?"

She shrugged under his grip. "Everyone knows I obliviated them. And they know our relationship suffered as a result."

"But more than that. Have you told anyone else the details behind it?"

She shook her head.

"Tell me."

She shook her head again. Draco leaned back so he could see her face. "Why not?"

"There's no point in dwelling on it, Draco, it's done. And it's just going to make you feel bad."

Draco pushed back and held her firmly by the arms. He waited for her to look up at him before talking. "It doesn't matter how I feel. You need to get this off your chest, and if you're not going to tell me, then who are you going to tell?"

She stayed still and he took it as a good sign when she didn't immediately refuse. He went to her bedroom and started moving her clothes and suitcase off the bed. Then he tried a few times to cast a spell to turn the ceiling into the night sky.

"What are you doing?" Hermione was leaning against the doorframe and watching him curiously.

He finally managed to get the spell right, then she gasped when she saw what he'd done. "This is beautiful, where did you learn that spell?"

"My mother, she loves stars, as you probably could have guessed. Anyway, lie down," he pointed toward the bed and she looked back at him confused, but slowly climbed into bed and positioned herself so she was looking up at the stars.

Draco joined her on the other side of the bed. He grabbed her hand and linked his fingers with hers, then focused up at the stars. "Okay, go on."

She was quiet for a long time, then said, "I haven't agreed to tell you anything yet."

"I know, but we can lay here as long as you need until you're ready."

After another long silence, she finally began to speak. She started at the beginning of her childhood and explained how close she'd been with her parents, then their initial reaction to the news of her being a witch.

She talked through school and their various holidays, then explained her decision to obliviate them. He turned to look at her and there were silent tears streaming down her face, but she was still focused up at the night sky, so he looked back up too.

Then she explained how strained they'd been the summer after the war. How she'd finally told them everything she'd been keeping from them. From how she'd been petrified in second year, to how she'd nearly died at the Ministry in fifth year, to how she'd been tortured by Bellatrix.

Draco employed Occlumency to keep from reacting too strongly to anything she said, since this was about her, not him. She explained how upset her parents were that she'd kept all that from them, then said how since then they looked at her like they didn't know her. And how they flinched any time she used magic around them.

Then she finally got to the last trip and what her mother had said when she told her parents about Draco. When she was finished talking, she turned her head to look at him and whispered, "I'm sorry."

Draco turned to face her and pulled her into his arms. "You have no reason to apologize, Hermione. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that alone. Next time you see them, I'm going with you."

She shook her head. "I'm not sure that will be any better for them."

"It's not for them, it's for you. They are right about me. I was awful, and I don't deserve you. But you shouldn't have to defend me and bear the brunt of their anger. I should be there to do that myself, and I will be."

"Okay." She was quiet then and he could tell she was crying again and just tightened his grip on her and let her cry. After a long while, when she had finally stopped sobbing, he took a deep breath and asked, "Do you feel any better?"

"Not really. I feel completely wrecked."

"Yeah, that will go away. Then you should feel lighter."

She nodded, then sat up on the bed and he saw she was looking at him concerned. "How do you feel?"

"I'm fine, Hermione, just very happy to have you back." He sat up to join her, then kissed her softly, but soon their kisses turned desperate and she was pulling his shirt off.

"Are you sure, Hermione? We don't have to-"

"I'm sure," she cut him off quickly and rushed to remove her own shirt before continuing to kiss him.

As they made love, Draco tried to convey everything he couldn't put proper words to. How completely he loved her. How his happiness was entirely dependent on hers now. How perfect she was to him. And how simultaneously terrifying and wonderful it felt to be with her.

* * *

Later, when she was laying in his arms, he asked, "Are you absolutely certain you don't want me to reverse the time jumping, Hermione? Everything that just happened with your parents never would have-"

"Draco," she cut him off and turned in his arms so she was looking at him. "Promise me something."

"Anything," he responded quickly, and he truly meant it. He would give this witch anything she wanted.

"Never ask me that again."

Draco sighed, then nodded.

"I know I wouldn't really know what I was missing," she continued, "but my heart would ache for you, I'm sure of it."

Draco moved a stray curl behind her ear and nodded again, at a loss for words. Hearing his own feelings so clearly articulated by her made him feel closer to her, which he hadn't previously thought possible.

She laid her head back on his chest, then asked, "Is it hard for you to be with me?"

"What?"

"I mean, if you were with some pureblood, you wouldn't have a constant reminder of the things you regret from your past. But with me, having to hear about this thing with my parents, and the struggles with my friends. You can't really escape it, can you?"

He started running his fingers through her long hair and considered her words before responding. "You're right, it is harder with you. But- well, I told you I was done with easy. You're right for me, and having to face what I did regularly - it's a small price to pay for all I've done, and you're more than worth it. I've told you before, I'll be here as long as you want me."

"I want you here forever," she whispered softly as if she was worried someone else would overhear.

"Forever is a long time."

"Not as long as the last two weeks," she quipped.

He laughed, then pulled her closer to him, "Yes, I'll give you that one."

* * *

**Harry Potter**

Ginny was pouring through wedding magazines and Harry smiled and watched her for a few minutes. He could not believe his luck at getting to marry this incredible witch in just a few short months. She noticed him then and smiled when she saw him in the doorway.

"You're going to need to clean this all up before tonight. But I'm not sure where it will fit," Harry joked. "I don't believe I've ever seen this many magazines in my entire life."

"Hah, hah," Ginny said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "I just want our wedding to be absolutely perfect."

"As long as you're there, it will be."

"That was very sappy, but I still liked it." She smiled back at Harry, then pulled her wand out of her pocket and started stacking the magazines into piles. "Do we have everything we need for tonight?"

Harry shrugged. "We have loads of food, butterbeer, Fire Whiskey, and wine. And George is bringing games and fireworks, so we should have everything needed to celebrate the new year."

Ginny nodded, then levitated the piles she'd made into the hall closet. "And what about Hermione and Malfoy? Are they coming?"

Harry sighed. "Yes, but that reminds me, I need to talk to him about Andromeda. I'm not sure if he has any ill will toward her."

"Why would he? He's obviously gotten over those stupid, pureblood supremacy beliefs."

"Yes, but I should warn him, just in case. I'll pop over there real quick." He gave Ginny a peck on the cheek, then went outside and apparated into the hall outside Hermione's flat. He'd learned his lesson about Floo-ing straight in and now he was always sure to knock since he didn't want to have to catch her snogging Malfoy, again.

Hermione answered the door and after a quick inspection he saw that Malfoy wasn't there. That was odd, Malfoy was always here.

"How are you? Getting ready for tonight?"

Harry nodded. "I actually came to speak to Malfoy."

"He's picking up food and should be back any moment."

Harry nodded and took a seat at the counter. "How was your trip?"

Hermione's face fell. "Hard."

Harry placed a comforting hand on her arm, and she gave him a small smile. They sat silent for a while and Harry wished he could give her more comfort, but Hermione never talked about her parents and he knew better than to ask for details.

When he looked at her, he saw she was biting her lip, and he thought maybe she was working up the courage to say something. He waited patiently, wondering if she'd finally confide in him.

"Harry, uh, I know you've been urging me to talk to someone about everything that went on with my Mum and Dad for years now," she paused, and Harry nodded at her encouragingly. "Well, I did. I told Draco and - it was good, I think."

"Oh, good," Harry tried to hide the disappointment in his voice. He thought she'd been about to tell _him_ something. But it was fine, he reminded himself. At least she had someone.

"I just wanted you to know."

"I'm glad for you, Hermione, truly. I'm happy you have someone you love and can confide in like that."

She smiled and hugged him. "Yes, now we just need to get Ron on board."

"Well, Malfoy apologized while you were gone. I'm sure he told you. So that's step one."

"He said it didn't go well."

"I believe I said it went about as well as Hagrid's attempt to tame those blast-ended skrewts," Malfoy had come into the kitchen then and placed a bag of food on the counter.

Hermione and Harry both narrowed their eyes at him. "And I told you, that Hagrid is a friend and I would not tolerate any attacks on him," Hermione scolded.

"Come on, you liked those awful beasts?"

"Yes," both Harry and Hermione spoke at once, then they looked at each other and shared a small smile.

"Whatever," Malfoy muttered under his breath. "Anyway, you were talking about Weasley?"

"Don't worry about Ron," Hermione said, "he just needs time.

Malfoy shrugged and Harry doubted by his expression that he'd been worrying himself about Ron. "I'll talk to him tonight too," Harry added. "Remind him that you aren't going anywhere. You're not, right?"

"I'm not planning any big trips," Malfoy said sardonically. "You know I have to register those with you, anyway."

Harry rolled his eyes. How could Hermione stand this sarcastic git? "I came to talk about the party tonight. Andromeda will be there."

"Andromeda...my aunt?"

"And her grandson."

"Teddy, with the blue hair. I've met him." Malfoy was smiling then, like - a real smile - the kind he only gave Hermione. Harry found it very off putting. He had clearly met Teddy during one of his time jumps and Harry didn't really know how he felt about it.

"Oh...right. So, you're okay with seeing them?"

Malfoy nodded, then Harry stood to leave now that his chore was done. "Okay, well I'll leave you two to your lunch then. See you in a few hours."

Malfoy gave him a curt nod, then he added a bit awkwardly, "Thank you for the warning, Potter." The words seemed forced and Malfoy looked extremely uncomfortable. And Harry figured it must be hard to go from being completely cruel to almost polite. It was an odd transformation to watch, and anytime he witnessed it, like now, he tried his best not to acknowledge it - figuring that would just make it harder for Malfoy.

"No problem, Malfoy. See you later."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, so I bet some of you are thinking that her mother is being overly harsh, but I'm going to take her side for a second. Hermione almost died a lot in the seven books and I'm making the assumption here she never told her parents. THEN she ran off to fight this war at 17 and removed their memories of her! That is kind of crazy.
> 
> And now she has this news about Draco, who they've heard terrible things about for years. So I'm going to say this reaction is a bit justified. All parents just want their kids to be safe, and to them, Hermione seems to be making one crazy, unsafe decision after the other. That would make any parent go a little nuts, especially someone like her mom, who I'm claiming has some control issues. So I don't agree with her mother and still think Hermione did the right thing, but I get her reaction and no one is perfect.
> 
> Anyway, that's what was going on in my head when it came to her parents. The book Draco linked to the earrings was Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman.
> 
> Also, I like how Draco is nice to Hermione, but still snarky to everyone else. We know in the future he drops that a bit, but it's going to take some time. And I love how polite Harry is about the whole thing.
> 
> Many thanks to my beta reader Lancashire Witch for supporting this complicated story. You can follow me over on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson to see aesthetics and a few behind the scenes drabbles for each chapter. Thanks so much for reading, please let me know what you think.
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Thurs, Dec-3.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if you all got double notifications for this chapter. I accidentally deleted this then had to re-post. Sorry to get your hopes up about a bonus chapter. Just one chapter today! Next update in two days...

**Chapter 22**

_You think falling in love is about holding on, but it isn't. It is about hands gripping the edge of the world and letting go, one finger at a time._

_Take a deep breath - here comes the drop. I know it's your first time here, but soon you will get used to the motion; the headlong dive into the deep. Just go with it. You only get one chance to fall in love with your heart still whole._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: December 2002 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

They were just over an hour into Potter's New Year's party and Hermione had already broken the promise she'd made earlier to never leave Draco's side. He was stuck in a very confusing conversation with Lovegood and her creature-obsessed boyfriend and was trying to catch Hermione's attention, but her back was to him.

And going to fetch her wasn't really an option because she was currently talking to Weasley and his girlfriend - the Gryffindor Patil. Draco surreptitiously checked his watch and sighed when he saw the time. Three more hours until midnight; he didn't think he'd make it.

Draco excused himself to the toilet and once he reached the dark hall, he leaned against the wall and sighed. This sucked. No one was overtly hostile toward him, but it was clear they didn't want him here. He figured that was fair, since he didn't want to be here either, but he knew it was important to Hermione, so here he was.

He went to the bathroom and splashed some water on his face, then on his way back he heard a voice coming from behind a dingy door that was ajar. He paused outside the door and listened for a few moments, trying to place the voice. It was a kid, then he realized it must be his cousin, Teddy.

He'd seen him briefly, when he'd first arrived with his aunt who looked like a kind version of Bellatrix, which was off putting. Draco had lost sight of his cousin soon after that and forgotten about him. Draco opened the door wider and peered inside, then saw the blue-haired boy crouched in a small cupboard that was mostly occupied by a boiler with pipes running along the ceiling. The boy was playing with some figurines but stopped as soon as he saw Draco.

"Hi," he said simply, then went back to his toys.

Draco nodded at the boy, then looked back toward the main room where the rest of the adults were. He was about to close the door again when the boy said, "You can come play, if you want to."

"Oh, uh, I should probably…" Draco pointed back toward where he'd come from.

"Okay," the boy sounded disappointed and Draco remembered all the times he'd been in this same position as a child, forced to play alone and stay out of sight while the adults enjoyed each other's company. He looked down the hall one last time, then let himself into the cupboard and sat on the ground next to his cousin.

"What are you playing?" Draco linked his arms around his legs and used his wand to further brighten the small closet.

Teddy explained some elaborate game with a prince who was fighting against a host of bad knights to rescue a princess. Draco tried to contribute to the story line, but was quickly scolded for doing it wrong, so he remained silent instead. But after a few minutes, he was scolded again for not talking enough.

Draco was regretting his decision to come in here and was trying to think of a nice way to let Teddy down. He remembered that playing with him at Easter was much more enjoyable and figured he'd need to give the kid a few years to grow up. They'd played with those dragon figurines Draco had adored as a child.

"What about a dragon?" Draco asked then.

"What?"

"What if the prince has to fight a big, scary dragon?"

"Oh, I dunno. I don't know much about them."

"What?" He'd been obsessed with the creatures when Draco had met him. It had reminded Draco so vividly of his own childhood. He'd thought for several years he would grow up to be a dragon tamer in Romania and had nearly memorized the reference book he had on the creatures. He thought he might still have that book at his flat.

"Hey, wait here," Draco said as he rose to his feet, careful not to knock his head on the pipes.

"Oh, okay," Teddy's face fell and Draco rushed to reassure him.

"I'm coming back, I just want to get something for you."

"Like a present?"

"Oh, sure," Draco wasn't planning to give the boy the book, just show it to him, but he didn't see the harm in it. It was just collecting dust on his shelf. "Give me five minutes."

He crept out of the hall and went outside, then apparated to his flat and was back in a few moments with the book in hand. He settled back into the cramped room, then opened the book and started showing Teddy the elaborate illustrations of dragons.

"Whoa, look at his wings!"

"Yeah, did you know that parts of the dragon's wings are thinner than a piece of parchment?"

"No way."

"Yeah, says so right here."

"What else does it say?" Teddy scooted closer to Draco and leaned against his side and Draco tensed initially, then relaxed. His cousin was looking at him like he was incredibly interesting and Draco decided that he liked it. It was certainly an improvement on how everyone else at the party had looked at him.

He continued to show him the book and lost complete track of the time. An hour later, his aunt popped her head into the cupboard and was surprised to find that Teddy wasn't alone. "Oh, uh, Draco, you've been in here with him the whole time?"

Before Draco could respond, she raised her voice and called down the hall, "Draco didn't leave, he's been in here with Teddy."

Oh, had Hermione thought he left? She must have been livid. She appeared then and looked a little annoyed, then her eyes softened when she saw him.

"Look at this book Draco gave me! And he told me his name means 'dragon' in Lafin," Teddy returned to the hall and shoved the book eagerly at Andromeda.

"Latin," Draco corrected as he climbed out of the cramped cupboard to join the others in the hall.

"And he said Uncle Harry fought a dragon! One of the scariest kinds in this book, with a spiked tail. Is that true Uncle Harry!? Why didn't you tell me before?"

Potter had appeared in the hall and seemed surprised by the onslaught of questions.

"Oh, I don't know." Potter looked at Draco curiously, then smiled widely back at Teddy. "What's that you got there?"

Teddy turned to Potter and showed him the page on the Hungarian Horntail. "My cousin Draco gave me this book. Is this the dragon you fought?"

Andromeda bent over to examine the book, then when she straightened, she said to Draco in a low voice, "This is much too fine for a five-year-old."

Draco shrugged, "Really, it's okay. I'm not using it."

"I don't know…" her voice trailed off and Teddy paused and looked up at her expectantly, clearly picking up on the fact that he was at risk of losing the book.

Draco crouched down next to him. "Cousin, you need to be very careful with this book. It's from when I was a boy and was very special to me, but if you promise to take care of it, it's yours."

Teddy's eyes widened in awe and he clutched the large book against his chest. "I will," he whispered and Draco nodded, then stood back up.

"That's settled," he said to his aunt.

"Thank you, Draco."

"Just consider it payment for a number of overdue birthday and Christmas gifts."

Draco saw that his aunt's eyes were wet with tears and he looked away quickly, embarrassed for her, though she didn't seem to mind. "How is your mother, Draco?"

Draco's chest clenched painfully at the unexpected question and he saw Potter's eyes widen, then he crouched down next to Teddy and asked him to show him his book.

"Right, uh, I don't know," Draco stumbled through his response, then took a deep breath and finished. "I don't see her very much anymore." He felt Hermione put her arm around his waist and he bent down and kissed her on the head, relieved to have her back at his side.

Andromeda looked at Hermione, then nodded knowingly. "But she- she hasn't completely cut you out of her life, right?"

Draco shook his head, then added, "Not yet, at least." Hermione tightened her grip on him and he smiled back at her, though it was a bit forced.

His aunt looked back at him sadly, then she smiled and said, "I'm proud of you. And if you ever need to talk to anyone about what it feels like to abandon your family and upbringing to be with the person you love, send an owl."

She gave him a final nod, then turned to face Potter and her grandson. "We should go, it's well past Teddy's bedtime. Thanks for having us, Harry. And thank you, Draco, for entertaining Teddy."

After the pair of them left, Potter, Hermione, and Draco returned to the sitting room. Weasley was standing near the entryway and was the first to notice Draco's return.

"Oh, Malfoy's back. Where was he?"

Hermione said, "Playing with Teddy," while Potter said, "Hiding in Kreacher's cupboard," at the same time.

Potter immediately looked ashamed and Hermione glared at him angrily, but Draco found it amusing and tried to suppress a grin. He was glad to see that he wasn't the only one struggling to be nice to someone he'd spent most of his life hating. And it was also good to see Hermione glaring at someone besides him for a change.

"You were hiding, Malfoy?" Weasley asked in a mocking tone.

Potter cut in, clearly eager to redeem himself. "I'm glad you were playing with Teddy, Malfoy. I know what it's like to be hiding in a cupboard at events like this." He gave Weasley a pointed look and Weasley blushed slightly.

Then before Draco could stop himself, he said. "I'm sure Weasley has never once in his life experienced the sensation of being alone."

Everyone was silent and Hermione and Potter looked warily toward Weasley. Draco hadn't meant this comment as an insult, but it was the kind of thing that could be taken badly, if Weasley wanted. He could claim Draco was trying to poke fun at his parents for having more children than they could afford.

It was clear Weasley still disliked Draco. Draco's apology attempt last week had been proof enough of that. Weasley had asked Draco to list out everything he was sorry for, then at the end of it said he wasn't ready to forgive him and still didn't trust him before leaving abruptly. It had been humiliating, but it certainly could have been worse, at least no hexes were fired.

Weasley smiled and shrugged, "You've got that right. I've never been the only kid at any event." He left them alone then and Hermione and Potter let out a collective sigh and exchanged a small smile before Potter excused himself too.

Hermione turned to Draco and linked her hands behind his neck. "Progress. He'll get there."

Draco nodded, not really caring, but was glad Hermione was happy.

"Do you have any New Year's resolutions this year?"

Draco wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. "If next year I'm standing somewhere with you in my arms like this, I'll count the whole thing as a raging success."

Hermione smiled, then stood on her toes and gave him a small peck on the cheek. "When did you become so sappy?"

"I think the answer to that is obvious." He placed a soft kiss on her lips, ignoring the glares he knew were directed their way. The other people in the room didn't matter. All that mattered was that Hermione was his, and he was hers, and he had never been so comforted by another thought in his entire life.

* * *

_Present Time: February 2003 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

Draco and Hermione had mostly abandoned her flat, since it had become headquarters for Ginny and Potter's wedding planning. Now they spent most of their time at Draco's flat. She'd wondered initially why he hadn't suggested they stay there sooner since it was larger, nicer, and in a better part of town.

Then he'd admitted that he didn't want his father or Blaise to stop by unannounced, but Hermione had a solution for that. It turned out she was a bit of an expert on wards and was able to limit his Floo connection to only allow her and Draco to travel through. And she also put up anti-apparition wards around the entire flat that prevented anyone besides the two of them from coming and going easily.

Unfortunately, Daphne had made it through the increased security measures by simply knocking on the door and appealing directly to Hermione to let her inside. Hermione had given in too easily and Draco wondered why she was so eager to get to know his friends better.

Daphne had scolded Draco for hiding Hermione away, saying it wasn't fair for him to punish his friends for whatever his father had done at the Halloween ball. Draco had started at that statement. So she'd noticed that. Of course she had, Daphne was far too clever. He was a bit surprised she'd hadn't caught on to the whole time jumping thing yet.

Daphne insisted that Draco resume weekly drinks with his friends, which he'd broken off months ago, and she also insisted that he start bringing Hermione.

He and Hermione were getting ready for their first visit to Nott Manor now. Draco had just returned from a time jump to the future a few hours before and was glad he'd made it back in time. As he held up Hermione's outer robes for her, he remembered something he'd meant to tell her about his most recent jump.

"Oh, when I was in the future, Weasley handed me his baby to hold like it was nothing. So that relationship will certainly improve."

Hermione froze in place with just one arm in her robe. Draco cocked his head in confusion. He'd meant this to be a comforting piece of news. And it didn't violate rule one, so what was her problem?

She seemed to collect herself and put her other arm through her robe quickly and busied herself with checking her beaded bag.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said quickly, and when she looked back up at him he could tell her smile was fake.

"What did you and my future self do while I was gone?" Maybe that was the problem? Had he been sad again? Draco hadn't expected that, since the Hermione he'd seen had been pleasant and very happy. It was January 2005 and he was finding that that year seemed to be a good one for them.

She shrugged. "We didn't talk about much. He seemed to be in good spirits. He said again how he doesn't want us to stop the time jumping since he really likes how everything turned out. But we've already stopped the research, and you carry a neutralizing potion with you all the time now, right?"

Draco patted the pocket of his robe that held the small vial of green potion. "Yes, if I ever get the feeling I've lost any time, I'll take it." This was the defense they'd agreed on against any future attempts by his father to slip him an extraction potion.

Hermione didn't seem upset by her time with his future self, so what had set her off? He thought back on his comment, then realized what it was. He'd mentioned Weasley's baby, that must have been it.

He was sure her mind had jumped to wondering if they had kids in the future, but it was something she'd never ask. And he was glad for that since he knew it was a sore subject for them, though he didn't know why. Did they disagree about wanting kids? Draco wanted them eventually, did she not? She did have aggressive plans for her career, but Draco got the feeling she did want kids, based on their conversation from Easter.

Maybe they couldn't have kids. Was that the problem? Just then a cold feeling, like a large block of ice settling in his stomach, came over him and he thought back to the forgotten conversation with his father that had upset him so much. Was there some reason why he and Hermione wouldn't be able to have children? He wouldn't put it past some ancestor of his to cast a curse on the Malfoy bloodline preventing the heir from siring children with a Muggleborn.

"Draco?" Hermione's voice cut into his thoughts and now it was Draco's turn to plaster a fake smile on his face.

"Let's go, we won't hear the end of it if we're late."

"Are you okay?"

"Of course, my mind was running away from me," he said vaguely.

He pulled her into the hall, then confirmed she was ready before apparating them to Nott Manor.

* * *

**Hermione Granger**

Not even thirty minutes had passed before Hermione excused herself to the loo. She realized quickly she didn't know where it was, but it didn't matter, she didn't actually have to go. She started pacing the hall outside the sitting room nervously, then glanced toward where she knew the library was, wishing she could just go in there and search through books until it was time to go back to Draco's flat.

But she knew that wasn't fair. Draco had been making a big effort with her friends, especially Harry and Ginny, so putting up with his friends for a few hours a week was the least she could do. She just wished they weren't so...cold.

"What's wrong?" Draco appeared in the hall and walked over to her, pulling her into his arms and searching her face.

"Everyone is so tense. Is it because of me?"

He smiled and shook his head. "No, this is normal. We're not as open with each other as your friends."

"But, they're so formal and distant. That can't be how it always is."

Draco shrugged.

"You don't talk about things going on in your life? Just the news and society gossip?"

Draco shrugged again and let her go and she could tell he was uncomfortable.

"What about the war?"

He glared back at her angrily. "We never discuss the war. And who are you to talk? You only recently opened up to me about that."

Ouch, that hurt, but she moved past it. "You're right, I should have opened up to my friends sooner about everything that went on with my parents. But we've all discussed the rest of the war a long time ago. We heard what happened at Hogwarts from Neville and Ginny and caught them up on everything they missed from our end. The bad parts too. It was - well - we're friends, that's what you do."

"My friends are different," Draco said defensively and Hermione could tell he was angry with her, but trying to keep from saying something he'd regret later. She stepped closer to him and gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

"I know, I'm sorry. You're right, everyone deals with these things differently."

Draco relaxed a bit. "Exactly."

"So, how do Slytherins deal with war trauma?"

Draco shrugged. "Fire Whiskey."

Hermione cocked her eyebrow at him but stayed silent. An idea was forming in her mind.

"Are you ready to go back?" he asked.

Hermione nodded, wondering if she'd have the nerve to go through with the reckless plan she had inmind.

* * *

**Daphne Greengrass**

Draco and Hermione disappeared into the hall just thirty minutes into drinks. That wasn't a good sign. "Where did they go?" Theo asked.

Blaise shrugged, "Maybe they're shagging."

Daphne rolled her eyes. "Normal people can control their impulses, Blaise. Plus, I doubt those two are sleeping together. Granger seems like the type who would wait until she was married or something."

Blaise shook his head. "No, they've shagged before."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I can tell these things."

She rolled her eyes again.

"Care for a wager?"

"Sure," Daphne said, "how about five galleons? But the burden of proof is on you."

He smirked, "No problem. Do you want to get in on this, Theo?"

"Okay, but I'm with Daphne."

"This will be an easy ten galleons," Blaise said before taking a sip of his drink.

Even if she was wrong and Draco and Hermione _had_ shagged, Daphne was pretty sure that's not what they were doing now. She guessed Draco was giving Hermione some type of pep talk. She seemed extremely uncomfortable around them. That was fair, since they'd all teased her mercilessly for six years straight.

When they reappeared just ten minutes later, Daphne shot Blaise a pointed look. Ten minutes wasn't nearly enough time for a shag. Draco was rubbing Hermione's back and Daphne remembered how odd she had found his over-protectiveness at the Halloween Ball.

At the time she'd thought it was because they were surrounded by pureblood society members, but maybe Draco was just smitten with her. As she continued to watch them, she noticed that he could barely keep his eyes off her. Hermione seemed less interested, Daphne was disappointed to note. She was deep in thought and Daphne wondered if she was thinking about some book she'd read earlier. Or maybe something she wanted to read once this get together was over.

Did Hermione not like Draco as much as he liked her? Or maybe she was just as guarded as he was and Daphne couldn't read her. She really hoped it was the latter since it would be awful if the first time Draco truly fell for someone, they didn't return the sentiment. Daphne committed to paying closer attention, just in case Hermione was insincere in any way. She didn't seem the type, but money could make people do terrible things, even Gryffindors.

Blaise lifted his glass and turned to Hermione. "Well, Granger, welcome to the group." He handed her a drink, then clinked his glass against hers and took a large gulp. Hermione sipped on the whiskey and winced, then nodded back at Blaise politely.

"Uh, can I recommend a game?" she asked nervously.

"Oh course, but only if it's a drinking game," Blaise added with a wink. Was he flirting with her? Daphne wasn't the only one who thought so. She saw Draco pull Hermione into his side possessively.

"Yes, it's a Muggle drinking game," Hermione continued, seemingly unaware of Draco's flash of jealousy. "It's called 'I've never.' Have you heard of it?"

All the boys shook their heads.

"Ok, well, you try to say things you haven't done, but think the others playing the game have. Because if they have done it, they have to drink. Like...I've never been sorted into Slytherin. You all would drink, since you have."

"Intriguing. What keeps us from lying?" Blaise asked.

"Well, you're not supposed to. That's the rule. And usually in a group of friends like this, someone else knows the truth and can speak up if you try to hide anything."

They all looked back at her like she was a baby unicorn. Clearly Hermione knew nothing about Slytherins. They dealt in secrets and she was sure they each had a pile of them that no one else in the room knew about. But Daphne was still interested in this game of hers, and she could tell Theo and Blaise were too.

Draco looked like he wanted to interject but was afraid of upsetting Hermione. This witch had Draco completely wrapped around her finger.

"Okay, Granger," Theo said, "let's play." He motioned for everyone to take a seat. Draco and Hermione sat next to each other on the couch and Daphne took the chair closest to Hermione, so she could keep an eye on her.

Blaise sat on the chair nearest Draco and Daphne was slightly annoyed he hadn't sat next to her. Theo took that spot instead and shot Daphne a look that said, _This should be interesting._ Daphne nodded and tried to hide her smirk.

"Okay, who's going to start?" Blaise asked. "Was that question you asked first real? The Slytherin one?"

"Oh, no, that was just an example. Also, I thought to make it interesting, we could focus solely on questions related to the war."

Everyone's reaction to this statement was different. Draco glared angrily at Hermione, Blaise's eyes widened in shock, Daphne hitched her breath, and Theo froze in his chair. The tension in the room was palpable. It was Theo who finally broke it. "Interesting, Granger, or bloody depressing?" he asked in a dead voice.

Daphne saw that Draco was about to say something, but she rushed to speak first, "I'll start."

Hermione's idea was insane, but if it got these boys talking through things they'd been repressing for years, maybe it was worth a try. She'd had Astoria to confide in, but the boys bottled everything up inside, worried about appearing weak if they talked about how much they were truly suffering. Maybe it was finally time for them to get it all out so they could move on.

"I've never tortured anyone," Daphne said. "And now the boys, who have all tortured first years, drink. Is that right, Granger?"

Everyone was silent and eerily still. Hermione was looking worriedly at Draco, but he refused to look back at her and was glaring down at his drink instead.

"Uh, yes, Daphne, you had it right," Hermione said eventually and Daphne could tell she was already regretting her decision to start this game.

"This should be fun," Theo muttered darkly to Daphne before he raised his glass and took a large swig of fire whiskey. Then Blaise and Draco drank too.

Daphne leaned toward Hermione and asked, "So does this mean I'm winning?"

Hermione nodded, still looking at Draco concerned. "Uh, yeah. Does anyone want to talk about that more, or-"

"No," Theo cut in, "I'm next. I've never taken the Dark Mark."

Draco scowled at him, then took a small sip of his whiskey.

"This _is_ fun, Granger," Blaise said teasingly. "I've never shagged a Death Eater." He eyed Hermione and laughed when she blushed and took a drink.

"Told you!" Blaise turned toward Daphne and Theo. "You each owe me five galleons."

Daphne rose her hand then and Blaise looked back at her, confused. "I have a question," she said, watching him carefully as she spoke. She saw Draco shift on the couch, but kept her eyes trained on Blaise.

"What?" Blaise asked.

"Does it count if you slept with them before they got their Dark Mark?"

Blaise's face was blank, then his expression turned angry as he worked out what she meant by her question. She was glad to see he was upset but tried not to let it show on her face. "When?" he barked at Draco.

Draco looked over at Daphne, confused, but she just shrugged. "Fifth year," he finally responded.

"You said you were just friends," Blaise hissed.

"We are," Draco responded, then he looked at Hermione but she was focused on Daphne. Daphne was uncomfortable by the attention and looked back at Blaise.

"Well, am I supposed to drink or not?" she asked.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Yes, that counts. Drink." Daphne held his gaze while she took her drink, then Draco started talking, clearly eager to move past the awkward moment.

"I've never fought in the final battle."

He looked over at Hermione, who took a quick drink before saying, "But you were there."

"I didn't have a wand," Draco responded.

"Fine. My turn." She took a second to think, then smirked and said, "I've never called Voldemort the Dark Lord."

All the Slytherins grumbled and drank and Daphne praised Hermione inwardly for her cleverness, but on the outside she gave the witch a menacing glare.

"I've never talked about my feelings from the war," Daphne said, still glaring at Hermione.

It was a lie, since she'd talked to Astoria about everything, but she didn't expect anyone to call her out on it. And she wanted to say something she knew Hermione had done.

She smiled when Hermione drank, but then nearly had a heart attack when Draco took a drink too. She whipped her head to Blaise and Theo who looked equally surprised. Daphne recalled Astoria's most common complaint about Draco then, that he never opened up. And her attempts at getting him to confide in her had always failed. But he'd talked to Hermione? Things were more serious than she'd realized.

"You've talked to each other?" Theo asked in a disbelieving tone.

Draco gave him a curt nod, then he and Hermione shared a knowing look.

Theo just shrugged. "Okay, my turn then. I've never gotten over the nightmares." No one in the room drank to that. "Okay, uh - what now, Granger?"

"Oh, right," she seemed to snap out of a daze. "Uh, you drink then."

"I think all of us should drink to that one," Blaise said and everyone followed his lead without protest.

It was Blaise's turn now. "I've never killed anyone." Daphne saw Hermione flinch, but everyone else in the room was completely still.

When Draco saw Blaise looking at him, he bit back defensively, "Fucking hell, I never killed anyone." He looked back at Hermione then. "Did you think that?"

She shrugged, "I try my best not to think about it."

Daphne had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing. She was liking this witch more and more. "I thought it was a requirement to become a Death Eater," Blaise said. "The name sort of implies it."

"Well you were wrong. Now you drink, you idiot," Draco snapped back.

Blaise shook his head, then drained the rest of his drink. He refilled it quickly with his wand and looked challenging back at Draco. "Okay, your turn."

Hermione placed a comforting hand on his leg, then he mumbled, "This is for thinking I was a murderer."

"I didn't-" she started to say, but Draco said in a louder voice, "I never had the courage to fight back."

Draco didn't even bother to look around the room, everyone knew there was only one person who'd be drinking this round. "Go on, Hermione, drink."

"That's not entirely fair."

"He's right, you should drink," Theo said. "Even if only half the things I read in the paper about you were true, you were braver than all of us combined. But again, you are a Gryffindor," he added with a sneer.

Hermione finished the rest of her glass, then Draco refilled it for her with his wand. She took a few moments to consider her next statement, then she said, "I've never understood why you all went along with it if you were so miserable."

All the Slytherins drank and while they did, they each avoided each other's eyes. "Can you please explain it to me?" Hermione asked.

Daphne thought the timing of her question was perfect. It wouldn't have worked earlier, but they were all a little buzzed now and had already revealed a bit about themselves, and she thought if there was ever a time for Hermione to get a real answer to her question, now was it. She wondered if Hermione knew that.

Blaise spoke first and his voice sounded uncharacteristically devoid of emotion. "We were spared punishment if we complied. Longbottom fought back, but he was turned into a carving post. I was just trying to save my skin." He looked down at his lap, ashamed.

Daphne talked then, hoping to give Blaise some relief. "Same as Blaise for me. I was terrified." He looked up at her and gave her a small smile from across the room but then seemed to remember that he was angry with her and turned away. She longed to be close enough to place a comforting hand on him.

"I was protecting myself and my parents from getting tortured again," Draco started talking then. "I tried to do what I could to help, as Head Boy, like averting as many people into detentions writing lines with me instead of sending them to the Carrows. But if they had ever found out and threatened my family, I would have stopped."

He dropped his head and Hermione rubbed his back comfortingly, then whispered something in his ear.

"Same as Draco," Theo added. "My own father would have tortured me without hesitation if he heard I was acting out."

"So, it wasn't about Muggleborns for any of you?" Hermione asked.

Daphne, Theo, and Blaise shook their heads and Draco pulled Hermione close to him and kissed her on the temple. She nodded absently, then took a large swig of whiskey and this time she didn't wince.

Daphne raised her glass. "I've never wanted Hermione Granger, or any Muggleborn, to be hurt." She stared at Hermione as she said this, desperate for her to believe that she was sincere. It was important all of sudden that Hermione know this.

"We were kids," Daphne continued. "We didn't know what we were saying. Then, when it became real, I just wanted it all to stop."

"Some people were truly nasty," Theo added his voice then. "Crabbe, Goyle, my father, Draco's father, maybe. I'm still unsure on that one."

"Me neither," Draco said in a low voice.

"But not us," Theo continued. "We were just…"

"Stuck," Blaise provided. And Daphne and Theo nodded in response.

"Thank you for explaining," Hermione's voice was soft. "We can stop the game now."

"No," both Theo and Blaise said at the same time. "Let's keep playing," Blaise continued, "though maybe we can expand to topics besides the war?"

Hermione nodded and they all agreed to play a few more rounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: We finally got to see that drinking game referenced in the Honeymoon scene from chapter 6. This whole scene came about because I had decided that Hermione would be the reason the Slytherins became closer friends, but I was struggling for a way she would go about this. Well this is the idea I came up with. I think after this night they find it easier to be more open with each other.
> 
> Many thanks to my beta reader Lancashire Witch for helping me make these characters feel realistic. You can follow me over on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson to see aesthetics and a few behind the scenes drabbles for each chapter. I also posted a link to a timeline file for this story over there. Thanks so much for reading, please let me know what you think.
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Sat, Dec-5.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

Be careful about giving your heart too quickly, _I was told._

Boys only have one thing on their minds, _they cautioned._

_I don't know if he truly loves me - how can I be sure? I can't say with any conviction that he won't break my heart - but how could I have stopped him from taking what was already his?_

_He swept in like a tsunami, wave after wave, and I didn't stand a chance. All those warnings, all the things they tried to prepare me for - lost in an instant - to the enormity of what I felt._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: March 2003 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Daphne Greengrass **

A few moments after Draco and Hermione left the room, Daphne saw that their cloaks were still hanging on the wall. She rose from her spot and walked carefully to the other side of the room and draped the two cloaks over her arm.

 _What an odd thing to do,_ she thought. Why hadn't she just summoned one of Theo's house elves? But her brain wasn't working very well. Too much alcohol, she figured. But compared to the boys, she was completely sober.

She moved into the dark hall and made her way to the drawing room where Draco and Hermione would have gone to Floo away. Sure enough, she heard their voices coming out of the room as she got nearer.

"Thank you, that was good for us," Draco was talking louder than normal and slurring his words. "Even though we all ended the night fucking miserable."

Daphne peered into the room and saw him place a sloppy kiss on Hermione's cheek. She patted his face tenderly and tried to extricate herself from his grip. "I'm glad everyone was able to talk about it. Now maybe you can try to move past it all."

"I'm glad no one thinks I'm a murderer anymore. Did you really think I'd killed someone?"

Hermione smiled kindly at him and shook her head.

"You are brilliant."

Hermione blushed, then tried to pull Draco closer to the fire. "Yes, you've said that before. Let's go."

"No, hear me out," Draco remained in place. "You got us to open up and connect, but not by holding hands in a fucking circle, but in a competitive drinking game. You're perfect. I love you."

Daphne hitched her breath and stepped back into the hall. She didn't hear Hermione's response, but hoped to hell she'd returned his sentiments.

"Oh, our cloaks," Daphne heard Hermione exclaim then.

"I'll get them, you go on home."

Daphne straightened her spine and waited for Draco to appear in the hall. He jumped when he saw her standing in the shadows. "Fuck, Daphne, what are you doing?"

She held the cloaks out to him, "You forgot these."

He nodded and took them in his hands, then looked down at her. "Are you okay?"

She must look awful if Draco could pick up on it in this state of inebriation. "I'm fine, Draco, go back to your girlfriend."

He turned to the drawing room, then stopped in the doorway and looked back at her. "I'm sorry about Blaise. You didn't have to own up to that, I wasn't going to rat you out."

"It's fine. It's about time he knows. Maybe now, he'll finally notice he cares about me."

Draco was back at her side and placed a heavy arm around her shoulders. She leaned against him and asked, "So you love her?"

"She consumes my thoughts," he replied.

"Sounds like an unhealthy obsession," Daphne said with a smirk "And she loves you back?"

"I think she does. But I have no idea why."

"I'm happy for you, Draco."

"Really?"

"Yes, she seems good for you. Good for all of us, surprisingly."

"Yeah, she's incredible," he was staring off in the distance now and looked like a lovesick teenager.

"Okay, no need to rub it in. Go back to the woman you love. I'll see you next week."

* * *

** Blaise Zabini **

"Draco and Hermione have gone home," Daphne said when she got back into the room.

"Are you missing your boyfriend?" Blaise asked cruelly from his spot on the couch. He barely registered the feeling of Theo stomping on his foot. Everything felt fuzzy and numb. Too much Fire Whiskey.

"Shut up, Blaise," Daphne replied sharply, then she sat in the chair closest to him.

"I didn't know you were such a slag, Daphne."

She smirked, "Finally interested now?"

Blaise narrowed his eyes at her, trying to keep his head from spinning.

"Stop being a prick, Blaise," Theo chimed in. "It was one night in fifth year. We're all allowed mistakes."

"Mind your fucking business, Theo."

Theo shrugged and got to his feet. "Whatever, I'm going to bed. You two can let yourselves out."

"I'm leaving too," Daphne said as she carefully pulled herself to a standing position.

"We're not finished here," Blaise snapped at her.

"Shut up, Blaise. You don't even care. You're just angry you didn't know. We all had a hard night and drank way too much. If you still want to discuss it tomorrow, you know where I live." She left the room and Blaise sat on the couch, watching the dark hall for a long while, secretly hoping she'd reappear.

She was right about one thing, it wasn't her sleeping with Draco that was upsetting him so much. It was something else she'd said tonight. He'd heard her telling Hermione that Draco had protected her during the war. She'd said one of the Carrows had become interested in her and Astoria and had started visiting their dorms at night.

Draco intervened immediately and allowed them to stay in his Head Boy dormitory. Daphne had never told Blaise anything about that in seventh year. She went to Draco for help, not him. The drunken sex he could forgive, but for some reason, not this.

But why did he care? Daphne was just a friend he slept with on occasion. And he knew she and Draco were friends and hadn't minded before. But she'd turned to him, first, when she really needed help. Did she not think Blaise capable enough?

He knew he should go back to his flat, but he didn't have the energy to get up from the couch. Instead, he summoned a house elf and had him bring him a pillow and blanket, then laid on the couch. He was so terribly angry, but not entirely sure why.

* * *

** Hermione Granger **

Hermione and Draco spent the next day lounging around his flat. It was rainy and they were both hung over from the night before, so they decided going outside, or even getting dressed, weren't necessary that day.

"I have a question, Hermione." Draco was laying on the couch and reading one of the books she'd recommended for him. She peered at the cover and recognized the book as _Robinson Crusoe._

"What is it?"

"Do Muggles really travel like this?"

"What?"

"On ships? Sailing across the sea for months?"

Hermione put her book down and studied his face. Surely he was joking, but his expression was unreadable. "Please tell me you don't actually think Muggles travel around on ships these days. The same people who invented television, mobile phones, headphones, cars, all that. You think they take month-long journeys at sea to get from one continent to the next?"

Draco waved the book at her, smiling now. "So this is all made up?"

"No, it's just, very outdated. Muggles have come a long way. You should give them more credit."

"Don't be annoyed, it's a reasonable question. How else would they cross vast oceans without magic?"

She crossed her arms and sighed. "Please tell me you're not that thick."

Draco got up from the couch and started walking to where she was sitting. "Please tell me that you, the person who can find it in her heart to feel bad for vicious centaurs and pathetic house elves, are not calling a poor, sheltered wizard who knows nothing about Muggles, thick."

He squeezed into the chair with her and pulled her into his arms. She could tell by his eyes he found this entire interchange extremely amusing.

"House elves are not pathetic, and centaurs are not vicious," she grumbled.

"Well, I am not thick," he whispered in her ear.

She sighed and smiled back at him. "Do you really not know how they get around?"

He shrugged, "Why would I?" He shot her a roguish smile then and she shook her head.

"I don't believe you."

He tightened his arms around her. "What do I need to do to get you to start a club for sad purebloods who know alarmingly little about the world around them?"

"Shut up," she said, then she leaned her head against his chest and they sat there in the cramped chair for several minutes as they watched the rain fall outside.

"I love this view, and this flat," she said, her voice a little muffled against his chest.

He shifted slightly so he was looking down at her. "Then move in."

"What?"

"Get your things and bring them here."

"I know what moving in means."

He smiled and shrugged and she could tell he was nervous about her response, but didn't want to appear so.

"It's actually happening, isn't it?" she whispered.

He was silent and she knew she didn't have to elaborate further. He knew exactly what she was talking about. "Is that so bad?" he asked in a low voice.

She shook her head and smiled, then placed a soft kiss on his lips. "I'd love to. And it's good timing with Ginny about to officially move in with Harry soon."

He pulled her close and buried his head in her hair and she heard him mutter to himself, "Thank Merlin."

Hermione stood and stretched out, then carefully moved her head from side to side. "You know, I think my head has just now stopped spinning. I haven't had that much to drink in my entire life."

Draco smirked at her and stood to join her, pulling her into a hug. "We don't usually drink that much. You depressed everyone with that game. But it was good, I'm glad you did that."

"I've been meaning to ask about Blaise and Daphne."

"Oh, right," Draco stepped back and looked slightly ashamed.

"I don't care about you and Daphne," she clarified, "you'd already told me about that. But what is going on with them? They seem to be...aggressively infatuated with each other."

Draco snorted. "Yes, that's probably an accurate description. Daphne's in love with him, but that seems clear to everyone besides Blaise. And Blaise...who knows? He's too distracted chasing slags to notice anything else."

"Did they date in school?"

Draco shook his head. "Daphne had an older boyfriend for most of school, but they broke it off once he graduated and she was alone that last year. And Blaise has always been like this."

Hermione cringed. "Yes, he's quite repulsive in that regard. And incredibly crass. I don't know how Daphne stands him." She wrapped her arms around herself and wondered if she'd ever get used to his constant references to sex. He'd seemed to tease her more than anyone, as if he knew it made her especially uncomfortable.

Draco pulled her into his arms again. "He was only like that with you because he knew you hated it. Remember, he's a campaign manager. He's skilled at picking up on people's weaknesses and exploiting them."

"Sounds like a great friend," she mumbled sarcastically.

"He is, once he decides he likes you. And if you want to get him to stop teasing you about shagging, you just need to lean into it. Own up to the fact that we shag, maybe bring it up one or two times yourself, and he'll drop it soon enough, if he doesn't think it's bothering you."

Hermione sighed. "Your friends are so different from mine."

"Thank Merlin for that," Draco responded with a sly grin and she pushed him away playfully.

"Anyway, we've gone all day without bathing," he said, "which makes us almost as disgusting as Blaise. Care to join me for a quick shower before bed?" He was wiggling his eyebrows suggestively and she pushed him again, but really had no intention of saying no.

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

Later that night, Draco had a nightmare. He was on a raid at a Muggle village, walking down the dark streets in his Death Eater robes with his aunt and his father on either side of him. They stopped outside an ordinary looking, brown house and his father turned to Bellatrix and asked, "This is really where they live?"

She shrugged and wordlessly unlocked the door, then kicked it open and charged inside. When they entered the house there were two Muggles sitting on the couch watching the television. They turned and looked confused at the sudden appearance of three masked people in their home.

The man had Hermione's same hair and eye color and something about their mouths were similar. And the woman looked remarkably like Hermione, but without the curly hair. "We're looking for Potter's Mudblood!" Bellatrix shouted at them.

They continued to look back at them confused. Just then, Hermione ran into the room with her wand raised and placed herself in front of the Muggles. "Don't hurt them, take me instead!"

Draco moved to help her, but found he was completely frozen in place. He tried to lift his wand, pick up a foot, even turn his head, but could not move. He tried to speak then, but his jaw was closed shut. He felt a hand on his arm and recognized his father's voice in his ear, "Let her go, it's for the best."

Then before Draco could react, a flash of green light erupted from Bellatrix's wand and hit Hermione square in the chest.

"No!" Draco shot up in bed. His heart was beating wildly and he was drenched in sweat. Something grabbed his arm and he flung it off frantically and rushed to pick up his wand. He lit the end and sighed when he saw Hermione looking back at him worriedly.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry, did I hurt you?"

She shook her head, then used her wand to light the lamp before gently lowering his wand arm, which was still raised. Draco closed his eyes and tried to take deep breaths but couldn't get the image of Hermione getting blasted with a killing curse out of his mind.

When he opened his eyes, she was gone and he started to panic, maybe the scene in the house was real and this was a dream?! She reappeared then, holding a glass of water and a blue potion which she placed on his nightstand before climbing back into bed.

He could tell she was trying to give him space, but all he wanted was to hold her in his arms. He stood up and drained both the water and the potion, then he removed his sweat-drenched shirt and got back into bed.

Hermione moved to his side and pulled his head into her chest. He sighed and focused on her warmth. She began running her hands through his hair and he knew it was still wet with sweat. "Sorry, I'm a little gross."

"We'll just have to take another shower in the morning."

He sighed and listened to the comforting sound on her heart beat while he tried to clear his mind. But even with the aid of the Brain Elixir, he couldn't get that terrible image of Hermione out of his head. He focused back on her heart beats.

_Thump thump thump...It wasn't real...thump thump...Bellatrix is dead...thump thump...My father would never hurt Hermione...thump...Hermione herself told me no one was threatening us...thump thump...It was just a dream...thump...It wasn't real…_

"What was it, Draco?" Hermione asked after a long while. "I can tell this nightmare was worse for some reason."

Draco shook his head. He couldn't possibly admit what he'd seen. This Hermione didn't know he'd gone on raids to find Muggles. He personally had never hurt or killed any of them, but he'd been there. And he'd watched them brought back to the Manor where they were thrown in the dungeons. And never once had he tried to free them.

The real memories he had from the war were bad enough, but recently Hermione started showing up in all of them while he slept. It was like this one. She was being tortured or killed, and Draco did in the dream exactly what he'd done in real life - absolutely nothing.

"More memories from the war," Draco said eventually, and she continued to stroke his hair.

Draco couldn't help a few drops of tears from falling on her chest and when she noticed she began rubbing them away with her fingers. "I love you, Draco," she whispered and that only made the tears fall faster.

"Why?" he choked out. "How could you possibly want to be with me?" He wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her closer and she moved her hands so they were rubbing his back now.

"You were in an impossible situation, Draco." He could feel her words vibrating in her chest as she spoke. "But you're a good person, and that's why this bothers you so much. I forgive you for it, and you need to try to forgive yourself so you can move past it. But until then, I'll be here to help you."

He nodded, then said in a shaky voice. "You deserve someone stronger."

She took a deep breath before responding. "I believe just last week our positions were reversed and it was you helping me with a nightmare. How about we take turns being strong?"

Draco picked his head up and looked at her. She was gorgeous in the low light, even with her hair in a wild mane around her face. "How did I manage without you? I know it wasn't even a year ago, but I have no idea how I could have possibly thought that what I was doing then was living."

"There you go, being dramatic again," she said with a small smirk.

"Really, though, I was just stumbling in the dark, looking for you."

She smiled again, then she reached for her wand and put out the lights. "Let's go back to bed, we actually have to get dressed and do things tomorrow, so we should get some sleep." She wrapped her arms around him and placed a kiss on his shoulder blade.

"You're not re-thinking living with me, are you?" He'd been waiting to ask this question in the dark, since he was worried about her response.

"Because we both have nightmares? I think that's an argument for living together. Plus, I already sleep here every night."

"But you could always leave if you wanted. If you give up your flat, you won't have that option anymore."

"I already agreed to move in and I'm not changing my mind. So don't go rescinding the invitation."

He smiled, but then she said, "Though, I have been thinking more on this and there's someone I need to clear it with first."

Draco was holding his breath. Who was she talking about? If it was her parents or any of her friends, he was screwed. Potter liked him okay, but he didn't think he'd approve of Hermione moving in with him.

"Who?" he said as casually as he could.

"Crookshanks."

* * *

** Astoria Greengrass **

"What do you think, Daphne?" Astoria was studying her appearance in the mirror as she tried on her wedding gown at the final fitting before her big day.

"Lovely, Astoria," Daphne said in a bored tone. Astoria turned to her sister and saw she was staring absently out of the window. Astoria sighed, then waved for the seamstress to leave them alone.

"What is it now?" Astoria approached her sister and waited patiently for her to turn back and face her.

"Nothing, why?" She kept her gaze on the people walking down the rainy streets outside.

"Please tell me it's not Blaise again."

Her sister shrugged. Then she turned back to Astoria and looked down before saying, "It's Draco, actually."

"What?" Astoria cried out in alarm and Daphne shushed her and pulled her onto the couch, looking around to make sure they were still alone.

"It's not like that," she hissed. "I'm just worried about him, that's all."

"Why are you worried? I just had lunch with him yesterday and he seems happier than I've ever seen him." Astoria was very glad she had found Edmund before Draco had decided to fall madly in love with Hermione Granger. Seeing him like that would have torn her to pieces otherwise. But now, she had an incredible fiancé who was much better suited for her than Draco had been, and she could truly feel glad for him.

But she never expected Daphne to have a problem. She loved Draco, sometimes to Astoria's intense frustration. When they'd fought, she'd often times taken his side over her own sister's.

"There's something wrong there," Daphne explained. "You know Draco, since when does he behave like that? He's completely head over heels in love with her and isn't even trying to hide it. I think she's spelled him or something, or maybe slipped him a love potion."

Astoria nodded back at her sister sadly.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I think I know what's going on here."

Daphne narrowed her eyes at her and crossed her arms. "I'm just worried about my friend."

"I don't think so."

Daphne turned away from her and went back to looking out the window. "I don't want to know your opinion on it, Stori."

"Well, you're going to hear it. I think this has nothing to do with Draco, and nothing to do with Hermione, who - by the way - has absolutely no reason to bewitch Draco, her former childhood bully, into loving her. Honestly, Daphne."

Daphne turned her nose up but Astoria kept talking since she knew her sister was listening. "I think this has everything to do with Blaise."

"Blaise?" Daphne looked legitimately surprised and Astoria rolled her eyes. Her sister was usually so clever, but when it came to Blaise Zabini she was an absolute idiot.

"We both know Draco very well and we both pegged him as the type of wizard who would never let anyone get truly close to him. But then he finds Hermione Granger, of all people, and transforms into a whole different person. Which just means that this whole time he had it in him, he just hadn't found the right witch yet. And you're terrified it will be the same with Blaise."

Daphne huffed but Astoria continued. "This whole time you've just hoped that one day he'll grow up and finally see you standing there, waiting for him. But now, after seeing Draco, you're worried that it's not timing that's the problem, but that Blaise just hasn't found the right witch. So, you're trying to convince yourself that what's going on with Draco and Hermione isn't real, but Daphne, I think you're wrong. And deep down, I think you know it too."

She placed a comforting hand on her sister's shoulder, but Daphne shrugged it off. She turned her head then and Astoria saw her wipe an errant tear from her face.

"You're wrong," Daphne said sharply. "There's something not right here and I'm going to get to the bottom of it."

Astoria sighed and stood up again, straightening the skirt of her dress. "And how are you going to do that?"

"I'm going to befriend Hermione and find out what she's hiding."

"Hermione is incredibly clever and is best friends with Harry Potter. And now she has Draco on her side, too. Do you really think this is a good idea?"

Daphne nodded.

Astoria let out another breath, then shook her head and turned back to the mirror. "Okay, it doesn't seem like you're in the mood to listen to reason today. What do you think of the dress?"

"It's hideous," Daphne grumbled, and Astoria rolled her eyes. Why couldn't she have had a brother?

* * *

_Present Time: April 2003 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Daphne Greengrass **

"What is with the fascination all Muggles have with jeans?" Daphne asked as she extracted a fourth pair of those horrid pants from Hermione's closet. "And why do they need so many pairs?"

"They're comfortable, Daphne," Hermione said from her spot on the bed. She was laying on her stomach, editing something for work while Daphne tried to organize her closet. She really should just give up; it was clearly a lost cause.

"Okay, this is the pile of clothes you need to get rid of."

Hermione's eyes widened. "That leaves me with five outfits."

"Well, it's a good thing Draco's rich. You could replace your wardrobe ten times and he wouldn't even notice."

She narrowed her eyes at Daphne. "I'm not with Draco for his money."

Daphne walked back to the bed and studied the other witch. She seemed to be telling the truth. But if it wasn't money, then what was it? "Why are you with Draco then?" Daphne asked.

"I love him. Why is that so hard for you to believe?"

"Because he was awful to you for years. And surely your friends don't approve."

"My friends are fine. They're actually taking it a lot better than his friends," she bit back in a challenging tone.

Daphne rolled her eyes and turned back to the closet. Astoria was right, Hermione was much too clever to slip up and accidentally reveal something to Daphne. And the more time Daphne spent with her the more she was beginning to suspect that Hermione might actually love Draco.

"What's wrong, Daphne?" Daphne jumped, not realizing Hermione had crept to her side. Daphne took a deep breath and waved her away. "I know you're protective of Draco, but I do love him, and I'm not going to hurt him."

Hermione's brown eyes were disgustingly sincere and Daphne took another breath and tried to keep the tears welling behind her own eyes from falling. Stupid Astoria with her stupid theory about this all being about Daphne's feelings for Blaise. "Fine, Hermione," she said eventually. "Anyway, you need to go shopping."

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"No, hear me out. I'll take you and you can use your own money, but you need nicer clothes than these," she waved toward the pile of clothes on the ground. "You're too pretty to be wearing this Muggle rubbish everywhere."

Hermione scowled at her and Daphne could tell she was about to protest.

"I'm not saying Muggles are inferior, but it is an undeniable fact that they are considerably more informal than wizards, and you, Hermione, are a witch. So you need to start dressing like one if you want people to take you more seriously."

Daphne could tell this argument had landed with her. "Fine," Hermione said. "But just for work and when I go out in public. I'm still keeping some of this for the weekend, when it's just me and Draco."

Daphne should have known to start with the work argument sooner. Hermione seemed obsessed with her job and Daphne wondered if it was because she felt she had to prove herself as a Muggleborn. "How is all that going?" she waved toward the pile of parchment on the bed.

Hermione's face fell. "Really awful, actually, but don't tell Draco, okay?"

"Oh, uh…" Daphne was surprised she was confiding in her so quickly. Then she felt a little guilty about her insincerity in starting up this friendship.

"It's Lucius, he's awful. He hates me so much and makes everything three times harder than it needs to be. The job is an excellent experience though, so I'm not going to move. I just hope, with time, he'll see that and lay off a bit."

Daphne nodded. "Is it because you're with Draco? Or do you think he'd be this bad anyway?"

Hermione shrugged. "I have no idea. But I can't tell Draco about it, there's already a lot of tension between them and I don't want to add to it. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent." She bent over and picked out a few items of clothing from the pile on the floor.

Daphne was annoyed when she rescued one of the pairs of jeans. She was sure after she introduced Hermione to the feeling of proper fabrics she would never go back to those terrible pants. "Well, don't underestimate the power of looking your best, Hermione. Maybe Lucius will be so shocked that he'll finally decide to leave you alone."

Hermione snorted. "Yeah, sure Daphne. I'm sure it's my clothes he hates so much." She started folding the items she was holding and placed them back in her closet.

"Those are just for wearing around here," Daphne said sharply, "okay?"

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Though I could argue that you should dress up for Draco too."

Hermione moved her hands to her hips and glared at Daphne. "Draco doesn't care what I wear."

"Sure he doesn't," Daphne said sardonically and she was met with an even angrier glare.

"Maybe while we're working on my wardrobe, we can work on improving your tactfulness," Hermione bit back and Daphne tried hard to suppress a smile. This witch was much more fun than Daphne had originally given her credit for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Another Slytherin chapter. I hope you all don't mind the deviations from the main plot too much. None of my other stories had big side plots like this one but it was one of the challenges I set for myself for this fic. I wanted to make a giant, complicated, super long story with a lot of interwoven plot lines since I've never taken on something so difficult before. And I think with the time travel it will make some of these other stories even more interesting. So thanks for coming along for the ride!
> 
> Many thanks to my beta reader Lancashire Witch for helping me make these characters feel realistic. You can follow me over on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson for more content related to this story. Thanks so much for reading, please let me know what you think.
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Mon, Dec-7.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

_Souls do not have calendars or clocks, nor do they understand the notion of time or distance._

_They only know it feels right to be with one another._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: May 2003 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Hermione Granger **

"Were you planning to leave any of the books behind?" Theo asked when he walked into the library and saw the large pile of books Hermione had set aside.

She blushed and climbed down from the ladder she was currently perched on. "Right, sorry. I'm not taking all of these, I'm just going to decide on three, if that's okay, and I'll bring them back quickly."

Theo shook his head. "Take however many you want, Granger, and bring them back never. It's really fine. It's good to know these are actually getting used rather than collecting dust on the shelf.

"That's sweet of you, Theo, but really, I'd feel too bad. I'll take some as a loan, then be back next week to swap them out for more."

After Hermione had snuck off to the Nott library the last two times she and Draco had been here for drinks, Theo had suggested she just come by later and peruse the library at her leisure. She'd taken him up on the offer instantly and this was already her third trip here since his initial invitation.

"Fine, but you have to promise to stop calling me sweet," he grumbled but she could tell he was suppressing a smile.

She really liked Theo. He'd initially come off as arrogant and bored with everything and everyone around him, but she'd learned quickly that that was just an act and anytime she was alone with him, he was caring and considerate. She wondered why he closed himself off so much. There was definitely something there, but she needed to get closer to him before trying to bring it up.

She turned back to the pile of books and tried to decide which three she'd bring home this time. But Theo's next question cut into her thoughts. "Did you and Draco get over your fight?"

She looked back at Theo, confused. "What?"

"He came around here two nights ago, asking me about Blaise and Daphne and if we were all still friends. Then he said you were fighting, but I told him to just go home and make up, since we all like you better than him anyway."

Hermione laughed as she realized that Theo was referring to past Draco. Draco had time jumped two nights ago. Her Draco had gone to the past and said he'd tried to find her at the café, but she hadn't been there. And his past self had come forward in his place and been very nasty.

He'd tried to kick her out of their flat, then threatened to call the authorities. She'd laughed at that, then he'd had the nerve to hex her. Her leg still hurt from where he'd got her with a powerful stinging hex.

He proceeded to call her a bitch, to which she'd responded with an uncharacteristic obscenity of her own, before disappearing into their bedroom. She'd heard the crack of apparation a few moments later and hadn't seen him the rest of the night. He must have come here next. She wondered what he'd thought when Theo had said all his friends liked her more. That served him right.

It had hurt, seeing him like that – looking at her like she was scum. It was like they were back in school and she was just a useless Mudblood to him. She'd cried for an hour in their room after he'd left, but she knew she'd have to get used to it. When Draco got back from the past he'd been horrified, then admitted that that was one of the milder fights they'd have.

Theo cleared his throat and she saw he was watching her curiously. She was rubbing the spot on her leg where Draco had hexed her and stopped quickly, then looked back into Theo's kind, dark eyes. "What is it, did he hurt you?" Theo whispered, looking down at the place on her leg where her hands had been.

Tears flooded Hermione's eyes at Theo's unexpected kindness, but she dropped her head and tried to regain her composure. She didn't want Theo to get the wrong idea about Draco. "No, he would never. And even though he was a complete arse that night, we've already made up." She took a deep breath and forced a smile on her face. "Thank you for sticking up for me. I'd call you the s-word again, but I don't want to be banned from coming back here."

Theo still looked concerned and she saw he was about to say something else when Blaise entered the room. Theo dropped his smile and went back to looking like his bored, indifferent self.

"Oh, if it isn't my favorite Gryffindor!"

"Hi, Blaise," Hermione said quickly before turning back to her books.

He came to her side and leaned against the bookshelf, watching her. "What is it?" she asked, a little annoyed.

"You don't like me."

Hermione saw Theo roll his eyes and she winked at him. "I like you just fine, Blaise."

"Where is your other half?"

Hermione shrugged, "I don't know. We are capable of being apart. We were apart for twenty-two years before we got together. But if you're worried about us, I can assure you everything is fine. We have dinner plans tonight."

Blaise straightened and began looking through the books on the table. "I like your snarkiness, Granger. It's improved vastly in just the few short weeks we've been friends. Where are you going for dinner?"

"The Wilted Rose," she said absently as she scanned the books again and dropped one of them into her bag.

"Has Draco told you about the time he shagged a random slag in the bathroom of that restaurant?"

Hermione froze and she saw Theo shift uncomfortably, then she glared at Blaise. Luckily, she had already had the conversation with Draco about the people they'd been with in the past. Her number was very small - one: Ron. Draco's was a little larger: five, but not so bad. He'd been with Pansy and Daphne in school, and he'd obviously been with Astoria. And shortly after the war, following a nasty break-up with Pansy, he said he'd tried Blaise's lifestyle. He said after just two weeks (and sex with two random witches whose names he'd forgotten) he'd realized it wasn't for him and given it up.

She steeled herself, then turned to face Blaise, remembering Draco's advice about how best deal with him.

"Actually, yes. But if you're wondering if there will be a repeat performance tonight, I can assure you there will not be. And if you're also wondering if I've ever shagged in public, I am not ashamed that my answer to that is no. I've been able to enjoy a satisfying sex life in the privacy of my own home."

Blaise was astonished by her response and she took a second to enjoy his reaction. Theo was smiling widely and this time when she looked at him, he winked at her. Blaise tried to recover control of the situation. "Care to elaborate about this satisfying sex life?"

"Why, looking for pointers?" She asked and Theo snorted. "Because if you are, it would be easier to appeal to Draco directly for advice. Cut out the middleman."

Blaise was shocked and finally at a loss for words. Hermione selected her last two books quickly, then dropped them in her bag before excusing herself. She stopped in the hall when she heard Theo's voice. "The look on your face is priceless, I wish I had a camera."

"You know, I wasn't sure about her at first, but she's growing on me," Blaise responded.

Hermione smiled to herself and couldn't wait to tell Draco about it over dinner.

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

A week later, Potter stepped out of the Floo while Draco was working on his investment charts at the dining room table. "No knocking this time, Potter?" Draco asked in a bored tone, though he was actually curious as to why Potter was here, in the middle of a work day.

"I only do that to avoid catching you two snogging, but I know Hermione's at work," Potter explained in a rush, "I need a favor."

Draco raised his eyebrows and put his quill down, then he propped his legs on the chair, leaned back, and crossed his arms. "Okay, Potter, what is it?"

Potter rolled his eyes. "Of course you'd be like this."

"Like what? Willing and ready to drop everything and help out a friend?" Draco motioned toward the quill in front of him which he had, quite literally, dropped when Potter had arrived.

"Whatever, I don't have time for this. I need someone to watch Teddy for a few hours. Andromeda is out of town and Ginny and I are watching him for the week. Well, Ginny has practice until six and I just got called by an informant and I really need to go. Ron and Hermione are tied up with work, and Neville is teaching, Luna and Rolf are away searching for some mysterious creature and even Molly-"

"I'm going to stop you there, Potter. No need to list out the fifty people you considered before me. I'll do it."

"What?"

"I said I'll do it. I play with him all the time."

"Not alone."

"I'll be fine. I'm sure he'd prefer me anyway," Draco added with a smirk. "I seem to recall him saying something about me being the coolest wizard he'd ever met."

Potter snorted and rolled his eyes again. "That's only because you give him sweets and ignore every rule we set for him.

"You're just jealous."

"Well, you'd know the feeling, wouldn't you?" Potter bit back. Draco glared at him but before he could say anything more, he'd disappeared back into the fireplace, presumably to collect Teddy.

Draco tidied up the table, then looked around, wondering what he was going to do with his cousin for the next few hours. They usually played with toys, but Draco and Hermione obviously didn't have any of those.

"Right, here we are." Potter walked out of the fireplace again and this time he was holding Teddy's small hand.

"Hi, Draco! I'm going to spend the day with you! Isn't that wicked?"

"Yeah, Cousin, I was just trying to decide what we're going to do."

"Okay, uh, he's already had lunch," Potter said, "and I'll be back before dinner, so really you don't need to feed him. Nothing but a small snack. Besides that, just try your best to keep him alive."

"I can keep a kid alive for a few hours, Potter," Draco grumbled.

"Oh, I was talking to Teddy." He winked at the kid then and Teddy laughed, then looked curiously at Draco, as if wondering why he wasn't laughing at his godfather's brilliant joke. Potter gave Teddy a small hug, then went to the Floo for the third time that day, yelling, "The Hog's Head," before he disappeared.

Teddy looked back at Draco, scandalized, "My Gran says the Hog's Head is dodgy," he whispered it like it was some great secret.

Draco shook his head and laughed, "Well, she's right. But once you start going to Hogwarts, you'll learn that it's also the only pub that will serve underage wizards, so it's not so bad.

"What does that mean?"

"I'll tell you later."

* * *

When Potter got back, Draco and Teddy were watching an annoying musical program on the telly. All the senseless singing and flashing colors were giving Draco a headache, but Teddy seemed to like it.

"Is this what you did the whole time?" Potter asked from the hall.

Teddy didn't respond since he was currently hypnotized by the television. Draco took the opportunity to finally escape the terrible programming and rose to join Potter in the hall. "Of course not, I couldn't stand four hours of that. If I had to watch just five more minutes I think my head would explode."

Potter nodded knowingly. "What did you do then?"

Draco shrugged. "I took him to Gringotts, since I had an errand there, then used our allotted snack credit-" Potter rolled his eyes at that, "-for ice cream. And then I got him a few pairs of robes. The ones he had were entirely too small."

Potter looked around, then sighed when he spotted the bag from Madam Malkin's in the hall. "Shit, I should have noticed. I'll pay you back."

"No need," Draco waved him off. Hermione had explained how Lupin and Tonks had barely any money so had left Teddy nothing. Andromeda had enough to get by, but not nearly enough to support a growing boy. But any time Harry offered Andromeda money outright, she refused it. So, he bought things for Teddy whenever he noticed he needed them. It was an awkward, unspoken arrangement between him and Andromeda.

"If you think about it," Draco added, "a lot of the gold in my vaults is from the Black family and rightly belongs to Teddy. So really, it's just getting back to him, a little belatedly."

Potter was looking at him with those piercing green eyes, then nodded. "Potter - don't hesitate to ask anytime you need gold for him, understand?"

"I have plenty, and a good bit of it is also from the Blacks," Potter snapped back, and Draco rolled his eyes. "But – I get what you're saying, Malfoy, thank you."

Potter turned back toward the blaring telly then, but before he got to the couch he turned and said to Draco, "Next month, I'm getting married."

"Yes, I believe I read that somewhere."

Potter ignored him. "It wouldn't have happened without your help, I'm sure of it. So...thank you. I owe you a great debt."

Draco snorted at that. "Greater than whatever I owe you, for saving my neck multiple times, then keeping me out of Azkaban twice?"

Potter walked back to Draco and looked at him seriously, then he held his hand out to him. "I do love Ginny a lot, so let's just call it even."

Draco looked down at his hand and something inside him jolted. He was reminded so vividly of that time, in first year, when he'd offered his hand to Potter, and Potter had rejected it. Now, so many years later, so much had changed - look at the two of them. He grabbed his hand and shook it firmly, then gave Potter a curt nod.

"Friends?" Potter asked.

"Why not?"

* * *

_Present Time: June 2003 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Hermione Granger **

Hermione was eating a piece of cake as she watched Draco dance with Luna at Harry and Ginny's wedding. She saw Luna pull away from Draco, then point at his feet. He shook his head, then pulled his wand out of his robes and cast a levitating charm on the two of them.

Luna nodded at him and they both started dancing again, but it was more like floating now. After a few moments, Luna said something and Draco laughed loudly. Hermione couldn't help herself from smiling as she watched them, even though she didn't understand the joke.

Draco was incredibly happy today and she had no idea why. She wondered if someone had hit him with a cheering charm.

"It's still weird having him around." Ron had sat at the opposite side of the table and was also watching the pair.

"I know," she replied. She'd heard from Harry that Ron was planning to propose to Parvati and looked around for her, spotting her at the other end of the tent, currently dancing with Harry. She was a little disappointed Ron hadn't told her the news himself, but there had been a growing distance between them ever since she'd started dating Draco.

Maybe she, Harry, and Ron could start up weekly lunches or dinners, with just the three of them. So they could try to regain the closeness they'd shared in school. "I heard about your plans, with Parvati. And I'm really happy for you, Ron."

He finally pulled his gaze away from Draco and was blushing when he looked at her. "Right, I should have told you, sorry. Uh, thanks, I'm asking her next week."

Hermione gave him a big smile, then took another bite of her cake. "So, Malfoy, he really makes you happy?"

She looked over at Draco and him and Luna had stopped dancing and floating, and now Luna was about to cast a spell. Draco saw her watching him and winked before focusing back on Luna.

"He really does, Ron."

Ron nodded and was biting the inside of his cheek, which he did when he was trying to decide whether to say something or not.

"What is it, Ron? Just say it."

She sighed, ready for whatever argument against Draco he was going to voice. She'd heard every possible protest before, and now she just wanted him to get it over with.

"I notice you don't work as late anymore, and you take a lot more lunches off. And the few times I've been to your flat, there aren't legal briefs strewn across the table."

Hermione nodded, unsure where Ron was going with this.

"Do you remember when I told you that I think everyone can find time in their life for the things that are important to them?"

Hermione's face fell. "Oh, Ron, I'm sorry, I-"

He gave her a small smile and shook his head, "I don't mean anything bad by it. I'm really happy, and it looks like you are too. I'm just saying, I was right, wasn't I?" He smirked at her and she couldn't help but roll her eyes.

"Yes, fine, maybe you _were_ a little right on that. But I still do loads of work on weekends, just ask Draco."

Ron stood and approached her, then held his arm out, "Come on, let's dance."

But they'd barely made it five minutes into their dance before Draco cut in. Ron shook his head, bemused, then went to find another partner.

"I know green is your house color and all, but it doesn't look very good on you," Hermione teased.

"Hah hah," Draco said sarcastically, then pushed her out into a twirl. When he pulled her back, he held her close and placed a kiss on her neck before moving back into a proper dancing position.

"I wasn't jealous when you were dancing with Luna," she pointed out.

"Well, that's different, I've never slept with Lovegood."

"Hmm, fair point."

* * *

** Daphne Greengrass **

The next morning, Daphne was surprised when a house elf came into her room and said she had a visitor. She looked over at the clock. Who would be calling at 9:00am on a Sunday morning? She wasn't even dressed yet.

She pulled a robe over her nightgown and walked to the drawing room, wishing she had asked Tippy who it was. When she got there, Draco was pacing the room, nervously.

"What's wrong?" she asked, suddenly concerned.

But when Draco looked back at her he was beaming. He marched up to her and said boldly, "I'm going to ask her to marry me."

"Oh," Daphne settled into the chair nearest them, "that's...fast."

Draco frowned. "No it isn't. We've been together a year and have been living together for a few months."

"Oh right, I guess I forgot about all that time you were hiding it. And then that time you weren't hiding it, but were still holing her away. Anyway, why are you here telling me? And why so early?"

Draco sat across from her and began to explain, "We were at Potter's wedding last night and as soon as I saw Ginerva walking down the aisle, I had this flash of Hermione doing the same - toward me. And it felt...perfect. I want that. I want her to marry me. I want her to insist on hyphenating her name to Granger-Malfoy - which, in all honesty, I hate, and I know it will absolutely kill my parents. But I love her. I want to buy a house with her, I want a future with her."

Draco's speech had brought tears to Daphne's eyes. Partly because she was very happy for her friend, but also because she was jealous that she didn't have anyone who loved her like this. "That's great, Draco," she said. "But shouldn't you be telling her, and not me?"

"Well, yes, the ultimate plan is for me to tell her," he joked, "but I need your help. I want to go buy the ring today."

"Why not use the Malfoy family ring?"

"I don't want to give her a family heirloom that comes from a long line of wizards who would hate her. She deserves something that is just hers. And besides, that ring symbolizes this original life I'd planned for myself. Marrying a proper pureblood witch, moving into the Manor, and carrying on the Malfoy legacy. That's all changed now, so I think I should get a new ring."

Daphne nodded. She knew Hermione would agree with that logic. Plus, the Malfoy ring was gorgeous, but Hermione would likely think it was too large and obnoxious and hate it. "Okay, well I need to get dressed. I'll have Tippy bring in tea while you wait, then we can go."

"Daphne," she paused in the doorway and turned back to face him. "Do you think she'll say yes?"

Daphne smiled and nodded. "She'd be a fool not to, Draco. I don't think anyone has ever loved someone as much as you love her."

As Daphne got dressed, she considered Draco's question further. Would Hermione say yes? Did she really love Draco? It hurt Daphne to admit it, but Astoria had been right. There were no potions or enchantments at work, Hermione and Draco truly loved each other, and it was as simple as that.

Daphne had never, personally, encountered a love as easy as theirs. So, did that mean she hadn't found the right wizard? She'd thought Blaise was right and she loved him so desperately, but it certainly wasn't easy, and maybe it was finally time for her to let him go and make room for the right person.

* * *

_Present Time: August 2003 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

Finding a ring for Hermione proved to be a lot harder than Draco had initially planned. He'd hoped to happen upon the ring he remembered her wearing from the future while they were shopping, but they went to countless stores and he never saw it.

Daphne had been so confused and he wished he could just tell her what was going on in his head, but held back.

"Okay, Draco, I've given you a full day of my time and all my advice. Remember, nothing too large or ostentatious, and I think gold will be her favorite. The rest is up to you since it seems you're looking for something extremely specific."

She'd left him alone then, but at the next shop he'd finally had success. He had discussed what he was looking for with the owner, who had offered to make a custom ring. It had all sounded good to Draco at the time, but unfortunately had taken a full two months to make. So Draco had to sit around and wait when all he wanted to do was propose to Hermione.

Well, now he finally had the ring in his pocket (which matched perfectly the one he remembered from the future) and had a plan to ask her over lunch today. He was at the Muggle café where she'd met with his future self but she was late. He was growing annoyed, worried he wouldn't have enough time for what he'd planned.

When she finally showed up, she noticed his agitation instantly. "I'm so sorry, I can tell you're upset. I would have sent word, but, well, I couldn't have my Patronus showing up here. Do you have a meeting you need to rush off to after this?"

Draco shook his head and smiled at her. "I'm free all afternoon, you?"

"I have to be back by two, if that's okay."

Draco nodded, that would give them plenty of time. He tried to relax and enjoy the meal, but really he just wanted to get on to the next part. Once she finally finished her salad, which seemed to take her ages to eat, he rose quickly and held a hand out to her. "Why don't we stop by the park? It's a lovely day outside."

She checked her watch, predictably, then nodded back at him. A few moments later they were sitting on the bench they usually occupied, watching Muggles and inventing stories about them.

"That one," Hermione pointed to an old man walking on the path alone. "He seems lonely, but really he has a lovely weekend planned with his family. His wife passed recently, but he's got loads of grandkids to keep him company and anytime the weather is nice, he likes to come out here and think about them."

Draco rolled his eyes, then looked around for the pair of Muggles he knew should be setting up right about now. "There," he pointed to a couple near the lake once he spotted them. "That couple, I think that bloke is about to propose."

"What?" Hermione shifted closer to him so she could get a better look, then smiled over at Draco. "How could you possibly know that?"

He shrugged, "Watch." The Muggles were walking hand in hand, then when they reached the edge of the water, the man stopped and turned to face the woman. He dropped to his knee and began talking.

"Oh my God! You're right. How did you know that?"

Draco shrugged again. "So, what I think he's saying is: I love you, more than I ever thought it was possible to love anyone. Sometimes it scares me a bit how much and I lie awake at night worrying something will take you away from me. But even with that fear and uncertainty, I am absolutely certain of one thing: I want to marry you. I want to go to bed with you by my side every night and find you there every morning when I wake up."

Hermione was looking at Draco now and her expression was serious. He wondered if she'd caught on yet. He took a deep breath, then moved to a kneeling position and grabbed both of her hands before he kept talking. She hitched her breath then and her eyes were wet and he hoped they were happy tears.

"I know things with us will be hard, and there will always be those who disagree with our relationship, but I don't care. You're my only shot at happiness and I can promise you I will do anything to make you happy in return. I know you deserve so much better, but you seem to like having me around for some reason." She smiled at that.

"You told me once about that quote from _1984_ you like so much: 'Perhaps one did not want to be loved, so much as to be understood.' Well, I'm offering you both. I'll dedicate my life to understanding you Hermione: what you're thinking and feeling, what you need, what you don't need, all of it. And, of course, I'll love you the whole way. So please, marry me, and make me the happiest man alive."

He grabbed the ring from his pocket and held it out for her. Tears were streaming down her face now and she was smiling, which was a good sign, but she was still quiet. _Say something, Hermione_ , he urged in his mind, but on the outside he tried to stay patient. It was a big decision, so he shouldn't rush her.

She nodded and Draco let out a sigh of relief, but still, she hadn't said the word…

He squeezed the hand that was still holding hers and dropped his head into her lap. "Can you just say yes?" he asked, a little frustrated. She laughed and lifted his head up so he was looking at her.

"Yes! Of course. I- I- Did you plan this out with those Muggles?"

Draco laughed and put the ring on her finger, then sat back on the bench and pulled her close. "Yes, I did. That was just some random couple and I paid them to look like he was proposing to her."

"Wow, so you talked to Muggles? And paid them in Muggle money, I'm hoping."

"Of course, Hermione, I'm not completely hopeless when it comes to Muggles." In reality, he'd had Potter organize this Muggle part of the proposal, but he wasn't about to admit to that, not yet, a least.

He remembered then the part of this conversation that he'd been dreading since he'd started planning it. "It was perfect, Draco," Hermione started to speak before he had a chance. "And this ring is lovely, I adore it."

"I'm glad, I had it especially made for you, so there are no others like it," he rubbed his thumb over it, then he sighed before saying, "Hermione, I need to tell you something."

"What?" she pulled back so she could see his face.

"I'm going to time jump tomorrow, and the version of myself that comes forward will not be kind to you."

She dropped her eyes and he could tell she was remembering the last time jump. She'd been very upset by it but had tried - unsuccessfully - to hide it from him. Unfortunately, Draco knew it would only get worse.

"Okay, I understand," she said eventually.

"There's more." Draco swallowed the lump in his throat, then continued, "I'm thrilled that you just said yes, but I need to discuss some things with you before we move forward with any wedding planning. So, I'm just asking that you refrain from telling anyone until I get a chance to talk with you about all that. Potter knows, but no one else."

"Why can't we just talk now?"

"It's not going to be a very good talk, and I don't want your memory of this proposal to be ruined by it. Plus, it should probably wait until after the jump."

She nodded but he could tell she wasn't entirely satisfied with the response. She looked down at the ring, then snuggled close to him and he tightened his grip on her. "You know I used to think I was the luckiest wizard alive when I was younger. Sole heir to the Malfoy estate, unlimited gold, and set up to follow in my father's footsteps."

He looked down at Hermione and saw her rolling her eyes. He laughed. "I know, I was delusional. But I was right about one thing, I am the luckiest person alive. Not because I'm a Malfoy, but because I managed to break a time turner and get thrown into this incredible life with you."

"I feel lucky too, Draco. I love you so much, and I'm glad you broke that time turner. And until now, it's all been positive for me. You were lovely at the beginning, which makes sense since you were in love with me. And getting to know you and falling in love with you, in this time, has been incredible. But-"

She cut off and sighed and Draco clutched her tighter. "There's a price to it all, isn't there? And I guess I'm going to learn more about it soon."

Draco bent to kiss her temple, then motioned back to the Muggles in front of them. "Let's talk about this later. What about that couple there, what do you think they're saying?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yay, they're engaged! But there is definitely an ominous feeling in the background. Dun dun dun...
> 
> And as my amazing beta reader (Lancashire Witch) pointed out, it's nice that Draco's proposal is low-key and not over-the-top, like their first date was. It shows how well he's gotten to know Hermione since he was able to pick out something sweet and personal that she'd really like.
> 
> The time jump where Draco duels Hermione was in Chapter 4, if you want to read it from Draco's perspective.
> 
> Thanks for your continued support for this story. I hope everyone is having fun getting ready for a lovely (and safe) holiday season. Come visit me on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson to chat and see more content related to this story.
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Wed, Dec-9.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

_There is a particular kind of suffering to be experienced when you love something greater than yourself. A tender sacrifice._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: August 2003 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Hermione Granger **

The next day, Draco disappeared from the table while he was working and was replaced by a younger, much angrier version of himself. Hermione had resolved to be polite, hoping it would calm him. She smiled and said, "Oh, hey. How are you - ?"

But he'd cut her off and yelled, "You are a fucking bitch!" Then he'd stormed out of the flat and she didn't see him again for two days.

She'd known that was coming but hadn't expected it to hurt so much. Doubt was starting to settle in, and her mind began to run away from her as she spent the next few days alone, trying to distract herself by working, instead of thinking of Draco. But unfortunately, she could do both simultaneously.

She'd always thought that things with Draco were just...right. She'd always felt at ease with him and besides a little bit of awkwardness when they'd initially met up in her time, things had progressed rather effortlessly. But he certainly hadn't felt the same way.

He hadn't been attracted to her at all. He'd hated her. And it was becoming clearer and clearer that without the time travel, nothing would have ever happened between them.

The night before Draco returned, Harry had stopped by. "Hey, Malfoy asked me to come check on you. I heard about your news. Congratulations!"

Hermione had nodded sadly and Harry sat next to her and pulled her into a hug. "Malfoy said you'd start seeing his past self more and that he was nasty to you."

Hermione nodded.

"But he loves you now, that much is clear."

She nodded again, then took a deep breath and smiled back at Harry.

"Can I see the ring?" He was looking at her hand, but she wasn't wearing it. She'd taken it off and decided to wait until that dreaded conversation Draco wanted to have with her once he was back. He seemed to think that after he told her whatever it was he meant to say, that she'd change her mind. She'd been sure at the time that she wouldn't, but now she was less certain.

"Hermione, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Harry, really. It's just hard, the time jumping, but-" she paused to take another deep breath. "I still think he's worth it. I've never met anyone I've connected with so much. Wait here, I'll go get the ring."

And now Hermione was sitting on the couch, looking across at her Draco who was pacing the room, clearly trying to work up the courage to start whatever speech he'd planned. Crookshanks was following closely behind him as he walked, which Draco usually hated, but he hadn't seemed to notice.

She waited patiently as she watched the two of them, then opened the box of chocolates on the table next to her and picked one up and popped it in her mouth. Draco had arrived several moments ago with flowers, chocolates, and a book.

She'd piled them on the table and hadn't even opened the book. She was much more interested in what he had to say. "Okay," he started, and she looked back at him expectantly, "so this violates rule one, but I think it's necessary."

Hermione finished eating the chocolate in her mouth and sat up straighter. That's not what she'd expected him to say. "Okay, I believe you."

"So, Hermione-" He stopped, then sat on the couch next to her before continuing. "I'm not quite sure the best way to say this but - uh - there is a time in the future when we - well, _you_ \- are very unhappy."

"What?"

"I've been there many times when we're fighting so badly that I'm sleeping in the spare bedroom. Well, I always sleep there, I mean, the other Draco is staying there too. And at other times, I've found you crying uncontrollably-" he cut off and looked down at his lap. She could tell that memory was disturbing to him.

"Why are you telling me this? Do we…" she trailed off, not even wanting to put words to what she was fearing. She took a deep breath, then started her question again. "Do we split up?"

Draco's head snapped up. "No, I mean, not that I know of. Uh - to answer your question, I guess I just want to make sure you know what you're getting into. I think there are times when you'll regret being with me. But others…" he paused to sigh.

"In the first jump I took, which I think was the farthest into the future I've gone so far, you told me it was all worth it." There was something more to that story, she could see it in his eyes, but she knew better than to press him on it.

He looked away from her and back down at his lap and she sidled closer to him and thought about what he'd said. They'd have a fight so bad that she made him sleep somewhere else? She hated sleeping apart from him - a fact she'd been reminded of the past few nights. He made her feel safe and wanted and she couldn't imagine what he could possibly do to make her give up that feeling each night. And he said he'd been aware of them fighting "many times." Did that mean there was one fight that stretched over months? Or just lots of little fights?

And why was she crying uncontrollably? And based on his words, that had also happened more than once. Was it related to whatever had made future Draco look so sad last year, when he time jumped right after the Halloween Ball? Perhaps it was something that would happen anyway, regardless of whether Draco and Hermione got married. So, in that case, wouldn't it be better if they had each other for comfort?

Draco had placed his arm around her shoulders and was watching her now. She took a deep breath and asked, "Do you know why we will be fighting?"

"I think so, at least part of it."

"Do you know what will make me sad?" Hermione asked quickly, so he wouldn't expand on his previous response.

He shook his head at this and sighed. "Do you want me to tell you everything I _do_ know?"

"No. I really don't want to know." She took a deep breath, then moved so she was sitting on Draco's lap, facing him. She raised her hands to his shoulders and linked them behind his neck. "I know you're concerned, but I think we should just listen to future Hermione and try to stop worrying about things we probably can't change. She said it was worth it, and I believe her, she's very smart," she added with a smile.

"And if you don't want to listen to her, you can take cues from yourself. No matter what's going on in the future, you still chose to come back and try to woo me."

He smiled at that and gave her a small peck on the cheek. "Well, that's because I find you irresistible."

She frowned before she could stop herself and Draco's eyes turned stormy. "Hermione, tell me how you felt after I treated you so terribly a few days ago," he said seriously. "And please, be honest."

Hermione felt tears sting her eyes and she wished she could have hid them from Draco, but she could tell by the devastation on his face that he'd noticed. She lowered her head onto his shoulder and said simply, "It hurt my feelings."

He started to rub her back and she lifted her head, then added, "But it didn't change my mind about wanting to marry you. How about you? What did you do in the past? Did you find me?"

He leaned his head against the couch and looked up at the ceiling. "Yes, I found you at the café. But you kicked me out almost as soon as I sat down. You thought I didn't want to be seen being friends with a Muggleborn."

"Oh, I remember that. Sorry."

He let out a dark laugh and looked back at her. "You have absolutely no reason to be sorry. It was my fault. My past self. He was mean to you on the street, I remember. After you kicked me out, I was alone for two days and couldn't stop thinking of all the ways he could inadvertently screw things up if he did worse to you in that time."

He dropped his voice and whispered then, "I'm terrified, Hermione, that one little thing will change and I'll lose you." He did look very scared and it broke Hermione's heart. For the first time in ages she was reminded of how he'd looked in sixth year when he'd been working on his task for Voldemort. She didn't know if she should be touched or concerned that the thought of losing her was as frightening to him as Voldemort had been. She hugged him and laid her head on his shoulder again.

"Why didn't you try to sabotage us in the past?" she asked. "You hated the idea of being with me so much, but you've said you mostly lashed out at future Hermione. You never sought me out in our time. But you must have known that would be a surefire way to ruin our future."

She felt him nod, then he said, "I thought about it a lot, during this last time jump, then I remembered this." He wrapped an arm around her, then held her close as he shifted his weight and pulled something out of his pocket. It was a letter. He handed it to her, and she opened it and saw that it was written from Draco, to Draco. How odd.

"What is this?"

"I wrote this letter to myself and left it during the last time jump. I remember burning it the second I read it, the first time, but the words stayed with me. I made a copy when I wrote it yesterday so I could show it to you."

Hermione nodded and began reading.

_Draco,_

_It's me again. I know I'm not your favorite person right now. And after you read this, you're going to like me even less. But remember, I know exactly how you're feeling because three years ago I was standing right where you are now, reading this very letter._

_Well, as it turns out, you're not my favorite person either. I can handle you fucking with Hermione in my time, because she mostly understands, and I can clean up your mess when I get back. But if you continue to fuck with her in your time, I'm worried this relationship won't happen. And without her, we are nothing._

_Hermione is the answer to every question that plagues you right now._

_The unknown source of apprehension every time you consider proposing to Astoria. The detachment between you and your friends that you can't figure out how to remedy. Your hesitation in admitting to Father that you'd rather track investments then serve on boards. And the fear that no one in the world will ever truly understand you, or want to._

_She will fix it all, if you let her. You won't feel lonely or unmoored anymore. But you need to give her a fucking chance._

_I know you hate the time jumping. You feel out of control and that you're being forced toward a future you don't want. But believe me, you'll come to see this for the blessing it is, if you can get your head out of your own arse._

_I told you before and I'll tell you again: be nice to Hermione Granger._

_-Draco_

Hermione cried as she read the letter, then laughed at the last few lines. "When did you tell him to be nice to me?" She wiped the tears from her eyes and folded the letter and leaned over to place it on top of the box of chocolates on the table.

Draco shrugged. "I haven't done it yet, but in one of my first time jumps I came back to a letter in my flat. It mostly contained the logistics behind the time travel, like always having my wand and a pair of clothes on me. But at the end it said, 'Be nice to Hermione Granger.'"

"Well, you didn't listen, did you?" She tried to keep her tone light, but Draco's face fell.

"No, I didn't. And I'm so sorry. But I figured it out eventually, I'm just not as quick as you. But the letter - every word of it is true."

Hermione nodded and began massaging his neck with her hands. "When you said I was the answer to all the questions plaguing you. It was the same for me. You were my answer."

Draco smiled, then he leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes before saying. "Tell me something, Hermione. Why aren't you wearing your ring?"

"Oh, I-" she cut off, trying to find words that wouldn't alarm or upset him further. "Your initial proposal seemed...conditional on this conversation. So, I just wanted to wait. But now, I already said I haven't changed my mind, and I meant it. I'll go get it."

She moved to get up from his lap, but he kept a firm grip on her legs and picked his wand up from the table instead. "I've got it." He summoned the ring wordlessly and it floated to them from the bedroom. He caught it easily, then held it out for her.

Hermione picked it up, but before she put it on, she smirked and said, "I have one condition."

He leaned back and looked at her seriously. "What? Anything."

She smirked, "Okay, you can't order the Malfoy house elves around anymore. No more cleaning, or cooking, or ironing your shirts. I know you wait until I'm at work to summon them, but I can still tell when they've been here."

He rolled his eyes, but was smiling widely, then he pulled her into a deep kiss. She shoved the ring on her finger quickly before she dropped it, then began kissing him with as much fervor as he was kissing her. She was so glad to have him back in the present. After a few moments, she pushed him away. "Wait, so is that a yes?"

"It's a 'fine,'" he said with a smirk, then he started kissing her neck. "I'm actually surprised it took you so long to make that demand."

* * *

Later that night, Hermione was lying awake in bed while Draco slept soundly next to her. She'd thought now that he was back, she'd finally be able to sleep again, but she couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. She turned to her side to face Draco. He looked calm and peaceful, nothing like the angry wizard who had called her a bitch a few nights ago.

But he _was_ that same person, she reminded herself. Somewhere deep down was that spiteful person who hated her.

_"Tell me how you felt after I treated you so terribly a few days ago."_

_"It hurt my feelings."_

That was an understatement. But she didn't think it was worth trying to explain to this Draco. There wasn't much he could do about it now.

_I can handle you fucking with Hermione in my time, because she mostly understands, and I can clean up your mess when I get back._

Was that true? Did she understand? Draco thought he'd cleaned up the mess okay after the last time jump, the one when he'd been horrified to find her living in his flat, then dueled her. But he didn't know she'd laid awake for three days after that night, crying softly while he slept next to her unaware, like now.

_She will fix it all, if you let her. You won't feel lonely or unmoored anymore._

She was glad that Draco wasn't lonely anymore. But was that all she was for him? A companion? She'd hoped he liked _her_ and not just the company and stability she provided.

 _You're letting your thoughts run away from you, Hermione,_ she thought to herself.

She got out of bed and went for a glass of water, then she tried to read in the sitting room, glad when Crookshanks followed her and kept her company. It was hours before she managed to get back to sleep. Draco could tell something was wrong as soon as she emerged from the bathroom the next morning.

"You look tired, did you not sleep well?" he rubbed his hand along her cheek, and she turned her head to kiss his palm, though really, she just wanted to avoid his searching gaze.

"No, my mind was racing - I'm just worried about work again. I'll be fine." She grabbed her bag and her outer robe and walked past him to the fireplace. "I should get going, I'll see you tonight."

"Hermione," she paused but didn't look back at him. "I love you."

She dropped her head, then finally turned to face him. _He's not that same person,_ she thought to herself. "I love you too, Draco."

* * *

_Present Time: September 2003 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Ron Weasley **

"Where is she? She's never late," Ron asked Harry as they waited for Hermione to join them for lunch at one of her favorite restaurants.

Harry rolled his eyes. "That was before Malfoy, she's late all the time now."

"But it's just her today, so why would that matter?"

Harry blushed and looked down before saying, "I'm guessing he's just taking a long time to wish her farewell."

"Gross," Ron was horrified by the insinuation behind Harry's words.

"You have no idea," Harry looked a bit horrified himself and Ron was curious if he was thinking of something specific but knew better than to ask. It would be a shame to ruin his appetite just before lunch. Thankfully, Hermione interrupted this conversation with her arrival.

"I'm so sorry, I couldn't find my bag," she lowered herself into the seat and Harry winked at Ron, who kicked him under the table.

"What?" Hermione asked.

"Nothing," Ron said quickly. "Anyway, Happy Birthday, Hermione!" He leaned in and gave her a hug, then Harry did the same and they settled back into their chairs and started looking through the menu.

Once they'd ordered and the waitress had left them alone, Ron looked around at the private room they were in. "I didn't even know this place had a private room. Is this a perk of being a Malfoy?" Ron tried to remove all judgement from his tone, since he really was just curious.

But Hermione seemed offended anyway. "No actually," she snapped, "I used _your_ names to get this room."

Harry stomped on Ron's foot and Ron glared at him. "Right, I didn't mean anything by it-" he started, but Hermione interrupted him.

"No, I know, Ron, I'm just...nervous."

"Nervous?" Harry asked. "Why?"

"Well, you know, I don't like to use our fame to get things, but I wanted to secure a private table today because, um, well," she paused and looked down at her hands which she was using to wring her napkin.

"Just say it, Hermione," Ron pressed. "It's us."

"I'm ready to tell you both about my parents."

"Oh," both Harry and Ron said at the same time and they looked over at each other and traded concerned looks. But this was good, Ron knew, he just hadn't been prepared for it. He'd thought they'd be celebrating Hermione's birthday over a fun lunch. Maybe he should send a Patronus to Parvati, telling her he'd be awhile, so she wouldn't worry when his lunch stretched to four hours.

"Uh, okay," Harry said tentatively, "but we can wait until we eat, if you want."

Hermione shook her head and Ron knew what she was going to say before she said it. "If I don't get on with it now, I'll just fret until I do. So, I guess I should start at the beginning..."

Hermione talked for a solid hour. She only stopped when the waitress came with their food, but no one touched their plates. Harry and Ron were listening attentively, and Hermione was surprisingly calm as she explained the complete deterioration of her relationship with her parents. It was clear she'd told this story before, and Ron knew who she'd told first and felt a small pang in his chest as the thought of that.

When she was finished, they were all silent and Hermione cast a warming charm on her plate and started to eat her pasta. "You can eat," she said then, motioning toward Harry and Ron's plates. Then she cast warming charms on them, as if that was the reason they weren't eating.

"Hermione, you should have told me," Ron said. "I had no idea you were going through all that. I knew you were down after the holidays, but I never imagined…" she waved him away.

"Please, Ron, you were any excellent boyfriend and are an even better friend. I wasn't ready to tell you, but that had everything to do with me and nothing to do with you. And the same goes for you, Harry."

Harry was looking at her sadly, then he nodded and started in on his own food. Ron had no idea how those two could be eating at a time like this. When he thought about what Hermione's mum had said when she told them about Malfoy, about her being corrupted by magic, he wanted to be sick. But Hermione seemed determined to move past it, so Ron tried to act normal.

"I'm glad you told us, Hermione," Harry said eventually. "And keep telling us how it progresses, please."

She smiled back at him and nodded, "I will. Draco insists on coming to Australia with me this Christmas, so I'm sure I'll need a good bit of support when I get back from that inevitable disaster." She laughed darkly and Ron felt a little sick again. Poor Hermione. He wondered which was worse, having your parents killed, like Harry, or having them very much alive, but hating you. He was so lucky to have his mum and dad.

"Why does Malfoy want to go to Australia?" Harry asked.

"Oh, well, he said a lot of my mum's harshness toward me was really harshness she felt toward him, and that it's not fair for me to take the brunt of it. He said he should take it himself."

That was actually a very decent thing for Malfoy to say and Ron was a little surprised. He'd always assumed Malfoy was a coward, but facing Hermione's mum like that would certainly require a good bit of bravery. And he'd also gotten Hermione to open up about this whole thing. Ron hated to admit it, but Malfoy actually did seem to be good for her.

They moved on to talking about their weddings then. Ron and Parvati were going to be married shortly after Christmas, since Parvati loved the snow and always wanted a winter wedding, and Hermione was going to be married a few months after them in April, but hadn't picked the location yet.

"It will definitely be abroad somewhere," Hermione was saying. "I don't want any unwanted visitors popping in, which I think would be more likely if it was local. I mean, with my parents and his, we'll already have enough people who hate the union in attendance."

"How is Lucius taking all this?" Harry asked then and Ron perked up, interested to hear her response. He'd nearly forgotten about Lucius. But he remembered then that he worked with Hermione.

"Not well," she said coldly.

"Are you still working together?" Ron asked.

"That's a stretch, but in theory, yes, we are supposed to be working together to find laws that best serve the needs and wishes of the Sacred Twenty-eight." Her words were dripping with sarcasm, as if the last thing she cared about were the needs and wishes of the Sacred Twenty-eight.

"I wasn't there when Draco told him we're engaged, but the first time I saw Lucius after that, his gaze went right to the ring on my finger and then he looked like he wanted to murder me."

Both Ron and Harry jumped at that. Lucius murdering Hermione wasn't entirely outside the realm of possibility. She placed a comforting hand on both of their arms and chuckled to herself. "Easy, boys, I forget you two are Aurors sometimes. He's not going to hurt me, Draco and I are certain of that."

"How can you be so sure?" Harry asked and Ron was glad he did, since that was going to be his next question.

She lowered her voice and gave Harry a knowing look, "We've heard from a reliable source that he means us no harm." This seemed to mean something to Harry and he gave her a curt nod, but Ron had no idea what was going on.

"Anyway," Hermione continued, "I guess excessive hatred does not technically qualify as harm, but it is still extremely annoying and adds a lot of unnecessary stress to my job."

She rushed to change the subject and Ron tried to catch Harry's eye, but he was looking away. After a few moments, Ron realized Harry was purposely avoiding his gaze.

There was one more odd interaction between Hermione and Harry before the end of lunch. It was as they were getting up to leave. Hermione turned to Harry and said, "I've been meaning to ask, do you still have that photo you took of me and Draco in the Ministry Archives?"

Harry thought about it, then nodded, "Yeah, I know where it is, do you want to come get it now?"

"That would be great. I'm putting together a photo album of our relationship. Draco said it would be important later when he-" she cut off when she saw Ron and blushed. Then Harry looked away from Ron and started studying the window as if it were very interesting. Ron went over her words. What did Malfoy think the photo album would be important for? Is that what she and Harry were talking about?

Ron was annoyed, Harry and Hermione obviously were in on some joint secret together. He wasn't entirely surprised Hermione had decided to keep this secret from him, since they weren't very close anymore. But he'd thought he could count on Harry to tell him what was going on.

"What are you two hiding?" he asked then. He was studying Harry's expression and knew immediately that he was guilty. Ron had stopped being able to read Hermione ages ago, but Harry, he knew almost as well as himself.

"It's nothing, Ron," Hermione said quickly. Harry was looking back out the window.

"Nothing? Really? I think it's related to that mysterious project of Malfoy's. The secret research. And probably also the reason Harry insisted on taking the Malfoy case from Dawlish a few years ago. And I'm guessing Harry knows exactly who that 'reliable source' you mentioned earlier is."

Both Harry and Hermione were looking at Ron, shocked. "Even now, anytime I'm clever it's met with surprise," Ron grumbled.

Harry looked back at him guiltily, then looked at Hermione. It was clear that whatever secret they had was Hermione's and that Harry wasn't going to give it up without her permission. She shook her head at Harry almost imperceptibly, then looked over at Ron.

"You're right, Ron, and I'm not surprised, I know you're clever. Otherwise, you'd never have made it as an Auror. But I can't tell you the secret, it's not mine to tell. But I'm fine, I promise. There's no danger."

Ron looked at Harry for confirmation and Harry nodded back at him.

"So why does Harry know?"

"Draco told him," Hermione said simply.

Ron frowned. He'd noticed Harry and Malfoy becoming something close to friends, but if he also confided in Harry about whatever this secret was, then they were closer than Ron had realized. It was one thing losing Hermione to that git, but was he going to lose Harry too?

"I don't like it," Ron said eventually.

Hermione placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and sighed. "I know, Ron, and I'm sorry I can't say more. But I'm sure it will all come out one day. Anyway, thank you so much for hearing me out today. Both of you," she reached out for Harry's hand then. "I know it wasn't the celebratory lunch you were expecting."

"Anytime, Hermione," Ron said as he leaned in to place a kiss on her cheek. "And Happy Birthday."

She nodded at him and her eyes looked a little sad and he knew what he could say to erase that look from her face, but he hesitated.

Ron knew it was important to her that he approve of Malfoy, and he understood the feeling. It was important to him that his friends like Parvati, but Parvati wasn't a Death Eater, or a Slytherin, or a prat, so that hadn't been a big issue. But Hermione had been supportive of Parvati from the start, even though Ron knew she'd never really liked her. He owed her this, he knew, so he added, "And also, I'm happy for you and Malfoy, truly."

Her eyes brightened. "Really, Ron?"

He nodded and was surprised to find that he was completely sincere. Whatever weird thing she was hiding about Malfoy was probably inconsequential, and it was a good sign that Harry didn't seem very worried about it. It was clear Malfoy was the right wizard for her and he was glad she'd found someone that made her so happy. She really deserved it. They all did.

* * *

_Present Time: October 2003 / Draco's Time: April 2004_

* * *

** Hermione Granger **

Draco's next time jump was unexpected, so Hermione figured he'd gone to the future. This theory was confirmed when the other Malfoy said he was traveling from 2004, but he never specified the month.

He was wearing the nicest dress robes she'd ever seen on him and looked extremely agitated. "Where did you come from?" she asked.

He simply shook his head, then said insistently, "I need to see Theo."

"Oh, well that's convenient. We're seeing him tonight at your mother's Halloween Ball."

He gave her a curt nod. "Okay, how long until we leave?"

She checked her watch. "Three hours."

He nodded again, "Right. That should be fine."

"Can you tell me what's going on?"

Her question seemed to snap him out of whatever was distracting him, and he crossed the room in just a few paces and cupped her face in his hands. His eyes were sad, and he leaned his forehead against hers. It was so reminiscent of the other time his future self had done this almost exactly a year ago that she hitched her breath in surprise, but he didn't seem to notice.

"I should tell you, I really really should. But I'm a coward," he said in a shaky voice.

"It's fine, Draco, we're not supposed to talk about the future, right? But - tell your Hermione, okay?"

He leaned back and looked intently in her eyes. "I will. I promise." Then his face softened, and he added, "I love you."

Hermione was relieved. She was worried his bad mood had something to do with her, but it seemed to be unrelated. "I love you too," she responded and she noticed him using Occlumency then and grew concerned. What was going on in this Draco's time? Her Draco was there now, would he know anything about it?

They passed the afternoon watching the telly, but Draco was extremely distracted and she noticed him using Occlumency a few more times, but didn't press him on it. When it was time to start getting ready, Draco was finished in record time, then hovered around Hermione while she got dressed, obviously in a big rush to get to the ball.

Eventually, she lost her temper and pushed him into the hall, "Give me ten minutes alone and I promise I'll be ready. But you're making me incredibly nervous glaring at me like that."

"It's very important that I see Theo before I go back to my time."

"I understand that, but he's always late to these things anyway. Go make yourself a drink and try to relax, I promise we'll leave in ten minutes." Then she'd slammed the door and taken a deep breath. She needed to relax too. This Draco's anxiety was rubbing off on her. She tried not to focus too much on it, but it was concerning, since Draco was rarely anxious.

As soon as they arrived at Malfoy Manor, exactly ten and a half minutes later, Draco disappeared to look for Theo. Hermione sighed, then went to find Daphne.

"Where's your fiancé?"

Hermione shrugged. "He needed to talk to Theo about something."

"Hmm," was all Daphne said. This was something Hermione loved about Daphne. She never pried, not like her other friends. The second Harry or Ron picked up on any type of secret, they pestered her to death until she'd usually grow tired and finally own up to it.

Not Daphne, or any of the Slytherins, really. They all thought it was completely acceptable for people to have secrets (even from their closest friends) and considered it impertinent to pry into others' lives. In this way, Hermione thought they were better than Gryffindors. But really, in all other ways, Gryffindors were superior, obviously.

Just then Theo showed up. "Has Draco found you yet?" Hermione asked him.

"Hello to you too," he said bitterly, as if he truly cared about proper greetings.

"Right, hello. Has Draco found you?" she repeated. She began scanning the room for him but the only shock of blonde hair she saw belonged to Lucius.

Theo shrugged. He was distracted, she could tell. She followed his gaze to the other side of the room and saw Astoria with her new husband and some older Slytherins Hermione vaguely recognized from school.

"I'm going out for some fresh air," Theo mumbled, then he left the ballroom quickly.

"What was that about?" Hermione asked Daphne.

"I've told you countless times, Hermione, it's not polite to pry. If he wants to tell us, he will." Hermione rolled her eyes, but remembered that just moments ago she was thinking how much she liked this quality in Daphne.

"You're right. Anyway, tell me what you've been up to. I feel like I haven't seen you in ages."

"Well, whose fault is that?" Daphne snapped back. "I don't have a job, or a boyfriend, or hundreds of other friends. So, if we haven't seen each other in 'ages,' as you claim. I think we know which of the two of us is to blame."

Hermione rolled her eyes again. "Wow, you are in a terrible mood tonight. What happened? I mean, if you'll allow me to pry, that is," she added sarcastically.

About an hour later, Draco finally returned to Hermione's side and she was happy to note he was in much better spirits. He pulled her to the dance floor and finally complimented her gown.

"Are you feeling better after seeing Theo?" she asked.

"What?" He looked confused.

"Theo. Did you see him?"

"Yes, I believe I saw him across the hall," he responded vaguely. She was about to press him further when he pulled her in for a kiss.

"Draco! No. We have an agreement not to kiss the other version of ourselves," she pushed him away and stepped back, alarmed.

He just shrugged and smirked at her. "Oh, right. We break that on occasion."

"We do? Well, it must be your fault then, because I have no intention of breaking it myself."

He pulled her back into his arms. "It's most definitely my fault. I've told you before, I find you irresistible, Hermione. Plus, I can guarantee your Draco is breaking your little agreement right now." He bent to place a kiss on her neck, then he nipped her earlobe and whispered, "I remember."

Hermione felt a shiver run down her spine. "Wait, where exactly did you come from again?"

He was wearing a devilish grin now and this time when he leaned in to kiss Hermione, she didn't push him away. She also found him irresistible at times. Draco was in an uncharacteristically playful mood for the rest of the night. He usually wasn't so affectionate with her when his parents were present, but he could barely keep his hands off her.

He reminded her of how he was at Harry's wedding. He'd explained later that that was the night he'd decided to propose to her and she wondered what was behind his good mood now. She figured whatever conversation he'd had with Theo had gone well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hmm, what is going on? Luckily, we'll get to see this Halloween Ball from Theo's perspective in the next chapter (which will be posted Fri, Dec-11).
> 
> Thank you to my beta reader, Lancashire Witch, who helps me (as she put it so well when editing this chapter) "capture the complex nature of humans."
> 
> The other sides of the time jump in this chapter were in the last two scenes of Chapter 5, if you want to read them from the other person's perspective. The support for this story so far has been amazing, thank you so much for every comment, review, kudos, favorite, and follow! You can find me over at Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson for more content related to this story.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

_Once when I was running,_

_from all that haunted me;_

_to the dark I was succumbing –_

_to what hurt unbearably._

_Searching for the one thing,_

_that would set my sad soul free._

_In time I stumbled upon it,_

_and inner calm and peace,_

_and now I am beginning,_

_to see and to believe,_

_in who I am becoming –_

_and all I have yet to be._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: October 2003 / Draco's Time: April 2004_

* * *

** Theo Nott **

Theo spotted Hermione and Daphne soon after he entered the main ballroom at Malfoy Manor. They were standing apart from the rest of the crowd, but it wasn't clear if they were initiating the distance or if it was caused by everyone around them - though Theo had a guess.

These purebloods were fucking ridiculous. Hermione was one of the best people he'd ever met and these idiots would never know it since they refused to look past her "inferior" blood status.

Theo had always secretly admired Hermione's intellect and unwavering bravery in school, but it wasn't until the night she made them play that stupid drinking game that he fell in love with her. (In a platonic way, of course. He was still gay, after all).

She'd pulled him aside that night and said, "You look like you need a hug."

He'd told her to sod off, but she'd ignored him. "I know it's hard to open up, and I apologize for forcing you into it with the game, but – well – I was just trying to help. And I think it's good to see that you're not the only one struggling to move past the war. Like your round when you said you haven't gotten over the nightmares – now you know you're not the only one."

Theo had stayed quiet, unsure what she was expecting him to say to that. "So, I'm going to hug you now." When Theo didn't protest, she did it. It was awkward, but sort of nice, too. Though Theo didn't admit that to her.

But more than her words and short hug, which were shockingly kind from someone he'd been mean to in school, was the way she'd looked at him like she actually saw him. And that was all it took to get him to love her. Some caring words, a brief hug, and eye contact. How pathetic was he?

After that night, it was clear to Theo why Draco had thrown away everything he'd been raised to believe to be with Hermione. Though Theo still had his doubts about them as a couple. They refused to properly explain how they'd gotten together, and Theo hadn't forgotten the injury she'd tried to hide from him a few months ago.

He'd seen her unmistakable limp and the flash of fear on her face when he'd asked if Draco had hurt her. And he'd received enough stinging hexes from Draco over the years to recognize his work. It was one of his signature spells. But why the hell had he hexed Hermione? He usually seemed so protective of her.

Draco didn't deserve her and even Draco knew that, he'd said it himself. But for some reason, he was the wizard she wanted, and in Theo's opinion, she deserved to have whoever she wanted. So, Theo was okay with the two of them, mostly, though he still watched them carefully.

And every so often, he'd catch a glimpse of something in her eye when she looked at Draco. Like a flash of worry, or doubt. But so far there wasn't anything worth acting on, not yet.

Theo looked around for Draco when he noticed he wasn't with the girls. It wasn't like him to leave Hermione alone, especially in hostile territory like this. Once Theo reached them, Hermione beamed, but her expression switched quickly to one of concern. "Has Draco found you yet?"

"Hello to you too," he replied bitterly.

"Right, hello," she said with a smile before repeating her original question. "Has Draco found you?"

Theo shrugged, then his eye caught a familiar face at the other end of the ballroom. Shit, it was that sandy-haired bloke he'd snogged ages ago at the Green Dragon. He never expected to see him again, but if he was here...was he a pureblood? Had he recognized Theo? Had he told anyone?

The bloke was in a group with some older Slytherins as well as Astoria and her new husband. Shit, this was not good. Theo wasn't extremely well known, but as the sole heir of one of the more prestigious families, he also wasn't unknown. And this bloke could cause a lot of trouble for him, if he wanted to.

Just then, the wizard in question turned to look right at Theo, then winked before continuing the conversation he was having with Marcus Flint and Graham Montague. "I'm going out for some fresh air," Theo mumbled before rushing out of the ballroom.

As soon as Theo got outside, he leaned against the wall of the courtyard and began smoking one of those Muggle cigarettes Blaise was so fond of. He didn't know why he still had one on him, but was glad he did because after just a few puffs he immediately felt calmer. But the peace offered by the cigarette didn't last long since after a few minutes, the sandy-haired bloke appeared a few feet away from Theo.

Theo stayed still and took another puff. Maybe if he didn't say anything, he would go away. No luck though; the man leaned against the wall next to Theo instead.

They were both silent for a long time, then Theo realized the wizard was waiting for him to say something. He tossed the cigarette on the ground and vanished it with his wand. Then he turned to the wizard and said with as much menace in his voice as possible, "Absolutely no one can know I'm gay."

The guy shrugged and Theo could tell by the hint of fear in his eyes than he didn't want anyone to know he was gay either. Well that was good, he thought. A few seconds later they were snogging again. And the release Theo felt was infinitely better than any he got from a fucking cigarette. Unfortunately, it was short-lived.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I need to talk to you, Theo."

Theo recognized the voice instantly and jumped out of the sandy-haired wizard's arms.

"Fuck," Theo swore under his breath and the wizard (he really should get his name) ran back inside.

"Sorry, but you can find him again later. Can we talk?" Draco asked. He didn't look surprised. If Theo had to guess, he'd say Draco already knew he was gay, though he had no idea how he could possibly know. He trusted Blaise had never told him. Had he seen Theo kiss this bloke at the Green Dragon?

"You're not going to lecture me about being gay?"

Draco waved him off. "No. If you want to be gay, go for it. I'm with a Muggleborn, Hermione is with a Death Eater, Daphne is obsessed with Blaise - who barely gives her the time of day. And Blaise is...Blaise. We all have our thing. Anyway, I need a favor."

Theo realized his mouth was hanging open, so he closed it and motioned for Draco to continue. He pulled out a letter and handed it to Theo. Theo could tell as soon as he touched it that it was sealed with magic. "What is this?"

"Hang on to this for me and bring it to my wedding in a few months."

"Okay…" Theo looked down at the envelope, confused. "Why don't you bring it?"

"It's got to be you," Draco said simply. "It's spelled to open only for Hermione. Give it to her on our wedding day."

"Why can't you just tell her whatever is in this letter, right now?"

Draco sighed in frustration and snapped, "Because she's not my-" he cut off and sighed. "I just can't, okay?"

"You're not making any sense. She's not your what?"

He ignored the question. "Can you just do this? Make sure she gets that before we get married, it's very important. Oh - and don't bring this conversation up to me again."

"What the fuck is going on?"

"Do this for me and I'll keep your secret. Deal?" Draco's tone had turned threatening and Theo narrowed his eyes at him.

"Fine. I'll do it."

Draco's eyes softened and he let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks. I should head back." And before Theo could say another word, he'd gone back inside.

Theo looked at the letter one more time before shoving it into his robes and following Draco. On his way back to the ballroom he saw Draco and Lucius talking in a dark corridor and shoved himself against the wall so he wouldn't be seen. He couldn't hear what they were saying since it seemed like they'd cast a silencing charm, but he could see them clearly.

They seemed to be arguing about something because they both looked very upset. But then Lucius sighed and placed a hand on Draco and instead of brushing him off, Draco put his head on his father's shoulder. Lucius pulled him into an embrace. What the hell? Were they finally making up? Had Lucius decided to accept Hermione as his daughter-in-law?

Draco straightened and Theo saw him say something, then Lucius seemed to be pleading with him, but Draco turned away quickly and went back to the ballroom.

* * *

_Present Time: November 2003 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Hermione Granger **

"Why are you upset?" Draco asked as he took a seat on the bed next to Hermione. He'd just returned from a time jump to the future and he was smiling almost giddily.

She sat up and crossed her arms. "I heard you broke our agreement."

"What agreement?"

"Don't play dumb. The one we made not to kiss the person from the other time."

"Oh, right." Draco leaned back on his heels and tried to frown, but she could see his smile breaking through underneath.

Hermione furrowed her brow. "What's going on with you? You're very smiley, when you should be sorry for essentially cheating on me and breaking a promise you made me."

Draco rolled his eyes, then pinned her down and started tickling her. "Draco!"

"Come on," he said in between her bouts of laughter, "That does not count as cheating, and you know it."

She managed to push him off with a shield charm, then backed away and crossed her arms. But every time she tried to pout she couldn't keep it up since his goofy smile was contagious. "What is going on with you? What happened in the future?"

"I can't tell you - it falls squarely within the scope of rule one. But I can promise you'll see soon enough," he added with a radiant smile.

"Well, tell me what time you went to then and I'll see if I can guess."

"No."

Hermione rolled her eyes again, then reminded herself that he was just sticking to the rule she'd set for him. She really didn't want to know details about their future. He crept toward her, slowly, and pressed a soft kiss on her neck. When she didn't protest, he moved up to her cheek. But before he could kiss her mouth, she sucked her lips in and bit down on them so there was nothing for him to kiss. He laughed.

"Come on...I missed you."

"Did you see Theo in the future?" she asked.

Draco leaned back, clearly caught off guard by the question. "Yeah, I saw him. Why do you…? Oh shit. I almost forgot."

"What?"

"When I time jumped to the future, I appeared right in front of him."

"How did you forget that?"

Draco averted her gaze and said defensively, "There was a lot going on."

"Like what?"

"Nice try," he smirked and kissed her quickly on the cheek.

"Hmm, maybe that's why you wanted to find him then," she said more to herself than to Draco.

"I wanted to find him?"

Hermione nodded. "Your future self was very insistent about talking to him. If he had disappeared right in front of Theo's eyes in the future, maybe that was why? And maybe that was why he was so agitated too. Whatever it was he needed to tell him, he seemed to feel a lot better after they talked. Do you think we should go talk to Theo and see what the other Draco told him?"

"I don't know. It's probably better to just wait and see if he comes to find us. Eventually, the future Draco and Hermione from the time I just visited will have to tell him about all this, but we're not really sure what the Theo in our time knows."

"Why didn't you leave the room when you felt the time jump coming?"

"No idea, I time jumped from here, remember? That was future Draco who didn't hide from Theo," he reminded her. Then he crawled back to her side of the bed and she could tell by his look that he was finished with this conversation. "Can I kiss you now?"

"I'm still angry."

"I know," he smirked. "You're always cross with me about something, that's why the sex is so good."

She hit him but he just smiled wider. "No need for foreplay, I'm already turned on."

She rolled her eyes. "You're so vulgar. You spend too much time with Blaise."

"When Blaise says it, it's vulgar. But coming from me, it's sexy." He was back at her side and shot her a roguish grin.

"No, it's not," she replied, but was having a hard time stopping a smile from creeping on to her face. He noticed, of course.

He pulled one of the straps of her camisole down and kissed her bare shoulder blade. "I may have given the other Hermione a small kiss or two, but I certainly didn't do this."

Then he pulled the strap on the other side down and kissed that shoulder. "Or this."

When she didn't push him away, he snaked his hands under her top and was about to pull it off, but stopped and looked at her with a raised eyebrow, clearly waiting for her permission.

She stared back at him and stayed silent.

"Please?"

"Fine," she bit out before leaning in to kiss him. She had missed him, after all, and she could further scold him for breaking their promise later.

* * *

** Daphne Greengrass **

Daphne, Ginny, and Hermione were wedding dress shopping and Hermione was showing them magazine clippings of the dresses she wanted her bridesmaids to wear. In Ginny's case, maybe 'matron of honor' was the right word, but Daphne knew better than to ask for clarification.

"Do I really have to be in this wedding?" Ginny asked. "By then I'll be as large as a dragon and you're going to make me stand up there, next to her?" she pointed at Daphne.

"It's not about you, Ginny," Daphne snapped before Hermione could respond. "No one will be looking at you anyway, even though you're a famous Quidditch player and carrying Harry Potter's baby and all that," she added sarcastically.

Ginny started to argue but Daphne kept talking. "This day is about Hermione and our job as bridesmaids is to make her look incredible. So, it'll probably be good for you to look a little less than perfect."

"How are you friends with her?" Ginny asked Hermione, but Hermione was smirking, though she dropped it when she saw Ginny's expression.

"She'll grow on you. Anyway, thanks, Daphne. And yes, Ginny, you still have to be in the wedding. I'll only let you out of it if you have that baby before then. But even then, I'll expect you to attend."

Daphne wanted to applaud, but knew better so she kept her face blank, then turned to the dresses they'd picked out for Hermione to try on earlier. "Okay, can we get on with this then?"

Ginny was still glaring at her, but Daphne didn't care. She was used to it. Other witches typically didn't like her. Before Hermione, she had only ever been friends with boys, except for Astoria, though she didn't think sisters counted.

"Can someone help me?" Hermione called from the dressing room a few moments later.

"I've got it," Daphne rose quickly, eager to escape Ginny's harsh glares.

"Are you sure?" Hermione said from the other side of the curtain. "Maybe it should be Ginny. I'm practically naked in here. I only wore a thong today like you suggested."

Daphne rolled her eyes. "It can't be worse than what I saw last week."

She heard Hermione groan and smirked to herself before entering the changing room. When Daphne returned to the sofa, Ginny asked, "What did you see last week?"

"Oh, I caught her and Draco shagging. We were meeting at Theo's for drinks and I arrived early and used Hermione's nifty spell to see if there was anyone else there. Well, they were there all right; shagging in the library. I should have known better. They were probably fulfilling some fantasy of Hermione's to have sex surrounded by-"

"That's enough," Ginny cut her off.

"-books," Daphne finished with a smile. She wouldn't normally go on like that, she was raised better. But she liked how Ginny's color darkened with each subsequent word and was wondering if she could get her to turn maroon.

"Champagne?" one of the saleswomen interrupted them and Daphne grabbed a glass from the tray and downed it in one gulp. It refilled magically. She'd need some help if she was going to survive the afternoon with Ginny. She could tell the redhead was regretting being pregnant in that moment, since it was clear she was thinking the same thing.

"Be careful, Ginny," Hermione said as she exited the fitting room in a puffy white ball gown. "When Daphne gets drunk, she confesses all her secrets."

"Noted," Ginny mumbled to herself while Daphne said, "Here's a secret for you, Hermione. That dress is hideous, go try on another one."

Hermione stuck her tongue out but didn't argue and went back to the dressing room.

"I'm glad you said it," Ginny said in an undertone, "that was one of the ones she picked out."

"Hermione has awful taste in clothes," Daphne responded. "And men, for that matter. But at least she's happy."

Daphne could tell Ginny was about to argue. Maybe she wanted to point out how Hermione had dated her brother. But she seemed to realize that was a point in favor of Daphne's argument and closed her mouth.

"I heard that, Daphne," Hermione yelled from behind the curtain. "Who are you to judge others' taste in men?"

"Shut your mouth."

"What? Are you with someone?" Ginny asked Daphne.

"That's none of your business," Daphne snapped.

"Just keep her drinking, Ginny, then she'll tell you," Hermione's voice came from behind the curtain again and Daphne scowled, but also took another sip of champagne.

* * *

** Ginny Potter **

Ginny was having a surprisingly good time. They hadn't had any luck finding Hermione's dress so far, but she'd been getting to know Daphne and was starting to see why Hermione liked her. She was blunt, which was initially off-putting, but Ginny was starting to see its merits. At least you always knew where you stood with Daphne and it made for some very interesting conversation.

And after two glasses of champagne, she finally opened up about the mystery wizard in her life, who turned out to be Blaise Zabini. The whole situation with Blaise all sounded very pathetic to Ginny, but she didn't say so. An outsider could have said the same about her and Harry at some point. No one really knew what was going on in a relationship besides the people in it.

"Does he know you love him?" Ginny asked. This point hadn't been explained well. It sounded like all their friends knew, but maybe he was clueless.

"How could he not?" Daphne sighed.

Hermione cut in, "He's an idiot. He may not know. You need to talk to him and tell him what you want. Then give him an ultimatum. I know guys hate that word, but it's deserved in this case."

"Maybe," she said noncommittally.

When Hermione went to try on her last dress (one of the ones Daphne had picked out), Ginny turned to Daphne, ready to test Hermione's theory about Daphne spilling her secrets after a few glasses of champagne. "I've been meaning to ask you something."

"Hmm?"

"Why did you befriend Hermione so quickly? I know you wanted to get along for Malfoy's sake, but why hang out alone, organize her closet, take her shopping, meet for lunch…? It seemed like a bit much."

"I needed to see if she was slipping him love potions. I was sure there was no way Draco could love her so much without some type of enchantment at play." Her eyes widened in shock and she threw her hand over her mouth just as Hermione came out wearing a gorgeous, ivory gown.

"What?" Hermione asked.

Ginny, who had been glaring at Daphne, looked over at Hermione and started when she saw her dress. "Wow. You look incredible. I think that's the one."

"Really?" Hermione turned back to the mirror and Ginny could tell by the smile on her face that she was envisioning herself standing next to Malfoy in that dress. Ginny was sure then that this was the dress she'd decide to buy, and it was a good thing Malfoy was rich since it looked very expensive.

Though knowing Hermione, she'd probably agonize over the decision for weeks before finally purchasing it. Maybe Daphne could help push her. Ginny looked over at Daphne then, but she wasn't watching Hermione, she was looking worriedly back at Ginny and trying to mouth something to her.

"What do you think, Daphne?" Hermione asked.

Daphne straightened in her seat and finally looked over at Hermione. She scanned her appearance quickly before saying, "I picked it, so obviously I like it."

"Will Draco like it?" Hermione asked. Ginny could tell she was embarrassed by the question, probably because it went against her feminist instincts.

"You could wear a bag and he'd like it," Daphne said quickly. "But yes, I think he'll love that dress and find you very shaggable."

"Gross," Ginny cringed.

Hermione studied her appearance for a few more moments while Daphne continued to eye Ginny warily, then once Hermione went back into the dressing room, Ginny scowled at Daphne and the blonde witch leaned over and started whispering rapidly.

"You can't tell her, please. I love her, I do. I realized quickly I was wrong. It was just-" she cut off and Ginny leaned in closer to hear her better. She was having trouble following since Daphne was speaking quickly and slurring her words a little.

"I was hurt and thought that if Draco could love someone like that, without magic, then Blaise could too and - well it made sense when Astoria said it, I can get her to explain to you if-"

"It's fine, Daphne." Ginny placed a comforting hand on her leg, mostly to get Daphne to calm down. Daphne looked down at Ginny's hand, then promptly picked it up and removed it from her leg.

Ginny rolled her eyes, then Daphne seemed to realize she'd just insulted someone she was asking a favor from and tried to grab Ginny's hand back, but Ginny leaned away from her.

"Promise you won't tell her, please. I'm not like you. I don't have tons of other friends. I love her and Draco. And if he finds out…" She trailed off and Ginny's chest clenched when she saw the look of desperation in her pale, green eyes.

"Fine," Ginny sighed. "I won't tell her."

"Really? Why not?" she looked back at Ginny suspiciously, like she was waiting for her to set her terms for blackmail or something.

"It would hurt her. And I believe you. But you can't do anything like this again," she added.

Daphne studied her for a while longer, then she nodded and turned away. Ginny thought after all that Daphne would be finished drinking, but the stress of her accidental confession just seemed to make her want to drink more and by the end of their appointment 30 minutes later, she was completely drunk.

As Hermione helped Daphne to the Floo, she glared at Ginny every so often.

"Don't look at me like that, I'm not her chaperone." Ginny whispered defensively.

"What happened? She rarely drinks like this. Was she upset about something?"

Ginny shrugged, then both witches looked back at Daphne who had grabbed a pile of Floo powder and thrown it into the fireplace.

"Zabini residence," she said before disappearing into the green flames.

"Maybe that's why she was drinking so much," Hermione said. Ginny nodded along, acting dumb.

"Uh, should we go after her?" Ginny asked.

Hermione nodded and threw a pile of Floo powder into the flames and repeated the destination Daphne had given. But instead of walking into the flames, she popped her head in for a few seconds, then came back out and stood up. "Blaise is there. He'll take care of her."

"The same Blaise who you said treats her like shite?" Ginny asked skeptically.

"He's not a good boyfriend, but he's an okay friend. And maybe now that she's wasted, she'll finally have the courage to tell him how she feels."

* * *

** Blaise Zabini **

Blaise was reading the Prophet in the sitting room of his mother's flat when Daphne stumbled out of the fireplace and nearly fell on her face in the middle of the room. He rushed to her side and pulled her back up to standing.

"Are you drunk?" he asked, though he already knew the answer. He could smell the alcohol on her.

"Yes," she said absently.

"It's two o-clock in the afternoon," he pointed out.

"There was a lot of champagne," she responded. Blaise smirked. Daphne loved champagne, everyone knew that. But they also knew she couldn't handle any more than two glasses. Who had she been with?

"Where was this champagne?" Blaise strained his ears for signs of his mother, but he was pretty sure she'd gone out. That was good.

"It's irreverent," she sighed.

"Irrelevant," he corrected. But she just shrugged.

"Uh, not to be rude," she snorted when he said that and he rolled his eyes, "but why are you here? Do you want me to help you back to your house?"

She turned to face him. "I need to talk to you."

"Okay, but take a seat first, before you fall over." He steered her toward the couch and gently pushed her into a sitting position before taking the spot next to her.

"You've been punishing me since that stupid drinking game and all because I slept with Draco when I was fifteen!" Blaise's eyes widened in shock. That was not what he was expecting her to say.

"Who cares?" she continued. "Draco doesn't. Hermione doesn't. I don't. Just you!" she shoved her finger at his chest and Blaise leaned away from it, unsure what to say. But she didn't seem to need him for this conversation.

"And why is that, Blaise? Why?"

He opened his mouth to speak, unsure what was going to come out, but she kept right on talking so he closed it again quickly.

"I love you. And I have for years. And I think I've made that very obvious, but you continued to sleep around right in front of me anyway. Then you had the nerve to be cross with me for daring to sleep with Draco in the past. Well, I'm not putting up with it anymore!"

She paused to take a breath, then continued her monologue. "Astoria has been trying to set me up with some friend of Edmund's for months and I've been brushing her off, but I'm going to owl her tomorrow and tell her my answer is yes. I'm sick of waiting around for you."

She looked away from Blaise then and stared into the fire and he wondered what she was thinking. Was she waiting for his rebuttal? Was there anything he could say to change her mind? And if there was, would he even say it?

He conjured a glass of water and handed it to her, and she took it without looking away from the fire. "Is that it?" he asked lamely. She nodded and started sipping her water.

"I think you're hanging around Hermione too much. That was a very Gryffindor-esque speech," he said bitterly.

"It needed to be said." She turned to look at him and her unfocused gaze cleared for a moment. "I'm done, Blaise. Really."

Then she leaned forward and he thought she was going to embrace him, but at the last moment she dropped her head and began vomiting violently on the rug. He grabbed her water glass before she dropped it, then scooted closer to her and started rubbing her back, using his wand to vanish the sick every few seconds.

When she was finally done, he gave her the water back and she drained it quickly, then leaned against his side and muttered, "I have a feeling I'm going to be extremely embarrassed by this tomorrow. But now, I'm finding it hard to care."

Blaise sighed. "I know the feeling, Daphne. You're fine, come on." He pulled her to her feet, then tried to walk her across the room, but she was like a dead weight. He ended up picking her up and carrying her across the flat to his bedroom.

As soon as he laid her on the bed, she turned away from him and pulled her legs up. He bent down and removed her shoes, then pulled the covers over her and knelt on the ground and began to stroke her head. She was asleep in moments but he stayed there for a long time, watching her.

Was she serious? Was she really done with him? Did he care? The fire he felt in his chest seemed to be saying yes, but he had no idea what to do with the energy brewing there.

 _I'm finding it hard to care,_ she'd said.

"I know," he whispered. "That's my whole fucking life, Daphne."

He finally rose to his feet and closed the door softly behind him. When he got back to the sitting room, he cleaned up the remaining vomit, then walked to the fireplace and punched the mantel repeatedly until his knuckles were bleeding. As he attacked the fireplace, he cursed Hermione's name under his breath. This never would have happened if it wasn't for her. He was sure of it.

* * *

_Present Time: December 2003_

* * *

** Theo Nott **

Theo was laying on Draco and Hermione's bed watching a Muggle cooking show on the television while Hermione packed. He had no idea why these shows were so fascinating. Theo had tried watching his house elves cook recently and it hadn't been nearly this entertaining.

"You need to prove the dough for longer than that, Brenda, come on!" he shouted at the telly.

Hermione paused and looked back at Theo with her hands on her hips. "Draco is going to kill you when he finds out you put your feet on his pillow."

Theo shrugged, "Who's going to tell him?"

Hermione rolled her eyes, then used her wand to levitate both her and Draco's pillows into the closet.

"You know Draco moved the telly in here so you'd all stop coming over to watch it."

Theo shrugged again and focused back on the cooking show. "He's usually smart, but not always."

Theo had tried getting a telly to work at Nott Manor, but the device wouldn't turn on, no matter what he did. Hermione thought it was interfering with the magic of the estate. And in all honesty, he hadn't tried very hard, because he didn't mind having an excuse to come visit Draco and Hermione.

Hermione went back to her packing then and Theo could tell she was nervous. He watched her put something into her suitcase, then take it out and put it back in the closet, then she changed her mind and put it back in the suitcase. After she did that one more time he spoke up.

"Hermione, you need to relax. Just watching you is making me anxious."

"I know, I know," she sat on the bed and started chewing her lip. "It's just going to be an awful trip."

"Yeah? So, I guess your parents don't approve of you dating a Death Eater who fought on the side of the war that was trying to rid the world of Muggles?"

"Right, that's about it. And they don't know we're engaged."

Theo raised his eyebrows at that.

"I know, but I wanted to tell them in person and they're all the way in Australia. It's not like I can just apparate or Floo over."

"You could get an international Portkey. They take a week to setup, but then you're there in seconds," Theo argued.

"Whose side are you on?" she snapped back.

He shrugged. "Why do they live in Australia anyway? You've never said."

She looked away from him. "During the war I erased their memories and convinced them to move there. Once I restored their memories, they decided to stay."

Theo sat up in bed and looked back at her, surprised. "Wait, what?" How did he not know this?

She waved him off. "I don't want to explain it all now. Long story short, they don't like magic, and they especially don't like Draco, and this trip is going to be so hard for him. They're going to bring up every little thing he's ever done…" she dropped her head and trailed off, then added sadly, "it's not going to be a good Christmas."

"At least you'll be with Draco," Theo said, trying to cheer her up. "I'll be completely alone with only my house elves for company."

"Surely you can invite-"

"The Greengrasses are spending the week in Switzerland, Blaise is going to be with relatives in Italy, and my mother will be with her new husband in Germany."

"Come with us," Hermione suggested.

"What?"

"Why not? It's going to be awful, but it would be nice to have a buffer. That way they can berate both you and Draco for your parts in the war and not just Draco. And it would be nice for him to have a friend…and me," she added quickly.

"No offence, Hermione, but spending Christmas with Muggles who hate me does not sound appealing. I'd rather be alone with my house elves."

She shrugged, then turned back to her packing. "Well, the offer is out there in case you change your mind."

When Theo returned home that day, he saw a letter from his mother on the table. She said she'd changed her plans and her and her new husband were going to spend the holidays in England instead.

"Shit," he muttered under his breath. He'd made a promise to himself that he'd tell his mother he was gay the next time he saw her in person. Well, it looked like there was only one thing to do. He turned the letter over and wrote back a quick response, explaining that he'd already made plans to spend the holidays in Australia with his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This was the chapter of side characters. I hope you all didn't mind too much. There will be plenty of Hermione and Draco in the next chapter. Also, this Christmas sounds like it's going to be a disaster.
> 
> And Blaise, you need to get your shit together if you want Daphne back - this is no one's fault but your own. Also - I love how Theo loves Hermione. I hope you all didn't find that too weird or sudden, but I kind of like the fact that he would be completely taken with her from the start (platonically of course) which is at complete odds with Draco's initial reaction.
> 
> Thank you to my beta reader Lancashire Witch and to all of you too! I've been working really hard on this story and I like to keep the updates coming every 2-3 days because I know how complicated it is to follow and I think it's easier with regular updates. All of your comments, side discussions about theories, favorites, kudos, follows, etc. really make it very fun for me so thanks!
> 
> Come visit me on Tumblr (Alexandra-Emerson) to ask a question, say hi, or see more content related to the story. The next chapter will be posted Sun, Dec-13.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

_You once made a deal with time,_

_but it's slipping by too fast;_

_you can't borrow from the future,_

_to make up for the past._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: December 2003 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

"Why are you here, again?" Draco muttered to Theo. They were standing a few paces behind Hermione and waiting for her parents to open the door.

"To be supportive," Theo grumbled back at him in a very unsupportive-sounding tone.

"That can't be the real reason," Draco hissed.

"Shut up, you two!" Hermione turned back and snapped at them. Draco usually hated being scolded like this in front of his friends - even if it was just Theo - but he let it slide since he knew Hermione was very stressed right now. She was bouncing nervously from one foot to the other and she kept feeling for the wand he knew was strapped to her leg.

"Should I unlock the door?" she asked herself. "Or maybe just a quick revealing charm to see-"

Just then the door opened, and her parents appeared in the entryway. They looked a little older than the photos Hermione had of them, but Draco still recognized them easily. Her father was at the front and pulled Hermione into a hug, then when he released her, she walked to her mother and waited for a few awkward seconds before her mother finally leaned in to hug her.

Draco and Theo stood outside watching them, unsure what to do. Her father eventually turned to them and gave them a curt nod, then asked Hermione, "Uh...are you about to break the news about a second boyfriend? I've read about kids your age getting involved in relationships with three people. What was the word for it, Jean? Threeple?"

"Throuple," her mother provided as she joined her husband in the doorway and glared at Draco and Theo with her hands on her hips.

Hermione was blushing profusely and spoke up before Draco had a chance to. "No, Dad! Of course I'm not in a throuple. Honestly." She pushed past her parents and grabbed Draco's arm and pulled him inside. "This is Draco. And that," she pointed to Theo who was still outside, "is Theo Nott. He's just a friend."

Draco saw Theo was struggling to keep from laughing so he gave him a menacing glare and was glad when it worked to wipe the smile off his face. Theo finally followed them all into the house and Mr. Granger closed the door behind him.

After a brief round of more formal introductions, Hermione's mother asked, while pointing to Theo, "Is he a dark wizard too?"

Draco could tell Theo was about to say something unhelpful, so he stomped on his foot while Hermione said, "No, Mum. No one in this house right now is a dark wizard. They are all in Azkaban - the wizard prison - as I've told you countless times before."

"Well, why is he here?" Mrs. Granger asked.

"I've been wondering the same thing," Draco mumbled, and Hermione hit his arm. Theo just shrugged and didn't seem to care that they were all talking about him. Eventually, Hermione's mother moved her attention to Draco and Draco maintained her gaze and tried to keep his expression blank.

When she didn't say anything for several moments, Draco wondered if he should speak first. Maybe compliment her house or thank her for letting him and Theo spend the holidays with them. Though it didn't seem like that was something Hermione's mother had actually agreed to. Luckily, Hermione's father spoke next and saved Draco from having to choose his next words.

"Well, it's not like you've had a long day of travel or anything like that," he chimed in good-naturedly and Hermione gave him a grateful smile. "But I think we should still offer them some tea, right, Jean?"

She nodded and turned quickly to another room and Hermione followed, but Theo and Draco stayed in place. "Wow, she really hates you.'" Theo whispered.

"Yeah. Hermione told her everything," Draco whispered back.

"Everything?"

"Yes," Draco responded, then added, "now shut the fuck up," as he pulled Theo into the next room. Draco had complained a lot when he found out Theo was coming, but now, he was glad to have him here.

Ten minutes later they were all sitting around the dining room table, silently sipping on tea. Hermione's mother shot hateful looks at Draco every few moments, then would switch back to regarding Hermione warily, like she was about to explode. Her father looked extremely uncomfortable, but at least he didn't seem angry. And Theo was clearly enjoying it all. Eventually, Hermione's mother broke the silence and asked, "How is Ron?"

Hermione rolled her eyes and responded briskly, "Ron is good. He's actually getting married next month to one of my roommates from Hogwarts, Parvati."

"I liked him, and his family," her mother responded in a challenging tone and now Draco rolled his eyes but stopped when he saw Mrs. Granger's stern look.

"Now tell me, Hermione, if I'm misremembering. But I believe I've met _your_ father," Mrs. Granger said to Draco. Hermione's eyes widened and she was about to speak up, but her mother kept talking. "We were at a bookstore and he got into a row with Arthur Weasley. Apparently, he took personal offense to the fact that Arthur was with us, non-magical people. That was also the day he gave poor Ginny a book that nearly killed her later that year."

"What?" This question was from Theo.

"Shut up," Draco murmured. Then he turned back to Mrs. Granger. "You're right. That was my father. And he was awful. But in his defense, I don't think he knew what that book would do to Ginerva. Just that it would open the Chamber of Secrets."

"And release a monster that would kill students like Hermione?" she challenged.

Draco sighed and dropped his head, then started using Occlumency to clear his mind. There wasn't really anything to say to that; Mrs. Granger had a point.

"Wait, your father was behind all that?" Theo asked. "And what did Ginny Weasley have to do with it? She's a pureblood."

Both Hermione and Draco glared at Theo and it was Mrs. Granger who responded to him. "Well at least it's good to see that it's not just us Hermione keeps secrets from."

Hermione huffed and slammed her mug back on the table. "We can discuss this later, Theo. Mum, that is all in the past, and Draco had nothing to do with the Chamber of Secrets." She moved one of her hands to his lap and linked her fingers with his.

"I've forgiven Draco for everything. He's not the same person he was. And the man he is today -" she paused to smile at him and Draco couldn't help but return it. "-well I love him. Which is why I agreed to marry him."

"What?" her father almost spit out his tea. "When?"

"That's impossible," her mother added, but Hermione was extending her hand now and showing off her engagement ring.

"Draco and I have been engaged since August and we are getting married in April. I know I should have told you sooner, but I wanted it to be in person."

Everyone was silent and only Theo was drinking tea anymore.

Hermione's mother crossed her arms on the table and fixed Draco with a serious stare. "I want to see it."

"No, Mum," Hermione said sternly.

"See what?" Draco asked, confused. Hermione had already shown her the ring, but her mother had barely glanced at it.

"Your arm," she clarified in a cold tone.

Theo hitched his breath and Draco felt his stomach drop, but he still unbuttoned the cuff of his sleeve and pulled it up to expose what remained of his Dark Mark. He carefully placed it on the table and watched Mrs. Granger's eyes fill with disgust as she studied it. Draco was trying to keep his emotions in check but was about to fall apart. He tried Occlumency again, but it was no use, he should have thought to take a potion today. Brain Elixir, or maybe a Calming Draught.

"There was a time in your life you wanted my daughter dead," Hermione's mother said this as a statement, not a question.

Draco gave her a curt nod, then removed his arm from the table. "When I was very young, up until the first time I actually saw someone die, at fifteen, I thought I wanted people like her, and you, dead. But I was young and stupid and had no idea what it really meant for someone to die. Now - it's quite the opposite. If she died, I'd be nothing. I'd want to be dead too."

Hermione squeezed his hand under the table and her mother was silent for the first time that day. Draco took a deep breath, then kept talking. "You mentioned Weasley before. Uh - Ron - and his family. You were right, they are good people. And it's clear by how compassionate Hermione is that you are too. I didn't have that. My parents were hateful and taught me to hate others too. I had to learn the truth about everything the hard way.

"And I know you don't think I deserve her, and you're right. But Hermione is someone who knows her own mind. And she wants me, so I've learned to stop questioning it." Draco saw Hermione's father give him a kind, knowing look. He clearly knew what it was like to love a strong-willed woman.

"And I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to be good enough for her," Draco continued. "I've come so far in just the few years I've been friends with her. Given a lifetime - I have no idea the kind of person I could become."

Theo nodded at this and Hermione laid her head on Draco's shoulder and whispered, "I love you," so silently he knew only he had heard her.

Both of her parents were quiet. Mr. Granger looked a little more reassured, but Mrs. Granger's expression was blank. Eventually it was Theo who broke the silence. "I can attest to that. Draco was an absolute prat in school and he's semi-decent now."

"Do you have one of those marks too?" Hermione's mother asked Theo.

"Fuck no! I mean, sorry, no." When Theo saw Draco's angry look he added, "But my father did, and it was really just bad luck that Draco got recruited into the Dark Lord's ranks. It was just meant to be punishment for a mistake his father made. It's not like you signed up to be a Death Eater or anything like that. You had to be chosen and-" he cut off when he saw Hermione shaking her head and took another drink of his tea. Hermione shot Theo an appreciative smile and he shrugged and gave her a look that said, _Well, I tried._

"What about your parents?" Mr. Granger asked Draco then. "How do they feel about all this?"

That was the one question Draco had not been prepared to answer. He took a deep breath. "They were forced to face a lot of hard truths and have also come a long way since the war. My mother defied the Dark Lord and was critical to Harry Potter's success. And my father refused to fight in the final battle and was acquitted of all charges by our court. But they still hold prejudices against Muggles and Muggleborns and would prefer that I didn't marry Hermione. But she's not in danger, if that's what you're asking. They love me and would never harm her."

By the expression on Mr. Granger's face, Draco could tell he hadn't considered the possibility of Hermione being in danger and was disturbed by Draco's words. But it was too late for Draco to take them back now. He took it for granted sometimes what it must be like to live without the real possibility of danger in your life.

The rest of the tea passed uneventfully. Hermione's mother was quiet, and Hermione did most of the talking. She explained their plans for the wedding and gave brief updates on all the friends her parents had met in the past.

When everyone had finished, Hermione's father started to explain that he didn't think they had enough room in the house for Theo and Draco, but Hermione had already accounted for this. "I've brought a tent for us to stay in. I'll set it up in the back, if that's okay. I knew it would be a bit cramped with all of us staying inside."

"No," Mrs. Granger finally spoke up.

"What?"

"The boys can stay outside, but you're staying in your room."

"Mum, this is a magical tent. Once it's propped up it'll be like a two-bedroom flat. I'll be very comfortable outside."

Her mother crossed her arms. "You're not married yet, Hermione, and while you're staying here, I won't have you sleeping outside with your boyfriend and his peculiar friend."

Draco could tell Theo was about to interject again so he shoved him and tried to keep his own amusement in check as he watched Hermione stomp her foot and cross her arms in almost an exact replica of her mother's pose. "Draco and I live together, Mum. We sleep together every night and-"

"I don't care." Draco was glad her mother had interrupted. He didn't think now was the best time for Hermione to expand on her statement. "Our house, our rules. Now how about the boys setup this tent so we can talk to you alone?"

Draco was about to protest, but luckily Hermione beat him to it. "Theo can set up the tent, but Draco's staying."

Everyone was still, then they all turned to look at Theo. Hermione tossed him her beaded bag. "The tent is in there, but I've shrunk it, so you'll need to enlarge it first. Oh, and please use a summoning charm to get it, that way you won't disturb the organization system I've set up."

"Right," Theo grumbled, then headed for the back door, "I guess I'm setting up the tent, like a bloody house elf."

When he was gone, Hermione turned to look at her mother. "What is it?"

"The last time we saw you, you told us your childhood bully, who is the son of parents you previously described as 'the worst kind of dark wizards,' and who fought on the side of the war that was trying to kill you, was your new boyfriend. Then we hear nothing from you besides vague letters about your job for the next year, and now you and this boy are getting married?

"You complain about us being distant, but that goes both ways, Hermione. You said you were engaged in August? How could you wait until now to tell us? You expect us to trust you, but you don't include us in your life. I can only assume you shut us out because you're ashamed of what we'll see."

Draco saw Hermione drop her head and guessed she was trying to fight back tears. He stepped in front of her, about to argue on her behalf, but she put an arm on his and shook her head. She took a deep breath, then started talking quickly. "You're right, Mum, you've missed a lot. In the past year I've gotten to know Draco's friends and found I quite like them - well, two of them." Draco snorted at this and she gave him a small smile.

"I moved into Draco's flat and we got engaged while playing that people-watching game in the park that you two taught me. And I've been planning my wedding for months with the help of Ginny and Daphne, who is Draco's best friend. And no, I didn't tell you, but it's not because I'm ashamed of any of it, I just know you wouldn't approve. And it's easier for me to shut you out than include you and have to deal with the pain of your rejection."

Her mother was about to cut in, but Hermione kept talking. "I know my introduction into the wizarding world was rough. I was in tears a lot of the times I came back home. And some of that was because of Draco-" she looked over at him and he cringed and she gave him a sad smile before turning back to her parents, "-but some of it was because of the guilt I felt at having to hide so much of what was really going on from you.

"But now, I'm doing so well. I'm very influential at the Ministry and if I continue like this, I may have a shot at being the Minister for Magic one day. I'm still close with Harry and Ron and Ginny and I've made new friends like Theo and Daphne. And Draco-" she walked to him and linked an arm around his waist. "He makes me happier than I ever thought possible."

"I know none of this is what you planned," she continued. Hermione seemed to be on a roll now and her mother had stopped trying to interrupt her.

"You never wanted to send me to boarding school. You never imagined I had magical powers and would live most of my life in a world you wouldn't understand. But the distance, that's there because of you. I'm willing to call every day if you want, but I'm not going to hide the parts of my life you don't approve of. And if you judge me or make me feel bad when we talk, then I'll stop calling."

Hermione let go of Draco then took a tentative step toward her parents, who were frozen in place. "I want you to come to the wedding. Honestly, I want you to move back to England. I want you in my life. And, wow, I had planned that maybe we'd be here a few days before I said all this, but maybe it's a good way to start the trip. I love you, and I hope you can accept me for who I am. Because I am very happy, and safe," she added with a smile.

Her father was the one who spoke first. He pulled Hermione into a hug and said, "Oh, my little storm, of course we accept you." He pushed her back but kept his hands on either side of her arms as he said, "But we have just taken in a large amount of information in just a few hours, so give us some time to process it, won't you?"

Hermione nodded and they both looked over at her mother, who nodded at her husband's words. She placed a hand on Hermione's shoulder, then leaned in and kissed her cheek before rushing off to another area of the house.

"That's my cue," Mr. Granger said a little sadly before leaving to follow his wife.

Draco wrapped his arms around Hermione. "I'm so proud of you," he whispered into her hair. She nodded and he could feel her shaking underneath his grip. He pulled her to the outside door Theo had left from, knowing that in a few moments, she would crumble. He just hoped Theo was finished with that damn tent.

* * *

** Hermione Granger **

Later that night, Hermione snuck out of her bedroom to go to the tent in the backyard. She paused when she got to the main room and saw that her dad was watching the telly, then jumped when she heard his voice, sure she'd been caught. But he wasn't talking to her.

As she peered around the corner, she saw Theo was sitting with him and they were both watching the baking show Theo was obsessed with. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing out loud and hurried into the backyard.

She found Draco laying on his bed, reading the newspaper. "Oh good," he mumbled when he saw her. "I assumed you'd sneak out, but we never discussed it. And if you hadn't come out, I'd have had to sneak in there, but if I'd been caught it would have been a whole ordeal..."

She silenced him with a kiss, then settled next to him on the bed. He pulled her onto him and shifted onto his back, then started playing with her hair while she propped her chin on her hands and smiled down at him.

"I can't believe I said all of that," she repeated for what must have been the twentieth time that day.

"I'm so proud of you," he said again as he twirled a curl around his finger.

"I meant it, really. I'm so happy. My life is good. And I want them in it, but if they're going to make me feel bad then there's no place for them. I think my mum finally understands, I just hope it's not too late for her to change her opinion of you - and me."

Draco nodded back at her sadly and stopped playing with her hair.

"You're thinking about your parents, aren't you?"

Draco nodded. "I saw my father, right before this trip, and we talked about the wedding."

"Oh," she wasn't sure what else to say.

"He reminded me that he doesn't approve of the marriage. Then said something strange, something like: 'The last time we spoke you hadn't decided if you were going to go through with this. But I guess you've made your decision.'"

Hermione cocked her head in confusion. Then she remembered the Halloween Ball. That must be what Lucius was referring to. "He must have talked to your future self during that time jump from October. Maybe you were vague and noncommittal with him, not wanting to give anything away."

"Yes, maybe," he said. "Well, I told him very clearly that I intend to marry you and nothing he says is going to change my mind." He placed a small kiss on her nose, then Theo's voice from outside the tent interrupted their conversation.

"Are you two shagging in there?"

"Yes!" Draco yelled before she could respond. "Come back in thirty minutes."

Hermione hit him, then he shrugged and yelled, "Actually, make it forty-five."

She heard Theo grumble something, then she heard the door to her parent's house slam closed. He must have gone inside to watch more television. Hermione crossed her arms and tried to get off of Draco, but he held her tightly in place, then pulled her down and kissed her.

"Draco…" she tried to pull away again, but he had a firm grip on her waist.

"Why did you sneak out, if not for this?" he cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Okay," she smirked back at him, "just let me cast a silencing and locking charm first." She leaned over and removed her wand from under her clothes, then cast a few charms before turning back to him. He was pulling his shirt off, then crawled toward her on the bed and motioned for her to do the same.

She loved him like this: playful, smiling, and shirtless. She just wished her parents would see how happy he made her and grow to love him too.

* * *

** Theo Nott **

It was the last night of their trip and Theo and Draco were in the tent, throwing a Quaffle back and forth to each other.

Theo was surprised by how harsh Hermione's parents were when they'd first arrived. He expected someone like Hermione to come from very loving parents. When he told this to Hermione that first night, she'd said they had been loving, but that her actions in the war had changed them. Then she'd explained how she'd obliviated them and Theo had to admit that maybe her parents had reason to be so distrustful of her, though he did feel bad for Hermione.

Over the course of the trip, the three of them had bonded over their shared strained relationships with their parents. It had actually been quite nice to know that it wasn't just Theo who could barely hold a conversation with his mother.

Now Hermione was talking to her parents about their travel plans for her wedding in April. Theo also wondered if they'd talk about moving back to England. Theo had been discussing this topic with her father each night as they watched that baking show, but he hadn't told Hermione and Draco about that.

Her father admitted that they weren't entirely sure that England was safe. Apparently in an effort to justify her decision to obliviate them, Hermione had inadvertently turned her parents off of wanting to move back to England. She'd shown them articles in the paper about fallen bridges and countless, unexplained deaths where the authorities had claimed the victims had "died of shock," explaining how wizards had been behind all those events.

Theo tried to reassure her father as best he could. He explained about the Auror office and how they worked to search out and capture dark wizards. And he reiterated what Hermione had already said about all the dark wizards being locked up in Azkaban.

"How do you think that talk is going?" Draco's question cut into Theo's thoughts.

Theo shrugged, then tossed the Quaffle back at Draco.

"I feel awful," Draco continued, "for driving such a wedge between them."

Theo shrugged again. "It looks like that wedge was there before you. But imagine how she feels."

"What do you mean?" Draco sat up on the couch and looked curiously back at Theo.

"Well, she and her parents were distant before you two got together. But you and your parents, that's completely caused by her. From what I can tell, you were doing okay before you started dating Hermione. But now you barely talk to them."

Draco nodded sadly, then laid back on the couch and threw the Quaffle again. "I guess I've never thought of it like that. I hope she doesn't feel responsible."

"It could be worse," Theo said, hoping to lighten Draco's mood. "I skipped spending Christmas with my mother because I'm too scared to tell her I'm gay."

Draco shot up quickly on the couch and failed to catch the Quaffle Theo had just tossed to him. It bounced off his chest and rolled onto the floor. "You're gay?!"

Theo sat up on his couch. "You already know this! You saw me snogging that bloke at the Halloween Ball a few months ago."

Theo watched Draco curiously and saw him thinking hard, then he nodded and looked back at Theo with a strange expression. "Right, of course. I forgot."

"You forgot?" Theo pressed. "How could you forget something like that?"

"I must have had a lot to drink," Draco said defensively.

Theo shook his head. Draco had appeared completely sober that night. Just then Hermione appeared back in the tent and joined Draco on the couch. She seemed to have picked up on the tension in the room and asked, "What's wrong?"

"Did you know Theo was gay?" Draco asked her.

Her eyes widened in surprise, then she nodded to herself, like this made perfect sense. "Well, no, I didn't know that. But it explains a lot."

"Like what?" Theo asked harshly.

"Well, why you're so angry all the time, for one. And closed off."

Theo pouted at this and she sighed and went to join him on his couch. "It must be really hard for you, to be gay in pureblood society. I know how traditional everyone can be. Is that why you agreed to come on this trip? So you wouldn't have to spend time with your mother? Does she know?"

Theo shook his head. "She doesn't. But that is why I decided to come. I promised myself I'd tell her the next time I saw her. But, well, I guess I'm not ready."

Hermione hugged him and he sighed, then wrapped an arm around her. "Oh, Theo, I'm sorry you feel like you need to hide this. Draco and I don't care, we love you no matter what." Theo looked over at Draco then, who just shrugged and nodded. Theo was glad then that he'd come on this trip, even though it was a bit of a shit show.

"I know you're gay and all, but I'm only going to put up with five more minutes of you two snuggling on that couch together," Draco grumbled and Theo felt Hermione laugh against his chest.

As Theo watched Draco on the other couch, he thought back to their odd conversation from Halloween. He still had the letter and had almost brought it up to Draco and Hermione so many times, then stopped himself at the last moment. What the hell was going on here? Now wasn't the time to ask, he knew, but if he didn't have an answer soon, he'd demand one.

* * *

_Present Time: January 2004 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Hermione Granger **

"I'm going to time jump tonight," Draco said from across the room.

"Oh," Hermione stopped working on her make-up and looked over at Draco, who was trying to get his collar straight. "Okay, I guess I'll pack you another set of dress robes, since I know how much you hate transfiguring those."

Draco nodded back at her and smiled, then he looked a little annoyed about something. She wanted to ask him if he would hate her when he came from the past but was spared from trying to figure out how to word the question by his next statement. "I won't be mean. Well, not intentionally," he added cryptically.

"Okay," she went to the closet and grabbed a set of dress robes, then changed the color to match the ones he was currently wearing before putting them in her bag.

When they got to the silent auction, Hermione was eager to talk to one of her colleagues about a new piece of legislation she was working on. But Draco insisted they look at the items up for auction first.

"You know how much I hate shopping," Hermione complained as he dragged her over.

"This hardly counts as shopping," Draco argued. "We'll just look through these once and as soon as you see something you like we can go back to talking to your boring work friends."

She stuck her tongue out at him but let him drag her to the tables with the items for sale. After just a few moments, she was ready to leave but Draco held her in place. "You haven't found anything yet and you know we have to buy something. This is for charity, remember?"

"Right, you pick something," she tried to leave again but he wouldn't let her go. He was acting weird, but she couldn't figure out why.

"There is just one more table, now come with me and have a look."

"Fine." She started as soon as she saw the next item for sale. It was a photo of a holiday house on a gorgeous beach. She leaned in and read the description and saw it was in Bali and the week for rent was just two weeks after their wedding. That would be perfect for their honeymoon.

She looked over at Draco and he was smiling at her. His job for the wedding was to choose the venue for both the ceremony and the honeymoon. He'd chosen a vineyard in France for the ceremony but had been stalling when it came to selecting the honeymoon destination. "Did you know this would be for sale?" she asked. "Is that what you wanted me to see?"

He just shrugged and she rolled her eyes, then pulled him close and kissed his cheek. "You know it's perfect. This is exactly the type of honeymoon we talked about. And the timing is perfect too."

He smiled widely. "Well, is that what you want me to bid on then?"

She nodded and he bent over and wrote something on the parchment. She was about to check what amount he'd written down, but he pulled her away. "Let's dance."

"Draco, I need to talk to Beverly, I told you."

"You'll do that with the other Draco. I already told you he'll put up with it just fine. I want to dance with my beautiful fiancée before I'm forced to leave." Well, she couldn't argue with that. And she was glad she'd agreed because they'd only enjoyed two dances before he started to flicker and ran for cover in the dark hallway.

* * *

_Present Time: January 2004 / Draco's Time: June 2001_

* * *

** Hermione Granger **

Draco caught Hermione completely off guard when he kissed her just as she finished tying his tie. "Draco," she said, pushing him away. "We -uh- don't really do this, with the person from the other time. Nothing more than a hug or a quick peck on the cheek."

Draco began to place kisses along her neck and jaw and Hermione was having trouble focusing. "I'm serious, Draco," she said in a sterner tone, and he sighed and stepped away from her.

"Well, it's your fault for looking like that," he said flirtatiously and she smiled back at him and ran her fingers through his hair.

She complimented him back, then pulled him in for another kiss. She'd already broken the agreement, so where was the harm in kissing him again? As they were walking back to the ballroom, she asked him what time he was from and stopped abruptly when she heard his response.

"Was that our first kiss for you?"

He looked guilty and she hit him hard on the shoulder. "Draco!"

"Ow! What?"

"It's- well, it's weird. I thought the first time you kissed me, was the first time we kissed in the same timeline, not in the future!" How had they never discussed this before? That meant when they made the agreement to never kiss the other version of each other, he already knew they'd break it.

"It's only fair," he argued, "you've already kissed a future version of me."

She rolled her eyes, remembering that drunken kiss. "That hardly counted." Then she fixed him with a calculating glare as she thought about what they were doing in his time. "You liked me as early as then? Or, well, now? Right when we started working together?"

She saw his eyes flash with uncertainty and her heart dropped. No. He didn't like her, that much was clear. "You don't like me," she said simply. "But then, why did you kiss me?"

Draco grabbed her by the shoulders, "I do. I- I like _you._ "

"We're the same," she argued.

"You're not. You're fucking gorgeous," Hermione frowned. Was that all he saw in her? God, he was such a prat. "But, well, more than that-" he added in a rush. "You're more confident now. You're funny, and- and- smart."

"I'll give you the confidence thing," she snapped back, then paused. How ironic that he would point out her confidence when he was the primary reason behind her original low self-esteem, but was also the reason she'd grown more confident in the past year, since he made her feel like she belonged in the Wizarding world in a way the rest of her friends had never managed to.

She glared at him and continued, "But I've always been funny and smart, and I look about the same now as I did back then. There's something else, I can tell, so just say it."

Draco dipped his head, "You like me - love me even. She doesn't."

Hermione felt like someone had hit her with a Freezing Spell. This was the real reason Draco was with her. She'd been worrying about this ever since he'd shown her that letter he'd written his past self.

_She will fix it all, if you let her. You won't feel lonely or unmoored anymore._

This version of him was working with her at the Ministry, but he didn't even like her. He just liked the future version of her because she made him feel loved. But eventually, he'd come to love her, wouldn't he? Or maybe he just liked the feeling of being accepted and had confused that for love. She felt a tear fall down her cheek and Draco wiped it away quickly.

"Fuck. No, I'm sorry. What's wrong?"

She reassured him nothing was wrong, then convinced him to go back with her to the ballroom. She still hadn't talked to Beverly yet and needed to get that over with. She was angry with her Draco for not warning her about this. But what would he have said? She didn't think this Draco really knew how upset she was, so how could her Draco have known? But he could tell something was wrong, he wasn't that thick.

He pulled her into the hallway an hour later. "You're obviously miserable, Hermione, let me take you home. We live in my flat, right?"

"It's fine," she shook her head, "the auction isn't even over-" she remembered the holiday house on the beach and wondered if they'd won. Then she wondered if she still wanted to go.

_Don't be ridiculous. Your Draco will come back soon, and it will all be better. Just hang in there, Hermione._

"Please, I can tell you don't want to be here," Draco urged.

She bit her lip, then turned back to him and nodded, "Fine, let's go."

* * *

_Present Time: January 2004 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

When Draco returned from his time jump, he found Hermione in the flat cooking. She didn't hear him enter and he saw she was wearing the earrings he'd given her two Christmases ago. He watched her for a few moments and eventually she saw him standing there and dropped her spatula in alarm. He caught it with a levitation spell and saw her tap her earrings to stop whatever book she was listening to from playing in her head.

He had a lot of things to say to her but wasn't sure where to start. He was annoyed that she'd kissed his other self but knew that wasn't worth bringing up because of what had happened right after that. He'd made her cry, but at the time Draco hadn't really understood why. Now he thought he got it, but wanted Hermione to explain, just in case he'd missed something.

He took a tentative step toward her, and when she didn't step away, he closed the distance and pulled her into his arms. "The last thing you said to me that night - well, last night for you - that I'd kissed you like I loved you. You were right. It just took me a few months to realize it."

She was quiet and he leaned back to look at her and saw her eyes were sad and haunted. "You don't believe me," he said, then released her and took a step back.

"I'm trying, Draco," she whispered. "I'm trying to understand. But I don't know if you loved me or the idea of me. I, on the other hand, loved you the whole time."

"You wouldn't answer my owls for a month," he argued.

"I loved you then, too, I was just scared. But you… I can't shake the feeling that none of this was about me."

"No, Hermione," Draco pulled her back in his arms but could tell she was stiff. He ignored it and tightened his grip on her. "We both got there in different ways, but I love you now. Please tell me you believe that."

She was quiet for a long while, then she sighed and began to nod her head. "I do. I wouldn't be marrying you in a few months if I didn't, would I?"

It was a strange response, and Draco almost pointed out the promise they'd made to each other to not do things because they knew that's what happened in the future. But he held his tongue. Now wasn't the time to give her any doubts about marrying him.

She laid her head on his chest and he stroked her hair as he thought back on the time jump he'd made. He'd visited her at the Ministry and joked about missing out on his hot date, which she had rolled her eyes at.

Then he'd made some comment about Weasley being rubbish for her and she'd stormed off. He'd been scared he'd messed something up and been desperate to come back and have her reassure him that that was how it had gone from her perspective, and that everything would work out. But she was in no state to reassure him right now. He'd bring it up later, once she was in a better mood.

"Your heart's beating really fast," she said in a slightly questioning tone. He just nodded and pulled her back against him.

"I missed you, that's all. And I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, please forgive me."

"Of course, Draco. I know you didn't mean it."

 _No, I didn't. Not this time at least._ He was dreading the time jumps he knew were coming, when he had hurt her intentionally. If she was this distraught by a Draco who had inadvertently upset her, how would she react then? Unfortunately, he knew the answer to that question, but tried his best to push the thought from his mind since there was nothing he could do about it now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm trying to find the right balance between how much of the past scenes to recap. I can't just re-write the entire time jump from another perspective, because that would be super long and boring. But I want to cover enough so you can remember what I'm talking about. The scenes from the time jump referred to in this chapter were originally in chapters 11 and 12, in case you want to read them in their entirety.
> 
> Anyway, on to other notes. That Christmas went a bit better than the last one. But there wasn't really anywhere to go but up. I love how Theo was randomly there. I remember being a random add-on at some of my friends' holidays in college and channeled the awkwardness from those times when writing this.
> 
> And Hermione's speech to her mother was very personal for me. I've definitely said all of those same words to my own parents (minus all the specific references to HP events, of course).
> 
> Many thanks to my beta reader Lancashire Witch for her continued support. You can follow me over on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson to see aesthetics and a few behind the scenes drabbles for each chapter. Thanks so much for reading, please let me know what you think.
> 
> And get excited for the next chapter! We're going to see some scenes from their wedding day. It will be posted Tue, Dec-15.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

_You were you, and I was I;_

_we were two, before our time._

_I was yours, before I knew;_

_and you have always been mine too._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: February 2004 / Draco's Time: June 2002_

* * *

** Hermione Granger **

When Draco time jumped again, during drinks at Theo's, the version of him that came from the past was desperate for Hermione to tell him that things would all work out okay for them. She'd known then he was from that time right after she'd found out they were married and was struggling to come to grips with it.

Hermione felt a little bad for this Draco. She hadn't realized how much her actions from that time had affected him. He never left her side all afternoon and had even made Theo move so he could sit next to her. Now they were back at their flat and Hermione saw Draco notice the brochures for new houses spread across the table.

She knew this Draco knew which house they would pick. Her Draco knew too, which was convenient. Hermione selected a number of houses that met her criteria, then was letting Draco make the final decision. It was so much easier that way.

"How was I?" the Draco from the past asked, "Hopefully not too obvious?"

She shook her head. "You did well, though you were a bit more affectionate than normal. I don't believe you took your hands off me the entire time." She paused to fix him with a stern look. "I understand why, so I'll let it slide this time, but seeing as how we're not dating in your time, it's not entirely proper."

"When I snogged you, you had a boyfriend in my time, so this is an improvement-" She rolled her eyes and he cut off. Hermione had forgotten about that. Wow, Draco really had been a huge prat. "Wait, that has happened for you already, right?"

"Yes," she crossed her arms and plastered a smile on her face - although the memory of that night still made her feel hollow. "The last time I saw you, a few weeks ago," she added.

She studied his reaction carefully. That had been the time he'd made her cry by telling her he liked her more than her past self because she made him feel loved. Draco's face fell and Hermione's chest clenched in response. She stayed still, trying not to give too much away.

"About all that, Hermione, I'm sure now I was right when I said it was about _you_ , and not anything else. I do like you, in all the times."

The pressure in Hermione's chest released. This Draco wasn't even dating her yet and he said he liked _her._ That was a good sign, right? He walked to her and placed his hands on her hips and she resisted the urge to link her hands behind his neck.

"And I'm sorry for touching you so much today, but I've been desperate to see you in my time and you've been ignoring me. So, you'll have to forgive me." He sighed, and added, "Please, tell me our separation in my time will end soon, I'm not sure I can bear it for much longer."

The fact that he'd been pining this much for her during their separation was simultaneously heart-breaking and comforting. Hermione nodded. "As I said before, we'll be fine. I'm just- well, struggling with what I regard to be a rather large and important decision."

She paused then as she remembered what her father always told her when she was trying to make a hard decision: 'You will always find the answer in your heart, where it has been waiting since long before the question.' She remembered that Draco had said this to her on their first date, then it clicked. Someone had to tell him that poem, and it must be _her_ , right now.

As soon as the thought entered her mind, she didn't hesitate. She wanted to give this Draco a bit of hope, since he seemed so sad, so she told him the poem. And it felt good knowing that later he'd use this to convince her to go on a second date with him. It was like she was sending a subtle message to her past self that Draco was worth it, and everything would turn out okay.

But when he tried to kiss her afterward, she pushed him away. After they'd gotten their heavy conversations about the last time jump out of the way, her Draco had teased her endlessly about breaking their agreement and kissing the other version of him not one time, but three times. She wasn't about to deal with another month of his taunts.

"Sorry, Draco. Not this time. If I let you kiss me again, I won't hear the end of it from your future self."

He smirked at that. "I thought you said earlier that I wasn't a prat anymore."

"I said you'd _mostly_ outgrown that," she responded with a grin.

* * *

_Present Time: February 2004 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Hermione Granger **

Later that night, Hermione was awoken by a sound in the other room. She crept out of bed and picked her wand up from the nightstand, casting a quick _Hominem Revelio_ charm before leaving her bedroom. There was one other person in the flat, near the kitchen. It was probably Draco, returning from his time jump, she told herself, trying to calm her racing heart beat.

Even years after the war, she'd still wake up in the night with the ominous feeling that someone was looking for her. Her routine was always the same. She'd check the flat for other inhabitants, then she'd verify every ward was still in place, then she'd have to read for an hour or so to calm her thoughts before she'd be able to fall back asleep. She'd told Harry about this a few months ago and he'd confirmed it was the same for him, which had made her feel a little better.

She raised her wand and crept to the kitchen and wasn't surprised to find Draco standing at the counter with his back to her. She let out a sigh of relief, but he hadn't heard her. He seemed to be distracted.

She saw then that he had an empty glass and a bottle of fire whiskey in front of him. He poured himself a large glass and gulped it down like it was water. She winced on his behalf, but he barely reacted to the alcohol. Then he shoved the glass and bottle out of his way and leaned against the counter. She saw him gripping the edges tightly while he took several deep breaths.

What was the matter? Something from the time jump? She knew based on the Draco she'd seen earlier that day that this Draco had visited her in her flat during the few weeks she'd been ignoring his owls.

He'd tried to convince her that he loved her and had never meant to manipulate her, and they'd enjoyed a lovely day at the park. So why was he so upset now? Had something happened after he'd dropped her back at her flat that day?

"Draco?" she approached tentatively so as not to startle him. He still jumped a little, then he gave her a small nod and stayed in place. She stopped behind him and wrapped her arms around his middle, then leaned her head against his back.

Draco pulled one of his arms up to cover hers and she felt him let out a sigh.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

It took a long time for him to answer her. "I don't like going to the past," he said eventually.

"Why not?"

"I'm so worried I'm going to screw something up - and that I'm going to lose you."

Hermione gripped him tighter. She wished she could say there was nothing he could do to lose her, but they both knew that wasn't true. She might be able to say that confidently about her timeline from here forward, but if he did things differently in the past, who knew what effect that could have?

Draco pulled her arms down from his waist, then turned to face her. "When I showed up in my flat and checked the date, I knew instantly what I was meant to do. I remember you saying that a lot of the reason you agreed to that first date with me was because of what you'd discussed with my future self. At the time, I didn't think much about it - I was just grateful to him. But this time, it was me, and I knew I had to do something and if I screwed it up…" his voice trailed off and she nodded encouragingly, then began rubbing his neck with her hands.

She remembered him that day, standing on the landing outside her flat. She remembered thinking how he must be from the future, since he looked so self-assured and confident. She had no idea this nervousness and uncertainty had been lurking underneath. She told him that, and he laughed darkly.

Then he held his palms out to her and she looked at them curiously. "See the skin there? When I got to your flat, I paced the landing for a full ten minutes before knocking. I was clenching my fists so hard I broke skin. I'm glad I came off as confident, but I was completely terrified. It's like that poem you said describes Gryffindors. The one about being scared but doing it anyway."

Hermione nodded, and recited, "'Scared is what you're feeling, brave is what you're doing.'" She picked her wand up from the counter and healed his hands quickly. "I had no idea," she mumbled and he stroked her cheek.

Then he smiled and said. "To work up the courage, I told myself over and over again: _She loves me, she loves me, she loves me. Out of everyone in her life, she chose me, and I can get her to do it again_. And once I finally saw you, I felt better, like I always do when I'm with you."

She placed her hand over his and smiled back at him. His eyes were twinkling in the moonlight that was peeking in through the kitchen window. "I'm sorry you were so nervous, but you were perfect that day. I know it would be easier if I just told you everything that happens, but everything you said was so sincere. I'm worried if you just recite what you know you're supposed to say, that my past self will catch on and won't fall for you so deeply."

"I know," he dropped his hand from her face and pulled her into a hug.

"I'll never forget what you said to me that day," Hermione said as she stepped back to look at him. "Well, two things. The first, you said you felt lost in time, but you always sought me out in the past because when you're with me, everything makes sense and you don't feel lost anymore."

Draco nodded and she saw that his eyes were wet. "It's the same for me," she said. "I know I don't time travel, but I think I understand the feeling."

"And there was something else," Hermione continued. "When you told me you weren't trying to guess at my thoughts to manipulate me, but to understand me. That's what changed my mind about you."

Draco gave her a breathtaking smile, then dipped his head so it was resting on her shoulder and let out a long sigh. "I'm so glad I didn't fuck it up."

She wrapped her arms around him, then pulled him to the bedroom. "Let's go back to bed, it's late."

Once they got to bed, Hermione snuggled against Draco's chest. "You know, Draco, I've been thinking."

"Hmm?"

"I know we keep saying we have a choice in this time loop, but have you noticed that so far, nothing has been altered? I mean, it makes sense, because as soon as something changes, all of our memories would change to match."

She looked up at Draco, but he looked upset. She lowered her head back on his chest. "I know you don't like the feeling of not being able to control your destiny, but so far it hasn't been a bad thing, not for me, at least. Maybe there's a small comfort in knowing that it's a lot harder to change the events of this time loop than we thought."

Draco was quiet, then he took a deep breath and said, "Well one thing I know for certain happens is that I marry you in a few months. And if that's inevitable - well - I'm okay with that."

* * *

_Present Time: March 2004 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Narcissa Malfoy **

Narcissa drummed her fingers on the table as she waited for Draco to arrive. It wasn't like him to be late, but she knew what it was like preparing for a wedding. And she couldn't imagine how hard it must be without the aid of house elves. Hermione and Draco were probably running around frantically taking care of last-minute errands before their big day in a few weeks.

As Narcissa thought about the wedding, she scowled. She'd always imagined having a large part in planning her son's wedding, but thanks to Lucius, she'd been completely cut out of this one. All she knew about it was as much as she could glean from the invitation. The venue, which was a lovely choice, she assumed that had been Draco's idea, and the date.

She'd studied the invitation carefully after receiving it and decided after intense scrutiny that they must be using Draco's money to fund the wedding. The quality of the paper was flawless. That invitation had prompted Narcissa to start asking questions of popular wedding vendors she knew.

That's when she'd discovered that Daphne Greengrass was doing most of the planning for Draco's wedding. It had hurt, since Narcissa still wished it had been her in charge, but at least Hermione had had the good sense to place the responsibility for her wedding in capable hands.

Narcissa had always liked Daphne and thought she had impeccable taste. She was also a very lovely girl and clearly cared for Draco, but unfortunately nothing had ever developed romantically between those two. That was too bad, since that would have been much easier for everyone.

Just then, Draco appeared and apologized for his tardiness. She had been right; he'd been at a final fitting for his dress robes which had gone later than he'd expected.

"Thank you so much for coming," he said seriously as he settled into his seat. He sighed then and she could tell he was nervous. She hated that. Draco had always been himself around her, but now, they were so distant. She knew almost nothing about his life.

"What is it, Draco? You said you needed something in your letter. You can have anything, really. Just name it."

He gave her a shy smile, then dropped his head. "You might want to wait until you see what I need." He pinched the bridge of his nose, then when he looked back at her his eyes were sad.

She sat up straight in her seat and waited patiently for him to continue. She saw the waiter approach behind Draco and shook her head and was glad when he took the hint and turned around and left them alone. "Go ahead, Draco," she said in the kindest voice she could muster.

"It's about the wedding. The venue, I'm sure you recognized it?" He paused to cock an eyebrow at her and she nodded. It was a favorite holiday spot of hers and she and Lucius had taken Draco there often when he was younger.

"Well, the owner has just found out Hermione is a Muggleborn and he said he won't allow a wedding like that to happen on his property." Draco sighed and dropped his head again. "I didn't have many jobs in the wedding, but securing the location was one. And if we have to change everything at the last moment…" he trailed off. Narcissa knew how much of a disaster that would be.

"And I _know_ it happens there," he said under his breath and Narcissa thought that was a very odd choice of words.

"I understand why you wrote to me, and I'm glad you did, Draco. I'll take care of it." Narcissa was friends with the owner's wife, which Draco knew. All she had to do was threaten to spread the word around London about how awful the vineyard had become and stop pureblood society members from travelling there. She knew that hit to their tourism business would cripple the estate.

"What? You'll help? But - you hate Hermione, and you don't want me to marry her. I thought -"

"Are you trying to change my mind?" she asked with a smirk.

He smiled back at her and she was glad to be the cause of that expression on his face. "I just - thought I'd have to fight harder, that's all," he explained.

Narcissa nodded, then took a deep breath before saying what she should have told him months ago. "Draco, I love you, more than anything. More than my pure bloodline, or my reputation, or my standing in high society."

His eyes widened and she was a little disappointed that her words were a surprise to him, but she knew why. "But it is no secret that your father hates Hermione, and honestly, I'm not entirely sure why."

She stopped then and looked questioningly at him. "Do _you_ know why?" She studied his expression carefully, but he just shrugged.

"Isn't it obvious? Because she's a Muggleborn. Why? Is it something else?" Narcissa continued to watch him, but he didn't seem to be lying. And he'd always been terrible at lying to her. He didn't know of any alternate reason that Lucius would have for hating the girl. But she thought there was something else, she just couldn't imagine what it was. And if there was something, why would Lucius keep it from her and Draco?

She shook her head and continued with her previous thought. "We agreed at the end of the war that nothing was more important than you. And I reminded him, just yesterday, that I didn't risk my neck to save you, just to cut you out of my life a few years later."

She didn't add that the argument she and Lucius had been having the night before was about whether or not they'd attend Draco's wedding. Lucius refused to go, but she'd finally put her foot down and said he could go or not, but she would be there, and it would be on him to explain to everyone why he wasn't at her side.

She took a deep breath, then continued. "I'm sorry I've been closed off up until now. I've been trying to stay loyal to your father, but at some point, I need to ignore him and do what feels right. So I'll help you, of course, and more than that, I'd like to get to know Hermione, if she'd agree to it. Maybe after the wedding when you're less busy," she added.

"It's clear you love her, and while she's not who I would have chosen for you, I just want you to be happy. And I trust you wouldn't have picked her if she wasn't extraordinary. Plus, we'll both be Mrs. Malfoys, we can bond on that to start."

Draco rolled his eyes and Narcissa was confused. She'd thought her speech was quite lovely.

"Sorry, Mother, that wasn't meant for you. But - well - Hermione is hyphenating her name, and before you protest, believe me, I hate it as much as you do. But it's _her_ name, as I've been reminded countless times."

 _Hermione Granger-Malfoy?_ How awful. Draco was smiling though and she could tell he was remembering something. Maybe the disagreement they'd had about her name. He looked happy. Happier than she'd ever seen him. And she knew then that if Hermione was the reason he looked like this, then she was worth defending, Lucius be damned.

Draco grabbed her hand from across the table and when he spoke next his voice was shaking with emotion. "I love you, Mother. And I'm so happy to have your support. It means more than you could know." His eyes were lined with tears and she wanted to give him a hug, since he looked like he needed one. But instead she squeezed his hand and smiled back at him.

He let out another sigh and said, "It'll be nice to have at least one parent there who approves of the union."

"Her parents don't approve?" What would a bunch of Muggles have against Draco?

Draco finally let go of her hand and looked embarrassed. "No, they don't like me much. And they don't like you and father, either, so they may be rude to you. I'm sorry about that."

Before Narcissa could ask for clarification, Draco explained, "Hermione told them everything that happened in the war, before we got together. They know the part we played, they even know she was tortured in our house. So they have good reason to hate us."

Narcissa nodded. If their positions were reversed, she'd never forgive them. "Well, that sounds fair," she said eventually.

Draco's eyes were sad, and she saw they looked a bit haunted. She never considered it before now, but it must be so hard for him to be with Hermione. She was a constant reminder for him of the war. Was she aware of the suffering that loving her caused him? And was she really worth all that pain?

She watched Draco make his face blank and her heart broke for him. He had always been more emotional than his father and he tried so hard to hide it from everyone. But she knew he felt things deeply, just like she did.

But ever since the war, he'd completely closed himself off. She didn't blame him, it must have been torture for him to be forced to be a part of something so evil. He'd clearly never had the stomach for it. He wasn't able to compartmentalize his thoughts and feelings like Lucius could. And now she could see that he was finally letting some of those emotions he'd shut off out again.

"I'm proud of you, Draco," she said then.

He cocked his head in confusion, but still smiled. "Why?"

She just shrugged. "You look like a Malfoy, but you're a Black at heart. Don't try to hide your feelings too much, it's not healthy."

He nodded knowingly, then his expression changed and he looked nervous again. "Mother, speaking of Blacks, I should tell you that Andromeda is going to be at the wedding."

Narcissa's stomach dropped. She didn't know Draco was in contact with her sister. "Oh," was all she said.

Draco reached out for her hand again. "She asks me about you, every time I see her. And I know you're already going against Father to support me and Hermione, and maybe reaching out to Andromeda, on top of all that, is too much, but - well - when you're ready, I think she's ready too."

Now it was Narcissa who was trying to keep her emotions in check. It wouldn't be good to fall apart in the middle of the tearoom. She looked back at her son and noticed then how much he'd grown. He was happy, that much was clear, but also confident. Hermione had changed him, and Narcissa had missed that transformation. Well she was done with all that now.

She just wished she wasn't forced to choose between her husband and her son. Why couldn't she have them both?

* * *

_Present Time: April 2004 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Theo Nott **

Theo checked the pocket of his robes for the fiftieth time that day and confirmed the letter Draco had given him months ago was still there. He'd been replaying the conversation he'd had with Draco the night he'd given Theo this letter, but the more he thought about it, the less sense it all made to him.

_Hang on to this for me and bring it to my wedding in a few months._

_Okay. Why don't you bring it?_

_It's got to be you. It's spelled to open only for Hermione. Give it to her on our wedding day._

_Why can't you just tell her whatever is in this letter, right now?_

_Because she's not my- I just can't, okay?_

_You're not making any sense. She's not your what?_

_Can you just do this? Make sure she gets that before we get married, it's very important. Oh - and don't bring this conversation up to me again._

Theo was hoping that once he delivered the letter, this would all finally be explained to him. The only problem was, he had to deliver it to Hermione, but she'd been gone all day. He knew she was getting ready somewhere and he also knew this was an elaborate event for witches on their wedding day, but the ceremony was starting in just a few hours and he had to get this to her before then.

When Blaise left the room to go find them some alcohol, Theo decided to take a chance on bringing up the letter with Draco.

"Uh, so, was there anything you needed me to give Hermione?" he asked.

Draco looked back at him confused. "Like what?"

"A letter? Or note?" Theo was trying to act casual, but it was clearly not working. Draco just looked more confused, and now a little alarmed.

"You mean the card I sent with her gift? Did you not give that to Daphne this morning?" he swore under his breath and Theo shook his head.

"No, I gave her that. Never mind."

"What were you talking about then, what letter?"

But before Theo could respond, they were interrupted by a knock on the door. The person on the other side didn't wait to be admitted. And Theo wasn't surprised when he saw that it was Lucius.

"I need to speak to my son alone," Lucius said to Theo.

Theo looked back at Draco and made a look that said, _I'll stay here if you want me to._ But Draco shook his head. "It's okay, Theo, we do need to talk." He glared back at Lucius and Theo watched him straighten his spine even more than normal. He tried to shoot Draco a comforting smile, but he was focused completely on his father.

Theo left them alone, then paced the hall for a long time and wondered what they were talking about. Hermione, obviously, but he wondered what Lucius was saying. Couldn't he see that nothing he could or say or do would change Draco's mind? Even if he threatened to cut him off, Draco had told Theo and Blaise that he didn't care.

Theo wished he had that kind of courage. He still hadn't told his mother he was gay, but he'd told Daphne, so at least all his friends knew now. She'd been thrilled and immediately started listing off all the gay people she knew and asked if he wanted her to set him up with any of them. Theo had tried to let her down gently, explaining that he probably needed to tell his mother he was gay before he started openly dating men.

Lucius walked back into the hall and he looked livid, but also sad. Good. He obviously hadn't gotten his way. Theo sneered at him, but the older wizard didn't even acknowledge him as he walked by.

Draco was pacing the room when Theo returned and looked like he was on the verge of tears. He was raking his hands through his hair and was wild-looking when he fixed his eyes on Theo. "I need Hermione," he barked out, "is she here yet?"

"I - no. I've been checking all day but they haven't arrived yet. I think they're still getting ready."

"Shite!" Draco kicked a rubbish bin hard and Theo flinched. What the fuck? "I can't do this. I can't get married today." Draco was muttering quickly under his breath, then he looked over at Theo and switched to French. He must have forgotten that Theo also knew French and could still understand him.

" _But we do get married - we do,"_ he was saying in French, _"because I fucking remember it happening that way. And any minute I'm going to be taken away and I won't be able to do anything to stop it. Fuck!"_

Theo stopped in front of Draco and held him hard by the arms. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Is this about your father? Who fucking cares?! This is Hermione we're talking about. She is incredible and you love her. So, forget what he said and-"

"Forget?" Draco cut him off and pulled himself out of Theo's grasp. "Yeah, I wish I could fucking forget." He paused then and Theo saw his eyes glaze over. Then he swore and was speaking in French again. _"Merlin...I forgot...that's what I forgot…"_

Theo was getting really worried now. Draco was acting like a madman. And what was with all the French? Was it just because they've been here in France for a few days, so it was at the top of his mind? Draco didn't seem to have much control over himself right now.

"Draco, you're not making any sense."

Draco nodded, like he knew that, and didn't care.

"I have the letter," Theo pulled it out of his robes and showed Draco.

"What is this?" Draco asked, then he started when saw Hermione's name scrawled on the front and Theo wondered if he was recognizing his own handwriting.

"It's the letter you gave me, to give Hermione today," Theo explained, trying to keep his own rising panic in check. Someone in this room needed to stay sane.

Something seemed to click for Draco and Theo wondered if he was finally remembering that night at the Halloween Ball. Maybe he had had too much to drink and had blacked out, and it was finally coming back to him.

"Yes," he pushed the letter back into Theo's hands. "Give this to her, please." He stopped and glared at his arm, which Theo had just seen flicker. Or had that been a trick of the light?

"Fuck!" Draco swore again, then focused back on Theo. "In a minute, tell me not to marry her today. Remind me how insistent I was that I _cannot_ marry Hermione. Not today at least. Then find her and give her this letter."

"Mate, you're not making any-"

Just then Draco disappeared. "Fuck!" Theo yelled and jumped back, but before he could process what had happened, Draco was back. But he was wearing different clothes, and he wasn't frantic or upset anymore. When he saw Theo, his eyes widened in surprise.

* * *

_Present Time: April 2004 / Draco's Time: October 2003_

* * *

** Theo Nott **

"Shite, why didn't I leave the room?" Draco asked Theo.

Theo had no idea what to say. He just stared back at him with his mouth hanging open. He watched Draco scan the room, then look out the window and his eyes widened. Then he checked the date with his wand and swore under his breath. He finally turned back to Theo. "Is it my wedding day?"

Theo was still silent and Draco ignored him and began walking around the room, searching for something.

"What the fuck just happened?" Theo asked when he finally found his voice.

"You tell me," Draco said in a distracted tone while he continued his search. He was peering in the closet now and was investigating a wardrobe bag.

"You were just yelling about how you can't marry Hermione. And you were insistent that I tell you that you told me that. Then you disappeared and reappeared and now you're looking - and acting - completely different. So, I repeat - what the _fuck_ is going on?"

Draco shrugged, then held out the open wardrobe bag to Theo. "Are these the robes I was wearing?"

Theo just nodded back at him, then he remembered when they'd gone shopping for their robes, Draco had insisted on buying two sets, just in case. Had he known this would happen?

"What was I saying? Uh - before I changed my clothes?"

"You said to tell you not to marry Hermione and remind you how insistent you were that you not marry her today."

Draco frowned, "Did I not say why?"

"How do you not fucking know?! It was you, just a few minutes ago."

Draco dropped his face in his hand and sighed heavily. "I'll explain later, Theo, but I don't have time now. Can you go find Hermione while I change? I have to see her before we get married. And I know there are rules about that and all, but I don't care, I'll do it blind-folded. But it's imperative that I talk to her."

Theo nodded and was more confused now than he had been a few minutes ago, which was saying quite a lot. He left this odd Draco alone and when he disappeared into the hall, he pulled the letter out and tried to open it, but it burned his hand. Fucking Draco, his spell work had always been impeccable.

Out the window, he saw Daphne rush by and ran to the door to chase after her. He had no idea what was happening, but both versions of Draco seemed to think it was very important that he find Hermione, so Theo would do that. And maybe she'd finally explain what the hell was going on.

* * *

** Hermione Granger **

Hermione was admiring her appearance in the mirror when she heard someone knock on the door. "I'll get it," Daphne stood, "you just stay there and try to relax. And soak in how gorgeous you look."

Hermione smiled over at Ginny who nodded back at her encouragingly. "She's right, you look incredible. You don't even need me standing next to you, looking like a gross giant, to make you look better. But here I am." She was patting her large belly and Hermione was glad she'd made it long enough to attend the wedding, though she knew Ginny was uncomfortable and just wanted the baby out at this point.

"Even Draco's mother was speechless when she saw you," Ginny added. Hermione was about to respond, but her attention was drawn away when she heard yelling coming from the hall. She heard Daphne arguing with a man, but before she could go investigate, Theo charged through the door with his wand raised.

"Hermione, we need to talk, alone," he said in a rush.

"Theo, I already said no," Daphne followed him into the room and had her own wand out now, but Theo ignored her and looked straight at Hermione.

"I saw Draco's neat trick of changing his appearance, in seconds, without the use of a wand."

Ginny and Daphne were confused but Hermione knew exactly what that meant. She tried to keep her face straight, then turned to Daphne and Ginny. "Do you two mind leaving us alone?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Omg, what the eff is going on?
> 
> The original scenes from the time jump at the beginning of this chapter are in Chapter 17. And the time jump where Draco went to the Halloween Ball and was looking for Theo is spread across Chapters 25 and 26.
> 
> Many thanks to my beta reader Lancashire Witch for reading through my ramblings as I try my best to keep this complicated story straight. You can follow me over on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson to see aesthetics and a few behind the scenes drabbles for each chapter. Thanks so much for reading, please let me know what you think.
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Thur, Dec-17.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

_When I used to look above,_

_all I saw was sky;_

_and every song_

_that I would sing,_

_I sung not knowing why._

_All I felt and all I thought_

_was only just because;_

_never was it ever you,_

_until it was all there was._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: April 2004 / Draco's Time: October 2003_

* * *

** Hermione Granger **

Daphne tried to argue when Hermione dismissed her and Ginny from the room, but when she saw the serious looks on Hermione and Theo's faces, she complied and marched angrily into the hall. Ginny followed her with a shrug. Hermione guessed she was used to being left out of things since she was married to an Auror who commonly had to keep his work confidential.

Once they were gone, Hermione cast a silencing charm on the door, then turned to face Theo. He looked very agitated, then she remembered Draco's time jump from last October. He said he'd appeared right in front of Theo. But he'd left out one very important detail. That it was on their bloody wedding day.

How could he not have told her? He knew this whole time she'd been planning the wedding that he was going to miss it? Tears were flooding her eyes now and when Theo noticed his face fell. "Fuck, what is it?"

She shook her head and tried to blot her eyes carefully with her fingers. Theo handed her a handkerchief and she turned back to the mirror and carefully wiped the tears away. Daphne would kill her if she smudged her makeup. "Tell me what you wanted to say, Theo."

Surprisingly, he handed her a letter. "What is this?"

"A letter," he said unhelpfully.

"Yes, I see that. Who gave it to you?"

"Draco."

"Which Draco?" she asked.

He frowned. "Odd choice of words."

She sighed, then started again, "How about you tell me everything you know, okay? Let's have a seat." She motioned for the loveseat Ginny had previously occupied and they both sat down.

Theo explained how it all started for him the night of the Halloween Ball. Draco had given him this letter to give to Hermione on their wedding day. Okay, so that was the Draco from her time, the one she was supposed to marry today. She was dying to open the letter but would wait until Theo was gone.

Then Theo said it was like Draco had forgotten about that whole night. He hadn't even remembered that he'd caught Theo kissing a bloke. That also made sense to Hermione. That was something the Draco from this time had witnessed, not the Draco from the past, so he wouldn't have "remembered" anything from that night, since he wasn't there. She nodded along. "Okay, and what happened today?"

Theo told her how Draco had been fine until he'd talked to his father. Hermione hitched her breath. "When I came back into the room, he'd gone mad."

"What? Why?"

"He didn't say. He was just muttering to himself in French about how he couldn't marry you, but he knew he did, and he knew he'd have to leave. It was incredibly confusing. Then I mentioned the letter and he finally seemed to remember it."

Hermione nodded again. Okay, so his father had told him something that upset him and he wanted to call the wedding off? She needed to read the letter.

"Then he disappeared and came back but was different and didn't seem to remember what had just happened. He said he needs to see you though. Or - well - talk to you. He said he'd do it blindfolded if he had to."

"Right. Okay. I want to talk to him too. Can you bring him here? We can, uh, talk through the door, just set it up, will you?"

Theo was looking very concerned and he placed a hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay, Hermione?"

She nodded and smiled.

"Can you tell me what's going on?" he pressed.

She shook her head. "I will, I promise, but not today, okay?"

He turned to leave but paused in the doorway and looked back at her. "You look incredible, Hermione. Draco is extremely lucky, and I'm sure all the rambling about not wanting to marry you was nothing."

A tear finally fell from her eye and she bent her head to wipe it away quickly with the handkerchief she was still holding. "Thank you, Theo. Can you get him? I really want to talk to him."

"I will."

When he left, she heard voices in the hall, but ignored them. Her focus was on the letter in her hands. She stared at it for a long time, and when she finally opened it, she felt a release of magic. She sighed, then braced herself before reading Draco's words.

_Hermione,_

_Our future is not as happy as we'd hoped. And I don't want you to bond yourself to me without knowing what you're getting into, but I can't explain it all in a letter._

_I want you to postpone the wedding and wait for me to come back. I want you to have all the facts before you decide to marry me. So please, don't go through with this wedding today. Remember the promise you made me? You don't have to do things because that's how we think it turns out in the future. You have a choice._

_I love you, more than anything, and I'm so sorry this had to happen today._

_-Draco_

She read the letter three more times, then folded it and hid it in the bottom of her beaded bag. She tried to remember everything she could from that time jump in October. Draco had been agitated, and said he needed to see Theo. Apparently it was so he could give him this letter.

And there was something else, what had he said? When she'd asked him what was going on, he'd said: " _I should tell you, I really really should. But I'm a coward."_ But she'd said that was okay since they'd agreed not to discuss the future, and he'd promised he'd tell his Hermione when he saw her again. That was her, and now she wasn't sure she wanted to know.

There was a knock on the door and she heard Draco's voice on the other side. She caught herself before opening the door, because all she wanted now was for him to hold her.

"Hermione?" he asked again.

She leaned her head against the door. "Are you alone out there?"

"Yes."

"What time?" she asked, though she already knew the answer.

"October 2003. I proposed to you just a few months ago, and now it's our wedding day." She heard him sigh and from a thump on the door guessed he'd leaned his head against it.

"I'm so sorry, Hermione. We can call it all off. Feign illness or something. If we're lucky, we'll only need to postpone a day or so. I'm sure you'd prefer to marry your Draco."

Hermione bit her lip and looked over at her bag. Her Draco didn't want to marry her, did he? Or, well, he wanted to tell her something first that he was sure would change her mind. "Draco, I-"

She cut off. She should tell him what was going on, but she had no idea where to start.

"What is it, Hermione?" He could tell something was wrong, even through a door. She reminded herself that this Draco was very close to hers. This Draco loved her deeply and wanted to marry her. Would it be so bad to marry him instead?

She thought back to the end of that time jump in October when her Draco had returned from the future. He'd been giddy and was reluctant to give her details about where he'd been. He hadn't even told her the date. And she remembered the kiss then. How he said he'd kissed her a few times but had had a good reason for it.

Well, she assumed a wedding ceremony was a good reason to kiss her. And it would explain why he was so happy. Did that mean they'd go through with this today? It wouldn't be so bad to marry this version of him. He had proposed, hadn't he?

But what about her Draco? He'd be livid.

_I want you to postpone the wedding and wait for me to come back. I want you to have all the facts before you decide to marry me._

Hermione shook her head. Draco worried too much about the future. She didn't care what his father had told him, she wanted to marry him regardless. She was sure there was nothing anyone could tell her that would change her mind about it. Then she and Draco could face whatever was coming together, as husband and wife.

And he'd never said in the letter that he didn't want to get married anymore. He was just worried she wouldn't want it. "Hermione?" She realized she'd been quiet for a long time.

"Draco. Do you remember what we talked about after you proposed? About how sometimes things are bad in the future?"

"Yes, I remember. Are you - reconsidering?" She could tell he was struggling to keep his voice steady and she spread her palm on the door, wishing again that she could touch him.

"No," she said in a firm voice. "You said we would fight and go through hardships, but that's normal, isn't it? And we can't live our lives constantly worrying about something bad that may or may not happen in the future, can we?"

Draco was silent for a while, then he said, "I've been to the future when things are very bad. But other times, after those dates, we've been madly in love again. Sometimes I think this is an incredibly fucked up way to live. Especially on a day like today when it's ruining your wedding. But other times, I like it."

"You do?" she'd never heard him say he liked the time jumping before.

"When things are bad in our time - like that month you weren't talking to me - I can jump to a happy future and see that everything will turn out okay. But sometimes, well, it goes the other way. I'll be enjoying a blissful day with you, then jump into a fight when we are barely talking to each other. But those times are good too - I think. They remind me to cherish every beautiful moment I get to spend with you."

He sighed and she wished she could open the door and hug him. Who cared about stupid traditions? But she stopped herself. The last thing she needed today was more bad luck. "I don't know if I'm making any sense," he finished then. "Did that answer your question?"

"It did," she replied. "And I want to marry you today. I wouldn't - if we weren't engaged in your time, but if you don't mind, I'd like to go through with this." She opened the door and reached her hand out and relaxed when she felt him link his fingers with hers.

It was the perfect fit. They were meant to be together, she was sure of it. "Okay Hermione, if this is really what you want."

"It is." She smiled and looked back at the bag, then resolved not to think about the letter for the rest of the day. She knew a storm was coming, but she wanted to take this Draco's advice and try to cherish the beautiful moments while she could.

* * *

** Harry Potter **

As soon as Harry received Hermione's Patronus, he ran as fast as he could to the building where he knew the girls were getting ready before the ceremony. He charged into the room he'd dropped Ginny off in earlier and looked around frantically. "What is it? Is it Ginny? Is the baby coming?"

"Oh shoot!" Hermione exclaimed and she was laughing to herself, but Harry was still wondering where the hell Ginny was.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I should have known you would assume that. No, Ginny is fine. And I've already told that baby multiple times that he is to stay in there until the end of the week."

" _He_?!"

Hermione's eyes widened in shock. "Or she - no one knows at this point, do they?"

Harry narrowed his eyes at her and growled, "With one notable exception."

"I - uh - it was just a figure of speech Harry, really, I don't know, I -"

"It's fine," Harry could tell she was lying, but he didn't care that she'd given away the secret. He was going to have a boy. And he'd already had multiple reassurances from Malfoy that the baby - _a son_ \- and Ginny were going to be just fine. He let out a large sigh and leaned against the mantle of the fireplace.

Then he remembered Hermione's Patronus that had summoned him here urgently. He doubted it was so she could let slip he was having a boy. "What did you need me for?"

Hermione was sitting on the loveseat, wringing a handkerchief in her hands. Now that he looked at her, he could tell she was upset and nervous. He looked around the room again. Why was she alone? Something was clearly wrong.

Then she told him about Malfoy. She explained the letter he'd written after talking to Lucius, then given to Theo in the past to deliver to her today. She told him how the Malfoy she was about to marry was from a different time. And she finally told him about Malfoy getting obliviated over a year ago. Harry started at that.

"Someone obliviated him?! You know that's illegal. Why didn't you tell me?"

Hermione shook her head. "I was sure it was Lucius and that he'd done it because he'd slipped Draco an extraction potion and didn't want him to remember. And we'd already handled it. I didn't want to get the whole Auror office involved. But now…"

"Can I see the letter?"

Hermione hesitated, but Harry stared back at her intently and after a few moments she went and retrieved it from her bag and handed it to Harry. He read it quickly.

_Our future is not as happy as we'd hoped. And I don't want you to bond yourself to me without knowing what you're getting into._

What the hell had Lucius told him? Harry's mind immediately thought of some arcane pureblood curse that would be activated if Malfoy married a Muggleborn. He looked back at Hermione and she was patting her eyes with the handkerchief. "What are you going to do?" he asked her.

She dropped her hands and looked back at him defiantly. "I'm going to marry him."

Harry looked down at the letter. "And this? You're not concerned?"

"Of course I'm concerned. But - if we were a normal couple, without all this time jumping, we wouldn't know about the future. Draco worries so much about making me unhappy, because of our history, but no one is guaranteed happiness. I just know I want to be with him when I face whatever that letter is talking about."

"Why don't I just go find Lucius and ask him about this?"

Hermione shook her head. "I don't want to know about my future. And it says there, whatever Lucius is telling Draco is about the future. He must have learned something from a future Draco, or maybe it's something he's planning to do. But if I know, I may drive myself crazy trying to stop it and it may just be inevitable. I don't - I don't want to know. But when Draco gets back he's going to insist on telling me," she waved toward the letter Harry was still holding.

"And you're sure Lucius doesn't mean you any harm?"

She nodded. "Draco said he talked to a version of me from pretty far in the future and we think I knew about all this. That version of me told him we were safe, and no one was threatening us. And Draco said I didn't look scared. Just...sad."

Harry watched Hermione, at a complete loss for what to say. She looked so stressed. He didn't blame her though. He knew what it felt like to have a dark cloud looming in the future that you had no control over. Harry felt so bad for both Hermione and Malfoy.

Then he remembered that Hermione was about to marry a different version of her fiancé. This time travel business was so complicated, but unfortunately they couldn't end it without losing each other. But Harry could tell the time jumping was taking its toll on Hermione.

Even now, when she looked more beautiful than Harry had ever seen her, he could see the anxiety underneath. The tension in her shoulders, her furrowed brow, taut jaw, and chewed-up fingernails. It was her wedding day and she should be happy, not stressed.

"Harry?"

Harry went to join her on the loveseat. "Yeah?"

"Is it bad that I'm glad he time jumped today?"

"What do you mean?"

"Lucius is awful, and he tried to ruin my wedding. He nearly succeed, then, well, Draco disappeared. If I postpone this and wait for Draco to come back, he'll tell me something upsetting. And even if I agree to marry him anyway, which I'm sure I will, the knowledge of that secret will taint the whole day. But now that he's gone, I have a shot at having a happy wedding day with a groom who's not haunted by whatever his father told him."

She was crying now and bent her head but Harry picked it up and started wiping her tears as best he could with the handkerchief she'd been holding.

"Is it so bad to want a nice wedding day, after everything I've been through?"

Harry stopped trying to wipe her tears, since his own eyes were wet now and instead, he placed his hands on either side of her face and nodded reassuringly.

"You deserve a perfect wedding day, Hermione. And the universe seems to agree."

"What?"

"Well, the timing of Malfoy's jump was awfully convenient, wouldn't you say? And he was replaced with a version of himself that not only loves you, but has already proposed."

Hermione smiled widely and he was glad to see that her tears were subsiding. "When Draco and I first started dating I told him it felt like the universe was conspiring to bring us together."

"What did he say to that?"

"He said the universe is a lot to fight against, even for me. So I should just stop."

Harry finally dropped his hands from Hermione's face, then he pulled her in for a hug, trying his best not to wrinkle her dress. "I know what it feels like to live with the threat of a dark future, as I'm sure you remember. And I think you're doing the right thing by trying to ignore it. You can't let it control your life. Things are going to turn out a certain way, and all you can do in the meantime is try to make decisions that feel right."

Harry pulled back so he could see Hermione's face. "Does marrying Malfoy today feel right to you, Hermione?"

"Yes," she responded quickly and without a hint of hesitation.

Harry nodded. "Well good. Then we should probably get you cleaned up."

She laughed, then stood up and went to the mirror. "Daphne is going to kill me! Do you mind sending her and Ginny back in? But I don't know where they went when I-"

"I'll find them, you just try to relax."

Hermione nodded and took a seat again. When Harry got to the door, she stopped him. "Harry, can you keep Lucius away from me and Draco today?"

Harry gave her a wicked grin. "I was already planning on it."

"Thank you. And I love you, Harry. You're an amazing friend and are going to be an even better father."

"To a son, right?"

"No comment," she responded with a small smile, but he could tell by the look in her eyes he was right.

* * *

** Hermione Granger **

Any lingering doubts Hermione had about marrying a version of Draco from another time vanished as she made her way down the aisle toward him. He looked incredibly handsome in navy dress robes and the radiant smile on his face perfectly matched the feeling of joy flowing through her. As she got closer, she saw that his eyes were watering and a single tear fell down his cheek.

Hermione caught Daphne's eye and the blonde witch winked at her. There had been a bet going between their friends about whether Draco would cry or not. It looked like Ginny, Ron, and Blaise - who were certain Draco would never cry in public - had lost.

When she finally reached Draco, she was reminded so vividly of that night at the Halloween Ball when he'd been wearing this same outfit. She'd almost forgotten how affectionate and playful he'd been that night after his talk with Theo. But that happy mood didn't match the tone of his letter.

Maybe he'd thought that once he handed that letter to Theo, that act would set into motion events that would ultimately cause Hermione to change her mind about marrying him, which would alter the memory he already had of marrying her today. But after giving Theo the letter, his memory of today must have stayed intact. And maybe deep down, Draco was relieved, because the whole time he hadn't really wanted her to postpone it.

Draco was looking at her curiously and she turned her brain off, for once, and focused back on him. She'd decided to forget about the letter and enjoy the day, she reminded herself.

"Are you still okay with this?" he whispered almost inaudibly and she smiled and nodded, then she grabbed his hands and they both faced the officiant.

Hermione almost laughed out loud when they got to the part of the ceremony when they were supposed to recite their own vows. Draco looked back at her panicked and she remembered then that he had no idea they were going to do this.

It wasn't typical to write your own vows in wizarding wedding ceremonies and she remembered being surprised by how easily he'd agreed to this deviation from tradition when she'd initially brought it up. But he certainly looked like he wanted to protest now.

"You agreed to this," she hissed.

"When?" he whispered back.

"December."

"Well that wasn't me, was it?"

"Too late to argue now." Hermione saw that all their friends and family were looking at them oddly and tried to shoot them a reassuring smile.

"I have nothing prepared. It's going to be a disaster."

Hermione shrugged, "At least they won't sound overly rehearsed."

Draco sneered at her, but she could see a hint of a smile underneath and simply rolled her eyes in response.

"Is there a problem?" the officiant asked.

Draco and Hermione shared a smile. It was perfect, really, that they would be bickering in the middle of their wedding ceremony. It wouldn't have felt right otherwise.

"I'm ready," Draco said in a clear voice. He took a deep breath, then faced Hermione and took both of her hands in his.

"Hermione," he paused for a long time and she tried to keep from laughing. This really wasn't very fair and she could tell his mind was racing, probably trying to pick out his next words.

"Okay," he started again. "Before you came into my life, I was just going through the motions. Marching indifferently toward a future that had been laid out for me since I was born. I'd attend meetings, half listening. Hang out with my friends, not truly present. And go through the actions of the day, not really knowing why."

Hermione felt tears spring into her eyes and she tried to blink them back. "Then you came into my life, and everything suddenly made sense. My entire being, all my thoughts (day and night) were consumed with you. Daphne told me once that's what it meant to love someone, and I thought it sounded obsessive and a bit unhealthy, but I get it now."

Hermione saw Draco's eyes flash toward Daphne, who she knew was standing behind her. "You've given my life purpose, Hermione, and I promise to spend the rest of my days devoted to you. I love you."

Now it was Hermione's turn and she took a deep breath, trying to compose herself before she had to speak. She'd written her vows ages ago and had been practicing them for weeks, but she decided to ignore those today. It was only fair that she speak from the heart just as Draco had.

"You told me once you didn't want to be the perfect wizard I'd hoped for, but the one I didn't see coming. The person I sort of hated but was also inexplicably drawn to." Draco smiled widely at that and she paused to return it.

"Well, I think that sums it up rather perfectly, because I certainly didn't see you coming. And when you reentered my life, very randomly, and insisted on being my friend, it was - well - alarming, and made absolutely no sense. But I couldn't deny the feeling that maybe in another life (or another time) we'd been together. And being with you was...right." Draco squeezed her hands and she smiled again.

"Nobody knows what the future holds for them, but I know, with more certainty than ever before, that I want you by my side, to face whatever is coming. You're - you're mine Draco, and I'm yours, and we're supposed to be together. And I'm so excited to start my life with you."

She saw another tear fall from his eye and tried to keep from falling apart herself. The officiant was about to move on to the part of the ceremony where they would recite the traditional vows, but Hermione interrupted him. "Wait, I forgot, one more thing." She turned to Draco and he was cocking an eyebrow at her. "I love you."

* * *

** Blaise Zabini **

Blaise was sitting down at the reception, glaring at Daphne who was dancing with her new boyfriend at the other end of the patio. He was completely oblivious to the gorgeous view of the sun setting over the rolling hills and the small, floating candles that were appearing all around the wedding attendees.

Draco took a seat next to him, but Blaise didn't take his eyes off of Daphne. "That," he cocked his head toward Daphne and the stupid bloke, "is your wife's fault."

Draco leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "Is it?" Blaise looked over at him for a second, long enough to notice his annoyingly smug grin, before going back to watching the couple.

"She convinced Daphne to stop waiting around for me, then Daphne came to my flat and gave this big speech before vomiting on my rug. I heard nothing for months and thought it was just a drunken outburst. And now she's with that idiot and apparently has been dating him in secret for months. But I'm sure you already know all of this." Blaise sighed and drained his drink, then caught the attention of a passing waitress and motioned for her to bring him another.

The waitress was fit and he wondered if he'd be able to convince her to come back to his hotel with him that night. But as he thought this, it didn't hold the same feeling of anticipation it normally would. He just felt sick.

"When was the speech?" Draco asked.

Blaise looked back at him confused. Surely Hermione, or even Daphne, had told him everything. But Draco did this sometimes; forgot huge events. Theo had told Blaise how he'd forgotten about the time he'd found Theo kissing a bloke. Blaise figured that Draco suffered from a bit of brain damage from the war. He knew he'd been tortured many times by the Dark Lord and his aunt. "November," Blaise finally answered.

Draco nodded, "Well, Hermione was right, and so was Daphne. You've treated her like shite for too long."

"Sod off."

"I think I will." He stood up but before he left, he crouched next to Blaise, "Do not tell Hermione off today, I don't care how angry you are with her. If you do, I'll hex you. And she probably will too."

"I'm more afraid of the latter," Blaise grumbled.

"You should be. And lay off Daphne too. She finally looks happy."

Draco turned and Blaise caught his arm. "Are you really leaving?"

Draco nodded and motioned a few tables over to where Potter was sitting with his pregnant wife and waving for Draco to join them.

"You're the one who told me to sod off," Draco replied.

"And you're really going to choose Potter over me? We've been friends for ages and I'm clearly hurting here."

"Sorry, mate, but look at them, they're smiling. And you look like you're about to off yourself. This is an easy decision." Draco clapped Blaise on the shoulder. "I am sorry, but you kind of did this to yourself. You'll be fine though."

"But you're still leaving," Blaise whined.

"Yep." Before he could protest Draco was gone. When Draco reached the other table, Blaise saw Potter put a hand on his shoulder and lean in and whisper something, which made Draco laugh. Then there was a flash of a camera and Blaise averted his eyes.

He scanned the room and saw Lucius looking toward the dance floor with an expression of utter loathing. At least Blaise wasn't the only one here not enjoying himself. He looked to where Lucius was glaring and saw Hermione dancing with Longbottom.

Then Blaise went back to looking at Daphne and that stupid American bloke Astoria's husband had set her up with. She caught him looking at her and frowned and Blaise's stomach dropped. What did that mean? Did she still love him? Did she wish she was dancing with him and not that idiot American? Did he even care?

Daphne wasn't paying attention to him anymore and he stood up and marched out toward the kitchen. He'd find that waitress and see if she could help him forget about Daphne.

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

Later that night, Hermione and Draco were laying in bed, facing each other with their hands clasped. She was running her fingers over his wedding band.

"I can't believe I'm not having sex on my wedding night," he moaned.

"Absolutely not!" she pulled her hands out of his grasp, but he grabbed them back quickly.

"So you'll marry me, but not sleep with me?"

"Right, I'm sure the other versions of ourselves would love that," she snapped.

Draco sighed. "I know, I'm kidding, Hermione. I would never do that."

He raised his hand and pushed a stray curl behind her ear.

"You were perfect today, Draco."

He smiled. "You _are_ perfect, every day. I love you so much." He leaned in and gave her a kiss on the nose and she scrunched her face and laughed in response.

When Draco laid back on his pillow, he asked, "Do you remember how long this time jump lasted for me?"

Hermione thought back to the day after the Halloween Ball. The future Draco hadn't left until the following night. "About a day and a half.

"So, we have almost the full day tomorrow. I'm sure you had plans," he added teasingly.

"Well yes, I did. Most people, besides the Potters (of course), are staying on for a few days to tour the area. I have a list of things I'd like to see nearby," she paused to push him since he was rolling his eyes at her, "then we have dinner plans with my parents."

Draco frowned at the mention of her parents and she grabbed his chin. "Before you make that face, I don't have reservations until late tomorrow, so I think the other Draco will be back by then. So you're off the hook."

"For now," he smirked and she laughed at that. "Though honestly, they weren't all bad, at least from what I could tell. Though I have nothing to compare to, since I haven't met them yet."

"They are better than they were at Christmas, as you'll soon find out, and tomorrow we're going to talk about them returning to England, so I hope all that goes well. It's probably better that I have the other Draco back for that, since he remembers the previous conversations we've had with them."

At the thought of her Draco returning, and the bad news he'd insist on telling her, Hermione frowned. Draco stroked her cheek. "What is it? You look sad all of a sudden."

Hermione turned to look up at the ceiling so she didn't have to look in Draco's eyes while she lied to him. "I feel bad for my Draco, that's all. I wish he didn't have to miss the wedding."

"I understand, but he didn't miss it, he just attended a few months early." Hermione looked over at him and smiled and he shifted closer to her and laid his head on her chest.

"Did I really not tell you I was going to miss the wedding?" he asked.

"You didn't."

He sighed heavily. "Wow, that's going to be a hard secret to keep. Especially given how clever you are."

"It won't be as hard as you think. I suspected something, but was determined not to know, so whenever anything odd came up, I pushed it out of my mind."

Draco lifted his head so he was looking at her. "I don't know how you do it. There's this information out there about your own life - but you refused to find it. It's the one thing you do that doesn't match the rest of your personality."

Hermione nodded. "I know what you mean. I guess, after the war, I'm just determined to be happy, and I think ignoring the future is the key. You should try it sometime," she added with a smile.

His expression turned serious. "I do. I try. It's harder for me."

"Why?"

Draco laid his head back down on her chest before answering. "I feel like it's my job to take care of you. I missed so many opportunities to do so in the past. And now, I've been granted this ability to see things coming. I feel like I need to use that advantage to protect you. To show you I can, and will - to prove that I'm different from who I was before."

Hermione began running her fingers through Draco's hair. "You don't have to prove anything to me, Draco."

He was quiet for a while and she thought he was finished talking. Then he said in a soft voice, "Maybe I need to prove it to myself."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: To everyone who thought all their questions would be answered with this update...sorry, but you should know how things go by now. I like keep you all in the dark (or as much in the dark as Draco and Hermione are). But wasn't that a nice wedding? I'm so excited I get to put "Hermione Granger-Malfoy" at the top of all the Hermione scenes now! These two are so darn cute, but unfortunately we have that looming dark future…
> 
> The scenes where Draco time jumped to the Halloween Ball where spread across Chapters 25 and 26.
> 
> Thanks as always to my beta reader Lancashire Witch. When I complained my story was getting too long she assured me it was perfect and that she'd keep reading as long as I kept writing. So I'd say I'm primarily writing for her now ;).
> 
> Come over to Tumblr (Alexandra-Emerson) and to see drabbles and aesthetics for all the chapters. Thank you all for your continued support for this story!
> 
> The next Chapter will be posted Sat, Dec-19. Maybe then we'll finally find out what's going on. Or maybe not...


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

_It was how we began. Your mouth against mine, your fingers tracing along the back of my neck._

_You asked me to imagine what it must have been like, for the first two people who fell in love; before the word_ love _was conceived._

_You said it felt like that for you. Like we existed in a time before love - as though we were waiting for the word to catch up to the feeling._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: April 2004 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

When Draco returned to his time, he appeared in a hotel room with Hermione, who was packing up a suitcase on the bed. He closed the distance between them in two paces and pulled her into a passionate kiss.

Draco buried one hand in her hair and used the other one to grab her waist and pull her closer to him. He tasted wine on her tongue and smiled inwardly at the memory of visiting that vineyard, which was just an hour ago for her, but months ago for him.

He moved to her neck, then began trailing kissing down to her collarbone. But when he got there her pesky blouse was keeping him from going any further, so he began unbuttoning it but was surprised when she pushed him away. He cocked an eyebrow at her, then rolled his eyes. Was she really going to deny him so they could finish packing?

"I'd like to point out that although you've only been waiting a day to consummate this marriage, it's been _months_ for me. So can we please finish this chore later?" he asked, motioning toward the open suitcases.

Hermione didn't laugh. She didn't even smile. Her expression was completely serious. That snapped Draco out of his playful mood and he dropped his hands from her. "What is it?"

She wrapped her hands around his neck and laid her head against his chest. He felt her take a huge sigh before speaking, "Don't get me wrong, Draco, I've missed you so much and I want to do that too. But don't you think we should talk about the letter and whatever it was you discussed with your father, first?"

Draco pushed her back gently so he could see her face. "What?"

Her eyes widened in alarm. "Your father talked to you yesterday, right before you time jumped. Then you went to the Halloween Ball last October and gave Theo a letter to deliver to me on my wedding day," she explained.

A chill passed through Draco and settled into the pit of his stomach. He stepped away from Hermione and walked backward until his legs touched the bed. Then he took a seat while his mind raced through the events of the past two days.

Hermione was watching him with a look of extreme worry and her eyes were searching his intently. When she joined him on the bed he took her hand in his. "What is it, Draco?"

"I have no memory of talking to my father. And no memory of a letter or seeing Theo at the Halloween Ball. I didn't notice it until just now, but I don't remember the details of disappearing and reappearing in the past at the beginning of the last jump." Hermione tightened her grip on his hand.

"And Theo told me at Christmas that I caught him kissing a bloke at the Halloween Ball, and at the time I figured it was my future self who saw him. But I don't have a memory of that." He looked over at Hermione and her eyes were scared, which mirrored how he felt.

"So, it's like last time, you were obliviated," she whispered.

Draco shook his head and his stomach turned and he felt like he was going to be sick. "That's the scary part. Until you mentioned those memories just now, I didn't even notice the gaps. If it was obliviation, it was done by an expert. The extraction of the memories was seamless. The last time it was so obvious, since I had a raging headache and couldn't remember anything from a rather large period of time. This was precise. Whoever did it only took the memories they wanted me to forget and left everything else so I wouldn't notice my mind had been tampered with."

"But that type of obliviation could only be accomplished by a Legilimens. They'd need to be able to read your mind so they could add specific boundaries to the memory charm."

Draco nodded. It was very convenient having such a smart partner. He never had to explain a thing to her. If anything, it was the other way around.

"And your father...he's a Legilimens?"

Draco nodded again. "My mother too, actually, though I think we both know, between the two of them, who's the most likely suspect here."

He looked over at Hermione and pulled her close. He felt lost, and out of control, and taken advantage of and needed the comfort that the feeling of having her in his arms always provided. When he regained his composure, he asked, "Can you tell me what I forgot?"

She explained what Theo had told her. About his talk with his father right before the wedding and his alarming reaction. Then how he'd sought Theo out during his last time jump and given him a letter for Hermione. Then Hermione said how she'd noticed he seemed happier after talking to Theo, but now she knew why. He'd been obliviated sometime between his talk with Theo and when he returned to her in the ballroom. And whatever had been bothering him had been removed from his mind.

"Can I see the letter?" he asked.

Hermione stood up and went to get her beaded bag. When she handed him the folded note, he could tell she was nervous. He took the letter and read it quickly and knew instantly why she'd been hesitant to show this to him. She hadn't postponed the wedding, like he'd asked.

When he looked back up at her she rushed into an explanation. "Draco, I'm sorry. I know you told me to wait, but I didn't, obviously. And it may seem like I was taking advantage of the time jump, but - well - I _know_ there is nothing you could tell me that would change my mind about wanting to be with you. And I just wanted a good wedding day, and I knew if I waited then-"

"Please, you don't need to explain, Hermione," Draco pressed his fingers against her lips. "I'm glad we're married and I'm so happy that you got the beautiful wedding day you deserved. This -" he looked down at the letter he was still holding in his other hand, "-it seems like I'm trying to warn you off. But I should have known you'd ignore it. All that time spent with Potter, you've lost the skill for self-preservation."

She laughed hollowly, then she leaned against him and he wrapped his arm around her.

"Are you scared?" she asked after a while.

Draco sighed. "Are you?"

"Yes."

"Good, I don't feel so bad about being scared too, then," he replied.

"You're allowed to be scared when your father is obliviating you for an unknown reason."

Draco just nodded. When she said what was happening out loud like that, it sounded worse somehow and he felt sick again.

"It's got to be related to whatever was going on the first time you were obliviated, right?" she continued. Draco was barely paying attention, but she liked to think out loud and he didn't mind it.

"Why was the spell different? Maybe you resisted the first time, so he shot off whatever we could manage? And maybe this most recent time he caught you off guard and disarmed you, so was able to do a better job? But what is it he's telling you? And why not obliviate you yesterday? Was it because he knew he'd already done it in the past? How much does your father know about all the time jumps?"

Draco was shaking his head. He was usually very good at keeping up with all the different timelines, but now his brain felt muddled and his thoughts were blurring together. Was that an after effect of the memory charm? His chest clenched at the thought. "Maybe I should just talk to him," Draco said once she was finished speaking.

"No," Hermione said forcefully. "I don't want you to seek him out."

"Why not, Hermione?" Draco knew she didn't like knowing things about the future, but sticking to that stance now seemed ridiculous. But he knew better than to use that word. He was trying to think of a better way to put it, but his mind was moving slowly.

Hermione was glaring at him and he could tell she was ready for a fight. He placed a hand on her shoulder and took a deep breath, hoping to calm the both of them.

"Just hear me out, please. This is clearly something very important that concerns the both of us. Maybe talking to him isn't a good idea. But we can go back to researching and get Potter involved too. He can keep an eye on my father and stay alert for any suspicious activity."

Hermione was still shaking her head, so he added, "You have to see that it would be irresponsible to sit back and try to ignore this."

"Irresponsible" turned out to be almost as bad as "ridiculous." Hermione's eyes flashed with anger and she stood up quickly and glowered back at Draco with her hands on her hips. "'Irresponsible?' This is _my_ life Draco and I don't want to know! It's not 'irresponsible' to want to be happy. It's not 'irresponsible' to want a normal life!"

"Our life is never going to be normal," he argued. "You knew that when you decided to be with me."

"I know! My life has never been normal. I was supposed to be a Muggle, then I turned out to have magical powers. Then I was supposed to be a student, but ended up fighting in a war. And after managing to survive that, I was supposed to fall in love and live a peaceful life, but ended up with a time-traveling husband whose father hates me. I know my life isn't normal, but it doesn't mean I don't still want it to be!"

Draco had no idea what to say to that. All he could think was how much she deserved that normal life and how he'd never be able to give it to her.

"I know whatever this information is, is going to be bad," she continued, oblivious to the effect her previous words had had on Draco. "And I've learned enough about this time loop to know that we probably won't be able to do anything to change it. I also know that we're going to find out eventually and that when we do, we're going to be unbelievably sad. But we're also going to stay committed to each other. So, is it so bad to pretend, at least for now, that there's nothing to worry about? Can we pretend to be normal, just for a short while?"

She stopped in front of him and placed her hands gently on his shoulders. Her eyes were lined with tears and were pleading with him silently. She looked so young to him then and he wanted to scoop her up into his arms and stroke her hair and tell her everything was going to be alright. Instead, he swallowed slowly and took a deep breath.

He remembered something her future self had said during a time jump he'd made ages ago. " _We like to pretend the time jumping doesn't exist sometimes."_

He remembered finding that statement odd, since it didn't sound anything like him. He wasn't the kind of person who lived comfortably outside of reality; he was too pragmatic for that. But he understood now. _He_ didn't want to pretend, but he'd do it for her. He'd do anything for her. He'd already ruined her life in Hogwarts, then saddled her with a husband who was lost in time and kept her from having the one thing she desired: a normal life. So he'd pretend for her, if that's what she wanted.

He cupped her face in his hands and pulled her in for a kiss. "Of course, Hermione. I'll pretend for you. I won't talk to him or do anything else to try to discover this secret."

She let out a large breath and started crying softly. He pulled her into his lap and started stroking her hair, like he'd wanted to do a few minutes before. When she calmed down, he asked, "What do we do from here?"

She pulled away from him and got back to her feet and he watched her wipe her eyes with the back of her sleeves. "First, you need to take the neutralizing potion, just in case." Draco nodded.

"Then," she looked at her watch, "we have dinner with my parents in 30 minutes." Draco nodded again and tried to keep from wincing.

"And after that?" he asked.

"We pack and go back home tomorrow, then pack again so he can move into our new house. After that you keep your distance from your father and try to put all of this out of your mind and enjoy the present. Can you do that?" She linked her hands behind his neck and stared into his eyes. Draco maintained her fierce gaze as he considered her question.

Could he let it go and live in the moment with her? He didn't know, honestly. But he'd damn well try. He gave her a curt nod and was rewarded with a radiant smile.

He kissed her again, then whispered in her ear, "When, in that list, do we have sex for the first time as a married couple?" She laughed and Draco immediately felt lighter when he heard the familiar sound.

She pulled back so she could see him and she was giving him a stern look, though he could see her smile breaking through. "After dinner, and after packing, but before going back to London."

He smirked. "Here's my counter-offer: After dinner, but _before_ packing. Then again, after packing."

She regarded him for a while, then her smile finally broke through and she beamed at him, "Deal."

Draco returned her smile, but it felt forced to him. He tried his best to push all thoughts of his father from his mind for the rest of the night. But they were lingering there, right at the edges, threatening to creep back in.

* * *

Later that night (after dinner, shagging, packing, and more shagging), they were laying in bed together, swapping memories from their wedding.

"Blaise was glaring at Daphne the whole night," Hermione said.

"Yeah, I talked to him. He's certainly jealous, but maybe this is good. Maybe it was the push he needed to realize he has feelings for Daphne."

"Maybe," she responded, "but he might be too late. She seems really happy with Paul."

Draco gave a noncommittal shrug. He found Paul to be nice enough, but also incredibly dull. But he also knew his opinion didn't matter.

"And Teddy was so cute in his miniature dress robes, and did you catch him dancing with Victoire?"

"Yes," Draco laughed, "Teddy actually told me that in five years he and Vicky were going to be getting married at the same venue."

Hermione laughed. "Well I hope we get an invite."

"Oh, and I remember Potter telling me you ruined the surprise about the sex of his baby," Draco teased. Hermione blushed and burrowed her head into his chest.

"It was an accident! I was flustered by your time travel and trying to decide if it was okay to marry a different version of you and a pronoun just slipped out!"

Draco laughed, then she hit him hard and he winced, "Ow! What was that for?"

"Sorry, I just remembered. We got that note earlier today about Ginny going into labor. Do you remember that?"

"Oh yeah, I'd almost forgotten. Well it's good you didn't postpone the wedding then." Hermione went quiet and he looked down at her, concerned.

"Draco, tell me honestly, are you angry with me for marrying the other version of you?"

"We've already discussed this, Hermione. Of course I'm not upset. It's all my fault anyway. I'm the one who broke the time turner and forced you into this crazy life where you have to maintain relationships with multiple versions of me. It makes sense that I'd miss an event or two, but again, I didn't really miss it. I just attended out of order."

He looked down at her but she was looking away from him. "Really, Hermione. I don't blame you. And honestly, I would have done the same. I like seeing you do things for yourself. I'm glad to see I'm rubbing off on you a bit."

She finally looked up at him and he was relieved to see she was smiling. "Well I'm glad you broke that time turner, because if you hadn't, we wouldn't be married. And I know it's only been a day, but I _adore_ being your wife. I love getting to say, 'Wait, my husband is on his way.'"

She bent down to kiss his bare chest. "Or, 'See that dashing man over there? That's my husband.'" She kissed his neck then.

"Or, my favorite - 'Wait until my husband hears about this!'" she shot him a wicked grin and he rolled his eyes. But she was kissing his neck again and it felt divine, so he let her taunt slip.

After a few minutes, he flipped her over quickly and she squealed in alarm. "How about this one?" he asked. "'My husband is irresistible and amazing in bed, so I've made a commitment to shag him every night." He grinned and began peppering kisses along her collarbone.

"Hmm, not sure about that one," she said, which wasn't very convincing since he could see her biting her lip.

"I'll see what I can do to change your mind, then," he muttered as he moved to her neck.

* * *

An hour later, Draco was lying with Hermione in his arms, listening to her even breathing while he tried to fall asleep. He was thinking of what she'd said to him just a few minutes ago.

"I know pretending is going to be hard for you, but thanks for trying. I really appreciate it."

Before he could respond, she'd fallen asleep. And he tried to do the same, but was awake for hours. He was scared and couldn't forget everything as easily as she could. But he'd keep his word and not actively try to find out what was going on. And the lingering doubt and ominous feelings that remained - well - he'd hide them. He owed her that much.

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

Draco was pacing the drawing room at Grimmauld Place, wondering where the fuck Potter was. He was the one who had called Draco over here, then he hadn't had the decency to show up. He figured it was a lot to expect Potter to have manners, since he was raised by Muggles.

He caught himself then. That wasn't a good thought and it wasn't really Potter he was angry with, it was himself. He sighed and spotted the drink cart behind a chair and poured himself a large glass of fire whiskey before resuming his pacing.

He'd done something stupid today, well, a few things. Hermione was out of town with her parents, helping them pack up their house for their big move back to England, and she'd left Draco behind to finish up packing their flat. He'd grown frustrated after just an hour, then caved and called in Daphne's house elves for help.

That was the first stupid thing he'd done, since Hermione would hex him if she ever found out, though he did recall that he'd only promised not to give orders to Malfoy house elves. They'd never said anything about the Greengrass ones. And he intended to pay them for their work.

But his stupidity hadn't stopped there. While the house elves were working, Draco had snuck into Malfoy Manor and used the pensieve in his father's study. First, he'd visited the memory of Hermione crying uncontrollably from his time jump to July, 2005. He'd thought his recollection of that time was bad, but experiencing it through the pensieve had nearly broken him.

He'd hoped to search around for more clues to why she was so upset but hadn't lasted ten minutes before having to exit the memory. After that, he'd gone back to his first memory of her since he desperately needed the reassurance she'd provided him in that memory.

" _I love you, Draco. I know you have no idea what is going on, but I love you, I love you, I love you. It was worth it. All the tears, all the fights, the uncertainty. All of it. I'd do it all again."_

But even after hearing her words, he was left feeling like absolute shite. Then he'd received Potter's Patronus, summoning him here.

Draco heard a baby crying and drained his drink, then went upstairs to investigate. The source of the crying was coming from a door that was ajar and he opened it wider and saw James wailing in his crib while Ginny slept on the bed next to him. He saw Ginny begin to stir and lifted James out of the crib and walked him out of the room quickly, closing the door behind him. He added a silencing charm to the door, then walked back downstairs with James.

He bounced the baby up and down as he paced the rooms of the house, talking aloud to him as he did. "It was stupid, but I wanted to see if I could get a hint of what was going on. I know I promised her I wouldn't, but, well, I'm not perfect. Not even close."

The baby was looking at him with large brown eyes that looked a lot like his mothers.' "Right, you don't care. But you're not in a position to argue, and I kind of like that, for a change."

He paused and he could tell James was about to protest about the lack of motion, so he kept walking and bouncing him. "I'm an emotional wreck and seeing that memory certainly didn't help. Honestly, the only thing keeping me from completely falling apart in the middle of Harry Potter's house is you, little guy. But I need to get a fucking grip before Hermione gets back tonight. Maybe I'll try some Brain Elixir and a long round of Occlumency when I return home."

"I'd prefer if you didn't curse around my son."

Draco jumped and nearly dropped James, but tightened his grip on him at the last minute and pulled him closer to his chest. "Fuck, Potter, warn a man before you appear out of nowhere like that."

Harry crossed the room to Draco and held his arms out for James. Draco pulled the baby closer to him. "Can I keep holding him? I - uh -" he was searching his brain for an excuse that wasn't entirely pathetic.

"I heard, he's the only thing keeping you from falling apart right now?" Potter leaned against the wall and Draco sneered at him, though Potter didn't seem to notice. "What did you do? Steal him from his crib as soon as you got here?"

"Oh, no," Draco looked down at James and saw he was about to wail again, so he resumed bouncing and walking. "He was crying, so I went to get him before Ginerva woke up, so she could sleep."

Potter's eyes softened and Draco knew that if he asked him for something then, Potter would agree to it. They were the same in this way, completely devoted to their wives.

Potter removed his glasses and started cleaning them with his shirt. "I'm sorry I was late. I was on my way out when I sent the Patronus, then Kingsley stopped me."

Draco nodded. He was waiting for Potter to get to the point of his summons. "Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about this business with your father. I've talked to Hermione and I know her stance, but I think she's being…" he paused, as if searching for the right word.

"Irresponsible?" Draco provided.

"Yes. You can't just let this go. This is a serious issue and we should try to find-"

"I agree wholeheartedly," Draco cut in. "But I'm with Hermione."

"What?"

"Believe me, Potter, I want nothing more than to sic you on my father. To have you get that invisibility cloak of yours and follow him around until you find out what's going on, but I promised Hermione I wouldn't, and she has her reasons for wanting this and - I owe her this."

"I think you're making a mistake," Potter said in a challenging tone.

Draco stopped pacing and looked back at his fierce gaze. "I do too."

"Is that why you look like you're about to cry?"

At Potter's words, the tears Draco had been holding back all day began to rush forward. He squeezed his eyes shut and pushed James toward Potter. "Take him." As soon he felt the weight leave his arms, he pinched the bridge of his nose hard and turned his head away from Potter.

He thought then of the third stupid thing he'd done that day. Right after Hermione left that morning, he'd gone back to his time travel notebooks and looked through the details of the jumps for the rest of year. The fight (or fights) would start in just a few months.

"I was joking about you crying, Malfoy, but if you need to, go ahead."

Draco let out a dark laugh. "The last time I cried in front of you, you cursed me."

"You were about to hit me with the Cruciatus Curse. Plus, I didn't know what it would do."

" _Sectumsempra_ translates into 'ever-severing.' How did you not guess that one?"

Potter shrugged and James squealed, then Potter sighed and resumed bouncing his son.

"I don't really know what to say, Malfoy. You clearly have a lot going on, and you also, very clearly, don't want to tell me much about it. But if you really don't want me to look into your father, I won't."

Draco nodded appreciatively. "Thanks, Potter. In about a year something will change, and I _will_ ask you to look into him, I remember that. But for now, leave him alone."

"And do you want to talk about what else is bothering you?"

Draco shook his head.

Potter looked down at his son. "Do you want to hold James again?"

Draco almost protested, but the thought of holding that nice-smelling, tiny baby was oddly comforting. He nodded and Potter looked surprised initially, but still handed him over. "This is actually quite nice," Draco muttered as he bounced the baby around the room.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. But it's less nice when he's doing that at two in the morning." Potter took a seat on the couch and began rubbing his eyes. He did look very tired and Draco wondered how he was managing at work.

"Oh, that reminds me," Draco said. "I need to report that I'm leaving England in a few days."

"Right," Potter said, still rubbing his eyes, "Your Honeymoon. I'll note it in your file tomorrow."

"Not Bali, that's not for another week. I'm talking about Scotland." Potter looked over at him, confused. "The Anniversary of the Final Battle?"

Potter swore and Draco covered James' ears, which made Potter laugh and roll his eyes. "Thanks for reminding me, I nearly forgot. That would have been a disaster." He yawned. "I think this lack of sleep is slowly killing me."

"I think it's working faster than you realize," Draco responded. "Go sleep. I can watch this little bugger."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I could do with some more mindless pacing and baby bouncing. Though, I do plan to curse a lot."

"I don't even care. It'll be quick though, just an hour."

"Fine," Draco's mind was already back on his problems with Hermione and what he was going to do to clear his mind before she got back from Australia.

"Draco?"

Potter's unexpected use of his first name snapped Draco out of his thoughts. Draco looked over at him questioningly.

"Everything's going to be okay."

"There is no way you could know that, Potter."

He shrugged. "It's still nice to hear though, even if it is absolute crap."

Draco shook his head, then once Potter left the room he bent down and told James, "Your father is an idiot." He heard the idiot in question snort from the hall. "Go to bed!" Draco said in a louder voice. "I'm not going to be here forever."

* * *

_Present Time: May 2004 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

"This Honeymoon can't come soon enough," Draco muttered as he tied his tie in the mirror. Hermione walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Believe me, I know." It had been a very hectic few weeks. She'd been back and forth between England and Australia trying to help her parents with their move. Meanwhile, Draco had been managing the move from their flat to their new house completely alone.

They were finally at the point where their belongings were all in one place and they had all the furniture they needed, but nothing was where it was supposed to be. Hermione had hoped to get it all put away before their trip to Bali, but knew that was unlikely and was trying to be okay with it.

Draco turned to face her and pulled her into his arms. "This is the last big thing, then our trip is in three days. We can do it."

She nodded. "How was Theo?"

She felt Draco sigh heavily and leaned back to look at him. He looked stressed. She didn't blame him. Besides the move, he'd been dealing with especially needy friends this past week. Blaise had been peppering him with questions about Daphne while also rushing to move into their flat before they'd finished moving out. Daphne had been popping in to complain about Blaise. And Theo had been pestering him to reveal his big secret.

He'd finally taken the time earlier that day to go to Nott Manor and confess about the time travel. Hermione had planned to go with him, but she'd missed so much work traveling to Australia, that she'd had to go to the office to catch up instead.

"He was annoying, but also understanding. There was a lot of swearing, of course, and he'll want to talk to you about it all after the trip. But, for now, I think he's satisfied."

"Did he believe you?"

"Not at first. It's not like when I told you. I don't have any information from his future self that I can relay back to him. But he's clever and seemed to realize it was the only logical explanation for every weird thing that's happened so far. And he remembered that I was researching time travel in his library years ago."

"Are you going to tell Daphne and Blaise?"

"I don't know. Probably not. I should, at some point, but they have their own drama to deal with right now."

"True." Hermione stepped back so she could see Draco clearly before she asked her next question. "Are you - uh - nervous about today? I don't - I don't know if you've been back to Hogwarts yet."

"I have. One other time."

"Oh."

Draco gave her a small smile and grabbed her hand. "I'll be fine as long as you don't leave my side."

"I wasn't planning on it," she replied.

* * *

They lasted about an hour before Hermione pulled Draco out of the Great Hall. She was annoyed to find students snogging in the first two halls they tried, then settled on the one outside the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, just up the main stairwell.

Hermione leaned against the cold stone wall and took a deep breath and Draco leaned on the wall opposite her. "Are you okay?"

She nodded back at him.

"Did you bring me here to snog?" he asked, and she laughed, then shook her head at the memory of those stupid students. Did they even care about the significance of today? They were supposed to be remembering everyone they'd lost six years ago, not sneaking away to feel each other up.

But it wasn't the students she was most disappointed in. It was her friends from school. Besides the close ones, who knew Draco, everyone else had spent most of the day glaring at him. Actually, it was a toss-up between whether they'd glared more at him or at her.

She looked over at him across the hall and he was watching her, concerned. She could tell he was having a hard time, which was understandable, but he seemed to be more preoccupied with how she was doing. "What are you doing all the way over there?" she asked.

He shrugged. "I thought maybe you'd want some space."

She shook her head and motioned for him to join her. When he got to her side, she leaned against him and wrapped her arms around his waist. They stayed like that for a long while, each lost in their own thoughts. Eventually, she straightened, finally ready to go back and face the crowd. He pushed a curl behind her ear, then placed a small kiss on her temple.

"I can't believe Draco Malfoy is kissing me, right in the middle of the second floor corridor," she teased. Something about being back here at Hogwarts had brought their past to the front of her mind.

His eyes turned sad and he grabbed her hands and linked his fingers into hers. "Hermione. I'm so, so sorry for being such a prat to you in these very halls. Please forgive me."

"Draco, you've apologized multiple times now, and I've already forgiven you."

"Well, I think I told you the last time that you deserved to hear it more than once. So, I'm sorry, truly."

"I know, Draco." She was about to lean in to kiss him when Harry appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Oh, hey," he said, and Hermione stepped away from Draco, not wanting to appear like those idiot students who'd left the Great Hall for a snog session.

"Are you okay, Harry?" Hermione asked as she approached her friend. It was clear he wasn't okay, and she figured it was a stupid question. "Well, I know you're not okay, of course not. But, is there anything we can do to help?"

Harry shrugged. "I could use a hug, from Hermione," he added with a smirk.

"I wasn't going to offer," Hermione heard Draco mutter behind her, and she gave Harry a firm hug.

"What are you doing up here?" she asked as she pulled away. "Were you looking for us?"

"Oh, no. I was - uh - going up to the Astronomy Tower." She saw Harry's eyes flash to Draco, but Draco was determinedly avoiding Harry's gaze.

Hermione's heart dropped. "Would you like some company?" she offered in a soft voice.

"No, not this time." He left them and continued on his way to the top of the castle.

"That was odd," Hermione said once he was out of earshot.

"What?"

"He said he didn't want company 'this time,' but I'm almost certain he hasn't been up there since the night Dumbledore died."

Draco looked uncomfortable and his eyes were focused on the floor. Eventually he asked, "Why hasn't he gone back, do you think?"

Hermione sighed and leaned against the wall next to him. How could she possibly explain it all to Draco? But she figured it was worth a shot, especially since he and Harry were trying to be friends. It would be good for Draco to understand what that night on the Astronomy Tower had meant to Harry.

"The day Dumbledore died, probably even more than the night Harry's parents died, or even the night at the Ministry when his godfather died, was the worst for Harry."

Draco's head popped up and he looked surprised. "But why? Everyone knows Dumbledore was already dying. And Snape was on your side."

Draco's look was searching and she hesitated, since she knew what she was about to say was going to make him feel terrible. She grabbed his hand and leaned her head against the wall before continuing. "That night, Harry and Dumbledore went through a terrible trial to get one of Voldemort's horcruxes. I don't know exactly what happened, but I know it was very...personal, for both of them, and Dumbledore was weakened."

"I noticed that."

She nodded. "And then they got back and saw the Dark Mark, well, they obviously rushed to the top of the tower. Then you appeared and Dumbledore -" she cut off as her voice caught in her throat and she saw Draco flinch out of the corner of her eye.

"As you were coming up the stairs, he heard you and had a chance to act against you, but he didn't, as you know. Do you know what he chose to do with that split-second?"

She looked over at Draco and he shook his head without looking back at her, his gaze was on the opposite wall.

"He petrified and silenced Harry. His last act was to protect Harry, and that's how you were able to overpower him." She squeezed Draco's hand before continuing. "Anyway, Harry lost Dumbledore that night. And he - Harry loved him so much, but more than that, he was Harry's last hope. He was the one with the plan, and the only one who actually believed Harry could do it. And to make everything worse, the horcrux they'd found ended up being a fake. Losing everything in one night like that - it nearly broke Harry."

She turned to look at Draco and saw a single tear fall down his face. She leaned her head against his shoulder and sighed. "I'm sorry, Draco. I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad. I just think it's important for you to know. And it all turned out. Somehow, Harry made it through and went on to save us all."

"I think you had a good bit to do with that," Draco said in a rough voice. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close to his side. She could tell he was taking deep, deliberate breaths and waited patiently for him to compose himself before suggesting they return to the Great Hall.

When he finally let her go, she turned to him and saw his expression was serious. "Hermione, do you think he'll ever forgive me for my role in all of it?"

Hermione cried then, for the first time that day, ironically. Because here was Draco Malfoy, standing in a hall where years ago he'd taunted her for being a Muggleborn, completely and utterly reformed. Because not only did he love her, his wife, but he clearly cared for Harry too, and Ginny, and James and maybe even Ron on some level.

Wasn't this the kind of thing they'd been fighting for all those years ago? Love, over hate? She was so glad Draco hadn't become that hateful person his father had been trying to turn him into.

She nodded as she wiped her eyes and buried her head in his chest. "I'm fairly certain he already has, Draco. But, well, as you know, it never hurts to apologize more than once."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So much stuff happened in this chapter, I'm trying to decide where to start with my notes. I'll leave the mystery alone for now, since Hermione wants us all to pretend it doesn't exist. (insert eye-roll emoji here - we'll see how long that lasts)
> 
> I love writing the Harry/Draco friendship. I like how Draco is attached to Teddy and James and I think that was an easy way to get to Harry's heart.
> 
> And this scene where Hermione tells him about Harry – I liked it so much. We heard about this briefly in an earlier chapter and now we got to see the detail. I'm loving this part of the story when I get to write the other side of throw-away details from earlier chapters. The scene where future Draco apologized to Harry was in Chapter 15. Anyway, I hope you all are still liking the story. Thanks for reading.
> 
> Many thanks to my beta - Lancashire Witch, and to all of you too for making it this far into this epic story - I really appreciated all of your reassurances that it's not too long. We'll see if you still agree in ten chapters... Come over to Tumblr (Alexandra-Emerson) to see more content for this story.
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Mon, Dec-21.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

_I think there is a sense of ownership in knowing, isn't there? You let people in, and they claim parts of you - they fly their flag over uncharted territory and from then onward - you cease to belong wholly to yourself._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: May 2004 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

Hermione never loved being a witch as much as when she had to travel. It would have taken them a full day to reach the secluded beach in Bali if they had to travel like Muggles. But they'd only needed to take two Portkeys to get to the holiday house they'd won at the silent auction a few months before, and the whole trip had taken less than five minutes.

As soon as they appeared in the beach house, Draco scooped her up and carried her into the bedroom. It didn't occur to her until a few moments later that it was a little odd that he knew exactly which closed door would take them to the large master suite.

"Draco," she pulled away from him.

"Shut up," he said teasingly as he started undoing the buttons on her blouse.

"Do you not want to have a look around, first? We could take a walk along the beach before it gets dark."

He sighed and rested his forehead against her chest. "I didn't want to have to tell you this as soon as we got here, but I'm going to time jump today."

"What? For how long?"

When he looked back up at her, he was wearing an expression of guilt and she knew that wasn't a good sign. Then as she watched his eyes, they grew stormy and she began to suspect the worst.

"It won't last long, about eight hours, I think."

"Why do you look so distressed?" she sat up and shifted her position so she was sitting with her back against the headboard. Draco sighed and moved to join her on the other side of the bed.

"I won't be mean, but -" he paused to sigh, "- it's not going to be a very good night for you."

Hermione nodded, though she wasn't quite sure what he meant. She knew he was going to time jump on this trip, since the past Draco she met the night of the silent auction hinted at the fact that he'd seen the beach house, but it sucked that it was going to be on their first night here. And Draco looked very upset, scared almost, at the thought of whatever was about to happen. What an awful start to their Honeymoon.

"When?" she asked without looking at him.

"At sunset."

Hermione peered out of the window. It looked like sunset was just a few hours away. She took a deep breath, then turned toward Draco, who was looking very miserable. She reminded herself that this man was her husband and that he was a wonderful partner.

He'd managed their entire move over the last few weeks while she'd been busy with her parents. Harry told her he'd also stopped by to help him and Ginny with James a few times, while she'd been out of town. He'd gone to the Anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts a few days before and suffered through countless glares and whispered curses with a brave face.

When she'd insisted on spending almost the entire past weekend catching up on work at the Ministry, he hadn't protested once. And he'd even endured dinner with her parents the night before. Now that she thought of it, it was out of character for him to tolerate so much without any complaining. He usually whined incessantly, then ended up going along with things anyway. But now she guessed he'd been trying to be as nice as possible because he was worried about tonight.

She crawled onto his lap and began rubbing her fingers through his hair. He cocked an eyebrow at her questioningly and she smirked back at him. "I think you had the right idea before." She bent to kiss him, then started working on the buttons of his shirt.

"Hermione, it's okay, really. We can go for a walk."

"No, I want this. It'll be nice to make a good memory before your idiotic self comes forward and ruins it all."

He began running his hands up and down her thighs, then stopped when his fingers reached the edge of her shorts. "Are you sure?"

She'd just finished with his buttons and was inching her fingers along his shoulder blades under his shirt and paused before moving to pull his shirt off. "Don't tell me you've already changed your mind."

He smirked at her, so she took that as her cue to continue and pushed his shirt down and he quickly pulled his arms out before going back to the buttons of her blouse that he'd abandoned earlier.

Neither of them brought up the impending time jump again, but it was clear by the frantic and desperate way they kissed each other that they were both thinking about it.

* * *

_Present Time: May 2004 / Draco's Time: November 2000_

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

Draco had barely finished getting dressed after his shower when he called to her from the bedroom, "It's happening, Hermione. I love you." He ran out with his hair still wet and kissed her quickly, before disappearing back into the bedroom. She figured that was a good idea. The other Draco would likely be alarmed at appearing in an unfamiliar location and it made sense for him to take in his surroundings before he saw Hermione.

She went back to her spot at the window and continued to watch the sunset. She took deep breaths while she waited for the other Draco to appear. A few moments later, she felt him in the doorway but kept her gaze outside. What was he doing right now? Was he just watching her? Soon enough her curiosity got the better of her and she looked over at him.

He was wearing her favorite shirt on him, the light blue one, and although she knew it was just a coincidence, she smiled in spite of herself. He looked shocked by the sight of her, though she knew he must have expected her to be here by now. Or maybe not? Maybe he was from very early on in the timeline. She should have asked her Draco for the date of the time jump.

"We're on holiday?" he asked, his voice unsteady.

She nodded and was reminded of the last time she'd been with a Draco that regarded her with this level of unfamiliarity. The one that had called her a bitch, then left her alone for two days following their engagement. She wondered if this Draco had done that yet. She studied him as she said, "Yeah, so you can't run off this time."

She saw guilt flash in his eyes and knew immediately that had happened for him. "Right, uh, I've done that already? What's the time?"

"May, 2004. It's our Honeymoon." The color drained from his face and he turned away from her and swore under his breath. She tried her best not to let his reaction hurt her.

"How long into the trip are we?" he asked.

"We arrived this afternoon. This is day one."

Draco hitched his breath and Hermione smirked at him in an effort to mask the pain in her chest. "I mean, it's not our wedding night or anything. And even if it were - we had sex before..."

 _Just an hour ago, actually,_ she thought to herself, though decided it was best not to mention that right now. Draco looked extremely uncomfortable and Hermione couldn't help but be amused. At least he didn't look disgusted by the thought of sleeping with her.

"I usually can't get you to shut up about sex," she muttered under her breath, a little alarmed by how different this Draco was acting from the one she knew so well. Could they really be the same person? He continued to keep his eyes away from her and she slowly crossed the room so she could get a better look at him.

She lifted a tentative hand to his face but he didn't notice, since he was determinedly focused on something out the window. When she touched her hand to his cheek, he flinched, and she ignored the pain that was still pulsing in her chest and turned his face toward her.

It was clear he was trying to hide his thoughts, but she just focused on his eyes. At the start of their relationship, when she'd still found it difficult to read him, she'd discovered that his eyes often held the feelings he was trying so hard to conceal. Right now, they were a torrent of emotion. She watched them flicker from anger to apprehension, confusion, fear, uncertainty, then back to irritation.

It was like this Draco was so lost that he couldn't even settle on a single emotion and let himself feel it. She remembered exactly how this Draco was feeling though, at least according to his future self. _Lonely, unmoored. Fearing that no one in the world will ever truly understand you, or want to._

" _I'll understand you, Draco!"_ she wanted to shout. _"I'll love you and dedicate my life to you, just give me a chance."_ But she didn't say this, since she knew it wouldn't be well received. Instead she said, more as a reminder to herself, than anything, "You don't love me. You don't even like me."

More emotions flitted across Draco's grey eyes. Confusion, guilt, sadness, then annoyance. She took a step back and dropped her hand from his face. "Why not?"

Draco sighed. "I don't know you."

She crossed her arms. "How many times have we met so far?"

"Five times in the future. And in my time, uh...two. You seem nice, Granger." The pain in Hermione's chest stabbed again at his use of her surname, but she tried to keep it from showing on her face. "But I don't want to be forced into this. I hate feeling like I'm being forced into things."

"Is that because of the war?" she asked quickly, without thinking.

"Fuck, leave me alone." Draco turned away from her and started pacing the room. She saw him closing in on himself and remembered how he'd done that a lot when they'd first become friends. She took for granted how open he was with her these days. "So I guess your Draco told you things," he was saying. "But that's - as far as I'm concerned, that's not me."

 _You'd be surprised how little he's actually told me about the war,_ she thought to herself. Then it clicked. She knew why her Draco had been so scared about this time jump. And why he'd said she'd have a bad night. What had he said to her over a year ago? The time he'd been trying to get her to open up about her parents.

" _I told you once everything that went on in the war. And at the time, well, it was the first time I'd ever talked through it all."_

" _And that was when I told you about my five worst moments from the war?" she'd asked._

She looked up at this Draco and couldn't imagine opening up to such an isolated and shutoff version of him. But she knew he wouldn't confide in her if she didn't start things off. But honestly, she was terrified of sharing something so personal with a stranger. She hadn't even talked to her Draco about all that. But this _was_ her Draco, wasn't it? Somewhere, buried deep down, was the man she'd married just weeks before.

And it was so clear that this Draco needed the release of talking through that awful time in his life. And if it got him closer to becoming the Draco she would later fall in love with, then she'd give it a try.

"Then why don't _you_ tell me?" she asked.

Draco stopped pacing and looked back at her, alarmed, "About the war?"

"Sure, why not?"

He sneered at her and she had to look away since it reminded her too vividly of the Draco from Hogwarts. "I'm sure you already know."

"I don't, actually. I know the gist, obviously, but no details. We mostly avoid that topic."

The current Draco was regarding her warily now and a part of her wished he'd refuse her and run off, because then she wouldn't have to open up to him. But unfortunately, there was nowhere for him to go.

 _It won't be that bad,_ she reminded herself. _My Draco is in there somewhere. And he needs this, he's never talked about the war before._

Just then, a random memory popped into her head. It was Daphne that night of the drinking game saying, _"I've never talked about my feelings from the war."_ Draco had taken a drink and been almost proud of it and his friends had been shocked.

Hermione looked back at this Draco, who was still staring at her, and plastered a smile on her face, "I learned in the middle of a drinking game that we've discussed it, but that hasn't happened for me yet."

He walked over to her and studied her face intently. She guessed he was trying to determine if she was lying. She was, but she was curious to know if he'd be able to pick up on it. Would he really believe they'd first discussed something as heavy as that in a drinking game? "You married me without knowing everything I did in the war?"

She shrugged and smiled again. "I learned in that same drinking game that you haven't killed anyone, but you did torture first years."

"What the fuck kind of drinking game was that?"

"A memorable one." She sighed and could tell he was about to close himself off again. She knew what she had to do now. So she took a deep breath, then said in a rush, "I can tell you about the war from my perspective, if you're interested."

He shook his head in disbelief. "How have we not already had this conversation?"

She shrugged again and walked to the doorway. "We're not a normal couple, Draco."

"No fucking shit," he muttered under his breath. Then he narrowed his eyes at her. "Why do you want to know?"

"Honestly, Draco, I don't. I'd prefer to forget everything that happened in the war, but that's not a realistic expectation." She sighed again and leaned her forehead against the door frame. "But I also don't want you to sit here and yell at me. And I can tell a part of you wants to talk about it."

She turned her head to look at him and gave him a small smile and his eyes softened slightly. She went in for her last argument then. Something she thought would appeal to his logical side. "You told me once that you used to believe the future you saw with me was an alternate reality that would never come to pass. Well, if that's what you believe, then what's the harm?"

Draco shook his head, but she could tell her words had affected him. "What if you change your mind about marrying me?" She could hear the fear in his trembling voice and her heart broke for him.

"That's future Draco's problem, not yours." She thought back to how scared her Draco had looked before he'd left. Was he worried that after tonight she'd change her mind about him? How bad was his confession going to be? She tried to push that unhelpful thought from her mind. "You've never talked to anyone about it, have you?"

"What do you think?" he snapped.

Oh poor Draco, he needed this so badly. She forced a smile on her face. "There's a poem. I like poetry, not sure if you know that about me yet. But anyway, it goes like this: 'Imagine meeting someone who wanted to learn your past not to punish you, but to understand how you needed to be loved.'" She was thinking of her Draco as she said the words.

"That's what I'm offering here, Draco, if you want it." Hermione turned to the door, then said over her shoulder, as casually as she could manage, "You can do what you want, Draco, I really don't care. If you want to talk, I'm here for you. If not, that's fine too. But please, no yelling or dueling."

* * *

_Present Time: May 2004 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

Draco got back to the beach house in the middle of the night. He was sitting on the window seat in the bedroom facing a sleeping Hermione. He remembered after she'd fallen asleep on his chest outside, he'd stayed there for almost an hour, watching the moon and replaying their conversation. Then he'd eventually carried her back into the house and tucked her into bed.

After that he'd sat on the window seat and watched her sleep, trying to convince himself it wasn't creepy because he was technically her husband, at least in another life. And he didn't have anywhere else to go, so he may as well stay in the bedroom. But in reality, watching her sleep had calmed him in a way very few things in his life at that time did, so he'd stayed.

Now as Draco watched her, he was trying his best to recapture that feeling of calm he knew his past self had been experiencing in that very seat just moments ago. But it eluded him. He was panicked at the thought of how Hermione would react when she eventually woke up and saw he was back.

Would she look at him differently? Now that she knew he'd tortured countless people, allowed so many to die in front of him, and had even captured and delivered a few victims to the Dark Lord himself?

He'd never forgotten the final words she'd spoken to him that night, before she fell asleep in his arms. _"I know you thought I'd change my mind about being with you. But, well, I think I'll keep you. Even with all that."_

But maybe she'd been lying to save the other Draco's feelings. Maybe she saw how pathetic he was and felt bad, but was saving the truth for him, her husband.

Draco should have never let her marry him without telling her the truth first. He'd fooled himself into thinking it was okay, because of his memory of this time jump, and reasoned if he told her, it would be violating her rule about not discussing her future. But that was a stretch. He was just too much of a coward to tell her the truth.

He'd thought maybe if she was already married to him when she found out, she'd be less likely to leave. But would that really keep her from going, if she wanted to? The thought of that caused Draco's chest to clench painfully and he pulled his legs up and linked his arms around them, trying to breathe deeply to loosen the pain.

He looked back at Hermione for comfort, but the sight of her almost made it worse. She looked breathtaking with her curls spread across the pillow and the moonlight coming in through the window making patterns across her face. He wanted nothing more than to join her and scoop her up into his arms, but he was too afraid if he did that, she'd push him away.

Instead of thinking about this Hermione, and how she'd react once she finally woke up, he replayed his most recent time jump instead.

He'd gone to the café and been thrilled to find a younger Hermione there, but she'd been angry with him. It was because she still thought he didn't want to be seen with her since she was a Muggleborn. So he'd invited her to Florean Fortescue's and insisted they sit at the table by the window.

She'd hesitated at first, and he'd feared she was going to deny him. Maybe he'd been too bold. Maybe she'd suggest they end their tenuous friendship and it would all be over. But he tried to keep in mind what Hermione told him a few months ago about how the events of the time loop were harder to change than they thought.

So he made some joke about her not wanting to be seen with a Death Eater, and she'd finally given in. As soon as he got her talking about books she'd started to relax. But Draco had been far from relaxed, himself.

He was trying not to appear too in love with her, in case that seemed too forward. And was also trying to pay attention to subtle clues she gave about their previous interactions, so he didn't come off as a complete idiot. At the same time, he had to needle her about her relationship with Weasley without being too obvious. And the whole while he was trying not to think about what was going on with his Hermione in this time.

It was good his meetings with her were always short. Because if he had to keep all that up for longer than an hour, he'd probably snap.

Hermione stirred then and Draco's thoughts switched back to the present. He turned and saw the sun was just starting to peek above the horizon and wondered how long he'd been sitting there, lost in his own head. When he looked back at the bed, Hermione's eyes were fluttering open and she began searching the room. When she spotted him, her face broke into a smile and Draco's heart began to melt.

But he stayed completely still. Maybe she hadn't remembered the night before yet. He knew thoughts were always muddled in the morning. He waited for her to remember, but the disgust he expected to appear on her face in place of the smile never came.

"What are you doing all the way over there?" she asked, her voice was a little hoarse and he watched her conjure a glass of water for herself. But he still stayed put.

"Draco?" She was sitting up in bed now and regarding him warily.

"Are you sure you want me over there?" he asked softly, trying his best to keep his voice from cracking.

She looked back at him seriously and he could tell she was thinking hard. Then a terrible thought occurred to him. Maybe this was the start of their fighting. He'd tricked her into marrying a monster, and now she was trapped. He knew how loyal she was. She'd find it hard to end a marriage, especially after just a few weeks. So maybe that's why she decided to stay at first.

But after a few months, maybe it got to be too much, and she realized she didn't want him in her bed anymore, so she made him sleep in the spare bedroom. He could see them making up temporarily, since she was stubborn and would want to give the marriage a fair shot. But after another few months, she'd finally decide she couldn't be with someone so evil and would end it.

She'd be devastated at first, since she had a big heart, and maybe that was why she'd cried so much in his arms. But she'd leave anyway, and the future Draco would be alone in the house with nothing but Fire Whiskey for comfort. No wonder he'd be drunk. And didn't it make perfect sense that when he time jumped and saw a past Hermione, he'd kiss her? Knowing it was probably going to be for the last time.

"I'm sure." Hermione was standing in front of Draco with her hand outstretched and he jumped since he'd been so busy thinking through that awful future that he hadn't noticed her get up. He searched her eyes but didn't see anything that hinted at disgust, or disappointment, or even apprehension. Nothing that gave stock to the future he'd just imagined.

"I told you last night and I'll say it again, Draco. Nothing you admitted has changed my mind about wanting to be with you. I already told you, there's nothing you could say that would do that."

He still didn't reach for her hand, but instead, tightened his arms around his legs. "Draco," she continued. "Nothing you said was a big shock. I know what the Death Eaters got up to during the war and I wasn't naïve enough to think you'd been spared just because you were young and unwilling."

He nodded, then finally placed his hand in hers and let her pull him back to the bed. She took a seat on the bed and he hesitated, then sat next to her. Then Hermione pulled his head into her lap and began stroking his hair. Before he knew it, he was sobbing uncontrollably.

He had no idea how long they stayed there like that. But she just stroked his head and whispered softly while he cried more than he had in his whole life - even including all of sixth year. He'd been so sure he was going to lose her and had been dreading this time jump for longer than he'd even let himself realize. But she said she still wanted him, and he was sure she wasn't lying, since she was truly awful at it.

She loved him, and she wanted to be his wife, after everything. Even now, when he was bawling like a baby, she was holding him close and comforting him, without an ounce of doubt or hesitation in her touch.

When he finally got control over himself and was able to slow his breathing, he could make out the words she was whispering to him. _"You're okay, Draco. I'm here and I'm never going to leave you. I know your heart, your mind, and your soul and I love them all and nothing you say will ever stop that from being true."_

Had she been saying this on loop the whole time? He almost started crying again. But really, he should stop. They were still on their Honeymoon, after all.

He took one final breath, then sat up and looked back at her. She lifted her hands to his face and started wiping the last tears from his eyes. He pulled her hands down and kissed them.

"I love you too," he whispered. "Your heart, mind, and soul, and nothing you ever say will change that."

She smiled and nodded back at him and he pulled her into his chest and took another deep breath, relishing the familiar smell of her hair. He felt her begin to pull back but held her in place, since he didn't think he'd be able to say the next thing while looking at her. "I'm about to ask you for a huge favor."

"Anything, Draco."

"I know you had a very hard conversation last night. But I want you to have it all over again, with me."

She pushed away from him and he saw that her eyes were wide with surprise.

He rushed to explain. "I know it's painful, but - I want to hear about what you went through in the war, as your husband. I want to hold you and ask you questions and wipe your tears. I want to share all that with you so I can, well, understand how best to love you - like the poem."

She was quiet, but he saw her nod and a single tear fell down her cheek. He wiped it away quickly and pulled her back into his chest. "But we don't have to do my side. I understand if you never want to hear that again."

She was silent for a long while and Draco waited patiently for her to think. "Yes. It's a good idea. And I want to do both sides again."

They agreed to go out for breakfast first. Then when they returned to the house, they laid together in the hammock on the beach and swapped war stories again. Hermione told Draco more than just her five worst memories this time.

She told him the entire story of her journey with Potter, starting as early as her trip to the Ministry in fifth year, when she first battled evil, to almost every detail from those long months searching horcruxes, to their insane attempt to steal from Gringotts, to sneaking into Hogwarts and fighting in the final battle.

As promised, Draco listened attentively, asked clarifying questions along the way, and stopped to hold her close when she needed to take breaks to cry. When she was done, it was Draco's turn.

He started his story in fifth year as well, the moment his father was locked up and the Dark Lord appeared at the Manor, just days later, and said he was moving in.

Hermione didn't interrupt him at all. But when he'd stop to wipe his eyes, or regain his composure, she asked him how he'd felt. He realized after the third time she'd done this, that this wasn't for her benefit, but for his.

She was trying to remind him that he may have allowed unspeakable evil to happen around him, but he'd never been willing, or even indifferent. He'd been repulsed, disgusted, terrified, and most of all, remorseful.

He didn't stop talking when he got to the final battle, like she had. He explained how terrified he was at his trial, sure he'd be thrown into Azkaban for the rest of his life and how he'd been almost disappointed when he'd got off, since he didn't feel like he deserved freedom. He told her about his awful relationship and even worse break-up with Pansy.

Then about all his failed attempts to cope with the aftermath of the war by sleeping around, taking potions, drinking, and even his brief foray with Muggle drugs. And he told her how none of it worked and the only thing that made him feel like he could breathe again was, surprisingly, apologizing to Potter, which had actually been his mother's suggestion.

Then, he went on to explain how it wasn't until November 2000, when he time jumped to a beach in Bali and confessed his worst moments from the war and was met with love and acceptance, that he was finally able to take steps to move past it all.

When he stopped talking, she laid her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around him and they swayed on the hammock for a long time, both watching the ocean.

Draco bent down to kiss the top of her head. "This has got to be the worst Honeymoon in the history of all Honeymoons. I'm so sorry, Hermione."

She laughed into his chest. "It may be the worst Honeymoon, but I don't think anyone has ever felt as close to another person as I feel to you, right now."

Draco knew exactly how she felt. And he figured if they had to ruin a Honeymoon to get to this level of intimacy, then maybe it was worth it.

"Why me, Hermione? You could share your soul with anyone, but you chose a broken person like me. I can't fathom it."

She didn't respond immediately and he was glad she was taking her time to consider the question. Then she looked up at him and placed a kiss on his jaw before saying, "You're not your past, Draco."

He hugged her tighter. Merlin, he hoped in a few months she'd still think that.

* * *

_Present Time: June 2004 / Draco's Time: January 2001_

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

Hermione was finding it hard to concentrate on her work with this other Draco in the room. When she'd arrived home and found the Draco she'd be spending the next few days with was an early one that didn't like her, she'd been disappointed, then decided it would be a good time to catch up on work.

But he'd followed her upstairs and the irony behind that act, since he claimed not to like her but had also sought her out, was not lost on her. It was comforting to think that maybe a part of him had been drawn to her, even this early on.

Now, he was reading _Robinson Crusoe_ and would look up at her every page or so, as if to check she was still there or something. Or maybe he feared she'd burst into laughter again. When he'd asked her that question about Muggles traveling by boat, she'd realized then that when her Draco had asked her that same question when reading this book, for what she'd thought was his first time, it had just been a joke.

The joke itself wasn't terribly funny, but the fact that he'd planted that seed almost two years ago, knowing the punch line wouldn't play out until after they were married, was really amusing to Hermione. She couldn't wait until he returned from his time jump so she could laugh with him about it.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Draco's next comment. "The cat hates me." She looked up and saw Crookshanks and Draco glaring at each other and she smiled inwardly. Draco wasn't the only one who could make jokes across time.

She nodded back at Draco seriously and he cocked his head at her. "Why?"

"He prefers Ron," she said with a shrug, then tried to keep from laughing at the look on Draco's face.

She turned back to her book then, since she really did need to get some work done. But she could tell Draco had wanted to say more and was warmed by the thought. When he first came up here he'd asked her, very obnoxiously, what they could possibly have to talk about. She wondered if he'd noticed yet that they'd been talking almost non-stop for the last hour.

* * *

The next day, Hermione and Draco were standing in the drawing room, about to Floo to Nott Manor for his birthday party. She was fingering his wedding band in her pocket, trying to work up the nerve to ask him to wear it.

She'd discussed this moment with her Draco a few days before, when he'd told her he was going to miss this day.

"What do you think our friends will think when they see you're not wearing your wedding band?"

Draco had taken it off then and made a copy, then thrown the copy to her before putting the real ring back on. "Ask me to wear it."

"What?" she'd looked down at the simple, platinum ring in alarm, her mind was imagining a scenario where she asked him to wear the ring and he refused and threw it back in her face.

As if reading her thoughts, Draco had said, "You should ask me to wear it every time we go in public. I promise, I'll never deny you."

"You won't?" He was smiling to himself.

"The Draco you'll meet tomorrow has worn it before, so he won't even hesitate to put it on."

Hermione was shaking her head. "This wasn't really what I had in mind when I asked that question. I don't think it's necessary, our friends may just think you've misplaced it or something."

Draco had looked at her seriously before saying, "I want you to ask me to wear it, really. I think it was important for me to get a real sense of what it felt like to be married to you."

So here she was, about to offer Draco the copy of his ring, but she was still worried he'd say no. Then what? But it seemed to be important to her Draco and if it was one of the reasons he'd one day fall in love with her, then it was worth the awkwardness, she reasoned.

Ultimately, she settled on just handing it to him without explanation and he took it and slipped it on his left hand without protest. Her eyes widened in surprise, then she rushed to hide her face. Well that hadn't been so bad. Maybe the rest of the day would go well too.

But after less than an hour at Theo's, Hermione had to pull Draco into the hall. He was being too stiff and closed off and she was sure everyone would know instantly something was wrong. Theo followed them and finally got to see a different version of Draco for the first time.

It was all Hermione could do to keep from bursting out in laughter when Theo told this Draco he looked tired and didn't seem to be sleeping well in his time. The look on Draco's face had been murderous.

When they got back to the main room, she heard Blaise ask Theo, "What were they doing? Shagging again?"

Draco stiffened next to her and she saw him look quickly over at Harry, who was rolling his eyes. Then Draco looked at Hermione and she smiled and shrugged, trying to hide the sting that his reaction had caused.

"That was too fast for a shag," Daphne said, then she muttered in a lower tone to Hermione, "even for Draco."

Hermione tried her best to smile and winked at Draco to try to ease the tension, but he looked horrified. Was the thought of sleeping with her that bad? He seemed to catch himself then and plastered a fake smile on his face.

Her heart dropped when she saw it, because she knew that look well, though had never seen him direct it at her. It was the look he'd given professors at school when he was pretending to be nice. And the same look he used in restaurants to charm waitresses into giving them better tables.

She marched away from him, hurt, and went back to talking to Ginny and Daphne while Draco rejoined the boys' conversation. She saw him look over at her every so often and shoot her that pretend smile that she was coming to hate. A part of her wished he'd just sneer at her instead.

She excused herself and went to hall and began pacing, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. Harry joined her a few moments later. "Are you okay?"

She smiled when she saw him. "I'm fine," her voice was shaking, and Harry shook his head.

"That's obviously not your husband. Is that the problem? Is this one being mean to you?"

Trust Harry to pick up on subtleties while also dealing with massive newborn-induced sleep deprivation. She shook her head again. "No, he's fine. But I'm surprised everyone hasn't noticed and called us all out on it. He seems so obviously not himself today."

Harry shrugged. "Blaise and Daphne are too busy glaring at each other to notice anything else, Ginny is about to fall asleep, and Theo already knows. So, I think you got lucky with the timing today."

Hermione nodded and continued pacing the hall while Harry watched her. Eventually, he asked, "Was that - uh - was that the only problem? You seem very stressed."

She stopped walking and leaned against the wall. "I am stressed. Not just about Draco, but work is driving me absolutely insane."

"Yeah, I've noticed, and I was talking to Kingsley about it last week. He told me he offered you another position, but you refused."

Hermione was annoyed Harry had gone behind her back to Kingsley, but she knew he was just trying to be supportive. "I know, another job would be much easier, but I am liking this one. Minus all the times I have to see Lucius. Unfortunately, he represents one of the most powerful special interest groups so I can't do anything without his approval. But I keep trying to remind myself that this is such good exposure for me and will set me up well for future career prospects. I just need to get through at least another year or two."

"And what does Malfoy say about all this?"

Hermione shrugged and looked away from Harry.

"You haven't told him?"

She sighed. She hated how perceptive he was sometimes. "He already has enough drama with his father. And I don't want him to seek Lucius out, even if it is just to tell him off."

"And he hasn't noticed how stressed you are? He's not that thick."

"I'll be sure to pass along the compliment," she smirked, then sighed. "He knows I'm stressed, but just thinks it's because I'm very busy. He doesn't know the real reason is because of all the ridiculous hoops his father is constantly making me jump through."

When she looked back at Harry, he was giving her a disappointed look and she wondered how he'd mastered such a fatherly expression after only a month of practice. "He's going to be so hurt when he finds out, Hermione."

"I know that, Harry," she snapped back.

He shook his head and went to stand next to her on the wall. "Unsolicited relationship advice sucks, doesn't it?"

She rolled her eyes. He was obviously referring to all those times she'd pestered him about Ginny at the start of their relationship. She kicked him, softly, "Point taken."

Harry straightened and cocked his head back toward the main room. "Come on, we should go check on your imposter husband."

When they reached the room, she saw Draco was pouring himself a drink. "Do you mind-" she started to ask Harry, but he caught her meaning and went to join Draco.

She heard Harry say, as she walked back to join Daphne and Ginny, "It's not really your birthday today, is it?"

She tried to relax as she talked to Ginny about James, since Harry was watching Draco now and would make sure he didn't do or say anything stupid. And she purposely moved so her back was to them, so she didn't have to see any more of Draco's fake smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I didn't initially plan to re-hash the honeymoon scene (originally in Chapter 6) in as much detail as I did here. But as I was writing it, it occurred to me that Draco would probably be super stressed about this whole event – understandably, of course. So anyway, I dedicated a whole, long chapter to this and I hope you all like how it turned out. I'm having fun writing the back end of all these time jumps we saw earlier on. Draco's birthday was in chapter 8 in case you want to read it from his POV.
> 
> Also, you all unanimously agreed after the last chapter that Hermione's decision to not investigate Lucius was odd and a bit out of character. I hear you. I'm chalking it up to war trauma, but also, I need this story to go a certain way. So thanks for bearing with me!
> 
> Thanks to my awesome beta reader, Lancashire Witch, who keeps assuring me that the story isn't too long.
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson for a timeline file, behind the scenes drabbles, and aesthetics. Please let me know what you think of this chapter!
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Wed, Dec-23.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

_I think love is about being your darkest, most destructive self._

_To be loved, not in spite of this but because of it._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: June 2004 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

Draco must have time jumped while he was asleep, because when he woke up the next morning, he wasn't in the bed at the ski chalet in Switzerland, where he'd fallen asleep, but in the spare bedroom at the London house. It took him a moment to realize he was back in his time.

Hermione was standing at the edge of his bed, beaming at him. "Happy Birthday!" She motioned toward a tray of food on the nightstand and he saw it was his favorite: sausage, a scone, and a large black coffee. But he ignored the food for now and pulled Hermione onto the bed with him and started kissing her.

"I'm so glad to be back," he said between kisses. "I had an awful birthday."

Hermione pushed back and took a seat on his lap. "You didn't have fun with your ex-girlfriend?" she teased.

"Not at all. I pretended to have a very contagious cold, but she still came by every few hours with soup or tea or just some encouraging words. I forgot how needy she used to be. But to be fair, it's probably because she knew on some level, I was in love with someone else."

Hermione smiled at that. "Yes, she sounds so awful," she said sarcastically.

"I know, doesn't she know that when I'm sick, I prefer when the woman I love tells me to just take some Pepper-up potion and get over it?"

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Or that I especially love when she tells me that just because I'm sick doesn't mean I don't have to do my chores."

He could tell Hermione was trying hard to look stern and not laugh, so he poked her side until he finally got her to smile.

"Anyway," Hermione seemed eager to change the subject. "I'm going to make it up to you today." She picked up the tray of food and set it on Draco's lap. Then she took a corner of the scone and ate it.

Draco started sipping on the coffee and watched Hermione, looking for any signs of sadness, but she seemed to be guarding her emotions. "How was I?" He studied her reaction but couldn't pick anything up from her face. That was concerning.

"Tell me," he pressed, and she plastered a smile on her face.

"I'm sure you remember, you were fine, just incredibly tense. Theo knew in an instant, but luckily Daphne and Blaise were distracted and Ginny was tired."

That wasn't what he meant. He didn't care about their friends' reactions, he was curious about hers, but he could tell she wasn't going to say more.

"Oh, that reminds me though," she was smiling now. "You read _Robinson Crusoe_ for the first time."

He smiled back at her.

"So it turns out you're not as thick as you originally appeared when you asked me how Muggles traveled." She paused to shake her head. "Are there other jokes you planted earlier on that are going to play out in a few months?"

He shrugged, "You'll just have to see, won't you?"

"Well it was brilliant, I was laughing about it all night."

"Wait," Draco cut in, remembering that day. "That's when you told me Crookshanks preferred Weasley! I'd almost forgotten that it was _you_ who told me that. I've been telling you that for a year now and you've been making me think I was crazy, but you're the one who put it in my head!"

She was laughing hard now and he couldn't help but join her. "Did you make that up?"

She nodded. "I thought of saying it because of all your conspiracy theories about those two. But Crookshanks doesn't prefer Ron. He hates both of you equally."

Draco nodded, then slapped Hermione's hand away from his scone. "This is mine, go get your own." He picked it up and took a big bite.

She was pouting and he grabbed her chin and said playfully, "If you want a taste, I'll let you kiss me when I'm done with this."

"You're so generous, Draco," she teased, then took another piece of scone and popped it in her mouth before he could push her away.

* * *

_Present Time: August 2004 / Draco's Time: May 2000_

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

Hermione shot up in bed and felt her heart pounding hard in her chest. She reached for Draco, but found the spot next to her was empty. Then she remembered why and got up and started pacing the room, trying to calm her breathing and keep from crying.

She saw Crookshanks watching her from the chair and stopped to pet his head. "It's okay, Crooks. I just had a nightmare. And Draco…" she trailed off. It was too hard to explain what was going on with Draco, even to a clever cat like Crookshanks.

What was the right way to explain that your husband just found out for the first time tonight that he was married to you, and that that knowledge appeared to be the worst news he'd ever heard in his life? That would be a fun story for their kids. "The look of horror on your father's face when he first learned we were to be married. I'll treasure it forever."

She stopped in front of the photo from their wedding day (the one he'd studied in disbelief just hours before) and snorted. Then her eyes flitted to the picture next to it of all the Slytherins in their common room, laughing at some shared joke. Was it a joke about her? The ugly, know-it-all, Mudblood? It was all she could do to keep from throwing the picture frame against the wall.

She was biting her lip so hard she almost drew blood. Then she turned away from the photos and resumed her pacing. The nightmare was just like all the others she'd been having recently. It was nothing from the war, and the scenes in her nightmares weren't even made up. They were all real memories, but they terrified her just as much as anything she thought her subconscious would be able to invent.

They were all from Hogwarts and they all included Draco taunting her. The time he first called her Mudblood, the time he teased her at the World Cup, the time he made fun of her teeth in fourth year. Countless taunts about her hair and how unlikeable she was. The time he'd insulted Hagrid and drove her to punch him. All of it had been coming back to her, as clearly as if it was happening again.

Just then, Hermione heard Draco shouting from across the hall. She sprinted to the other side of the room and grabbed her wand, then cast a shield charm on herself before tiptoeing to the spare bedroom. She carefully opened the door and saw immediately there was no danger. Draco was just having a nightmare.

She dropped the shield charm and sighed, then almost turned back to her room. But he looked so similar to her Draco then and she couldn't just leave him. She walked slowly to his side of the bed and placed her hands on his face as she whispered his name.

Once his eyes shot open, she stepped back to give him space. She could tell he wanted her to leave but she stayed and helped him and even summoned Brain Elixir for him. She found it mildly interesting that this was the first time he'd used it, but didn't have the energy to dwell on the thought much.

When it was time for them to go back to sleep, she couldn't make herself leave. He looked annoyed. "You can go."

She got up from the bed and went to sit in the chair at the other end of the room. "It's better when I stay until you fall asleep, otherwise you'll be up again in a few hours." Who knew if that was true? But it sounded good, and she didn't want to return to her bed alone, but also didn't want to admit that he wasn't the only one recovering from a nightmare tonight.

Draco rolled his eyes. "I sleep by myself all the time, Granger."

She shrugged and summoned a book from her bedroom. "I know. But tonight you don't have to." She smirked at him. "And now that I know you don't want me here; I'm definitely not leaving." He sneered at her and she had no idea why she was staying. She hated him and the more he looked at her like that, the worse she felt.

But she also couldn't go back to her bed and climb under the covers by herself. She needed her Draco. She needed him to tell her she was beautiful, and special, and that he loved her more than anything. But he wasn't here when she needed him most. He was with some other Hermione, probably flirting and laughing about books.

This Draco was glaring angrily at her and she wondered if her previous assumption, that an upset Draco was better than no Draco, was truly correct. But she was already here, and she wasn't one to back down. So she picked up her book and started reading.

She heard him call her a bitch under his breath and she almost hexed him but stopped herself, since she was technically invading his privacy, in a way. Instead she responded with, "Wanker."

She couldn't see his face, but he laid back in bed and turned away from her. And soon enough she could tell he was asleep. After listening to his even breathing for a full ten minutes, she crept over so she could look at his face.

Awake, he'd looked like the Draco she knew from school, but asleep, he looked like her Draco. She wanted to touch him, but refrained, not wanting to wake him up and turn him back into the mean Draco.

Could she learn to love this Draco? Was that even a requirement? Most people didn't have to love the past versions of their spouse. They just loved who they got, then had to try to love the people they'd turned into from there. "I'm trying to love all of you, Draco," she whispered. "But you're making it incredibly hard, aren't you?"

* * *

_Present Time: August 2004 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Daphne Greengrass **

Daphne was shopping with Hermione in Diagon Alley. Well, Daphne was shopping and Hermione was reading a book. But at least she was here, Daphne reasoned, though she was incredibly distracted, and not just by the book.

"Hello, Hermione! Are you even listening to me?"

"Of course, but you haven't said anything new. Paul is loving but dull and Blaise is detached and interesting. What you really need is a man who is loving and interesting but you don't know where to find one of those."

Daphne crossed her arms. "Ok, so I guess you were listening."

"Do you really want my advice?" Hermione put her book down and looked over at Daphne sternly.

"I'm guessing no, but I assume you're going to tell me anyway."

"You're not going to find someone loving and interesting if you stay with Paul. So let the poor wizard go."

Daphne knew she was going to say that. Just like Astoria. Hermione and Astoria would actually get along quite well. It was too bad they had that Draco awkwardness between them.

"But it's so convenient having him around," Daphne whined.

Hermione shook her head. "You're just keeping him around to upset Blaise but it's not fair to Paul, who actually likes you. You need to let him go. And honestly, maybe you should just go back to that strange back and forth relationship you and Blaise had before. You both seemed much happier then."

"What?" Daphne's eyes widened. "You're the one who told me to tell him off and give him an ultimatum."

"Well, maybe I was wrong. I still think you deserved better, but at least then you two were able to get some tension out by shagging on occasion and were so much less...broody. The way you two are now is driving us all mad."

Daphne sneered at her friend. "Well I'm so sorry to inconvenience you with my depressing love life while you enjoy marital bliss."

Hermione snorted and Daphne cocked her head in confusion. "What? No bliss?"

Hermione was about to pick her book up again, but Daphne pulled it quickly out of her hands. "Tell me," she urged.

"It's none of your business," Hermione tried to reach for her book but Daphne stood up so she and the book were out of reach.

"You're my two best friends," Daphne argued.

"That doesn't give you access to our private life."

What the hell was going on? Draco and Hermione were perfect for each other and she'd never seen two people more in love. Shit, if they couldn't make it work, there was no hope for her. She'd have to keep an eye on this.

Those two might be great together, but they were also incredibly stubborn. And they both had the bad habit of bottling things up until they exploded into flames like howlers. Daphne hoped she could tease out whatever was going on between them before that happened.

* * *

_Present Time: September 2004 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

When Draco got back from the time jump when he knew he'd first learned about being married to Hermione, he'd been expecting a big fight. The whole time he'd been in the past, meeting Hermione in the café for the first time, he tried so hard to ignore what he knew was happening in his time. But the memory of Hermione's words from that night kept creeping into his head.

" _I know what I signed up for, but sometimes I think it's too hard."_

" _You said it would hurt. You warned me before, but actually feeling it. It's too much, Draco."_

" _Do you know how much it hurts to see the person you love most in the world look at you like that?"_

" _I don't know what's worse: having you openly despise me, like now, or watching you pretend, which you'll start to do in a few years. I guess it's all bad."_

Draco had no idea how he got through that lunch with her in the past. But at the end of it, as she turned to leave, he finally snapped and almost leaned in to kiss her (briefly mistaking her for his own Hermione). But at the last moment he caught himself and grabbed her hand and kissed that instead. The look on her face was priceless, but it only lifted his spirits for a moment before he went back to dreading the return to his present.

When he got back, Hermione was at work and he spent all day cooking her favorite dinner. And when she apparated back into the house he waited in the kitchen for her to come to him, unsure what type of reception he'd receive.

When she saw him and the meal he'd made, she smiled widely and hugged him tight. He was so relieved he didn't dare ask about the time jump, not wanting to disturb her good mood. But two weeks later, she still hadn't said a word about it and Draco was getting worried.

And he would have let it go was it not for the growing distance between them. She was bringing work home more and stopped meeting him for lunch a few times a week. She went to the Burrow more often (which was the one place she knew he wouldn't insist on accompanying her to) and had even spent all of last Sunday shopping with Daphne, which Draco knew she hated. But he suspected she'd agreed to go so she wouldn't have to spend the day with him.

They were laying in bed now and Hermione was working again while Draco tried to summon the courage to talk to her. He was sorting through his thoughts but after several moments gave that up and went for it. "We need to talk about the last time jump."

She didn't look up from her book. "Right, you never said what you did. Was it anything interesting?"

"It was the first day I met you at the café, but that's not what I want to talk about." He gently pulled her book down and saw her eyes flash with annoyance, but she let him take it and place it down on the bed.

"Oh yes, the day you kissed my hand," he could tell her smile was forced. "That was so strange."

He nodded. "I want to hear about your side of that time jump."

"I don't have much to say about it."

Draco sighed. "Please, Hermione. I know it was very hard for you, but you haven't told me anything about it."

She shrugged. "There's not much to say. You were horrified when you learned we were married and it hurt. But I get it, I wasn't very nice when I found out either. And - what else is there? You had a nightmare, I stayed to help you, and you returned the next day and made that stew you know I like."

"You told that Draco so much, Hermione. I remember. But you refuse to discuss it with me now. Why?"

She sighed. "It's obvious you're looking for me to say something specific, so just tell me what it is so I can say it and we can move past this."

Draco squeezed the bridge of his nose in frustration and when he looked back at Hermione, he could tell she was also irritated. "How about what you said at the beginning? I appeared in the bed and you were talking to me, but I know that I," he pointed to his chest, "was already asleep. But the other Draco heard what you said and I've never forgotten those words."

She stayed silent so he continued on. "You said, 'I know what I signed up for, but sometimes I think it's too hard.'"

She looked guilty and dropped her eyes.

"Were you ever planning to tell me you felt that way while I was awake?"

"It's not what you think," she said, her head still down.

He put his finger under her chin and lifted her face. "I'm not stupid, Hermione."

"I know that, Draco," she snapped. "But I wasn't talking to you, I knew you were asleep. I was talking to Crooks."

Draco resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "And I wasn't talking about the time jumping," she added. Hermione leaned back out of his grasp and rested her head against the headboard. He waited patiently for her to keep talking, but when it appeared she wasn't going to expand on her statement, he motioned for her to continue.

She took a deep breath, then turned her head toward him. "I was talking about work."

"Work?" Draco was genuinely confused now. She looked guilty again and turned her head away from him.

"What is it? What are you hiding?" Hermione bit her lip but stayed silent. "Why won't you tell me, Hermione?" Draco was angry now. "Is it because you don't trust me?"

"Of course not, Draco. I trust you more than anyone, but -"

"But what?" he interrupted. "But I'm still on probation, aren't I?"

"Probation? What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about how I'm never going to be able to do enough to make up for my past. I've apologized countless times, given up my family, even my job, but it's still not enough. You still hold me at arm's length, like you think I'm going to turn back into that awful person one day."

Her eyes flashed with surprise and Draco's heart broke. He'd hoped this fear that had been lurking under the surface for the past few weeks was unfounded, but he could tell by Hermione's reaction that there was some truth to his words, and she was alarmed he'd guessed at it.

"I don't think that," she said quickly. Too quickly, he thought to himself.

"Then why haven't you talked to me about this work thing?"

She was silent.

"And the time jump, there's more you said during that jump that you haven't told me."

More silence. Draco wanted to shake her, but he decided to rattle her with his words instead.

"And what about my mother?"

"Your mother? What about her?" Well, that got her talking again.

"I told you she wants to get to know you and even helped us keep that wedding venue, but every time she reaches out to meet, you blow her off. And you won't tell me why. I've completely taken on all your friends, and your parents, and even the bloody Weasleys who aren't related to you. And you can't manage one fucking lunch when you know how much it would mean to me?"

"I didn't know it mattered that much to you. You should have told me."

Draco shook his head, exasperated. "Haven't you been listening? I can't ask you for things!"

She crossed her arms and glared at him. "Why? Because of this supposed probation?"

"You say it like it's a joke, but it's there. We're too imbalanced. I'm still in trouble for bullying you in school and being a Death Eater. And I was doing okay a few months ago, but then I lose points every time my past self comes forward."

Her eyes flashed with pain and he wanted to comfort her but was too upset that she wasn't comforting _him_ to reach for her. "I don't know what you want me to say to that," she said in a low voice.

Draco took a deep breath and leaned his head against the headboard. "What about what you told me in Bali? Why don't you try that?"

"I said a lot of things on that trip."

Draco wanted to cry at the harshness of her tone. It was so opposite the one she'd used just months before on their Honeymoon. It took every ounce of strength he had to look over at her and whisper, "I know your heart, your mind, and your soul and I love them all and nothing you say will ever stop that from being true."

She dropped her eyes and he saw a few tears fall down her face, but she stayed quiet.

He reached his hand over and patted her leg as he said in a hollow voice, "It was a lovely thought. But it's too bad it's not true."

She shook her head and looked back up at him, her eyes fierce. "I meant it."

"Then tell me that there is truly nothing my past self could do or say that would change your mind about me because you trust me and love me, even the bad parts."

He saw tears well in her eyes and she placed her hand on top of his, but she didn't say anything.

"But you can't say that, can you?" he continued. "Because you don't like the bad parts of me. You can't stand them. And when I come from the past you start rethinking everything."

He paused, hoping she'd contradict him, but she was just sobbing silently and clutching his hand like a lifeline.

"I like all of you, Hermione. When you're annoying and pushy, I love you. When I see you in the past and you're overly judgmental, I love you. When you rush to decisions without considering the other side, I love you. I love the bad parts of you as well as the good ones. But you don't love me like that, do you, Hermione?"

He pulled his hand away from her and wrapped his arms around his legs. "You need everyone around you to be perfect, when you yourself aren't. I know I was an arse to you in the past. I was hurting and unbelievably lonely, but you can't forgive me for it."

She finally found her voice. "That's not fair, Draco, I've forgiven you so much, you know that."

"And what? You reached your limit?"

"Of course not!" she shouted.

"Then tell me I'm wrong. Tell me you love me no matter what!" he yelled back at her. "Tell me what's going on at work. Tell me why you won't meet my mother. Tell me why with each subsequent time jump, you pull further and further away from me."

But she was silent again and Draco was done. He stood up from the bed and rushed to the door, but before he could slam it behind him, he heard her ask, "You're really leaving?"

He paused in the doorway, his back to her, then laughed darkly as he realized something. He shook his head before turning to face her. "In two days, I'm going to come from the past and find I'm sleeping in the spare bedroom. I always assumed you'd kicked me out because I'd fucked up. But I guess I left willingly."

"Draco, come back. We can talk," she patted his pillow.

Draco shook his head. "I've been begging you to talk this whole time, but you've just sat there silent." He stopped and gave her one last chance to say something useful, but she just bit her lip. Then he sighed and left the room, slamming the door hard behind him.

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

Draco wasn't even gone for a full minute before Hermione jumped out of bed and followed him into the hall. But she hesitated outside the closed door of the spare bedroom. She had no idea he'd been feeling this way and wondered how long it had been going on. But when he'd put it all into words, it made so much sense that she couldn't even refute it.

She had been punishing him for his past without even realizing it. It was why she'd been pushing him away and why she never confided in him about how his father was treating her at work or how she felt about his mother. If she was being completely honest, a small part of her feared he'd take their side.

But that wasn't fair. Her Draco, her husband, would always choose her. He'd already proved himself to her, hadn't he? It was the time jumps that were messing with her mind. The other, angry, hateful Draco was the cause of all this doubt.

She knocked on the door and he answered immediately, and she was glad to see he looked relieved to see her there. "Come back to bed," she said as kindly as she could. Then added, "please."

He sighed and shook his head and she knew what he wanted her to say, but she couldn't. "It's not fair for you to ask me to love the past Dracos. They were mean and hated me and that was never something I agreed to."

He placed his forehead against the door frame. "You don't need to love those Dracos. But you need to tolerate them and not punish _me_ for once having been those people. That's all I'm asking. You told me after our wedding there was nothing I could say to change your mind about me. But something changed."

Hermione's chest clenched. Yes, something had changed. Or it had been brewing and had finally begun to bubble over. But how could she possibly explain the feeling she barely understood? He was right, she had been hiding it from him, but why? He was Draco, the person she loved most in the world.

But that was part of why she kept it to herself. She hadn't told him about her recent nightmares and how on occasion she'd catch him sneering about something, or he'd say something rude and she saw her former bully in him, and it frightened her.

Or how every time she thought back on Hogwarts, she tried to recall that moment she'd shared with Draco just a few months ago at the Anniversary of the final battle. When he'd apologized yet again for tormenting her. But that memory wouldn't stick in her mind for very long. It was always replaced by bad ones.

He'd already been through so much and had apologized countless times. Was she really going to bring it all up again?

Was she going to make him relive every taunt and apologize for them one at a time? Each rude word or glare from his past self? Was she that petty? And would it even help?

"Quiet again, Hermione? Why? What happened between the wedding and now?" His eyes were pleading. "I'm the same person but something's changed for you and you won't even tell me what it is!"

She couldn't say the words she knew he needed to hear. She couldn't tell him she loved him no matter what, because it wasn't true. And it wasn't worth lying because he'd know as soon as the words left her lips.

"Go, Hermione. Just...go," his voice broke on the last word and she reached out for him, but he stepped back, out of her grasp. Despite his words, his eyes were begging her to stay, but she closed the door and left him alone.

* * *

_Present Time: September 2004 / Draco's Time: December 2001_

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

When Hermione heard a knock on the bedroom door her heart leapt. Was Draco going to forgive her? Did he want to talk? Would she finally be able to say something useful instead of sitting there in stunned silence?

But when she saw him, she knew immediately this wasn't her Draco and wanted to burst into tears. She focused back on her book and asked him what time he was from, not caring at all about his response.

"December 2001. This is the jump when I realized your theory about reaching the middle was crap."

She shrugged and kept her eyes on the book. "Yeah, I remember you struggled with that realization." She just wanted him to leave. She knew he'd be nice enough, since they were friends in his time, but this wasn't the Draco she wanted to talk to.

"So we're fighting in this time?" he asked.

She nodded and finally looked up at him. He looked terrible but she didn't have the energy to provide him any comfort. "Actually, we're not talking. So if you wouldn't mind," she waved toward the door, "I don't really want to talk with _you_ either."

She knew it wasn't fair to speak so harshly, since it was herself she was angry with. Not this Draco and not hers, but she needed him to leave the room before she started crying.

Draco paused in the doorway. "Tell me one thing, Hermione. I can end this all now. My father has a shard of the broken time turner, and he offered to help me just a few weeks ago. Is that something you want me to do?"

She almost fell apart then. She looked down at her hands and a few tears fell onto the bedspread. A terrible thought had entered her mind. Was her Draco in the past now, contemplating ending the time loop? Was the pain of being with someone who couldn't fully love him too much? "That's not a decision I can make for you," she said softly, and the words tasted bitter on her tongue. "It's your life."

He finally left her alone and she broke down in sobs, aching for her Draco and hoping desperately that he'd come back to her.

* * *

_Present Time: December 2001 / Draco's Time: September 2004_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

When Draco appeared in his flat in the past, he checked his calendar and saw he had plans to meet Hermione in the Archives to work on the time travel research. He Floo-ed to the Ministry and took the lift to the bottom level and saw her at their table, bent over a book.

He hesitated though before joining her. It was okay that he was in a bad mood, he told himself. This wasn't like the times he met her in the café, when he had to be incredibly charming. This Hermione already knew about the time jumping and had already agreed to help him.

But he couldn't make himself walk over to the table. Her words from a future time jump had been playing in his mind on loop, and he heard them again now as he watched her from across the room.

_I love you regardless of the time, or your memories, or whatever is going on around us. I love your soul, Draco._

He'd clung to those words for so long and convinced himself she truly meant them. But now he knew they were just words. Hermione loved poetry and beautiful phrases and she collected and memorized her favorite passages so she could spout them off later.

But when it came to internalizing them, to really feeling them, she couldn't do it. And he couldn't blame her, because he wasn't worth it, was he? He sighed, then turned back for the lift. He'd leave her alone this time. It was probably better that way.

* * *

_Present Time: September 2004 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

When Hermione returned home from work the next day, she walked to the closed door of the spare bedroom and waited a few moments in the hall before knocking. She couldn't tell by Draco's voice on the other side if it was her Draco or still the one from the past, so she asked, "Are you back, Draco?"

He opened the door and she saw immediately it was the Draco she was married to. She flung herself at him and began crying as soon as her head touched his chest. He slowly wrapped his arms around her and started stroking her hair as she cried. He moved them to the bed and asked once they sat down, "What did I do this time?"

She shook her and pushed back so she was facing him. "Nothing, that's not-" She took a deep breath and continued, "I just missed you, Draco. I thought - I thought maybe you wouldn't come back."

He winced and dropped his head into his hand. "Why do you think so poorly of me all of a sudden?"

"No, Draco," she pulled his arm down so she could see his face. "That's not what I meant. And I don't think poorly of you. I - I want to tell you everything. Please, just, give me a chance to explain."

He nodded back at her, a little nervously, and she went on to tell him about what had been going on at work. He listened quietly and at the end of her explanation about his father, all he said was that she should have trusted him and told him sooner.

She nodded, then hesitated before the next thing she'd planned to say. This one was harder, since it was about his mother, who she knew he still cared for deeply. And if he took her side…

 _No, this is Draco. You need to give him more credit._ She took a deep breath, then tried to explain her feelings toward Narcissa.

"I had a lunch setup with your mother right after we got back from Bali, as you know." He nodded. "And I was on my way. I moved things around at work, I picked out one of the outfits Daphne made me buy, and even re-did my hair just before leaving. But when I got to the fireplace and threw the powder in, I couldn't do it. I ran back up to my office and sent an owl with some made up excuse about getting tied up with work."

"Okay...why?" His eyes were kind and encouraging and she focused on them as she went on to explain.

"The night we were brought to the Manor-" she knew she didn't have to elaborate. It was clear by his expression, which had gone completely blank, that he knew exactly which night she was referring to. "Everyone was arguing about our identity and trying to figure out if they really had caught Harry Potter. Then you came over-"

Draco dropped her gaze and she grabbed his arm and squeezed it. "You knew it was us immediately, I saw the recognition in your eyes. But you tried to lie. Do you remember who identified us?"

"My mother," he whispered.

"Yes," Hermione breathed in response. Then in a louder voice, she continued. "But it wasn't just that. When Bellatrix was questioning me, I kept looking over at her. Bellatrix was clearly insane and I knew your father didn't care about me. But I was sure your mother would do something. She was a mother and had a son my same age."

Draco was completely still, and she rubbed her hand along his arm as she took another breath. "You were standing next to her and determinedly looking away, which I understand," she added quickly. "But she looked right at me and watched the whole thing and did absolutely nothing. You were just a kid, Draco and I don't blame you for your inaction. But she was an adult. And she knew better."

When she stopped talking, the silence around them was heavy and uncomfortable. But Hermione stayed quiet, because she didn't know what else she could say. Now it was time for Draco to talk, but he was still looking away from her. When he finally spoke his voice was rough.

"I feel like such an idiot. I should have never scolded you for avoiding her. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault, Draco. I'm the one who didn't tell you. And I should have. And I do want to try to get past it, because I know how much it means to you for us to get along. Or, well, at least be civil. But- I'm going to need time."

He looked up at her and cupped her face in his hand. "I completely understand. And you don't need to see her ever again if you don't want to. Please forgive me for being such an idiot. How can I make it up to you?"

"Simple. Move back into our room and never leave again."

Draco bent to give her a soft kiss on the lips. "Done."

Hermione leaned her head back on his chest and sighed in relief when he started stroking her hair again. She'd told him about his parents and he'd been perfect, as she'd known he would be. So why had she hesitated for so long?

And the rest of their argument from a few days ago - his claims that she didn't love him unconditionally. They hadn't addressed that, and she was sure it was still on his mind. But she needed more time with that issue. Though she would talk to him about it soon, she promised herself.

Later that night, when they were eating dinner, she asked him what he did during his most recent trip to the past.

"Oh, nothing," he said quickly. "I checked the Archives to see if you were there, but our table was empty. We must not have been meeting that day."

"Unlucky timing," she said before taking another bite of noodles.

He hummed in response, then changed the subject.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Poor Draco. And don't be too harsh on Hermione here, she's got her own issues she's trying (and failing) to deal with.
> 
> I recently had this feeling at work that all these people were connecting with each other and building relationships and I was the only one being left out. It felt awful and I was reduced to tears and was like, "What the eff is going on?" And I realized it had taken me back to how I felt in middle school and high school and it was so sudden and unexpected. Luckily it passed quickly, but I was thinking about that as I wrote Hermione in this chapter.
> 
> Sometimes you think some traumas are long gone, but you can be brought back to them in an instant and be surprised by the sudden intensity of emotion. Hermione has probably spent a lot of time trying to cope with the trauma from the war, but she was also bullied aggressively all through school and there's no way that didn't leave a mark too, and I'm guessing she hasn't spent a ton of time trying to unpack that pain.
> 
> There were a lot of references to past chapters in this one: Draco's ski trip and Birthday party were in Chapter 8. The scenes where Draco finds out they are married spread across Chapters 2 and 3. Then the time jump when Hermione was sad on her bed was from Chapter 14.
> 
> Thanks as always to my beta reader Lancashire Witch. Come see me on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson for more content related to this story. Thanks for reading!
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Fri, Dec-25.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

_The days catapult before me. The world is spinning too quickly. It gets harder and harder to retrace my steps. To figure out how I got to be here._

_Sometimes I picture all my other selves, standing in line like a row of dominoes; separate but part of the same disjointed whole. How can I hold a single one accountable? No one ever walks away from love, knowing they can never go back._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: October 2004 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

Draco and Hermione were currently eating lunch with her parents. Draco was trying to pay attention to Hermione's father as he explained some boring procedure that was supposed to revolutionize the future of treating gum disease, but Draco couldn't make himself stay engaged.

It didn't help that since Mr. Granger had started talking, Draco had thought of three spells and one potion that could accomplish the same thing much easier and with no pain. _Wait, make that two potions_ , Draco thought to himself as another one popped into his head.

He sighed and looked down at his soup and ate another spoonful before turning back to her father and nodding along politely. Fuck, today was going to be so long. He and Hermione had lunch with her parents every other Sunday and they went to the Burrow one Sunday a month. And sometimes, those two events fell on the same day.

Draco referred to those Sundays as double-detention days in his mind, though he never mentioned this to Hermione. He figured it could be worse. Potter had to spend every Sunday at the Burrow, though he seemed to enjoy it a lot more than Draco, unsurprisingly.

"What about you, Draco?" Mr. Granger asked, cutting into Draco's thoughts.

Shite, he hadn't been listening, and it was too bad because they'd just recently gotten to the point where her parents referred to him by name instead of calling him "boy" or just "you." He didn't want to backslide. Draco glanced over at Hermione and was relieved she didn't look annoyed. She was just giving him an apologetic smile. Well, that was good.

Things had been so tenuous between them since their fight from a few weeks ago, and though they'd technically made up once he returned from his time jump, there were still a lot of unresolved issues hanging in the air around them. The problem was, Draco only knew about half of them. He could feel the rest of them there, like an invisible barrier between them, but Hermione was still keeping so much to herself.

He just hoped if he stayed patient and tried to be the best husband ever, she'd eventually give in and tell him what was going on. So he didn't push her and tried not to engage in any arguments, not even playful bickering. He helped out around the house more than ever before, read through and edited all of her legal briefs, and tried to keep a smile on his face when forced to attend events he hated, like this lunch.

Unfortunately, Draco was running out of time, because he knew the time jump when his past self had treated her terribly - the one when she'd petrified him - was coming up in just a week. He didn't even want to think about how she'd punish him for the awful things he'd said to her once he was back home.

Draco saw that everyone was staring at him and remembered Mr. Granger had asked him something. "Uh, what was the question?"

"I was asking about your work. What is it you do again?"

Draco faltered. Nothing. That was the answer. He didn't have a job. He'd given it up right after the wedding when Hermione requested he avoid his father. At first he hadn't minded, since he could continue to manage the investments for the Malfoy Estate, which he liked better than attending political meetings anyway.

But about a month after Draco cut off contact with him, his father took the investment job away from Draco and assigned it to a team of money managers. He also cut Draco off from access to the Malfoy vaults so he couldn't fire the money managers and try to take the job back. Draco had almost gone to confront his father multiple times (which he figured was his father's plan) but stopped himself, since he'd made a promise to Hermione to stay away from him.

So now he didn't have a job, or access to his fortunes, or a family, for that matter. Well, no, he still had his mother, who he met for lunch once a week, but it didn't feel the same since he couldn't share those interactions with Hermione. She knew he still saw her, of course, but didn't seem to want to know any details.

"Draco is a money manager," Hermione cut in when Draco didn't say anything. "He manages investments, I told you that."

"What does that mean?" her mother asked.

"It's about the same as the equivalent job in the Muggle world. The only difference in the wizarding world is that there's magic you can employ to better your chances of improving your earnings."

"Sounds like cheating," Mrs. Granger snapped.

"It's not cheating if-"

"Is Draco no longer able to speak for himself?" her mother interrupted Hermione and looked over at Draco challengingly.

He tried his best to stay polite and not roll his eyes. "What Hermione was about to explain was that it's not cheating as long as you keep your investments with magical companies and governments. That way your competitors are on an equal playing field. As a general rule, we don't invest in Muggle financial markets, for that reason. We're allowed, but there are so many restrictions, it's better to avoid doing so, since it's very easy to break a law."

"Hmm, interesting." And her mother actually looked interested. She was like Hermione. Even when she was upset, she couldn't pass up a fascinating tidbit of information.

"Who do you manage investments for?" her father asked.

Draco sighed and said, "No one now," while Hermione said at the same time, "The Malfoy Estate."

"What?" Hermione looked over at Draco, confused.

"My father transferred that work to another team," he muttered back at her.

"But you're still working on some type of investments, I've seen you."

"That's just a hobby I do to keep from going mad." He lifted his eyebrows to indicate that they should continue this conversation later, but she wasn't picking up on his hints.

"Oh, so you're just investing your own money?" Hermione asked.

"No, I don't have access to my vaults anymore. I'm using our money."

Hermione's eyes widened in alarm and her mother cut in unhelpfully, "It sounds like you're using _Hermione's_ money for your little hobby. Seems risky."

Draco sighed heavily. "It's technically _our_ money, since we're married and she gave me access to it months ago, and I don't do anything risky. I think the largest investment I've made in the last two months was for ten sickles and my total earnings since I started are around one or two galleons." He turned to Hermione. "It's just to give me something to do."

She nodded at him and put a comforting hand on his leg, then seemed to realize, belatedly - he thought - that this wasn't the best conversation for them to be having in front of her parents. She turned back to her father. "Do you want to hear about _my_ work?"

Her mother shook her head. "In a moment. Let's just be clear on something. Draco is unemployed and unable to provide for you because his father fired him from the family business?"

"That about sums it up." Hermione said matter-of-factly. "Luckily, Draco is set to inherit a massive fortune once he turns 29 and I have plenty of money to support us until then. So there is no need to worry about our well-being, but I appreciate your concern."

Draco tried to suppress a grin. He loved when Hermione turned fiercely loyal like this, especially when he was the beneficiary. He wanted to kiss her but settled instead for squeezing her hand, which was still on his leg.

Hermione opened her mouth to start talking but her mother held her hand up. "Before you start in on what I'm guessing is going to be a very long conversation-" Draco snorted, then turned away from Hermione's stern glare. "-I have one more question for Draco.

Of course she did. She was just as stubborn as her daughter. Draco turned to her and waited for the question. "Why did your father cut you out of your family business and take away your money?"

"He never wanted me to marry Hermione and I believe this is his way of punishing me for going against his wishes."

"So you defied him?" she asked.

"Yes."

She stared at him with her dark brown eyes, then they softened and she smiled at him. "Good for you. Better late than never, I guess."

Draco smiled at her unexpected response. That was the first compliment she'd ever given him.

* * *

When they left her parent's house, Hermione grabbed his arm with both of her hands and leaned into him as they walked to the copse of trees at the end of the street, where they usually apparated from. As they walked in silence, Draco tried to brace himself for what he knew would be a loud afternoon.

He remembered seeing Hermione put a gift in her bag that morning which meant it was probably a birthday, or maybe a baby shower or anniversary? It was hard to keep track, there were so many Weasleys that on any given week, one of them was bound to be celebrating something.

Draco hoped Teddy and Andromeda would be there. Then he could feel like he had a little bit of family too, and if they weren't there he could always play with James. It was always preferable to talking to the adults who, with the exception of Potter and Ginny, were still wary of him.

They stopped when they got to the end of the road and ducked behind the trees. "Draco?"

Draco sighed and faced her. He guessed she was going to ask him more about the money.

"Why didn't you tell me about your father cutting you off?"

He shook his head and gave her a sad smile. "It's nothing, I promise. I can still buy things, since I have accounts setup at all the Wizarding Stores that are linked to the Malfoy vaults. And the house is paid for, so you don't need to worry. The only thing I can't do is get direct access to any funds for large purchases and investments, but like you said, in a few years, half the vaults will be mine."

"I'm not worried about the money, Draco. I'm worried about you. I didn't realize all that was going on and I really wish you'd told me." He cocked an eyebrow at her, and she gave him a small smile and buried her head in his chest. "We're having trouble communicating lately, aren't we?"

Draco almost laughed at that, since it was a massive understatement, but instead he just hummed in response.

"Shall we go?" he asked when she finally pulled away.

"Let's skip the Burrow, today."

Draco was clearly daydreaming. Her next words were probably going to be, _"And lock ourselves in the bedroom and shag for the remainder of the day."_ Because he knew there was no way the real Hermione had just said those words.

"What?"

She shrugged. "Let's just go home and watch the telly, get takeout from that Greek place we both like, and talk. Or not. We can sit in the silence - but a comfortable one, for a change. How does that sound?"

It sounded perfect. "But isn't there a birthday or something today? I saw you put a gift in your bag."

Hermione blushed. "I can never remember whose birthday it is. Besides Ginny and Ron, of course. But I always pack a gift - two actually - one for a kid and one for an adult - since there always seems to be some sort of celebration when we go over there. So what do you say? Do you want to go home, or were you really looking forward to the Burrow today?" she added with a grin.

Draco pulled her in for a kiss. He let himself relax and get lost in the feeling of her and it was wonderful. It was the closest he'd gotten to that intuitive and all-consuming feeling that used to come over him every time he kissed her, but had been lost in the past few weeks. He buried his hand in her hair and tilted her head up to deepen the kiss. Then with his other hand, he slipped his wand out of his pocket. He wrapped his wand arm around her to pull her close and disapparated.

The pressure of disapparition and the feeling of kissing Hermione combined to create a strange sensation that Draco and Hermione were being squeezed together into one, like two pieces of clay. Draco didn't hate it.

When they arrived in their sitting room Hermione pulled away from him, laughing. Draco leaned back on the arm of the sofa and watched her with a large smile on his face. He loved when she laughed so completely like this and it had been far too long since he'd seen it.

"I've never apparated in the middle of kissing someone. That was the oddest feeling."

He reached for her and pulled her close to him. "Do you want to do it again?"

She kissed his cheek, then whispered in his ear, "Sure, where are you going to take us?"

"You'll have to see." He kissed her again and in a few moments, when they disapparated, the feeling was less alarming since they were both expecting it, and this apparition was short, lasting less than a second.

When they pulled apart they were both standing next to a bed and Hermione laughed again when she saw where he'd taken them.

"I should have guessed, you're so predictable, Draco."

She leaned forward to kiss him again but he held her away. "Predictable am I? Well I'm assuming you think I brought you to our bedroom to shag, but that's not why we're here."

"It's not?" She looked amused.

"Lay down and close your eyes."

She did as he said and he settled next to her and used his wand to turn the ceiling into the night sky, as he'd done over a year ago to get her to open up to him about her parents. Maybe it would work again.

"Okay, open your eyes." Draco made a point not to look at her when she did so, since he didn't want to see the hesitation or disappointment when she realized what he was doing, but unfortunately, he could still hear it in her voice.

"Draco…"

"I'll wait here until you're ready to talk. Take as long as you need." He reached out for her hand and linked his fingers in hers as he continued to stare up at the stars.

"You know I've been feeling down. And it's - it's not to do with you, you're perfect. I -" She cut off and Draco silently willed her to continue.

"I know I need to talk about it, but I'm having trouble articulating it to myself."

Draco sighed and turned to face her. She was looking over at him with a guilty expression. "Try. Please," he urged. "Think about me, and us, and what it is that's making you hold back all of a sudden."

She looked up at the sky, but he kept his head turned so he could watch her while she talked. "I think everything was so easy, so quickly, and I just threw myself into our relationship. And I don't regret it, at all. But, lately, with my job being so stressful and your past self being mean to me, and trying to work through some stuff from the past so I can embrace you and your family more - I just-" she paused to take a deep breath and turned to face him.

Draco moved to his side and took both of her hands in his. "Everything was so easy between us to start, and then all of a sudden, it was hard. And I was a bit shocked and disappointed and started pulling away from you - it's like I'm swinging too far in the other direction. I - God, I know this makes no sense."

She pulled his hands up to her lips and kissed each one before continuing. "We're going to be okay, I'm sure of it." She didn't sound sure at all, but Draco didn't point it out. "This is something I need to sort through on my own first, just give me more time. We'll do this," she cocked her head up toward the stars, "I promise. Just not now. As you can probably tell, my mind is too much of a jumbled mess."

She crawled over to him and laid her head on his chest and he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close.

After a few minutes, she said in a soft voice as she stroked his chest, "We can shag though, if you want."

"Okay." He tried to keep his tone light, then sat up and began unbuttoning his shirt. Though this was the first time since he'd been with her that he was disappointed by the mention of sex.

* * *

_Present Time: October 2004 / Draco's Time: September 2000_

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

"Merlin, that was tense," Daphne said once she and Hermione reached the end of the street.

Hermione took a deep breath and let it out slowly, which always helped when her chest felt so tight it would implode, like it did now. She was on her second slow breath when Daphne's voice cut into her thoughts again.

"I had no idea you were tortured at the Manor. And while Draco and his parents watched?! How horrifying."

"Daph-ne," Hermione said through her third deep breath.

"Right, Merlin, I'm sorry. Not helpful. Uh, are you okay?"

Hermione nodded and took another breath before responding. "I didn't know she was going to bring up that day - I-" she cut off and pulled them both into an abandoned alley, then tried to take another breath.

"Oh Merlin, is this a panic attack? Is that what's happening here? Shite! I knew you should have told Draco. I told you to tell him-"

"Daphne, calm down!" Hermione grabbed her friend's forearms, then realized she was gripping them too tightly when she saw Daphne wince and loosened her grip.

Daphne was right, she probably should have told Draco she'd made plans to see his mother today. He could have warned her that she might bring up that day at the Manor. She knew his mother had meant to be kind and hadn't realized she'd be blind-sighting her. Luckily Hermione had made it to the end of their tea before completely falling apart.

Daphne was looking at her warily and Hermione finally let go of her. The reason she hadn't told Draco was because she knew he'd insist on going with her, but she couldn't have him there all the time. Some things she had to do herself. And a part of her wanted to surprise him with this. But at the last minute, she'd realized she couldn't do it completely alone, so she'd dragged Daphne along.

She thought Daphne was a good choice since she had ties with Hermione and Narcissa, but now she was rethinking her decision. Maybe Harry and Ron would have been better options.

"You look like you're feeling better. Are you feeling better? What do you need? Just tell me and I'll call Tippy to get you anything you need."

Hermione rolled her eyes. Did Daphne really think summoning a house elf right now was going to make her feel better? She conjured a glass of water and took a few sips as she assessed the tightness in her chest. It felt lighter than before. Watching Daphne act like a complete fool was helping a bit.

"You know, I think Narcissa was trying to be nice. That thing she said, about the worst punishment of it all was that she got away with it and now has to live with the awful things she let happen - that seemed sincere."

Hermione nodded kindly, but really wished Daphne would shut up. She didn't want to relive the whole tea right now.

"I know she's hard to read, but I've known her forever and she wasn't lying. I can tell."

"Daphne?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

"Oh, right, I'm sorry. I'm the worst friend. I don't know what to do. Do you need a hug? Or maybe I can just get Draco, that'll be best."

"Yes, that's exactly what I need. Here-" Hermione handed Daphne the half-full glass of water and almost laughed when Daphne took it and drained the entire thing in one gulp, before vanishing the glass.

Hermione leaned in and gave Daphne a hug, since she looked like she needed it. "I'm going to be fine, Daphne. You are a good friend and thanks for coming with me today. I'm going home now, okay?"

When she pulled away Daphne was looking at her warily. "Do you want me to go with you? Make sure you get back okay?"

"No, I can apparate by myself," Hermione checked her watch. "Draco should be there and he's the exact person I need right now. I'm already feeling better, see?" She gave Daphne a big smile, which felt a bit forced, but Daphne seemed to relax a little.

"Okay, send an owl or Floo-call tonight so I know you're okay."

"I will."

Hermione turned on her toe and appeared back at the sitting room of her house just inches away from Draco. She almost ran into his arms but stopped herself when she saw the twisted look of anger on his face.

"Well, well. If it isn't my lovely wife?" he sneered.

Her heart dropped and the tightness in her chest she'd spent the last few minutes relieving immediately returned. "Leave me alone, Draco." She ran up the stairs and when she reached the bedroom, she tried to slam the door but he was right behind her, holding it open.

She was so angry with Draco then. Both of them. This one for daring to yell at her like this after what she'd just been through for his sake, and her Draco for not being here when she needed him. The tension that had been bottled up inside her for months finally snapped and she hurled it all at this younger Draco. She was satisfied when he backed away, alarmed by the force of her anger.

But he regained his composure quickly and was soon throwing insults back at her. After a few minutes, she stormed off to the spare bedroom, just to get away from him, and locked herself inside, collapsing into sobs as soon as the door shut behind her.

* * *

The next morning, Hermione crept down the stairs quietly and saw Draco sleeping on the couch. She resisted the urge to hex him. How dare he sleep like that when she'd lain awake all night.

When she reached the kitchen, she banged the pots and pans loudly to wake him up, then went to make tea. He appeared in the room a few moments later.

"You do realize you're ruining the plan I had for my life? You took away everything I ever wanted for myself."

"Oh, and you think this matches the plan I had for myself?" she snapped back. "A husband who's constantly disappearing, then coming back in a different form and insulting me?"

"At least you got a choice in this," he argued.

Hermione went on to explain how she'd never had a choice in this damned time loop before rushing off to work. Needless to say, it was a very unproductive day for Hermione.

She really hadn't had a choice when it came to Draco, had she? She'd never really considered it before, but that was because she'd been happy. And now...would she do anything differently if she could?

She didn't return to her house that night. She spent the night with Ginny and Harry instead. She told Harry the truth and he'd given her a comforting hug and reminded her that Draco loved her. That wasn't the first time he'd told her something like this during one of Draco's time jumps and she wondered if they had some sort of arrangement setup.

The excuse she gave Ginny was that Draco was out drinking with his friends tonight and she thought it would be fun to have a girl's night.

"He'll be out all night on a Thursday?" Ginny asked suspiciously.

"Yep," Hermione said quickly. "Blaise calls it 'Thirsty Thursday.'"

By the next day, Hermione was wishing she'd come up with an excuse that would have given her more than one night away from this awful Draco. Maybe that Draco was on a trip or something, but Ginny assumed she'd want to get home and make sure her husband was still in one piece.

Hermione walked home, to give herself time to clear her mind, and she wondered if maybe she'd get lucky and her Draco would be back. But at the thought of seeing him again she hesitated. She was so angry with him. For not telling her about this jump, for treating her so terribly in the past, and mostly, for being gone when she so desperately needed him by her side.

Her Draco wasn't back when she got home, and the mean Draco had the nerve to grab her when she tried to rush past him, what a prat. He'd obviously been working on some grand finale of insults and she'd gotten so angry at the end of it that she petrified him and left him alone in the hall.

She skipped work that day and spent the first few hours walking around the streets of Muggle London. She stopped by the park and sat on the bench where Draco had proposed to her. As she watched the Muggles, she looked down at her ring and a single tear fell down her face as younger Draco's words came to her mind.

" _That ring. I would never give you that. I'm planning to use the Malfoy ring when I propose. It's been passed down in my family for centuries. And the fact that I didn't give it to you proves there's something off between us."_

When Narcissa had first seen Hermione on her wedding day, she'd noticed the ring and Hermione had seen an odd expression cross her face. She hadn't thought anything of it at the time, but this must be why. Draco had never mentioned another ring. Why hadn't he given it to her if it was so special to him?

His voice crept into her mind again and she began to cry silently as the cruel words echoed in her head.

" _I want you to know that I would never be attracted to someone like you."_

" _I find you to be a repulsive, annoying, bitchy know-it-all...the person I am today would never end up with you."_

" _Maybe this so-called pathetic Draco was drawn to love and connection, and you were the only one offering it to him in this fucked up timeline. But given the choice, I'm sure he never would have chosen lonely, pathetic, insecure Hermione Granger."_

* * *

_Present Time: October 2004 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

When Hermione finally returned home that day, she wondered if Draco would still be petrified in the hall. No, she'd been gone six hours and the spell she'd cast would have likely lasted no longer than three or four hours. She raised her wand before opening the door in case he decided to retaliate.

Her plan was to go straight to her bedroom and pack her bag, then go to Harry and Ginny's again. Draco was sitting in the main room when she got in and she looked right past him, eyes trained on the stairs ahead of her. But as soon as he spoke her name, she knew it was her husband.

She stopped in place and took a deep breath, considering turning back to face him. But no, he was too late. She shook her head, unable to speak, and ran upstairs, slamming the bedroom door behind her.

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

"Please, Hermione, it's me. Please let me in." Draco repeated this for the hundredth time as he continued working on untangling Hermione's locking charms. He wondered if she'd cast a silencing charm too and couldn't even hear him, but kept talking as he worked, just in case.

He told her how much he loved her and how sorry he was. And he even repeated as much of his wedding vows as he could remember. He swore under his breath. Why were her spells so strong when she was angry? But he figured it was a pretty good defensive mechanism.

It took him a full hour to finally break through her spells. He paused for a while with his hand on the doorknob before opening it. Should he leave her alone? She clearly didn't want to see him. It would be easier to leave and wait for her to cool down.

 _No, I decided to choose right over easy ages ago._ He opened the door quickly, but waited in the doorway with his wand raised, ready to fend off any hexes, but he lowered it once he saw her laying in bed with her back to him.

He approached slowly and carefully sat on the bed, but she didn't move or make a sound. "I'm sorry," he whispered. She stayed still.

He placed a hand on her and she flinched, but he kept it there and started rubbing her back.

"You were gone for three days, Draco." Her voice was hoarse when she finally spoke.

"I know, Hermione, I'm so sorry."

"I needed you here and you were gone, and that would have been bad enough, but the version of you that was here was so, so-"

"I know, but it wasn't about you. I was frustrated by the time loop and taking it all out on-"

"I don't want to hear it."

Draco stopped talking and kept rubbing her back. At least she was letting him touch her. Finally, she turned to face him and her eyes were red and wet and her hair was a mess. He didn't think he'd ever be able to forgive himself for being the cause of the pain he saw on her face.

"You were here when I got home Wednesday and started yelling at me as soon as I arrived."

Draco nodded, trying to convey with his eyes how sorry he was.

"Do you know what I was doing Wednesday? Where I'd just come from?" Draco racked his brain, but he couldn't remember her telling him about any plans.

"I went to tea with your mother."

Draco's heart dropped out of his chest and he began to wrap his arm around her. "I had no idea-" She slapped him away and he leaned back, alarmed by the hostile gesture.

"And I could tell you told her about the Manor, because she brought it all up in great detail and by the end of our meeting, I was on the verge of a panic attack, but I kept thinking, " _This is for Draco, and as soon as I get home he's going to pull me into his arms and tell me everything is going to be okay."_

Tears stung Draco's eyes and he desperately wanted to hold her, but kept his hands back.

"But you didn't do that, did you, Draco?"

"I didn't know," he whispered. "You should have told me-"

"This isn't my fault!"

"I know, that's not what I -"

" _You_ should have told _me_! Or warned me. Or better yet, you never should have said those things to me in the first place!"

Draco didn't know what to say to that, because she was completely correct. He remembered being so angry with the time jumping and had decided to take it out on the only other person there. He'd never actually thought he'd make it to this future, and he could have never guessed the consequences his idiotic actions would have.

"Hermione, please hear me-"

"No. I want you to go."

Draco stood up from the bed, but he didn't leave. Every instinct in his body was telling him not to leave her when she looked this sad and lonely.

"I said go," she repeated in a dangerous voice, but he stood his ground.

Before he could say something else, she picked her wand up and pointed it straight at him. Purple sparks were coming out the end of it and Draco stepped back a few more paces.

"Go, or I'll blast you into the hall."

Draco sighed, then nodded and left the room, closing the door softly behind him.

* * *

Draco woke up at the sound of the bedroom door opening. He was sitting on the ground in the hall and must have dozed off. He rushed to his feet, stumbling a little since he was still half asleep.

Hermione rushed past him without a word and he followed her down the stairs and into the kitchen. She started making tea and he leaned against the counter and watched her, trying to think of the best thing to say, but she ended up speaking first.

"Do you remember what you said to me?"

Draco nodded.

"All of it?"

He nodded again.

"So you remember there was a lot of confusion about how you ended up with - how did you put it? 'A repulsive, annoying, bitchy know-it-all who you could never be attracted to.'" She stopped to face him from the other end of the counter.

"Hermione, please-" he tried to grab for her hands but she pulled them back so he couldn't reach.

"But I pointed out that it wasn't really fair to spend all our time wondering how the wonderful Draco Malfoy could possibly end up with me, when the real question was how _I_ ended up with _you."_ Her eyes were cold, and her expression was mean. He hadn't seen her look at him like this since school. He could tell she was trying to hurt him, and it was working. He felt tears sting his eyes.

"How did I end up with you, Draco?" Draco knew it was a rhetorical question and dropped his head and sighed instead of trying to answer it.

"I didn't have a choice, did I?" she continued. "When you first came into my life you knew exactly what to say to me and exactly what I'd like. I didn't stand a chance. And when I was trying to say no to you, you insisted, and then used that poem."

"You told me that poem," he argued. "You wanted me to tell your past self. That much was clear."

"I didn't have the whole story, then, did I?" she bit back. "You never told me you'd treat me like this!"

"You've seen past versions of me before, and I told you we'd fight, and that we'd be sad. You knew there were hard times in our future and you said you didn't care!"

"I was wrong! I do care. You should have told me everything!" Draco felt like he'd been struck. He stepped back from the counter and tried to clear his mind. He'd decided to let Hermione yell at him, hit him, even hex him if it made her feel better, but his resolve was wavering.

"And you know what makes it worse?" she asked, seemingly unaware (or maybe just past caring) of the effect her words were having on Draco. "I know what was happening on the other end of the time jump. I remember the time you came into the café for three days straight. You were chatting and joking and, and, _flirting_ with that other Hermione while I was here suffering."

Draco had no response for that. He'd felt unbelievably guilty the whole time he was with her in the past, since he knew what she was going through in his time. But he had to stay committed, didn't he? If he hadn't charmed Hermione, he never would have ended up with her. Though it seemed like that's exactly what she'd have preferred.

"You're the time traveler causing all of these problems," she continued, "but you get the best of everything. When I see your past self, it's awful, but I was only ever nice to you! How is that fair, Draco?"

Draco's anger finally bubbled over and he abandoned his previous plan to sit quiet and let her yell at him. "You think it's easy for me? I'm sick of this narrative that I'm the big, bad Slytherin who tricked you into this. You're not stupid, Hermione. You knew what you were getting into and you chose this."

Her eyes flashed with anger, which just goaded him on. How dare she pretend that she didn't have a choice. "Have you already forgotten our wedding day? I was warning you not to marry me, but you took advantage of the time jump to make sure we did it anyway."

She narrowed her eyes at him but didn't respond. "Or what about when you forced me to ignore the fact that I was obliviated twice? We both know there's something bad looming in our future, something that may have convinced us to stop all this, but _you're_ the one insisting we ignore it. Not me, Hermione."

She was still silent and he was glad this time, since he had so much more to say and had been keeping it in for too long. "And what about whatever has been going on this last month? You promised me you loved me no matter what, then you took it back without any explanation! Who does that? You say I'm getting the best of everything, but you're wrong," his voice cracked on the last word and he sighed and gripped the edge of the counter tightly.

"I used to think the time travel was a gift," he said in a low voice. "Because without it, I wouldn't have you. But lately - I wonder if I had it wrong." He stared into her eyes while he talked. "Maybe this is my punishment for the war. Because loving you, Hermione, it tears me to pieces. Then right when I don't think I can take anymore, you put me back together, just so you can tear me up again later. There was a dark curse that did the exact same thing."

"That's a terrible thing to say," she hissed, and he saw a few tears fall down her face when she blinked.

He shook his head and dropped it. "It's what I'm feeling, Hermione. I thought that's one of the benefits of having someone love you unconditionally. You can share your darkest thoughts without judgement. But we've already established you don't love me like that, haven't we?"

When he looked up at her, her face was impassive. He studied her eyes, but he couldn't read any emotion there besides anger.

"You want to hear my dark thoughts?" she didn't wait for his response before continuing. "I agree. This love _is_ torture. But why am _I_ getting punished? I wasn't a foul Death Eater."

The pain her previous words had caused in him were nothing compared to this. Draco felt like he'd had the breath kicked out of him and slowly back away from the counter. He could tell by her expression she was surprised herself and she looked contrite, but he didn't care anymore.

He turned away from her and heard her follow behind him, "Draco, stop. I didn't mean it."

He went to the fireplace and pointed his wand at the empty hearth with one hand while he picked up a pile of Floo powder in the other. The flames appeared suddenly and he stepped back, surprised by the intensity of his spell.

"Where are you going?"

Draco finally turned back to Hermione as he threw the Floo powder into the fire. "Home," he said in a dark voice.

She looked confused and he turned to the fire and yelled, "Malfoy Manor!" before stepping into the green flames. He caught a glimpse of her face as he was spinning away and thought to himself, _You're not the only one who can hurt the other, Hermione._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh man, it really is our loved ones who can hurt us the most. These two were both bottling things up for too long, and now this…
> 
> Also, what an effing depressing chapter to post on Christmas. Sorry about that guys. Hopefully you can find plenty of fluffy, holiday-themed Dramione one-shots to make you feel better after reading this. Please hang in there, these two will get through this. And as a special Christmas gift to all of you for your continued support of this story, I'm posting two chapters today!
> 
> If you think Hermione was overly harsh in this chapter, I encourage you to go back and read the other side of the time jump at the beginning of Chapter 5. I didn't want to rehash all their arguments, but Draco was truly awful to her.
> 
> Thanks so much to my beta-reader Lancashire Witch. I told her how writing chapters like this make me a bit of an emotional wreck and she helped keep my spirits up and even made me a super-cute comic about it (which unfortunately I can't share since it contains major spoilers).
> 
> Please come visit me on Tumblr (Alexandra-Emerson) for more content related to this story.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I posted two chapters today. Make sure you read 33 first!

**Chapter 34**

_There were times when I was with him and it was too much. Does that make sense? When someone stirs a world of emotion in you and it's so intense you can barely stand to be with him._

_During those moments, I wanted so desperately to leave- to go home, walk into my bedroom, and shut the door behind me. Crawl into bed and lay there in the dark, tracing the outline of my lips with my fingers- replaying everything he said, everything we did. I wanted to be left alone- with nothing other than my thoughts of him._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: October 2004 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Theo Nott **

"What are you doing here?" Theo asked as he walked into Draco's bedroom at Malfoy Manor. Draco was laying on his four-poster bed, reading a book about Quidditch.

"Reading," Draco said without looking up.

"I can fucking see that, and you know that's not what I meant," Theo snapped back.

Draco huffed and turned the page, clearly not in the mood to talk to Theo, but Theo didn't care. "What did you do?"

That set Draco off. He jumped up from the bed and before Theo knew what had happened, he was pressed against the wall with a wand shoved into his chest. "I didn't do anything! This isn't all my fault! Did Hermione tell you that?"

Theo had thought Hermione looked bad when he saw her, but now that he was seeing Draco up close, it seemed like he was faring worse. His eyes were wild and sunken in. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, and he smelled a little stale too. Theo guessed he probably hadn't bathed in a few days either, and that was telling, given how fastidious Draco usually was with his appearance.

"That's not what she said. Calm down, Draco." Theo sidled out of Draco's grasp, but Draco kept his wand trained on him. "Uh, can you stop pointing your wand at me?"

"Tell me what she said, first," Draco growled.

Theo sighed and rolled his eyes. "I just stopped by to check if you were going to the ball tonight and found Hermione crying on the couch."

"Which couch?"

"Um...the one facing the fireplace."

Draco's eyes softened and he lowered his wand a little. "What did she say?"

"I was telling you before you interrupted me. She said she wasn't coming to the ball and didn't know if you were. And when I asked her what was wrong, she said you'd gotten into a fight and that you'd spent the last two nights here. Then I came straight here because I was sure you must have lost your fucking mind."

Draco sighed and went back to the bed. He sat on the edge and dropped his head in his hands, looking completely dejected.

"Why the fuck are you here?" Theo asked. "I understand that sometimes couples fight, but you could have come to my house, or stayed with Blaise at your old flat. Surely, you knew by coming here you-"

"I know, Theo! Okay? I did it to hurt her, is that what you want to hear?"

Theo took a deep breath, unsure what to say to that. He went to sit next to Draco on the bed. "Why?"

"Because she hurt me," Draco said into his hands. Well, that was obvious. Theo thought he looked like he was bleeding, but without any visible wounds.

"Tell me what happened."

Draco was silent and Theo thought he wouldn't respond. He wasn't surprised. Draco wasn't much of a talker. Just when he was considering getting Daphne to see if she could get more out of him, he pulled his head out of his hands and started speaking. "She's rethinking being with someone so evil."

"That doesn't sound right."

Draco shrugged.

"Did something happen?" Theo pressed. "Because the last I checked, you stopped being evil years ago."

"Maybe. But my past self keeps coming forward and fucking things up."

Theo nodded. When Draco first told Theo about the time travel, he explained that his past self had been the one to hit her with the stinging hex a few years ago. He also yelled at her the day after they got engaged, but hadn't that been going on for a while? What had changed Hermione's mind about Draco now? This didn't really make sense. "Did something change? Because I thought you two have been dealing with shitty, past Draco for a while."

Draco sighed. "I don't know. I was sure something must have changed and that if she'd just tell me what it was, I could fix it. But...I'm not so sure anymore. I think maybe she's had a problem with who I was, in the past, for some time and now she's finally had enough."

Theo shook his head. It didn't sound like Hermione, who was usually so direct. There must be something else going on. The fact that Draco didn't know what it was, was concerning, since he and Hermione always seemed to be eerily in-sync.

Theo put his hand on Draco's shoulder (which felt odd, but he was hoping to snap him out of his dark mood somehow). "Come on, mate. You know the future, yeah? I'm sure it all works out."

That seemed to be the wrong thing to say. Draco's eyes welled with tears and he dropped his head again. Theo slowly removed his hand from Draco's shoulder. "What? You're not together in the future?"

"I don't know. I know something really bad happens next summer. I never imagined it would be us splitting up, but - I mean, it fits. Maybe that's what my father kept telling me. Maybe he didn't want me to go through the trouble of marrying a Muggleborn if we'd just end up divorced."

"But why would he obliviate you?"

"If that's what he was telling me, I bet I obliviated myself."

"You can't obliviate yourself," Theo pointed out.

Draco shrugged, "Not well." He sighed and when he turned back to Theo, he looked worse than when Theo had first showed up. Merlin, he was so fucking depressed. Would Theo ever find someone he cared about so much, that they were able to drive him to this level of misery? He hoped he'd be that lucky.

Theo was trying to think of something comforting to say, but Draco ended up talking first. "I don't know if she'll ever truly be able to forgive me, for who I was."

"Have you forgiven yourself?"

"What?"

Theo shrugged. "I mean, how can you expect her to forgive you when you can't?"

Draco shook his head. "I thought I could, but I think I need her to do it first."

"Maybe she needs you to do it first. Dragon or the egg kind of conundrum, I guess. But you two are used to those. You have them all over your time loop - things with no beginning or end."

Draco cocked an eyebrow at him and looked disconcerted. Theo was sure he was going to tell him off, but then he smiled and said, "You know, you're sort of smart."

"That was sort of a compliment."

Draco nodded.

"Okay, I have another smart thing to say. Ready for it?"

Draco shrugged and Theo took that as his cue to continue. "You two have a lot to work through, which makes sense given your history, but you're both smart and love each other more than any other two people I've ever seen. But it's not going to get any better if every time she thinks of where you are, she remembers Malfoy Manor."

"Fuck, I know." Draco started raking his hands through his hair. "I'll move back tonight. I'm such a fucking idiot, I don't know why I came here."

"You already said - to hurt her, because she hurt you." Draco pushed Theo and he almost fell off the bed. "Hey!"

"I rescind my earlier compliment; you're a tactless idiot."

Theo nodded, then finally stood up and straightened his robes. "This feels more natural. So, we're not going to the ball tonight, right?"

"Of course not. Even before we were fighting, we weren't going to go. I keep getting attacked by my father when I attend that event, so I'm going to skip this one."

"Good. I can catch the newest episode of the Great British Bake-off," Theo muttered as he went back to Draco's fireplace to Floo away.

"Wait, you still watch that show?"

Theo shrugged.

"How? I know you're not coming round to our place. And you can't get TVs to work at your house."

"Mind your fucking business." Theo flipped him off and Draco stuck his tongue out. That was something he'd picked up from Hermione. Theo shook his head, then added before stepping into the flames, "Take a bath before you go back home. You smell."

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

Hermione was laying on the couch, counting the cracks on the ceiling as she absently petted a napping Crookshanks, when Draco arrived through the Floo. Hermione started and tried to sit up but had forgotten she had a very heavy cat on her chest and flopped back down on the couch inelegantly. She saw Draco's mouth twitch as he watched her try to extricate herself from the large cat without waking him. After watching her struggle for a few moments, he finally came over and picked Crookshanks up easily and placed him on the other end of the couch.

Crookshanks mewed softly before going right back to sleep, leaving Hermione and Draco in an awkward silence. Hermione was relieved when Draco spoke first.

"I shouldn't have left. Or, well, at least not there. I apologize." He sounded so formal and it reminded her of the voice he used during Floo calls with his father's money managers. Well, how he _had_ sounded, she corrected, before he'd given his job up for her.

"What I said, it was awful, and I didn't mean it," she said in a rush.

He gave her a curt nod. "We both said awful things." Then he looked around the room and his gaze stopped on her pillow and blanket. "You've been sleeping here?"

"I wanted to be here as soon as you got back."

"Oh, right. Well, I'm back." He looked at her hopefully. _Talk Hermione!_ Her mind was racing, but she couldn't think of anything to say. She'd been waiting for him to come back, desperate to see him, but she hadn't spent any time thinking through what she'd say when he was finally standing in front of her. She'd assumed the words would come, but she was completely speechless.

"Right," he dipped his head and reached out to grab one of her hands. He paused for a second, like he was waiting to see if she was going to shake it off first, and when she didn't, he squeezed it softly. "You can move back to our room; I'll sleep in the spare bedroom."

Her heart fell. Is that what he wanted? Or did he just think she wanted that? She _had_ been the one to kick him out in the first place, and they hadn't resolved any of the issues they'd been fighting about. "I love you," she whispered.

Draco let out a sigh, then lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it softly before dropping it. "I love you too, Hermione."

He left the room and she could hear him upstairs in their bedroom. She then heard him walk across the hall and she hugged her arms around herself and sat back on the couch. Crooks was awake now and sat on her lap, purring loudly.

Why hadn't she told him to stay in their room with her? She wondered, though a part of her knew why. She was worried he hadn't been offering to sleep in the other room for her sake, but was doing so because he needed time away from her.

What followed were the longest and loneliest two weeks of Hermione's life. She likened it to the weeks following Ron's abandonment during their Horcrux hunt. When she and Harry had no idea what to do and had to take turns wearing a piece of Voldemort's soul.

She and Draco didn't have any more fights, but they also didn't have any more conversations. They were just living in the same house. Hermione remembered a quote of Dante's that she'd never fully understood until now. "Hell is proximity without intimacy."

She and Draco also had an unspoken agreement to suspend all their social commitments. They didn't go to weekly drinks at Nott Manor or dinners at Grimmauld Place. He stopped meeting her for lunch on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and they'd also skipped visiting her parent's house and the Burrow.

Hermione told everyone they'd been sick, and she wondered if whatever excuse he'd been giving matched. Were their friend's comparing notes? Were they all talking about them? Did she care? She sighed. Either way, if they hadn't made any headway by the next weekend, she'd have to go to her parent's house alone. She could tell they were concerned about her. With their history, she knew she shouldn't leave them alone since they might jump to the conclusion that she was in danger again.

There was a knock on her door then and her heart leapt. She ran to the mirror to check her appearance - then tied her hair up, then pulled it back down.

"Hermione?"

She gave her reflection one final look before going to the door, taking a deep breath before opening it. "Hi."

"Hi. Uh, I just came to tell you that I'm time jumping tomorrow. I won't be mean, since it's after we started dating."

"Oh," Hermione tried to hide her disappointment. "Was that it?"

"Yes. Unless you have something you want to discuss?" He looked hopeful and her suspicion that he'd been waiting this whole time for her to be the one to break the silence was confirmed. She knew that was fair, since she'd been the one to start it, but she had no idea what to say.

He sighed and gave her a nod before disappearing down the stairs. _Come back! I love you! Tell me we get past this!_ The words were right there on the tip of her tongue, but for some reason she couldn't force them out.

* * *

** Lucius Malfoy **

Lucius was reading in his study when the family clock chimed softly, indicating one of the family members had moved locations. He looked up and saw the _Draco Malfoy_ hand leave the spot labeled _Malfoy Manor_ and drift to the other end of the clock face before landing on the _London House_ spot next to the _Hermione Malfoy_ hand.

It had annoyed Lucius to no end when he'd found a new hand on this clock with that insufferable girl's name on it after they'd returned from their wedding. He'd hoped it wouldn't recognize her as a proper Malfoy, since he, the current head of the estate, had never accepted her. There she was though, and he had to watch her travel from _London House_ to _Work_ every day as he wondered if she was the first female Malfoy to ever end up at the _Work_ spot on the clock. He did find solace, however, in the fact that the clock didn't recognize her ridiculous hyphenated name.

He sighed. So Draco had returned to her. _Damn._ When Draco had first shown up at Malfoy Manor, Lucius had assumed it meant he'd finally seen the reason in Lucius' arguments and decided to leave Hermione, but Draco refused to tell Lucius anything about it. Draco had later confided in Narcissa that he and Hermione were fighting.

Then, Lucius had hoped whatever they were fighting about would last a long time, and ultimately end in their divorce. That would have certainly made his problems easier, but he'd never really thought that was likely; Draco loved that girl more than Lucius had ever thought possible. It was just too bad she didn't love Draco as deeply in return.

He sighed and leaned back in his chair. He wished Draco wasn't taking this all out on him. He missed his son, but he understood why Draco would want to blame someone for all this. It had been Lucius' fault, at least indirectly.

"Draco's gone back home," Narcissa appeared in the doorway.

"I saw," Lucius motioned toward the clock. "Is it for good, do you think?"

Narcissa rolled her eyes. "I know you want them to split up, but you have to see how good she is for him. He's been a mess these past few days without her. He seemed almost worse than the darkest times from the war."

"I didn't see," Lucius said angrily, "since he refused to look at me the whole time he was here."

"And who's fault is that?"

Lucius shook his head and made his face blank. He couldn't tell her, not now when there was still time. One day, he might have to finally confess what he knew, and his role in all of it. Merlin, he hoped that day would never come.

* * *

_Present Time: November 2004 / Draco's Time: September 2002_

* * *

** Ginny Potter **

"Hermione? Ferret?" Ginny called out for her friends while she walked around their empty house. Where were they? She knew they weren't with any friends, and they were supposed to be sick. So they shouldn't be going out in public, especially not in this weather.

As if on cue, a tree outside banged against the house and she felt James tense up in her arms. "It's okay, Love. Just a storm, remember? Storms sound scary, but they can't hurt you."

He laid his head on her chest and she went back to searching the house. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and pulled out her wand to cast a _Hominem Revelio_ charm. Well, someone was upstairs.

"Ferret? Hermione?" Still no answer, but whoever it was had certainly heard her, unless they'd cast a silencing charm on the door. She hesitated for a moment, but remembered Hermione's prowess when it came to casting wards. Whoever it was, was someone safe. Maybe Hermione or Malfoy were just sleeping off their illness.

She checked her wand and saw the figure was in the spare bedroom. That was odd. Did they have a house guest? She knocked on the closed door and was surprised to find a very healthy-looking Malfoy on the other side.

"Ferret."

"Ginerva." His eyes flashed to James and he looked like he was searching for his name. Then he said, "Mini-Potter."

Ginny cocked her head in confusion. "Are you sleeping in here, ferret?"

He crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame. "Mind your business, Ginerva."

"Where have you two been?"

"Sick. And I'm very contagious. I don't want you and the baby to catch this, so..." he had grabbed the door and was about to shut it on her when she shoved her foot in the way.

"I know the signs of a fight when I see one. Tell me what's wrong."

He sighed. "Just leave."

"Fine. Then tell me where Hermione is."

"She's at her parents'."

Ginny's eyes widened. "What happened to the promise you made her?"

"What?"

"After that Christmas when they yelled at her for dating you. You told her you'd never make her see them alone again. That you'd be at her side to support her."

His eyes widened in surprise, then he looked contrite. "I'm sick," he repeated, "and she said it was fine if I didn't go," he added defensively. Then he closed the door before Ginny could stop him. She heard the sound of a few different locking charms and knew she'd have a time of trying to undo them all, so she didn't even try.

"That was incredibly odd," she muttered to James as she went back to the drawing room to Floo home.

* * *

_Present Time: November 2004 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

When Draco returned from his time jump, he appeared in the spare room. He got up and went to check on Hermione and was surprised when his charm showed she was in their bedroom. He wondered if she was as bored as he was of this house. What was keeping her here? He felt like he couldn't leave, since he wanted to be here the second she decided she was ready to talk to him, but she could come and go if she wanted to.

He'd been going a bit mad the last few weeks, staring at the bare walls of the spare bedroom. Spending the day at Hermione's flat, in the past, had felt like such a relief. She'd been disappointed they'd had to stay inside because of rain, but he'd been excited to get a chance to look at some different walls.

He knocked on the door. "It's me, Hermione. I'm back."

"Okay," he heard her muffled voice from the other side.

"Can I come in?" He didn't know what he'd say if she let him in. Nothing he'd tried so far had worked to get her to start talking to him, but it didn't matter. He just wanted to see her. When he heard her affirmation on the other side, he opened the door and his heart fell when he caught sight of her.

She was upset. Shite. What had happened now? He remembered this jump. They'd had a brief, sad, conversation, then she'd gone to her parents. Was that the problem? Had they been rude? It didn't seem like it. Her displeasure seemed to be directed at him.

"What is it?" he asked carefully. "What did my past self do this time?"

He took a seat on the bed and Hermione sat up and linked her arms around her legs. "You were fine. We were dating and I could tell he just wanted to get back to his happier Hermione."

Draco stayed quiet, unsure what the problem was then, but he didn't want to just come out and ask. "I'd ask how your jump was, but I remember it from the other side," she continued.

Draco tensed. He knew where this was heading. He looked away from her and watched the tree outside blowing in the wind.

"As soon as I saw you, I kissed you on the cheek, but then I was horrified. We hadn't made our deal yet not to kiss the other person and I remember you laughed so hard at my reaction. Do you remember what you said?"

Draco didn't answer.

"Of course you do. It was just yesterday for you. You said, 'Relax, Hermione, a kiss on the cheek here or there is fine. It's not like we've ever shagged the other version of ourselves.' Then I blushed and admitted that _that_ actually hadn't happened yet in my time. Then you teased me endlessly about it for the rest of the day and told me how cute it was that I was so embarrassed by sex and how that would certainly go away."

"Hermione, why are you doing this?"

She ignored him. "And I asked you why you thought that had gone away, since I couldn't imagine at the time that I'd all of a sudden be comfortable with the idea of openly discussing sex. And you said something flirty. I don't remember exactly - what was it?"

"Hermione, stop."

"I'm sure you love jumping to the past at times like this. You get a break from me to see a nice, younger Hermione. That spark of new love. And you can convince yourself it's not cheating because she's technically your wife."

Draco took a deep, steadying breath. "It's not like that, Hermione. I prefer you."

Hermione pulled her legs tighter against her chest. "I need you here with me, Draco. I feel - I feel like I've completely lost control of my life, and I want you _here_ , but then you disappear and you're joking and flirting with _her._ I can see it in your eyes, they're brighter. You like going to the past, don't you?"

Draco reached out and grabbed her legs gently and when she didn't push him away, he laid his forehead on her knees. He stayed there for a few minutes, relishing the feel of being so close to her. He could barely smell her flowery scent and wanted to pull her closer, but didn't want to push his limits.

"I _was_ happy yesterday, with the other Hermione. Do you know why?" He kept his head down, so he wouldn't have to see her face when he said the next thing. "She looked at me like I was worth something, and I didn't realize, until then, how long it had been since you'd done the same. So yes, I joked with her and had a nice time, wondering the whole time if it was the last good day I'd share with you."

He let his words hang in the air, waiting for her to deny them, but she was quiet. He remembered a time, just a month ago, when he couldn't shut her up, and now he barely heard her voice.

"You say you need me, but you banished me from the bedroom and we barely talk. And I feel like you're just inventing reasons to be angry with me now."

When he finally lifted his head, she was looking at him sadly with silent tears streaming down her face. He tightened his grip on her legs. "Say something, Hermione."

"I don't know what to say, Draco. I don't know how to get from where we are now to where we were." She pulled away from him and Draco let go of her legs and sat back on his heels.

"So what? You're finished with this conversation?" he asked, hurt and irritated. She nodded and he sighed, then stood up from the bed and began walking back to his room. When he got to the doorway, he turned back to her and she was still watching him with her legs pulled up to her chest.

"I remember the last time jump, too. You told me you were upset because it had become clear to you that we never would have ended up together without the time travel. And that's more words than you've said to me in weeks. Why tell him what you're feeling and not me?"

She was quiet, not surprisingly. "And I told you that was probably true, but that I am so much happier in my life with you than I ever would have been in another life. Then I asked if it was the same for you. Do you remember what you said? Because I still do."

He saw tears start to stream down her face again. "You said, 'I don't know.'" She continued to look at him quietly and he walked back to the bed and stopped when he reached her side. "Is that still your answer, Hermione?"

She shook her head, then placed it against her knees and began to sob. Draco sighed and placed a hand on her back, then he leaned down and kissed the top of her head before going back to the door.

He stopped in the doorway again. This time he gripped the doorframe with the edge of his fingers and squeezed as hard as he could until his fingertips were white and his hands ached. He'd prefer to hit it until his knuckles were bloody, but he didn't want to scare Hermione. He looked over at her and she was still crying silently but was watching him.

"My answer is the same as yours," she said in a rough voice. "My life, with you, is better than any other life I could have imagined."

Draco shook his head. "Even now? Because you don't look very happy."

She ignored his question. "Break rule number one, Draco. Tell me. Do we get past this?"

He leaned his forehead against the doorframe and thought for a long while before responding. "You're the only one who can answer that question." He turned his head to look at her. "You know how I feel. I'm all in, and now you just need to decide if you are too."

She didn't answer, predictably, so he forced himself up, then down the hall, and away, toward the boring, bare-walled bedroom.

* * *

** Ginny Potter **

Ginny was decorating the Christmas tree while James sat on the floor, happily swatting at the ornaments. She bent to check that the unbreakable charms she'd placed on the lower ornaments were still in place, then turned to look at Hermione, who was stringing garlands, completely lost in her own thoughts.

She looked so incredibly sad, but wouldn't tell Ginny anything about it, though Ginny had a good idea what was going on. "So anyway," Ginny kept talking, even though it was clear Hermione wasn't paying attention. "Parvati is very nervous about having a Christmas baby. And I don't blame her. No one wants to spend their Christmas like that."

Hermione hummed in response.

"And Ron, you know him, he's just worried the baby will be born with tentacles - like the giant squid."

"That's nice," Hermione said distractedly.

"Hermione!"

Hermione jumped and finally focused on Ginny. "What?"

"You're not listening. And you haven't been since you arrived."

Hermione nodded sadly and Ginny checked that James was distracted, then went to join Hermione on the couch. She pulled the garland away from Hermione and turned to face her. "Let's talk, okay?"

"Uh, sure," Hermione responded. "How is James?"

Ginny sighed. "He's a baby, there's nothing new to report. Tell me about you."

"Oh, uh, not much to report with me either. Work is good."

"Okay. And you and Malfoy? How are you two doing?"

"Oh, also good." Merlin, Hermione was a terrible liar.

Ginny placed her hands on Hermione's shoulders and channeled her mother as she said in a stern voice, "Hermione, it's time for you to tell me what's going on with Malfoy."

Hermione leaned back but Ginny kept a firm grip on her. "I just said, me and Draco are fine."

"I didn't ask about you and Malfoy - though we'll definitely circle back to that because I know he's sleeping in the spare room and probably has been for weeks. I'm talking about Malfoy and whatever his 'condition' is."

Hermione finally pulled out of Ginny's grasp and crossed her arms. "I don't know what you're talking about, Ginny."

Ginny sighed and leaned back on the couch. "Come on, I'm not thick. I popped by your house a few days ago when you were with your parents and I talked to him. There was clearly something wrong. He looked different and he barely glanced at James. When has he ever passed up a chance to hold him?"

"I told you, we've been sick. He probably didn't want to pass it on."

"Hermione. That's enough. I know Harry already knows, but he won't tell me. He said it's your secret to tell, but it's clear you need someone to confide in. It's eating you up. I'm not asking for my own curiosity. I'm trying to help you, Hermione."

"I have Harry to confide in."

"Yeah? And have you talked to Harry about whatever's going on with you and Malfoy? You're clearly fighting, and I'm guessing it's related to this big secret. You need someone you can talk to about your relationship, and we both know Harry won't be much help there. You were so helpful when I was having problems, now it's time for me to return the favor."

She dropped her head and Ginny saw a single tear land on her leg. "Are you sure you're not just going to tell me he's not good enough for me and that I shouldn't have married him in the first place?"

"Oh, Hermione." She wrapped an arm around her friend. "I'm on your side, and he's your husband. I'll only bash him if he's done something to deserve it - recently," she added.

Hermione looked over at James who was still occupied with the ornaments.

"He's not going to tell anyone. Come on, Hermione. Out with it."

Then Hermione finally told her what was going on with Malfoy, and it was insane. Time travel? Out of all the things Ginny had imagined, even the craziest scenarios, time travel had never crossed her mind. Why would it? Everyone knew all the time turners were destroyed. Well, all except one - which now was living inside Malfoy.

She wanted to ask thousands of follow-up questions, but would save those for Harry later tonight. Hermione was finally talking, and Ginny knew it was time to shift her focus back to her relationship problems before she shut down again.

"So what are you fighting about?" Ginny asked.

Hermione let out a huge sigh and Ginny wondered how long she'd been holding all that breath in. "Everything, and also, nothing. He was gone when I really needed him to be here, because he was in the past. And his past self who was here in his place was so cruel to me, because he didn't want us to get married. And I was reminded forcibly of how awful he used to be, and I'm worried he never actually liked me, just liked the loving future he kept jumping to with me. He wanted a loving wife and a happy marriage. Not me."

"Well, we all know he didn't like you in the past, but he's obviously changed his mind. Just like you have about him."

"I don't know. I feel like it was all inevitable and I never got a choice. In the beginning, he was my husband, the Draco now, visiting my past self and befriending me. Then we met up in the same time and got on so quickly and easily, because we both sort of loved the future version of the other. But - it never would have happened otherwise. That's not natural, is it?"

"So what, Hermione? You don't want to do this anymore? I have to imagine you knew what you were getting into."

"I - I don't know," she hesitated and looked back over at James, who was trying to eat one of the ornaments now. Ginny pulled her wand out and cast an engorgement charm on the ornament so it was too large for him to fit in his mouth before turning back to Hermione.

"Sorry. What were you saying?"

She sighed. "It's just so hard when he comes from the past and looks at me like he did in school. Everything from that time comes rushing back. And I can't look at my Draco the same when he returns."

Ginny nodded. "Malfoy was an absolute prat in the past. But the man he is now, loves you even more than I think you can see." Hermione looked at her, confused. "His eyes track you around the room, did you know that?"

Hermione shook her head. "And even when you're on separate ends of the room, he always seems to be turned toward you, so he can rush to you the second you need something."

Hermione snorted. "I'm sure that's just so he can be ready for us to make a quick escape. Sometimes he's still uncomfortable around all of you."

"No, that's not it, believe me. You'll be talking, then you'll stop to clear your throat and he'll hand you a glass of water. Or I'll see you about to raise your hand to scratch an itch and his hand will be there in a moment to scratch it for you. I've never seen someone so attuned to another person's wellbeing. And that's coming from a new mum. So maybe he didn't like you before, but he lives for you now."

Hermione was shaking her head slowly, but Ginny could tell she was thinking hard. She smirked and added, "I bet that level of devotion translates well into the bedroom."

"Ginny!" Hermione pushed her and Ginny just laughed, taking Hermione's deep blush as confirmation. "I'm trying to talk about something real here."

Ginny shrugged, "How is that not real?" She sighed. "Okay, well what do you think about what I said before? Do you even notice that stuff anymore? If you're worried he doesn't love you, you should pay more attention. Because that's the stuff of real love, I think. Grand, romantic gestures are nice, but it's the little things that sustain a marriage."

Hermione was nodding quietly, and Ginny wondered what she was thinking. "Maybe you're right," she said eventually, "but - I don't know what to do. We've had awful fights and now we're just, not talking. He's practically begged me on multiple occasions to tell him what's going on, but I can never get the words out."

"When that happens, who are you thinking about? Who he was, or who he is now?"

Hermione thought about it for a long time. "Who he was. I've been trying to ignore that terrible person for so long, but now I can't stop thinking about him."

"Do you think, on some level, you're not talking to your Malfoy as a way to punish the other one for hurting you so much in school?"

Hermione shrugged and dropped her head into her hands and Ginny pulled her in for a hug. "Have you figured out what you're actually fighting about yet?"

"What?" Hermione's voice was muffled.

"You know, like with me and Harry. There was the stuff we said we were fighting about - similar to the types of things you mentioned before - and then there are the underlying insecurities, which were actually fueling our arguments. And until we brought those out in the open, we weren't able to clear the air."

Hermione was nodding against Ginny's chest. "So what are you two fighting about, really?"

Hermione pulled away and Ginny saw she was chewing her lip, deep in thought. After a while she looked over at Ginny. "Are you waiting for me to actually answer that?"

"No, it was a rhetorical question. But figure that out. That's step one. Then you need to talk to him. It'll be hard, and painful, but once you get past it, you'll feel so much better. Believe me, I've been there."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The Great British Bake-off didn't start airing until 2010. But in my fictional world (that I borrowed from JKR) it aired in 2003 and Theo was a big fan.
> 
> The time jump in this chapter was originally in the middle of Chapter 19.
> 
> Anyway, I know all this is hard to read – believe me, it was really hard to write too. But this is a pretty big fight for them that has been brewing for months, so it's not something they were going to be able to pull themselves out of quickly. However, I can promise these two will finally talk in the next chapter! (frigging finally, right?)
> 
> Thank you all for your amazing support for this fic. Leave a note and let me know what you think. You can find me over on Tumblr (Alexandra-Emerson) for more content related to this story. And of course, thanks as always to my beta reader, Lancashire Witch, and welcome to my new beta reader, kimmehbl4 who has really upped my grammar game. The next chapter will be posted Sun, Dec-27.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

_We spoke once about lovers who kept finding each other, no matter how many times the world came between them. And I think I had to break your heart, and you had to break mine. How else would we know the worth of what we were given?_

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: November 2004 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

The next day, Hermione was running late. She'd overslept since she'd been up for most of the night. She was thinking about Ginny's words from the day before, and trying to figure out what underlying insecurities were behind her and Draco's arguments.

Hermione was about to make a quick cup of tea to go, then swore under her breath when she remembered she was out of tea and had forgotten to pick up more from the store last night. She'd been too distracted after leaving Grimmauld Place. She reached for the canister anyway, thinking maybe there would be enough leaves at the bottom to make a weak cup, which was better than nothing, but she almost dropped the canister when she picked it up and found it was heavy.

She opened it and stared in shock when she saw it was full. Had she done this chore and forgotten it? No, that didn't make sense. It was Draco, obviously, but he didn't like this tea. So how would he have known she needed more? Had he been checking?

She thought of Ginny's words then. _"I've never seen someone so attuned to another person's wellbeing."_

She shook her head and made a quick cup before rushing off to work, but once she got there, she was completely useless. She was supposed to be drafting a new piece of legislation, but all she'd managed to do was make countless dots on the parchment. As she stared at her quill and tapped it against the blank paper, she thought more about Draco.

This was something else he did for her. He always switched out the quill in her bag with a new one on Mondays. He said she wore them out too quickly and that her handwriting became atrocious once the quill got dull, so he always made sure she had a new, fresh one. Now that she thought about it, he'd still done this the whole time they'd been fighting. The one she was holding now was new and she'd barely noticed, since she'd come to expect them to always be there on Monday.

She pushed back from her desk and stood up quickly, then rushed to the main lobby of the Ministry where the fireplaces were. In a few moments, she was stepping out of the Floo into the drawing room of Grimmauld Place.

"Ginny!"

Ginny stepped out of the kitchen and looked worried. "What happened? Is it Harry?"

"No," Hermione said in a rush, "everyone's safe." She wondered if she and her friends would ever stop jumping to the conclusion that someone was dead or injured, at times like this, or if this was just a permanent after effect of surviving a war.

"I came to tell you that Draco loves me."

Ginny's eyes widened in surprise, then she shook her head. "Okay. One second. Let me turn off the stove." She disappeared into the kitchen for a few minutes, then when she reappeared, she'd removed her apron and was drying her hands on her jeans. "Your timing is good since James is asleep. Let's go in here."

She pulled Hermione into the sitting room and they sat in the same spots on the couch they'd occupied the day before. "Hermione," Ginny said when they sat down. "If you're just now realizing your husband loves you, then we need to stop calling you the brightest witch of your age."

Hermione ignored the jibe. "I was thinking all night about what insecurities are underneath all the conflict for me. And there are a lot, but I think the biggest one is that Draco doesn't really love _me_. When I see him from the past, I remember what a big mess he was. He was so lonely and hurting and needed love so badly. And I've been worried that that was why he was with me, deep down. Because I offered him the love he desperately needed.

"I mean, I didn't think he did it consciously and I think he really truly believed he loves me - but, well, I was wrong. He does love me, for me, and not just because I was the person he encountered in this time loop."

"I know all that. I'm glad you're finally realizing it. What convinced you?"

"Tea and fresh quills."

"I don't know what that means."

"It's just the little stuff, like you said yesterday. If he didn't really love me, he wouldn't bother with all that."

Ginny nodded and they were both quiet for a few minutes. Hermione watched the ornaments spinning on the Christmas tree as her mind raced through all the possible next steps.

"Hermione, what are you doing here?" Ginny eventually asked.

"I don't know what to do next." Hermione admitted.

"We discussed this," Ginny placed her hands on Hermione's arms. "Talk. To. Your. Husband."

"I don't know-"

"No. None of that," Ginny cut in. "Come on, Hermione. This is Draco (don't tell him I called him that). What's the worst that's going to happen?"

"We might split up!"

"What?"

"It's like you and Harry, right before you got engaged. You said you were at an impasse and you were either going to get through it and be together forever, or split up. I think Draco and I are at a similar impasse, but - I couldn't bear splitting up."

"So what? You're going to stay at the impasse, barely talking to each other? You can't live like that." Ginny sighed, then she stood up and pulled Hermione to her feet. "You know what you need to do and I'm pretty sure you came over here because you knew I'd push you into it."

Ginny began to push Hermione toward the fireplace. "So, here I am, literally pushing to go home and talk to him."

Hermione stopped when she got to the hearth and turned back to Ginny. "I can't go now. There are a few meetings later today I can't miss. But I can get out by three. Can you meet me here? I need your help setting something up."

"Perfect. I can't wait," Ginny responded with a large smile.

"Oh, and, Hermione. Please try to patch things up before dinner Thursday. Because if I have to pass another evening with Teddy asking me where his cousin is every five minutes, I might lose my mind."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Oh. I didn't realize this was such an inconvenience for you. Now I know that, I'll definitely try to fix it," she said sarcastically before disappearing into the flames.

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

Draco shot a Knockback Jinx at the last doxy in the drapes and sighed before tossing the nasty thing into the bucket. Then he conjured a lid and weighted it down before leaving the room. Potter could deal with getting rid of them for good once he was home.

This whole chore should have been his job, but Ginny had been uncharacteristically hysterical when she'd arrived at his house, demanding Draco come rid one of the spare bedrooms at Grimmauld Place of a few stray doxies. She'd gone on and on about how dangerous doxy bites could be for young children.

First, Draco asked why she couldn't do it herself, and she said something about breastfeeding and how if she was bitten, she would have to take a few weeks off to let the poison get out of her system. Draco didn't question her further on that, but then he'd pointed out that she had a hundred brothers and a husband who could do the task for her and she said they all had jobs.

Then, he'd told her to place an Imperturbable Charm on the door and wait for Potter to come home, but she'd started hyperventilating, saying she didn't want to be in the same house with the nasty creatures. It was all very out of character for her and Draco suspected there was more to this, but he went anyway. At least he'd get to see some new scenery and he could say hi to James, and maybe Ginny would tell Hermione later how nice and thoughtful he'd been.

When he returned to the drawing room, he saw that Ginny had shed all of her previous anxiety. She was lounging on the couch and reading a Quidditch magazine while James played with a pile of pots and pans.

Draco leaned against the wall. "You're doxy-free, so James may just live another day. I left them in a bucket up there for your husband to dispose of when he's home."

"Right, thank you. That was terrifying. The thought of what a doxy bite could do to-"

"Yeah. I know you're lying. What's going on?"

She shrugged and he rolled his eyes, then removed his wand from his robes to apparate home. Before he left, he went to where James was sitting and crouched on the floor. Draco hadn't seen him in weeks and he looked visibly larger. "Hey, little guy, how've you been?"

James gave him a big, gummy smile. It was comforting to see he hadn't forgotten Draco in his absence. "Nice to see you two on speaking terms again." Ginny said behind him.

Draco looked back at her confused. Was she talking about him and Hermione? No, she was motioning toward James.

"What?"

"You didn't seem very interested in him when we came by your house last week."

Draco racked his brain, then he knew what she was talking about. He'd almost forgotten seeing her and James during that time jump years before. She was smirking at him and he wondered if she knew. It was confirmed by her next question.

"How do you keep track of it all?"

Draco sighed. "Potter told you. How long have you known?"

"Actually, he didn't, but we can talk about how I found out later. I have an early Christmas gift for you."

Draco gave James a pat on the shoulder, then stood up and crossed his arms. "More doxies?"

"No. I left it in your bedroom."

Which one, he wondered, and why had she done that? They'd never exchanged gifts before. Had she noticed he wasn't sleeping there? Maybe Hermione had already told her about the fight, and this was just some joke of Ginny's related to that. He narrowed his eyes at her. "What's going on?"

She smirked, "Go find it. You can thank me later."

Draco shook his head, then disapparated and appeared back in his drawing room. He kept his wand out as he walked upstairs, wondering if Ginny's "gift" was going to be some sort of practical joke. Maybe she'd taken Hermione's side of this argument and was trying to punish him, but nothing she could come up with could be worse than what he was already going through.

He paused with his hand on the doorknob. What if Hermione was in there? Would she be angry if he just walked in? It was still his bedroom and he went in there on occasion to get new clothes. He checked his watch. It was early. She should still be at work.

Draco pushed the door open and walked into a breathtaking scene. His eyes immediately filled with tears as he realized what he was looking at. All the walls and ceiling had been turned into the night sky, and all the furniture besides the bed was gone, giving the effect that the bed was floating in the middle of space.

The room appeared to be empty at first glance, then he heard Hermione's voice before he spotted her leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom. "I couldn't get the spell quite right. If you really study the stars, you'll notice the constellations are all wrong."

Draco stood in stunned silence, drinking her in. She was still wearing her work blouse but had changed into pajama pants. He'd always found this clothing combination ridiculous and suppressed a grin, but the most notable thing about her appearance was that she was looking at him full-on. He couldn't remember the last time she'd done that.

He couldn't read her expression very well from this distance, but she seemed to be nervous about something. He kept himself from walking closer since he didn't want to appear too forward. He thought he knew what all this meant but didn't want to give himself false hope. He waited patiently for her to speak again.

"I'm ready to talk," she said as she approached him slowly. "As long as it's not too late."

When she was finally close enough, Draco grabbed her and pulled her tight against his chest. He took a deep breath and savored the familiar scent of her floral shampoo. It had been entirely too long since he'd held her like this.

"Thank you for the tea," she said against his chest and he stepped back and cocked his head. Was she really talking about tea right now?

"I thought I was out, and I meant to go to the store, but you beat me to it." She smiled softly and he nodded along, confused. Was this what she wanted to talk about? His recent trip to the grocery store? He wasn't complaining though. He was just glad she didn't look angry.

"Uh, do you want to lay down and talk?" Draco nodded and followed her to the bed. After they'd both laid down, she looked over at him and seemed nervous again. "I sort of thought we'd both talk, but you haven't said anything since you walked in here."

Draco cleared his throat. "Right, sorry. I just didn't want to say the wrong thing."

She nodded a little sadly then looked up at the stars above them, but he kept his gaze on her. They were quiet for a while, then she turned back to him and whispered. "A sky full of stars and he was staring at her."

Draco smiled. "You've said that one before. Right when we started dating, correct?"

She looked back up at the stars before responding. "It was on our first date. I don't think I've ever told you, but I was uncomfortable by the amount of attention you were giving me that day. I'd never had anyone pay me that much mind before."

She started crying and Draco began to reach for her, but held back as a dark thought flitted across his mind. Maybe this was the end. Somewhere along the way he'd messed it up, and the future, happy memories he'd been clinging to weren't going to work out like he'd thought.

"I'm sorry. I had this whole speech planned but all I can do is cry."

Draco's heart fell. So she'd made her final decision about him and now she was trying to find the words to let him down gently. Later, he'd realize this didn't make sense with what Ginny had said earlier, but he wasn't thinking about Ginny then. His thoughts were entirely consumed by the witch in front of him.

"Can I hold you?" he asked tentatively.

She nodded and scooted to his side, burying her head in his chest. He let her cry for a long time while he stroked her hair and tried to memorize how she felt in his arms. Eventually he asked in an unsteady voice, "Is this goodbye, Hermione?"

She started shaking her head violently and pushed back to look at him before replying sternly, "Absolutely not."

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

Now that it was finally time to talk to Draco about everything that had been on her mind for the past few months, Hermione was hesitating. She took a deep breath and remembered what Ginny had said earlier. She couldn't live at the impasse forever.

She went back to her side of the bed and looked up at the stars, shaking her head when she saw a flaw in the Orion constellation. She could see that Draco was still watching her out of her periphery, but tried to keep her gaze forward, since she thought it would be easier to talk freely without seeing the effect her words were having on him.

"This isn't goodbye. At least, I hope not." She saw him nod out of the corner of her eye, then he grabbed one of her hands and gripped it firmly.

"I know over the past few months a lot of different topics have come up in our arguments. But Ginny said there were probably some base insecurities underneath all that and if we're going to move past the fighting, we need to try to address those."

"Okay," he said softly.

"You've been wonderful and so open with me from the start, so I know your insecurity. You're worried I don't love you unconditionally." She turned to look at him and he was nodding, his eyes sad.

"I've been thinking about that for a long time, and I do love you no matter what." He looked like he was going to protest but she continued, "Really. I think I can learn to love the idiot who comes from the past and yells at me, as long as you'll take the time to explain him to me. But-"

The next words caught in her throat and she paused to take a deep breath. She shifted so she was on her back facing the ceiling again before whispering, "I'm scared you can't love all of me. I know you love the woman you married, but what about the lonely, insecure, bossy girl who's just desperate to fit in? I know you hated her so much, but she's still a part of me."

Draco moved closer to her and turned her head so she was facing him. "Can you explain that further?"

She nodded and took another breath. "You said I was punishing you for your past and were worried I hadn't meant what I said on our honeymoon. But I did, I promise. I have forgiven you for the war, because I truly believe you were in an impossible situation and hated every minute of it. But school - I never forgave you for that."

Draco looked hurt, as she knew he would, but she tried to ignore the pain seeing him like this caused and turned away. She was already in the middle of her explanation, so she may as well finish.

"All the visits from your past self rattled me more than I was expecting because they reminded me how little you used to think of me. I was already worried you were only with me because of the strange circumstances of the time jumping, and because I was the one who offered you an alternative to the lonely life you were living. Then, well, you told me as much yourself, right before I petrified you."

"Hermione-"

"Wait, let me finish. It's very important to me that you like me for me, and not because I was the one you were able to open up to first, or the person who finally made you feel like you were worth something. I love you so much and have been terrified that, maybe, you don't feel the same way and I didn't tell you all that because I was embarrassed. Because sometimes I'm still that pathetic girl you disliked who just wants to belong somewhere, and I was worried when you saw her again you'd turn back into the mean boy who used to hate her."

Hermione stopped talking and felt a few tears fall down her face. She closed her eyes tight to stop from crying and felt Draco wiping them away with his hands. "Can I talk now?"

She nodded with her eyes still closed and felt him lay his head on her chest and take a deep breath.

"Thank you for finally explaining what's been on your mind. I know it's hard for you. I can't apologize enough for how terribly I treated you, but I promise none of those insults were ever about you. And I know you're still that girl from school sometimes, and it doesn't make me love you any less. I love you for you, Hermione. I'm sure of it, and if you'll let me, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to prove it to you."

"You already have."

Draco picked his head up. "I have?"

"It's a rather complicated explanation," she warned.

He smiled. "I wouldn't expect anything less."

She sighed, trying to organize her thoughts. "Okay. So you're clearly a loving, devoted partner, even all our friends agree, but I was able to make excuses for all that."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I told myself you were affectionate toward me, because you're a caring person. And you defied your parents for me because you're incredibly loyal and felt you owed something to the person who finally made you feel worthy of love and acceptance.

"You tolerated my friends because you knew it was a condition of being with me, then turned out to like them in spite of yourself. And you opened up to me because I was the first one to ask, and by then you were so desperate to confide in someone. And everything else, every kiss, every compliment, every endearment was a thank you to me for rescuing you from feeling lonely and unmoored."

Draco looked devastated and she could tell he recognized the words from the letter he'd written himself earlier that year.

"But I was wrong."

"I know," he breathed, and she began rubbing his cheek with her hand.

"I was able to explain away the big stuff, but the small stuff, like putting a new quill in my bag every week, didn't fit."

He looked confused and she smiled back at him. "I imagine if you were just with me for companionship, you wouldn't take the time to figure out exactly how I like my tea and practice until you could make it yourself. Or watch the TV programs I like even though you hate them. Or spend hours correcting my legal briefs for work. You've been showing me, for years, how much you love me, but I was taking it all for granted."

He turned his face and kissed the palm of her hand. "I'm glad all that time spent watching those awful nature documentaries has paid off in some way."

She laughed and his eyes turned serious and bore determinedly into hers before he added, "I do love you more than anything - my family, my magic, even my life - and I'm so glad you're beginning to see that." She nodded slowly and saw him relax a little.

Then he dipped his head so his forehead was resting on her chest. "But what you said before, about not having forgiven me for Hogwarts. How do I fix that?"

She sighed and began running her fingers through his hair. "I have an idea, but it's going to suck."

"What? Anything."

"I think we just need to talk through it all, in excruciating detail. I'll tell you my side of things and you tell me yours. I didn't want to dredge it all up but - ignoring it clearly didn't work."

He lifted his head again and she could read the apprehension on his face, but he nodded in agreement.

"But not now," she said.

"What?"

"It'll be a lot, and sort of painful, so we can do it later, maybe spread out across several days. I want to talk about something else now," she smiled at him.

He smiled back at her, then stacked his fists on top of her chest and rested his chin on them. "Okay. What did you have in mind?"

She trailed her finger along his cheek and when she reached his lips he gave it a small kiss and she smiled widely. It had been too long since she'd touched him this easily. "I want to tell you all the reasons I love you."

His eyes brightened and he moved off her and went back to his side of the bed. She was disappointed until she saw him motioning for her to join him. He pulled her against his chest and positioned them so they were both looking up at the stars. "I can't wait to hear this long list," he said with feigned arrogance and she elbowed him in the side.

"Right, well first," she started, ignoring his exaggerated cry of pain, "when my back itches, you scratch it for me. Especially that part in the middle that you know I can't reach. And I don't even need to ask. You always seem to know."

"This part? Here?" He reached his hand under her and began tickling the middle of her back. She squirmed away from him and he stopped and kissed her neck.

She shook her head. "Okay, and-"

"Wait," he interrupted her. "I want to go next."

"Okay, we can take turns."

"I love you because even though we've been fighting, you've still been pulling out all of my favorite sections of the Prophet and leaving them for me on the counter before going to work. Accompanied with a large cup of coffee kept hot with a warming charm."

"I think that counts as two, the paper and the coffee, so I get two now."

"Fine," he grumbled.

"You're a good friend. Not just to Theo and Daphne and Blaise - who are quite a lot of work," Draco snorted, "but to my friends too, especially Harry and Ginny. You're still rude and sarcastic sometimes, but caring when it counts, and I actually love the juxtaposition."

"And my second one," she continued. "I love how you read Muggle books so you can charm my past self. I know I said I was jealous, and I was and still am a bit, but, I know you're just doing it to make sure you get to where we are now. And I appreciate the dedication."

He tightened his arm around her and kissed her head. "I really do prefer you to her. I promise. Now, let me think...Okay, I'm doing three this time, so we can move this along and get to the make-up sex part of the evening."

"Draco!"

"Shut up and listen. I love how you like to pretend you don't love shagging me, when we both know you really do. I love it when you tell people off - as long as it's not me. I think my favorite is when it's Weasley, followed closely by Blaise. And I love your hair - even though I know I said I hated it for years."

He shifted them so he was looking at her and placed a finger under her chin. "Every time I think of it, it reminds me of that necklace from your parents - lovely storm. Wild and beautiful and terrifying, but completely captivating and irresistible, all at once."

Draco bent to kiss her on the lips, and she was overcome with emotion, because things were finally right again. He was kissing her with as much love as he always had, even after everything, and she could finally see a way out of the dark cave she'd thought they'd be trapped in forever. Tears started streaming down her face.

"What is it?" he pulled back and cupped her face in his hands, his grey eyes filled with concern.

She smiled through her tears. "We're going to be okay."

He rested his forehead against hers and let out a sigh of relief. "Thank Merlin."

* * *

_Present Time: December 2004 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Ginny Potter **

"I'm not dealing with any more fucking doxies," Malfoy started grumbling as soon as he stepped out of the fireplace. When he saw James was in the room he cut off. "Shite. I mean, well, you know. Sorry for swearing. But really, I'm done with doxies."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "I'm sure you've figured out that was just a ruse to get you out of the house."

Malfoy narrowed his eyes at her. "You couldn't think of a less disgusting chore? Doxies are foul."

She shrugged. "I'd been meaning to deal with them for a while; it was a good way to hit two crows with one spell."

Malfoy rolled his eyes. "Whatever. What do you need this time?"

She lifted her wand and summoned a broom from the hall closet, studying Malfoy's face as it flew into her hand, but his expression was unreadable.

"That's a nice broom," he said in a bored tone. "Don't you think, James?" James yelled in response and Malfoy gave him one of his rare, real smiles.

"This is the best broom on the market."

"Hmm," was all Malfoy said.

"It was sent to me anonymously," she continued, and he just shrugged and bent to pick up James.

"Is that so?" he asked as he made funny faces at James.

"Who do you think sent it?" she pressed, running her hands along the perfectly balanced handle.

He walked with James to her side of the room so he could get a closer look at the broom. "An adoring fan?"

She shook her head. "I'm retired. Everyone knows that."

Malfoy shrugged but she saw an unmistakable shadow of a smirk cross his face.

"This is too much, Ferret. Especially for someone who doesn't play professionally anymore."

She expected him to deny it again, but he caught her off guard with a warm smile. "I liked the early Christmas gift you gave me. Why can't I get you one too?"

"That was just payback from when you helped me and Harry."

Malfoy shook his head. "No. I already traded that in to settle a few life debts."

She cocked her head in confusion and he added, "Ask your husband about it." Then he smiled again and she smiled back at him, in spite of herself. "Brace yourself," he said then.

"For what?"

"I'm about to say something alarming."

She put the broom on the table and straightened her spine. "Go on, I'm ready."

He shook his head and gave James an exasperated look. "Okay, Ginerva, here it goes. I care about you, like a sister. Though I know the last thing you need is another brother," he added sardonically.

Ginny rolled her eyes and laughed. He joined her and James yelled again, obviously eager to get in on the joke.

"I care about you too, Ferret, and I'm happy you're in my life. Now you brace yourself."

"For what?"

"I'm about to hug you."

He stepped back in alarm. "No, that's not necessary."

She approached him and grabbed his arms to hold him in place. He looked warily at James, who he was still holding. "Just stand still. It will be over soon."

She wrapped her arms around him and he was completely stiff until she pulled away. "Was that so bad?"

He shrugged. "You Gryffindors and your hugs."

"You Slytherins and your repressed emotions. I don't get you. You're so affectionate with Hermione and the kids, but can barely stand a two second hug. You're a paradox, Ferret."

He grinned at that. "I'm a very complicated and intriguing individual."

She rolled her eyes. "This conversation has really gone off the rails. Let's call it before it gets any worse. Give him here. I need to get him down for a nap." She reached for James and Malfoy tossed him in the air once, smiling when James squealed with delight, before handing him over.

She turned and walked to the stairs but stopped when Malfoy called out to her. "Ginvera."

"Yeah?"

"I'm happy to have you in my life too. Hermione wasn't the only good thing I gained from breaking that time turner."

Ginny felt tears spring into her eyes and turned her head, suddenly embarrassed. "Right. Happy Christmas, Draco." She disappeared into the hall and heard him call out when she'd reached the stairs.

"Happy Christmas, Ginny."

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

Hermione and Draco were laying on the bed, looking up at the stars again. It was a Friday night and the fifth round of what Draco lovingly referred to as their C.O.B.R.A. sessions. Cathartic, Overdue, But Really Awful. They'd spend an hour or two talking in detail about some previous pain or misunderstanding until one, or both of them, became too drained to continue talking. Then they'd cut it off and try to do something light, like watch the telly, read, or even shag (if they were in the mood), before it was time to go to sleep.

They'd covered a lot so far. How Hermione had felt about being called a Mudblood. Why Draco had singled her out in school. Her feelings toward his parents and his feelings toward his parents. Why he hadn't used the Malfoy family ring to propose. Why Draco had lashed out at Hermione during the beginning time jumps, and how they both had felt, on multiple occasions, that they had no choice when it came to the time loop.

Hermione had been putting off today's topic because she was very nervous and a little embarrassed to bring it up. It was at the core of the lingering pain from Draco's bullying days and she knew she couldn't leave it unaddressed.

Draco seemed to sense she was struggling and reached over to grab her hand. He kept his face pointed up at the sky, since he knew it was easier for her to say hard things without him watching her. "It's me, Hermione. You can tell me anything. Whenever you're ready. I haven't fucked up one of these C.O.B.R.A. talks yet, and I don't intend to start tonight."

She took a deep breath. He was right. He'd been perfect, even when she told him she thought his father was one of the evilest people she'd ever met and that she sometimes wished he'd have an accident and die. He hadn't scolded her or even looked at her angrily. He'd just explained that his relationship with Lucius was different and that sometimes he actually missed his father, but that he understood how she felt and thought it fair, given her experiences with Lucius.

"I'm embarrassed about this one, but - well - I guess I'll just say it. I'm worried you don't think I'm attractive." She saw him look over at her out of the corner of her eye, but she kept her gaze up. "I don't believe witches should be valued for their appearance since beauty is fleeting, and it's mostly genetic, so it's not much of an accomplishment to be beautiful. But, well, I'm still a woman, and I want to feel pretty. At least to my husband."

She closed her eyes and pulled her hands up over her face, which was hot. She knew she was blushing, but was glad it was dark so Draco wouldn't be able to tell. She felt him shift in the bed and she opened one eye and looked through a crack in her fingers to see what he was doing. He was propped up on his arm, looking at her. She closed her eyes again and heard him sigh.

"Do you not believe me when I call you beautiful, or lovely, or stunning? Or when I say I find you irresistible?"

"I do, mostly. But then there's this voice at the back of my head - your voice - telling me I'm ugly and repulsive. Or I see your horrified face at the beginning of the time loop when you found out we were married or when our friends joked about us shagging."

"I never thought you were ugly or repulsive. Honestly, I wasn't one to judge, since I never looked at you properly. I already told you I targeted you to annoy Potter, and because I was so irritated that you went against everything Muggleborns were supposed to be. I just said all that because I knew it would hurt you, because you were a teenage girl and every teenage girl wants to feel pretty."

He grabbed her hands from her face and brought them to his lips, but she kept her eyes closed. "And I wasn't repulsed by the thought of you, specifically, at the beginning of the time jumps. I just felt like I was being thrown into something against my will and that's what was so upsetting to me. And the shagging - I was never horrified by that thought. I think I was just surprised everyone was discussing it so openly."

He brought a hand to her face and began rubbing her cheek with the back of his knuckles. "Look at me, Hermione." She cracked an eye open and he smiled. "You are objectively beautiful."

She closed her eyes again. "I'm not as gorgeous as other witches you've been with. Like Daphne or Astoria. But, well, I guess I'm prettier than Pansy, so that's something."

Draco laughed and squeezed her hands. Then she finally opened her eyes again and propped herself up to a sitting position before asking, "You weren't attracted to me before, you can't deny that. And now you say you are. What changed your mind?"

She sat up next to her and pulled her against his chest. "I've actually thought about the answer to this question a lot."

"You have?"

He nodded. "You're right, I didn't find you attractive before we became friends, but I also didn't find you ugly. You were just there. I started thinking you were pretty a few months after we started working together, and I think the biggest reason was because you were smiling at me instead of scowling."

She laughed. "Yes, it was the same for me. I didn't realize you were handsome until you stopped sneering at me."

"Right, but then I started to think you were gorgeous. More so than Astoria, or Daphne, or any other beautiful witch you could find in a magazine."

"Why?"

"Because at any given moment, yours is the face I want to see more than any other." He leaned down and smiled at her. "Those expressive eyes, this nose," he kissed it quickly and she grinned. "This chin," he trailed his fingers along it, "and these lips," he placed a chaste kiss there. "You really are pretty, Hermione, but even if all that went away for some reason, yours is the face that is going to be the most beautiful to me. Always."

She buried her face in his neck. He placed his chin on her head and held her close. "Honestly, Hermione, I struggle a lot with insecurities about my appearance too."

"You do?"

She felt him nod. "I always cared about it too much and would scold myself for acting like a witch. Taking too long to get ready, or checking how I looked every time I caught my reflection in passing. And I was always jealous of you and your friends, since you truly didn't seem to care about any of that."

"Hmm. Do you think that's a byproduct of your upbringing?"

"Yes. I think you know purebloods are shallow and overly focused on appearances. Honestly, I don't know how to stop caring so much, but I am trying. But if I were to have an accident, like Bill Weasley with all those scars on his face, I'd have a problem dealing with that."

"While I do find you very handsome, you know I don't care about that. If you ever did get attacked by a werewolf, or even if you get ugly as you age, I'll still find you attractive."

"Oh, I know you don't care about looks. You dated Weasley," he teased. She tried to escape his grasp but he held her tightly and kissed her neck.

"Anyway, your comment about purebloods," she continued, "I already suspected they were obsessed with looks, but I know for sure now, after spending so much time with Daphne. She can't resist the urge to comment on my appearance, then she does that annoying thing where she lists out everything she hates about her own."

"Does that bother you?"

"Yes, actually. I can spend a whole afternoon with Ginny and never once think about my hair or if I'm wearing the right shoes, but Daphne - well - I do love her, I just wish she talked about all that less."

"You should tell her."

Hermione nodded, considering how she'd go about that without hurting Daphne's feelings, and they both sat quiet for a long time, lost in their own thoughts. Hermione was glad Draco was being open with her and helping unravel what was behind each of his taunts.

It helped her understand him more and she thought it was helping him too. He was now able to think objectively about why he'd been so mean and realize most of it was a result of his own hidden insecurities. It got both of them closer to being able to forgive his past self.

It was a slow process, and she knew they'd be at it for months. They would probably have to circle back to topics they'd already covered. But they were getting there, and she was back to feeling closer to him than ever before.

"We should have done this sooner," he said, and she wondered if he was thinking some of the same things as her.

"I hate to say it, but I think we needed the fighting to force out all the issues. It seemed to have happened just as it was supposed to, like everything else in this loop." She leaned her head against his chest and closed her eyes. She was so tired. Something about these talks always sapped her of energy.

"Hermione?"

She hummed in response.

"You asked me once if it was harder for me to be with you, because I'm constantly reminded of how awful I was. And I said yes, but it was worth it. But I've been thinking. It's more than that. We both have lingering issues, obviously, and if we had ended up with other people, we wouldn't be forced to bring them up and try to get past them."

"You're right," she continued. "I wouldn't have to face all these insecurities and you wouldn't have to learn how to forgive yourself."

"I guess we were the exact person the other one needed," he whispered in her ear. Then he wrapped his arms around her tightly. She smiled; there wasn't anything else to add to that, he'd summed it up perfectly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh yay! A healing chapter, finally. And no time jumps in this one either. I hope you all like how this turned out and I know the fighting was rough, but they needed to go through that to get to a stronger, more open phase of their relationship (at least in my mind). The next chapter will be a big side character chapter since we haven't heard from their friends in a while. When I told my beta reader (Lancashire Witch) that, she said, "Yes- heading back to the other characters sounds good - give these two time for honeymoon number 2!" She's spot on…
> 
> Anyway, come see me on Tumblr (Alexandra-Emerson) for more content related to this story. And let me know what you think, I love your feedback! Thanks for all the support so far. Continued thanks to my beta readers Lancashire Witch and kimmehbl4 for making this story better.
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Tue, Dec-29.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

_I believe there is penance in yearning. There is poverty in giving away too much of your heart. When the desire for another is not returned in equal measure - nothing in the world could compensate for the shortfall. Sometimes the loneliest place to be is in love._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: December 2004 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

When Hermione woke up on Christmas morning, she was disappointed to find herself alone in the bed. She stretched and looked over at Crookshanks, who was watching her from his favorite spot by the window. "Where did he go?"

Crookshanks just looked back out the window, which she knew was his version of a shrug, and she donned her robe and slippers and padded downstairs to find Draco. She discovered him in the kitchen and smiled to herself when she heard him swear loudly.

Hermione crept in behind him and snaked her arms around his waist. "Happy Christmas, Draco."

He jumped, then turned to her and looked annoyed. "What are you doing? Go get back in bed." He gestured toward the hall with the spatula he was holding.

"I think I should stay," she said, eyeing the stove warily, "you look like you need help."

"No. I'm making you breakfast in bed, but it won't work if you're not in bed, so go."

Hermione ignored him and approached the stove, peering into the pan. "How many eggs have you already destroyed?"

"Four," he grumbled.

"Counting these?" She pointed at the two burnt eggs in the pan.

"Six then," he sighed, then put the spatula down and picked his wand up and vanished the burnt eggs.

Hermione gave him another hug. He really was an awful cook. He could manage soup and stews okay, since it was similar to potions, but cooking on the stove like this, he could never figure out the timing. "You know my parents are going to be stuffing us with food all day."

He propped his chin on her head. "Good, because breakfast is just going to be tea and toast. That was all the eggs we had." She laughed and he kissed the top of her head quickly before pushing her back toward the hall. "Now go on. Your breakfast in bed (if you can even call it that anymore) will be delivered shortly."

Ten minutes later, Draco walked into the bedroom with a tray laden with several pieces of slightly burnt toast with a side of jam, a mug of tea for her and coffee for him, a vase with a single rose in it, and a small box with gold wrapping and a red ribbon.

"You know if we had a house elf, we could both enjoy delicious breakfasts in bed daily with perfectly cooked eggs, scones, croissants, muffins, sausage...whatever your heart desires."

Hermione rolled her eyes as she took the proffered tray. "Sometimes I suspect you're pretending to be so bad at cooking just to get me to agree to that."

He smirked, "Is it working?"

"Of course not," she said while she spread some jam on a piece of toast. She took a bite, then smiled at Draco as he sat on the bed next to her. "I'll take this burnt toast over a fancy breakfast prepared by a slave any day." Now Draco rolled his eyes as he bent over and picked up his coffee and took a large gulp.

"Is this my present?" Hermione asked, picking up the box on the tray.

"What gave it away?" he teased.

She ignored him and started shaking it, but it didn't make a noise. Then she picked up her wand from the nightstand and summoned Draco's gifts from their hiding spot in the closet. She placed two neatly wrapped boxes tied together with a silver ribbon on his lap.

"Two gifts? We said one."

"They're related to each other."

"Overachiever," he muttered under his breath.

Hermione nodded absently as she moved the tray to the nightstand. "Can I open mine?"

Draco gave her that smile that said, _"You're so cute."_ She figured she looked just like a kid on Christmas morning, but Draco gave the best gifts and she was excited to see what he'd come up with this year.

As soon as he nodded, she started pulling at the ribbon and a few seconds later she was opening a velvet box to reveal a breathtaking, pear-shaped diamond hanging from a braided gold chain.

"You know I don't like giving you jewelry on special occasions, since it's such an impersonal gift, but there's a story behind this that I think you'll like."

He took the necklace from her and started to fasten it around her neck as he spoke. "The diamond is from the infamous Malfoy family ring."

"It is?" Hermione looked down at the diamond that was as large as one of her fingertips. She couldn't imagine wearing something so massive on her finger and was glad for her more reasonable ring. "I'm sure your ancestors would frown on you destroying a family heirloom."

Draco shrugged, "They'd frown on me marrying Muggleborn too, wouldn't they?" She smiled at that. "Anyway, there's more. See the chain?"

Hermione looked down at the chain and studied it closer. It was made up of tiny strings of gold barely larger than a strand of hair that were woven together to make a larger, sturdier chain. Each piece appeared to be moving and the overall effect was that the chain was glittering. It was gorgeous and was one of the finest pieces of craftsmanship Hermione had ever seen.

"It's beautiful," she whispered.

"I had this idea in mind and the jeweler struggled to make it work at first, and complained incessantly, but it turned out perfectly." She smiled at the thought of Draco arguing with the jeweler, then looked back at the chain and noticed that each strand of gold was a slightly different color.

"You told me it was the small things I did that convinced you I loved you," he continued. "So I wanted to make the necklace up of a lot of little things, woven together to make something strong."

"It's perfect," Hermione said as tears stained her eyes.

"Are you sure? You don't mind wearing it? I'd understand. It's still a family heirloom, in part."

"I'm a Malfoy; I'd like to have something from the family. I mean, you're not all bad."

She kissed him then and he pulled her onto his lap and linked his arms behind her. "I never think you'll be able to top your last gift, and then you always do," she said. "It's not fair how good you are at giving gifts."

He frowned, "Says the person who benefits."

"I only say it's not fair, since you're so difficult to buy things for. You just purchase whatever you want as soon as you think of it. And you're so particular about your things, it's not worth trying to pick something out for you."

He reached for the two boxes he'd placed on the nightstand. "And yet you still managed to find me two gifts."

"It's one gift in two parts," she mumbled.

"Right...can I open them?"

"It," she corrected, "it's one gift." Then she added, "Open the smaller part of the one gift first." She moved off his lap and was suddenly nervous since both of these items were a bit of a risk.

Draco cocked his head in confusion when he opened the first box, then his eyes flashed with recognition. "This is from the Manor," he said as he lifted an elaborate silver key from the box.

Hermione nodded and braced herself for any backlash as she explained, "It opens your father's study."

"What?" He dropped the key and glared at it warily.

"Your parents are out of town for a few weeks, as you know. So you can go by the Manor and search your father's study and see what you can find out about whatever he's been up to." Hermione placed a hand on Draco's leg and rubbed it comfortingly.

"It was a lot to ask you to ignore everything that went on with him. And then he took your job away when you cut off contact...I should have never made you do that. So - while I don't think you should go to him directly, at least not alone, in case he tries to obliviate you again, I think you should start snooping around. Maybe get Harry involved, if you're comfortable, of course."

"How did you get this?" Draco had picked up the key again and was inspecting it.

"I asked your mother."

Hermione had committed to trying to mend things with Narcissa ever since she and Draco made up at the beginning of the month. So far, she'd met her mother in law for tea twice and although the conversation was tense and a bit forced, it was clear both women loved Draco and knew the importance the other witch held in his life. So they were willing to try and forge a civil relationship.

"What did you tell her?" Draco asked, alarmed.

"I didn't have to admit to the time travel or our suspicions about your father. I just told her you needed something in his study and would like the chance to search it privately, if at all possible. She didn't ask any questions and owled me this, a few days later. She asked that you put it back in the top drawer of her vanity, when you're done."

He was looking at her, amazed. "It would never occur to me to just ask for something like this."

Hermione smiled and shrugged, "I learned that from spending so much time with Harry. Sometimes being extremely bold works as well as an elaborate, well thought-out plan."

Draco was studying the key again and she could tell he was thinking hard. Eventually, he looked back at her and his eyes were serious. "I may not use this, but, thank you."

She nodded and leaned in to kiss his cheek. "I understand. I just want you to know you have the option. It's your life and your decision."

"Right," he beamed at her, then took a deep breath and focused on the other box. "Time for this one?"

He opened the box quickly and found a simple black quill inside. He looked back at her, confused.

"So, this is more of a symbolic gift," she started to explain. "You always pack me a fresh quill at the start of my work week, and I think you're going to be needing fresh quills too."

He was still confused. "If you decide to start talking to your father again, he may give you your job back, but if he doesn't, I had another idea for something you could do."

"Okay…" he sounded wary.

"I was looking through your investment books and saw that you would have earned a lot of money over the past months, if you'd been investing more than a few sickles here and there. Your earning rates are higher than the average money manager. And can you think of anyone who could benefit greatly from your investment skills?"

"I really hope you don't say the Weasleys, because I'm not interested in dealing with anyone's personal finances."

Hermione laughed. "No, of course not. That would be a disaster. I'm talking about non-profit organizations. They are famously terrible at managing their reserve funds and don't have the budget to employ expert money managers. But you don't need a large salary and it would also be good for your reputation to help groups like that."

"One problem, Hermione," he started in a soft tone, like he was trying to let her down easy. "No not-for-profit is going to employ a former Death Eater."

"Fair point, and I had thought of that. But you are married to me, and I have excellent relationships with a number of non-profits. And it turns out there are two companies willing to meet with you, if you want," she added quickly at the end. She was nervous how he'd respond to this, since she'd gone behind his back and she didn't want to hurt his pride, but he wasn't yelling yet, so that was good.

"What?" He didn't look angry, just surprised.

"I'm sorry I went behind your back, but it's a Christmas gift, so there's supposed to be an element of surprise. If you don't want to, I understand. I just know how bored you've been and thought-"

"Hermione," he cut her off. "I'm not angry. I love it."

"You do?"

"Yes. It's so thoughtful, both of your gifts. I don't even know what to say."

"It's just one gift with two parts. Both related to the theme of your father being shady and taking your job away."

Draco looked down at the quill and key, which were still in his hands and smiled wickedly. "No," he said as he placed his gifts on the nightstand, "these are two separate gifts. Which means you broke the rules."

Hermione crossed her arms as he crawled to where she was sitting on the bed. "Fine, just get me something else. Maybe some nice earrings to go with the necklace."

Draco stopped in front of her and leaned back on his heels. "Why should you be rewarded for breaking the rules? If anyone should be getting extra gifts, it's me, since I was wronged by this whole Christmas agreement." He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"Ahh, is that so?" she asked sarcastically. "And I'm guessing this gift you have in mind involves me not wearing any clothes?"

Draco pulled her onto his lap and started kissing her neck, then stopped to whisper in her ear, "You really are as bright as everyone says."

"We're going to be late," Hermione argued, but there wasn't a lot of feeling behind her words.

Draco shrugged as he started to untie her robe. "You say that every time, then end up giving in anyway. So, let's just cut the protesting part of this today, in the spirit of Christmas."

"That was a very convoluted argument, but you're lucky I love you and find you absolutely irresistible," she responded with a smirk.

He stopped working on her robe and gave her a breathtaking smile that took over his whole face. He was looking at her in that way that made her feel like they were the only two people in the world and she paused to memorize how he looked: happy, carefree, and completely in love, before lunging herself at him and pinning him to the bed.

* * *

** Theo Nott **

Theo was sitting at the counter and watching Jean whip mashed potatoes as he wondered what it was about Muggles cooking that was so fascinating to him. Maybe it was because it was interesting to see how they managed it without magic.

"They're late," Charles said as he walked into the kitchen and stopped next to the pot of potatoes. He was about to stick a spoon in to get a taste when Jean pushed him away playfully. Then Jean turned to Theo.

"I generally like Draco, but that's something about him I don't care for," she said before turning back to the stove. "Hermione never used to be late, but ever since she married him, they're late all the time. Has he always been like this?"

Theo shrugged. He knew it wasn't prudent to point out that Draco was never late before he met Hermione either and that there was something about the two of them together that led to this perpetual tardiness. Theo knew exactly what that "something" was, since they weren't discrete about it in the slightest, but he knew Hermione's parents wouldn't want to know.

He made a mental note to tell Draco, later, about his restraint in this conversation. Draco was always telling him he was a tactless idiot, but if that were really true, he'd tell Jean that Draco and Hermione were probably late because they were shagging.

Just then, Theo heard the front door open and got to his feet, suddenly nervous about seeing his friends. Would they be annoyed he was here? Yes, probably, but hopefully they wouldn't kick him out.

"Theo! What are you doing here?" Hermione asked as soon as she appeared in the kitchen.

Theo shrugged. "I was invited."

"By who?" Draco asked from behind her.

"Me," Charles chimed in before Theo could respond. "We've become close, Theo and I. We share a passion for watching the finest bakers in Britain battle for the title of star baker each week."

"He's the one you've been watching that show with?" Draco asked.

Theo shrugged again. Charles had been the one to reach out to him. He'd received a letter via owl, shockingly, telling him Charles and Jean had relocated to England and inviting him to watch the newest episode of the Great British Bake-off. Theo didn't have plans, so he'd agreed and found it was nice having a kindly, father-type figure to spend time with every week.

"Wait a minute. Is Theo the one who told you about switching charms?" Hermione asked. "I was racking my brain for days trying to figure that out. Because I don't have any books on the subject here and I couldn't imagine where you'd get your hands on a magical reference book. I guess I didn't think you had access to a magical reference person."

Hermione was at Theo's side then and leaned in to give him a quick hug. "I wish you'd told me you were coming. I would have brought your gift."

Theo scowled at her. "Gift? We agreed not to exchange Christmas gifts."

Draco smirked from his spot behind her. "She's awful at adhering to the rules of gift giving. She fucked it up with me, too," he muttered in a low voice only Theo could hear. "But I've punished her properly."

Theo rolled his eyes. "No need to elaborate."

Although Theo was acting annoyed, he was glad to see Draco and Hermione back to this repulsive, can't-keep-their-hands-off-each-other state. They were so fucking depressed just last month. It had caused their friends to be on edge too, because they all knew if these two couldn't figure things out, there really was no hope for the rest of them.

"So why all the secrecy?" Hermione asked then, looking between Theo and her father. "You could have told us you were meeting."

Charles shrugged, "Lay off the poor boy. Let's go set the table and give your mother a chance to finish in here," he led the way to the dining room and Draco looked at Theo, perplexed.

"'Poor boy?' Fuck. You've really done a number on him, haven't you?"

"Jealous?" Theo quipped and was met with an elbow in the ribs.

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

After lunch, Draco got trapped into a conversation with Jean about melting ice caps. Hermione had told her he liked nature documentaries and Jean wanted to hear his perspective on whether the planet was in danger due to global warming or if the magical community would swoop in and save it. Draco didn't care at all about this topic and unfortunately Hermione had disappeared to the Burrow for an hour to wish her friends a Happy Christmas.

Draco was half-listening as he watched Theo and Charles talking in low voices at the end of the room. That was one good thing about having Theo here. He was spared having to go to the Burrow with Hermione, but now, he was wondering if he wouldn't rather be there. It would be obnoxiously loud, but Teddy would be there, and he was disappointed he'd have to miss his reaction when he saw the dragon figurines Draco had picked out for him.

As Draco watched Theo, he saw that he seemed more upset than normal, which was saying quite a lot. Charles was patting him on the shoulder, then Theo nodded and disappeared outside. What was that about?

Draco took this opportunity to escape his current conversation. "Right, I agree. It is something we may have to band together to solve, one day. But I'm not very connected with the relevant departments at our Ministry. You should ask Hermione when she gets back. I'm just going to check on Theo, if you don't mind."

Jean looked over at where Charles was standing and just seemed to notice then that Theo was gone. She cocked her head at her husband, and he gave her a curt nod, then she shrugged and gave Draco a dismissive wave. He rushed to the back-door Theo had disappeared from before she changed her mind about letting him leave.

Theo was leaning against the back of the house and smoking a Muggle cigarette. He'd picked up this nasty habit during all that time he'd been spending in the Muggle world lately. They smelled awful, but Theo said they relaxed him and since he was a wizard, he didn't have to worry about any health concerns.

"What's wrong?" Draco asked as he leaned against the railing of the porch across from Theo.

"None of your fucking business," Theo responded, but he was smirking. This was simply Draco and Theo's default response to this question. Draco knew if he waited, Theo would eventually continue talking.

"When I originally accepted the invite today, you were both fighting and I didn't know if you'd have made up by now. I didn't want her to have to come alone. Then, when you did make up, I tried to back out of it, but Charles insisted I come."

Draco let out a breath. Usually Theo was annoying and grumpy, but then he'd say something like this that reminded Draco how kind and caring he could be, and he forgave him for his incessant moodiness. "I don't care that you're here, Theo. You were with us last Christmas too, so I guess it's a tradition now. But why didn't you tell us you've been coming here for months?"

Theo shrugged and took another drag of his cigarette. "A part of me was worried you'd ask me to stop coming, and I sort of like it. I can pretend Charles is _my_ father, for a moment, though - well - I know it's a bit pathetic."

Draco nodded. "I get it. My father hates me, so it's nice to have a pleasant father around, even if he's not mine. But what were you two talking about just now? Obviously something upsetting."

Theo was quiet for a long time and Draco didn't think he was going to answer. Then he tossed his cigarette on the ground and vanished it before starting to talk. "Remember last year, I told you I made that deal with myself that I'd tell my mother I was gay, the next time I saw her?" Draco nodded. "Then I rushed off to Australia with you two to avoid her. I told Charles about all that and he said I obviously wasn't ready but should try to get around to it by the end of the year. I told him I would, and, well, that's about a week away and I still haven't."

Draco nodded again, unsure what to say. He knew Theo was dating, but only in the Muggle world. It had originally been Blaise's suggestion, and had turned out to be a good one. Theo had told Hermione he'd been able to practice picking out if a bloke was gay or not and determine the type of guy he liked. He also admitted it wasn't a long-term solution, since he really would prefer to end up with a wizard, but he couldn't date in the Wizarding world until he told his mother.

Theo sighed and dropped his head, then began digging at the ground with the toe of his shoe. "I wanted to ask you if you'd be there. When I tell my mother."

"Me?"

Theo nodded and kept his head down. "You're from an even more traditional family than mine and she's always held you in high regard. But I know it's a lot to ask and-"

"Of course," Draco cut him off and Theo looked up at him, surprised. Was it still surprising to Theo that Draco would agree to help him? That was disappointing. "Though," Draco continued, "I married a Muggleborn, so I imagine she doesn't hold me in as high a regard as she did."

Theo shrugged, "Maybe, but you are still the Malfoy heir, and I don't want to do it alone."

"I'll be there."

Theo let out a big sigh of relief, then took another cigarette out of his pocket. Draco watched him light it, then held his hand out, "Give me one."

Theo shook his head. "Hermione will kill me."

Draco huffed, "That's what cleaning spells are for. Come on."

Theo hesitated, but eventually he pulled another one out of his robes and lit it before handing it to Draco. Draco leaned against the house next to Theo and inhaled the cigarette. It tasted as bad as it smelled, but after a few puffs Draco felt a nice, numbing feeling in his chest. He now understood why Theo found these relaxing.

They stood in silence for a while, each inhaling and exhaling the noxious smoke, then Draco asked, "How did switching charms come up?"

"Baking," Theo responded. "Charles always asks me, while we're watching, how magic could be used to accomplish the task. He likes the insight into our world, and I think it's easier for him to ask me than to ask you two."

"Baking…" Draco repeated as he let out another breath. "Merlin, you really are gay, aren't you?"

Theo pushed him and he nearly fell over before catching himself at the last minute.

* * *

** Daphne Greengrass **

"Knight to G5," Draco said.

Daphne smirked as she spoke her next move, "Bishop captures knight."

"Shite," Draco swore, "I completely missed that. How long have you been planning that one?"

Daphne shrugged and her smirk widened.

"Well give me a minute," Draco grumbled, "I need to regroup here."

"You see that rook, right?" Draco's queen said in a high-pitched voice. "Don't move me over there!"

"Oh, now you have an opinion?" Draco muttered back. "Where were you two moves ago?"

"I never liked that knight. He's shifty," the queen responded.

Draco rolled his eyes. "If you want to win, shut up. I'm trying to focus."

Daphne leaned back in her chair and watched him while he tried to work out his next move. It had been ages since she'd hung out with Draco alone, and she'd missed him. They should get together more often, she decided, since they were the only two of their friends without jobs.

When Draco was finally finished and moved one of his pawns, Daphne asked, "You know who's surprisingly awful at chess?"

He smiled back at her. "I know. She doesn't have the patience for it."

"Well, it's probably petty, but it makes me feel good," Daphne said as she directed a pawn forward. "Hermione's better than me in practically every other way, but at least I can beat her at this. And I'm about to beat you too," she added with a grin.

"We'll see," he responded as he studied the board.

"Though Blaise," Daphne continued, frowning as she said his name, "I've never once beaten him."

Draco's attention shifted away from the chess board. "How are you and Blaise?"

Daphne sighed heavily. "I don't know. I dumped Paul when you and Hermione were in the middle of your devastating fight - which I'm still so sorry for-"

"Again Daphne," Draco cut in, "it had nothing to do with that tea with my mother. Even if you had told me about it in advance, we still would have fought. We just had a lot of shite from the past we needed to slog through. So stop beating yourself up. Self-deprecation doesn't become you. That's Theo's thing."

Daphne studied him. She still wasn't convinced the whole thing couldn't have been avoided, but she shrugged. It wasn't worth dwelling on, since it was clear they'd moved past it. They seemed more in love than before, if that was possible. "Anyway, I haven't told Blaise about Paul yet, but I should. We're just so angry with each other and I don't even know what about anymore."

Draco nodded thoughtfully, then looked back at the board. After a few moments, instead of saying his next chess move, he looked back up at her and asked, "Have you ever tried to forgive him?"

"For what?" Daphne asked, surprised by the odd question.

"For being so awful to you. I know he hasn't asked or anything, but if you can try to find a way to let him off the hook for being such an arse to you in the past, I think everything will be easier for you."

Draco moved another pawn and Daphne didn't hesitate with her next move. Draco was playing right into her trap. That was good, since her mind was completely off chess right now, trying to puzzle through Draco's words.

When she looked over at him, he was ignoring the board and watching her. It looked like he was considering something.

"What is it?" she asked, confused by his sudden seriousness.

"Do you know what Blaise does for the holidays?"

She shrugged. "He goes to Italy to spend time with his extended family."

Draco shook his head.

"What? Yes he does. He's been going since first year."

Draco leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. He was regarding her, as if deciding if he should tell her what was on his mind. She sat up straight and waited patiently for him to decide. Draco sighed and shook his head. "I'm probably going to get hexed by Blaise for telling you this, but that's a lie."

"What?" Why would Blaise lie about something like that?

Draco took a deep breath before continuing. "In first and second years, he did go to Italy. His grandmother practically raised him, and he loved spending time with her and his extended family. But she died a few months before Christmas in our third year." Daphne nodded. She remembered when Blaise's grandmother had died. He'd been devastated and had missed a full week of classes.

"He had plans to go to Italy with his mother that year, to visit his grandmother's grave and continue to carry on her holiday traditions with his aunts and uncles. So he rode the Hogwarts Express back to London with all of us, and was going to take a Portkey to Italy with his mother from there."

Daphne nodded, sensing that the story was about to take a dark turn. "What happened?"

"His mother never showed."

"What?" Tears sprang into Daphne's eyes as she imagined a 13-year-old Blaise alone on the platform at King's Cross station, waiting in vain for his mother to appear.

"She was distracted by her newest husband," Draco explained, sourly. "I guess after waiting for an hour or so, Blaise made his way back to their flat. She was gone and hadn't even left a note. He stayed there alone for Christmas and New Year's, then went back to Hogwarts with all of us and never mentioned it to anyone."

Daphne was horrified. What a sad story, and how had she never known? "That was in third year. What about the other years? Did he not go to Italy then?"

Draco shook his head. "He hasn't been back since. Maybe the pain of going without his grandmother was too much. And I always assumed he just lied to us because he was embarrassed to say he was spending the holidays alone."

"When did you find all this out?"

"Theo found out first, in fifth year. He suspected something was wrong and went to check on Blaise and found him alone in the flat, surrounded by alcohol and potions. He refused to go home with him to Nott Manor, so Theo stayed there instead. He told his parents he was going to join Blaise in Italy and you know them, they didn't care or check on the story."

"And his mother? She never tried to make it up to him?"

Draco shrugged. "I don't know. I always assumed Blaise turned her flat into a pub every year in an effort to get her attention, but I don't think she ever found out. Maybe she assumed he stayed on at Hogwarts."

Daphne shook her head as she realized that Blaise was probably in his flat, right now, and not in Italy like she'd thought.

"Anyway, he hates the holidays and refuses to celebrate them," Draco continued. "Theo brought me over to Blaise's flat, the first year after the war, when I was really depressed. Blaise just drinks, mostly. He doesn't even go out for slags because he hates how all the pubs are decorated and he would prefer to ignore the holidays altogether."

"I had no idea. I thought he was in Italy all this time."

Just then one of Daphne's pieces interrupted them. "Are you going to make a move, or what?" She rolled her eyes and moved one of her rooks absentmindedly.

Draco focused back on the game. "Anyway, he doesn't want pity, but -" he sighed and looked up at Daphne with a sad expression. "Everyone has a past, and if you really love him, I thought you'd want to know his."

Daphne had no idea what to say to that, and she didn't really know if this changed her mind about Blaise. She'd take time to think about it later, though, when she was alone.

Draco looked back at the board and tapped his fingertips together as he contemplated his next move. He looked so much older to her then and she shook her head and smiled as she remembered how he'd been just a few years before. Unsure of himself, scared, and angry.

When she used to talk to Draco, they mostly made fun of other people, but look at them now. They were having a mature conversation about love and forgiveness. He was more intuitive and introspective, and the instinct to tell her about Blaise...he never would have done that before. This change in him had been gradual, but there was no denying that the man sitting in front of her now was an entirely different person than the boy she'd known from school.

"You've grown up, Draco," she said after he moved a knight closer to her king.

"You're just now realizing that?" He paused to give her one of his rare, real smiles, then he changed the subject. "That's probably enough serious talk for today. Tell me something light. I don't know - any recent fashion advances I should know about? Maybe a different cut of robes that will be all the rage in 2005?"

Her heart fell at that comment and she was reminded of her most recent conversation with Hermione. "Draco?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think I'm shallow?"

Draco hitched his breath and muttered, "So much for light conversation…"

Daphne waited patiently for his response, studying his eyes, which were trained on the floor now. "Yes," he said after a while, then he finally looked up at her and added in a rush, "but so am I. We were raised to think the only interesting things about us were our vaults, our bloodlines, and our looks. I'm guessing you're asking me because Hermione talked to you, but I know she wasn't meaning to make you feel bad. She just wants to have a deeper relationship with you that goes beyond constantly talking about your appearances."

Daphne looked away from his penetrating stare and pretended to be studying the chess board. She wasn't surprised Hermione had talked to Draco about this. They seemed to tell each other everything.

It had been alarming when Hermione had brought up the subject the last time they'd met. Daphne knew when Hermione asked her to stop commenting on looks so much, she'd been trying to address her own insecurities, but it had still made Daphne feel terrible. She didn't know if she'd ever live up to Hermione's high standards.

Draco seemed to sense her thoughts. "She really didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I promise. She struggles with her own insecurities and she only mentioned it because she's so comfortable with you."

Daphne nodded and focused on her hands in her lap. "I understand. And I never meant to make her feel bad. But the thought of not thinking about all that anymore…" She trailed off. "Everyone always tells me how beautiful I am. I'm not sure I have much more to offer besides that," she added in a small voice.

"Look at me."

She took a deep breath, then looked back into Draco's grey eyes. "You are gorgeous, Daphne, there's no question. But, it's not even in the top five things I like best about you," he said matter-of-factly, and she laughed.

"It's not? Where do my looks rank on this list then?"

He began stroking his chin with hand, like he was considering the question very seriously. "Seven."

"Oh, so still in the top ten?"

He gave her a wicked grin, "That's only because you don't have very many good qualities after six."

She kicked him under the table, but he'd shifted his legs, anticipating the move. Then he gave her a devilish grin before moving his queen, "Check."

Daphne grinned back before saying, "Rook captures queen."

"That was a trap! Didn't you see that?" his queen squealed as she was dragged off the board by one of Daphne's pieces.

"Shite, when did you get so good?"

She just shook her head and smiled back at him. He was a good friend, and she was glad to see him finally looking happy again. "Another round? You can tell me where 'superior chess skills' ranks on this list of yours."

* * *

** Blaise Zabini **

Daphne knocked on the door again and Blaise stood on the other side, wondering if he should open it. He was supposed to be in Italy, but she seemed to know he was in here. Why was she here? Had Theo sent her over? That bastard.

She knocked again and Blaise finally gave in and opened the door, curiosity finally getting the better of him. Daphne stepped back and crossed her arms. He saw she was carrying a large bag.

"Oh good. You're back from your trip," she said in a tone that made it clear she knew he'd never gone on a trip.

Blaise stepped into the hall and closed the door behind him. "What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?" she nodded toward the closed door.

"Why?"

Daphne sighed, then put her bag on the ground. She pulled out a glass container with an identifiable brown substance in it and a bottle of sparkling wine. "I thought we could welcome in the new year with a few Italian traditions. These are lentils, which apparently you're supposed to eat for luck or health or something like that. And Prosecco," she lifted the bottle in her hand. "It's not Champagne, which you know is my favorite, but I'm willing to make a concession tonight."

Blaise pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. "Fucking hell. Theo told you," he groaned. Blaise was going to kill that idiot the second he saw him again. His mind was racing through possible hexes when Daphne touched him, and he started in alarm.

He dropped his hand from his face and looked back at her angrily. Blaise saw that her eyes were filled with pity while she stroked his shoulder. He stepped out of her grasp and gave her the harshest glare he could muster, but she just put her hands on her hips. "Theo didn't tell me, so don't go hexing him or anything. You know he has that dinner with his mother to deal with and he doesn't need you making it worse."

"I know. He was over here a few hours ago telling me about it." If Theo hadn't told her, then it must have been Draco. The prick.

"Oh, so you know how it went?" Daphne seemed to have forgotten Blaise was incredibly angry with her, but he hadn't forgotten. He stayed quiet and glared at her.

She glared back at him and crossed her arms. "I'm not leaving. Even if you disappear back inside, I'm just going to stay here in the hall."

"I don't celebrate the holidays and I don't want your pity," he spat back at her.

"Well it's too bad because you have it. I feel sorry for you, Blaise, because an awful thing happened to you. But that's not why I'm here."

"Why are you here then?"

"I'm here because you're my friend and I want to spend time with you and, just because your mother is a terrible person, doesn't mean you shouldn't ever enjoy holidays for the rest of your life. So, let's ease you back into this," she motioned toward the lentils and Prosecco she'd placed on the floor. "Eat these gross lentils and drink some cheap sparkling wine with me. That's all I'm asking. I wouldn't call that very much of a celebration. I'm not even in a party dress."

Blaise regarded her for a long time, then he sighed and opened the door before bending to pick up her things. "Fine, but if you count down, I'll silence you."

"Deal. Will you tell me about Theo now?" she asked as she followed him into his flat.

Blaise rolled his eyes and placed her lentils and wine in the kitchen before turning back to face her. "There's not much to tell. His mother seemed to mostly be in denial about it all. She said she didn't really care who he married, as long as he managed to produce a pureblood heir. Then, she spent the rest of the time berating Draco for sullying his bloodline."

Daphne's face was twisted into a sneer. She leaned over and opened the bottle of Prosecco with her wand, then she summoned a few glasses and filled them up. "Well, at least I can brush off that list of gay wizards I made for him at the beginning of the year. Then he can try to find a proper boyfriend and stop casually dating Muggles."

"There's nothing wrong with casual dating," Blaise said challengingly as Daphne handed him his glass of wine. She narrowed her eyes at him but didn't say anything else.

* * *

An hour later, they were playing chess when Daphne said out of nowhere, "I broke up with Paul."

"I know," Blaise replied without looking up from the board.

"Oh," was all she said, and she sounded disappointed, but he didn't meet her gaze to see if it was written on her face. He'd had Paul followed, just to see if there was anything off with him, and that's when he'd found out they'd already broken up. Though he wasn't about to admit that to Daphne.

"I read about the lentils in a book. Is that a real tradition in Italy, or just something the author made up?" Blaise dropped his head in his hands and took a deep breath.

"I don't want to talk about it, Daphne."

He felt her place a comforting hand on his arm and this time he didn't move away. "I understand. But if you change your mind, let me know. And if you ever decide you want to go back there and you want some company, I'd like to go."

He looked up at her, surprised by the offer, "What? Why?"

She shrugged. "I'd like to meet your family and see if all of them are as unpleasant as you are," she stopped to smirk at him. "And there were a lot of other random Italian traditions I read about that I'd like to see in person. Like fireworks. Why don't we do that here? And how everyone wears red underwear leading up to New Year's Eve. How garish."

Blaise looked down at her hand, which was still on his arm, and frowned. Then he pulled away and pushed back from the table. "I'm not Draco."

"What?"

"I think you want some version of what happened with him and Hermione. The lovely witch comes and reforms the previously dark and broody wizard into a devoted, hopeless romantic. That's not going to happen with us."

Blaise expected Daphne to look hurt, or even angry, but she just looked back at him amused. Then she rolled her eyes. "Well I know that. Not only are you not Draco, but I am certainly not Hermione. And all that business with him being her former tormenter and the whole world being against them. That sounds awful. And, well, more than anything - those two are nice. Even before Draco was reformed, he was nice, deep down. You and I are _not_ nice. Which I like. It makes us more interesting."

Blaise had no idea how to respond to that, but before he got a chance to, she continued, "But all that is beside the point anyway, because I didn't come here to proposition you or anything. I propose we give up any hope of a romantic future here. I think it's clear that that is certainly not going to work out. Let's just be friends, but with no sex this time."

She held her hand out over the chess board and he looked at it for a long time before finally shaking it with a curt nod, trying to determine if he was disappointed or relieved. Daphne smiled, then finished off her glass before turning her attention back to the chess game.

* * *

After their truce (and several glasses of Prosecco), they were able to talk easily for the rest of the night and found they had a lot to catch up on. When Daphne finally got up and started packing her bag, Blaise was surprised to find it was already 2:00am. He'd never imagined he'd start the new year off with Daphne. Now that she was leaving, he didn't want her to go, but he also had no idea how to tell her that, so all he said was, "Stay."

She turned back to him and studied him for a few moments. "Okay, but no sex. I meant what I said before."

Blaise rolled his eyes, though in all honesty, he was disappointed.

She disappeared into the spare bedroom. When she returned, he saw she'd transfigured her dress into a modest nightgown, and she was no longer wearing makeup. He took a few moments to analyze her altered appearance.

"What?" she asked when she noticed his attention.

"I've never seen you without makeup."

She blushed and turned away from him, then took a seat on the couch opposite him. When she looked back, he could tell she was nervous. "I'm trying to be less shallow. And allowing others to see me _au naturale_ is part of that." She lifted her chin up. "So, what's the verdict?"

He could tell she was trying to act flippant, but that his opinion was important to her. "You never needed the make-up," he said honestly.

Daphne shot him a dazzling smile, further proving his statement. "Maybe there's some niceness in you, after all."

Then she pulled her knees up to her chest and propped her head on them as she looked out at the London skyline. "This flat is gorgeous," she muttered, then she looked over at him with a curious expression. "How did you afford this place?"

Blaise shrugged. "Draco gave me a good price."

She cocked her eyebrow and he knew what she was thinking. It was a running joke between them that Draco didn't know the proper cost of things. It was ironic since he was a money manager, but he argued that he dealt on the scale of companies and governments, not potions ingredients and robes. He paid for everything by charging it to his account and never checked prices.

When it came time for Draco and Hermione to move out of this place, Blaise had offered to buy it. He desperately wanted to get away from his mother. He had always admired Draco's flat, but knew he couldn't afford to purchase it out right. Draco had just told him to transfer whatever the fair price was to his vault and hadn't asked Blaise more about it. So Blaise had transferred everything he could afford - which was half what the place was worth - and was slowly paying Draco back for the remaining half.

He wasn't about to admit any of that to Daphne. That was too embarrassing. He also felt bad about taking advantage of Draco, even though he knew Draco had so much money he probably hadn't even noticed.

Daphne had turned back to the window and Blaise saw a few snowflakes start to fall from the sky. He knew how much Daphne loved the snow and was glad she was here now, able to enjoy it from this beautiful vantage point.

"I love snow. What a beautiful start to the new year," she said in a wistful tone. Blaise secretly agreed as he watched her watch the snowfall.

"Daphne?" he asked after a few moments.

"Hmm?" She kept her eyes trained outside.

"Will there ever be anything I can do to get rid of you?"

She was quiet for a long time and he wondered if she was going to ignore him. Then she looked back over at him and was wearing that wicked smirk he loved on her. "No. So stop trying."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I intended to make this a side character chapter, but I couldn't resist a cute Hermione/Draco scene at the beginning. So now it's just really long, though I'm guessing you all don't mind. I hope you enjoyed this lighter chapter after a series of heavy ones. And again, no time jumping. But don't worry, the jumps are about to ramp up again.
> 
> Thanks as always to my beta readers Lancashire Witch and kimmehbl4!
> 
> Come see me on Tumblr (Alexandra-Emerson) for more content related to this story. And please let me know what you think!
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Thurs, Dec-31.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

_I wish I could have a day with you, where the sun never went past noon. Or a night, where the stars could go on forming their constellations; until the sky was filled with stories of how I loved you._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: January 2005 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

Draco laughed to himself when he saw the _Hermione Malfoy_ hand on the family clock in his father's study. He was pleased the house recognized her as a part of the family, even given her blood status. He was also amused that it didn't accept her stupid, hyphenated name. He wondered how his father felt having to look at her name on this clock, every day.

Right now, Hermione's hand was at the _Social Engagement_ spot and his parents' hands were still at _Traveling._ He looked at his own hand at the _Malfoy Manor_ end of the clock and sighed. He did love this house and wished he could come here more frequently, but that wasn't a good idea with his father attempting to obliviate him every time he got Draco alone.

Draco turned away from the clock and sat at his father's desk. It still smelled a little like him, that mixture of fresh ink, bergamot, and pipe smoke that was unmistakably Lucius. He ignored the pang in his chest and started to open the top drawer, but his hand paused on the knob.

Even though he was no longer a boy, a part of him was hesitant to rummage through his father's things without permission. He reminded himself why he was here, then shook his head and opened the drawer. He was interrupted by Potter just a few moments later.

"Have you found anything yet?"

Draco sighed. Potter and his friends talked too much. "Assume no, unless told otherwise."

"You're grumpy today..." Potter muttered as he turned back toward the bookshelf he was inspecting.

Of course Draco was grumpy. He was currently rifling through his father's study like a common thief. Who had to spy on their own parents like this?

"Check to see which of those books he's read most recently," Draco called to Potter.

"I was already planning on it," Potter grumbled, and Draco saw a blue string emerge from the tip of his wand and begin to crawl along the spines of the books like a worm. Potter looked back at Draco and cocked his eyebrow before saying flippantly, "I don't need your help doing my job."

Draco rolled his eyes. "Why did I agree to bring you?"

Potter shrugged and turned back to watch the blue string's progress. "Because I'm a very talented Auror?"

"No."

"Because I defeated the Dark Lord, so Lucius Malfoy is hardly a match for me?"

Draco looked over at him and saw he was smirking. "No," Draco said firmly. He'd learned in the past few years that Potter was actually one of the humblest people he'd ever met. He never bragged about anything in front of his other friends and reserved this mock arrogance for Draco alone.

"Oh, right, I know why. Because Hermione told you to."

Draco didn't respond and went back to the desk. He'd found a well-worn scroll with a few pages that were heavily marked with his father's thin scrawl. "That's what I thought," Potter muttered to himself.

"She doesn't control me," Draco said defensively as he skimmed the scroll.

"Oh no. I get it, really. Ginny doesn't control me either, but it doesn't stop me from choosing the path of least resistance, whenever I can." Draco smiled to himself at the accuracy of that statement, and when he looked back at Potter, he saw the spell had finished and three books were glowing blue.

"Which ones was he reading?" Draco asked.

"These are all books on time travel. No surprise there." Draco was about to tell him to make copies, then saw Potter was already working on it, so he focused back on the scroll in front of him.

It contained ancient Malfoy family laws and Draco couldn't imagine what his father would need with these until he saw the last passage. "Fuck."

"What?" Potter was at Draco's side in two paces with his wand drawn.

"Easy, Potter. No one's attacking us. It's just this scroll my father was working on. It says here only purebloods can inherit the Malfoy Estate. So no children of mine and Hermione's will be considered legitimate heirs."

"Oh. I mean, that's not entirely surprising, is it?"

"No, I expected something like this from my ancestors, but my father...I don't know. It's just disappointing that he was working on this." It wasn't worth trying to explain the mix of emotions Draco felt toward his father. He barely understood them himself.

Potter went to inspect the other end of the room while Draco looked through the rest of the desk. Besides the laws, there wasn't much else of interest. He made a copy of the scroll before putting it back in the drawer, then he turned to find Potter trying to open his father's safe. He smirked and watched him struggle for a few minutes before going to his side.

"Having trouble there, Chosen One?"

Potter ignored the jibe and tried another spell.

"Nothing you do will work," Draco explained.

"Do you know how to open it?"

Draco nodded and Potter stepped out of the way. Draco used his wand to make a small incision on the palm of his hand, then he held it to the door of the safe and felt it click open underneath his touch.

"Blood magic? How arcane," Potter mumbled.

"Yeah. We're in Malfoy Manor, in case you'd forgotten," Draco said absently as he carefully opened the door of the safe. He jumped back when he saw the contents and berated himself for being surprised. His father _had_ told him this was in here.

Potter approached and hitched his breath when he saw what Draco had spotted. "Oh shite, is that…?"

"Yeah." Draco eyed the shard of glass warily and took another few steps back.

"Can you feel it?"

Draco stopped moving and took a few deep breaths, trying to focus on the feeling of the blood flowing through his veins. Did the pieces of the time turner in his bloodstream sense the presence of this piece? This was the shard that anchored him and always brought him back to his time. Hermione had said the time turner had incredibly powerful protection charms, and he thought maybe the pieces in his blood were tingling - though it was probably just his imagination. "I don't know," he said eventually. "Just close it."

Potter hesitated with his hand on the safe. "Do you want to take it?"

"No," Draco said quickly. His first thought when he'd seen it was to destroy it so the time loop could never be undone. He could stop carrying the neutralizing potion around, and he wouldn't have to worry about losing this incredible life he'd made with Hermione, but something made him hold back.

First off, destroying this would be catastrophic, since this was the reason he kept coming back to his own time whenever he jumped away. Secondly, the time jumps ended in 2006, and maybe this was needed to end it and if he destroyed it now…

"I think it's best to leave it alone for now. It's safe here," Draco said, and Potter nodded and shut the safe. Draco noticed his hand was still bleeding and healed the cut and wiped the blood on his robes. "Let's go. I've made copies of the papers in my father's desk, and I see you made copies of the books he was reading. That's probably as good as we're going to get today."

* * *

** Harry Potter **

After their trip to Malfoy Manor, they returned to Grimmauld Place for lunch, but Malfoy was distracted. Harry wondered if he was thinking about his father and if he missed him. He used to be such a devoted son, and now he didn't even talk to Lucius. It was sad, even though Lucius was clearly up to something. The most reasonable thing for Malfoy to do was stay away until they figured out what it was.

Harry had been itching to investigate the wizard ever since the wedding. He had left him alone to respect Hermione and Malfoy's wishes, but now, he was glad he could start contacting some of his informants. He wanted to find out if Lucius was doing anything illegal - besides obliviating people without permission.

Now, Harry and Malfoy were outside, watching James zoom around on a toy broom he'd gotten for Christmas. Every time Harry watched James hover around on this broom, he always remembered that photo of him doing the same that his mother had sent to Sirius right before her death.

Sometimes, that memory made him smile as he thought how glad his parents and Sirius would be to see what a happy life he'd made for himself. Other times, like now, it brought tears to his eyes. He took a few deep, steadying breaths, since he didn't want to cry in front of Malfoy. Though he knew Malfoy well enough now to know he wouldn't make a big deal of it.

"You'll be able to tell him he flew before he walked," Malfoy's voice cut into his thoughts.

Harry smiled at that. "I'm glad he's a natural. If he didn't like Quidditch, he wouldn't be welcome in this family."

Malfoy snorted. "What position are you thinking for him? Seeker or chaser, like one of his parents? Or something completely off the wall, like a beater?"

Harry shrugged. "He's welcome to whichever position he wants. My job will just be to make sure he has the best broom." Malfoy laughed at that. "Honestly though," Harry continued, "he can skip out on Quidditch and join the gobstones club if he wants. I just want him to be happy, and safe. I think my job as a parent is to let him be who he's going to be, and love him regardless."

"You could teach a parenting class for purebloods," Malfoy muttered darkly as he continued to watch James.

"Do you think you'll be one?" Harry asked.

"A Quidditch player? I played for my house team - seeker. But I don't play much anymore," Malfoy drawled, and Harry could tell he was purposefully avoiding his gaze now.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Merlin, you are so annoying. I have no idea why I keep inviting you over."

"We both know it's for Hermione," Malfoy responded.

"Actually, there's more to it," Harry said, suddenly recalling his conversation with future Malfoy at the top of the Astronomy Tower ages ago.

"What?" Malfoy finally looked back at Harry.

"This is one of those time loop things with no beginning or end, I think. When I tell you something now, so you can tell me in the past, and then we both wonder who came up with it first."

"Right. I'm familiar with the concept," Malfoy said bitterly.

"Anyway, I met a future version of you, when you and Hermione first told me about all this. He told me that I said to you once (which I'm guessing is right now) that sometimes I preferred you to my other friends because you, like me, are still fucked up from the war."

Malfoy laughed out loud and Harry couldn't help but join in. When they finally stopped, Malfoy's face turned serious and he asked, "Is it true? Or are you just saying it because I told you this in the past?"

He turned away from Harry then and looked back over at James, but Harry had caught something in his eye before he looked away. Something that made Harry think his answer to this question was important to Malfoy. More important than his bored tone implied.

"It's true," Harry said. "I would have said it, even if you hadn't told me first."

"Maybe," Malfoy sighed. "Or maybe you just think that because the idea has been on your mind for years. You never know with this fun time loop," he added sourly.

"You don't sound like you're finding it fun."

When Malfoy turned back to Harry, he looked incredibly tired all of a sudden. "It was necessary to get to Hermione. But…" he cut off and dropped his head in his hands. "I know what you were asking me earlier, about being a parent. I want that, but I can never do it with this time jumping. I couldn't do that to Hermione."

Harry didn't know what to say to that. Malfoy was right, and Harry was reminded, for the thousandth time, how complicated this whole time travel mess was for the two of them. "Doesn't it all end in 2006?" Harry asked hopefully.

Draco nodded, but didn't seem comforted by the thought.

"James, it's naptime." Ginny had appeared in the doorway and Harry saw Malfoy was looking behind her, probably trying to find his wife.

"Where's Hermione?" he asked.

"Oh, she said she had to stop by the grocery store and she'd meet you at home," Ginny turned back to James, who was currently drifting away from the adults to the other end of the yard. "I mean it, James. Come here."

Ginny pulled her wand out of her pocket and summoned James' broom. He pouted as he realized that he was slowly floating toward his mother. Harry could see a tantrum coming on and crossed the yard in a few paces and lifted James off the broom, then threw him in the air. "Let's get you to bed, little Quidditch star."

"No!"

"No? Well, it wasn't a question. You heard your mum."

"Dwaco nap," James was reaching over for Malfoy and Harry rolled his eyes. James was just grasping at straws now.

"He needs to go home, James," Ginny said with her hands on her hips. "Come along."

"I've got it," Malfoy stood up and grabbed James from Harry. As he walked back into the house, Harry heard him talking to James about Quidditch positions. He shook his head and when he looked at Ginny, she was exasperated. He just shrugged and took a seat on the steps in the spot Malfoy had recently occupied.

Harry sat down next to her. "I'm glad they're back together," Ginny sighed as she leaned against Harry. "And not just because of the help with the kids."

"I know what you mean," Harry responded. "It's good to see both of them back to their normal selves. I'm glad you pushed Hermione to finally talk to him."

"Oh right. That reminds me," Ginny sat up and turned to face Harry. "When I cornered Malfoy about that broom he gave me, and I told him he didn't have to get me a gift, because of how he helped us early on, he told me he'd already used his relationship advice to clear a few life debts he owed you."

Harry laughed and shook his head. "Yes, I did clear those for him. Just before we were married."

"Harry!" She slapped his shoulder playfully. "Life debts are incredibly valuable. And you released his for some relationship advice?"

Harry leaned in and kissed her on the nose. "Not just any relationship advice, but the kind that got me the most incredible witch I could imagine. Plus - I'm sure I'll save his life again soon. Just give it time."

He moved his hand behind her head and pulled her in for a real kiss, but they were interrupted by Malfoy. "I don't want to see you snog," he was leaning against the open doorway with his arms crossed.

"Then leave," Ginny said with a smirk before turning back to Harry.

"I'm about to. I just wanted to tell you I'm time jumping tomorrow. I don't remember anything too bad, but I'd still appreciate it if you could check on her."

"No problem. We'll be seeing her tomorrow at the Burrow anyway. We'll take care of her," Ginny assured him.

"Oh, right. I remember that was the day I met Weasley's baby. Okay, wait until after I leave for this," he motioned toward them and pulled his face into a look of mock disgust. "I don't want to be in the same house when the snogging restarts."

"Says the man who openly gropes Hermione any chance he gets," Ginny grumbled after he slammed the door. "But I do feel bad for them," she said in an undertone to Harry.

"I know. They already have enough obstacles without the time travel. And it seems like all of that has been bothering him more than usual lately."

Harry saw Ginny shiver and he wrapped an arm around her and cast a quick warming charm. "Why don't they just end it?" she asked. "You guys said you saw where the last piece of the time turner was and-"

"No!" Harry cut in forcefully and Ginny leaned back, alarmed.

"What?"

Harry sighed and pulled her back against his chest. "Has Hermione not told you about the whole alternate reality concept?"

She shook her head, "She mentioned something like that, but didn't take the time to properly explain. You know her."

"Yes, they're used to it all by now, I think they forget how incredibly complicated it all is to an outsider. Well, I can try to explain. So, consider Hermione for a second. She originally got together with Malfoy because he approached her with this time travel conundrum, and she offered to help. And the reason she did that was because she'd become friends with future Malfoy, her husband."

"Right, that makes sense."

"Well, if Malfoy stops the time jumps now, some of those meetings past Hermione had with him wouldn't happen. Then, when Malfoy approaches her, she may not decide to help him, and they may never get together. And that's just Hermione's side of things. I assume the reason Malfoy went to Hermione in the first place was because of things he saw in his future with her. So, if they stop the time jumps now, it's very possible they'll never end up together."

"What would happen?"

"They think they'll just be in alternate realities. An entirely different world where they were never together. Malfoy would probably be married to some pureblood, like Astoria Greengrass, and maybe Hermione and Ron would still be together."

Harry felt Ginny stiffen in his grasp and he tightened his grip on her. "What is it?" he asked.

"If Malfoy never got together with Hermione, and never became friends with you, then he never would have given you the reassurance you needed that our future would turn out…"

"I know," Harry kissed her temple and sighed heavily. He tried his best not to think about this too much. Could he have figured things out with Ginny without Malfoy's help? He honestly didn't know.

Harry stood up and offered her his hand. "Come on. Let's go inside."

She grabbed James' broom, then took Harry's hand and followed him back into the house. "It's not just them who are affected by this time loop. I hadn't even realized..." her voice trailed off and Harry could tell she was thinking through all the different possible futures.

"Hey, come on," he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You'll make yourself mad thinking about what could have been. We're happy now, and they're not breaking the time loop. They're more motivated to keep it intact than we are, okay?"

She smiled and nodded, then changed the subject and started telling him about a recent visit to Shell Cottage as she cleaned the kitchen. Harry nodded absently as she talked, but his mind was elsewhere.

He was thinking about Lucius now. He knew something about all of this and maybe would be the key to stopping Malfoy's time travel in 2006. Harry was just worried Lucius would try to end it early, and as Ginny said, that wouldn't just affect Malfoy and Hermione. Harry wouldn't let that happen and he couldn't wait to get into the office on Monday and start working on this new case.

* * *

_Present Time: February 2003 / Draco's Time: January 2005_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

Draco appeared in his and Hermione's old flat for the next time jump and started searching the rooms for her before he remembered they didn't live together yet in this time. That was still a few months off, but based on the things of hers he saw in his bedroom and bathroom, she spent a lot of time here. He smiled to himself. This had been a fun time in their relationship, when everything had still felt novel and exciting.

He was about to go straight to her flat but stopped himself and Floo-called her instead. He remembered she'd been very dedicated to trying to maintain her relationships with her friends and didn't want to be one of those witches who spent every waking moment with her boyfriend. Ginny was in the flat with her and they were both sitting on the ground surrounded by what looked like wedding invitations.

"Oh, Draco!" Hermione started when she saw his head in the flames.

"Hey, uh, can I talk to you for a moment? Alone," he added when he saw Ginny eyeing him curiously.

Hermione looked annoyed. Draco figured she couldn't see he was from a different time through the flames, but she got up anyway. He saw her apparate, then heard the unmistakable crack behind him a few seconds later, signaling her arrival in his flat. He pulled his head out of the fireplace and stood to meet her.

Her look of irritation disappeared when she finally got a good look at him. "Oh, you're from a different time."

"Yes," he walked over to her and kissed her quickly on the cheek. "You look lovely as always."

She scrunched up her face in protest and he stroked her jaw with the back of his hand. "Stop that. You do."

"I'm a mess! I'm covered in glitter and I haven't showered yet today. And I was up almost all night wedding planning with Ginny. But, well, thank you for lying."

"I'm not lying, but I know it's not worth trying to argue with you."

Hermione smirked. "Oh, good. You've finally figured that out in your time?"

He rolled his eyes.

"Which time are you from, anyway?" she asked.

"January 2005."

"Wow, late. Okay, well, I have to finish up with Ginny and I really should bathe and maybe take a nap. But I'd like to see you after that, maybe in three or four hours? Unless you have plans," she added with a smirk.

He raised his hands in the air. "I am completely at your mercy. I will be sitting right there the entire time, waiting for you to pop your head into the fire and summon me over."

She rolled her eyes. "You're so dramatic. I'll come here, so there's no need to watch the fire for the next few hours." She leaned in to give him a quick hug but he caught her arm before she could turn away.

"Come over as soon as you finish with the glitter," he entreated. "You can bathe and nap here. I saw all your things in the bathroom."

She nodded but seemed caught off guard by his request. He wondered if it was because in this time Draco was still trying to maintain a small level of detachment, so as not to seem too obsessive to her. Well, he was well past that in his time.

"Okay," she smiled warmly. "I should just be an hour then. Two at the most. I'll see you soon."

* * *

That night, Hermione was brewing a Calming Draught while Draco flipped frog's eyes at her. She deflected a third one with her wand before finally losing her temper. "You're going to ruin the potion!"

"Relax. I put a Barrier Charm on the cauldron while it simmers."

She cocked her eyebrow at him, then picked up a handful of frog's eyes and threw them at him. He ducked and the eyes splattered against the wall, making a disgusting sound, and they both laughed.

Draco had had fun with her today, but he missed his Hermione. This one was still guarded around him, even though they'd been dating for several months. She stumbled on her words sometimes and blushed when she made a mistake or said something she thought would upset him. He missed how comfortable he and his Hermione were around each other and it wasn't until he made jumps to the past, like this, that he realized how far they'd come as a couple. He wondered if it was the same when she was with the other Draco and made a mental note to ask her about it when he returned.

Like now, he could see she was biting her lip like she did when she was trying to work up the courage to say something. His Hermione wouldn't have thought about whatever was on her mind for this long - at least not with him, but he waited patiently and was surprised when she asked, "Do you know how it all ends yet? The time jumping, I mean."

Draco's mind immediately flashed to the piece of the time turner in his father's safe. "We know how to end it. An extraction potion," he said brusquely.

"Right, but, is that what will happen? At the end of the loop? Have you gone past 2006 yet? I bet by now you're dying to stop it. It must be getting exhausting."

"I don't want to stop it," he said forcefully, and she looked up at him, alarmed by the intensity of his tone. "This time loop is the only reason you and I are together. And if any little thing changes, if I don't complete the jumps to charm your past self in that café, or if the future I jump to doesn't have you showing me how much you love me - well, none of this happens. So no, I'm not 'dying to stop it,' as you say."

"Right - I'm sorry, that's not what I meant."

Draco took a deep breath, immediately regretting yelling at her. He didn't know why he'd snapped. Hadn't he just been telling Potter, yesterday, how exhausting it was getting and how he'd have to figure out how to stop it before starting a family with her?

"No. You're right, like always," he added with a kind smile. "It is hard, and I am getting tired of it, but I want to make sure we end it at the right time. We have to be very careful not to ruin anything necessary to get to the life I'm living now. Because I love it, and I love you, and we're both very happy."

She smiled widely and nodded. "I'm glad to hear it."

"I'm sorry for snapping at you."

She shrugged. "I'm used to it. You're very moody." Draco flicked another frog's eye at her, but she moved out of the way, just in time. Then she levitated the jar of frog's eyes to a top shelf and when she turned back to him, her expression was more serious.

"I was just asking about it because I thought by your time, we'd know more about all this. But it doesn't sound like it, which is just...I don't know, disappointing." Before Draco could respond, her wand timer went off and she removed the Barrier Charm on the cauldron, then started stirring the contents carefully.

Draco knew better than to interrupt her since this part of the brewing required a lot of concentration. As he watched her counting under her breath, he thought about what she'd said. Maybe it was a little disappointing that they still knew so little about the time loop, but really, there hadn't been much time to investigate it.

Before they were engaged, they'd been enjoying their new relationship. Then they were planning their wedding, then getting married, then setting up their new house. There was the whole business with his father and him losing his job after that. Then the huge fight. Draco felt like it was just in the past month that he'd finally had time to breathe, and maybe this Hermione was right. He should get more serious about understanding this time loop instead of just waiting until 2006 to see what happens.

* * *

_Present Time: January 2005 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

When Draco returned to his time, Hermione was gone. He checked the calendar they both used now to track all their appointments and saw she had tea with his mother today. He sighed and committed to having a large glass of wine waiting when she returned home, but she'd probably be out for a few more hours.

He climbed the stairs to the spare bedroom and registered, with annoyance, that the bed was still unmade. Would it have killed his past self to make the bed this morning? Then he remembered he still used the house elves in that time and hadn't learned to perform household spells yet. He sighed. That had been nice.

He made the bed with a flick of his wand - though it wasn't as neat and tight as when the house elves did it - then he sat on it and turned to face the largest of the room's bare walls. He regarded it for several moments, then he summoned his notebook where he recorded all his time jumps from the other room.

He started writing out the remaining jumps in his book on the wall, wondering absently as he did so how angry Hermione would be. She didn't seem overly concerned with how the house was decorated, and this was _his_ room, for the most part, since they never had house guests. So, he could turn the wall into a timeline if he wanted. Though even as he thought it, he was still unsure if she'd agree, but he figured he'd find out soon enough.

When he was done, he stepped back to review his work.

_Mar 2005 - Easter / Dec 2000 -_

_Apr 2005 - Another fight / Jul 2000 -_

_May 2005 - Hogwarts / Apr 2002 -_

_Jul 2005 - Hermione crying / Feb 2001 -_

_Aug 2005 - Empty house surrounded by bottles / Mar 2001 -_

_Nov 2005 - First obliviation / Nov 2002 -_

_Feb 2006 - Walk around London / Mar 2000 -_

_? 2006 - First time jump / Jan 2000 -_

Seven time jumps left (well, assuming he didn't go to the future anymore). Seven was manageable, he thought, and only one more fight. He hoped it didn't cause too much damage this time, especially given how strong they were because of their C.O.B.R.A. talks.

His heart clenched when he saw the July and August entries, but he tried not to dwell on those, since it could be anything that had made Hermione so sad, and there was nothing he could do right now to prevent it.

Then his gaze settled on November 2005 - the first time he was obliviated. Both he and Hermione seemed to know what was going on at that time, but he couldn't imagine what would change between now and then. What new information would they discover? And how?

Finally, he studied the blank entries on the right. He needed to get that information from Hermione. As long as all the times she'd met him in the past were captured here, there should be no consequences to taking the extraction potion after that last time jump.

He took a final look at his work and felt good. He hadn't accomplished anything, but he finally felt like he was doing something for the first time in a long while. He raised his wand and blurred the descriptions he'd written, then walked downstairs to get Hermione's glass of wine ready.

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

When Hermione arrived at the tea room for her meeting with Narcissa, she spotted her mother in law talking to a dark-haired witch. Hermione made her way over, but stopped in place when she recognized the other witch as Astoria. She looked around frantically, then ducked behind a plant and watched them.

They were both chatting easily and smiling. Then Narcissa touched Astoria's arm like it was nothing. She'd never touched Hermione's arm like that, but to be fair, Hermione would probably flinch if she did. Hermione sighed. It wasn't a secret that Narcissa would have preferred Astoria for a daughter in law over her. She'd probably even admit to it outright if Hermione had the nerve to ask her.

Hermione reminded herself she was a strong, confident witch who had nothing to fear from these two women. Then she straightened and went to join Narcissa and Astoria. "Oh, Hermione!" Astoria blushed profusely when she saw her and looked immediately ashamed, but Narcissa looked unaffected by the awkward interchange.

Astoria excused herself quickly and Narcissa motioned toward their usual table. "Shall we?"

Their tea started in an awkward silence, as it always did, and as Hermione took sips as gracefully as she could manage, she tried to think of something to say. They had exhausted the few things they had in common weeks ago, and she'd convinced herself Narcissa was just a quiet person, but then she'd just been going on and on with Astoria. So it wasn't Narcissa's personality that was the problem; it was Hermione.

"How do you stand it?" Narcissa said in an angry voice and Hermione snapped out of her thoughts.

"What?"

"The impertinence, and in an elegant establishment like this!" she hissed, waving her hand to a spot behind Hermione. Hermione turned around, confused, then spotted the source of Narcissa's ire. Two men were pointing at them, then leaned in to whisper to each other and based on their expressions, whatever they were saying wasn't nice.

"Oh. That." Hermione turned back to face Narcissa. She'd stopped noticing the glares that accompanied her every time she was out with Draco ages ago, but she guessed it was new for Narcissa. "You get used to it. And I already cast a Muffliato charm, so we can speak freely without being heard."

"What?"

She explained the charm and was pleased that Narcissa hadn't heard of it and even gave her a small smile. She also asked Hermione to explain how to cast it. That was progress, but soon they were back to silence and the Muffliato charm around them was overkill, since there was no conversation to overhear. Hermione really must have something else in common with this woman. Then she thought of it, the one, very obvious thing they had in common - Draco.

"I was wondering if you could tell me how Draco was as a boy."

Narcissa raised an eyebrow at her.

"He's told me about his childhood," Hermione continued, "but, well, he was a child and I'm sure his memory isn't as good as yours. I'd just - I don't know, like to hear any stories. If you wouldn't mind."

Narcissa regarded her, then Hermione saw her lips turn up slightly and figured she knew what Hermione was doing here. She'd probably guessed she was just grasping for something, anything, to talk about. Then she shrugged and decided to go along with it, and in a few moments the two women were laughing when she explained to Hermione how terrified Draco used to be of the peacocks on their estate. Hermione thought to herself that Astoria and Narcissa had only smiled, not laughed.

"Are you two going to have kids of your own?" Narcissa asked quickly and Hermione was caught completely off guard and choked on her tea.

"Oh," she coughed and tried to clear her throat.

"Have you not talked about it?" Narcissa pressed, ignoring the fact that Hermione was still struggling to breath.

"No. We have," Hermione paused to take a drink of water, then finally took a deep breath before continuing. "We discussed it briefly before we were married and agreed we both wanted children one day. But - well, we haven't even been married a year."

"Yes - I suppose you have time." Narcissa said in a disappointed tone.

Hermione wanted to ask Narcissa if she could love a half-blood grandchild, but knew better. Instead she said, "Draco is really great with children. Harry's godson - uh, your, uh, Draco's cousin, Teddy Lupin. They are very close. And Harry's kid - James, he loves Draco too."

Narcissa looked surprised and then Hermione saw her make her face blank, just like Draco used to do when she first became friends with him. Narcissa was completely still and quiet now, so Hermione tried to fill the uncomfortable silence.

"I think it started because when I brought Draco to events with my friends, he always chose playing with the kids over talking to the adults, for obvious reasons. And, well, now they adore him, mainly because he doesn't talk to them like they're kids - sometimes to their parents' displeasure. So - I don't know, long story short, I think he'd be an excellent father one day."

Hermione's mind drifted then as she wondered when that day might come. She always assumed they'd have to wait until the end of the time loop to have children, but what if they were wrong about the time loop? What if it didn't end as cleanly as they'd thought? Maybe they'd just enter another time loop after 2006. Would she be able to handle a time jumping partner with children at home?

Narcissa seemed to sense her anxiety, but she didn't say anything about it. It was that Slytherin quality of letting people have their secrets that Hermione liked so much.

Then Hermione saw a hint of sadness appear in the other woman's blue eyes, but it was gone in an instant. Hermione thought she knew what it was about. Narcissa wasn't a part of Draco's life, not really. She didn't get to see how he was with kids, and she barely got to see how he was with her. She just had occasional meals with each of them, but it was nothing like the Weasleys - who got to see all their children and their grandchildren playing and laughing and interacting with each other every weekend.

Even her parents had it better than Narcissa, since they got to see how Hermione and Draco were with each other. Hermione realized then it would be hard for Narcissa to accept Hermione if she never got to see the two of them together. She wished she'd thought of this sooner and decided to talk to Draco about it later, to see what he thought about trying to spend more time with his mother as a couple.

* * *

After tea, Hermione stopped by the Apothecary for a few potions ingredients before heading home. She was caught on her way out and jumped in alarm, but relaxed as soon as she recognized her attacker as Astoria.

"You gave me a fright."

"Sorry, so sorry. I - uh, just wanted to talk."

"Right," Hermione looked around at the busy street, then motioned toward an abandoned alley on the right.

Once they got there, Astoria started speaking in a rush. "I'm sorry about Draco's mother. She came to talk to me, and we were just catching up and I really didn't mean to impose. I could tell you were annoyed and I'm not trying to win Draco back or show his mother I'm better. I know it must be hard already for you and-"

"It's fine. Really," Hermione cut her off and shifted her heavy bag from one arm to the other.

"I want you to know I'm happy for you and Draco and I'm happy with my own husband, Edmund. I just - didn't want you thinking ill of me. I've heard great things from Daphne about you."

Hermione smiled. She'd heard great things from Daphne about Astoria too. Daphne had told her that although Astoria loved her new husband, she was struggling to connect with his friends. Hermione had only been half-listening at the time, but now she realized why Daphne had told her that.

"Astoria, it's really okay. I don't think poorly of you. Have you ever considered joining us for drinks at Theo's?"

"Oh, uh…" Astoria looked down at the ground before continuing. "I have, but I thought it would be awkward."

"It would certainly be awkward to start," Hermione said, and Astoria looked up at her in surprise, then gave her a small smile. "But I made Draco see my ex-boyfriend a lot and not just him, but his entire extended family. So, I can put up with a bit of awkwardness, if you want."

Astoria's smile widened. "I - yeah - I'd like that. I can check with Theo, since it is his house, and maybe I'll see you this week?"

"Sure." Hermione almost dropped her bag then, which had gotten very heavy, then remembered she was a witch and took her wand out and placed a silent feather light charm on it. That was loads better. "I should go. Have a good night, Astoria."

"Right. Good night." Astoria disapparated and Hermione watched the spot she'd just occupied for a few moments. She didn't know very much about Astoria and had expected her to be a lot like Daphne, but that wasn't the case at all.

She couldn't imagine Draco with someone so...she searched for the right word...young? She was only two years younger than them. Maybe naive was a better word. She remembered Draco telling her that he had trouble connecting with Astoria, since she hadn't really been through any hardships in her life. Well, that was good for Astoria, and Hermione was glad she'd found someone better suited for her than Draco.

Speaking of Draco, she hoped when she got back her Draco had returned from his time jump. The Draco she'd spent the weekend with was nice enough, but nothing compared to her husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It's nice to finally see Draco doing something about this time travel thing instead of sitting idly by and letting it all just happen to him. And I like how when Draco was searching his father's office, Harry was there. Of course Harry was there. Being nosy and searching places he shouldn't is his favorite thing.
> 
> The time jump in this chapter was briefly mentioned in the second scene of Chapter 22.
> 
> Thanks to my beta readers, Lancashire Witch and Kimmeh B, who make my writing much better. Come visit me on Tumblr (Alexandra-Emerson) for more content related to this story.
> 
> Today is a special day! Not only is it my birthday, but we're celebrating the end of one of the worst years ever! So as a special gift, I'll be posting the next chapter tomorrow: Fri, Jan-01.


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

_I want to plant a seed in your mind, some tiny particle of thought that bears a remnant of me. So little by little, day by day, you find yourself thinking of me, until one morning, you will wake up and realize you can't think of anything else._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: February 2005 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

"Hey, come here. I want to show you something."

Hermione was reading in the chair by the window, while Crookshanks sat on her feet. She looked up and cocked her head at Draco, curiously. Draco saw her eyes brighten and smiled. Hermione loved a mystery, even something as simple as this. She popped up out of the chair, to Crookshanks' dismay, and went to Draco's side. "What is it?" she asked, eagerly.

He led them across the hall to the spare bedroom and positioned her in front of the largest blank wall. She cocked her head at him, and he pulled his wand out of his pocket, then paused before removing the concealment charm.

"I guess I should ask first. Do you want to know the dates of my upcoming time jumps? I know you've gone back and forth on that in the past."

She looked very confused by the question, which he guessed was fair, and sat back on the bed, thinking. "What are you about to show me?" She looked curiously at the wall.

"I have my remaining jumps laid out, labeled with the month and year, but not the exact dates."

"Okay…" she still sounded confused. "Just show me."

He revealed the months he'd written a few weeks ago but left the descriptions blurred and she nodded thoughtfully and studied the wall for a few moments before turning back to him. "Was there a reason you couldn't write this on a piece of parchment?"

He smiled at her. "I was feeling dramatic that day. Now, I need your help with the other sides of these jumps. I know you don't keep a journal, but I thought with all those planners you have, you may be able to figure out all the times you saw me in the past and see if they fit in with these," he motioned toward the right side of the wall.

"Ohhh, I see what you're saying. You want to make sure all the times I saw you are accounted for, which would mean…" she trailed off, but he knew she understood why he'd wanted to map it all out.

"We could end it without impacting our relationship," he finished for her.

"Right here," she made a line with her finger under the last jump, which was still labeled: _"? 2006_."

"Okay. I'll get my planners."

They spent an hour filling in the rest of the wall. Hermione considered carefully before writing in every description, explaining that she didn't want to give away too many details of the future. She thought it was important that Draco behave naturally when he went back to the past, and not as if he was following a script.

They both stood back and looked at the wall when she was done.

_Mar 2005 - ()()()()() / Dec 2000 - Ballet_

_Apr 2005 - ()()()()()() ()()()() / Jul 2000 - Quidditch match_

_May 2005 - ()()()()()() / Apr 2002 - Draco with Harry_

_Jul 2005 - ()()()()() ()()()() / Feb 2001 - Draco cheers Hermione up_

_Aug 2005 - ()()()()() ()()() ()() ()()()()() / Mar 2001 - Drunken kiss_

_Nov 2005 - ()()()() ()()()()()() / Nov 2002 - Talk after Halloween Ball_

_Feb 2006 - ()()()() ()()()()() ()()()()() / Mar 2000 - Flourish and Blotts_

_? 2006 - ()()()() ()()()() ()()()() / Jan 2000 - Draco with Lucius_

"Do you have any idea what that last date is?" Hermione asked.

"Actually, I do." Draco raised his wand and the words reformed to write, _Mar 2006._ "There was a clue, in that time jump, in a Prophet I saw on the table. I didn't see the date, but it referred to a project that I just recently heard word of in this time. It's scheduled to be completed next March."

Hermione nodded, then looked over at Draco. "This isn't the whole story though," she looked back at her planners.

"I know. I've just realized that. We need to check your notes with my notes of all the time jumps that have already happened. But-" his heart dropped then. Maybe what he was planning wouldn't be possible. "Do you even have a record of every time you saw me in the past?"

She blushed and looked back at her planners. "I kept track after the first two, which are already accounted for."

"You did?"

She went to pick up one of her planners and showed him a week in the middle of February 2001. "See that squiggle there?" He looked down and saw the mark she was pointing at.

"Yeah."

"That's supposed to be a snake, and I made one in my planner every day I saw you."

"Why?"

She smiled and shrugged. "I have no idea why, honestly, but - well - it's a good thing. Because now I can go through all these and make sure they match up with time jumps we already know about."

He was speechless. It was so sweet, that even that early on she'd been keeping track, as if on some deeper level, she'd known it would be important one day. They spent the next few hours pouring through all her notebooks for the "snake" and comparing the dates between Draco's notes.

When Hermione got through the last planner, she put it down and beamed at Draco. "That's all of them."

"Really? Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Everything is accounted for. Which means-" she paused to point at the wall. "After all these jumps happen, our history is set."

"And we can remove it," Draco whispered.

They both sat in silence, looking over at the dates on the wall. Then Hermione stood up and he saw she was staring intently at the spot that said, _"Draco with Lucius."_

"Draco," her expression was serious when she turned back to him. "What do you think your father told you about your future? What does your gut say?"

_That we can't have kids._

Draco had been studying the notes he'd taken from his father's desk and had found that Lucius had written "inconsequential" next to the passage detailing how heirs had to be purebloods to inherit. Why had he thought this law inconsequential? Was it because he knew kids wouldn't be possible for them?

It fit. Hermione had told him she wanted kids, so if she found out they would never have them, she'd be very upset. Maybe his father had used that knowledge to warn Draco from marrying her. If Draco had learned that right before his wedding, he would want to postpone, just to be sure Hermione knew before getting married to him.

Draco had been researching infertility curses for a few weeks now but hadn't found anything besides brief mentions of them in history, but he needed specifics. Was it something that had already been in place on the entire Malfoy bloodline? Or had his father had to activate it? How exactly did the magic work? And most importantly, could it be reversed?

"That bad, huh?" Hermione was looking at him with concern.

He looked at her sadly and pulled her close. "I don't want to worry you with my worst guess. I'm following up on some of the things I found in my father's study, and I'll tell you as soon as I know something concrete."

She nodded against his chest, then turned and looked back at the wall. "A part of me thought it would never end."

"I know. There's hope for a normal life, one day," Draco responded, but the words felt hollow on his tongue.

* * *

_Present Time: March 2005 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

When Draco returned home after a long day at the Crusaders for Creatures office, Hermione was working in the drawing room. She looked up when he appeared in the middle of the room and smiled at him. "Hey, how was your day?"

_Awful. Your idea for me to work for non-profits was stupid and I wish I've never gone along with it._

"Fine," he grumbled as he threw his cloak over a chair and stormed upstairs. He started rummaging through the hall closet until he found his broom, and as his fingers closed around it, he immediately felt lighter.

He changed into his Quidditch robes quickly and called downstairs before apparating to Greengrass Estate, "I'm going out."

"Where?"

He rolled his eyes. _Does she need to be involved in every little aspect of my life?_

Hermione's head appeared at the bottom of the stairs and she was looking up at him worriedly. "Tell me what's wrong. And where are you going? We have plans to go to-"

He disapparated before he could hear the rest of her sentence. They always had plans to go some place or another. It wouldn't hurt her to go alone sometimes.

He felt better just a few moments into flying. He was glad he had Daphne as a friend since now that he was avoiding Malfoy Manor, the only other option for flying besides the grounds at Greengrass Estate were the fields near the Burrow. He'd never asked the Weasleys if it was okay if he used them, though he didn't think they'd have a problem with it. Unfortunately, Nott Manor was surrounded by Muggle houses so that wasn't an option.

He breathed in the fresh air and felt it start to work at calming him. He'd have to make it up to Hermione, he knew, but he still wasn't in the right mind to think about that. He focused on the feeling of the wind in his hair and the weightlessness of floating through the air.

Draco returned to the house a few hours after dinner and saw Hermione reading a magazine by the fire.

"I'm sorry," he said from the doorway.

"Good," he could tell she was angry and sat next to her on the couch. She kept her eyes on her magazine.

He opened his mouth to speak a few times, but no words came out. After the third time, he sighed heavily and Hermione closed her magazine and turned to face him. "I hate when you leave like that."

"I know," he sighed and leaned his head against the couch.

"Was it Ana again?" she asked as she placed a comforting hand on his leg.

He placed his hand on hers and nodded. "I had an awful day with that bint. She insists on reviewing every line of my investment plan, as if I'm going to embezzle funds from them or something, like a criminal. Some days I hate working there."

"You can quit at any time, Draco. I'm not making you work there, I was just trying-"

"I know. Really," he gave her a small smile.

Hermione put her magazine down on the table and leaned against his side. "Next time, can you just tell me you had a bad day and need to go fly?"

"I'll try. But no promises," he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer.

"You smell," she said, but didn't move away from him.

"You came to lean on me. I didn't invite you over here," he responded with a smirk.

"Well, you should take a shower. We're supposed to go hide eggs at the Potters' in a few minutes."

"Oh right. I forgot." He gently pushed her up to a sitting position, then stood up from the couch. When he was in the doorway, he looked back at her, "I'm glad you got me the job, really. You were right. They desperately need the help, and I like having something to do."

"I'm sorry about Ana. She's an idiot."

He nodded. "She reminds me of Umbridge."

"Oh, the woman whose Inquisitorial Squad you couldn't wait to join?"

"Yes, I do see the irony," he replied bitterly.

She smiled to herself and picked up her magazine, "Go on. We'll leave once you're ready. We're going to be late again, but - well - that's our reputation now. I guess they'll assume we were shagging."

"I could get ready very fast and then we could shag."

She shook her head, "If you hadn't wasted so much time with your silent tantrum, maybe we could have done that," she flipped a page of her magazine. "Now go!"

Draco sighed and went upstairs. He was disappointed he'd be missing this Easter but he knew this was an important time jump for his past self. He'd seen what it was like to be with Hermione outside the house, and he'd gotten a glimpse into what a friendship with Potter would be like. Even having Teddy hang around him all day had been helpful.

After he was done with his shower, he still felt lousy, but tried to put a smile on his face, since he knew Hermione didn't deserve to suffer just because he was in a bad mood. When he got back to the drawing room, she put down the magazine again and patted the spot next to her on the couch.

"So there's no time for a shag, but how about a few minutes of snogging?"

He rushed to the spot she'd been indicating and pinned her against the couch, propping himself up on his arms so he wouldn't crush her. "Excellent compromise," he whispered in her ear before capturing her mouth with his.

* * *

_Present Time: March 2005 / Draco's Time: December 2000_

* * *

** Ginny Potter **

James fell asleep in Ginny's arms before she had a chance to get him to his bed. She guessed the excitement of the egg hunt and all the people in the house had worn him out. She was about to take him upstairs when she saw Malfoy go outside with Teddy. She figured she should check on them, since she didn't know how good this version of Malfoy was with kids.

When she got outside, Malfoy was sitting in a chair while Teddy zoomed around the yard on his broom. Ginny waved at Teddy, then turned to Malfoy. "We all seem to be aging, and here you are, getting younger."

He narrowed his eyes at her, but stayed silent and she looked back at him, impassively. "How are you, Ferret?"

"As well as I can be, sitting here next to you, Ginerva." She smirked. Some things - like Malfoy's quips - seemed to be unaffected by time.

She was about to say something else when James began stirring in her arms. She shushed him back to sleep and started bouncing him. "I really should put him down. I'll be right back."

After putting James in his room, she saw Harry had joined Malfoy outside and left them alone. She remembered then that she'd forgotten to tell Harry that Malfoy was time jumping today and wondered if he'd notice immediately, or if it would take him a while. It was obvious to her, now that she knew, and she scolded herself for not noticing Malfoy's condition earlier. She saw Hermione leaning against the counter, absently moving food around her plate and went to join her.

"How are you?" She cast a quick Muffliato charm around them, just in case.

"Fine," Hermione plastered a smile on her face.

"You don't need to lie to me. Malfoy told me last night that this is the first time jump since your fight, when the version of him visiting wouldn't be in love with you."

"He did?"

"He's worried about you."

"It's okay, really. I committed to trying to love his past self, even though he doesn't love me and, well, I think I do. He was really cute when we were getting ready earlier. He blind-folded me so I wouldn't watch him change."

Ginny laughed out loud. "Oh, so he used to be modest."

Hermione smiled in response. "That obviously went away."

"Do you know what time he's from?"

"December 2000."

"Wow, that early? Well, he's surprisingly good with kids, even then. I guess he's just a natural."

Hermione gave her a small smile.

"Are there kids in your future?"

Hermione shrugged and looked away.

"Do you want them? I've never asked."

"I do, one day."

"One day soon?" Ginny pressed.

"I - I don't know." Hermione was avoiding her gaze now and had gone back to moving pieces of fruit around on her plate.

"Please don't tell me this is something you two haven't talked about."

"We have. Before we were married, and we both want them."

"Oh, good. So, what's wrong?"

"I'll tell you, but you have to keep it to yourself."

Ginny looked back at her friend, exasperated. "When have I ever revealed one of your secrets? Now tell me what's on your mind."

Hermione looked over at the door to the back garden, then back at Ginny. "Okay. So I've actually been thinking about kids a lot, since his mother asked me if we planned to have them a few weeks ago." Ginny raised her eyebrows at that. She had a few follow-up questions, but didn't want to interrupt Hermione, since she was finally talking.

"And the timing with work is sort of perfect. I'm finishing up this current role at the end of the year and…" she trailed off.

"You want a kid by the end of the year?" Ginny asked. "Well, they take a little while to cook up so you may want to get started on that."

"I know that, Ginny. But we have this time loop to consider. The good news is, we were researching a few weeks ago and we're confident we can end it without affecting our relationship in March 2006. So, if we did have a kid around then, it would sort of work out well, wouldn't it? The end of his time jumps would coincide with us entering this next phase of our life."

"That sounds nice, but why do you sound sad?"

Hermione went back to messing with her plate and Ginny moved it away from her, since watching Hermione play with the food was driving her a little mad. Hermione didn't stick her tongue out, like she usually did when Ginny treated her like a kid, but just shrugged instead. "Tell me," Ginny pressed, using her mum voice.

Hermione shrugged again. "I'm nervous about talking to Draco about my plan, because he'll know immediately if it happens. He's been to those times already and he'll know if there was a baby, or if I was pregnant. And he's never mentioned anything about it before. So, I don't know. I had the plan and got excited about it, then realized just a few moments later it wouldn't happen. It was just disappointing."

"But, don't you have that rule about him not telling you things from the future? Maybe that's why he hasn't mentioned it," Ginny pointed out.

"Maybe…"

"Hermione," Ginny said sternly, "this is obviously bothering you, so you need to talk to him. We don't want a repeat of last time."

"I know, really. And I will. Well, when my Draco gets back, of course."

They were quiet for awhile, then Ginny turned to Hermione and whispered, "Do you want to hear a secret?"

Hermione smiled and nodded.

"I'm pregnant."

"Again?!"

Ginny shushed her, but realized the Muffliato charm was still up. "It's still really early. We're due in November. But, well, if your plan works out, our kids may be in the same year at Hogwarts."

Hermione smiled and hugged Ginny. "I'm so happy for both of you."

Ginny nudged Hermione and gave her a wicked smile. "I can't wait to vent to you about motherhood."

"You already do that."

Ginny shook her head. "Oh that? That's nothing. I've been holding back."

She was pleased when Hermione finally cracked a smile. "Great sales pitch, Ginny."

* * *

_Present Time: April 2005 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

Hermione was laying on her bed, tracing out the Arcturus constellation as she waited for Draco to get back from Theo's. She heard him swear when he appeared in the door.

"Shite, did we have one of these planned? I completely forgot."

She propped herself on her elbows and looked over at him. "No, we didn't. I just - have something I want to talk about. If you're okay to talk now, that is."

He nodded and kicked off his shoes, then laid down on his side and looked at her. "What is it? Is it about the most recent time jump? I guess we never talked about it in detail."

"Sort of…" Hermione's voice trailed off and she sighed, trying to figure out where to start.

"It's not Astoria, is it? She didn't stay over and most of the time she was cross with me. Maybe you remember. When I saw you at the ballet, I thought I saw you register the tension between us."

"It's not that, Draco. I trust you. And now that I've seen you two together a few times during drinks, it's clear there are no lingering feelings there - on either side."

"Good. I agree. So - uh - it was something about your end of the jump?"

She turned to him and nodded. "Do you remember what we talked about, when we returned here from Grimmauld Place?"

She saw him rack his brain before finally shaking his head. "I don't remember. Tell me."

She watched his eyes as she said, "You told me we didn't have kids."

He looked away from her before she could read anything on his face. "Oh."

"You've never seen kids, or me pregnant, during the time loop, have you?"

He shook his head once and her heart dropped. Then Draco grabbed her hands and rushed to reassure her. "But that doesn't mean we don't have them. It must just be after we end it." He was hiding something, she could tell. Draco was avoiding her gaze again, looking down at their clasped hands instead.

"You're holding something back. Tell me what it is."

He released her hands and turned to look up at the sky. That wasn't a good sign. If he couldn't say it to her face, it must be pretty bad. "I'm worried we might not be able to have children."

"What?" Her chest clenched painfully at the thought.

"I have no proof. It's just a suspicion. But when you asked me what I thought my father was telling me, what my gut said, well, that was my guess. Maybe that's what I was trying to tell you before we were married. And I've been looking into all the possible curses but haven't been able to find anything detailed enough to be helpful."

It took Hermione a few moments to find her voice. Her mind was racing through all the possibilities. "Do you think it's some kind of Malfoy family curse preventing half-bloods? Or a more directed infertility spell that your father cast on us, specifically?"

He kept his eyes on the ceiling and she really wanted him to look at her but knew why he wouldn't want to. She probably looked devastated now and he would think it was his fault.

"Spells of both nature have been done in the past," he answered in a flat voice. "But the first one - I think I would have heard about that growing up. And the second - I'd like to think my father wasn't capable of something so cruel. But then again, maybe that's why he was obliviating me. Maybe he had to do something to me to activate the spell and needed me to forget for long enough so I couldn't try to reverse it."

Hermione reached over and pulled Draco's cheek so he was facing her. He looked as sad as she felt. She stroked his face with her thumb, then said determinately, "It's time for you to confront him."

"I know." He grabbed for her hand and brought it to his lips and kissed it.

"I wouldn't have changed my mind about marrying you, if that _was_ what you were trying to tell me."

His face fell. "Hermione, I know you-"

"I mean it," she cut him off and went to lay her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and she immediately felt better. "If we really want kids, there are other ways. But you - there's no other you."

She felt him laugh softly under her. "Well, you know what I mean," she added.

* * *

_Present Time: April 2005 / Draco's Time: July 2000_

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

Hermione and Draco were sitting on the couch, each reading a novel with their legs intertwined. She felt him jump up and looked over in time to see him flicker. She sat up and looked at him questioningly, asking him with her eyes which kind of Draco she was about to meet. He didn't need to respond, since she could read the answer off his face, but he voiced it anyway.

"I'm coming from July 2000 and I'm going to be terrible and I'm so sorry. Remember that I love you more than anything," he moved his hand to her leg as he continued to speak in a rush. "I was an idiot, so please don't listen to anything I'm about to say. You're perfect. Smart, beautiful, kind, driven, loyal-"

"Draco," she bent to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I won't punish you for your past self. Really."

He looked doubtful, and she was a little nervous too, but tried not to let it show on her face. It had been almost easy to love the Draco from Easter, since he was clearly trying hard to be kind to her, but this one would be another story. She took a deep breath, then in an instant her husband was gone and was replaced by a younger, more scared- looking, version of himself.

They sat in silence for a moment and Hermione focused on his eyes, which were identical to her Draco's. They were stormy and she saw a torrent of emotions swimming there: fear, primarily, but also, confusion, anger, and - surprisingly - longing.

He dropped her gaze and looked down at his hand, which was still on her leg and scowled before pulling it back quickly. "What's the date?" he spat.

She took a deep breath and tried to stay calm. She told him the date and explained how she knew which time he was from. When he asked why she didn't always expect him, she told him how they liked to forget about the timing jumping sometimes. He shook his head and she could tell something about what she'd said had struck a nerve.

"What are you so angry about, Draco?" She didn't expect him to tell her, and she already sort of knew. She wanted so badly to help him right now, but her question had set him off, and soon they were fighting.

She'd told herself she wouldn't engage in a fight with this Draco, but he had a way of knowing exactly the right thing to say to hurt her. A few minutes in, she realized what she was doing was completely unhelpful. She tried to escape to her bedroom, but he followed her there, and when she tried to pull the door closed, he held it open.

For someone who claimed to hate her so much, he really didn't like to leave her alone. "How are you okay with this?" he asked. "Surely, you see this is fucked up."

Hermione sighed and let a little of the despondency she was feeling show through. "We had a big fight about it last year. It was...hard. But now…" She shrugged. "I don't know. I go back and forth."

It was a bit a relief to be able to speak freely about her thoughts to Draco, even if it was just this awful version of him. She tried to keep this melancholy hidden around her husband, since she knew how bad it would make him feel. She was still a little hurt that her plan for having kids within the year wasn't going to work out and she suspected some of that was coming through as she talked to this Draco.

He made some comment about how they should end the time travel and she almost pushed him then. That idiot, like they hadn't already thought of that? She made a sarcastic remark instead and then he was yelling again about how this was his life and he hated her, blah blah blah.

She went to the bookshelf and was barely listening as he ranted on. Once she picked a book, she was surprised to find him still there. Why wouldn't he leave her alone? Then he asked the most ridiculous question.

"Why don't you try to court me when I come forward?"

Hermione regarded him and for a moment, she had the wild thought that this was her Draco, since this was the exact kind of joke he would make. She burst out laughing and soon enough, this Draco had joined in and she could almost imagine she was with her husband.

It didn't last long though, and he sneered at her and finally moved to leave the room. "I'm going to find a way to break this fucking time loop," he called over his shoulder.

She was still laughing, then said between breaths, "Good luck!"

It was ironic, really, that her Draco had just made the same promise, but he was much nicer about it. She settled into her chair and called Crookshanks over, then started reading the book she'd selected, hoping the time jump wouldn't last very long.

* * *

_Present Time: April 2005 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

Hermione was in the kitchen making a potion when Draco returned that night. He could tell by the unmistakable smell that it was a Pepper-up potion and this was further confirmed when he saw Hermione with a protective bubble-head charm.

He waved at her from the doorway. She beamed at him and looked ridiculous through the bubble head. He wanted to run to her and scoop her up in his arms but kept his distance while she stabilized the potion. He hated brewing Pepper-up potion and was happy she didn't seem to mind this chore very much. He waited in the hall and in a few moments she appeared, dropping the charm as soon as she walked through the doorway.

He embraced her, kissing her hard and a little desperately. She melted into him and he pulled her closer, relieved that she still seemed to like him.

"What happened?" she asked breathlessly when he finally let her go.

"It was the night of the Quidditch match."

"Oh, right. I remember." She raised her hand to his face. "That was kind of a turning point for me, when you apologized."

"I meant every word, and I can say it all again if-"

"Draco," she silenced him with a kiss, then laid her head against his chest. "We've already re-hashed all of that, recently. You don't need to apologize anymore." He tightened his arms around her and she added, "I'm glad you're back."

"What happened here?"

"Not much. You pointed out the injustice of how when you travel back you woo me, but when the past you comes forward, I didn't bother to woo you in return."

She felt him sigh heavily. "Fuck, I was such a prat."

"You say that like it's past tense."

He tickled her and she escaped into the kitchen where she knew he wouldn't follow her. "You may have escaped now - but this isn't over," he called to her from the safety of the hallway.

"You're just confirming that you're still a prat," she smiled and he turned toward the front door, planning to pick up dinner since there was no way he was eating anything prepared around those peppery fumes.

"Draco - "

"Yeah?" He turned to look at her over his shoulder.

"I loved him, even though he was mean."

"You - you did?"

"I did." And he could tell by the brightness in her eyes, magnified by the bubble head charm, that she was telling the truth. She gave him another smile before turning back to the potion.

A warmth started to course through his veins and his heart felt lighter than it had in ages. He felt like he was floating the entire way to the deli at the corner of the street. She loved him, all of him, and for the first time in ages, he felt like they could get through whatever was going on with his father. And now they were another time jump closer to their happily ever after.

* * *

** Lucius Malfoy **

When Lucius arrived at the restaurant, Draco was already sitting at the table, looking extremely nervous. Lucius sighed. Why did Draco feel the need to meet in public like this? If he didn't know better, he'd think that Draco was afraid to be alone with him, but he knew that wasn't what this was. Draco was punishing him, and it hurt more than Lucius could have ever imagined it would. He took a deep breath and pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind before approaching his son.

"Father," Draco said in a flat voice as Lucius took the seat across from him.

"It's good to see you, Draco. It's been too long."

"Right," Draco was avoiding Lucius' gaze and he didn't look nervous, like he had from across the room. His face was blank now and Lucius could tell he was working hard to maintain this mask of indifference. It made sense that he would be trying to keep his emotions under control. The thoughts on Draco's mind were a lot heavier than the average person's. Lucius waited patiently for Draco to start talking.

"I just want to cut to it, Father. Is there a curse that would prevent me and Hermione from having children?"

Lucius' eyes widened in surprise. "Children? With your condition? That would be a disaster," he hissed.

Draco's eyes shifted from worried to hopeful. "So, it's possible? For us to have kids?"

"I -" Lucius cut off, confused. Why did Draco think it wasn't possible? Because he'd married a Mudblood? Lucius had heard of curses like that. It was arcane magic, but it would require someone to enact it. Did Draco think someone had done that? Did he think _he_ had done that? Was that why he'd been punishing Lucius so severely?

Why on earth would Lucius do that? Especially, given everything that had passed between them. This poisonous idea had Hermione's name written all over it.

"You suspect me of enacting a curse that would keep you and your wife from having children? Who put that in your head? I think we both know."

"Leave Hermione out of this conversation," Draco said in an insolent tone he never would have used with Lucius before he'd met that awful girl.

Lucius sneered and was about to respond when Draco got up from his seat. "You didn't do anything? And you don't know of any magic that would prevent it?"

Lucius continued to glare at him. This entire conversation made no sense. Of all the things they could be talking about, Draco chose children? "So your plan is to have kids _before_ the time loop is up. But they'd be erased as soon as you break it. You must see that."

His son sighed and shook his head. "I'm not breaking it." All the breath left Lucius' chest at those words. "I've told you before," Draco continued, unaware of his father's pain. "Just - I wanted to make sure you hadn't done anything to prevent it. I wouldn't put it past you."

His words hit Lucius like a dagger. "I love you, Draco, though I can tell you don't believe that."

Draco was about to say something, but he shook his head and left Lucius alone. He replayed the odd conversation with his son as he tried to regain his composure, but his heart was pounding hard in his chest and nothing he tried could calm it. A few moments later, when the waiter came to ask if his dining companion would be returning, Lucius nearly hexed him. The waiter seemed to sense the danger and left him alone.

Children. Hermione had convinced Draco to have children with her. He wanted to wring her neck. Turning Draco against Lucius, he could almost forgive, especially given her past experiences with him. But this. He'd never forgive her for this.

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

"Sorry I'm late," Hermione leaned against a nearby pole and tried to catch her breath. "I ran here. Are you ready for lunch?"

Theo wasn't paying her any mind. She followed his gaze to a tall, brawny wizard with light brown hair, who was talking to two older wizards across the atrium. He was laughing with his whole body and Hermione almost laughed herself, even though she obviously didn't know the joke.

She looked back at Theo and he was studying the wizard intently. She wondered if this was what admiration looked like on Theo's face.

"Earth to Theo," she waved a hand in front of his face and his eyes snapped to meet hers.

"What? What does that mean?"

"It's a Muggle saying. It refers to space travel. Like your head is in space and I'm calling to you from Earth."

He scowled. "My head is just fine."

"Do you like that bloke?" she pointed back at the tall wizard and he pulled her hand down quickly, then pretended to look bored.

"What bloke?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Oh, I don't know. The one across the atrium that you were practically drooling over." Theo snorted. "You know, the handsome one with the contagious smile?"

"Mind your fucking business, Granger."

Granger? She'd clearly struck a nerve. Theo had started walking to the Ministry exit but Hermione stayed in place and looked back at the wizard. She heard Theo sigh behind her and mutter a few obscenities under his breath before appearing back at her side.

"Tell me the story with him," she said without taking her eyes off the man in question.

He waited a long time and they both watched as a young witch joined the group. She placed a hand on the tall wizard's arm and when Hermione looked at Theo, he was scowling.

"I worked with him on a project recently. End of story." Theo said when he saw Hermione looking at him.

"And you like him?"

Theo shrugged and Hermione took that as a yes.

"You do like him. Theo, that's a big deal. You don't like anyone."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "I like you. Or I did, before this conversation."

She smiled warmly at him. Theo was so sweet behind all that sullenness, and if he liked this guy, whoever he was, she wanted to help him out.

"What's his name?"

She thought he wasn't going to answer her, then he said in a low voice, "Bennett."

"What's his first name?"

"That was it. His full name is Bennett Clark."

"He has two surnames?"

"Your name is Hermione and your husband's name is Draco. Are you really in a position to judge someone else's name?" Theo scoffed and Hermione laughed.

"Fair point. Okay. Why don't you ask him out?"

Theo sighed and turned away from the man. "It won't work out."

"Why not?"

"He's a Hufflepuff," Theo said, as if that explained everything.

She cocked her head in confusion. "You're a Hufflepuff," she whispered, and Theo rolled his eyes.

"I don't mean it the way Blaise uses it, as a euphemism for gay. I mean a real Hufflepuff, with the yellow scarf and badger."

"Oh, so you mean to say he's nice." Theo shrugged again. "You're nice - deep down. And you clearly like him, so go ask him out. What's the worst that could happen?"

"He could say no!" Theo hissed and his eyes were scared.

"Well, then you'd be alone, like you are now. So...no harm, no foul."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"Sorry. That's a Muggle sports term. You know, I think I've been watching too much television lately." She hit Theo on the shoulder then. "Look! He's alone. Go over there!"

"No. He looks like he's waiting for someone. Maybe his boyfriend. Or maybe I got it all wrong and he's not gay at all."

Hermione turned back to Theo and grabbed both of his arms with her hands. She looked him intently in the eye as she talked. "You can do this, Theo. I know you're scared. But you are incredible. You're my favorite out of all the Slytherins, even Draco sometimes. You are smart, and sweet, and nice, and funny, and caring and if you want to date a Hufflepuff, you should. So - go ask him out!"

He glared at her for a while, but eventually he took a deep breath and straightened his spine before crossing the room to where Bennett was standing.

Hermione bit her lip and watched him approach. She smiled to herself when Bennett gave Theo a warm smile when he saw him. That was a good sign. Then Theo said something and the other wizard shook his head, then pointed behind Theo, but Theo kept his gaze on the wizard and she couldn't see his expression.

Theo rushed away then and didn't even come back to her but went straight for the fireplaces. She knew she should follow him, but she had to make one stop first.

"Bennett?" Hermione asked when she reached the tall wizard. He was more handsome up close, with startling blue eyes and a kind face. His eyes widened when he saw her and she figured he recognized who she was.

"Hi," he said with a large smile.

"Right. Hi."

"Uh, can I help you?"

"I just came here to tell you that you are an idiot and you're making a terrible mistake."

Bennett's eyes turned sad, then he looked around him, like he wanted to be sure she was talking to him. "What?"

"I know Theo is surly, and a Slytherin, and his father was a Death Eater, but he's wonderful and you would be lucky to date someone like him. And it's your loss that you can't get your head out of your own arse to see past surface-level prejudices to the person he is deep down."

She turned to leave but he grabbed her arm. "Wait."

"Let go of me," Hermione snapped, and he looked scared.

"Sorry, I didn't mean…" he trailed off and she continued to glare at him. He was obviously strong, but she was confident she could best him with magic, if it came to that. "I think you got the wrong idea."

Hermione crossed her arms. "Why did you say no?"

"Just now?" Bennett asked, confused.

"Yes, I saw. Theo came over to ask you out and you rejected him. You barely gave him the time of day."

He laughed loudly and she almost joined in, since it was infectious, but this was Theo he was laughing at and he was one of her best friends. She hardened her glare and fingered her wand in her pocket.

Bennett looked wary when he caught her gaze, then cut off laughing. "Theo came over and asked me if I had the time. I told him I didn't have a watch, then pointed to the clock over there." He motioned behind Hermione and she turned to see the large clock in the atrium.

She removed her hand from her pocket and blushed and she slowly turned back to face Bennett. "Oh, bloody hell."

"Was he supposed to come over and ask me out?" Bennett asked, amused now.

"No. What gave you that idea?" Hermione's voice came out higher than usual. She was thinking hard, trying to figure out how to cover for her blunder.

"Well it's about time. We've been checking each other out for ages, and I thought he might like me, but I wasn't entirely sure he was gay; he's very hard to read."

"Well, would you go out with him? If he had asked?"

Bennett nodded. "I would. He's hilarious and interesting. And you just made an excellent case for him, and everyone knows you have great taste in friends." He smiled at Hermione and she couldn't help but smile back.

"I...right," Hermione said, still unsure what to do from here.

"How about this? Tell him that after he left, I came to find you and asked you to tell him to meet me for lunch tomorrow."

"You'd do that? And, uh, not tell him what I did here?"

Bennett shrugged. "Sure - I mean, you saved the whole Wizarding World. It's the least I can do, as a thank you."

Hermione usually corrected people when they said things like this, but she needed this favor, so she nodded. "Okay, good. Uh, I should go find him and tell him."

"Lovely to meet you, Hermione." Bennett held his hand out and she shook it firmly.

"Yes, I hope I'll be seeing you again soon."

Later, after Hermione found Theo at the Indian Restaurant they usually ate at and told him her story, he regarded her with extreme suspicion.

"What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything. Why do you think that?"

"Because you're a meddler."

"I am not!" But she was, she really was. Draco said it all the time, and it had certainly proven true today, but if she hadn't gone and meddled, Theo wouldn't have a date tomorrow. She took a deep breath and stuck with her story. "I was about to follow you out and he cornered me. That's it!"

He was studying her intently and she tried to keep her face blank, like Draco did, but she could feel the blush creeping up her neck. "Stop looking at me like that. He said he found you hilarious and interesting and the only reason he hadn't asked you out already was because he wasn't sure if you were gay. Is that so hard to believe?"

"Yes."

"Well, it's true. Now, stop bothering me about this and let's talk about what you're going to do to wow him tomorrow on your first date."

Theo looked scared again and she reached for his arm across the table. "You're going to be fine."

"You don't know that."

She pulled her hand back. "Right. You hate empty assurances. Sorry."

"Empty threats though," he responded with a smile, "those are my specialty."

She smirked back at him. She wanted to tell him to just be like this with Bennett tomorrow, himself - witty, moody, but also caring and kind. Though she thought it was probably better to take his mind off of his date, at least for now, so she asked him questions about work instead. As they talked, she saw his mind drift every so often as a ghost of a smile appeared on his face and she guessed he was thinking about Bennett.

God, she hoped that date went well, and if it didn't, she'd just have to hex Bennett. She made a mental note to find out which department he worked in when she got back to the Ministry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: There was a lot going on in this chapter. I don't have a ton of notes, just continued thanks to everyone still reading this story and to my beta readers, Lancashire Witch and Kimmeh B.
> 
> I know we saw another glimpse into Lucius' POV here and you all are probably getting sick of being in the dark, so I'll reassure you that everything going on with Lucius will be explained in the next two chapters. Get excited!
> 
> The Easter and ballet time jumps were in the middle of Chapter 7 and the mean Draco and Quidditch game time jumps were at the beginning of Chapter 4.
> 
> Come see me on Tumblr (Alexandra-Emerson) for more content related to this story and please let me know what you think!
> 
> Thank you all for the birthday wishes, I ended up having a lovely day. And I wish you all a very great 2021! The next chapter will be posted Sun, Jan-3.


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

_You begin to invent things after awhile. I suppose it's only human nature to add and subtract from our memories; to recall them the way we feel they should be remembered. After all, our lives are a living work of art - shouldn't we be allowed to shape it in any way we choose?_

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: May 2005 / Draco's Time: April 2002_

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

Hermione sighed when she got back to the room and Draco's robes were still hanging on the closet door. What was taking him so long to get ready today? She went to the bathroom to scold him, but her face fell as soon as she recognized a younger Draco.

"Oh no. Not today. Bugger- that's why you were taking so long to get dressed."

"Why? What's today?"

She went to get his robes, then asked when she returned to the bathroom, "When are you from?"

"April 2002."

She nodded and hung the robes on the hook on the wall. "Okay. I guess it could be worse. Change into these. We're leaving in fifteen minutes."

Hermione closed the door and leaned her back against it as he said. "You never said where we're going."

She let out a long sigh. "It's May 2nd, 2005."

Draco was silent and she remembered what he'd said last year, when they went to Hogwarts. He'd said it was the second time he'd been back since the war. Was this time his first? She felt tears spring into her eyes and rushed to wipe them away. He'd need her to be strong today.

Hermione went to the mirror and checked that her make-up hadn't smeared, then pinned up a few errant curls when she heard the door to the bathroom open. Draco was standing completely still and she knew this was what he did when he was trying to hide his emotions. She grabbed one of his spare wedding bands from the dresser and approached him slowly, holding it out for him to take.

She wanted to wrap her arms around him and tell him everything would be okay, but it wasn't appropriate, since they weren't dating yet in his time. He reached for the band and slipped it on and she saw his eyes soften slightly, like he'd found a small amount of comfort in wearing the ring.

"You haven't been back yet, have you?" she asked softly.

Draco bit his lip and shook his head. He closed his eyes and she guessed he was using Occlumency, because when he opened them again they were blank. "Oh, Draco." She placed a hand on his cheek and he leaned into her touch.

"It's a hard day for everyone. Just stay silent and I promise no one will yell at you," she was speaking quickly now, eager to reassure him. "You went last year and that was our first time going together, but you said it was the second time for you. I guess you were talking about today…" her voice trailed off and she dropped her hand, in case that made him feel more uncomfortable.

Draco was silent, focusing on something behind her head. "Draco," she said carefully, pulling his face so he was looking at her again. "I'll be with you the whole time. But, if you need to skip it, I'll understand."

Draco took a deep breath and started rubbing his hands up and down her arms. "I'll go. You said I did - or, do." He gave her a small smile.

She returned it while shaking her head. "We're not supposed to make decisions because we know it happens that way in the future. You don't have to do this, Draco."

" _But I really, really want you to, because I think it will be good for both of us. And I don't want to go alone"_ she added silently in her head.

"I'll go, but you can't leave me alone," he looked embarrassed by this request and she leaned in to hug him, then apparated them straight to Hogsmeade.

When they got to the castle, Hermione almost reached for Draco's hand, but caught herself. He'd seen her flinch and was looking at her curiously.

"Uh, I know we're not dating in your time, so maybe you're not comfortable, but, well, I can hold your hand, if it helps and isn't too weird."

He pulled her to his side and kissed her temple, then linked his hand with hers and smiled. "I like you, Hermione. I just haven't worked up the courage to tell you yet. So yes. I'd very much like to hold your hand."

She nodded. "Good, because it was more for me than you anyway."

He gave her a sad, knowing smile, then cocked his head toward the doors which were currently propped open. "Ready?"

"Not really. But, well, let's go."

Hermione was pleased to find that the glares that had been directed at them last year were mostly gone. She guessed people had gotten more used to seeing them together and was glad, because it would have been a lot for this Draco to handle on his first visit back to Hogwarts since the Final Battle.

After an hour, Draco excused himself to the loo and when he hadn't returned in fifteen minutes, Hermione went looking for him. He was easy to find, leaning against the wall in the first hallway off the Entrance Hall.

"Sorry. I needed a minute," he said when he saw her appear in the hall.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," she said as she approached him, "but I can leave you alone. I don't want to hover." Hermione was about to turn away when Draco caught her arm.

"No, uh, actually, can I ask a favor?"

"Of course. Anything."

Several moments later, they were sitting at the top of the Astronomy Tower with their backs against the ramparts. Hermione had heard so much about the night Dumbledore died from both Harry and Draco's perspectives by now, that she could almost picture the scene in her mind, as if it was one of her own memories.

"I came here almost every night in my seventh year, wondering where it had all gone wrong for me."

She nodded, keeping her gaze forward. "I know. You've told me."

She saw him nod out of the corner of her eye. "When I last spoke about the past with you, at our Honeymoon, you said you hadn't discussed the war with your Draco."

Hermione smiled at the memory. It seemed ridiculous now that they'd gone so long without talking about it, but she figured their relationship timeline had always been a bit odd. She turned to Draco and grabbed his hand with both of hers. "We've since talked through everything in excruciating detail."

His head was still resting against the wall and he turned it slightly to look at her before smiling. "I'm glad. Though it sounds painful, the way you just described it."

She nodded and went to lean her head against the wall too, keeping her grip on his hand. "It was, but it was also very good for us."

They were quiet for awhile, then he asked, "How are you doing, Hermione? I feel like we've been overly focused on me today." He squeezed her hand and she felt a warmth flow through her chest at his unexpected, caring question.

"I - well, I'm fine. Thanks for asking. It's different for me, than it is for you and Harry and Ron. I came back for school the year after the war, and I learned to get used to Hogwarts in the aftermath. So, it's less jarring when I come back here."

"But-" she cut off and changed her mind about voicing her next thought, but he was looking over at her now.

"Tell me," Draco said as he nudged her to continue.

"All my memories here of us are bad, save one. That part - that part is hard."

She saw sadness and guilt swimming in his eyes and he seemed to be at a loss for words. "I'm sorry," he whispered, and she nodded back at him sadly.

When he pressed his back against the wall again, she sidled close to him and laid her head on his shoulder.

"I have a confession," he said, after a few moments of silence.

"Hmm?" she hummed, keeping her head on his shoulder.

"I think I'm falling in love with you," he said so softly she almost didn't hear him.

Her heart stopped and she listened to the rise of fall of his breaths for a few seconds before asking, "Me? Or the Hermione from your time?"

She held her breath as she waited for his response and even the wind around them seemed to calm. He pushed her up and when he turned to face her, the look of adoration in his eyes confirmed the sincerity of his words, but she still didn't know which Hermione this look was for.

"You're the same," he said, as if it was the simplest concept and she was a little stupid for not understanding it. "I know I thought differently, a few months ago, but the more I get to know you, the clearer it is. I can't love one of you without loving all the other versions." He raised his hand to her cheek and began stroking it with his thumb.

She closed her eyes and a few tears fell down her face and he quickly brushed them away. "You figured that out a lot quicker than I did," she admitted.

When she opened her eyes again, he was smirking at her. "Well, you can't be best at everything."

* * *

They were stopped by Lucius as they made their way back to the Great Hall.

"Draco, I need a word. Alone," he added, directing a hateful sneer at Hermione.

"No," Hermione said simply as she pulled Draco back to the Great Hall.

"My son can speak for himself, Miss Granger."

"It's Mrs. Granger-Malfoy. You were at the wedding," she snapped back.

"Yes. I had the pleasure of attending," Lucius drawled back at her. Then he stepped closer to Draco and studied him carefully. "You're not from this time." He didn't say it as a question.

Draco straightened his spine and nodded.

"Never mind then," Lucius turned away from them and was gone as swiftly as he'd appeared.

"What was that about?" Draco asked, looking concerned and a little hurt.

Hermione shook her head. "It's very complicated, but, well, we're not on good terms with him." That was a huge understatement, but she didn't want to scare this Draco by mentioning the obliviations. She still didn't really know what Lucius was up to, so it wasn't something she'd be able to explain properly anyway.

"I see," he said. He still looked disturbed, but then he squeezed the hand that was holding hers and forced a smile on his face. "Ready to go back?"

* * *

_Present Time: May 2005 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Harry Potter **

There was a soft knock on Harry's office door and he was confused as he checked the clock. Had he missed a meeting? He looked down at his calendar. No, the morning was clear. He stood up and was surprised to find Malfoy on the other side of the door.

"Our check-in isn't until next month. And I've already told you, you don't need to actually come in for those. Especially since I go to your house all the time. I can just count those visits."

"I'm not here for a check-in," Malfoy said somberly, as he let himself into the office and sat in one of the chairs in front of Harry's desk. Malfoy looked upset and Harry wondered if something else had happened with Lucius. It must be serious if it made him come all the way here. Malfoy hated walking through the Ministry since most people here still regarded him as a criminal.

Harry closed the door and sat back behind his desk, then waited for Malfoy to tell him why he was here.

"I went to Hogwarts a few days ago," Malfoy said simply and Harry nodded. They had all gone to Hogwarts last week for the Anniversary of the Final Battle. However, that hadn't been this Malfoy. That one had been from 2002. The meaning of Malfoy's words hit Harry. This was the Malfoy he'd met all those years ago. The one who had tripped his trace alarm and sat with him on the top of the Astronomy Tower and had apologized for his role in Dumbledore's death.

Harry nodded again, unsure what he was meant to say. "I remember," was all he came up with and Malfoy stared back at him seriously.

Harry wasn't sure if Malfoy wanted to say more, so he just watched him and waited patiently. Malfoy was extremely comfortable with uneasy silences like this, while Harry hated them. Though he'd gotten more used to them since befriending Malfoy, and it was a useful skill to have as an Auror, since some people offered up valuable information while trying to fill awkward silences.

"I meant what I said, and I should have told you sooner. I've been thinking it for a year."

Harry shrugged. "From my perspective, you told me years ago. And I forgave you that day, even though I didn't tell you at the time."

Malfoy gave him a sad smile. "You are such a better wizard than me, and I hate that about you."

Harry's eyes flashed with amusement. "Well, you're not the prat I'd convinced myself you were, and that's something I hate about you."

Malfoy stood and reached his hand across the desk. "I guess I should let you get back to work. The Wizarding World isn't going to save itself."

Harry rolled his eyes as he stood up and shook Malfoy's hand firmly. He went to get the door for him, but stopped before opening it. "Why did you come here?"

Malfoy looked uncomfortable and his eyes were on the floor when he answered Harry. "I wanted you to know the sentiment was real, and me, and not just a fluke resulting from all this time travel. I didn't apologize because you'd only just found out about me and I needed your help, and I didn't say it because I was feeling sentimental since it was the Anniversary in my time."

Harry didn't know what to say and before he'd decided on something, Malfoy opened the door and nearly ran out. He looked back at Harry when he reached the lift and smirked at him, then motioned for Harry to go back inside his office. "Slytherins," Harry muttered under his breath as he closed the door and returned to work.

* * *

** Ron Weasley **

There was something going on with Harry today, Ron was sure of it. First, Malfoy had come by this morning, but he'd been in Harry's office for less than ten minutes. Then an hour later, Robards had stopped by, followed almost immediately by Kingsley. Were all the visits related? Ron wondered for the millionth time what Malfoy's big secret was.

He was at Grimmauld Place with Harry now, waiting for Hermione to arrive so they could go to dinner. He considered asking Harry what was going on now, but didn't know how long Hermione would be and wasn't sure if it was something he'd tell Ron with her around. Though she may already know, since it seemed to involve her husband.

"Where is she?" Ron said as his stomach grumbled. Hermione was late again.

"Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to."

"There's no way they're shagging. It's a random Wednesday and we all just got off work."

Harry smirked at him. "I used to shag on random Wednesdays, then I had a kid." As if on cue, James screamed from upstairs.

"I don't want to hear anything else about you shagging my sister," Ron snapped back, and luckily Hermione emerged from the flames before Harry could say more.

Ron fixed Hermione with a stern glare and crossed his arms. "You're late. Again. Where were you?"

"Shagging," Hermione responded matter-of-factly.

Ron's mouth dropped open and Harry burst into laughter. "Bloody hell, Hermione!" Ron exclaimed. "You're supposed to come up with a stupid excuse. Like, you were combing Crooks and lost track of time."

"Oh, right. That's what I was doing. You got me."

Ron huffed and looked to Harry for support, but Harry's expression was serious now and his mind was clearly elsewhere.

"Shall we go?" Hermione asked, motioning toward the fire.

Ron was about to agree, since he was starving, when Harry cut in, "I need to talk to you two, before we go out in public."

He turned to Hermione and said in what Ginny referred to as his "Auror voice," "Hermione, it's time to tell Ron."

Ron perked up at that, completely forgetting his hunger while Hermione shook her head.

"Robards is retiring and Kingsley is going to make me head of the department," Harry continued. A small wave of jealousy washed over Ron, but he took a deep breath and let it pass, reminding himself that Harry deserved this.

"That's excellent, Harry!" Hermione said quickly and Ron nodded along when he saw that Harry was looking at him warily.

"I don't know. I think I'm too young. And the timing isn't great with another baby on the way-"

"Stop that," Ron cut in. "You're the best person for the job. You'll do great," he added with an encouraging smile.

"Thanks," Harry blushed and looked back at Hermione. "So I'll have to transfer all my current cases, including the Death Eaters still on suspension from the war. I want to transfer the Malfoys to Ron. So, I think you understand why he needs to know."

Hermione was biting her lip and Ron was extremely curious now. He was finally going to learn Malfoy's secret. "I understand," Hermione said eventually and looked over at Ron with a nervous expression.

"Why are you looking at me like that? You know I'm trustworthy."

"It's not that, Ron. I'd trust you with my life. It's just, well, it's still not really my secret to tell."

"You're married," Ron argued. "So, didn't his stuff become yours?" Parvati made this argument to Ron all the time.

"I guess…" Hermione's voice trailed off as she took a seat on the couch and Ron went to sit next to her as Harry took the spot on her other side. "I mean, Harry's right, there's no other Auror I would trust, and whoever manages their case needs to know…"

"Just tell me, Hermione." Ron nudged her and she smiled back at him.

"Yeah, okay. I mean, I'm sure he'd prefer me to tell you than have to do it himself, anyway. Are you ready for a crazy story?"

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

After Draco got back from the Ministry he took a shower, even though he'd taken one earlier that morning, then he went to work on investments for his third non-profit company. This organization had reached out to him after word got out that there was a surprisingly talented investment manager / ex-Death Eater who was willing to work for almost no money.

He wondered if word had gotten back to his father about his new job, then he pushed the thought from his mind. He had no idea what was going on there, but he was pretty sure his father had been telling the truth when he said there were no curses in place to keep him and Hermione from having kids. That didn't get them any closer to figuring out what was going on with him, though.

Draco's day was quiet and productive, and he even convinced Hermione to have sex with him before she went off to her weekly Golden Trio dinner, which had turned the day from good to excellent. He was reading while Crookshanks glared at him from the other chair when Hermione returned from dinner much earlier than expected.

She looked guilty and Draco put down his book and sighed. What had she signed him up for now? Regular drinks with Weasley and Potter? Weren't weekly dinners at Grimmauld Place and frequent visits to the Burrow enough? After they factored in weekly drinks at Nott Manor and dinner at her parents, they'd never have time alone.

"What did you do?" he asked warily, and she climbed onto the couch with him and linked her fingers behind his neck.

"You're so handsome. Have I ever told you that?"

Draco rolled his eyes but couldn't help smirking. "Subtle, Hermione."

"And you're very good in bed," she continued, rubbing his neck with her thumbs.

"Now I'm worried. Tell me what you did."

"Promise not to be angry."

"No. Now go on."

She sighed. "Ron knows about the time travel. And he'll be taking over your case from Harry."

That was the last thing he expected her to say. Draco shifted her off his lap and started pacing the room. Why had Potter transferred him? Did it have anything to do with their talk that morning? Draco thought that had gone well.

"Harry's getting promoted and will have to transfer all his active cases. And Ron is the best choice, so there really was no other option," Hermione explained.

Draco stopped and sighed in relief. Oh, so Potter wasn't punishing him. He was just getting promoted. That made sense, and Hermione was right. Weasley was the best alternative. He wasn't close with him, but he thought he could trust him. He wondered if Weasley would take over his father's case too.

"So what's the verdict? Are you cross with me? I assumed you'd want me to tell him instead of having to do it yourself."

Draco went to the chair and sat back down, then shifted her back onto his lap. "I am extremely cross and am going to need you to tell me more about how handsome and amazing in bed I am."

Hermione pushed him, then kissed his neck and he pulled her close, as he thought more about Weasley. He would have to meet with him soon and catch him up on what was going on with his father. He'd have to ask Hermione how much she'd told him so far but figured that could wait until later.

"This just leaves Blaise and Daphne," she said, and he could feel her warm breath on his neck. "Why haven't we already told them?"

Draco sighed. "At first, I was so nervous about it getting out, since I didn't want to become a big public spectacle, or come under scrutiny from the Auror office. And I wasn't as close with my friends as I am now so I didn't trust them. But we should tell them. I know they can keep the secret."

"They're going to be livid. Especially once they find out how long Theo has known."

Draco sighed. "Yes, we should do it without Theo there. He'll be way too smug about it."

"Oh, how about Friday? Theo has another date with Bennett and we can invite Daphne and Blaise here for dinner."

Draco nodded. "Daphne's going to be devastated."

"I'll make sure there's Champagne."

"And what are you going to do for Blaise? Invite a slag?" Draco teased.

"He won't need a slag with a drunk Daphne." Her eyes widened in horror and she slapped her hand over her mouth, while Draco laughed loudly.

"That was an awful thing to say!" Hermione exclaimed in between Draco's laughter.

"I know. It's the exact kind of thing I would say," Draco responded, once he'd finally stopped laughing. "You know," he bent to give her a kiss on her cheek, which was still flushed from her previous embarrassment. "I think we may be turning into the other, a bit.

"What a disturbing thought," she replied with a frown that didn't match the twinkle of amusement in her eyes.

* * *

** Daphne Greengrass **

"Are we here to discuss Theo dating a Hufflepuff?" Daphne asked as they settled down at the table.

"A gay Hufflepuff," Blaise snorted. "It's almost too perfect."

"You need to stop calling gay people Hufflepuffs, Blaise," Hermione cut in as she added some salad to her plate. "And no, that's not what this is about."

"Which of these dishes did Draco cook?" Daphne asked as she examined the food on the table.

He flipped her off from across the table as Hermione answered, "Just the soup and salad, and I oversaw both, so there's no risk of anyone getting poisoned tonight."

Daphne avoided those two items anyway, just in case, and stuck with the pasta instead. "I always thought that if we were going to admit another house into our exclusive group, it would have been Ravenclaw," Blaise drawled before taking a sip of wine.

Hermione huffed and Daphne could tell she was extremely nervous. If this strange dinner wasn't about Theo, then what was it? Daphne put her fork down and turned to Hermione, but before she could speak Hermione said in a high-pitched voice, "Right, well, speaking of letting people into an exclusive group-"

"That's your segue?" Draco hissed, cutting Hermione off.

"Do you have a better one?" Hermione whispered back. "Maybe something with time? Look at the time...speaking of time…"

"Why does there need to be a segue at all? Just come out and say it."

Daphne and Blaise looked at each other with amused expressions. "Yes, please," Blaise said in a bored tone, "just come out and say it."

Draco nodded and turned away from Hermione to face Blaise and Daphne. "I inadvertently turned myself into a human time turner and now I jump around in time randomly, and have been doing so for four years."

Daphne put her glass down and Blaise raised his eyebrow before saying, "Prove it."

Draco thought for a second, then shook his head. "I don't have any details about your future. But this is the reason I forget things and the reason I sometimes act strange or look different. It's because that Draco is from another time."

"Who else knows?" Daphne asked.

She saw Draco and Hermione share guilty looks and Daphne turned to glare at Hermione, since she knew Hermione would crack first. She was right. In a few seconds Hermione cringed and said into her lap, "Everyone else knows."

"Define everyone," Daphne said coldly.

"Harry found out first, because Draco needed help with the Auror's office. Then it was," she paused, then continued in a rush, "Theo, right around our wedding."

"Theo!?" Daphne exclaimed and Hermione finally looked up at her.

"It's a long story, but he witnessed one of the jumps. Then I told Ginny around this past Christmas, because she met a past Draco and knew something was wrong. And, well, Ron found out a few days ago."

Blaise whistled. "So you really meant it when you said you told everyone before us."

That's when Daphne lost it. She got up and threw her napkin on the table, then ran to the hall bathroom and locked herself inside.

She sat on the floor, which in another bathroom would be disgusting, but this was Hermione's house, and she was obsessive about cleaning. It was too bad she didn't approve of house elves. Daphne leaned her head against the door and took several deep breaths.

She had that awful feeling of being left out that she hated so much. Like the times in Hogwarts when the older Slytherin girls told her she was too scrawny and dull to be worth their time. Or when her mother and Astoria talked about married life. Or when Draco told Daphne about some dinner spent at the Potters'. Or when she saw Theo and Hermione bonding over working at the Ministry.

There was a soft knock on the other side of the door and Daphne almost lifted her wand to add a silencing charm, since she didn't want to hear Hermione's excuses right now, but it was Draco's voice on the other side. "Daphne, I am so sorry. I should have told you ages ago."

Daphne didn't say anything, but she also didn't put the silencing charm up. Instead, she pulled her legs to her chest and bent her forehead on her knees. In a few moments, two bubble animals appeared in front of her. Draco must have sent them from through the crack under the door. She'd told him once that she and Astoria used to do this when they were younger and had been locked in their rooms as punishment.

One was a cat that was stretching elaborately, like cats did when they first woke up, and the other was a rabbit that was bouncing along on the air. Daphne's lips turned up when a third animal appeared; a peacock. It opened its feathers and the rabbit bounced out of sight until it popped, but the cat seemed unimpressed.

"Did the other animals flee in terror?" Draco asked from the other side of the door. "Peacocks are nasty creatures."

Daphne shook her head. Draco said he'd been afraid of peacocks as a child, which was really funny to imagine. "The rabbit popped at the sight of such a horrifying creature," Daphne responded.

She heard Draco sigh on the other side. "Do you want me to send more animals your way, or do you want to talk?"

Daphne wondered if she chose the animals how many he'd make before giving up on her. Draco was stubborn, and she thought he'd fill this whole room with bubbles if she let him. "Tell me about some of the times I was with another Draco," she said eventually.

"Okay. The ski chalet, when I was sick. I time jumped to my birthday party from last year. So, the Draco in Switzerland was the 24-year-old who was married to Hermione and the Draco at the birthday party was the one from the past, who was still dating Astoria."

"And that's why you said you were sick and never left your room?"

"Yes."

"Tell me another."

"Um, my wedding. I time jumped to the Halloween Ball, several months before. The Draco who married Hermione was the one from the ball, who had just recently proposed to her. And the Draco that was about to marry Hermione joined her at the ball that night instead."

Daphne sighed and stretched her legs in front of her and leaned her head against the door again. "Why didn't you ever tell me? Especially at the beginning? You didn't trust me?"

"No, Daphne. I was scared, at first. Then when I found out I was married to Hermione, I was embarrassed. And you know me. I've always been awful at opening up to people. It wasn't until recently that I started telling Hermione everything on my mind. I promise this isn't any failing of yours. It's just me being stupid and closed off."

Daphne nodded and wanted so badly to believe him, but couldn't easily forget that long list of people he'd told before her.

"Please come out, Daphne," he continued. "I want to tell you the whole story now, and it's very good. I think you'll like it. It's almost as good as those soap operas you like watching on the telly. There's romance, and mystery. Evil twins, of sorts, and even unexplained amnesia."

When Daphne opened the door a few seconds later, it wasn't because of the draw of Draco's fascinating tale. When he'd been talking, she'd heard the fear in his voice and wanted to be there to support him, even though he'd hurt her feelings.

"Has anyone come back from the dead or accidentally fallen in love with a sibling?" she asked once she saw him.

He smiled, but she could see a hint of worry and uncertainty in his eyes. She realized then that it had been there for years, and she'd missed it, or assigned it to some other cause. It was all related to this time travel. "None of that yet," Draco responded. "but the story's not over."

He looked at her tentatively, then pulled her into a hug and she felt him relax when she wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you," he whispered, then said a little louder, "Now come on. It's time my best friend finally heard about all this."

Daphne pushed back and cocked her head. "Are you sure I'm still your best friend? It's not Theo, now? I know he spends all that time with you two at the Grangers'." Daphne couldn't believe that lovable idiot had wormed his way into being Draco's best friend.

Draco cringed. "Theo? Of course not. Nobody likes Theo. Theo doesn't even like Theo."

"Hermione likes Theo," Daphne pointed out.

"She likes house elves, and Weasleys, and Crookshanks. And, well, me. I wouldn't trust her judgement."

Daphne smiled and he wrapped his arm around her and walked them back toward the dining room.

"What about Potter? You've been spending a lot of time with him."

"Fuck no. He's way too nice. I feel like shite every time I'm with him. I do not have that problem when I'm around you."

She hit his side but was smiling.

When they got back to the table Hermione looked up from her plate and started in on what Daphne guessed was some long speech she'd been planning for days. "I'm so sorry, Daphne. I just want you to know-"

"It's fine, Hermione. You can tell me the speech later. Or better yet, owl it to me." Blaise snorted but Daphne kept her eyes on Hermione. She looked hurt, but Daphne wasn't ready to forgive her.

Draco placed a comforting hand on Hermione's shoulder before taking his seat, then he summoned a bottle of Champagne to the table and smiled at Daphne. "I got your favorite, since I knew you'd be upset."

"The ridiculously expensive kind, that you think is too dry?" Daphne asked as she bent to read the label.

"None other," Draco said as he opened it and poured a glass, then handed it to her. He gave Blaise a curt nod before starting in on his story.

A few minutes into Draco's explanation, Daphne felt a hand on her leg. She expected it from Hermione, who was sitting on her right and was still looking at her worriedly, but it was on her left leg and larger than a witch's hand. Daphne turned and saw Blaise looking at her concerned.

" _Are you okay?"_ he asked her with his eyes, and she gave him a quick nod, but he didn't take his hand away and she didn't brush it off. Instead she linked her fingers into his and he squeezed her hand before they both turned their attention back to Draco.

* * *

_Present Time: June 2005 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Lucius Malfoy **

"Fuck!"

"Language, Draco."

Lucius winced when he saw Draco rubbing the back of his head. He hadn't meant to slam him that hard against the wall. He was out of practice when it came to cornering people in dark alleys.

"I've heard you swear one or two times during an attack," Draco snapped back at him.

Lucius rolled his eyes. "This is hardly an attack."

"Is that why you threw me against a wall and took my wand?"

"I'm not going to hurt you, Draco. I just need to talk to you and this is the only way I could get you to listen."

Draco straightened and crossed his arms and Lucius saw him staring at his wand in Lucius' hand. Lucius tightened his grip on it. "The wards around your house are ridiculous. What on earth is your wife trying to keep out?" Draco didn't answer. "Or is it more a question of who she's trying to keep in?"

Draco scoffed. "She's not keeping me prisoner, Father. She's my wife, and I don't need to remind you why she'd be a little paranoid about protecting herself and her loved ones."

"Loved ones…" Lucius let the words hang in the air. "You consider yourself on that list?"

Draco glared at him. "Tell me what you came to say, Father."

"Where did we meet for lunch a few months ago?" Lucius asked quickly.

"The Silver Goblet," Draco answered without hesitation.

"And which Quidditch player broke their leg this past weekend?"

"Faust fell off his broom."

"And the goblins, what project are they working on now?"

There was a flicker of something in Draco's eyes at that question, but it was gone before Lucius could place it. His son sighed heavily before answering, "A branch of Gringotts in Scotland. Are you satisfied that I'm from this time?"

Lucius nodded. "One more question, then I'll let you go. What did we discuss at your wedding?"

Draco's eyes were blank for a moment, then they flashed with confusion, then, surprisingly, anger. He took a step closer to Lucius, but Lucius stood his ground. "What is this? What are you doing here? Are you checking your work?"

"Answer the question, Draco," Lucius said sternly.

"You know I can't," Draco snarled and before Lucius could say anything else - Draco's wand flew out of his hand and Draco disapparated as soon as he caught it.

Lucius leaned against the wall and stared at the spot his son had occupied just moments before. He didn't remember. Just as Lucius had feared. At first, he'd thought Draco's odd memory lapses were a byproduct of the time jumping, but this Draco lived in this time. He should have been informed about his future multiple times, but he was completely unaware.

Lucius had seen the unmistakable blankness in his eyes. Draco couldn't have invented that. And what had he said? _"Are you checking your work?"_

He thought Lucius was the one who'd taken the memory. But - Lucius swore and kicked the wall hard, which was stupid since all that did was make his leg hurt.

It was the girl. She'd done this. That was the only explanation. A fiery hatred began to rise in him, stronger than he'd felt toward any other person in his life. She claimed to love his son, but she'd been manipulating him this entire time, and Lucius had missed it. He'd been a fool, but there was still time to expose her, and maybe, he could get Draco back on his side.

* * *

_Present Time: February 2001 / Draco's Time: July 2005_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

Draco was watching Hermione from across the table at her favorite café. Even without the hint from the timeline on the wall ( _Draco cheers Hermione up_ ) he could tell there was something wrong. She could barely sit still and kept shifting nervously. Her eyes were sad and it looked like she'd been crying recently. Draco wanted to cry too, since he knew back in his time, something was happening that would make his Hermione unbelievably sad.

Would his father try to corner her? He would have a hard time of it since they'd stopped walking the streets alone and apparated or Floo-ed everywhere, instead. It could be anything that had upset her, but dwelling on it wouldn't help, and it wouldn't help him make this Hermione feel better. Draco tried to focus back on the version of Hermione he _could_ help.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked in a soft voice.

"What?"

"Tell me. What's going on? You seem down."

"That's-" she cut off and looked down at her hands. "That's none of your business."

He stood up and put his coat on. He needed to get out of here, since sitting here was going to make him go mad. "Come on," he said before he had a clear destination in mind.

"What? No."

Draco sighed and rolled his eyes, "You're so stubborn. Just stand up and come with me."

Hermione sank further into her chair and he smiled. She was so cute. "I know you hate being told what to do, but believe me, you'll like this."

"Where are you taking me?"

"It's a surprise." _To you and me_ , he thought to himself, still cycling through ideas in his brain. It was too cold for a trip to the park, so he'd have to do something indoors. But what could they do where they wouldn't be seen? It's not like they could go to their house, since they didn't own it in this time, and he was worried Astoria might be at his flat now. Then it hit him.

Hermione was still sitting and he smiled back at her and returned to his chair. "Fine." He crossed his arms to match her pose and smirked. "We'll just sit here and see which wins out. Your curiosity or stubbornness." He leaned back in his chair, put his hands behind his head and looked back at her teasingly.

Hermione only lasted a few moments before popping up and storming out of the café. Draco took a second before following her, trying once again to regain his composure. _Focus on this Hermione. It's important you impress her so you can get to the future you share with her now. Your wife is safe, and you can help her when you get home._

He joined her outside and apparated them both to Nott Manor, glad for the distraction from whatever was going on in his time.

* * *

_Present Time: July 2005 / Draco's Time: February 2001_

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

Hermione jumped when she walked into her office and saw Lucius sitting in one of the chairs in front of her desk.

"Get out," she said quickly, about to leave and call for help.

He turned to her with a look of absolute loathing but didn't make a move to stand. He was holding his hands in front of him with his palms up. "They took my wand at the entrance since I'm under investigation, which I assume is something you set into motion."

Hermione stayed quiet and Lucius took it as a cue to keep talking.

"I never thought you and Potter would be able to carry on with such a sinister plot, and what was it all for? Was it to punish me for that day in the Department of Mysteries, when Black was killed? Or when you were tortured at the Manor? Or maybe just revenge your friends' deaths?"

Hermione shook her head and closed the door behind her.

"But it's not something you could have planned from the start," he continued. "The time turner accident, that was out of your control. Though I assume when you figured out what had happened, and the idea fell into your lap, you decided to run with it?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Lucius shook his head. "Was it real to start? Was there attraction there, between you and my son? There had to have been, otherwise he never would have revealed his secret. Then what? You lost interest? Or did you see how much you stood to gain as his wife, and how much I stood to lose? Is that when Potter got involved? Was any of this his idea? Like I said, I didn't think a pair of bleeding-heart Gryffindors would have had it in them."

"You're not making any sense. There was no plot. I found out about Draco's time travel and tried to help him research it. Then we fell in love and got married and the entire way, you kept trying to rip us apart. You're the one with the sinister plot. Not me."

Lucius stared at her for a long time. He finally stood up and approached until he was only a few feet away. She gripped her wand tightly in her pocket and maintained his cold glare.

"It took me entirely too long to realize he was forgetting all of our conversations. I blame myself for that."

Hermione noticed her mouth was hanging open and she closed it quickly. "If you really love him, like you claim," Lucius continued, "then why did you keep obliviating him?"

Hermione's eyes widened and she stepped backward, until her back was against the door. "What?" she breathed, shaking her head. "I never...it was _you_."

Lucius finally looked unbalanced and he cocked his head and asked in a low voice, "You don't know either?"

"Know what?" Hermione crossed her arms and straightened her spine and she wondered if the fear she was trying to hide was showing on her face.

Lucius sighed and sat back down and motioned for Hermione to do the same. "Have a seat, girl. I guess I should start at the beginning."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh good, we're finally going to figure out what's been going on with Lucius! I hope you liked the rest of the chapter. I especially liked the Draco/Daphne part. So cute. The other end of the first time jump was in chapter 15 and the other end of the last time jump was in chapters 8 and 9.
> 
> Thanks as always to my beta readers Lancashire Witch and Kimmeh B. Come visit me on Tumblr (Alexandra-Emerson) for more content related to this story.
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Tue, Jan-5.


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

_Do you know what it is like,_

_to lie in bed awake;_

_with thoughts to haunt_

_you every night,_

_of all your past mistakes._

_Knowing sleep would set it right –_

_if you were not to wake._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: July 2005 / Draco's Time:February 2001_

* * *

** Lucius Malfoy **

Hermione was staring back at Lucius boldly. He had to admit that, although she wasn't especially beautiful or poised, she was impressive, and he could see why Draco had been drawn to her.

"You're not making any sense," she bit back. "There was no plot. I found out about Draco's time travel and tried to help him research it. Then we fell in love and got married and the entire way you kept trying to rip us apart. You're the one with the sinister plot, not me."

Lucius had expected her to deny his accusation, but he hadn't expected her to do it so convincingly. He'd worked with her for years now and knew her well, and while she was clever, powerful, and ambitious, she'd never been a good liar. That was why Lucius had come here, since he wanted to prove his suspicions were correct before he made his next move.

Lucius stood up and approached her so he could see her eyes clearly. She may be able to lie with her face, but few people were able to keep the truth from flashing in their eyes. "It took me entirely too long to realize he was forgetting all of our conversations. I blame myself for that. If you really love him, like you claim, then why did you keep obliviating him?"

Hermione's eyes widened and she backed away from Lucius. "What?" she breathed, shaking her head. "I never...it was _you_."

Lucius faltered. Unless this witch had suddenly gotten incredibly good at deception, she was telling the truth. But how was that possible? "You don't know either?"

"Know what?" Hermione crossed her arms and straightened her spine, but she couldn't hide the fear swimming in her large, brown eyes.

Lucius sighed and sat back down, then motioned for Hermione to do the same. "Have a seat, girl. I guess I should start at the beginning."

Hermione stayed in place and glared at Lucius. "I'll stay here. Now tell me what you're talking about."

Lucius rolled his eyes. How could Draco stand such an insolent wife? He stayed in his spot and stretched his legs out and sighed before turning back to her. "You don't know what happens at the end of the time loop, do you?"

"I already told you I don't. Thanks to you."

Lucius took a deep breath. "Miss Granger-"

"Granger-Malfoy," she corrected harshly.

"Hermione, then." Lucius would never call her by that ridiculous, hyphenated surname.

"Fine."

"Hermione," Lucius restarted and studied her face as he said, "when Draco takes his last time jump, he'll appear at the Manor in the middle of an explosion of dark artifacts, and he-" Lucius cut off and took a deep breath. "He'll die."

The shock on her face was undeniable and she looked as devastated as Lucius felt every time he remembered that day. He was sure now that she hadn't known about Draco's fate.

He motioned toward her chair. "Have a seat, Hermione, and I'll tell you the rest of the story."

* * *

_Present Time: January 2000 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Lucius Malfoy **

The wind was howling loudly outside, in stark contrast to the easy silence that had settled into the parlor as Lucius and Draco worked through the last of the Manor's dark artifacts. Lucius mostly hated these sessions, since they were tedious and a large waste of time, but he knew it was a good idea to try and garner favor with the Auror Office whenever he could.

One good thing was he got to spend a lot of time alone with Draco. He'd miss these meetings when they were done and was trying to think of something they could replace them with. Maybe regular lunches to discuss politics, or even finances, which Draco seemed to have a knack for.

He looked over at his son and saw him studying a time turner. Lucius smirked to himself. Young people were so fascinated by time travel. Lucius had seen enough of the world to know that history repeated itself with or without the aid of a time turner, and those were dangerous devices, anyway. It would be good to get it out of the house.

"Considering time travel?" he asked Draco.

Draco shook his head but kept his eyes on the object in his hand. "Which way is backward?" Draco asked.

Lucius looked over and saw Draco turn the small hourglass forward one turn. "The other-" Lucius started to say but was interrupted by the loud slam of the window opening.

A gust of wind rushed into the room and knocked a number of artifacts onto the ground. Within seconds, a large black hole had appeared in the center of the room and the force of it caused all the nearby glass to shatter. Lucius threw himself to the ground and saw Draco duck just in time to avoid a large shard of glass that was swirling through the air. Thank Merlin for those Quidditch reflexes.

Lucius needed to neutralize whatever object had caused the black hole to appear before he and Draco were hit with something. He looked for his wand and saw it just out of reach. He lunged for it, but before his fingers touched the handle, he was pushed out of the way and his head slammed hard against the floor and he was knocked out.

* * *

_Present Time: January 2000 / Draco's Time: March 2006_

* * *

** Lucius Malfoy **

When Lucius regained consciousness, he was under a desk with Draco lying next to him. The black hole was gone and the room was silent except for the banging of the still-open window. Lucius closed it with a flick of his wand and crouched next to Draco.

"Draco," Lucius turned him so he was facing up and pulled his hands back in alarm, horrified to find them covered in blood. He moved the desk across the room so he could see better, and saw a large shard of glass protruding from Draco's left side.

Lucius swore loudly and quickly got to work on healing Draco's injuries. He vanished the glass and closed the wound as fast as he could, then checked Draco's pulse. Nothing. He pried his eyes open and saw the grey irises, so similar to his own, with one exception. They were completely devoid of life.

"No!" He picked his son up and rushed to the nearest bedroom a few doors down, then carefully laid him on the bed. That's when he noticed the differences between this Draco and the one he'd been talking to just moments before. This one was wearing different clothes, and he looked older. There were lines around his eyes and mouth that Lucius was sure hadn't been there before.

Lucius shook his head and raised his wand and ran every diagnostic spell he could remember, but every result came back the same. His son was dead.

Lucius had been tortured many times in his life but had never experienced pain like this. _Draco is gone._ He threw the words out of his mind as violently as he would any intruder, but no amount of Occlumency was going to fix this. Lucius could deny the thought as much as he liked, but it wouldn't change the truth. Draco would never open his eyes again.

Lucius heard a sound down the hall and it took his brain a second to place it. His heart dropped out of his chest. _Narcissa._ How could he possibly explain?

He rose and forced himself down the hall to the drawing room, trying (and failing at first) to clean the blood off his hands and robes. He couldn't let her see that first thing. He would have to break it to her slowly, but when she turned toward him, smiling, the words didn't come.

She dropped her smile as soon as she got a good look at him. "Lucius. What is it? You look awful."

"Narcissa, darling…" but he couldn't say anything else.

She approached him but stopped short. "What happened? I can feel dark magic on you," she gave him an accusing glare.

"There was an accident," Lucius said weakly.

* * *

_Present Time: January 2000 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Lucius Malfoy **

"Where's Draco?" Narcissa rushed toward the parlor and Lucius didn't have the energy to stop her. She hitched her breath when she saw the room and looked back at Lucius. "Tell me where he is."

Lucius shook his head and motioned toward the bedroom two doors down. She rushed in and he followed close behind, trying to work up the strength he knew he'd need to comfort her, but she didn't scream, as he'd expected. As Lucius approached the room he heard Draco's voice inside.

"Mother? What happened?"

She muttered something and when Lucius got to the doorway he saw her running diagnostic spells, but unlike his spells, hers showed that Draco was alive and well.

Lucius was completely dumbfounded. What magic was this? How was Draco back from the dead? Was he a ghost? "Father?" Lucius had thought he'd never hear Draco say that word again.

Lucius approached the bed carefully, feeling the air for Dark Magic, but there was nothing coming off of Draco, and he certainly wasn't a ghost. He was in different clothes, he looked young again, and he wasn't covered in blood. Lucius employed Occlumency to hide his confusion.

"You're, uh, okay?" Draco asked his father tentatively.

His father responded with a curt nod. "You pushed me out of the way. I'm fine."

"I don't remember that…" Draco trailed off.

 _Because it wasn't you,_ the thought popped into Lucius' head, but he wasn't sure exactly what it meant. "It's fine. You're fine now," Narcissa said as she stood up.

Lucius took her spot on the bed and studied Draco carefully. It was him, his son, and he was alive, but Lucius had no idea how.

Lucius visited the pensieve over twenty times that night, and although seeing Draco dead again and again was tearing his heart apart, he kept going back until he had a clear picture of what had happened.

From the alternate view of the pensieve he was finally able to piece it all together. Draco had been turning the time turner forward and it broke in his hand once the black hole appeared. Then Draco blinked out and was replaced by another version of himself.

He lunged at Lucius to push him out of the way. That's when the memory went black, but it wasn't difficult to piece together the rest.

The glass meant for Lucius must have hit Draco instead. Draco summoned the desk to cover Lucius and neutralized the dark artifact before passing out.

 _Not passing out, dying_ , he corrected in his mind before dropping his head and crying. Lucius couldn't remember the last time he'd cried like this. Maybe as a boy, though certainly not since coming of age, but he didn't care about maintaining his composure right now.

He looked at the piece of time turner on the desk that he'd found in the rubble before ordering the house elves to clean the parlor. He took deep, steadying breaths as he focused on it. Hope was not lost. This was the magical world, after all, and he'd seen incredible things in his lifetime.

This was a world where the Dark Lord had made himself immortal, and an unremarkable boy like Harry Potter had survived the killing curse not once, but twice. In a world like that, couldn't Draco find a way to cheat death?

Lucius had counted the turns of the time turner before it shattered - just over six. So he guessed Draco had gone forward six years and the man he'd been replaced with was from that future. It fit with his appearance, slightly older, but not by much.

It made no sense, logically, but Lucius could sort out the 'whys' later. He was just focused on what had happened now. The Dracos had switched, somehow, and that future Draco had died. Then before Lucius had a chance to tell Narcissa, the dead Draco had gone back to his time and present day Draco had returned.

Draco had died saving Lucius today, but it could still be undone, and Lucius had six years to figure out how.

* * *

_Present Time: November 2001 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Lucius Malfoy **

It took Lucius a year to find the cure to Draco's condition. It would have been easier with Draco's help, but he was closed off after that day at the Manor. Lucius didn't blame him. He'd acted out of instinct when he'd pushed Lucius out of the way. Maybe, if he'd been given time to consider the action first, he wouldn't have chosen to give his life to save his father.

So Lucius kept his distance and studied Draco from afar. Once he discovered an extraction potion, paired with the piece of the time turner he'd taken from the rubble, was enough to remove the spell, it took Lucius another few months to work up the courage to confront Draco about it. Lucius was fairly certain as soon as Draco stopped the time jumps, they would be thrown into an alternate reality where Lucius had died that day in the parlor.

After spending so much time and energy trying to stay alive the past several years, it was alarming to be faced with his imminent death. Even though he knew it was worth it, to save Draco, it didn't make it any easier. Once he finally worked up the courage, he made a plan to discuss the topic with Draco after their check-in with Dawlish, but Draco never showed up.

Lucius went to Draco's flat the next day to find out what had happened. Draco had skipped a lot of their work meetings, but he knew better than to snub the Aurors. Lucius realized a few minutes into his visit that Draco had missed the meeting because he'd been time traveling, but Draco was still hesitant to bring it up directly.

"Are you having trouble keeping track of your time?" he asked Draco gently.

Draco closed his eyes and took a deep breath before finally admitting, "Yes."

"I know, Draco," Lucius replied in a soft voice. Draco looked nervous and was gripping the back of the chair tightly. "Draco, we _must_ end this. Surely you know by now what happens in the future." Lucius' face twisted in disgust at the memory of holding Draco's lifeless body.

"I can't bear it and refuse to let it play out like that, as long as I can help it," Lucius continued, and he was puzzled to find Draco looking ashamed. Did he blame himself for this?

"I can't end this," Draco said quietly, keeping his eyes down.

"Why not? I know how to stop it; we just need to make a simple extraction potion. I have a piece of the broken time turner in my safe."

Draco took a deep breath. He looked back at Lucius and said defiantly, "I want more time."

Lucius was touched. Draco must have been researching too and knew Lucius would die once the time jumps stopped, and he wanted more time with him. "Okay. One thing we still have is time." He saw Draco relax, but added in a harsher voice, more as a reminder for himself than for Draco. "But eventually, you _will_ end this."

* * *

_Present Time: June 2002 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Lucius Malfoy **

Lucius was staring at the _Draco Malfoy_ hand on the family clock, which was currently on the _Travelling_ spot. As soon as it moved there, Lucius had reached out to all his contacts to find out where Draco had gone and within two hours an owl arrived with a response.

He looked back at the note in his hand, but it only raised more questions than it answered. Draco was in Paris with the Granger girl, but why?

Lucius knew they'd been researching time travel together in the Ministry Archives and figured Draco had reached out to her for help with his condition. She was a good choice, since she was incredibly well-connected and brilliant. He knew Draco had hated her in school, but they could have made amends since then. It was impossible to keep up with Draco's life when he kept Lucius at such a distance.

That was another thing that confused Lucius. Draco had claimed he wanted more time with his father, but then he'd completely cut him out of his life. So Lucius must have misinterpreted that conversation. He looked at the note, then it clicked. Lucius stood and threw the letter into the fire.

Draco hadn't been talking about Lucius when he said he wanted more time. He'd been talking about the Mudblood. What did she think of the time loop? Had Draco told her yet, how it would end?

Lucius needed to get closer to the girl, and at this thought, a plan started to form in his mind. The Magical Law Enforcement Liaison position had recently opened up, and although she was a bit young, she was capable and well-regarded. With a few well-placed words, he could probably generate enough buzz to convince Kingsley to put her in that role.

Then all Lucius had to do was convince Arty to finally retire as representative of the Sacred Twenty-Eight. It would be easy with the proper bribe, and Lucius would have an excuse to work closely with the girl. He sat at his desk and started drafting a few letters, glad to finally have a plan.

* * *

_Present Time: October 2002 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Lucius Malfoy **

It was hard to watch Draco twirl that Mudblood around the dance floor. She was prettier, all dressed up, than Lucius had originally thought, but still not good enough for his son. Though it was undeniable that Draco was happier than Lucius had ever seen him. Was it all because of this girl?

It was too bad he'd have to cut it off, and soon. Based on the way Draco was looking at her now, it may already be too late. Lucius could clearly see how this would play out if he didn't act quickly. Draco was having fun with the girl now, but if he waited too long and fell in love with her, he may lose his nerve and never choose to undo the time loop. Lucius knew that love was the most dangerous force in the world and made people do ridiculous things.

He steeled himself before approaching the young couple. "Draco, I need to speak with you. Alone," he added with a glare toward the Mudblood.

Lucius could tell Draco was about to protest, but the girl nodded in encouragement. "Go," she said, "I need to go to the toilet, anyway."

So now she was ordering his son around? He didn't even seem put off by it. This was more serious than Lucius had realized.

They walked quietly to Lucius' study and Draco started talking as soon as Lucius closed the door.

"I know you have a problem with me dating a Muggleborn, but - I - I really like her, and I want to see where this goes."

"You know where this goes," Lucius bit back. "We both know you've seen the future."

Draco straightened his spine and lifted his chin defiantly. "Yes - you're right, it's not worth flying around the truth. I'll end up married to her and we'll be happy together, and I know you don't approve, but I really would appreciate it if you could try to keep an open mind."

Lucius looked back at him incredulously. "Draco - I don't care about the girl. I'd prefer someone else, but she's - inconsequential. There are much more important things to consider here."

"Like what?"

Lucius' face fell and he turned away from his son. Draco didn't know. This whole time Lucius had assumed he knew he would die, but it was clear now. They'd been talking around it, but Lucius had never said the words, had he? How was it possible that he didn't know how it all ended?

When he looked over at Draco, he was eying him curiously. How do you tell your son something like that?

_Quickly and without preamble._

Lucius took a deep breath. "The first day you time jumped, I met your future self."

Draco nodded. "I assumed as much."

"He pushed me out of the way of a flying piece of glass that may have killed me, and I owe him a great debt."

Draco nodded again, and Lucius could tell Draco didn't know what he was about to say next. He approached his son and put a hand on his shoulder. "But in doing so," Lucius continued, "he got in the way of the piece and it hit him and he...he died, Draco."

Draco's eyes widened, then filled with tears and he stepped back, away from Lucius. When his legs hit the chair behind him, he slowly took a seat.

"And then, imagine my surprise when you reappeared an hour later. Younger, and very much alive."

"Bloody hell," Draco swore. "So that's why you want me to stop the jumps."

"You haven't died yet. You can stop them now," Lucius said insistently. "You won't jump back into that danger. You'll live."

"But everything will be different. If I don't do the jumps, I won't end up with Hermione." Draco's voice was shaky and it broke Lucius' heart to see his son like this. He'd thought all the hardships would be over for him once the war had ended.

"You'll find her a different way, in a different timeline. Surely it's not worth your life. Draco, listen to me-"

"No!" Draco was looking at Lucius with a fire in his eyes that reminded Lucius a little of Harry Potter. He stepped back in alarm and Draco looked ashamed. "I'm sorry, Father, but, well, I need time to consider this. Please - please leave me alone."

Lucius wanted to protest, to explain how no witch was worth this, and certainly not a Mudblood, but he feared it may already be too late for that. The fact that Draco hadn't immediately agreed to end this time loop was telling, but he still held out hope.

There was time, and there was the Granger girl to consider. Surely she wouldn't want to saddle herself with a wizard who would die in a few years, especially when it could be prevented. If she really cared about Draco, she'd let him go.

* * *

_Present Time: October 2003 / Draco's Time: April 2004_

* * *

** Lucius Malfoy **

A year passed, and Draco hadn't made any attempt to contact Lucius for the remaining piece of the time turner. When he received an owl with Draco's neat scrawl, Lucius was sure it was finally happening. Draco was ready to end it, but no, he'd been announcing his and Hermione's engagement.

After everything, those two fools were moving forward in this timeline, when they should be committed to breaking it. It was the night of Narcissa's Halloween Ball and Lucius was resolved to talk to Draco again, and urge him again to break the time loop. He saw Hermione talking to Daphne Greengrass, but Draco was nowhere to be seen.

He started searching the Manor and saw Draco coming in from the courtyard. Lucius approached slowly, unsure what type of reception he'd receive, and Draco's eyes softened when he saw him. "Father."

"Draco."

Draco sighed heavily and looked like he held the weight of the world on his shoulders. Lucius was so angry with Hermione for letting it get this far. He'd trusted her to end this relationship once she found out, but if anything, she'd pulled Draco closer and convinced him to shut Lucius out of his life. If she really loved Draco as much as she claimed, she'd let him go.

"Please tell me you're not going to go through with this wedding. Do you know how much harder it's going to be to end this if you're married to her?" Lucius was practically begging now.

"It's not as simple as that, don't you see, Father? It's my life, or her. How can I possibly make that decision?"

"Choose life, Draco," Lucius urged.

"You say it like it's so simple…" Draco's voice trailed off and Lucius placed a comforting hand on his arm. Draco dropped his head onto Lucius' shoulder and Lucius pulled him into an embrace.

"Please, Draco. It will only get harder the longer you wait. We can do it now, if you want."

"No," Draco stood up and backed away from Lucius.

"Draco, please-" but Draco had already turned away and was rushing down the hall, back toward his fiancée.

* * *

_Present Time: March 2004 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Lucius Malfoy **

Lucius grew to hate Hermione Granger more than he'd ever hated anyone in his life. She planned her wedding like any young, happy bride, seemingly unaffected by the news of her future husband's imminent death. Lucius had thought she'd fallen in love with Draco, but it was clear now she had ulterior motives. Maybe she just wanted to be a Malfoy? It wouldn't be the first time someone used deception to woo their way into the family.

Though Draco was clearly in love with her, and the closer he got to her, the farther he got from breaking the time loop.

"I didn't risk my life defying the Dark Lord for nothing, Lucius," Narcissa snapped at him.

"I know that, dear," Lucius sighed in response.

"I did it to save Draco. And why save him, then not let him be happy?"

" _You can't be happy when you're dead,"_ he wanted to bite back, but held his tongue. Narcissa didn't know about any of this, and Lucius had no plans to tell her. How could he explain that it had been his insistence to work on the dark artifacts that had put Draco in danger in the first place? Even worse, that Draco had died to save him? No, this time loop was going to end and she would never have to face her son's death. It would break her.

"I cannot go to that wedding," Lucius repeated.

"You haven't given a good enough reason, Lucius."

"Just trust me, please."

"No. I'm going. You can be there or not, but you will be explaining to everyone why you're not by my side, not me."

Lucius knew when he'd lost. He hadn't been married this long for nothing. Plus, maybe he could try to convince Draco one more time. At the beginning of all this, six years had seemed like such a long time, but the days were going by quicker and quicker and he was no closer to saving his son.

* * *

_Present Time: April 2004 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Lucius Malfoy **

"I need to speak to my son, alone," Lucius said to Theo Nott when he entered the room.

Theo looked back at Draco and they shared a silent moment, then Draco said, "It's okay, Theo. We do need to talk." He glared back at Lucius angrily and it was so at odds with the last time they'd spoken that Lucius stepped back in alarm.

"I don't want to hear it, Father. I know your objection and it doesn't change my mind about her."

"So you'd die for her?"

Draco cocked his eyebrow in confusion and bit back defiantly, "Of course! You'd die for Mother."

"That's different. You don't have to die in this scenario. There's another way. Just stop the time loop and take the potion. Then you'll live and be safe. I know you may lose your precious Mudblood, but you can find each other again, Draco. If you are really as in love and meant for each other as you think, you'll find each other in an alternate timeline."

Draco approached him and stared intently into Lucius' eyes. "You want me to stop the time jumping, to prevent my death?"

There was something strange in Draco's eyes, but Lucius was too distracted by the argument to notice. "Of course. You shouldn't have saved me that day in the parlor in the first place. I'm an old man and have lived a full life, but you haven't."

Draco's eyes went completely blank and he stepped away from Lucius. "That's why you hate her," his voice was flat. "Because she's the reason I'm not stopping this."

Lucius nodded and began studying Draco closer. Was he from a different time? Why was he acting so strangely? "Draco, you need-"

"I can't get married today," he whispered, and Lucius cut off, letting Draco's words hang in the air.

"I have to talk to Hermione," he continued, and Lucius nodded encouragingly. "Can you go?" he turned to Lucius. "I don't have much time."

 _Oh, thank Merlin!_ Draco was finally seeing reason, but although this was what Lucius had wanted the whole time, he couldn't ignore how devastated his son looked right now. He gave him a small pat on the shoulder, then left the room, barely registering Theo in the hall as he rushed past.

He felt so bad for his son and wished he could have it all. This relationship with the Mudblood he seemed so committed to, and a long, healthy life, but he could only pick one and Lucius was glad he was finally making the right choice. It had been a good idea to come to this wedding after all.

Though a few hours later, the Draco at the end of the aisle was happier than Lucius had ever seen, and he knew instantly what had happened. He'd time jumped. Draco had said he didn't have much time, so maybe he knew it was coming. Had he had a chance to talk to Hermione before then?

Even if he hadn't, Lucius could not believe this girl would marry a Draco from a different time. She'd taken advantage of the situation today and was thoroughly manipulating his son. He only hoped that when the other Draco returned, he'd be so angry that he'd choose to break it off with her.

* * *

_Present Time: June 2005 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Lucius Malfoy **

Lucius waited for the fallout after the wedding, but it didn't come. He was so angry with both of them that he cut Draco off from his job and his vaults, hoping that in doing so he'd force Draco to come talk to him, but Draco stayed away; stubborn as always.

A few months later, Draco showed up at the Manor and Lucius assumed Draco had finally figured out Hermione's deception. Narcissa said they were fighting and Lucius hoped it was finally the end, but Draco returned to his wife after just a few days. What kind of pull did she have over him? It was like she was a siren and Lucius began to suspect there was some type of enchantment at play.

Before he could develop a plan to check on his theory, he was notified that he was officially under investigation by the Auror Office. He knew immediately who was behind that. The girl was cleverer than he'd given her credit for, and very well-connected. So Lucius laid low as he thought of a new plan. Then the oddest thing happened, and Draco asked for a meeting.

This was Lucius' last chance to convince his son to see reason, but before he could bring up the subject of the time loop, Draco started talking about children and infertility curses. When Lucius realized the truth, it hit him like a group of bludgers. Draco didn't know.

It wasn't hard to confirm this suspicion. Lucius cornered him on the street a few weeks later and after a few questions, he confirmed that Draco knew nothing about his death. Someone had obliviated him, and there was only one person who could have done it.

Lucius wanted to kill her, and if he could have figured out a way, he would have done it already, but it would be dangerous to act against her. The repercussions of such an act would be catastrophic since she was so well-loved by the Wizarding World and even his wife and son would take her side over Lucius.'

Lucius was still confused about what her motives were. Was it all to get back at Lucius? If so, he thought maybe he could appeal to her directly. He'd give her anything she wanted, political power, every item in his vaults, or even his life. He'd do anything to get her to release his son.

* * *

_Present Time: July 2005 / Draco's Time: February 2001_

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

No, this was a lie. Draco didn't die. That's not how this story would end. Hermione believed that in her core. This was just some scheme of Lucius'. Though he was looking so desperately sad, could that be an act?

Yes, he was evil and dark and knew just which buttons to press to get what he needed. "I don't believe you," Hermione said, crossing her arms in front of her on the desk.

"Do you know Legilimency?"

She was caught off guard by the question, then she remembered that Harry kept a vial of Veritaserum in his office. "No; but wait here."

As soon as she was in the hall she felt better. This was the real world, with people moving up and down the halls. There was a sound of light chatter and she heard someone laugh. In this world, Draco didn't die, he lived a long happy life with her, but it explained so much…

She shook her head and started walking across the floor to the Auror offices. She was trying to invent a reason for needing the potion but was pleased to find Harry's office empty. She retrieved the vial from his bottom drawer and rushed back to her office.

Lucius was sitting in the same spot she'd left him, staring absently at the wall. He didn't react when he saw what she was holding, and she wished she could school her features as well as him right now.

She placed the Veritaserum on the table. "Take a drink and tell me again."

He studied her for a long while, then sat up straight in the chair. "Only if you do the same."

"I'm not hiding anything," Hermione argued.

"Then you won't mind proving it."

She looked at the bottle and sighed. "I will. After you."

He summoned two smaller glasses, then picked up the potion and poured a small amount into each glass. It was about half a mouthful, barely long enough for ten minutes. He clearly knew this potion well. He pushed one of the glasses to her side of the desk. "This will be yours." She nodded.

Lucius emptied his vial and she waited a full minute to make sure the potion had taken effect, before asking her first question. "Does Draco really die?"

"Yes." The word hit her like a dagger in the heart and she slumped against her chair.

"Did you obliviate him?"

"No."

"Why do you hate me?"

His eyes flashed with anger and he regarded her for a second before being forced to answer. "Because you're the reason he won't save himself."

She was out of questions. So she leaned back in her chair and tried to keep her mind from racing. It was thinking through all the different possibilities. Was there a way they could save Draco and still end up together? Who had obliviated Draco?

"Your turn." Lucius motioned toward the glass in front of Hermione and she drank it quickly.

"Did you know that Draco would die before today?"

"No," her voice was completely flat.

"Did you obliviate him?"

"No."

"Do you love him?"

"More than my life." The tears Hermione had been holding back finally began to stream down her face.

Lucius seemed unaffected by the tears. He leaned forward and stared intently at her with those grey eyes that were almost exactly like Draco's. "Will you help me save him?"

"Yes."

* * *

_Present Time: July 2005 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

When Draco reappeared in his time, he was sitting on the chair in their bedroom while Hermione slept on his side of the bed. Crookshanks was watching Draco carefully and when Draco nodded at the cat, he seemed to relax slightly. Draco wondered if Crookshanks had been keeping an eye on the other Draco.

Draco rose silently and tiptoed to Hermione, then crouched next to her, but didn't touch her, not wanting to wake her up. He could see the tracks of tears on her face and remembered the night his past self had shared with her like it had just happened for him.

She'd come back from work and collapsed in the hall. It was like she'd been trying to hold it together until she got home, and as soon as she arrived at their house, she couldn't keep the tears in any longer. Then she'd cried for hours. Draco had held her and stroked her hair and tried to get her to tell him what was wrong, but she'd just stayed silent. All she said, the whole night, was that she loved him.

He remembered pointing out that she didn't love him (past Draco) but her husband, but she'd told that she loved him, no matter the time.

Then Draco had sat in the chair and watched her sleep before drifting off to sleep himself. Should he wake her up now? No, she looked peaceful and he didn't want to break that spell. There would be plenty of time in the morning for her to tell him what was wrong.

He shooed Crooks away, then laid on the bed with all his clothes still on, but struggled to get to sleep. He tried clearing his mind of the memory of Hermione crying that night, but as soon as he'd managed to get the image out, it crept back in. After a few hours, he fell into a very light sleep that felt closer to resting with his eyes closed, than real sleep. He could still hear every sound: Crookshanks padding around the room, cracks of the house settling, and eventually birds outside the window and sounds from the street as the city woke up.

When he felt Hermione snaking her arms around his waist, his eyes shot open. He turned toward the window and saw light was barely starting to illuminate the night sky. He couldn't see Hermione's expression clearly in the dark, but could tell her brow was furrowed and tried to smooth the wrinkles there.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here when you needed me," he whispered.

"You were here; and you were perfect," her voice cracked at the end and soon she was crying again.

Draco pulled her close and felt her body shaking with sobs against his. She burrowed her head into his chest and he could feel her tears soaking his shirt as he stroked her hair and whispered the same reassurances she had on their honeymoon, when their positions were reversed.

"You're okay, Hermione. I'm here and I'm never going to leave you. I know your heart, your mind, and your soul and I love them all and nothing you say will ever stop that from being true."

He repeated the words, but they just seemed to make her cry harder. He focused on them because they were true, and it gave him something to do besides drive himself mad, thinking through theories of what could be behind this pain. Eventually, she seemed to have run out of tears and sat up. The morning light was coming through the window. It painted her skin and hair gold and she looked beautiful, despite the tears.

Draco sat up to join her and twisted a golden curl around his finger. He knew he didn't have to ask what was wrong. She would tell him when she was ready, but her next words weren't what he expected. "You shouldn't make promises you can't keep." Her voice was flat and completely devoid of emotion.

"What?" he breathed, hurt and confused.

"You said you're here and you're never going to leave me, but you are." She dipped her head and Draco pulled her against his chest.

"I'm not, Hermione. I promise."

He felt her shaking her head and pushed her back so he could see her face, but she didn't look angry, like he expected - just unbelievably sad. "Tell me what's going on. Please."

She nodded, and when she spoke her voice was rough. "I talked to your father."

Draco straightened and hatred flowed through him. He should have suspected. His father had done this. He should have had Potter assign an Auror to protect her. She shook her head and placed a hand on his cheek. "Don't be angry with him. It's not what you think."

She stopped talking and Draco urged her silently to just tell him, but could see the thought of doing so was tearing her apart. He summoned all his patience and waited, but she stayed silent.

"Tell me so I can help you."

She gripped his shoulder firmly for support and nodded. "You die, Draco. That's why it all ends in 2006. You jump to the past, that first day at the Manor with your father, and you die."

She started crying again but Draco hardly noticed. It felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room and he was alone in the middle of a black hole. Just like the one that had caused so much damage in the parlor that day.

"And if we end it-" he heard her continue, as if from the end of a long tunnel, but she cut off and was sobbing again. He hugged her, trying to find comfort in her warmth. He didn't need her to finish her sentence. He knew what she'd been about to say.

_And if we end it, we'll no longer be together._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So I know some of you are thinking here, "What the hell? You said this story would have a happy ending." I'll respond to that with a quote from this chapter:
> 
> "This was the magical world, after all, and he'd seen incredible things in his lifetime. This was a world where the Dark Lord had made himself immortal, and an unremarkable boy like Harry Potter had survived the killing curse not once, but twice. In a world like that, couldn't Draco find a way to cheat death?"
> 
> There are a ton of references to previous chapters. The Manor explosion was in Chapter 1 and the first time Lucius confronted Draco about the time travel was in the middle of Chapter 14. The time Lucius talked to Draco about taking Hermione to France was in Chapter 18. Lucius told Draco about his death for the first time in Chapter 20. Then he talked to Draco about it again a year later in Chapter 26.
> 
> The fight he had with Narcissa was referenced in Chapter 28 and he talked to Draco at his wedding in Chapter 28 too. Finally, he had lunch with Draco in Chapter 38 when Draco asked him about children and he cornered Draco in the alley in Chapter 39.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. We haven't answered all the questions, but we finally found out what the hell Lucius was up to this whole time. Come see me on Tumblr (Alexandra-Emerson) for more content related to the story, and let me know what you think!
> 
> Thanks again to my beta readers Lancashire Witch and Kimmeh B. The next chapter will be posted Thur, Jan-7.


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

_Tomorrow I'll cry for all the world,_

_for all the things gone wrong;_

_I will cry for every tethered bird,_

_who has lost her joyful song._

_Tomorrow I'll cry for every heart,_

_that has broken, like boughs, in two,_

_but today, my love, you have my tears -_

_today I will cry for you._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: July 2005 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

The next few days passed slowly, which Draco found odd. He thought since his days were numbered, time would begin to fly. Though he wasn't entirely surprised, since time hadn't operated normally for him in years.

Draco felt like his whole life was spiraling out of control and it was like he was back in the middle of the war with the Dark Lord living in his house; when whether he lived or died that day depended on the whims of a madman. As he considered this comparison, he realized his current situation was worse. He did have a choice this time, but the decision was so impossible that Draco almost wished it wasn't there.

He'd stopped going to work and flew as often as the weather permitted, but it didn't make the ache in his chest go away. When he was home, he retreated into himself and used Occlumency so much that he'd given himself a persistent headache.

He kept waiting for Hermione to approach him and force him to talk. Every time he entered their bedroom he expected to see stars on the ceiling, but she'd retreated as well. It felt like they were both waiting for the other to do or say something, and everything seemed to be on hold until they decided what to do. Let the timeline play out and allow Draco to die, or end their life together?

How were they supposed to make a decision like that?

They still spent time with each other. They held hands, embraced, and even made love, but they barely talked. They were each living inside their minds and Draco knew that soon, it would break.

On the fourth day, Hermione was sitting on the bed in the spare room, looking at the timeline on the wall. Draco had crossed off the time jumps up until the last one and been excited every time he did so, since he knew he was getting closer to the end of the jumps. He hadn't bothered to cross the most recent one off. But just because he hadn't marked the time, didn't mean it wasn't passing.

Draco sat next to her and looked over at the wall and she turned to him. "You obliviated yourself, didn't you?"

Draco nodded. That was the only logical conclusion. Every book he'd read about memory charms said it wasn't possible. Then again, anyone who had done it wouldn't remember having done so, therefore it was hard to prove. Also, he figured no one had been desperate enough to attempt such a dangerous maneuver before.

"The second time you found out, at our wedding, you time jumped to the Halloween Ball and I asked you what was wrong," Hermione continued, keeping her gaze forward. "You told me that you should tell me, but you couldn't, because you were too much of a coward. Then you promised you would tell me when you got back to our time."

Draco didn't know what to say. He had no memory of any of this.

"You should have told me." When Hermione turned to him, her eyes were accusing. "I deserved to know."

"What would knowing have changed? Would you not have married me?"

"That's not what I meant. But you kept it from me," she said quietly.

"And what? You're angry?"

She stood up and walked away but paused in the doorway before leaving. "I don't know," she whispered before leaving him alone.

Draco laid back on the bed as anger coursed through him. She blamed him for this, but it was just as much her fault as his. She'd married the wrong version of him, and decided to stay with him, even though they both knew something bad was coming. She'd told him to ignore what was going on. They could have known this years ago, if it wasn't for her. Though they never anticipated something as bad as this.

He cast a silencing charm around the room and picked up the lamp on the side table and threw it violently against the wall. He grabbed everything he could find that was breakable (picture frames, the mirror, an empty vase) and smashed them. Then he used his wand to blast the larger pieces, barely noticing when a few shards of glass cut his arms.

When he finished, the floor was covered with a layer of broken glass and ceramic. He didn't feel any better. He considered leaving it there, but when he got to the door, he had a dark thought.

He called for one of the Malfoy Manor house elves and the smallest one appeared in the middle of the room in seconds. She looked around scared and confused but relaxed slightly when she saw Draco in the doorway. "Master Draco?"

"Clean this up," Draco ordered before slamming the door behind him. He sat in the hall and cried tears of rage and frustration as he listened to the house elf work on the other side of the door.

He had never felt this angry in this entire life. It wasn't directed at Hermione, or even himself, which was usually the case. He hated the universe. He was so sure he and Hermione were being brought together for some big purpose, but it was all for nothing.

Their end would be more terrible than their beginning had been. He would die, and she would be alone and broken and there would be nothing he could do but ache for her on the other side of the veil. Maybe their love had been his punishment for the war, after all.

* * *

_Present Time: August 2005 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

Unmoored.

That was one of the words Draco had used to describe how he'd felt before dating Hermione. She'd never personally experienced the feeling. Until now.

She'd felt lonely, rejected, and like she didn't belong. But she had always had a purpose. Even during the war, when she and Harry were lost in the woods looking for Horcruxes, she'd had a purpose: support Harry, find another Horcrux, defeat Voldemort.

Now, she felt like she was lost at sea and there was no land in sight. Nothing to swim toward. Nothing to do but float and wait to get hit by a large boat. It was awful.

She wasn't completely out of options, though. It's just that her options were so bad she'd prefer it if she didn't have any. Her mind kept drifting back to the end of her conversation with Lucius the previous week.

"Will you help me save him?" he'd asked when she'd been under the influence of Veritaserum.

"Yes."

"Then, you know what you have to do."

She'd hesitated, because she hadn't known. She hadn't had as long to think through it all as Lucius had. When he'd noticed she didn't have an answer, the look in his eyes had turned sympathetic and he'd looked more like Draco then than he ever had before.

"He was obliviating himself," Lucius said in a soft voice. "If you didn't do it, that's the only other explanation. Why would he do that?"

"I don't know," she'd answered honestly.

"He'd obviously made his choice and thought it would be better to live out his remaining days in blissful ignorance."

It made sense, logically, but Hermione was hurt Draco had made that choice without her. Though it was his life, wasn't it? His decision?

"He won't walk away from you," Lucius continued. "He's made the decision a few times now to choose you, over his own life. But if you don't give him that option anymore…"

"I understand," Hermione had cut in, not needing to hear the rest of Lucius's statement. She knew what he wanted her to do. He'd nodded, then removed a small, black vial from his robes and placed it on her desk before leaving her alone. She didn't need him to tell her what it contained.

Was Lucius right? Would Draco insist on letting this timeline play out? The past several days, he'd disappeared into his head and she could tell he was avoiding the decision altogether. He couldn't keep this going forever. He'd have to decide eventually.

How could he possibly choose anything other than life? Someone like Draco, with his quick wit, dazzling smile, and powerful presence. Although he wasn't nearly as fidgety as she was, he had unmistakable energy right under the surface, waiting behind his intelligent eyes. Someone like that couldn't possibly die at 25. He had to live, even if he did it without her.

So, she made a plan to save him. As it solidified in her mind, she felt more like herself, though she wasn't entirely sure she'd have the nerve to go through with it. She kept reminding herself that only she could save Draco and it was her job, as his wife, to do so.

If she refused to continue on with him, then he'd have nothing to hold on to. No reason to stay in this timeline. It would hurt at first, but then they'd be free of this awful present, and be transported to a new one. Would they find each other there? Maybe. Either way, Draco would be alive and well; wasn't that all that mattered?

"I'm leaving, Draco."

Draco looked up from his book and set it down when he saw Hermione holding a large bag in one hand and Crookshanks in another. "Okay," he said in a resigned voice, like he'd been expecting this all along.

She closed her eyes so she wouldn't see the devastation on his face and turned to go. She stopped in the hall and waited for him to come after her. _Fight for us, Draco. Fight for life. Fight for something!_

He didn't come. She gripped the potion bottle in her hand. She'd meant to leave this behind and looked at the side table. If she placed it here, he'd know what it was when he saw it. Though something made her hold back and instead of putting the potion on the table, she slipped it in her pocket, trying to breathe through the intense pain in her chest.

Hermione almost dropped everything she was holding so she could march back to the room and throw herself into Draco's arms. Instead she closed her eyes and imagined what he must have looked like that day at the Manor, dead in Lucius's arms. "I love you," she whispered under her breath. Then she pulled Crookshanks close against her chest and disapparated.

* * *

** Blaise Zabini **

Blaise heard the crack of apparition in the hall outside, then an odd scratching on the door. Before he could investigate further, the front door burst open and Hermione's cat ran in, followed closely by an extremely depressed-looking Hermione.

"I'm staying here," she said on her way to the spare bedroom.

"What? No. You're not."

"I know you bought this place for half price and never told Draco," she said once she reached the room.

Blaise paused in the doorway. "Does Draco know?"

"No. And he won't, as long as you let me stay here," she threw her bag on the bed and began pulling out clothes and books.

"Where have you been?" Blaise asked. She and Draco had been missing for a week and had claimed they were sick, but everyone knew that was code for 'fighting' by now. This seemed serious. As far as he knew, she'd never left Draco before. Blaise's stomach twisted at that thought.

"None of your fucking business," she responded in a near-perfect impression of Theo. "Now leave me alone."

She raised her wand to slam the door, but Blaise caught it. "Tell me. Why here, out of all the places you could have picked?"

"I'll only be here a week. Now go."

"I didn't ask how long," Blaise pointed out.

Hermione was at the door now and the cat was at Blaise's feet, hissing. Blaise stepped back in alarm and Hermione took the opportunity to slam the door shut. He sighed as he heard her apply several locking charms. What the fuck was that? And blackmail? If he wasn't so irritated right now, he'd be impressed.

* * *

** Bennett Clark **

Bennett was incredibly nervous, but he was trying to hide it as he straightened his collar for the fifth time in front of the mirror.

"Relax," Theo said from across the room as he looked under the bed.

Bennett took another deep breath and turned to find Theo smirking at him. "It's sort of adorable how nervous you are."

"It's a big deal," Bennett said defensively.

Theo shrugged. "I wasn't nervous when I met your friends."

"My friends are harmless. Your friend group includes a cutthroat campaign manager whose mother is probably a murderer, one of the most popular socialites in London, Harry Potter's best friend, and let's not forget - an ex-Death Eater!"

Theo waved his hand. "Draco's reformed. He should be the least of your worries. He's never killed anyone, in case you were wondering, and he hasn't tortured anyone since the war - well, at least, I don't think he has."

"Comforting." Bennett sat on the bed and Theo joined him and leaned into his side.

"We can't all be as pure-hearted as you. I still can't believe you couldn't manage the Cruciatus Curse. What kind of person doesn't have any hate to draw on? A fucking Hufflepuff, I guess." He bent to kiss Bennett on the cheek and resumed his search of the room.

Bennett rolled his eyes and leaned back on his hands as he watched Theo, wondering absently what he was looking for, while he thought back on their first date. It had been extremely odd, but Theo had insisted they start off with a thorough discussion about the war and what each of them had been doing during You-Know-Who's reign.

Theo told Bennett about his father and how much he'd hated him for being a Death Eater. How in seventh year, Theo had been forced to torture students against his will, knowing he'd be punished severely at home if he didn't comply. Then finally, how relieved he'd felt when his father died in the final battle.

Bennett explained that he was half-blood, so was allowed to attend Hogwarts while Snape was Headmaster. He'd been in sixth year, but been unable to perform the Cruciatus Curse and had been punished with painful detentions. He'd been among the students to rush to safety before the final battle and still felt a little ashamed he hadn't snuck back in, like some of his peers.

It had been an awkward discussion and had taken up the entire lunch hour, but they'd agreed to meet again. Bennett thought they'd have a normal date, but next, Theo wanted to list everything he thought might scare Bennett off. He'd told him how he had a surrogate Muggle father who he watched baking shows with, how he ordered his house elves to talk to him to fill the silence when he got lonely, how he'd promised his mother he'd give her a pureblood heir even though he was gay, how he'd done his friends' assignments in school to get them to like him, and how he loathed Quidditch.

When Bennett had pointed out that normal couples typically waited until they knew their partner better before admitting those types of things, Theo had shrugged and said it was better to get it out of the way early. Then he'd asked very frankly, "So what's the verdict? Is any of that a deal breaker for you?"

Bennett had shaken his head and then their date had turned almost normal. Well, as normal as a date with Theo could be. He was unlike anyone Bennett had ever been with, but in a refreshing way. Sure, he was handsome and rich (which was why Bennett's friends thought he was with Theo) but there was so much more to him that was harder to explain.

He was serious and sullen, and suffered from perpetual bad moods, but he was also hilarious, brutally honest, clever, and surprisingly thoughtful. When Bennett talked, Theo actually listened - and remembered.

Last week, he'd mentioned offhand that his mother was going in for a procedure at St. Mungo's on Thursday. Then his mum had received a large delivery of flowers from an anonymous sender. Bennett knew it was Theo, since he hadn't told anyone else about it, but Theo had been annoyed when Bennett brought it up and told him to drop it.

Bennett talked a lot and was used to people laughing along with him, but this was an entirely different feeling and he wanted to be just as attentive. Though it was easy to listen to Theo, because he rarely talked about personal things (excluding those first two dates). That's why today was such a big deal. Bennett was finally going to meet Theo's friends.

"What are you looking for?" he asked when he snapped out of his thoughts.

Theo stood up. "My bag. I could have sworn I put it by the door."

"Oh, you should have said," Bennett stood and opened the closet and pulled Theo's bag off the hook on the door. "I put it in here."

"In the closet?" Theo took the bag and was glaring at Bennett. He'd triggered one of Theo's moods again.

Bennett tried to keep from smirking at Theo's ridiculousness and said levelly, "Yes. I put your bag in the closet. What's the problem?"

"It just seems...I don't know. When it's on the floor, I'm like a visitor. In the closet, it's like I belong here, or something," his voice trailed off at the end and he added harshly, "you should have asked me first."

Bennett smiled. Theo was so cute when he was angry and it was fortunate Bennett thought this, since Theo was always angry. "We've been dating for three months and you spend most nights here. Why shouldn't you get to use the hook in the closet? I have no plans to get rid of you, yet."

Theo shook his head. "We'll see what you say after today. Are you ready?"

Bennett's face must have dropped because Theo came and gripped his arms firmly. "I told you it's fine. Draco won't hurt you. He's nice now. Blaise is a prat. Just don't listen to anything he says. None of us do. Daphne will be fine and you can bond on your shared love of those stupid soap operas. And you already know Hermione, so try to stick with her, since she's the only sane one."

Bennett didn't feel very comforted, since the sanest one of the group was a witch who'd recently threatened him and had also had the nerve to rob Gringotts while impersonating Bellatrix Lestrange. He remembered then that Bellatrix had been Draco Malfoy's aunt. Shite, what was he walking into?

"Let's just go. It'll get worse the more you think about it." Theo apparated them into his bedroom at Nott Manor and checked his appearance one more time in the mirror before going to the door. "I'll keep you safe," he teased when he saw that Bennett hadn't moved from his spot by the bed.

When they got to the hallway, they were interrupted by an elderly house elf who wanted to tell Theo about an unexpected visit from Draco Malfoy earlier that day. Apparently, he'd been looking for his wife and had left as soon as the house elf told him she wasn't there.

Theo thanked the house elf and shrugged once he'd disappeared.

"What did that mean?" Bennett asked.

Theo sighed. "I have no idea. Draco and Hermione are incredibly complicated. I've learned to just go along with things and when they are ready to bring me up to speed, they will. Now stop stalling."

He pulled Bennett down the hall. Soon they were in the drawing room and Theo was introducing him to Blaise Zabini and Daphne Greengrass. Daphne was even more beautiful in person than she was in the paper, which Bennett hadn't thought possible. She scanned his appearance meticulously with her light green eyes and Bennett waited for her to deliver her verdict, but she said nothing.

Was that good? He'd have to ask Theo later, but he thought so. She seemed like the type of witch who would tell him if she disapproved.

Blaise Zabini was striking. His dark, slightly slanted eyes were intelligent and he looked like he was playing a large game of chess, assessing every move and sorting through the possible alternatives. It was a bit unnerving. Bennett thought he was the epitome of the term "Slytherin Snake."

"Blaise Zabini," there was a hint of an accent behind his words that matched his exotic looks and Bennett wondered where he was from.

"Bennett Clark." They exchanged a firm handshake.

Blaise's mask of indifference broke and he smirked wickedly. "The Hufflepuff. I was against letting one of you into this exclusive group," he paused to wink at Daphne. "I voted for Ravenclaw," he said when he looked back at Bennett. His eyes were dancing with mirth, but also looked calculating, like he was weighing Bennett's reaction to this.

"Right," Bennett had no idea what else to say to that and when he looked over at Theo, he looked bored. If Theo wasn't concerned about what Blaise thought, then Bennett decided that he shouldn't be either. This was obviously just some game.

"Why are you with Theo?" Daphne cut in.

Bennett's eyes widened at the unexpected question. These were his friends. They should know Theo's good qualities.

"Ignore her," Blaise drawled. "She's not as mean as she seems. She's actually nice, deep down." Blaise and Daphne shared an odd look and Bennett wondered if there was something romantic between them. Something else to ask Theo later.

"Shut up. I am not," Daphne argued. "And that is a good question. So tell us, Bennett, because if you don't have an answer, I think you have no business being here."

She looked over at Theo and Bennett thought he saw a flash of concern in his eyes. Was he worried Bennett didn't have an answer? Bennett was about to speak up when someone shouted from the hall.

"I need your help!" It was a dark-haired witch, who was also beautiful. Why was Theo only friends with gorgeous people? When the witch saw Bennett, she cut off and looked embarrassed.

"What is it?" Daphne crossed the room in a few paces and grasped the other witch's arms.

"Sorry to interrupt, but it's an emergency." Bennett heard the dark-haired witch whisper.

"What happened?" Daphne whispered back.

"It's Draco. There's something terribly wrong. Something with Hermione," Bennett saw Theo and Blaise perk up. Then everyone looked at him and he could almost see them close ranks.

"Right," Daphne pulled the witch into the hall and Blaise followed after them, vanishing the drink in his hand as he did so. He stopped in the doorway and gave Theo a pointed look, to which Theo responded with a curt nod.

Theo turned to Bennett and sighed. "I have to go."

Bennett had been about to argue, but Theo's eyes looked serious. "I guess you were right to be worried. This barely lasted ten minutes." Theo's dark tone didn't match the lightness of his words.

He sighed heavily and placed a firm hand on Bennett's shoulder. "There's one more thing you need to know about me, another potential deal-breaker. I pretend to hate my friends, but they are everything to me and sometimes I'm going to choose them over you, like now. I'm sorry, but I have to go. Let yourself out, and I'll call when I can." He leaned toward Bennett, as if to kiss him, but seemed to change his mind at the last minute and disappeared into the hall.

"And Bennett," Theo had reappeared in the doorway. "If you tell anyone what you heard today, I will personally make sure you regret it." His voice was harsher than Bennett had ever heard it and his eyes were dangerous. For the first time since they'd been dating, Bennett saw the version of Theo that was capable of torture.

Bennett drained his glass then took a deep breath. He'd have to add "fiercely loyal" to the list of Theo's good (and simultaneously terrifying) qualities.

* * *

** Blaise Zabini **

When Blaise heard Astoria say there was a problem with Draco and Hermione, he assumed he'd finally hear about the fight that had led Hermione to blackmail him and take over his flat, but the real story was sadder than anything Blaise could have imagined. Draco was going to time jump to his death? It didn't seem like real life, but one of those soap operas Daphne liked so much.

Blaise felt sick through Draco's entire explanation and he wished he knew Occlumency so he could block his mind from thinking about Draco's death. He'd also like to use it to forget how pathetic Draco looked.

Draco was an absolute mess and looked even worse than he had during that time he'd been depressed after the war. He clearly hadn't showered or slept in days and was openly crying. It was so at odds with the dignified and powerful wizard Blaise had always respected.

"So you finally found out what your father was trying to tell you - which is that you're dying in March and- and-" Daphne cut off and took a deep breath. "-and Hermione left?" Blaise could tell Daphne was barely holding it together. As he watched her, he could almost see her turning all of the fear, sadness, and uncertainty into anger. He wondered who'd win in a duel between her and Hermione right now, because Daphne looked ready to murder someone.

"I think it's all too much for her. And I let her go, because she deserves better. Then I time jumped and when I saw her, I kissed her, but it wasn't a Hermione I was married to, or even dating." Draco dropped his face into his hands and shook his head.

"When I got back home, I decided to go find her and fight for her. Maybe that's what she wanted this whole time."

Daphne's eyes flashed at that and Theo asked, "Where did she go?"

Draco's face was still in his hands. "I went to the Manor and checked the clock, to get a clue of where she'd gone-" he cut off and started crying again. Blaise had never seen Draco cry before, except for a few tears at his wedding, but that had been different.

The sight of him now awakened a long-buried emotion in Blaise. The feeling of standing on platform 9 3/4 and realizing that his mother wasn't coming. It was the day he'd learned that witches always left. First his grandmother, then his mother, then Theo's mother had abandoned him right after the war, Pansy had cheated on Draco, and now Hermione had left Draco when he needed her most.

"She's lost," Draco said once he finally stopped crying.

"Lost?" Theo looked concerned and Blaise wanted to punch him. Theo was clearly worried for Hermione, but Blaise was with Daphne. Good riddance to that stupid Mudblood. Draco was who they should be concerned about.

"The clock said she's lost. I've looked everywhere. At all of her friends' houses, but no one has seen her for days."

Blaise was about to reassure Draco, since he couldn't let this go on for any longer, but Daphne spoke first. "Are you talking about your family clock?" Draco nodded. "The _Lost_ location is metaphorical. My mother's hand was there for almost a year while she worked through that midlife crisis of hers. Remember when she couldn't decide whether she wanted to lead the Magical Elegance or Savvy Witches club? Hermione is probably just fine," Blaise could tell by her tone that she wouldn't care if Hermione's hand was at the _Mortal Peril_ spot, but she was trying to be kind for Draco.

Daphne crouched down and grabbed Draco's legs and waited until he looked at her before speaking again. "We'll find her, Draco, I promise. If anything, just so I can hex her for leaving you at a time like this. But first, we need to get you back home and bathed and dressed. Don't give me that face. Maybe it's stupid, and a little shallow, but small things like this can help."

"You think she's okay?" Draco whispered.

"Yes. The clock would tell you if she was in danger." Daphne stood and turned away from Draco. Blaise saw from her face that she was about to lose it. He started to reach for her but held back. He was barely managing to hold himself together and needed to use his remaining energy to confront Hermione. Daphne would be fine; she was strong.

She turned to face Blaise and Theo. "Can one of you make sure Draco gets home and gets cleaned up? I need to come up with something to tell Astoria so she doesn't worry too much." Blaise heard her voice catch on the last word and in the next moment she was gone.

Theo took her spot next to Draco and muttered something in a low voice. Blaise only heard part of it. Something about Draco needing to look more presentable when Hermione finally returned home. Blaise rolled his eyes.

Theo gave Draco a hand and walked with him to the fire. Once Draco had Floo-ed back to his house, Theo turned to Blaise. "I think one of us should stay with him until she gets back. We can take turns."

"I'll do the first shift," Blaise cut in, glad for the excuse to be with Draco alone so he could tell him Hermione was safe and had been staying with him. "I just need to stop by my flat first, then I'll meet you there."

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

Hermione was considering how ironic it was that saving Draco's life may end up killing her. Could someone die of a broken heart? The pain in her chest was getting worse each day. The clarity her plan had given her initially had faded and she was back to feeling more unmoored than before.

Maybe it was because she hadn't left the potion. She'd hesitated at the end, but without that, what was the point of her leaving? Would Draco go to Lucius to get another one? Hermione's heart clenched painfully at the thought. If this was right, then why did she feel worse than she ever had in her life? The right thing wasn't always easy, though. Draco always said that.

At the thought of him, her heart clenched again and she was crying for the thousandth time since she'd left. She went to the bathroom to splash water on her face and paused when she saw her toothbrush. She could have sworn she'd put it in her bag, but it was laying on the counter. It must have been that auburn-haired witch Blaise brought home last night. She was probably wondering what it was, since most wizards didn't use them.

Hermione started looking through her toiletries and noticed a lot of them had been tampered with. The stopper on one of her contraceptive potions was loose and two of those fancy makeup brushes Daphne had bought her were missing. That bitch.

Hermione was relieved to have something to focus on besides Draco and allowed anger to course through her system. She heard the crack of apparition and smirked, ready to yell at Blaise about his thieving slag.

When she met him in the main room, he started yelling first.

"Why me?!"

"What?" she asked.

"Why did you choose to stay with me, out of all your friends?"

Hermione was silent. She didn't know. When she'd decided to act on Lucius's plan and knew she had to leave, staying with Blaise in her old flat was the first thing she'd thought of.

"I know why," Blaise continued, his dark eyes alight with rage. "It's my job to assess all possible moves and anticipate what people are going to do next. I see what you're doing and you thought that I was the most likely person to go along with it. Were you hoping I'd give you encouragement?" he spat.

"Draco told you…"

Tears sprang into his eyes and he quickly turned away from her.

"Maybe you're right," Hermione whispered, her previous anger forgotten. "Maybe, on some subconscious level, I thought you'd understand. You're the most practical person I know. So you must see that Draco has to save himself. And if I'm not there, he'll be more likely to do that."

Blaise's face twisted in disgust. "You were wrong. Not even I am as cold as that. You promised him you'd never leave him. You said you loved him more than anything. And then, when he needs you most, you abandon him?"

"It's not like that!" Hermione yelled back, finally finding her anger again. "He can't die! Don't you see? He's miserable right now. We both are. But once he takes the extraction potion, it will all be over. We'll be in a different timeline, and maybe we won't be together, but he'll be safe."

Blaise approached until he was just a foot away from her and said in a cold voice, "You're despicable. Everyone puts you on a pedestal. You saved the world. You helped Harry Potter. You took poor, sad Draco and reformed him into a decent bloke. Then you _crushed_ him. He's worse than I've ever seen him, but do you even care? No. This is just part of your plan. To force him into making the decision that's best for you."

Hermione felt like he'd struck her and dropped her head as tears welled into her eyes.

"I'm leaving," he continued. "I'm going to your house to check on your husband, because he's such a mess that we all decided to take shifts staying with him. And I'm going to tell him where you are. So if you want to go hide somewhere else, I suggest you start packing."

Hermione's mind flashed with the image of the Draco who had kissed her years ago. Eyes swimming with pain, with deep blue bags underneath, several days of stubble, disheveled, and smelling of stale fire whiskey. She hadn't known him well enough at the time to know how bad he was, but as she recalled the memory now, her heart ached at the thought of him so alone and depressed, and she was the cause of it.

This was wrong, it all felt wrong, but she'd come this far, and she just wanted it to end. She was doing this to save him, and she had to commit to her goal. She closed her eyes tight and pictured him dead in Lucius's arms again. She'd imagined it so much these past few days that it was like her own memory.

"Blaise," he didn't turn, but paused in front of the fire. She walked to him and held the extraction potion out for him to take. "Give him this."

Blaise looked down at the black vial which was shaking in her hand and when he finally took it, he squeezed it so hard she thought it would shatter. "I thought you were different. I thought you were an exception to the rule." His voice was dead and he continued to look away from her, focusing on the flames instead.

"What rule?" she asked softly.

Blaise picked up a pile of Floo powder and threw it violently into the flames. "Witches always leave," he said almost inaudibly before speaking her address and stepping into the fire.

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

Draco was counting the cracks on the wall when he heard the sound of apparition. He could tell immediately from the sound of the footsteps that it wasn't Hermione, so he didn't bother to check who it was. Someone settled into the couch next to him and he recognized the smell of Blaise's cologne.

He was about to tell Blaise he didn't need a babysitter, when Blaise said, "She's at my flat. Has been this whole time. I should have told you sooner, but I didn't know you were drinking yourself to death and boycotting showers."

Draco's eyes snapped to meet Blaise's and he was surprised to find them alight with anger. "She's safe?"

"Yes," Blaise said, though he looked like he wished that weren't true.

"I need to see her." Draco rushed to his feet and started patting his pocket for his wand, then realized he'd left it upstairs in the bathroom.

He was about to run up to get it when Blaise grabbed his arm. "Don't. She's not worth it."

Draco pushed him off. "You don't know what you're talking about." He turned again but Blaise pulled him to face him and this time he had a potion in his hand.

"She doesn't want you to fight for her. She wants you to take this."

Draco felt like all the air had left his lungs. He knew exactly what was in that vial. Where had she gotten it? It didn't matter. The meaning was clear. She was done with him.

He knew she didn't deserve all of this. It's why he'd let her go in the first place. Even though it was his life, it would be harder for her if he went through with this timeline, since she'd be left behind.

This whole relationship had been unbelievably hard but had always seemed worth it to him. She obviously felt differently. Maybe she should have ended up with Weasley, after all. They could have kids, spend happy weekends at the Burrow, and she could enjoy the normal life she'd always wanted. Not be a widow before the age of 30.

Blaise was watching him carefully, still holding the vial out for him to take.

"What should I do, Blaise?" Draco's voice was weak. He knew he sounded like a child. He normally wouldn't let his guard down this much around Blaise, but all his energy was gone and he was past trying to be strong.

"If you don't take this, you die in March. Though from my perspective, you're dead now. She's gone, and I don't think she means to come back. You may have a shot at happiness in another time."

Draco nodded and took the potion from Blaise, but as he opened the stopper and drank the cold liquid, it wasn't his happiness he was thinking about. It was Hermione's. They'd had a wonderful time together and it killed him that he was going to forget it. She deserved better than him, she always had. He hoped she'd be happy, in whatever alternate life she ended up in.

* * *

** Lucius Malfoy **

"Draco," Lucius rose as soon as Draco entered his study. When they met in the middle of the room, both men stood silent.

Draco looked awful. Lucius guessed he hadn't slept properly in days, and he was thin, so maybe he'd stopped eating too. His eyes, which were usually bright, were completely dead. Lucius found the dull, grey color disturbing and focused on Draco's mouth as he spoke, instead.

"I misjudged you. I should have known you never would have done anything to harm me. I apologize for assuming the worst," Draco said in a voice that sounded as dead as he looked.

There were no words that seemed adequate for this situation, so Lucius placed a hand on his son's shoulder instead.

"We've lost so much time," Draco muttered, and Lucius agreed. It had been exactly what he'd been thinking. "Why did you think I was pushing you away?"

Lucius sighed. "I thought you blamed me for your death."

Draco nodded sadly and shifted his gaze toward the clock on the wall. "Still lost," he whispered under his breath and the desperation and longing in his gaze was physically painful for Lucius to watch.

Both Draco and Hermione's hands had been at the _Lost_ position since the morning after Lucius talked to Hermione. Lucius hadn't been surprised. Then a few days later, Draco's hand had moved back to _London House._ Lucius guessed he'd made a decision but didn't understand why Hermione's hand was still at _Lost._

Draco was looking at Lucius now with a somber expression. "I assume you're the one who gave her the potion."

Lucius nodded. "I carried it around for three years, just waiting for you to ask for it. I should have died that day, not you. Did you-" Lucius faltered, then started again. "Did you take it?"

"Yes. That's what I came to tell you."

Lucius froze and reorganized his features so his face was blank. He'd expected to feel something significant at the news of his imminent death, but all he felt was numbness, with a small hint of relief in the background. Draco would go on to live a long life. He'd have children of his own, and he could make a happy life in another timeline, but Lucius wouldn't get to see it.

"I understand, son. I'm sure that was a difficult decision, but I think you're making the right choice."

Draco's eyes flashed back to the clock. "I'm sorry you thought I blamed you. I don't. And I didn't take the potion because I think my life is worth more than yours. I took it for her."

So Hermione had been true to her word. Lucius felt affection toward the girl for the first time since he'd met her.

When Draco turned back to Lucius, his eyes were wet with tears. He took a deep breath and Lucius watched him craft a mask of indifference. "I need to go. Daphne's at my house waiting for me, and she'll come looking for me if I'm gone too long. I took it a few hours ago, so you should still have a few days. I can stop by again, if you'd like."

"Of course," Lucius said quickly. "Dinner tomorrow?"

"Yes."

Draco nodded and walked out, but he stopped at the door and turned back to Lucius, saying quickly before disappearing down the hall, "I love you, Father."

Lucius sat and stared at the clock for what felt like hours. What would happen to his hand? He knew it would disappear, like his parents' hands had, but he'd never seen how it happened in the moment. Would it burst into flames dramatically? Or just fade out?

Well, regardless, it wouldn't happen on this clock, but another clock in another timeline. He'd die on that windy day in January 2000 and Draco would live. Would Narcissa be okay? How long would she and Draco mourn for him? He knew a lot of the Wizarding World would breathe a sigh of relief once they heard the news.

Just then, he saw the _Hermione Malfoy_ hand start to twitch. It was shaking slowly, then faster on the _Lost_ spot. The clock started to chime and her hand was bouncing between _Social Engagement_ and _Lost._ After a minute, it stopped on _Social Engagement_ for several moments.

Before Lucius could decide what it meant, the hand moved again. First to _Travelling,_ then to _London House._

"Damn," Lucius swore under his breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: My chest was clenched the entire time writing this chapter. It was by far the hardest part of the story to write. I try to stick to realism as much as possible, but I've never encountered a situation where someone is facing their imminent death, but they have an option to avoid it, but that option would make them lose the love of their life. So this is the best I could come up with…
> 
> The time jump referred to in this chapter was originally in Chapter 9. Thanks so much to my beta readers Lancashire Witch and Kimmeh B for making this story better. Come see me on Tumblr (Alexandra-Emerson) for more content related to this story.
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Sat, Jan-9. I know this is sad, but hang in there, I stand by the HEA tag.


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

_I wonder if there will be a morning when you'll wake up missing me. That some incident in your life would have finally taught you the value of my worth. And you will feel a surge of longing, when you remember how I was good to you._

_When this day comes I hope you will look for me. I hope you will look with the kind of conviction I'd always hoped for, but never had from you. Because I want to be found. And I hope it will be you - who finds me._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: August 2005 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Hermione Granger-Malfoy**

Hermione was reading a book of poems in an effort to keep her mind off of Draco and the extraction potion, but it wasn't working.

_Anyone would have told you I stopped being the person I was the second you walked into my life._

How could a line like that make her think of anything but Draco? Both of them had completely transformed the other in their short time together. She tried not to think of the person she'd become if he took that potion. Would she go back to being that insecure witch who didn't feel like she belonged anywhere?

She took a deep breath and turned the page, but the next poem brought tears to her eyes.

_When I used to look above_

_all I saw was sky;_

_and every song_

_that I would sing,_

_I sung not knowing why._

_All I felt and all I thought,_

_was only just because;_

_never was it ever you -_

_until it was all there was._

She threw the book against the wall and Crookshanks meowed in protest, then shifted positions before settling back on the bed. Hermione reached for the newspaper on the nightstand and started reading that instead, but her eyes kept drifting over to the book of poems that was laying open on the ground.

_Never was it ever you - until it was all there was._

The words echoed in Hermione's brain. This was one of the many lines of poetry she'd always admired when she was younger, but never fully felt and understood until after she'd started dating Draco. Would she come to understand these poems in her other life too?

When she focused back on the paper she had a sappy thought. It was the kind of thing Draco would roll his eyes at, but secretly love. Since he wasn't here to tell it to, she decided to tell Crookshanks instead.

"Before Draco, I think my life was more like this newspaper. Everything was safe and there were facts, but not much real emotion. Then my life with Draco was like that book of poems. Beautiful, but also heartbreaking, with drastic swings between spectacular love and unbelievable pain."

" _It's just life, Hermione. With its ups and downs."_ Draco had told her that once. He'd been from the future and looked sad and now she knew what "downs" he'd been referring to.

"It was a really beautiful life, Crookshanks. But I think I'm going to forget it in a few days."

Would she find something like that in another time? Would she and Draco be able to find each other again, or was this really the end?

_The meaning of life, is that it ends._

The poem came into her mind suddenly and it was another one of those passages she'd always found intriguing, but never fully understood - until now. The truth of those words hit her like a bludger.

She slammed the paper down on the bed and shot to her feet, alarming Crookshanks again. "Sorry Crooks, but we have to go home. I was wrong. I thought I needed to save Draco and give him a better life. But _this_ life is enough."

She started throwing items in her bag and continued to mutter incoherently to Crookshanks. "Unmoored...stupid plan...his decision...shite…" Then she stopped abruptly. What was she doing? She could come back for her things later. She heard the crack that signaled apparition and ran into the main room.

Blaise was scowling at her. "I told you to leave."

She ignored him. "Did he take it?"

Blaise nodded and her heart dropped, but she took a few deep breaths. The timeline wasn't over yet, the potion would take days to work. Luckily, they had a lot of neutralizing potion at the house because of their previous suspicions about Lucius.

"You were right, Blaise. I should have never left. I'm going back," she said in a rush.

He leaned against the couch and crossed his arms. "You're too late. I told you he already took the potion."

"I think I can reverse it," she explained. "The fact that we're all still in this timeline means it's not too late."

"Well good for you," he scoffed. "They should give you another Order of Merlin."

"I understand why you're angry with me. And everything you said was right. But I - I was just trying to save his life."

"What changed?"

"I remembered that there's more to life than just being alive."

Hermione walked to Blaise and placed a hand on his arm. "You said all witches leave, but you were wrong. Some witches are terrible, like your mother, and those slags you bring around. But others, like me, and Daphne, are loyal. I made a mistake, that's all. And Daphne...she hasn't done anything wrong, has she?"

Blaise's eyes flashed with sadness and he turned his head away from her but didn't step out of her grasp. "So what? You and Draco were meant to be together after all? But what's the point? Is this really how your story goes? A long, hard road to get to each other, a few years of happiness mixed with a good bit of pain, then an untimely death?"

When he looked back at her, his eyes were lined with tears and she hugged him, even though he was stiff in her arms. "Maybe that's how the story goes for us. Or maybe it wasn't about us. Maybe we're just side characters in someone else's love story. I think you just have to make the most of what you're given."

She gave him a small smile, then stepped backward and apparated home.

* * *

When Hermione arrived in the house she heard the sound of the television in the sitting room. She rushed in and froze in the doorway when she saw Draco sitting on the couch. He was looking at her like she wasn't real. Before either of them could say anything, Daphne stood up and walked to Hermione, blocking her view of Draco.

"You're back," Daphne said in a cruel tone.

Hermione looked passed Daphne to Draco, who was still on the couch, but none of the words she'd planned to say would come out.

"I'm so angry with you, Hermione," Daphne continued. "I can't decide if I want to slap you or throw a glass of water in your face."

Hermione saw Draco stand and turn the television off. When he reached Hermione and Daphne, he placed his hands on Daphne's arms and gently pushed her toward the hall. "Thank you, Daphne. Now please, leave us alone."

Daphne huffed, then turned to Draco and said, "If she dares leave again, please Floo over. And you," she turned toward Hermione. "This isn't over," she said menacingly before disapparating.

Hermione dropped her head, wondering how bad Draco had been, when Daphne had found him, to make her so angry. Draco placed a finger under her chin and gently pulled her head up. His eyes weren't filled with anger, like Daphne's had been, but concern. "I thought I'd never see you again," he whispered, and she placed her forehead on his chest and started crying.

"Draco, I-" she tried to speak through her tears, but again, none of the words she'd meant to say would come out.

Draco pushed her back and lifted her chin again, then nodded reassuringly when she was looking at him. "You don't need to explain," he said kindly. "But you sort of stole my move. I'm supposed to be the one who freaks out, then runs away."

She smiled and started wiping her eyes with her sleeve. "I guess we are turning into each other a bit, after all."

Draco pulled her into a tight hug and she finally felt like she was back where she was supposed to be. "Thank you, for coming to say goodbye," he whispered, and she pushed away from him quickly.

"No! That's not what this is." She rushed to the kitchen and pulled out a familiar green bottle from the cabinet and placed it on the counter. "I should have never given that potion to Blaise. Maybe that's what we'll decide to do in the end, but we'll make that decision together." She grazed his cheek with her hand. "I thought it was my job to save you, but I was wrong. My job is to be by your side. Please forgive me for forgetting that, temporarily."

He grabbed her hand and kissed it. "What's with you Gryffindors and your obsession with saving people?"

Hermione cocked her head toward the potion. "Will you take this?"

He looked at it for a long time before turning back to face Hermione. "Are you sure? I know it's harder for you, Hermione. Since you'll be the one left behind if I die."

"Like I said, this isn't final. But I don't want it to end now. So please, take this," she picked it up and held it out for him, then breathed a sigh of relief when he took it from her and drank it down in one gulp.

When he placed the empty vial on the counter, they were quiet, each unsure what to say now. After awhile, Hermione asked, "Are you thinking about whether you'd rather slap me or throw a glass of water at me?"

Draco pulled her against his side and bent to kiss the top of her head. "I don't think I'm allowed to hit a witch," he said seriously, "And the water...well, you're not as pretty when you're wet, so I'll pass."

She smiled and looked up at him. "You say differently when we shower together."

"It's not the wet part I like, but the naked part."

Hermione laughed and cried in one motion, then leaned her head against his chest. He pulled her closer and whispered in her ear. "I'm glad you're home, Hermione."

* * *

**Daphne Greengrass**

When Daphne left Draco's, she went straight to Blaise's flat. She wanted to vent about her frustrations toward Hermione and knew Theo would just defend her. Blaise had never been particularly attached to Hermione - he'd listen.

As soon as she walked through the door, she started ranting. "I could kill that witch. How dare she abandon him, then show up after a few days like nothing happened. And he took her back! And she probably knew he would. She has such a strong hold on him."

When she looked up at Blaise, he was leaning against the couch and watching her pace the room with an odd expression on his face.

"What?" she asked. He walked to her and stopped just in front of her, then took her hands in his.

"Move in."

"What?" she stepped back, but he kept a firm grip on her hands.

"I love you and you love me, so let's cut through the bullshit. Come live with me. We've already wasted too much time. I know I'm an arsehole, but for some reason you seem okay with that. And I'll try. I just, I just want you here, all the time - looking at me like- yeah, like that," he stopped to smirk and Daphne realized she was giving him her "you are an idiot" face.

She dropped his hands and turned away toward the window. "You don't love me, Blaise. You're just depressed and sad because of Draco's news and looking for comfort. But I'm not one of your slags."

He came up behind her and put his hands on her arms. "No, Daphne, you are so much more than those vapid witches."

Daphne considered giving in then, just this once. They could comfort each other, since they were both clearly hurting, but no, it would be too painful once they inevitably ended it again. He said he loved her, but she wasn't entirely sure Blaise was capable of love. Not romantic love, at least.

She stepped out of his grasp and when she turned to face him, the sincerity on his face caught her off guard, and she almost changed her mind. "I'm sorry, Blaise," she whispered, placing the palm of her hand on his heart. "We're both in pain, but diving into a relationship isn't the solution."

His eyes filled with tears and that further confirmed her suspicion that this declaration of love had been more about his sadness over Draco's death than her. She kissed him on the cheek and turned to the fireplace, resisting one last look over her shoulder before Floo-ing home.

When Daphne arrived back at Greengrass Estate, she paused for a few moments to catch her breath, then slowly made her way to her bedroom. She was halfway down the hall when she heard someone yelling her name behind her. When she turned Blaise was there.

"I said no, Blaise," she said in a stern voice while he quickly closed the distance between them.

"I know, but you didn't hear me out."

Daphne sighed, but knew Blaise was stubborn and she could tell by the determined look in his eyes that he wouldn't leave her alone until he said his piece. "Okay, tell me what you wanted to say."

"I do love you, and it's not just because I'm sad."

"How can you be sure, Blaise?"

He sighed and looked away from her, then said while looking at the portrait on the wall, "I haven't shagged anyone since January."

"Do you think I'm stupid?" she snapped back at him. "I saw you go home with an auburn-haired witch just two nights ago!"

When Blaise looked back at her he didn't look guilty, like someone caught in a lie, but embarrassed. He bit his lip, then said in a rush. "I got it in my head months ago that I should ask you out, but I knew before you'd agree to pursue anything with me, you'd want some type of proof that I was serious about you. So I stopped sleeping with the slags but-" he sighed and looked away from her again.

"But I can't sleep alone, so I still invite them back, but I don't have sex with them." Daphne was shocked. If it was a lie, it was incredibly bold, since it would be so easy for her to check up on.

"But that's not how I know I love you," he continued.

"It isn't?" she whispered and he stepped toward her and cupped her face in his hand.

His tone was serious when he talked again. "I know, because I feel like crying right now, and instead of pushing you away, I just want to hold you."

Tears sprang into Daphne's eyes. She'd never heard Blaise say something so honest and sweet.

He took a deep breath before continuing. "And I know I love you because I just saw Hermione and she said something very stupid and sappy and all I could think was how I wanted to tell you so we could laugh about."

"Hermione was with you?"

"Yeah. She stayed at my flat, and you can yell at me about allowing it later. I'm kind of in the middle of something here."

Daphne nodded but cocked her eyebrow, so he'd know she wasn't going to drop the subject of Hermione staying with him so easily. "How stupid was what she said?" she asked with a smirk.

"Very." He smiled and placed his hands on her hips. "Please give me a chance."

She regarded him for a long time. Could this be real? She'd wanted Blaise to do something like this for so long, but now that it was finally happening, she didn't know what to do. What would Draco say? Probably something sappy. She thought it would include something about taking the risk, even if it hurt, like he had with Hermione. But look at how Hermione had repaid him.

She stepped back and Blaise dropped his hands from her. "I'm scared, Blaise," she said to the floor. "And I'm still not sure you actually love me."

She stepped toward her and lifted her chin, and his dark eyes were intense. "I'm scared too, Daphne." And when she saw the fear and uncertainty in his eyes, so similar to what she was feeling, she decided to give him a chance. Because if not now, then when?

Daphne wondered if her decision flashed in her eyes, because all of a sudden, Blaise was smiling. "You consume my thoughts, waking and sleeping," he said, his eyes bright. "And I was told, once, that that's love."

She linked her hands around his neck and smiled. "Whoever said that sounds very smart."

"Oh, she is. But also mean," he kissed her cheek. "And shallow," he kissed her other cheek. "Manipulative," he kissed the side of her mouth, "and bossy-" she pushed him away before he could kiss her again.

"If you're really wanting me to agree to move in with you, these adjectives better turn positive soon."

He captured her mouth with his and she leaned into the kiss, but before she let herself melt into him, she pushed away and looked at him seriously.

"I'm not a slag, Blaise. Or a warm body to keep you from feeling lonely at night."

"I know, Daphne," he said softly.

"And the second you treat me like one, I'm gone."

"I understand."

"And if I find out this story about not shagging the slags was fake, we're done."

He nodded and smirked back at her. "Anything else?"

"You owe me some positive adjectives, I think, and nothing about my looks," she added in a warning tone.

"Deal. Can I kiss you now, or do want those adjectives right this second?" he teased, leaning into her, but pausing when his mouth was a few inches away from hers.

Daphne gave him a quick kiss, then smirked against his lips. "We can snog for a few minutes, then I want that list."

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

That night, Draco and Hermione didn't talk about the end of the time loop again. They talked instead of the week they'd spent apart as they laid together in bed. She told him about how she'd "blackmailed" Blaise, which he found hilarious since Draco already knew about Blaise paying half-price for the flat and had been the one to tell her in the first place.

He told her about his talk with Theo, Blaise, and Daphne and how each of them had reacted to his news.

She apologized twelve more times for leaving and eventually he asked her to please stop, since it was getting a bit excessive.

Then he apologized for breaking their deal and kissing her in the past, but explained that a part of him had thought he'd been hallucinating. She reassured him that it was nothing compared to what she'd done, then tried to apologize again before he put a hand over her mouth.

After that, they laid in silence, listening to each other's breathing before finally drifting off to sleep. The next morning, they both slept in, which wasn't typical. Draco guessed they'd both missed out on so much sleep during their time apart and needed to catch up.

Now they were sitting on the bed in the spare room, looking at the timeline on the wall with their hands clasped.

Draco sighed. "I guess we know what all that sadness and crying was about."

Hermione started laughing next to him. When he turned to her she shook her head and looked back apologetically. "I know I shouldn't laugh. But I'm so sick of crying."

He nodded and pulled her against his side before they both turned back to the wall.

"Can you show me the blurred parts?" she asked. "I want to see them now."

He lifted his wand and removed the concealment charm. Then erased all the jumps that had already happened. There were only three left.

_Nov 2005 - First obliviation / Nov 2002 - Talk after Halloween Ball_

_Feb 2006 - Walk around London / Mar 2000 - Flourish and Blotts_

_Mar 2006 - First time jump / Jan 2000 - Draco with Lucius_

"Tell me what happened in your first time jump."

When Draco spoke, his voice was flat. He was trying to control his emotions since he, like Hermione, was sick of crying. "I appeared in this house and when you saw me, you broke down crying. You must have known it was the last time you'd see me. Then-" he paused to take a deep breath. "Then you said something lovely, which I won't tell you, but I thought about it many times later. Then I went to my flat and saw Blaise there and left immediately. I went to my bedroom at Malfoy Manor after, and was there for about an hour before returning to my time."

Hermione squeezed his hand and when he looked over at her, she was studying the wall and he could tell she was thinking hard.

"How important was it?" she asked carefully.

Draco knew exactly what she was getting at. He sighed and looked away from her. "You're wondering if it all would have worked out without that moment. Your timeline is complete after that second to last jump, and you're wondering if we stop it there, if it will be enough."

He saw her nod out of the corner of his eye, but he kept his gaze on the wall, focusing on the words there.

"There were so many times in the beginning when I was on the brink of turning away from you. The time jump to our Honeymoon, when I finally decided to stop fighting with you every time I went to the future. The day you confronted me about the kiss and I had to decide whether or not to follow you after you ran off and tell you about the time travel. When you offered to help me with the research.

"All of those times, I thought back to that first jump and what you said to me. Without that-" he turned to look at her and her eyes were lined with tears again, "-I don't think we would have happened."

She nodded and dropped her head. He saw a few tears fall onto her lap. "But, I'm willing to risk it," he added in a rush. "If you want me to take that potion after the February time jump, I will. And maybe it'll be enough for us to end up together."

Hermione was quiet as she considered his words, then she stood up and went to the nightstand. She removed his time traveling notebook and a quill. She tore a piece of parchment out of the notebook, then ripped it in half and handed one piece to Draco. He took the paper and looked at her curiously as she wrote something on her piece and folded it in half. Then she handed the quill to him.

"I'm going to leave the room. Think long and hard about what you really want to do here. Without worrying about my decision. If this was completely up to you, would you take the potion, or let it play out?"

She waved the quill for him to take and he wrapped his hands around it as he thought. "You already wrote yours down?"

She nodded and went to the door. His heart jolted at the thought of her leaving him again. Hermione seemed to notice and was back at his side, kissing him on the cheek. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right on the other side of the door. I just don't want to influence your decision."

"And what if we don't agree?"

She smirked. "Then we argue; one our favorite pastimes."

When she closed the door, Draco started writing immediately. He'd decided as soon as he'd kissed the past Hermione a few days ago what he wanted to do. When he appeared in the hall less than a minute later, she was surprised to see him. "You were supposed to think long and hard."

He shrugged. "You didn't."

"Well, I already knew my decision."

"And I knew mine." He held his folded paper out to her and she handed him hers.

"Ready?" she asked, sounding nervous.

He flicked the paper in his hand open before he thought about it too much and lost his nerve. He let out a sigh of relief when he saw three words scribbled in her messy scrawl: _I choose us._

"Are you sure, Draco?" she asked as she looked down at his note, which said simply: _Hermione._ "This is your life we're talking about."

He grazed her cheek with his knuckle before pulling her in for a kiss. "I don't want to live a life without you in it."

Her face fell at his words and he swore as he realized that that's exactly what she'd have to do after he died. "Fuck. This is going to be so much harder for you. Are you sure?" He held her note up. "You won't even know what you're missing."

"I may not know here," she pointed to her head, "but I'll know here," she moved her hand to her heart.

Draco shook his head, "That was disgustingly sappy."

She smirked. "You love it."

He pulled her close and kissed her again, never wanting to let go, but knowing one day soon, he'd be forced to.

* * *

**Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

"I should probably tell my father he's not dying in a few days," Draco said as they were eating lunch. "I made plans to have dinner at the Manor tonight, so I guess I'll still go and tell him what we decided."

"Let me do it," Hermione said, and Draco answered almost immediately.

"No."

"Really, I think it should be me. I'm the one who went along with his stupid plan in the first place, and I want to explain why I couldn't go through with it."

Draco was giving her that look he did when he was weighing whether it was worth fighting her, or if he should just give in. She sharpened her gaze, so he could see she wasn't about to back down.

"Fine, we'll go together."

"No, I want to go alone."

"Absolutely not."

"He's not dangerous, Draco. And if you're there, he and I won't be able to speak frankly."

Draco sighed and glared down at his food. "It's not worth arguing with you, is it?"

Hermione stood and put her plate in the sink, then marched toward the fireplace in the drawing room. "You're going now?" he asked, alarmed.

"Why not? It's the weekend, so he's probably there, and maybe I'll be able to get an invite to dinner."

"You want to go to dinner with my parents?"

"Yes."

"Liar," he challenged, and she shrugged.

"You're right. It sounds awful. But you'll be there, and that's where I want to be." She turned and walked to the fireplace but stopped before picking up a pile of Floo powder.

"Can I get into the wards without you?"

Draco smirked to himself. "You can apparate in if you want. The house recognizes you as family."

"Oh," Hermione wasn't sure what that meant, but she didn't trust apparition since she didn't know the house very well. She picked up some Floo powder and threw it in the flames, then said, "Parlor, Malfoy Manor," before stepping into the fireplace and spinning out of sight.

An older, female house elf was there to meet her as soon as she stepped out of the flames. The house elf seemed to recognize her as a member of the family too and was calling her "mistress". She offered to bring her tea or take her cloak, before realizing, with alarm, that Hermione wasn't wearing one. Hermione guessed the house elf wasn't used to someone as casual as her.

Hermione asked the house elf for her name (which was Wispy), then asked her politely if Lucius was at home. When Wispy confirmed he was in his study, Hermione asked if she could lead the way, since Hermione needed to speak to him.

Wispy's eyes widened in alarm. "We is not supposed to take visitors to Master's study. We is making them wait in the drawing room, Mistress."

"Oh, right," Hermione started marching to the room across the hall. "I'll wait here, but can you please tell him I'm in here and want to talk to him?"

Wispy considered this, probably trying to ensure it didn't conflict with any of Lucius' previous orders, then she nodded and popped out of sight.

Hermione took a seat on a light blue chair by the window and tried to plan what she was going to say as she waited for Lucius to arrive.

When he appeared in the doorway, she could tell he wasn't surprised to see her and suspected he knew why she was here. He walked slowly into the room and stopped several paces from where she was sitting, asking with unexpected kindness, "Would you like to go to another room?"

Hermione was confused at first, then she realized what he meant. They were in the drawing room where she'd been tortured. She'd barely noticed. She shook her head before dropping his gaze to look down at her lap. "That used to be the worst day of my life. Not anymore."

She saw Lucius take a seat on the couch across from her and he was silent, probably waiting for her to speak first. She took a deep breath, then looked back into his cold, grey eyes. "I couldn't do it. I tried, I really did, but it was wrong."

"You promised."

"I made promises to Draco too. To stay by his side, no matter what."

Lucius nodded again and looked away from her, gazing out the window to his right, but she saw the pain in his eyes before he'd looked away.

"You carried that potion on you for years, didn't you?" she asked.

Lucius nodded and kept looking outside.

"Why didn't you slip it to him? I'm sure you had a few opportunities."

"It crossed my mind a few times," Lucius admitted in a flat voice. "But I couldn't do that to him. I took his free will away once, and I will never do it again."

"I thought so," Hermione said simply. "It was the same for me. I was forcing his hand when I left, and not letting him make the decision for himself. When I came back, I asked him what he would do, if he wasn't thinking about me or what I wanted, and he chose to let the timeline play out."

She saw Lucius' face twitch before he made it completely blank. "It's his life, and his decision, Lucius," she pressed and he gave her one, curt nod. She figured that was the best she was going to get for now.

She got up to leave but he turned to her and asked, "So what now?"

"We live, as best we can, until it ends."

"And children? I know you were talking about having them just a few months ago."

Hermione's heart clenched and she shook her head, looking down at the rug as she responded. "That was a dream. Children are not in our future. I'm sorry that your line will end with Draco," she added in a shaky voice.

"I wasn't trying to save him for the sake of my bloodline," Lucius responded, and Hermione smiled softly, then turned to the hall.

"Oh, I almost forgot," she turned and saw Lucius was studying something outside the window again. When he looked back at her, his face was unreadable.

"I meant to ask about dinner tonight. Draco said he was coming and invited me to join him, but I wanted to make sure that was okay."

"You don't need an invite to come here. This is your house too, even if you don't like it."

She was about to point out that that hadn't been what she meant, but she just shrugged and went back to the parlor. She'd have time to work on mending this relationship with Lucius and didn't have to fix it all in one visit.

* * *

**Lucius Malfoy**

Dinner went better than Lucius expected it to. He hadn't realized how draining it had been, having Draco completely cut off from him, until he suddenly had him back in his life. Lucius hadn't seen Draco this relaxed and content around him in years. He had almost forgotten how quick witted his son was and how when he really smiled, it lit up his whole face.

Draco's eyes weren't that dull, dead grey from the day before, but were silver and gleaming with delight. Lucius was even getting used to how affectionate he and Hermione were. Draco clutched her like he was afraid if he let go, she'd disappear, but Lucius could forgive this slight discourtesy, since she was the source of his radiant energy.

So by the end of dinner, Lucius had decided on a tentative truce with his daughter in law. Her argument earlier that day had been logical (her arguments always were). Lucius hadn't wanted to take Draco's free will, so it wasn't fair for her to try to do the same, and if Draco wanted to trade a long life for the limited time he got to spend with Hermione, it was his choice to make. Even though it broke Lucius' heart.

After dinner, Narcissa excused herself to make a quick Floo-call and Lucius invited Hermione into his study.

"Yes, Draco, you can come too and make sure I don't kill her," Lucius drawled when he saw Draco tighten his grip on Hermione's hand.

When they got to the office, Lucius directed her attention to the family clock. She gasped when she saw it, then walked close to it. He saw her reading the French inscription on the bottom. "What does it mean?"

Both Draco and Lucius answered at the same time. "Bonded by blood, united by love."

Lucius saw her lips turn up as she went back to study the clock. All four hands were currently at the _Malfoy Manor_ position. "Is this what you meant when you said the house accepted me?" she asked Draco. He smiled and nodded back at her.

"But it doesn't accept your surname," Lucius added with a smirk.

She rolled her eyes, then she turned to Lucius and crossed her arms. "So the house accepts me, but about you, Lucius? Your reasons for hating me are all still valid. If it wasn't for me, Draco would probably take that potion."

Draco went to her side. Lucius saw him glaring at him from the corner of his eye, but he kept his eyes focused on Hermione's bold stare. "There are worse witches Draco could have chosen," he said evenly.

Hermione smiled brightly and Draco pulled her into his side and kissed her temple, then muttered, "Yes, like every other witch in the world." Lucius turned away so they could have their moment.

"So, will you stop making her life miserable at work?" Draco asked and when Lucius looked back at him his eyes were challenging.

"Oh, I meant to tell you," Hermione cut in, before Lucius could respond. "I'm quitting."

"What?" Lucius was as surprised as Draco. This witch had an unmatched work ethic and probably had never quit anything in her life.

Hermione wrapped her arm around Draco. "I'm not going to waste the time I have left with you working. I'm sure after you leave, I'll want to throw myself back into it, but until then, I'm going to step back. I'll come up with some excuse about taking care of an ill family member and I'm sure Kingsley will argue at first, but ultimately understand."

She looked back at Lucius, "It wouldn't hurt though, if you could put in a good word when I'm ready to return."

Draco was glaring at Lucius again. He nodded his assent before changing the subject. "We should get back. Your mother will be wondering where we are."

"When should we tell her?" Draco asked and Lucius made his face blank.

"You know better than most that ignorance is bliss. Let her enjoy this time with the family reunited. At least for a few months."

Later that night, after Draco and Hermione had returned home, Narcissa asked him, while combing her hair in front of the vanity, "What finally changed your mind about her?"

Lucius considered his response for a long time before answering. "I've never seen Draco as alive as he is with her."

Narcissa watched him for a while from the mirror. "She's not as terrible as she could be. I know her blood status isn't ideal, but some of these pureblood witches can be so vapid. I guess it could be worse. If Draco had ended up with one of those, I would have been disappointed."

She watched his reaction carefully but he made sure his face didn't give anything away. Then she put her brush down and turned to face him. "I expect you to tell me the real reason you originally disapproved, Lucius."

He smirked. His wife was too clever. "I will, Narcissa. But not now."

She turned back to the vanity and started brushing her hair again. "Okay. I'm sure it will be a good story once you deem me worthy enough to hear it," she said sardonically.

"It will be," he said simply, not rising to her bait.

She sighed, "You and your secrets, Lucius. Anyway, I agree. Draco is incredibly happy with her, and there's no denying she adores him, just as completely as he adores her. And her looks, I'd originally thought her plain, but when she does her hair and wears those clothes Daphne obviously picked out for her, she's quite pretty. Their children will be attractive."

Lucius could tell she was studying him again, probably wondering if he'd make a comment about half-blood grandchildren. "I'm sure they will be," he said in an even voice.

She knew he was holding back, but he'd let her assume it was about blood purity. The real reason for his apprehension was so much worse, and he dreaded the day when he'd have to tell her the truth.

* * *

**Daphne Greengrass**

"Thank you for coming. I didn't think you would." Hermione said when Daphne walked into the room.

"Draco made a good case for you. I'm mostly here for him."

"Right," Hermione dropped her head, clearly disappointed. "I have something for you," she handed Daphne a small box wrapped in elaborate, silver paper.

"What is it?" Daphne asked without taking it.

"It's a perfume from France that Astoria told me you'd like." Hermione shook the gift in the air and Daphne reluctantly took it and shoved it into her bag.

"Daphne, I was devastated when I heard Draco's news and I got it in my head that I had to save his life at all costs. I realized my mistake after only a few days. And I'm sorry I left him in such a bad state. But he's forgiven me, so why can't you?"

Hermione was looking at Daphne with those large, innocent brown eyes and it was impossible to stay mad at her. "It's possible I've been using this anger to distract me from the unfathomable sorrow threatening to consume me," she said weakly and when Hermione wrapped her arm around her, Daphne broke down into sobs.

Hermione stroked her hair while she cried and told her everything would be okay.

"Why aren't you crying?" Daphne asked when she was done.

"Oh, I think in the past few weeks I've cried a hundred times more than I have in my whole life put together. I'm all out for now, but I'm sure I'll be at it again soon." She sighed heavily. "Sometimes, I think about Draco's death and I am at peace with it, because I think it's better than the alternative - giving up our life together. Then a moment later it will hit me, that he's going to be gone, forever, and I completely break down, just as I did when I heard it for the first time."

Daphne nodded, unsure what to say. Hermione was the strongest person she knew, so if anyone could get through this, it was her. Then again, Draco was everything to her. It was impossible to imagine her without him.

"I was going to ask how you were doing," Daphne said eventually, "but I guess that's a stupid question."

Hermione sighed again. "It's okay. When we first found out, there was this huge barrier between me and Draco. I think we were both unsure what we wanted to do, and worried once we figured it out, the other person wouldn't agree. But now that we got all that out of the way and are committed to enjoying the time we have left together as much as we can, it's better."

"That's the saddest thing I ever heard," Daphne said honestly, her eyes were welling with tears again.

"I agree," Hermione said matter-of-factly. "Anyway, can we be friends again?" she gave Daphne a small smile.

Daphne wiped her tears with a handkerchief, then nodded. "Yes. It turns out your abandonment wasn't completely without its merits. Whatever you and Blaise talked about shocked him out of his indifference and he declared his love for me and asked me to move into his flat."

"What?!" Hermione jumped up. "What did you say?"

"I said yes, of course. I've been living there for a week now and so far it's been good."

"That's wonderful! Why didn't you start with that?"

"I didn't want to rub it in, since you're so sad."

Hermione's eyes filled with sorrow and she looked down and nodded. Daphne reached for her hand and squeezed it.

"Draco's not really going to die, right? You and Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are going to do something to save him, aren't you?"

Hermione squeezed her hand back. "I have to tell them first." Then she lifted her head and her eyes were serious. "But yes, Daphne. I think he's going to die. But I understand if you need to pretend otherwise, for a little while."

Just then, Hermione looked so much older to Daphne. Like someone who had seen too much, and she guessed that was true. She'd lived through a war, death, torture, and hate. She'd also experienced true love, deep friendships, and unmatched loyalty. That's when Daphne decided to forgive her for her earlier lapse in judgement, because right now, Hermione needed all her friends by her side.

* * *

**Theo Nott**

Theo had been crying almost non-stop for a solid week (but only when no one was looking). He was glad Hermione had found her way back home. Draco had told Theo earlier that day that her hand on the Malfoy clock wasn't at the _Lost_ position anymore.

Theo didn't have a family clock, but he bet his hand would be at the _Lost_ position now, if he did.

He had no idea what he was supposed to feel. He was sad his friend was dying and sad too for Hermione, who he knew would be devastated. On the other hand, he was relieved Draco hadn't chosen to save himself, since Theo didn't want to live in a timeline where Draco and Hermione hadn't gotten together. She'd brought their entire friend group closer together.

If Theo hadn't ever met Hermione, he didn't think he'd have found the courage to come out of the closet. He never would have met Charles. He also never would have gotten together with Bennett. What did that say about him, though? That he was selfish and worried about his own happiness over Draco's life.

To add to all these confusing emotions, Blaise and Daphne were apparently together now, which was either going to be good, or an incredible disaster. Theo also didn't know where he stood with Bennett at the moment. That blissful bubble of a new relationship had burst the day Theo had dismissed him from Nott Manor.

So when Fawcett came to tell Theo that Bennett had come to call, Theo was shocked. He checked his appearance, but there was no hiding his puffy eyes, before going to meet Bennett.

Bennett was standing at the far wall in the drawing room, examining one of the portraits with a large bag slung over his shoulder when Theo walked in. He looked back at Theo and his eyes were worried. "You look awful, Theo. Are you okay?"

Theo closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he tried to come up with a good excuse to explain his recent behavior, but nothing came to mind. He felt a hand on his shoulder and when he opened his eyes Bennett was right in front of him, his blue eyes swimming with concern.

Theo fell apart then and Bennett pulled him close and let him cry into his shoulder. It was very embarrassing. Theo thought it was surely over now, but he'd take this small comfort while Bennett was offering it.

"Can you tell me what's wrong?" Bennett asked once Theo's sobs started to subside.

Theo shook his head and kept his forehead down, against Bennett's shoulder, too ashamed to look up at him. "I understand. You don't need to."

Theo kept his head down as long as he could, but soon the silence grew too awkward and he figured it was time to finally say goodbye. When Theo looked back at Bennett, he was surprised to find him smiling. He'd expected to see pity, or maybe disgust. "I thought you'd need cheering up and I brought something," Bennett held the bag he'd been holding open. Theo peered inside and saw a host of baking utensils.

He couldn't help but laugh. "I'm actually awful at baking. I tried a few times with Charles and failed miserably. It turns out I'm only good at critiquing it."

"No worries. I'll bake and you can critique me. Now where's your kitchen?"

Theo stepped back and crossed his arms. "Why are you here? Especially after I dismissed you so rudely, threatened you, then returned all your owls unanswered."

Bennett nodded seriously but there was a twinkle in his eyes. "You forgot the work memos you ignored and the concert you skipped."

Theo narrowed his eyes and stayed silent.

Bennet just shrugged and said simply, "I'm here, because I love you."

Theo felt sick and took another step back. "It's only been three months."

"Do you not love me?"

Theo thought about it seriously. Honestly, he didn't know. He loved Hermione and Draco, and even Daphne and Blaise sometimes. He loved his mother, but only in a dutiful way. He'd never loved anyone romantically before, so how was he supposed to know?

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "I'd never thought about it before. Maybe."

Bennett nodded, then shrugged. "Well, that's certainly not the best declaration of love I've received, but I'll take what I can get. Now come on. I'm sure a house like this has an excellent kitchen."

"I was awful to you, then ignored you, then cried like a child and ruined your shirt, then didn't return the sentiment when you said you loved me, and you're still staying?" Theo asked in disbelief.

"Yes, It looks like it. Would you prefer if I left?"

"No," Theo said quickly, and Bennett smirked.

"Good, now can we move to the kitchen? You can tell me more reasons I shouldn't love you once we get there, if you want."

"It's a long list," Theo warned as he smiled for the first time in days.

"You're nothing if not thorough, Theo. I'd be disappointed if it wasn't."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The book of poems Hermione is reading at the beginning were from Lang Leav. The quote about life is from Kafka.
> 
> In the middle of Draco and Hermione's tragedy, at least the other Slytherins are falling in love. I know this whole Draco dying business is very depressing, and I did promise a happy ending, so please bear with me as I slowly make my way over to it. Thanks for sticking with me so far!
> 
> Thanks as always to my beta readers Lancashire Witch and Kimmeh B. Come see me on Tumblr (Alexandra-Emerson) for more content related to this story.
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Mon, Jan-11.


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43**

_She looked up at the sky and whispered, take anything away from me, take it all if you want to; but please- please just let me keep this one thing._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: September 2005 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Bennett Clark **

"How often do you see Harry Potter?" Bennett asked, as he put on his outer robes.

Theo shrugged. "I see him almost every day, at work. We usually arrive around the same time and share a lift."

"You know that's not what I mean. I mean like this. Socially."

Theo shrugged again. "He's been here a few times. I've never been to his house. Which I told him the other day was rude, seeing as how he's been to mine, but he just laughed. I don't know. Every few months?"

"You say that like it's nothing special," Bennett muttered. He looked in the mirror one last time before turning to Theo, who was looking back at him with his arms crossed.

"Are you just with me because of my proximity to Potter? Is he who you're really after? Because I should warn you, he is decidedly not gay. He's not even bisexual, as far as I can tell."

Bennett smirked. "And how do you know that? Did you make a move and get rejected?" He was in front of the fireplace now and picked up some Floo powder. He waited for Theo before throwing it in, since he didn't know Hermione and Draco's address.

"Don't think I didn't notice you dodging that previous question," Theo grumbled, but Bennett could see his lips turning up slightly. "Okay. Ready to try meeting my friends again?"

"Of course. Just tell me where we're going."

Theo narrowed his eyes at him. "You're a lot more eager, this time, than you were before."

"Well, your friends will be mixed in with nice people this time. It's much less threatening."

Theo rolled his eyes. "Nice? Potter and Weasley are capable of biting sarcasm that rivals Blaise's. And Potter's wife, she can be vicious. Especially when you insult her family or tell her all the reasons Quidditch is stupid," he added in an undertone.

Before Bennett could respond, Theo spoke Hermione and Draco's address and walked into the green flames. Bennett followed him and walked out into an elegant, though sparsely decorated, room. Theo was in the doorway already and was removing his outer robes, so Bennett did the same.

Theo hung their robes in a hall closet and cocked his head toward the back of the house where Bennett heard muffled voices. He was suddenly nervous. Not only was he about to see the intimidating Daphne and Blaise again and meet Draco Malfoy for the first time, but he was about to see Harry Potter. Not just him, but he, Hermione, and Ron Weasley together. Just like they had been when defeating You-Know-Who. He knew Theo was casual about it, but he was casual about everything. This was a big deal.

There were about a dozen people in the back garden and a few balloons strewn about. There was a long table pushed up against the house which Bennett guessed they'd move to the center of the yard when it was time to eat. Hermione greeted them first and Bennett was glad to see a familiar face.

He hadn't seen her at the Ministry for a while and when he asked Theo about it the other day, he'd said she'd taken a leave of absence. It was clear from his tone he didn't want to discuss it further. Bennett had wondered if it was related to whatever Theo had to run off to help Draco with a few weeks before, but he knew better than to ask.

Hermione looked well, though a little thinner than he remembered. Her eyes looked haunted, but her smile was bright. Theo wished her a happy birthday then lowered his voice and asked, "How are you doing?" in the kind of tone people used when they knew something was wrong.

Hermione nodded once, then smiled and turned to Bennett. "Let me introduce you to Draco."

Draco Malfoy wasn't what Bennett had expected. He'd expected a younger version of Lucius Malfoy, and although there was a resemblance, Draco was less imposing than the current head of the Malfoy family. However, that wasn't to say he didn't have a strong presence. He held himself with an easy confidence that Bennett didn't think he'd ever manage and there was an unmistakable intelligence behind his eyes that reminded Bennett of Blaise's calculating glares. The few times Draco really smiled, it lit up his whole face and Bennett couldn't help but smile in turn, though he seemed to reserve those smiles for Hermione only.

Besides all that, everyone at the party seemed drawn to Draco. Bennett had caught Harry and Ron watching him several times. The Slytherins always seemed to be aware of where he was, like they were ready to do his bidding as soon as he asked for something. Or maybe, Bennett was just reading into things too much. This was Draco's house, after all, so it made sense that he would seem like the leader here. Bennett was curious to see if this type of dynamic would translate when everyone was at Nott Manor.

One thing about Draco Malfoy was clear. He did not like Bennett. When Hermione introduced them, he was cold and quickly excused himself. Hermione gave Bennett an apologetic smile but was pulled away by the arrival of new guests before she could make an excuse for her husband.

"What's wrong with him?" Bennett asked Theo.

Theo shrugged and said in a bored tone, "He's moody."

Bennett continued to watch Draco and he seemed fine with everyone else. He was joking good-naturedly with Harry and Ron, which was odd to see after that epic rivalry Bennett remembered from school. He teased Neville and Hannah, worked with Luna and Parvati to make balloon animals around the yard, and hugged his wife any chance he got.

Bennett began to suspect Draco had a problem with Theo and was taking it out on Bennett, but he caught Theo and Draco talking seriously at the edge of the yard and even saw them embrace at the end, so it wasn't that. It was just Bennett Draco had a problem with. He'd have to ask Theo about it later.

When Bennett met Harry, Theo embarrassed him, of course. "Potter, this is my boyfriend, Bennett Clark. I recently learned he's only been dating me to get an autograph from you." Then Theo smirked at Bennett and left him alone with Harry.

Harry cocked an eyebrow at him. "You could have just asked. You didn't have to go through the trouble of dating Theo. That is commitment though, especially given how unpleasant he is."

They shared a laugh and Bennett tried his best to recover and Harry was a good sport about it. Bennett was surprised and impressed by how normal Harry Potter was. Every time he saw him at work, he was serious and intimidating. Maybe that was because he had a serious and intimidating job, and the Auror robes always made people look especially impressive.

Bennett had expected Harry to command attention, like Draco did. Instead, he disappeared into the background, and was primarily in one-on-one conversations. He spent most of the day sitting on the side of the yard with an arm wrapped around his pregnant wife, while he watched his friends with a smile on his face.

Ron Weasley was the most garrulous by far. He and his wife were the life of the party while Draco and Hermione were its silent leaders. Bennett remembered an article where Ron had told the interviewer that Harry's job in the war was to save the world, Hermione's job was to figure out how, and his job was to entertain the other two. Bennet could see that. Though every so often Bennett saw a flicker of sadness cross Ron's face and every time, it was when he was looking at Hermione and Draco.

Bennett began to focus on the rest of the group more and noticed that whatever was causing this sadness wasn't something everyone seemed to be in on. Luna, Rolf, Neville, Hannah, and Parvati seemed to be exempt.

Bennett was currently talking to Luna Lovegood and her boyfriend, who had fascinating stories about their magizoologist jobs. Neville and Hannah joined the conversation, but Bennett had to tear himself away. He'd prefer to pass the whole day talking to that group, but he was here for Theo and these weren't Theo's friends. He forced himself to cross the yard and approach Blaise and Daphne, who were sitting apart from the group with their heads together, laughing.

"Bennett Clark," Daphne said with a smile and Bennett couldn't tell if it was real or meant to be ironic. He conjured a chair and sat next to her anyway.

"Nice to see you again, Daphne. Blaise," Bennett nodded to each of them.

"You're not a very good liar," Daphne said bluntly.

"Do I get points for trying?" Bennett asked, trying to stay upbeat.

Daphne looked over at Blaise and smirked whilst Blaise shrugged before saying to Bennett, "Sure. Take five points for Hufflepuff."

The conversation was hard to keep up with. There always seemed to be another meaning to what Blaise and Daphne were saying. Bennett's head hurt from trying to determine what the Slytherins weren't saying and replying appropriately. He just wanted to go back and have an easy conversation with Hermione's friends, but he guessed this was some sort of test and tried his best to stay engaged. Hopefully, once he passed, they'd go back to talking like normal people.

Bennett looked for Theo a few times, hoping he'd come rescue him, but he was in the middle of what looked like a serious conversation with Hermione. At least Blaise and Daphne seemed to be in good spirits and Bennett guessed it was because they'd recently started dating. Near the end of the conversation both of their gazes turned sad at the same time and Bennett turned to find them looking at Draco and Hermione, who were kissing at the other end of the yard.

"They're very affectionate," Bennett said under his breath, more to himself than to Daphne and Blaise.

"Yes. They're very much in love," Daphne said brusquely, before excusing herself.

Blaise gave Bennett an accusing glare before following her. Bennett shook his head. He had a few theories about what was going on and took some time to sort through them. He knew even before the party there was something wrong with Draco and Hermione. That had been why drinks at Theo's, with the Slytherins, had been cut short. He assumed Theo's crying was related.

After overhearing Hermione tell Harry and Ron earlier that it wouldn't have offended her if they'd brought their children today, he thought maybe she'd had a miscarriage or had recently found out she couldn't have kids. It would explain why a lot of people looked at them sadly, but would Theo cry over that? Likely not.

Bennett sighed. This wasn't his business. He went inside the house to use the loo and on his way out, he heard the couple in question talking in the sitting room. Against his better judgement, he paused in the hall and listened to them.

"How are you?" Bennett heard Draco ask.

"I'm fine. This was perfect. Thank you for setting it up."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm glad you included people who don't know. It's keeping everyone from talking about it."

That confirmed Bennett's earlier suspicion that not everyone knew the cause of the sadness hanging over the party.

Bennett heard Draco sigh, then Hermione whispered. "Don't cry, Draco." Draco Malfoy was crying? Bennett could not picture that. Whatever was going on was very bad then.

Draco whispered something back that Bennett couldn't hear, but thought he heard the words "last birthday" and "miss you" in the middle.

Bennett shook his head and scolded himself for spying. His mother would be appalled at his rudeness. He went back to the washroom and washed his hands again, then slammed the door, loudly, before walking straight back outside.

When he returned to the yard, he saw Theo talking to Ginny Potter and approached them.

"How can you work in Magical Games and Sports and hate Quidditch?" she was asking. Bennett rolled his eyes. This was a conversation he'd had with Theo a lot.

"There are other games in the world besides Quidditch," Theo snapped back. "Plus, it's not like the other departments were dying to hire me."

"Well, I can't imagine why not," she said sarcastically. "With that winning personality, I'm sure your interview skills are unmatched."

"Fuck you, Mrs. Potter."

She smirked, "Back at you, Nott."

"Where were you?" Theo asked Bennett.

"The loo," Bennett responded, trying to forget the disturbing conversation he'd overheard.

* * *

Bennett tried to talk to Draco one more time. Draco dismissed himself again, saying he needed to help Potter and Weasley setup for dinner, though that didn't seem to be a three person job. There was something here, more than the sadness hanging around Draco. He was colder to Bennett than anyone else.

The dinner was catered by one of Bennett's favorite restaurants in Diagon Alley. When Bennett asked Theo why they hadn't just gone there, since he knew the restaurant had a private room for parties like this, Theo explained that Hermione and Draco avoided going out in public together, whenever they could.

"And this group, with all of us combined, is especially noteworthy," Theo said simply before turning to ask Blaise something. Bennett nodded and reviewed the group again. He was right.

The Slytherins were famous on their own. Mixed with the Golden Trio, a former Quidditch star, and even Neville and Luna were well-known; it was a pretty remarkable group when together. Bennett couldn't believe his luck at getting to eat dinner with all of them.

When it was time for gifts, Bennett thought it odd that Hermione was the one who passed them out. "Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?" Bennett muttered to Theo.

Theo smirked. "Not for Hermione."

Bennett was surprised he'd gotten a gift too and was about to protest when Theo placed a hand on his arm, "Wait until you open it, really. You'll probably wish you'd been forgotten." He was smirking and Bennett was more confused than before.

It turned out that what Hermione wanted for her birthday each year, was to dictate one book for each of her friends to read, then have them discuss it with her once they were done. This was met with varied levels of excitement around the table.

Neville was thrilled to find a book on Advanced Herbology he hadn't read before, while Ginny seemed to be dreading hers and was relieved to find it was the same book she'd received last year.

"I took that from your house and could tell you hadn't touched it," Hermione scolded. "But you get a pass because you're pregnant and have a troublesome toddler at home."

When Bennett went to open his, Ron shouted from the other end of the table, "Don't bother. We all know what it is."

There was a collective groan and everyone said, "Hogwarts, a History," at once.

Sure enough, that was the title of Bennett's large, thick book. "She always gives that first," Daphne explained.

"Because it's an excellent read," Hermione said defensively.

"Why do you bother buying it?" Ron asked. "You know we could just pass along the same copy to every new member of the group."

"But then you wouldn't have your own copy, for later reference," Hermione pointed out, ignoring Ron's large eye roll. "And I want to support the author," she said to Harry, and they shared a knowing look.

Bennett thanked her and when it was Theo's turn everyone seemed interested. The conversation stopped while he opened his gift. "Well?" Daphne asked.

"I've read it."

"Dammit Theo! How did you find that book?" Hermione exclaimed from across the table.

Theo shrugged and was smirking back at her, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "I liked the last book you gave me, so I read up on that bloke and found an article where he listed his top five favorite books, and I read those too. This was on the list," he waved the book she'd given him in his hand.

"Your boyfriend's a show-off," Daphne explained to Bennett. "They always have this back and forth to see how many tries it will take until she finds something he hasn't read yet."

"You read too much," Hermione snapped back, and the irony caused everyone to laugh.

"You can always let me get you a real gift," Theo responded.

"No. Only Draco gets to do that. Sorry, Theo. I'll find something else for you."

Sure enough, when they reached the end, Draco hadn't gotten a book. "You're exempt, as always," she said, kissing him on the cheek.

"You know I'll read whatever you want. Just name the title. I don't have your gift tonight though. It's coming this weekend."

He looked over at Harry and Hermione caught the interchange. "Harry helped?"

Draco rolled his eyes. "I am perfectly capable of getting you a gift without Potter's help."

"It was actually me," Ron chimed in. "Harry was supposed to do it, but he got busy so Malfoy and I worked on it together."

"You can't let me have the full credit for this?" Draco asked, annoyed.

"Nope."

"I'm very intrigued now," Hermione cut in.

"You should be," Draco said before kissing her temple and going inside to get the cake.

* * *

Later that night, while Bennett and Theo lay in bed both trying to fall asleep, Bennett's mind was still racing after all the excitement from Hermione's birthday party. It had been very enjoyable and Bennett couldn't remember the last time he'd had such a good time.

Bennett looked over at Theo and saw he was looking up at the ceiling, but his eyes were unfocused. Bennett had been debating bringing up his suspicions about Draco and Hermione all night and he thought maybe Theo would want to talk to someone about it. Bennett turned on his pillow to look at Theo before asking, "One of them is dying, aren't they?"

Theo bit his lip and kept his gaze up. Bennett wondered if he would respond. Theo was open with Bennett about most things, but he was also fiercely protective of his friends. Bennett still hadn't forgotten his cold threat from that day at Nott Manor. Eventually, Theo gave Bennett one nod and closed his eyes. A single tear fell down his cheek and landed on the pillow.

Bennett let out a sad sigh. He'd thought that was the most likely explanation, but hoped he'd been wrong. "And they can't fix it? With his money and her notoriety, I assume St. Mungo's would bend over backward for them."

"It can be fixed," Theo said in a dead voice, "but the price is not one they're willing to pay, and that's all I'll say about it."

"Just tell me which one is dying," Bennett pressed, though he thought he already knew.

"Draco," Theo's voice cracked, and he turned so his back was to Bennett.

Bennett could tell Theo was crying again and he rubbed his back comfortingly. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it, Theo?"

Theo shook his head. A few minutes later, he shifted so he was facing the ceiling again and wiped his eyes with the sheet.

"I guess that's why they looked so in love," Bennett said tentatively, wondering if Theo would be okay with Bennett talking about it.

Theo shook his head again and kept his eyes on the ceiling. "They were like that before." Bennett remembered how Draco was with Hermione, and the conversation he'd overheard between them and his heart clenched in pain.

"Do they know how long he has?"

"March," Theo said quickly. Bennett thought that was oddly specific and alarmingly soon.

Theo was quiet for a few minutes and Bennett started speaking, in an effort to get Theo talking again. "Well, I feel especially stupid. I spent the whole day worried that Draco didn't like me, but it makes sense why he was so cold. He has a lot more to be concerned about than me."

When he looked at Theo, he noticed he had a guilty expression on his face. "Wait," Bennett said. "There's something else. Some other reason he doesn't like me, and you know what it is."

"It's nothing about you personally. Just drop it."

"How could it not be personal? He was decent with everyone else at that party. Just tell me what it is."

Theo sighed and rolled his eyes, then turned to face Bennett. "He's worried about Hermione and what's going to happen to her when he's gone. So, he asked me to move into their house, after he dies, but I declined, because of you."

"Is that something you would have done if we weren't dating?"

Theo shrugged. "Yeah. Why not? He said she has a lot of nightmares and he doesn't want her to have to be alone. I'd do anything for her; I've told you that."

"But wouldn't it be weird, pretending to take the place of her husband?"

"I'm gay," Theo argued. "It's not like there'd be anything romantic between us. Plus, I think it will take a long time for her to date again after Draco."

"I still think it's weird."

Theo shrugged again, then smirked. "Draco said I could marry her, if I wanted. As long as I promised not to sleep with her or snog her, but he said a peck on the cheek every so often was okay."

Bennett was flabbergasted. "This has to be a joke. There is no way you two seriously had this conversation."

"The marriage part was obviously a joke, but the rest of it was real. Anyway, that's why he doesn't like you, because you got in the way of his plan."

Bennett was still stunned at the reason behind Draco's coldness toward him. "You have to see how strange that would have been, had you agreed, right, Theo?"

Theo's eyes flashed with anger and he sat up in the bed. "Hermione is the most incredible person I know. When she came into the Wizarding World half the people she met rejected her, but she risked her life to save it anyway and continues to work tirelessly to make it a better place. And after years of struggling to belong she found someone who makes her happy, but he's going to be ripped away from her."

Theo stood up and started putting his shirt on. "So, in a few months, when she wakes up terrified in the middle of the night, thinking she's back in the war, being tortured again and is reminded by the empty spot next to her in bed, that her husband is dead, why wouldn't I be willing to be there, to give her a small amount of comfort? To remind her she's not alone and that there are still people in the world who love her?"

"Theo, stop." Bennett said quickly. "I didn't mean to upset you. Please don't go."

Theo ignored him and pulled his pants on. "I told you I might choose my friends over you. This time I didn't, but you still have a problem with it."

"Theo, please, I don't have a problem-" Before Bennett could finish, Theo disapparated.

Bennett swore, then stood up and started putting his own clothes back on. He should have known better than to press Theo, especially about Hermione. He was incredibly sensitive when it came to Hermione. Bennett often thought that if he could get Theo to love him half as much as he loved her, they'd be the strongest couple he knew.

"Shite," Bennett swore again. His friend Samantha had told him that Theo seemed like a really hard person to love, but she was wrong. It was easy for Bennett to love him; it was just getting him to love Bennett back that was the problem.

Theo was especially guarded when it came to Bennett. This wasn't the first time he'd created a fight out of nowhere, then run off, and now Bennett had a hint of what was behind it. Theo was scared of falling in love with Bennett, then losing him, just like what was happening with Draco and Hermione.

Though Bennett wasn't a Hufflepuff for nothing. Blaise and Daphne could make fun of his house all they wanted, but Hufflepuffs were loyal above all else. Theo would have to try harder than this to get rid of him.

Once he was dressed, he got his wand, ready to apparate to the front gates of Nott Manor. Hopefully Theo would let him in tonight, but if he didn't, Bennett would try again the next morning, and again after that. Since he knew right now what Theo needed most was a reminder that he, like Hermione, was not alone and there were people in the world who loved him.

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

Draco's birthday gift for Hermione turned out to involve a trip to Hogwarts. She looked at him confused when they reached the front doors of the castle. "Are you finally going to explain what the gift is?"

He nodded and she could tell he was nervous. "The last time we were here together, you told me it's still hard for you to come back here because most of your memories of us from Hogwarts are bad."

He remembered that? She'd told that to the Draco from 2002 when they'd come to the Anniversary of the Final Battle last May. She didn't think he'd remember it, all these years later.

"And I know we've had better conversations since," he continued, and she guessed he was referring to that same time jump, when he'd told her he was falling in love with her. "But those are still associated with the war, because we've only come back for the Anniversary."

She nodded, but still didn't get what the gift was. Draco turned back to the castle and put his hand on the handle of one of the doors. "We're going to make better memories today. I know you're going to keep coming back here, and I want you to have good thoughts of us when you do." He opened the door and motioned for her to go inside.

"How did Ron play into all this?" Hermione asked once they were both in the Entrance Hall.

Draco rolled his eyes. "He's my handler now, so he needed to log my travel. He insisted on accompanying me last week when I came to talk to McGonagall, but I would have been fine without him. Anyway, it's a Hogsmeade weekend, as I'm sure you noticed when we apparated in, so the castle will be mostly empty."

Hermione looked around. Sure enough the Entrance Hall was oddly quiet and there were soft voices coming from the Great Hall, but nothing like the sound of a full castle.

"Do you think it's stupid?" Draco was studying her, his brow furrowed.

"Of course not. I'm excited. But - well - I'm a little confused about what we're going to do," she admitted.

"Ahh, that's simple," he reached out for her hand and linked his fingers with hers, pulling her to the door that led to the dungeons. "We're going to do my favorite thing to do with you."

She raised her eyebrows in alarm.

"Not shagging. Talking, you dirty-minded witch. We just shagged this morning. You are insatiable!" he said with mock exasperation.

"You said it all suggestively like that on purpose," Hermione argued. They passed two very young-looking Slytherins on the stairs. They were both silent until they heard the door to the Entrance Hall close above them, then they burst out laughing.

"Do you think they heard us?" Hermione asked, worriedly.

Draco shook his head. "I don't care. Now come along."

* * *

They spent the day walking hand in hand around the castle, starting at the bottom and slowly working their way up to the towers. Draco explained that they should share their fondest memories with two strict rules: nothing heavy and nothing with the other person in it.

It turned out that they each had a lot of random, small memories from school that the other didn't know anything about and the hours passed by quickly. When they stopped in the library, Draco insisted on snogging for a few minutes in one of the deserted aisles. Hermione agreed, only after he reassured her that he'd never kissed another witch in the library.

For lunch, Hermione showed Draco the kitchens, surprised he'd never found his way there during school. They talked to Kreacher, who was happy to finally properly meet the last living Black heir.

When they were done with the inside of the castle, they walked around the grounds and cast water repellent charms since it was drizzling slightly. After walking around the castle and swapping stories about the greenhouses, the Forbidden Forest, and Quidditch, Hermione stopped on the path and looked back at Draco with a wicked grin. "I need to break one of the rules."

He crossed his arms. "For someone in Magical Law Enforcement, you are very bad at following rules."

She ignored Draco and pulled him to a spot several feet off the path, then she backed up a few paces. "One of my fondest memories happened right here. You were standing there, and I was standing here. Do you remember?"

He rolled his eyes. "I have no idea what you're talking about," but she could tell by the look of amusement on his face that he was lying.

"That was the first time I'd ever slapped anyone." She walked to him and hugged his middle, then traced a finger along his jaw. "But you healed up just fine, didn't you?"

Draco shook his head. "I can't believe you broke the rules. We almost made it all day." He took her hand and pulled her back to the castle. "Now, come on. McGonagall had one condition for letting us in today and it was that we have tea with her before leaving."

* * *

Tea with McGonagall was tense at first and Hermione could tell she was on edge. Most people who knew Draco before were initially tense when they encountered the two of them together, but eventually the headmistress relaxed. She caught them up on what had been going on at Hogwarts, while Hermione and Draco talked about their jobs. They left out the part about how they were both currently on leave.

When tea was finished, Draco asked McGonagall if he could have a few words with Snape's portrait. Both Snape and Dumbledore had been gone from their frames during tea, but at McGonagall's request, Snape came back. She and Hermione went to the hall while Draco stayed inside.

"He really has changed, hasn't he?" McGonagall asked Hermione once they were alone.

Hermione smiled and tried to keep the sadness that always lingered in the back of her mind from showing on her face. "He has. It's not just me he's made amends with, but Harry and Ron, too."

"Yes. I saw that when Mr. Weasley and Mr. Malfoy came to visit me last week."

"Thank you for letting us come today, Headmistress. It really meant a lot."

McGonagall looked at Hermione sternly, then her eyes softened, and she placed a hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay, my dear?"

Hermione nodded and looked down at her feet. McGonagall knew her so well and had clearly picked up on her melancholy. "Sorry. I have something going on with my family that's got me down lately, but I really am okay."

Draco came out of the office after just a few minutes and they bid McGonagall farewell before walking to the Entrance Hall. Hermione asked Draco what he'd wanted to say to Snape and Draco just said vaguely that he'd been meaning to thank him for awhile.

When they were in the second floor corridor, walking toward the main stairwell, Hermione stopped in place.

"What?" Draco asked, turning to look at her.

"Are you going to be a portrait? I've seen that hall at the Manor with all the Malfoys. Will you appear there?"

Hermione's heartbeat seemed to have slowed and was pounding loudly in her ears as she waited for his response. He sighed heavily and dropped his head. "Yes," he whispered.

She felt the beginning of relief flow through her, but before it could reach her chest, he looked at her sharply and his eyes were dark and serious. "Promise me you won't go looking for it. I'm going to ask my father to hide it."

"What? Why?"

Draco reached out for her hand and kissed it, then pulled her against his chest. "Portraits can be very dangerous, Hermione. There are a lot of stories of wizards in mourning, who have gone mad obsessing over portraits of their loved ones. They seem so real at first, but they can't make memories, and soon you'll notice them start to repeat themselves. So, at first it can be comforting, but it stabs you in the heart when they say the same hollow words over and over again. When you realize they aren't real, it's like losing the loved one all over again."

"You sound like you're talking from experience."

He looked at her sadly and shook his head. "Not my experience, but I've been reading books about it lately, since we found out. Just - accounts of other people who have suffered from incurable curses and from their loved ones too, and how they managed once they were gone."

Hermione had no idea and wondered where he'd been hiding the books. Draco took a deep breath and kissed her temple. "I want your memories of me to be real, like today. Not fake conversations with a portrait. You can find it after several years, once you've had a chance to move on, but not in the beginning. Do you understand?"

Hermione nodded. She didn't completely understand, but she could tell it was important to him.

"Please promise me, Hermione," he pressed.

"I promise," she whispered.

Draco checked his watch and motioned for them to continue down the stairs. "The students should be coming back, so we can continue this in Hogsmeade if you like?"

She swallowed her disappointment and followed him down the stairs.

* * *

Hermione had more fun exploring Hogsmeade with Draco than she'd ever had during trips with her friends. He knew all the shops off the beaten path that she'd never explored, since students weren't technically allowed to leave the main road. She was the one teasing him about breaking rules now, but he seemed proud of it.

Her favorite shop was filled with rare potions ingredients, some of which she'd never heard of. She made a mental note to come back here and explore it further next week.

For dinner, Hermione went into the Three Broomsticks and got sausage rolls and butterbeers to go. Madam Rosmerta glared at her angrily and Hermione figured she knew who the second meal was for. She obviously hadn't forgiven Draco for putting her under the Imperius Curse. Oh well. They weren't called unforgivable curses for nothing, Hermione thought to herself.

They sat on a bench near the Shrieking Shack as they ate their dinner and shared a few more stories from their Hogsmeade weekends. Hermione told Draco about how Harry snuck into the town in third year, which Draco had already suspected, and Draco told Hermione about his disastrous first date with Pansy at Madame Puddifoots.

"Shocking that you two didn't end up together," Hermione said sarcastically. "Every time you talk about her, it doesn't even sound like you liked her."

Draco shrugged. "She worshipped me, and at the time that's all I cared about. That's also why the only people who could stand me were Crabbe and Goyle. It wasn't until later, around sixth year, that Blaise and Theo started giving me the time of day." He paused to sigh and pulled Hermione to his side. "I was an idiot. You know that."

Hermione nodded and leaned her head against his chest while they both looked at the stars. After a few moments, Hermione began to cry. This happened a lot lately and she'd told Draco the other day that she felt like a leaky faucet. When he felt the tears on his shirt, he tightened his grip on her and whispered, "That bad of a gift, huh?"

She laughed through her tears and wiped them away with the back of her sleeve. "It was perfect."

"You'll remember it when you come back here?"

"I'll remember it even when I'm not here. Thank you, Draco."

"Happy birthday, Hermione," he said, kissing the top of her head. His voice was uneven and when she looked up at him, his eyes were glistening with tears, too. He smiled down at her and took a deep, shaky breath before pulling her back into his chest.

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

"We both know you can get outside to get your own food," Draco grumbled as he set down a full bowl of food for Crookshanks. "You're getting lazy in your old age."

Crookshanks usually ignored Draco, except for when he was hungry in the middle of the night. That's when he forgot that he was Hermione's cat and would walk across Draco's chest until he got out of bed to feed him.

"What was that?" Draco asked in response to Crookshanks' meow. "You say you may be old, but that you'll outlive me? That's cruel Crooks, and I'm going to tell Hermione you said that in the morning."

Draco conjured a glass of water and drank it quickly before making his way back upstairs. He was halfway up the stairs when Hermione's piercing scream cut through the silence. He ran as fast as he could the rest of the way to their bedroom, taking the stairs two at a time. Draco expected to see Hermione thrashing around in her sleep, but she was sitting up in bed and screaming incoherently, her eyes wild.

Hermione jumped out of the bed as soon as she saw Draco and threw herself into his arms, sobbing violently. Draco almost lost his balance and held an arm out to brace himself, then worked on taking long, deep breaths to calm his racing heart.

Everything was fine. She was safe. He tried to carry her to the bed, but Hermione was holding him so tightly he couldn't move.

"Hermione, let go for a second. I'm just going to move us back to the bed."

She relaxed her grip but kept her head buried in his chest and she was still shaking with sobs. He picked her up and moved her to the bed. She wrapped her arms tightly around him as he tried to get her to calm down.

"Did you have a nightmare?" he asked.

She nodded with her head against his chest and her voice came out weakly when she spoke. "I thought you were gone."

"Sorry. I was just feeding your stupid cat. I'm here."

He rubbed her back and whispered random words while she calmed down. Telling her how much he loved her, how perfect she was, and how he was so lucky to have found her.

About once a week, Hermione would shoot up in bed and wake Draco. Once she saw him there and alive, she'd clutch him tightly and slowly began to relax. This was the first time he hadn't been there, but it wouldn't be the last.

What was she going to do after he was gone? He had to get someone to stay here with her. Stupid Theo. He would have been the perfect choice, but then he had to go and get a serious boyfriend. That git was as unreliable as always.

Her friends had families of their own now, and even Daphne and Blaise were together. So who was left? There was still time, Draco reminded himself. Maybe, if he was lucky, Theo or Blaise would fuck it up. Then Theo or Daphne would be single again and could move in and be here for Hermione when she had nights like this.

Draco looked down and she was asleep again but was still gripping him hard. He didn't want anyone else to be here for her. _He_ should be here. He was her husband, but he'd be on the other side of the Veil, powerless to help.

* * *

_Present Time: October 2005 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Harry Potter **

Harry and his family were at Andromeda's house, with Hermione and Draco, to celebrate Andromeda's birthday when someone knocked on the front door. Draco and Hermione were playing with Teddy and James in the sitting room and hadn't noticed. Ginny and Harry were helping Andromeda prepare lunch in the kitchen and looked at her curiously when they heard the door, but Andromeda didn't seem surprised.

"I invited someone else," Andromeda said vaguely, wiping her hands on her apron as she walked to get the door. "Though honestly, I didn't think she'd come," Harry heard her mutter to herself.

Harry and Ginny shared another confused look. Both of their eyes widened in surprise when they heard a familiar voice from the hall. A few moments later, Narcissa Malfoy appeared in the kitchen and Draco and Hermione were just a few seconds behind her, obviously having heard her arrival.

"Mother?" Draco asked as he bent to give her a kiss on the cheek.

"Oh, hello, Draco. Hermione," Narcissa pulled Hermione in for a quick hug and Harry could tell by the look on Hermione and Draco's faces that they hadn't expected Narcissa today, either. Though, based on the obvious casualness between Andromeda and Narcissa, this wasn't a big reunion for them.

Andromeda was smirking at Harry, then pushed him gently back toward the kitchen. "How's that salad coming, Harry?"

"Right...I just need three more minutes." Harry gave Hermione a final glance. She just shrugged and smiled at him. Draco still looked flabbergasted and the sisters looked amused.

Lunch passed uneventfully. James and Teddy monopolized the conversation, like always. In the few moments when the adults got to talk, they learned that Narcissa and Andromeda had been meeting for months. They were trying to slowly rebuild their relationship, but this was the first time Narcissa was meeting Teddy.

Hermione was beaming at first and kept looking at Draco, who was still surprised to find his mother there. Once the food was eaten, the initial happiness that had flowed through Hermione at the image of Narcissa and Andromeda reunited seemed to break. She excused herself quickly, saying something about needing to respond to her mother's call.

Draco left to follow her a few moments later.

"How was her mother calling her?" Narcissa asked, confused.

Harry explained cell phones and how Muggles used them, though he was sure Hermione didn't have one on her and had just needed to leave to cry. Ginny reached over and grabbed his hand during his explanation, and he gave her a sad smile. Luckily, Teddy cut in again and excitedly began to tell his aunt about every dragon figurine he owned.

Draco and Hermione were gone a long time and Narcissa offered to go check on them, but Harry said he'd go instead and was in the hall before Narcissa could get up from her seat. Harry knew she didn't know about Draco's condition yet and hoped he could cover for them for a while longer. It would be a shame if it all came out today and ruined Andromeda's birthday.

Harry found them upstairs in Teddy's bedroom. They were sitting on the bed holding hands and it was obvious Hermione had been crying. She looked about how Harry felt. Draco nodded when he saw Harry in the doorway and Hermione looked up and gave him a sad smile.

"Sorry, I just - sort of broke." Tears continued to stream down Hermione's face as she talked. "It's so lovely, days like this, and my birthday. Then I'm reminded of how much Draco's going to miss."

"I understand," Harry said quickly. "Do you two want to go? I can make an excuse."

Draco cocked his head at her questioningly, but Hermione shook her head. "No, we'll be down in a moment. I'll use the same excuse I've been using for work. About my sick aunt. That should explain the tears."

When they came down Hermione delivered her excuse and Harry could tell Narcissa didn't believe it, but she let it go. Harry saw Draco give his mother an appreciative smile and she gave him a quick nod before turning to Ginny and asking her how this pregnancy compared to her last one.

* * *

After lunch, everyone was playing in the garden while Harry and Ginny cleaned up in the kitchen. Harry watched Teddy showing off his metamorphmagus skills to Narcissa and laughed to himself. That kid loved an audience.

Ginny came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his middle. She propped her head on his shoulder and looked out the window with him. "What did they do to deserve this?"

Harry sighed. "I mentioned something like that to Hermione, and do you know what she said?"

He felt Ginny shake her head.

"Hermione said they felt lucky."

"Lucky?"

"She said they were lucky to have found each other, even for this short time. She said she knew there were a million different timelines where that didn't happen and felt fortunate to be living in the one timeline where it did."

Ginny sighed and tightened her grip on Harry. "Sometimes, I think we love each other more than any other couple. Then those two come up with something like that."

Harry turned to her and saw her smirking back at him. "Everything's a competition for you, isn't it?"

He shifted so he was facing her and wiped a few tears from her face. Ginny looked at him sadly and placed her palm on his heart. "I'm sorry you'll be losing another friend, Harry. I know we thought all this was over when the war ended."

Harry pulled her in for a hug. "And I'm sorry you'll be losing another brother."

She swatted him playfully on the shoulder. "Shh. He can't find out that I think of him like that. He'll never let me live it down."

Harry laughed and kissed her on the head, then pulled away and cocked his head toward the door. "Come on. We can cry when we get home, where he can't make fun of us for it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well that was a super sad chapter. But even depressed, these two are so darn cute together. I planned to move the plot forward a lot more in this chapter, but then had so much fun with the Bennett Clark section since we finally get to see the group dynamics from an outsider's POV. So that turned out three times longer than it was supposed to and now the story continues to stretch...
> 
> Thanks for bearing with me here. It's going to be sad for a little while. Unfortunately, these characters don't know their story has an HEA tag. Hang in there folks!
> 
> The next chapter will be posted in a few minutes.


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There were two chapters posted today. Read 43 first!

**Chapter 44**

" _We were happy," she said, and her eyes, downcast and brimming, reminded him of how the sky was before the first splash of rain. "We were happy and they punished us for it."_

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: October 2005 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Theo Nott**

"She just showed up?" Theo asked Draco as Draco poked the piece of steak in the pan with the spatula again.

"Stop messing with it," Theo snapped. "They never do that on the cooking shows."

Draco sighed and turned to face him, putting the spatula down and resting his hands on the kitchen counter.

"Yes. Apparently my mother has been trying to make amends with Andromeda for a few months, but this was her first time meeting Teddy. I don't know when she got so nice. You should have seen Hermione-" Draco paused to smile to himself. "I haven't seen her that happy in months. Though after about an hour - she sort of broke and was sad again."

Theo nodded. Both Draco and Hermione seemed to be swinging between happiness and sadness. It was always a toss-up what you were going to get when you saw them. Theo, on the other hand, was just plain sad.

Draco looked back at the pan. "Do I need to turn it?"

"Be patient and wait for the fucking timer," Theo snapped.

Draco was on edge today and just watching him was making Theo nervous. He was bouncing from one foot to the other and kept pushing his sleeves up before pulling them back down a few moments later. Draco had never been fidgety and Theo assumed he'd been slapped by his tutors anytime he was, just like he had. It was why most purebloods were very good at staying completely still.

Draco started playing with the spatula again and Theo pulled it out of his hand since it was driving him crazy. Draco flipped him off and Theo saw him reach for his wand, but Theo tried to distract him from what he'd been planning with another question. "So, your mother; I'm guessing she doesn't know yet?"

It worked. Draco put his hands back on the counter and sighed heavily. "No, she's been preparing for her ball all month and I don't want to get in the way of that. We're going to tell her after it's over."

Draco's eyes turned sad and Theo's chest clenched painfully. He looked like he was about to say something else but cut off. When Theo had first found out about Draco's death, he'd been more focused on Hermione and how she was handling this mess. He thought she had it worse, since she'd be the one left behind.

Though Draco was the one facing death, and that was awful too, but as far as Theo could tell he hadn't taken any time to deal with it. Draco had been focusing completely on Hermione, and it seemed to be taking a toll. Draco sighed heavily and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand as he watched the steak cook in the pan.

"What's it like?" Theo asked in a soft voice. He didn't have to elaborate, Draco knew what he meant.

"It's different every day," he said after a few moments of silence. "Some days I'm so fucking depressed that I can barely force myself out of bed. Other days...I feel an unbelievable amount of nervous energy. It's like my body has 100 years of living left in it, but knows it has to fit it all into just a few months. I want to do everything. Brew advanced potions I've always wanted to try, make a proper Patronus, travel, learn a new Quidditch move, figure out how to cook," he waved over to the stove.

"That's what this is, by the way," he added, as an afterthought. "I got it in my head that I couldn't die without learning to make a proper meal for myself - besides soup. So, this is my task for the day and I feel like I _have_ to figure this out, like it's the most important thing. But it's not. It's stupid. I could buy this. There are better things I could be doing with my time." Although Draco had phrased this last part as a statement, his tone made it sound like a question, but Theo didn't have an answer.

Draco looked down at the counter and sighed again. "I sound mad, don't I?"

"You don't," Theo said with uncharacteristic kindness.

The wand alarm went off and Theo was relieved for a break in the awkward silence. "Okay. Now, you sear the sides for a few seconds, then turn it over and pop it in the oven."

Draco did as instructed and swore when some oil splashed on him. He ended up with what looked like a good sear, to Theo (at least, it matched what they did on the cooking shows), then he put the pan in the oven while Theo restarted the timer on his wand.

Before Theo could decide what to say next, Draco changed the subject. "Tell me about your bloke. Bennett, right?"

Theo's stomach dropped. He hadn't spoken to Bennett in over a month. After their fight following Hermione's birthday party, Theo had told Bennett he needed some space to sort through what was going on with his friends. Bennett had been disappointed but told Theo to take whatever time he needed.

He'd sent a few owls checking in on Theo, but Theo hadn't answered any of them. Whenever Theo saw Bennett at work, he ducked out of sight. He knew he should just end it, instead of stringing Bennett along, but he was too much of a coward for that.

"I'm thinking of breaking it off with him," Theo eventually said, in a dejected tone. "Then I can move in here, if you still want that."

Draco cocked his eyebrow at Theo. "Wait, what? I thought things were serious. Didn't you practically live together, just a few weeks ago?"

Theo shrugged. Draco looked at him pointedly and Theo figured there was no harm in telling Draco what was going on. He was going to be dead soon anyway.

"I like him, a lot actually, but I don't think we're right together. He's personable and kind and caring. He has a family that all love each other, and - I don't know - it doesn't make sense that he'd be with someone as fucked up as me. He deserves someone better."

Draco nodded as if this made a lot of sense to him and Theo was a bit relieved, but was surprised by Draco's next words, "Shite, Hermione's right. You _are_ nice."

"No, I'm not!" Theo bit back.

"If you were selfish, like me and Blaise, you'd ignore the fact that your boyfriend is out of your league and just take the advantage. You say he doesn't deserve you, yeah?"

Theo nodded.

"Who the fuck cares? If he's as good as you say, then you probably think he deserves to be happy, right?"

Theo nodded again.

"Well apparently, he thinks he can be happy with you. That's his choice to make, not yours. Just sit back and enjoy the benefits of being with someone better than you."

It made sense, logically. Draco was right. Theo had been thinking like a martyr, but he wasn't a fucking Gryffindor. He was a Slytherin, and if a complete arse like Draco could make Hermione happy, he could make someone like Bennett happy, right?

Though it still didn't feel right. Draco may be a prat at times, but he had some good qualities, too. Theo, on the other hand, had very few of those. Draco was looking at him oddly. "What is it?" Draco asked. "The logic is sound, and you're nothing if not logical."

Theo looked down at the counter before answering. "I don't see how he could like me. No one likes me."

"Hermione likes you," Draco said quickly.

Theo shrugged, keeping his head down. "She likes everyone."

Draco was quiet and Theo chanced a look up at him, since he was curious to see what he was doing. He was finally still again and was studying Theo intently. Theo looked back at him defiantly and dared him with his eyes to insult him, but Draco's look softened and his tone was kind when he spoke again.

"You're always there, Theo, when I need you - when anyone needs you. Like now, you came over to help me make this stupid steak. Or when I asked you to move in to help Hermione-"

"But I said no," Theo pointed out.

"You had a good reason." Draco sighed. "You might be sarcastic and tactless and moody, but you're the most reliable person I know. I can count on you for anything, so, well, there's one good quality. You're also very rich, which never hurts," he added with a smirk.

Theo smirked back at him. "You forgot handsome."

"I won't comment on that," Draco said, rolling his eyes.

The wand alarm went off again and Draco pulled the steak out of the oven and put it on the plate, following Theo's instructions.

"And that's it?" Draco looked at the steak warily.

Theo shrugged, "I think so.

"Do I try it now?" Draco opened the drawer and pulled out a fork and knife.

"No, it needs to rest," Theo said, holding his hand over the plate.

"Rest? It's a fucking steak. It doesn't need sleep."

"I don't know why, but they always say that on the shows. Just for a few minutes."

Draco regarded the steak again, like he expected it to speak up, then shrugged and turned back to Theo. "So, what are you going to do with this bloke?"

"It makes sense, what you said, but I guess I'm scared. It was easier when I was alone."

"Yeah, probably. But also sadder, right?"

"You don't stop being sad once you find someone to love. Look at you and Hermione."

Draco nodded thoughtfully and Theo thought they were done talking now, but after a while Draco said, "It's a better kind of sad, I think."

His eyes were so filled with sorrow that Theo wanted to cry again. He wondered for the millionth time why Draco and Hermione were choosing this path. Maybe it was all the opening up they'd already done, but he finally worked up the nerve to ask.

"I have to know. Why are you not choosing to end it? I understand waiting as long as possible, to get every moment you can with her. But once you get to the end, take the potion and save your life. That way you get as much time with Hermione as possible, then go on to your lesser, sadder life. At least you'll be alive."

"Everything would be erased. Every beautiful moment, forgotten."

"But you'll be dead," Theo argued, "Not in a position to remember anything."

"She'll remember," Draco said firmly. "If she wanted me to take the potion I would, but she wants to remember, and sometimes that's all that gets me through it.

There were tears in Draco's eyes now and he looked away from Theo and back to the steak resting on the plate. "All of this stuff, cooking and such, is a pathetic attempt at trying to do a few meaningful things with my time before I die. But even if I don't get any of it done, I got the most incredible witch in the world to love me for a few years and she's promised to love me for the rest of her life. That's more meaningful than anything else I could manage in this, or any other, timeline."

They were both quiet, watching the steak and Theo was taking deep, deliberate breaths to keep from crying again. He'd been unexpectedly moved by Draco's cloying response.

"Can we try it now?" Draco asked, motioning toward the steak.

Theo nodded and they both cut off a piece of the steak and tasted it. "Fuck," Theo said. "I forgot a step. But it's cooked well," he added comfortingly, when he saw Draco's face fall.

"It doesn't taste good," Draco looked extremely disappointed and Theo could tell that although he'd spent the past few minutes saying how stupid it was, cooking this steak meant a lot to him.

"Yeah, we forgot the seasoning. I think we can still add it, but it's supposed to be better when it gets seasoned ahead of time."

"Maybe I should stick with stews," Draco said, glaring at the steak.

"No. We're making a fucking steak, today. I know what we did wrong. Do you have another?"

Draco nodded and seemed surprised by the forcefulness of Theo's words. "Okay, if this is so important to you…" he muttered before giving Theo one of his real smiles, the ones usually reserved for Hermione.

He pulled another raw steak from the fridge and put it on the plate, then looked at Theo seriously. "This is my advice for you: If you like Bennett, be with Bennett, and try your best not to fuck it up."

"I'll think about it."

"Okay," Draco looked down at the steak. "How do I season this?"

* * *

When Theo got back home, he stood in front of the mirror for a long time and considered Draco's words. He still didn't think Bennett deserved to be saddled with someone like him, but he also didn't deserve how awful Theo had been to him the past few weeks. Theo had to make a decision one way or another.

He walked around the corridors of Nott Manor for hours, thinking through all the possibilities and playing out a hundred different versions of the conversation he was planning to have with Bennett.

Ultimately, he just had to do it. He took a deep breath and tried to ignore the immense fear gripping him as he spoke Bennett's address and put his head in the Floo. He saw Bennett reading on the couch and cleared his throat. "Can I come over?"

Bennett jumped. "Theo! Hello, uh, yes, of course."

Theo was there in a few seconds and Bennett was standing up from the couch. He'd been reading _Hogwarts, a History,_ and Theo couldn't help but smirk.

Bennett was looking at him kindly and his startling blue eyes were swimming with concern. Theo took another deep breath and said in a rush, "I've been a huge prick. I'm depressed about my friends, I'm scared about getting closer to you, and - well - it's also, partly, my personality."

Bennett was about to talk but Theo raised a hand to silence him.

"I need to say all this before I lose my nerve," Bennett nodded and waited patiently for Theo to continue.

"I love you, and there are countless reasons why. So many that when I think about it for too long, I feel completely inadequate. But you like me too, which just goes to show you're not as smart as I thought, so maybe I'll take that one off the list, but I don't care. I'm ready to stop being a fucking arsehole and give this a fair shot, if it's not too late. Can we try again?"

Bennett was looking at Theo seriously while he bit the inside his cheek and Theo stood completely still, waiting for his verdict. He hadn't gotten any of the words right. Why had he even bothered practicing if he was going to fuck it all up when it got to actually saying everything?

Before Theo could beat himself up more, Bennett closed the distance between them in one step and started kissing Theo fiercely.

"Is that a yes?" Theo pulled back and asked, "Or is this a kiss goodb-"

Bennett silenced him with another kiss and whispered against his lips, "Shut up, Theo."

Theo shrugged and pulled Bennett closer. Well, he wasn't going to be the one to stop the kissing. He'd just assume this was a yes, unless told otherwise.

* * *

_Present Time: October 2005 / Draco's Time: December 2005_

* * *

**Hermione Granger-Malfoy**

When Hermione woke up the day of Halloween, Draco was still sleeping. She crept into the bathroom and put up a silencing charm so the sound of shower wouldn't wake him. He needed the extra sleep. He'd been in a very dark mood the past few days and she hoped with a good night's sleep, he'd be in better spirits today.

Draco's bad moods were more frequent since he'd learned about his death, which was to be expected, but Hermione couldn't help but feel disappointed when they struck. He'd tried flying, breaking things, even putting up a silencing charm and yelling at the top of his lungs, but nothing seemed to work to cure these dark moods, besides time - which was the one thing they didn't have.

Hermione tried to make as much of the dark days as she could. Draco always wanted to stay at home, so she'd cuddle with him on the couch and read or watch TV while trying to memorize how it felt to be in his arms. She also used these days to pepper him with questions since she was trying to learn every little thing about him.

What his favorite song was. What his favorite candy had been as a child and if it was different from his favorite candy now. The first spell he'd ever cast. How his accidental magic had manifested itself when he was younger. What his favorite place to visit was. If he'd ever wanted a sibling or been happy as an only child. Even though she'd been with him for years, there were still so many things she didn't know about him

When Hermione emerged from the bathroom, Draco wasn't in bed anymore. She dried her hair quickly and put on one of his shirts that was draped over the chair, then followed the sounds coming from downstairs. She found him in the kitchen, cooking something on the stove. Hermione went to join him, wrapping her arms around his waist and propping her head on his shoulder once she reached him. She realized then this wasn't her Draco.

He didn't smell like he did in the morning. He was wearing cologne and now that she was paying more attention, she noticed he was fully dressed. She jumped back, since she hadn't been expecting any more time jumps. Her Draco must have gone to the future. Though not to any date past March 2006, she thought darkly.

Draco turned his head and smirked but kept one eye on the pan. "Have a seat. I'm making you breakfast."

"What-"

He answered before she could finish her question. "New Year's Eve."

After a few moments, he slid two perfectly cooked fried eggs on her plate and she smiled, delighted. "You learned to make eggs?!"

He was beaming back at her. "I've been practicing my cooking, but unfortunately, by the time I mastered eggs you stopped eating them."

"Why did I stop eating eggs?" She asked as she cut into the first one and the bright yellow yolk ran out.

When she looked back at him his face was blank. "You got sick of them after I made about a hundred trying to perfect my technique."

Hermione nodded and looked down at her plate. "Well, these are perfect. I'm proud of you."

The toaster popped then and Draco retrieved an unburned piece of toast and added it to her plate before taking the seat next to her at the counter. He explained that he'd been in the middle of dinner when he left, so he wasn't hungry, as he watched her eat.

When she was done, she turned to face him and stroked his cheek with the back of her hand. "How are we doing in December?"

He grasped the hand on his cheek and moved it to his lips, kissing her palm. "We're doing good."

Hermione responded with a small smile. "I'm glad. October has been hard."

"Yeah, I remember. We have a ball tonight, right?" Hermione nodded. "I was upset about missing it initially, but now I get to make up for it." He stood and pulled her to her feet, then began to move her around the kitchen in a sort of waltz. "I'm looking forward to dancing with you all night," he whispered in her ear after pulling her in close following a twirl.

Hermione was glad this Draco was in such a good mood, and she hoped her Draco was doing okay in the future. It was New Year's Eve, so he'd have parties to attend to distract him. Though every party would be celebrating the arrival of 2006, a year they'd been dreading for months.

* * *

"You look incredible," Draco exclaimed when Hermione emerged from the bathroom in a delicate, black lace gown.

Hermione patted the skirt, blushing slightly. "I can't take credit for the dress. That was all Daphne."

Draco shook his head as he approached her then placed a kiss on each of her cheeks. "The dress is fine. The witch in it is the real masterpiece. Gorgeous, as always."

Hermione couldn't help but smile in response. Once they arrived at the Manor, they met up with Theo, Bennett, Daphne, and Blaise who were standing at the edge of the ballroom in their usual spot, close to the bar.

"I'm so happy to see you again, Bennett," Hermione exclaimed once she saw him. Draco had told her about his talk with Theo but neither of them had heard what had happened after that. It looked like they'd made amends and Hermione was glad for it. Theo deserved someone good, and Bennett seemed like a really decent wizard.

Daphne and Blaise looked stunning together and Hermione realized this was the first time they were attending this event as a couple. She knew better than to call attention to it, though. Daphne and Blaise were weird about that. They liked to ignore the strange path they'd taken to get to one another and preferred to act as if they'd been dating this whole time.

In some senses, they seemed more like a married couple than Hermione and Draco. They weren't affectionate in front of people, which Hermione had learned was a pureblood thing, and they seemed to have the ability to hold entire conversations without words. Hermione knew from Daphne though, that behind the scenes they were doing well and that Blaise was a surprisingly attentive and considerate partner, though you wouldn't know it from talking to them. They insulted each other more than they ever had before, but it was clear there was no real bite behind their words.

"Do we just stand here all night? Or do we dance?" Bennett asked as he finished his wine and placed it on a passing tray.

"Oh, if you like dancing, you're out of luck. Theo doesn't dance," Daphne replied, while Theo nodded in response.

"What? Why not?" Bennett asked. "I'm sure you've had lessons, growing up attending events like this."

Theo shrugged. "I know how. I just don't like it."

"Come on," Bennett nudged him.

"It's no use, Bennett," Daphne cut in. "He won't even dance with Hermione and Theo would do _anything_ for her."

Bennett and Theo exchanged an odd look and Hermione felt uncomfortable. "That's just because I'm the only one who's nice to Theo," she said quickly, trying to ease the tension. "Anyway, I'll dance with you, Bennett."

She held her hand out for him and he took it and kissed it and led her to the dance floor. When Hermione looked at Draco she saw his eyes flash with jealousy. She smirked and patted him on the arm before turning to follow Bennett, "Get me a drink, will you? Champagne."

He shrugged but still nodded at her before turning to ask Theo something. After two dances, Bennett leaned in and said, "I should get you back to your husband before he murders me."

Hermione was about to defend Draco, thinking Bennett was hinting toward his time as a Death Eater, but she could tell by the look in his eyes he was joking. When she turned to see Draco, who was leaning against a pillar and glaring at them, she had to admit Bennett had a point.

Draco handed her a drink when she returned to his side, but she winced as soon as she took a sip. It wasn't Champagne, like she'd asked for, but a sickeningly sweet sparkling soda. Hermione handed the glass back to Draco. "This is gross. I wanted Champagne."

He shrugged and put the glass on a nearby table and avoided her gaze when he replied. "They were out." That made no sense and Hermione was about to point out that Narcissa would never allow them to run out of anything when he kissed her squarely on the mouth.

"Draco," she hissed, trying to push him away.

"It's a stupid rule," he whispered into her ear before nibbling her earlobe. It sent chills down her spine. "But if you insist…" he grumbled, then pulled her back to the dance floor and he led her in a faster dance that took all her concentration. She tried her best to stay upright and not trip on his feet. Once that song was over, he pulled her close and laughed, then switched to a slow waltz that didn't match the music, but was more Hermione's pace.

"It's a good day for you," Hermione said as they swayed. "You had a string of bad days recently and sometimes we fall into this trap of convincing ourselves they'll never go away."

Draco nodded knowingly. "There are still ups and downs, but I regret nothing."

After a few more songs, Lucius and Narcissa appeared at their side and it took Hermione a moment to realize what Lucius's proffered hand meant. Her eyes widened and both Draco and his father smirked at her reaction. "Mother, would you care for a dance?" Draco said politely with a small bow to Narcissa.

Narcissa smiled at him and in a few seconds they were gone, dancing gracefully several feet away while Hermione looked nervously back at Lucius.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Lucius muttered, hand still outstretched. "Come on."

Hermione crossed her arms and stepped back. "I understand now why you hated me, and that it wasn't because of my blood status. But you were still awful to me and I still haven't forgiven you for your role in the war."

Lucius regarded her with a serious expression, then she thought she saw his lips turn up slightly. "Noted." He still had his hand held out and she shrugged and finally took it. It was just a dance, she figured, not a grand gesture of acceptance. "Was that a different Draco?" he asked after a few moments.

"How could you tell?" Hermione asked, impressed. "I barely caught it. He's only from two months in the future."

Lucius looked over at where Draco was dancing with Narcissa. They both looked like they were having a good time. "He seems calmer, less fidgety. I'm glad he'll manage to find more peace with this, in a few months."

Hermione went back to focusing on her steps but she was doing awful and the more mistakes she made the more she tensed up, making it worse. Lucius stopped and raised an eyebrow at her. "You're nervous. Why?"

"I just said," she snapped back at him.

Lucius muttered something under his breath and she thought she heard the word, "insolent."

Hermione sighed again and explained, "I know you still hate me. I mean, I'm still a Muggleborn, and I'm still the reason Draco isn't undoing the time loop. And, well, I've just said I don't like you either. So, that's probably why I'm so tense."

Lucius nodded and looked over at Draco again before responding. "You would not have been my preferred choice in the beginning, but it's not my decision. It's Draco's. And you make him unbelievably happy. So no, I don't hate you. Although you are an atrocious dancer. We will need to work on that in the future."

Hermione cocked her head in confusion. "I - we - once Draco's gone, I assumed we wouldn't..." her voice trailed off, but Lucius understood her meaning.

"You're our daughter in law," he snapped. "Our last link to our son. I know we have some things to work through, but I didn't peg you as someone who would walk away so easily."

Hermione gave Lucius a small smile. "You're right. I tend to stick around, even when things are hard." She put her left hand back on his shoulder and waited for him to take her right hand. He just stood there watching her for several seconds, then he smirked and stepped back.

"Well, we may as well work on your dancing now. Your form is awful, so let's start there." He moved her left hand to the proper spot on his arm and told her how to hold her head and shoulders, but she was still shocked that he expected to keep contact with her after March.

She wouldn't be alone once Draco was gone. Lucius and Narcissa weren't warm, but they'd be in her life, though she wasn't sure yet if she found that horrifying or comforting. Though she thought they'd try their best to support her, if only to honor Draco's memory. Theo, Blaise, and Daphne would be impossible to get rid of too. That thought made her smile.

"Hermione," Lucius's stern voice interrupted her thoughts. "I had always heard you were a good student, but you're zoning out during your first lesson."

"Right." She focused back on him. "You were saying?"

* * *

_Present Time: December 2005 / Draco's Time: October 2005_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

Draco time jumped when he was asleep and appeared at the dining table at Malfoy Manor. His parents were in their usual spots at either end of the table while Hermione sat across from him, laughing. He looked down and saw why.

He was wearing what he had been while sleeping, his boxers and an undershirt. Luckily he always slept with his wand strapped to his leg and he pulled it out as he rose from the table and excused himself to go change.

"Yes, please do, Draco," his mother said with amusement as he left the room. "Your father and I raised you better than to attend a formal dinner in your underwear." Hermione laughed out loud at that and Draco apparated back to his bedroom at the London house.

He checked the date when he got there - _December 31, 2005._ He hadn't been expecting any more time jumps. He'd forgotten he could still travel forward, just not past March 2006, he thought darkly. He dressed quickly and was back at the Manor in less than ten minutes. He yawned once he sat down and apologized to his mother, explaining that he'd been sleeping in his other time.

"So, uh, I'm assuming you know," he said tentatively, watching his mother's reaction carefully.

"You mean, did you all finally stop lying to me and informed me that my son suffered from an extremely rare time travel condition that would cause his death in just a few months? Yes, Draco, I know."

Draco could tell his mother was upset and when he looked back at his father, his face was impassive. Narcissa seemed determined to have a good evening, though, and the rest of the dinner passed pleasantly. They talked about nothing of significance, but it was a nice change since so many of Draco's conversations lately had been extremely heavy.

He learned that this dinner was one of three events he and Hermione would be attending tonight to celebrate the new year. After dinner with his parents, they were stopping by the Burrow for a large party, then they were going to Blaise's flat for another party.

"Blaise is having a party?" Draco asked, surprised.

"I know. It's a big deal, which is why that's the party where we will be welcoming in the New Year. Daphne said she tried to get him to go back to Italy but he refused. Their compromise was one small New Year's Party without any countdowns."

His parents wished them well at all their events and his mother told Hermione not to overdo it, which was a confusing comment and caused Draco to study her thoroughly. Hermione did look a little sick and he wondered if that's what his mother had been referring to. She was thinner and her skin was pale and clammy.

They'd just apparated outside the wards of the Burrow and Draco pulled her off the main path before asking, "Are you okay?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Just, you look, off." Hermione frowned. "Beautiful, as always," he added in a rush, and he wasn't lying, she did, "But uh, sick, maybe?"

She bit her lip and pulled him further off the path behind a tree. "I know I tell you tonight, and I guess now is the time. And it's better me than some random person who didn't realize you don't know," Hermione was muttering to herself and none of it made sense to Draco.

"What are you talking about?"

Hermione gave Draco a small smile but he could tell by the apprehension in her eyes that she was incredibly nervous. "I am a little off, as you say, and there's a diagnostic spell you can run to check..." her voice trailed off.

"What's wrong?" Draco's eyes widened in alarm and his heart started beating quickly. Was it something serious? He wouldn't be able to bear it if Hermione died too. He'd end the time loop if that was the case.

"Nothing bad," Hermione rushed to reassure him and pulled his wand out of his pocket and handed it to him. He took it tentatively and she pointed it at her chest and smiled at him again. "There's no fancy wand work. Just a simple incantation: _Novum Principii._ "

Draco didn't know what the words meant. "New" something, he'd never been great with Latin. Once he spoke the words, several gold strings came out the end of his wand tip and circled Hermione. The strings spiraled down her body and stopped when they reached her middle, where they converged just outside her lower abdomen and created a tiny figure Draco recognized instantly.

He dropped to his knees so his head was just a few inches away from the small outline of a fetus with a heart that was beating impossibly fast. He picked his hand up to touch it and his fingertips glowed when they contacted the gold strings. "Merlin," he whispered to himself. "Is this real?"

When he looked up Hermione was nodding with a sad smile and tears in her eyes.

"When?" he asked, though he knew by the size it wouldn't be soon enough. It was already January in this time and he had two, maybe three more months.

"End of June," she said and his heart stopped. Too late. He hugged her and the gold strings disappeared once his head touched her stomach, though he knew there was still a tiny little baby in there, floating around. A baby he would never meet.

He was overcome with a whirlwind of emotions and stayed there kneeling on the ground with his arms wrapped around her legs and his head on her stomach. Hermione stroked his hair while he tried to work through what he was feeling.

After a few moments, he'd gotten nowhere and felt more numb than anything. He looked up at Hermione and asked, "How do you feel? Are you sad? Disappointed? Happy? Scared?"

Hermione took a deep breath and pulled Draco back to his feet before wrapping her arms around his neck. "You're always so focused on me, Draco. How do _you_ feel? Your emotions count too."

Draco focused on the tightness in his chest. He felt everything, and nothing, all at once. It was very unpleasant. "I'm incredibly happy, and desperately sad. I'm relieved you won't be alone, guilty I won't be there to help, worried something bad will happen, angry I won't get to meet him, jealous of you and everyone else who will be there instead-" his voice broke and he dropped his forehead so it was resting against hers. "I don't know, Hermione. Tell me how you feel now."

"If there was a stronger word for bittersweet, that would be it. I feel the happiest I've ever felt and simultaneously the most depressed."

They stayed there for a while and when Draco felt Hermione shiver, he cast a warming charm on them, but didn't make a move to turn back to the path they'd left. Hermione said they could skip the party, but he thought the distraction would be good. He just needed a few more moments.

Once he finally composed himself, they went on to the Burrow and the distraction worked for an hour or so. Draco talked to Teddy and enjoyed the look of glee on his face as he watched George's spectacular fireworks. Then Draco caught up with Luna, who was always the perfect person to speak with when you wanted to forget about reality. Soon, Draco needed an escape and was walking along the edge of the yard, trying to clear his mind when he saw an odd, silver bubble, several feet ahead.

He found Harry inside with his back to him and he put his hand through the edge of the bubble to test it, surprised when it went through easily. Draco took a deep breath and walked through the silver edge of the bubble and found complete silence, once he was inside.

"Holy shite, I should have thought of this ages ago," he muttered to himself.

Harry jumped and when he turned Draco saw he was holding a baby. Draco was confused at first, then remembered the baby Ginny was pregnant with in his time was due in November. In this time, it had obviously been born already, and here it was. Draco approached curiously and saw what looked like a tiny boy (based on the clothes, since it was impossible to tell otherwise at this age) with a shock of dark hair and muddy-green eyes.

"What were you saying?" Harry asked, watching Draco curiously.

"The silence. It's perfect. Sometimes, all I need when I come here is to get away from all the noise for a few minutes. You need to teach me this," he gestured to the bubble around them.

Harry nodded absently and Draco saw him looking oddly between him and his son. "What's wrong?" Harry asked.

"I've never met him," Draco admitted.

It took Harry a few seconds to puzzle through that, then his eyes widened. "Ohhh, what time are you from?" He was studying Draco's face as he added, "You look the same."

"Just two months ago. It's Halloween in my time."

Harry nodded and held the baby up so Draco could see him better. "This is Albus Severus. Do you want to hold him?"

Draco nodded and took the baby. He noticed immediately how much calmer he was than James had been. "That's quite a lot to put on one person, don't you think?"

Harry smirked, then looked affectionately at his son. "You said that the first time. I think he'll handle it well."

"This one will look like you," Draco said as he studied the small baby's features. "Poor bloke."

"Yes, that's the general consensus."

Draco had been trying to ignore the news he'd learned a few hours ago, but it was impossible to do so with a newborn baby in his arms. All the emotions he'd been pushing away came at him in a rush and he started crying.

He shifted Albus to one arm and pulled his other hand up to cover his face, turning away from Harry. He felt a strong hand on his arm and Harry asked, "Do you want me to get Hermione?"

Draco shook his head. The last time he'd seen her she'd been laughing with Ginny and he didn't want to make her sad.

"Do you want me to leave you alone?"

Draco shook his head again.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Draco shook his head a third time, but after several moments of silence, once his tears had subsided, he started talking anyway.

"I just found out a few hours ago."

Harry nodded sadly and Draco saw his eyes were wet. They were quiet for a while longer. Draco continued to bounce Albus around, as he had done for James at this same age. When he turned to face Harry again, he looked very sad and like he was at a complete loss for the right thing to say at a time like this.

"Your parents," Draco started, then cut off, trying to work up the nerve to voice the thought that had just popped into his head. "You didn't know them," he continued.

Draco looked down at Albus so he wouldn't have to see Harry's face and the baby's eyes were drooping as he finally began drifting off to sleep. "But did you still love them?" Draco asked before taking a shaky breath.

Draco saw Harry nodding from his peripheral vision, but he kept his gaze down on Albus. "I was desperate to learn anything I could about them," Harry explained. "From the small things, like their favorite food and subjects in schools, to large things, like their personalities. And I hoarded every picture until I could create a clear image of each of them in my mind. So to answer your question, yes, not only did I love them desperately, but I was a bit obsessed with them."

He dipped his head. Draco saw him remove his glasses and wipe his eyes with the back of his hand before cleaning his glasses with his shirt and putting them back on.

"Your kid will be the same," Harry continued. "They'll want to know everything, and we'll tell them all of it, until they're sick of hearing about you. And they'll love you so much, I promise."

Draco was crying again and he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. "Fuck, I thought I was sad before."

When Draco opened his eyes again Harry had his arms crossed and was smirking at him, though it didn't reach his eyes, which were still sad. "You really do like swearing around newborns, don't you?"

Draco smiled in spite of himself, remembering that time after his wedding when he'd come by to help with James while Hermione had been out of town. "You know that day, when I was bearing my soul to James and you were being your nosy self and eavesdropping from the hall?"

Harry nodded.

"You said everything would be okay."

Harry smiled. "And you said I couldn't possibly know that, then called me an idiot."

Draco cocked his eyebrow at Harry.

"Well, I guess you were right," Harry admitted.

"You heard it, Albus. I told James first, and I'll tell you now: your father is an idiot."

* * *

_Present Time: November 2005 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Hermione Granger-Malfoy**

The Draco from the future spent the whole next day with Hermione. He showed her all the things he'd learned to cook and was thrilled when she enjoyed each dish. They had a lovely day, but November seemed so much closer to March than October had.

When Hermione told Draco this, he frowned. "When I go back it will be January," he said darkly and she didn't bring up dates again for the rest of the day.

Her Draco appeared that night as she was going to bed. He looked better than he had when she'd last seen him awake, but there was clearly something bothering him. She asked if something had happened in the future to distress him. He just waved her off, saying they should sleep and that he'd tell her in the morning.

When she woke up the next day, she found Draco brewing a potion in the kitchen, surrounded by hundreds of tiny vials spread out on the surface of the counter. "What is this?"

She leaned over to look at the contents in the cauldron. She didn't recognize it and he pulled the book he was using away when he saw her. "It's a surprise. Go away and I'll tell you when I'm done."

Hermione was intrigued and wondered if this was related to whatever had been bothering him last night. She went to the sitting room and read by the fire while she waited for him to come and tell her what was going on. Draco showed up an hour later with a pale pink potion that he insisted she drink. It tasted awful.

"What the hell was that?"

Draco pulled her to her feet and kissed her hard on the mouth. "I learned something in the future."

"How to make disgusting potions?" she sneered at the empty vial on the side table.

"No. I learned that this morning." He stepped back from her and sighed. "Okay. I'm going to tell you, since it's technically not breaking rule one, as it's happening in the present and we just don't know it. Plus, I think the rules are done now, right?"

Hermione nodded, confused. "Yeah, I think the rules are done. Go ahead. Tell me what you learned."

Draco looked nervous now and muttered to himself. "This is the probably the first time a wizard has ever told a witch," which just confused Hermione more.

"Just tell me," she hit his arm and he smirked at her.

"So impatient. Okay, stand back." He pointed his wand at her, and she flinched.

"What are you going to do?" she asked warily.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Do you really think I'm going to hurt you?"

"Of course not." She straightened her spine and waited for whatever spell he was about to cast.

He must have cast the spell silently, because before she heard an incantation, gold strings came out the end of his wand and started circling her body. She watched, fascinated, as the strings made their way to her abdomen and then it hit her - she knew this spell. She'd seen Ginny cast it a few times. This was the spell to check for pregnancies. _Novum principii -_ new beginnings.

She looked away from the strings as they continued to form shapes on her stomach. When she saw Draco's face his expression was simultaneously hopeful and miserable. "Oh, Draco," she whispered.

He nodded at her and she placed her hands on his shoulders and kept her head up, not wanting to see the result of the spell. Maybe, if she didn't look, it wouldn't be real.

"You're upset," he said quickly, and she saw his eyes scanning her face.

"I'm in shock," she said, her voice rough.

"Look down."

She shook her head, "I can't."

"Look, Hermione," he repeated in a sterner voice.

She took a deep breath, then finally dropped her head. Once she looked, she couldn't look away. The spell had outlined a tiny bean-shaped thing with a racing heartbeat on the outside of her shirt. Tears came to her eyes as she watched the fluttering of the little heart.

She and Draco had made that little bean and it would grow into a perfect baby. Would it look like him? Would it act like him? That dream, from earlier in the year, came flooding back in her mind. Draco walking around with a little blonde baby in his arms, swearing, and telling it stupid stories, just like he'd done with James, but she knew it wouldn't happen like that. She didn't even have to ask about the timing of this pregnancy. She'd already seen it on his face.

She was due after March, she knew, and Draco would never hold this baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, sad, I know. Draco had the perfect quote in this chapter: "Fuck. I thought I was sad before."
> 
> A part of me really wants to rush through this part of the story. But I've kept a consistent pace this whole time and it would feel wrong to just start rushing now. So while I won't speed up the writing, I can speed up the updates - so here are two chapters today! Please hang in there. We'll get a little hope in the next chapter.
> 
> Thanks as always to my betas Lancashire Witch and Kimmeh B! The next chapter will be posted Wed, Jan-13.


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45**

_You and I against a rule, set for us by time._

_A marker drawn to show our end, etched into its line._

_The briefest moment shared with you - the longest on my mind._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: November 2005 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

Hermione watched the little golden figure float around on her abdomen until the spell wore off and the gold strings faded away. She knew it was time to face Draco now, but she was as hesitant to look up at him, as she had been to look down at the baby several moments before.

He did the work for her, though, and lifted her chin with his finger until she was looking in his eyes. They were stormy and the whirlpool of emotions there perfectly matched the ones passing through her own body and making her sick. Or was that the pregnancy? Was it too early for morning sickness?

 _Morning sickness? Pregnancy?_ How was this happening to her?

"Hermione, go get ready," Draco said sternly. "You'll feel better after a shower."

She usually pushed back when he tried to order her around like this, mostly on principle, but in this instance, she listened. She went upstairs and took the longest shower she thought she'd ever taken. She just stood under the hot water, with her hands tentatively touching her belly, as she assessed her body for changes.

Everything felt normal, and she was offended that something so significant had been going on inside her body, without her knowledge. Her mind kept drifting back to how this could have happened, when she took the contraceptive potion every week, without fail. She knew dwelling on why and how was useless at this point, but anytime she started thinking anything else, like what she was going to do next, she felt sick again.

When she returned to the kitchen, Draco was carefully pouring the pink potion into the last of the vials and Hermione took a seat at the counter and watched him.

"You need to take one of these every day. Morning is supposed to be best," he said once she sat down, his attention on carefully measuring out each dose of potion. "This will last a few months, and I'll make more, to make sure you have enough to last the entire pregnancy."

She was about to point out she could buy this but held her tongue. She knew what this was. This was Draco's way of contributing, since in a few months, there would be little else he could do. She suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe and dropped her head into her hands as she took deep breaths.

"This is so bad," she muttered between her breaths and soon she felt Draco at her side, turning her chair so she was facing him. He stepped between her legs and pulled her hands down from her face, but she kept her eyes closed.

"Look at me," he said firmly. He was ordering her around again, but it was oddly comforting being told what to do and she didn't fight back. She opened her eyes and saw Draco giving her a sad smile. "Tell me what you're feeling, and please don't hold back."

Hermione was quiet and continued to take deep, deliberate breaths.

"We can do the stars, if you need," Draco said, when she didn't speak.

She shook her head and rested her forehead on his chest, since it was always easier for her to say hard things without looking at him. "I don't want it," she said, so quietly she wondered if he heard. He wrapped his arms around her in response and hugged her tightly.

"I'm supposed to be happy. I'm supposed to be excited. I'm supposed to love this little bean floating around in there, but all I can think is how much I don't want this. And now, on top of feeling sad and scared, I feel guilty for having the complete wrong reaction to this news."

Draco stepped back and lifted Hermione's chin again, so she was looking at him. He was smiling, surprisingly, as he cupped her face in his hands. "You put so much pressure on yourself to be perfect," he said in a soft voice. "You're allowed dark thoughts, just like all of us, and it's fine for you to not want this baby right now."

Tears started to fall down Hermione's face. "I don't want you to think it has anything to do with you. I've always wanted a family with you. It's just-"

"You don't need to explain, believe me," he cut her off and placed a small kiss on her nose.

"You're surprisingly calm about this whole thing," Hermione pointed out.

Draco nodded. "I cried a lot, the first day I found out. Even in front of Potter, for a bit, which was fucking embarrassing. But, well, I've decided to be happy about it. What's that quote from the American Muggle you like?"

"'Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.'" Hermione recited. Then she added, "It's crap."

Draco smiled at her. "You added that last part, I'm assuming."

She gave him a small laugh, but soon she was quiet and sad again. She laid her head on Draco's shoulder while he ran his hands through her hair. "You're in a good mood and I'm depressed. Role reversal."

"I've decided to be happy for now," Draco said, "but I reserve the right to change my mind later. And by then, I'm going to need you to snap out of this mood so you can comfort me."

Hermione smiled and nodded against his shoulder. "I love you," she whispered.

Draco tightened his arms around her and whispered back into her hair, "Not as much as I love you."

"It's not a competition."

"Not one you're winning."

* * *

_Present Time: November 2002 / Draco's Time: November 2005_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

A few weeks later, Draco time jumped to the past. He'd been nervously anticipating this jump for awhile, since it was the one when he had first obliviated himself. Though the mystery still remained as to how he had managed something that was widely believed to be impossible.

When he arrived in his flat, nothing was out of place. He went straight to Hermione's to make sure she was okay. She'd told him that he'd left her abruptly the night of the ball with no explanation, but of course, he didn't remember that.

Draco could tell she was upset as soon as she saw her. "Are you okay?" he asked once he was inside.

She led them to the couch, then started to explain what had happened the previous night at the Halloween ball. Draco shot up from the couch and started pacing the room. "That just happened? Last night, you said?"

That made no sense. Draco had studied this time jump thoroughly. When he'd jumped to the future, Hermione said he'd been there for a few hours. Then, he spent a few more hours with her before returning to his time, in the evening, two days after the Halloween Ball.

If Draco was here now, one day after the ball, that meant his future self was with Hermione now and wouldn't leave until the following day. He hadn't shown up obliviated. It had happened there. Then the pieces fell into place and Draco swore.

"Fuck."

He turned to this Hermione and glared at her angrily. "You…" he said under his breath.

Hermione had obliviated him. He felt completely betrayed. This Hermione was looking at him warily and he tried to calm his rising anger. It would take a lot for Hermione to obliviate someone after what had happened with her parents, so she must have had a good reason. Maybe Draco had begged her to do it.

His anger turned to sadness then. That would be so hard for her and she was already so upset about the pregnancy. He couldn't wait to return back to his time and comfort her.

"Me? What happened, Draco?" Draco turned back to this Hermione and rushed to reassure her, but he couldn't hide his obvious distress and the sadness that was always lingering in his eyes these days. He could tell he was upsetting this Hermione, but he couldn't shake his mood. After a few hours with her, he left her alone for the rest of the time jump, reassuring her before he left that her Draco would return the next day.

* * *

_Present Time: November 2005 / Draco's Time: November 2002_

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

When Draco time jumped, Hermione was expecting the younger Draco to show up obliviated and confused, but he was completely lucid, though obviously distressed.

"You know, don't you?" he said in a harsh tone as soon as he found her reading in the sitting room.

"Draco, sit down, we can talk about this."

He ignored her and started pacing the room instead. "I can't believe it. There's no way we chose this," he was muttering to himself. "No…" he paused to check the date on his wand, then looked back at Hermione in disbelief.

"We don't choose to end it?"

Hermione was at a complete loss of what to say. None of this matched what Draco said would happen. Had they managed to change the timeline somehow? She didn't know if she should be comforted or disturbed by that thought.

"Whatever. I can't talk to you right now." He stormed off upstairs and locked himself in the spare room. She didn't even try to follow him in there.

Hermione was still trying to figure out what was going on. Draco was supposed to show up obliviated, talking about his father, but maybe...did obliviate himself here? Would he come out of the room confused and think he'd just time jumped? That made sense, she guessed. Though there was still the question of how he would manage it.

She sighed and shook her head, unsure what to do. He didn't come out the rest of the night and she barely slept in her own room, waiting for him to yell out, or come back and want to talk. When she woke in the morning, she felt like she'd been hit by a train. She did her best to make herself look presentable, then she went to Draco's room and knocked on the door.

He answered instantly, as if he'd been waiting for her. "Oh, uh, hi," she started, suddenly nervous. "I know you're upset, and you have good reason to be. Do you want to talk?"

She studied him for signs of obliviation, but he looked normal. He gave her a curt nod and went back into the room and sat on the bed. She could tell by the twisted sheets that he hadn't slept well either.

"So if I keep on with this timeline, I'm going to die," Draco said, once she'd sat down.

Hermione nodded and her chest clenched at the fear she saw swimming in his eyes.

He took a deep breath, then motioned toward the timeline written on the wall. "I guess you're planning to let this play out until just before the last jump. Then I take the potion, but- it must have been so hard enjoying our time together with the knowledge that it would be forgotten. I can't believe we chose that."

Hermione was quiet. This wasn't what she was expecting him to say at all. Was she going to be the one to put the idea of obliviating himself into his head? Then it hit her. How had she missed this? It was so obvious. She wasn't just going to put the idea in his head, she was going to be the one to do the spell.

She wanted to get up and run away at the thought. Lock herself in her room and wait for her Draco to come back, but then what would happen? She looked back at this Draco and realized he'd asked her something. She had missed his question since she'd been lost in her own thoughts. "What did you say?"

"Can you explain why we chose this path? Why did we choose to stay together until the end, instead of stopping it as soon as I get back to my time?"

Hermione's heart dropped. "You want to end it?" She'd never considered the fact that, had she and Draco learned of his death earlier, they would have made a different decision. Though it made sense. This Draco had only been dating her for a few months.

It was painful to think that he wouldn't have chosen her, but to be fair, would she have chosen him? She tried to remember back to that time, but it seemed like so long ago. She had no idea what she would have decided. He was right, though. Choosing to pursue a timeline that was inevitably going to end would have been an impossible choice, which was why he had to forget. It was the only option.

Draco scooted closer to her until their legs were touching. "I love you, I do, even though I haven't told you yet," he added with a small smile. "But - I don't want to die. And the alternative, continuing on and pretending it's not going to end. And not just end, but be completely erased, I can't see myself choosing that. But I guess, when I go back you change my mind. I'm sure you know what happens, and why. Can you explain it to me?"

He was so polite and eerily calm that Hermione knew he must be using Occlumency. Her mind was racing. She had to convince Draco to let her obliviate him but had no idea how. She knew there was probably a more tactful way to go about it, but she couldn't think of it then, so all she said was. "We don't make this decision. Not this early on, at least. You need to forget, Draco. It's the only way for us to be happy together."

"Forget?" he looked back at her, confused.

Hermione tried to keep her voice even as she spoke. "I'm going to obliviate you, during this time jump, then when you go back to your Hermione, you won't remember what your father told you." Draco made his face completely blank and Hermione took a deep breath before continuing. "We're going to have a wonderful life and become closer than either of us ever imagined possible. But none of that will happen if you don't forget."

Draco looked away from her and focused on something outside the window. "How?" his voice cracked and he took a breath before starting again. "How could you stand to live this out, knowing it's all going to end? Knowing, one day, you'll wake up in another life with no memory of the time we shared together."

Hermione placed a hand on Draco's leg and pulled his cheek so he was facing her. His face was impassive, but his eyes were a storm. "That's not the choice we made, Draco."

It took a few moments for Draco to understand the meaning of Hermione's words, but once he did, he tensed under her touch, then jumped up and started pacing the room. He was swearing and shaking his head while Hermione tried to keep from falling apart. She needed to stay calm and level-headed if she was going to manage a Memory Charm. She was thinking through the technical aspects of the spell, when Draco's voice cut into her thoughts.

"No." He was glaring back at her with his arms crossed.

"No?" Hermione was confused. What was he saying no to?

"I'm sorry, Hermione, but I'm not going to let you obliviate me. I'm going back to my time and I'm going to talk about this with my Hermione. And we - we'll see what we decide." He looked away from her and his gaze settled on the timeline on the wall again.

Hermione stood and grabbed his hands. "No, listen to me, Draco. I know you're scared, but that's not what you decide. You decide to forget, I know you do, please, just listen-"

"No, Hermione!" Draco snapped back, pulling his hands out of her grasp. "I'm telling you what I've decided. I'm sorry it doesn't match what you thought but- maybe it's not a continuous timeline after all."

"No," Hermione whispered in disbelief, but she could see the determination in his eyes. He wasn't going to change his mind, and she saw it all slipping away. The first time they said they loved each other and slept together, which would be later tonight for this Draco. Their wedding. Their honeymoon. All the nights they laid under the stars in bed and bared their souls to each other, and finally, their baby. Everything would be gone.

She turned around and scanned the room. Her gaze settled on his wand on the nightstand. He was watching her curiously and guessed at her plan a few seconds too late. He lunged after her, but she was closer and reached the wand first. She pointed it at him and he stepped back with his palms raised.

"Don't do this, Hermione. I don't want this! This isn't fair. Let me go back to my time and make this decision with your past self. That's the right thing to do. If you do this, you're taking away my free will and I'll never forgive you."

Tears sprang into Hermione's eyes and her wand arm started to shake. "You won't remember," she whispered.

"Hermione, no. Please listen to me." His eyes were angry and scared and so reminiscent of how her parents had looked when she'd raised her wand to them, that she faltered and lowered her wand arm slightly.

Draco noticed the break in her resolve and dove for her legs. She put all her energy into making a shield charm and he hit it head-first, crying out in pain before falling to the ground. Tears were falling freely down Hermione's face now, as she approached Draco warily, wondering if he was just faking and would lunge at her once she crouched down to check him.

She resolved to end it then. It would just get harder the longer she waited. She'd obliviate him first, then check on him. He'd only hit a shield charm, so he couldn't be hurt very badly. Her hand was shaking violently now and her vision was blurred by her tears. Everything about this felt wrong, but she had to do this, to get to the life she was living now.

She pointed her wand at his head and tried to ignore the fact that he still hadn't moved. _Do this spell,then you can check on him._ She stood there for a full minute but couldn't force the incantation out of her mouth. She closed her eyes and thought of Draco making that pregnancy potion and telling her that he'd decided to be happy about the baby. She pictured the gold little collection of cells with that impossibly fast heartbeat. The little baby she'd thought she didn't want, but now she couldn't bear the thought of it not existing.

With the image of that tiny gold figure in her mind, she opened her eyes, pointed the wand at Draco, and said as clearly as she could manage through her sobs, " _Obliviate!"_

* * *

_Present Time: November 2005 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

When Draco returned to his time, he was sitting on the couch with Hermione and they were watching TV. He picked up the remote and shut it off before he turned to Hermione. She'd pulled her legs up to her chest and was sobbing into her knees.

So, he'd been right. She'd been the one to obliviate him. He placed a hand on her back and bent to whisper. "It's okay. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I guess we should have guessed. Everyone knows you can't obliviate yourself."

She stayed with her head down, crying into her knees. He waited there, rubbing her back, until she finally looked back at him. "You're not angry?"

Draco shook his head, confused. There was something he was missing, but he had an idea how to solve that problem. He'd been considering this, as he lay awake in the bedroom of their old flat the night before. "Will you restore them now?"

Hermione's eyes widened in horror and she buried her face back in knees, shaking her head violently. This reaction made Draco want his memories back even more. He carefully placed his hands on her arms. "Please, Hermione. I hate not knowing. And you're the only one who can do it. It has to be the original spell caster, with the original wand."

"Don't make me do this, Draco. Please." Her voice was muffled against her legs.

Draco lifted her chin so she was facing him. "I need to know, Hermione." Draco had no idea what it was he needed to know, but it was clear by Hermione's reaction something significant had happened. He couldn't let Hermione deal with whatever it was alone.

When she didn't move, he added in a more forceful tone. "Those memories are mine, and it's time for you to give them back."

Tears were still flowing freely down Hermione's face, but she finally looked back at him and nodded slowly. He could tell by her eyes she was incredibly nervous. He grabbed her wand from the coffee table and held it out for her. She shook her head and pointed at his wand, which was sticking out of his pocket.

It took Draco a second to catch her meaning. She'd used his wand? Why? They occasionally used each others' wands for small spells, if it was the only one at hand, but neither of them found the others' wand very compatible. They certainly would never choose it over their own wand for a critical spell, like a memory charm. Well, he guessed that explained why the spell hadn't been very precise and why he'd had a headache for days afterward.

Draco pulled his wand out of his pocket. When he handed it to Hermione, he saw her hand was shaking. There was clearly something more going on here and Draco wanted his memories back more than ever before. He nodded at her encouragingly, then she raised his wand and whispered, "I'm so sorry," before saying the counter spell.

Nothing happened at first and Draco thought it hadn't worked. Then a rush of thoughts came flowing into his mind. Talking to his father at the Manor. Kissing Hermione good night. Pacing his flat for hours. Showing up in this house and locking himself in the spare room. Talking to Hermione the next morning. The fight for his wand. Pleading with her to listen, then diving for her before colliding with something and losing consciousness.

"I didn't ask you to obliviate me," he muttered, shocked.

She shook her head.

He snatched his wand out of her hand and ran out of the room. "Draco, wait," she ran behind him up the stairs. "Please listen to me. I didn't want-"

" _You_ didn't want?" Draco turned toward her once they reached the top of the stairs. "No, Hermione. _I_ didn't want this, and you decided anyway. You're the one who did this!"

"You were going to go back and stop the time loop!" she cried.

"Then that was my choice to make! Not yours!"

Draco turned and went to their bedroom and she followed him in there. "Draco - I had to - I just saw it all so clearly, and I knew it had to be me, and I tried to convince you - but that was so early on in our relationship and you just wanted to end it."

"This time last year, you were telling me how you never had a choice in this time loop. And when we thought I was the one to obliviate myself, you were angry with me! But you're the one who started all this! You're the reason we were in the dark for so long."

"I'm sorry, Draco," but she didn't sound sorry. She was upset, but not remorseful.

"Go," Draco pointed toward the hall. Hermione shook her head and seemed to dig her heels into the floor. He crossed the distance between them but refrained from touching her. "You took away my free will, Hermione. You forced this to go a certain way. I told you I wouldn't forgive you before you did the spell, and I meant it. Now go," he repeated. "It's time for you to see what it feels like to be banished from your own bedroom."

She dropped her head and backed away slowly. Once she was in the hall, he slammed the door. She started to talk from the other side so he cast two silencing charms to drown out her voice before going to the bed and dropping his head in his hands.

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

Hermione lay awake for hours that night, wondering where she and Draco would go from here. Had it been a mistake to obliviate him? It was obviously necessary to keep this timeline intact, but did that make it right? She'd promised Draco, years ago, she would never do anything because she found out it happened that way in the future. She had finally broken that promise. Though, as wrong as it felt every time she thought of it, she knew that if she were faced with the decision again, she'd do the same thing.

She finally managed to drift off into a fitful sleep, but was awoken soon after by a soft hand on her chest. Her eyes shot open but she relaxed once she saw Draco crouched at her side. She placed her hand on top of his and took a few deep breaths. "You startled me."

He nodded, still crouched. "Forgive me," he whispered.

She cocked her head in confusion and pulled herself up, so she was sitting. He laid his head on her legs and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm the worst husband, kicking my pregnant wife out of the bedroom."

Hermione stroked his hair. "I obliviated you, Draco. Against your will. You're allowed to be angry."

She saw him nod, but he kept his face buried in her lap and his voice was muffled when he spoke. "I'm so angry, Hermione. It's just coursing through me and I can barely control it. I'm worried sometimes when I pick up my wand that accidental spells will burst out of me. That's how out of control I feel." He lifted his head to look at her. She could barely make out his face in the dark but could still see the agitation in his twisted features. "But I'm not angry with you. I just snapped. I'm so sorry."

"Come here." Hermione shifted to make room for Draco, and he joined her on the bed. She wrapped her arms around him, squeezing him tightly. "I'm very sorry, Draco."

"Do you really forgive me?" he asked.

Hermione shook her head. "If you can forgive me for the terrible thing I did, I can forgive you for being upset about it."

"I do forgive you, Hermione."

She let out a sigh of relief and they sat there in the dark, holding each other for a long while. "I'm glad you did it," Draco said eventually.

Hermione was quiet, then shook her head. "No, Draco. It was wrong. I should have never taken your free will like that."

"Maybe you took his free will, but you did what I would have wanted. That has to count for something."

Hermione turned her head so her face was buried in his shoulder. "I don't know," she said, her voice muffled. "I always assumed we'd make the same decision. I never once considered we'd have chosen something else. But when I thought it was all going to go away...I panicked."

"I know, I'm sorry."

Hermione sighed and turned her head up so she was facing him, but she couldn't see him clearly in the dark. "You say you're angry...well I'm just sad. So unbelievably sad, and I'm so tired of it. But it's just the beginning, after…" she couldn't put words to it now. She figured he knew what she meant and let her voice trail off.

"Do you want to stop it all, Hermione? It's not too late."

Hermione shook her head, then rested it against his chest and listened to his heartbeat. "I think that's the only good thing about this whole obliviation drama."

"What?"

"I told you, at first, I didn't want the baby. But when I was faced with losing it earlier today, I realized I do want it after all. And not just the baby, but all of it. Every beautiful, painful, ugly, and perfect moment of our life. I don't want them to just disappear."

"I know what you mean," he replied. She could tell by his shaky voice that he was holding back tears.

"I have a poem," she announced, after a few more moments of silence.

"Of course you do," he teased.

She took a deep breath before reciting, "'Pick yourself up. Get it together. Not because others have it worse than you. Not because you owe it to anyone to put on a smile. But because you are stronger than you imagine.'"

"That sounds like something Ginny would say."

"Yes, it does," Hermione smiled to herself. "And I'm going to do it. And you should too. I know we're falling apart, but we can do this. We've both made it through worse."

Draco bent down to kiss her, then he laid in the bed and pulled her down so she was pressed against his side. "Okay, fine," he said in a resigned tone. "But can we start tomorrow? I'd like to be miserable for a bit longer."

Hermione smiled against his chest. "Deal."

She listened to the rise and fall of his chest. She considered getting up and going back to their room, but she was extremely comfortable and the thought of moving right now was inconceivable. "Draco?" she asked in a soft voice, unsure if he was still awake.

"Hmmm?"

"I didn't do the other obliviation. I don't see how I could have."

Draco hummed again. "Maybe that one was me. You did one, then I did one. That would make us even."

"But there's still the question of how," Hermione replied, but Draco was quiet and she guessed by his even breathing that he'd finally fallen asleep.

* * *

_Present Time: December 2005 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

** Theo Nott **

"Why did you want me to come here first?" Theo asked once he stepped out of the fireplace into Draco and Hermione's drawing room.

Hermione and Draco looked nervous. Theo crossed his arms and waited for them to tell him what was going on. Whatever it was, he doubted it could be any worse than the fact that Draco was about to time travel right to his death in a few months, making Hermione a 26-year-old widow.

Neither of them were talking, so Theo fixed Hermione with a stern glare. She always broke first, and soon enough, she started to speak. "Well, we're telling my parents about Draco's condition today, though we're going to say it's an incurable illness."

Theo nodded. "I know. That's why you're forcing me to come. We've been over this."

Hermione sighed, "We're going to tell them something else, and, well, we wanted to give you an early warning."

"So you can get the string of swears out here," Draco added. Hermione smirked at him.

"Okay. Just tell me," Theo said, annoyed by all the secrecy.

Hermione took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay, here it goes. I'm pregnant."

"Holy fuck!" Theo swore loudly and his eyes flashed to her stomach, but it looked the same. He didn't know when witches started looking pregnant. The only pregnant witch he'd ever known personally was Ginny Potter, and he hadn't tracked her progress very closely.

"That wasn't as many swear words as I was expecting," Draco muttered to Hermione and Theo wondered how he could be so calm.

"We're telling everyone else tonight," Hermione continued. "That's what the mystery dinner is about. So please act surprised. Daphne will flip if she knows we told you first."

Theo was in shock and seemed to be frozen in place now.

"Uh, Theo? Can you act surprised tonight?" Hermione repeated.

Theo nodded, then managed to ask, "Was this something you planned?"

"Oh, of course not. But it's happening. And it will be after Draco...well, you know..." Hermione bit her lip and Draco pulled her into his side and kissed her on the head.

"Your parents are going to find out they are having a grandchild and losing a son in law in one go?"

Hermione nodded and Draco shrugged. "There's no way they'll take it worse than my mother did."

"Yeah. That was bad." Hermione confirmed with a wince.

"What happened?" Theo asked.

Draco gave Theo a knowing look before saying simply, "She yelled."

"Yelled?" Theo stepped back, alarmed. Pureblood witches like Narcissa and Theo's mother _never_ raised their voices. They talked sternly, pretty much all the time, but yelling...that signaled a lack of control. Theo couldn't picture it but could tell by Draco's face he was remembering it.

"Anyway, let's go. We just need to get it done," Hermione cut in.

Draco nodded solemnly and they took each others' hands before disapparating. Theo let out a string of curses once he was alone, before turning on his heel and following behind them.

Lunch was very bad. Draco and Hermione decided to go with the bad news first, since apparently the other order hadn't worked well with Narcissa. Well, in Theo's opinion, this order was awful too. It was all awful.

After almost an hour of explaining a made-up illness, Draco and Hermione told the Grangers that when Draco eventually died, Hermione would be left behind to raise their child alone. The pain on her parents' faces was so apparent that Theo had to look away.

He wanted to go and smoke, but knew Draco would just yell at him later if he abandoned them now. Hermione kept looking to Theo for comfort of some sort, so he tried to keep his face neutral, since that was the best he could manage right now. A smile was completely out of the question.

Hermione's parents had just begun to accept the Wizarding world and Theo could see Jean starting to hate it again. "Wizards are supposed to live longer and be harder to kill. That was the one good thing about your world," Jean argued.

"There are exceptions, Mum," Hermione said, clearly trying to hold back tears. "This happens with Muggles too. Sometimes people have incurable diseases, like cancer."

Jean just shook her head. "And then, while mourning the loss of your husband, you'll be raising a baby!" Theo felt sick. He'd thought this whole thing was devastating before, but this raising a baby alone part was just too much.

"I know, Mum. I told you it was unplanned. I don't know what you expect me to say. I - I mean, maybe it will be good. Maybe the baby will help anchor me in reality and keep me from floating into a sea of unending depression."

"What did you say?" Theo asked quickly.

Everyone looked at Theo curiously. This was the first time he'd talked since they'd got here.

"Say that again," Theo said to Hermione.

She looked back at him confused. "Sea of unending depression?"

"What the fuck, Theo?" Draco muttered from his right side, but Theo ignored him.

"No, before that."

"The baby will anchor me in reality?" Hermione was confused but looked relieved by the break in conversation.

Unfortunately, Theo wouldn't be able to stick around to provide any further distraction.

"Fucking hell," he swore under his breath, then rose and threw his napkin on the table. "I need to go." Before anyone could say another word, he took a step back from the table and disapparated with a loud crack.

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

"Shouldn't we wait for Nott?" Ginny asked, once everyone was sitting at the dining table. Hermione looked over at Draco and he shrugged. They had no idea what was going on with Theo and hadn't heard from him since he'd left lunch so abruptly earlier that day.

"Uh, no, we'll catch him up," Hermione said eventually.

"He already knows what this is about, doesn't he?" Daphne asked and Hermione didn't make her face blank in time.

"Dammit, Hermione! What is wrong with you?" she hissed, and Hermione lost her temper.

"Shut up, Daphne! Okay? God - I've had an awful day and I feel like absolute shite so, please stop yelling at me!" Daphne's green eyes widened and she leaned over and whispered something to Blaise. Hermione was too drained to care if it was something mean or nice. She felt Draco's hand on her leg and squeezed it.

"Whoa, uh, Hermione. Are you okay?" This question was from Ron.

"No, she's not. She's pregnant," Draco responded brusquely. Then, he glared at everyone around the table, as if daring them to say something bad about it.

Harry was the first one to break the silence. "Bloody hell."

"I'm not sure if we're supposed to be happy or sad about this," Ron muttered to Ginny.

"Yeah, Weasley," Draco snapped back. "That's our general feeling about the whole fucking thing, too. Apparently, we have Blaise to thank for this."

Everyone's eyes widened in horror and Hermione couldn't help but laugh. "Not like that!" Draco exclaimed. "The baby's mine. It's just his fault Hermione got pregnant. One of his slags messed with her contraceptive potions when she was staying with him over the summer. We tested them and they're just colored water. The slag must have stolen the real potion."

"Why was Hermione staying with Blaise?" Ginny asked.

"Oh, so she doesn't keep secrets from just me," Daphne cut in. "At least I knew about that one."

Hermione was about to tell Daphne off again when she heard shouting from upstairs.

"Hey, idiots! Come up here!"

Hermione looked at Draco and they both asked at the same time, "Theo?"

"He's been in the house the whole time?" Blaise asked and Draco and Hermione shrugged.

"Does he live here now?" Daphne asked. "Merlin, that little weasel."

Hermione ignored her and went upstairs to see what Theo was up to. Draco was right behind her, followed closely by the rest of their friends. Theo was in the spare bedroom and the bed was covered with books and loose pieces of parchment.

Theo motioned for everyone to come in and once they were all crammed into the small room he pointed toward the wall.

"Yeah. We know about this. We made it," Draco said in an irritated tone. "Tell us what the fuck all this is." Hermione rubbed his back comfortingly. Maybe it hadn't been a good idea to tell her parents and their friends on the same day. They were both still on edge after the grueling lunch with her parents, but all that was forgotten with Theo's next words.

He was smiling, which was more rare for Theo than it was for Draco. "I know how to fix it. You can have it all: each other, your baby, and your life."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I apologize for making so many of you cry in the last few chapters. I'm not trying to make this story intentionally sad just to wound everyone, I'm just trying to write realistic reactions to death. I know it seems like I wrote myself into a corner, but I have a plan for a way to make everything okay.
> 
> The other end of the time jumps in this chapter were in Chapter 20. The mystery of the first obliviation is solved. Some of you guessed Hermione, so kudos. And even though I wrote this, I'm not sure how I feel about her actions. That was selfish and Draco was right to be angry, but then again, she was protecting her present day family. But as you all have probably noticed by now, all the characters in this story are flawed, so neither of them are going to do the exact right thing all the time, which is clearly evident in this chapter.
> 
> The quote from the "American bloke" was from Abraham Lincoln. The poem Hermione says that sounds like Ginny is from Lang Leav.
> 
> Anyway, Theo came in with some hope at the end. Yay! We'll see what that's about in the next chapter.
> 
> Thanks to my beta readers Lancashire Witch and Kimmeh B. Come see me on Tumblr (Alexandra-Emerson) for more content related to this story. And thanks for reading!
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Fri, Jan-15.


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46**

_You have said_

_all the things_

_I need to hear_

_before I knew_

_I needed to hear them._

_To be unafraid_

_of all the things_

_I used to fear,_

_before I knew_

_I shouldn't fear them._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: December 2005 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

"I know how to fix it," Theo said. "You can have it all: each other, your baby, and your life."

Hermione was beaming when she looked back at Draco, and his heart leapt at the sight of her looking so happy again. He was so used to getting one piece of bad news after the other by now that he wasn't as ready to take Theo at his word as she appeared to be.

"Explain," Draco said harshly. Theo nodded seriously, his smile gone now.

"Right...well, it's rather complicated." He looked around at the group, as if assessing their mental capacity.

"I don't care," Draco said. "Just start talking."

Theo nodded again. "Okay. Well, I've been studying the concept of multiple realities."

"Since when?" Hermione cut in. Draco wanted to tell her off for interrupting Theo in the middle of his explanation but knew better.

"Oh, uh, starting when Draco first told me about the time jumping. But I didn't really throw myself into it until this summer." Theo explained quickly, looking between Draco and Hermione.

"You could have told us, Theo," Hermione responded. "We would have helped."

Theo shrugged. "I didn't know if it would come to anything. And I figured Draco wouldn't want to spend his last few months studying at Nott Manor when he could be doing better things. Like ruining steaks," he added in an undertone to Draco, suppressing a slight smile.

"Can we fast-forward to the part where you tell us how to fix this?" Draco asked.

"Yeah. I'm with Malfoy," Ron chimed in. "We can talk about what a swot Nott is later."

Theo sneered at him, then turned back to Draco and Hermione. "Anyway, I started researching alternate realities," he motioned toward the papers on the bed, "and I figured out a way for you to end this before you die, but keep your life together." He touched the wall on the spot right above Draco's last jump. "Take the potion right after the second to last jump."

Draco's heart fell. Was that it? He'd been hoping for more. "We thought of that, Theo. I know it completes the timeline for Hermione, but that first jump for me was important. I may not have made all the same decisions I did along the way without it."

Theo smirked at him. "But you didn't consider the baby."

"What?" Hermione asked. "What about the baby?" Her hands settled on her stomach subconsciously.

Theo turned to her and smiled again as he grabbed her arms. "You made me think of it when you talked of the baby anchoring you in reality. Well, it can anchor you to this timeline too. Or, more accurately, one very similar to it."

"What? How?" Draco asked quickly. He'd never considered something like this, and he was scolding himself for not researching like Theo had. He'd been wasting his time flying and trying to learn new spells when he could have been doing something useful.

"This is where it gets complicated," Theo warned. Draco waved for him to continue. "Okay, so there are an infinite number of realities, or timelines, as we've been calling them. There's one for every decision point along the way. One where you asked Hermione out and she said no. Another where she listened to that letter I gave her and postponed the wedding. One where she didn't come back from Blaise's flat. And yet another still where your baby was never conceived."

Draco nodded. "I know that. Get to the part with the anchoring."

"You've been assuming this whole time that one little change at the beginning would impact everything, but that's sort of over-simplifying it."

"That's the butterfly effect, Theo," Hermione interrupted. "It's a well-known concept of time travel."

"It's _one_ of the concepts," Theo argued, "but it needs to be considered alongside physics, and the conservation of magical energy principle."

"Meaning?" Draco pressed before Hermione could interrupt again.

Theo pointed back to the wall. "If you complete this Flourish and Blotts jump then all your interactions with Hermione will be set from her perspective. With Hermione's timeline complete and with the addition of the existence of your baby, that's two magical beings against your one. Don't you see? It would take a lot of energy to remove an entire being from existence.

"If you don't take this last jump, things will certainly change. Your father will probably die, and you'll obviously be in a different state of mind when you first meet up with Hermione. But the beginning things will all reorganize to align with Hermione and the baby's timelines."

"What? Are you sure?" Hermione asked. Draco looked around the room and saw that everyone was confused. Draco thought it would be a lot to risk if they were to believe in Theo's hunch. But Theo seemed completely convinced.

"Think of it like this," Theo continued. "Imagine lining up all the possible timelines side by side and ordering them by the amount of magical energy needed to jump from one to the next. Can you picture that? There would be this timeline. Then right next to it something very similar but with an insignificant difference. Something like if Potter was ill and couldn't come tonight.

"Then, those differences would grow. Like if I never figured things out with Bennett. But all of those are relatively small. Entire people being added and removed are larger. The timeline where the baby exists and a timeline where the baby doesn't exist will be very far away from each other on that spectrum."

"And you're saying that if we alter that first jump," Hermione spoke excitedly, "we'll go to the nearest timeline, using the least amount of energy to keep the reality as similar as possible. And your assumption is that Draco and I will still be together and we'll still have this baby?"

Theo nodded. "You two talk like there's only one timeline where you ended up together, but there are millions, all with little differences. Knowing you two, and how compatible you are, there are multiple ways that you could have found each other."

Draco looked over at Hermione and she looked as nervous as he felt. It was a big risk, but would it be worth it if it worked? What about if it didn't work? Draco didn't even want to contemplate that possible option.

"I have a question," Harry cut in. "What will happen during that first jump if Malfoy takes the potion?"

Theo pointed back to the timeline. "The past Draco would still come forward, but this time, this Draco wouldn't switch with him. So, the past Draco would see both of you together, or not, depending on what you two want to do there. And Lucius, well, he'd probably die."

"But that would be a big change in energy, wouldn't it?" Blaise asked. Draco was impressed he'd been following along so closely.

Theo nodded. "If there is any way for Lucius to save himself, he'll manage it, because you're right. The universe will prefer to replace this timeline with one as similar as possible. But if there is no way for Lucius to get out of the way of whatever danger killed Draco, well, then he will die. Then when past Draco goes back, he'll find Lucius dead in the parlor. And he'll continue with his time jumps, traveling forward to a future with Hermione, until finally deciding to end them."

"But how will he know he needs to end it?" Hermione asked. "Lucius was the reason we finally found out about all this."

Theo shrugged. "It will be different, but I'm certain that baby will still exist. So your memories will change, the circumstance of all this time loop stuff will change, but you will make that baby. Maybe you can discuss the logistics of what needs to happen with the past Draco when you meet him in that last jump."

"This is incredibly confusing," Daphne muttered to Ginny, who nodded back at her sympathetically.

"Explain it again," Draco said to Theo. "And show me some of the research."

Theo went on to explain the concept twice more and showed the relevant research. Everyone besides Hermione, Draco, and Harry left about an hour in to go eat dinner, but Draco barely noticed. His mind was racing with all the possibilities. It seemed that Theo was onto something, but there was no way to prove it.

"How did you do all this research in such a short period of time?" Hermione was asking Theo.

"It was nothing," he grumbled, but she shook her head and hugged him anyway.

"Thank you, Theo."

"I had help," he admitted once she pulled away. "Bennett translated a ton of journals for me, but he didn't know what it was all about," Theo added quickly. "He still thinks Draco is dying of some rare curse."

"I'll have to thank him when I see him again," Hermione said, then she turned to Draco. "Well? What do you think?"

"It's a risk." Draco said, trying to piece together every possibility in a matter of moments.

"Everything's a risk." She smiled. "But it's your decision."

Draco shook his head. "It's our decision, Hermione. It always has been."

She turned to the bed, picking up a blank piece of parchment and tore it in two. She handed one piece to Draco with a quill and started writing on her own piece.

"What are they doing?" Theo whispered to Harry.

"No idea," Harry whispered back.

Hermione finished writing, folded her piece, and handed it to Harry. Draco did the same and handed his piece to Theo when he was done.

"What's going on? What do I do with this?" Theo asked.

"Read it out loud," Hermione said.

" _A chance at a life with Hermione and our baby,"_ Theo read out loud. "So, you're going to try it?" Theo asked, like he was surprised Draco was actually going to listen to him.

Draco ignored Theo. His eyes were on Hermione, watching for her response. She was smiling widely and he didn't need Harry to read what she'd written to know what she'd chosen.

" _I trust Theo. Let's try it,"_ Harry read out loud.

"Shite," Theo swore. "You're both going to kill me if I'm wrong, aren't you?" Theo was only half joking when he spoke.

* * *

**Lucius Malfoy**

Lucius was working at his desk when the family clock chimed. He absently looked up and saw Draco's hand leaving the _London House_ spot. He was about to focus back on his task when he saw the hand land on _Malfoy Manor._ He stood up and walked towards the doorway but he'd barely made it two paces before Draco appeared in the study.

"Father. You're here." Draco looked tense, but the nervous energy around him seemed to be positive. His eyes were bright with hopeful anticipation as he started to pace the room.

"Yes, I'm here. What do you need?" Lucius sat back down behind his desk. He waited silently for Draco to regain his composure and tell him what was causing this odd mood.

Draco walked over to the desk but paused when he saw the scroll laid out in front of Lucius. "You're working on that? But, I thought you accepted Hermione!" Draco's eyes were angry now and Lucius was alarmed by the abrupt change in his demeanor.

"How do you know what this is?" Lucius asked.

Draco turned away but Lucius saw the contrite look on his face before he did so. It was the same one he'd had as a boy when he'd done something wrong.

"You broke into this study last year, when your mother and I were on holiday, didn't you?"

Draco looked back at Lucius defiantly. "Did Mother tell you that?"

Lucius was surprised he hadn't tried to deny it. All that time spent with Hermione was making Draco bolder, Lucius surmised with a silent chuckle. "I have several wards around the room to alert me anytime someone enters. I knew someone was here. I just didn't know who. I assumed it was your wife."

Draco shrugged, "Don't try to change the subject. Why are you working on that? I know it's a list of old laws that will keep any children of mine and Hermione's from inheriting our estate." Lucius bristled slightly, but he let the insolent tone slide. Draco was just trying to protect his family, he reminded himself. He picked up the parchment he'd been working on and handed it to Draco.

Draco gave Lucius one last glare before scanning the parchment. After a few moments he looked back at Lucius with surprise. "You're trying to revoke it?"

Lucius nodded. "Rewrite it, technically. None of these laws can officially be revoked, but they can be changed. And luckily, your wife is fairly good with navigating the legislative system. She also has quite a bit of pull with the Wizengamot."

Draco shook his head and handed the parchment back to Lucius before lowering himself into a chair facing the desk. "I'm sorry, Father, for assuming-"

"No matter, Draco. I'm guessing this isn't why you came. So tell me, how can I help you?"

"It's a long story, but Theo did a lot of research into alternate realities and time travel. He believes if I take the extraction potion right before my last time jump, after all my interactions with Hermione are complete from her perspective, that we'll still be together in the alternate timeline we end up in. It has to do with energy conservation and it being too hard to undo a baby."

"I understand," Lucius said in a flat voice as he worked to maintain an indifferent expression. In truth, he didn't understand Theo Nott's theory, but he understood that Draco had decided to stop the loop after all. Now he was back to that mixture of relief and dread as he thought of dying so his son could live.

"I'm sorry, Father," Draco said in a kind voice. "Theo said there's a possibility you'll still live. Apparently, the universe would prefer that option."

Lucius waved him off. "I've studied the memory countless times. Without you to pull me out of the way, I would have died. But I will be fine, Draco. This is what I've wanted the whole time. And I'm glad the other timeline will be a happy one for you." He took a deep breath and focused on sitting up as straight as he could manage. He always found this helpful whenever he was trying to keep his mind off something.

"You know we already used the extraction potion last summer," Draco continued. "Uh, do you have any more?"

"No. But we can make more." Lucius stood and approached the safe, glad to have something to do. He sliced his hand quickly and placed it on the handle. When he opened the door of the safe, he gasped. It was empty.

"What is it?" Draco was at Lucius's side and was looking just as surprised as Lucius. "Where did it go?"

Lucius shook his head. "I have no idea."

"When did you last see it?" Draco asked. Lucius was glad to note his tone wasn't accusing, just questioning.

"It's been years," Lucius admitted. "Not since I made the first potion in 2002."

"I saw it just last year, when I was searching in here. So, it disappeared sometime between now and then…" Draco's voice trailed off. He pulled out his wand and tried a few spells on the safe, but none of them showed anything helpful.

"There are only four people who can get into this safe," Lucius said when Draco was finished with his spells.

Draco took a deep breath and dropped his head. "It wasn't Hermione. She doesn't even know where this is, and I don't think she'd know how to open it."

"It wasn't me, Draco," Lucius said in a rush. "Please believe that."

Draco gave him a curt nod. He turned to look at the portrait on the opposite wall of Lucius, Narcissa, and Draco as a boy. "That just leaves Mother, then, right? But that makes no sense."

"Let me talk to her. I'll see what I can find." Lucius assured him, placing a calming hand on his son's shoulder.

Draco looked devastated again and dropped his head before saying in a low voice, "I shouldn't have allowed Hermione to hope. I should have known something like this would happen. Nothing has turned out in our favor this entire time."

Lucius squeezed Draco's shoulder, trying to reassure him. "Draco, there's still time. We'll find it." He said the words with as much confidence as he could muster. He had no idea if they were true though, but he wouldn't worry his son needlessly. "And don't forget," Lucius added, trying to keep the dread he was feeling from his tone. "There's one more option."

"What?" Draco's eyes were shining with unshed tears when he looked back up at Lucius. Lucius was instantly reminded of how Draco looked as a boy when someone didn't go his way.

Lucius took a deep breath. "It's simple. When you jump back to that day at the parlor, save yourself, and let me die."

* * *

**Hermione Granger-Malfoy**

Draco and Hermione spent Christmas morning with the Potters at Grimmauld Place. Ginny was still suffering from newborn-induced sleep deprivation so she wanted to pass on a loud Christmas at the Burrow. She and Harry also had Teddy for the week, while Andromeda was visiting with relatives abroad.

Draco was currently playing upstairs with Teddy and Hermione was glad he was getting to spend uninterrupted time with him while James napped. She looked at her watch and sighed. They'd have to leave for dinner with her parents soon. At least Theo and Bennett would be there.

Her mum and dad were still upset, understandably, that their son-in-law might not be around much longer, but all her mother wanted to do when she saw Hermione was talk about plans for the baby. That was the last thing Hermione wanted to think about right now. She would have plenty of time to plan for the baby after March. Right now, she just wanted to focus on Draco.

There was still the hope of Theo's theory lingering in the back of their minds, but both of them were trying hard not to think about it too much. They had to find the last piece of the time turner first. Lucius told Draco he'd talked to Narcissa. She told her husband that she hadn't touched the safe in years.

"Should we go rescue your husband?" Harry asked from the other side of the couch.

Hermione nodded and stood up to join Harry. "We need to go, anyway. I want to stop by the house before we go to my parents'."

Hermione heard Draco laughing as she walked up the stairs. At the sound of her name she stopped just outside Teddy's room. Harry stopped behind her and raised a questioning eyebrow at her, but she wasn't paying attention. She was straining her ears so she could hear the conversation being had in the room.

"Are you and Aunt Hermione really going to have a baby?" Teddy had asked Draco.

"Yes, and I'm almost certain it's going to be a little boy." Hermione rolled her eyes at Draco's response. From the moment they found out she was pregnant he'd been calling the baby "he". Hermione had taken the opposite side just to make a point. She honestly had no idea what the gender would be and didn't particularly care as long as the baby was healthy.

"What's his name going to be?" Teddy asked.

"No idea. That's Aunt Hermione's decision." Hermione's heart dropped at that statement. It was supposed to be both of them deciding together. She dropped her head, fighting back tears, and Harry placed a comforting hand on her back.

She was about to walk into the room when Draco started talking again and she paused to listen.

"Teddy, I need your help with something."

"Okay."

"My little boy. I need you to look out for him, okay?"

"Why?"

"He might be alone sometimes, because, well, he won't have siblings, like you. So, maybe you could take him under your wing. Make sure none of the kids beat him up. Can you do that for me?" Hermione could hear the tears behind Draco's uneven tone and took a deep breath to stop her own tears from falling.

"Like a big brother?" Teddy asked.

"Yes. Exactly like a big brother."

Hermione couldn't control her crying anymore. Harry wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest while she sobbed silently into his shoulder. "Teddy's not the only one who's going to look after him," Harry whispered into Hermione's ear.

"Or her," Hermione whispered back, and Harry smiled.

After a few moments, Harry let her go and went to collect Teddy, telling him Ginny needed his help getting dinner ready.

"Are you okay, Aunt Hermione?" Teddy asked when he saw her leaning against the wall and wiping her eyes.

She nodded and Draco responded from the doorway, "Sometimes pregnant women can't control their emotions." He gave her a small smile and cocked his head toward the bedroom.

"Potter loves eavesdropping, doesn't he?" Draco teased, once they'd both sat on Teddy's bed.

"It was me this time. Sorry," she mumbled half-heartedly.

He pulled her into his side and kissed the top of her head. "I forgive you. It's certainly not the worst thing you've ever done."

Hermione laughed. "No, certainly not. Uh, about what you told Teddy, when he asked about the baby's name. You can have a say too, Draco. We can pick a boy's name and a girl's name."

"We won't need the girl's name," he said confidently, making her roll her eyes.

"But a boy…" he continued, looking up at the ceiling for inspiration. "I always wanted to name my son Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy."

"Absolutely not," Hermione said sternly. "I will never have a child with that name."

Draco smiled back at her. "You're convinced it's a girl. So why do you care about the boy's name?"

Hermione stood up and put her hands on her hips defiantly. "Fine. I'll pick the girl name and you pick the boy name. But, please, consider it for a little longer. Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy is a truly awful name."

Draco laughed and pulled her so she was standing between his legs. Her arms automatically wrapped around his head and her fingers stroked the hair at the nape of his neck. "I assume you came up here to tell me it's time to go?"

She nodded but didn't make a move to leave. Her expression told him that she was lost in her thoughts.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Hermione sighed. "It's all this mystery surrounding the time turner piece. We know it's still around, since it's the only thing that keeps bringing you back to this time, but where is it?"

"It has to be one of my parents. But I'm sure my father wasn't lying. He looked just as surprised to see it gone as I did. And what reason would my mother have for taking it?"

"Maybe to save your father?" Hermione asked.

"Over me? She's chosen me over him in the past. Why wouldn't she choose me again?"

Hermione sighed again and dropped her head, resting her forehead against his.

"We'll find it, Hermione. I'm going to talk to her once she returns from France. She's never been very good at lying to me."

Hermione nodded and tried to plaster a smile on her face.

"You're going to need to do better than that if you're going to fool Jean Granger," Draco teased.

"I don't need to fool her. She knows why I'm sad. I just - I don't know, Draco. There's still so much we don't know about what's going on. Like we're still unsure who obliviated you the second time, and now the missing time turner shard. Life just won't cut us a bit of slack, will it?"

"I know, Hermione," Draco said, pulling her in for one last hug before standing up. "I have no idea what's going on either, but I intend to find out."

* * *

_Present Time: December 2005 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

"When are you leaving tonight?" Hermione asked as Draco finished up buttoning his shirt in front of the mirror.

"In the middle of dinner with my parents. You'll find it very amusing," he added cryptically.

She came up behind him to check her own appearance. She scowled at herself and went to change for the third time that evening. "I hate all my clothes!" she yelled with her head in the closet.

"Yes, you've mentioned that a few times," Draco responded as politely as he could. Hermione had been having terrible morning sickness for the past month. He was worried she'd waste away, since she barely managed to keep any food down. The lack of food didn't help her stomach from being bloated and making all her clothes feel uncomfortably tight, though.

"And you're sure I'm not allowed to wear sweatpants?" she asked again.

"You can wear them, but I can guarantee my mother will have a few unkind things to say about them." Draco explained, just as he had the previous times she asked.

Hermione finally settled on a simple black dress with a pair of black leggings and black boots. She went to her vanity and pulled out the diamond necklace that Draco had given her two years ago for Christmas. After fastening the necklace in place, she turned to him with an apologetic expression, "I know it's simple for the occasion, but I'm finally comfortable, so…"

He silenced her with a kiss. "You look gorgeous."

"I'm going to miss you," she replied, waving off his compliment as she walked back over to the mirror to put the finishing touches on her makeup.

"I'm going to be there," he pointed out. "Just a different version. Plus, you get to tell me about the baby tonight. That will be exciting."

"When do I do it?"

"You'll know." She rolled her eyes at his vague response.

"Well, you'll get to see your father giving me dance lessons." A small smile graced her lips at the memory, even though at the time it had been unpleasant.

"I know," his eyes lit up. "I've been looking forward to that sight since you first told me about it."

When Hermione finally seemed satisfied with her appearance, she turned to Draco, who had been sitting on the bed watching her finish getting ready. She cast an appreciative glance down his form before smiling.

"Ready?"

"Tell me something, Hermione," he said seriously.

"What?" She asked, slightly worried about what he would ask.

"Who do you love the most out of all the Dracos?"

She smiled. "You, of course."

He cocked his eyebrow at her, "You'd say that no matter which Draco was asking, wouldn't you?"

She crossed her arms. "Which Hermione do you prefer?"

Draco thought about it for a long time. He hadn't been expecting to have to answer the question himself. "The one I'm with."

"So you're saying that, in a few hours, you'll be preferring another Hermione over me?"

"Until the second I get back. Then you're back in the lead." Draco said with a cheeky grin.

"Interesting. I'm not sure how I feel about that response."

"It's the same as your response. Just different words," he pointed out. "It's the response of someone dedicated to living in the moment." He stood up and made his way over to her. He leaned in and kissed her cheek before wrapping his hand around hers to lead her downstairs. He stopped them when they were at the fireplace.

"I know I won't be here to celebrate the New Year with you as myself, but try your best to enjoy it, okay?" he asked before throwing the Floo powder into the flames.

"I will," she was smiling, but he could see the sadness in her eyes. "I'll see you in 2006."

* * *

_Present Time: October 2005 / Draco's Time: December 2005_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

Draco watched his father try to instruct Hermione for a few moments with a smile on his lips before pulling himself away. He could watch that all night, but there was one thing he wanted to check whilst he had the chance. He slipped out of the ballroom quietly and went straight for his father's study.

The study was empty when he reached it, not that he expected otherwise. Entering the room silently, he walked to the safe and opened it. He swore under his breath when he realized the piece of the time turner was gone.

"So much for that plan," Draco mumbled. He had planned to give the piece to the Hermione of this time and have her brew the extraction potion.

He slammed the door of the safe shut with a curse and turned to leave the study. He had thought it was his mother who had taken it after she learned of the time travel, regardless of his father's assurance that he believed her when she said she didn't. He didn't know why she would have taken it and lied about it, but his mother in this time didn't know about the time travel yet. If it had been Narcissa, the piece would have still been in the safe during this time.

Draco had just started to trust his father again, but he started to wonder if his father had lied to him. He pulled up Occlumency shields to clear his mind, trying to also quell the rising panic in his chest. All Draco knew for certain was that he had no idea what was going on.

On his way back to the ballroom he passed his mother in the hall. Her voice pulled him from his thoughts of the time turner piece.

"Draco, what are you doing back here?" Narcissa asked, concern clear in her tone.

"I just wanted to check on something. Why are you not at your party?" It wasn't like her to leave the party unattended.

"Oh, I just came to check on you. I saw you run off." She waved him off. Her statement had a flippant tone to it, which caused Draco to gaze at her curiously.

She was hiding something, he realized. He could see it in her eyes. He had no idea what she was hiding, or why, but his curiosity was peaked. Offering her his arm, Draco escorted his mother back to the ballroom. He watched her carefully for the rest of the night, but she didn't leave the ballroom again and gave no indication to what she was hiding.

* * *

_Present Time: January 2006 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Narcissa Malfoy**

"Mother."

Narcissa jumped when she saw Draco's face in the mirror on her vanity.

"Draco!" She turned to face him and wrapped her robe tighter around herself. "What are you doing here? And at this hour?"

"I'm sorry for the late visit, but I've been meaning to talk to you for awhile. You've been in France since Christmas and yesterday, well, I couldn't get you alone before I jumped."

Narcissa nodded and rose to meet him in the doorway. "Is this about the missing time turner piece?"

Draco's eyes brightened and he nodded. Narcissa's heart fluttered at the hope she saw there. It was such a welcome contrast to the sorrow that had been lurking in his grey eyes for months.

"I hid it. Like you instructed me to," she said simply, studying his reaction carefully.

"What? When?" Draco asked, surprised. She hadn't initially believed Draco when he'd talked to her at the Halloween Ball. But he clearly hadn't remembered that conversation, which fit with what he'd told her that night.

"At the Halloween Ball two years ago. You approached me and told me about the shard of glass in your father's safe. You also told me that it was imperative that I hide it somewhere that it would never be found again," Narcissa explained.

"I told you that?" Draco asked, shocked, trying to come to grips with this fact.

Narcissa nodded. "At first I ignored your instructions, since it was clear you didn't remember our conversation, or, at least, wouldn't acknowledge the conversation." She looked away from Draco to hide her eyes.

"Then, when Hermione asked for the key to your father's study, I assumed you were going to do the task yourself. When I checked the safe after our trip, the glass was still there. That's when I decided to go ahead and hide it, like you'd instructed."

She paused to take a breath before turning her head to face him. When she saw how intently Draco was studying her, she had to look away from him again and focus on a spot behind him. "Then, when you finally told me about the time travel and what that piece would do-" she cut off, embarrassed.

"Why didn't you say anything?" he asked softly.

"You said you had chosen to live out this timeline. I thought it didn't matter anymore." Her voice was contrite when she spoke again.

"It's okay, Mother. You can just give it to me now."

Narcissa shook her head sadly. "No, Draco. I hid it somewhere where it could never be found, like you asked of me."

"Go unhide it!" he yelled and she winced, taking a step back from him. He softened his tone when he spoke again. "Mother, it's the key to reversing the time loop. You know that now. And I'm pretty certain that when I reverse it now, I'll still be with Hermione and we'll still have the baby."

"And what will happen to your father?" Narcissa asked, but she knew the answer even before he responded. She could see it in his eyes.

"He'll likely die," Draco responded in a low voice.

"I'm sorry, Draco, but I don't have it anymore. I did as you instructed, and it kills me knowing that I got rid of the one thing that could save you!" Narcissa took a deep breath and turned away from him. "I didn't know what it was at the time, and that's all thanks to you and your father keeping me in the dark for so long!" she added harshly.

"What did you do with it, Mother?" Draco pressed, sounding almost desperate.

"I took it with me to France and brought it to the Enchanted Forest. I met a traveler and told her to hide it. Then when she returned, I obliviated her so even she wouldn't remember where she'd put it."

"Well we have to find her. Then you can remove the Memory Charm, and she can show us where it is," Draco argued.

Narcissa shook her head dejectedly. "I already told you. She was a traveler, I made sure of that. She was leaving that same day to go back home, and I have no idea where she lives. It'd be easier to search the forest, inch by inch, than to find that woman again."

Draco looked devastated at her words. After a few moments, his eyes filled with determination. "Then that's what I'll do." He turned to leave but she caught his arm. She hadn't expected him to go searching for it.

"Draco, the Enchanted Forest is five times as large as the Forbidden Forest and just about as dangerous. You could die searching for this." She tried to entreat him with her eyes not to do something so foolish.

Draco sighed and dropped his head. "Is this true, Mother? This story? That I told you to take the piece and hide it, and that you hid it in this way?"

Narcissa took a deep breath and steeled her features. "It's true," she said in a clear voice.

"After this conversation we had at the Halloween Ball, did you obliviate me?" He asked quickly, as if trying to catch her off guard.

"No," she responded just as quickly, offended by the question.

Draco studied her for a while longer. Then seemingly satisfied with her response, he straightened his spine and turned to the door. "I have to find that piece," Draco intoned as he left the room quickly, slamming the door behind him. Once he was gone, Narcissa let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

She walked back to her vanity, took a seat, and looked at her reflection for a long time. There was a photo, next to the mirror, of Draco and herself when he was a small child. She didn't remember his exact age, but it was when he'd first started looking like the man he would later become. She had studied this photo for many hours, especially when the Dark Lord had inhabited their home.

She carefully touched her fingers to his chubby face before opening the drawer of vanity. In the drawer, wrapped loosely in a white monogrammed handkerchief, sat the small shard of the time turner. Tears started flowing down her face as she looked at it. She closed the drawer carefully then picking up her hairbrush, she monotonously began to brush out her long locks.

"I'm sorry, Draco," she said to the picture on her vanity. "I love you, but I can't let your father die."

* * *

**Blaise Zabini**

"Mr. Zabini. Draco Malfoy is here to see you," Blaise's secretary said from the doorway of his office.

"Let him in," Blaise said, as he cleared his desk. He was curious what Draco wanted to talk about, especially since he insisted on meeting Blaise here. The fact that Draco wanted to meet here, instead of at his home, probably meant he didn't want Hermione to overhear, which just intrigued Blaise further.

Draco was carrying several files under his arm as he entered the office. When he reached Blaise, he placed them carefully on the desk, before spreading them out across the top. When the files were spread out to Draco's satisfaction, he launched into a detailed description of a system of bribes and blackmail that the files contained. Each file was dedicated to controlling a separate news outlet in Britain, and explained how Draco had managed it all.

"Shite," Blaise swore under his breath after Draco finished his explanation. "I always wondered how you two managed to keep your name out of the papers. I never guessed it was something as intricate as all this, though." He picked up the file on the current owner of the Daily Prophet. The file contained numerous pictures of him with a woman who, Blaise knew, was not his wife. "Fuck, Draco. And here I thought you'd turned soft…"

Draco cocked an eyebrow at him. "Did I come to the wrong person with this? Can you keep this going when I'm gone?"

Blaise nodded as he tried to ignore the pang in his chest caused by Draco's last words. _When I'm gone._ A month ago, he'd thought Draco was going to live after Theo explained that complicated theory. Then a week ago Draco had come by the flat and broken the news about the missing time turner piece and how he probably wasn't going to live, after all.

Draco had learned that, on a previous time jump, he had asked his mother to hide the last piece. Most likely in an effort to keep himself from reversing the time loop, and Narcissa had done her job well. Almost too well. Blaise knew Draco was searching for the missing piece in the expansive and dangerous foliage of the dense Enchanted Forest. Sadly, no one, including Draco himself, thought he would be successful. The area was too large, and there wasn't enough time.

This was a point of contention between Draco and Hermione. She didn't want him in the forest at all. She constantly pointed out that he could very well die while searching for the thing that was supposed to save his life, and that it was keeping him from enjoying his last few weeks with her. He'd argued that it was his idiotic self who'd taken this drastic step and it was his job to do everything in his power to fix it.

Blaise had heard from Daphne that they had settled on a compromise. Draco was allowed to search for two hours each day, but that was it. He also had to go with Potter or Weasley. Blaise wondered what those two thought about the whole thing. He figured, based on the fact that Draco hadn't canceled this meeting, that he hadn't been successful during his search of the forest this morning.

Blaise shook his head and focused back on the papers spread out in front of him. He picked up another file on a well-known political columnist, who had recently fallen out of favor with all the major papers. "Wait a minute. You're the reason Carter stopped writing?"

Draco shrugged. "I think he still writes. I'm just the reason they stopped publishing his stuff."

"Shite," Blaise swore again.

"He came out with that string of articles against Muggleborns and how they were unfit to lead. I warned him if he wrote anything like that again, it would be the last thing he wrote. And, well, he didn't listen." Draco shrugged as if it was the easiest explanation in the world, and to him, it probably was.

Blaise nodded as he picked up another file. "Anyway, Hermione wants to be Minister for Magic one day, and you and I know that campaigns like that start 20 years in advance. The owners of all the major papers and magazines know what will happen if they publish anything against Hermione, me, our child, or Muggleborns in general. But I'm worried a few of them will start to push the limits once they learn of my death. That's why I need you."

"I understand," Blaise responded. He knew what Draco was asking of him, and he was confident he could carry it out. It was helpful that Draco seemed to have taken thorough notes of every interaction he'd had with each of these people.

"So you're giving up hope of finding that time turner shard?" Blaise asked, trying to keep his tone light.

"I gave up hope of finding it after my first visit to that forest. But - I have to search. Otherwise I'll go mad." Draco looked away from Blaise and focused on one of the files before changing the subject. "I'll transfer a large sum of money to your vault, but if you need more, just ask my father. And when it comes time for Hermione to run, will you manage her campaign?"

"Of course. Free of charge." Draco smirked at that and Blaise saw his gaze flicker out the window. Blaise wondered if he was looking toward his old flat, which was two streets away and barely visible from this view.

Blaise crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. "You knew about the flat the whole time, and me short-changing you, didn't you?"

Draco's smirk widened. "Who do you think told Hermione?"

"That witch…" Blaise smiled to himself. He could not believe she'd played him like that. "She'll be a good Minister for Magic."

Draco's smirk turned into a real smile then. "The best." Blaise's heart wrenched at the look of love on Draco's face. He looked away and started reviewing some of the files Draco had brought in, in more detail.

Draco left shortly after and once he was gone, Blaise turned his chair and looked out the window as he thought about his friend. That's where Daphne found him, an hour later, when she came to meet him for a late lunch. He saw her approach from the reflection of the window. She bent down and wrapped her arms around him. "What's wrong?"

Blaise was silent at first, then he sighed and motioned toward his desk. "I just saw Draco. He's passing along all his blackmail files."

"Ohhh...the ones that have been keeping him and Hermione out of the papers all these years?" Daphne let go of him and went to study the papers on Blaise's desk.

"You knew?" Blaise asked, surprised.

"I didn't know the specifics, but I knew there was something at play. There had to be to keep those vicious tabloids from reporting on one of the most interesting couples in London. After us, of course," she added with a smirk.

Blaise nodded. Daphne was incredibly clever. He watched her as she looked through the files and smiled as her signature wicked smirk appeared on her face. Soon, her expression turned sad. He figured she was realizing what he had figured out himself just a few minutes into Draco's visit. All of this was Draco's way of planning for his death, and in a month or two, he'd be gone for good.

"He's going to die, isn't he?" Daphne asked eventually. Blaise nodded at her, sadly.

"Potter hasn't done shite," Blaise sneered. "What the fuck is the point of Draco being friends with that annoying git if he's not going to swoop in and save him from certain death?"

"I know. Believe me, I'll be having words with Ginny when this is all done." Daphne said as she approached him again. She climbed into his lap. It was a tight fit on his desk chair, but he wrapped his arms around her so she wouldn't fall. "But we need to be strong for her, Blaise," Daphne added in a softer voice.

Blaise looked back at the folders on the table. "I know. Fucking prick."

"Who? Potter?"

"No, Draco. If he'd just died five years ago, when I barely liked him, this would have been no big deal. But he had to go and make us all into this inseparable, loving group of friends, then leave. Fucking wanker."

Daphne smiled. "We'll still have Theo. And that Bennett bloke isn't so bad, for a Hufflepuff."

"Those are very poor replacements for Draco," Blaise argued.

"I agree. Maybe his son will be like him."

"Maybe, but it will be several years before he's interesting." Daphne nodded and started trailing her finger along the collar of his shirt. "I hope he has bushy hair," Blaise muttered.

Daphne smirked. "Draco would hate that." She stopped to look at him and her light green eyes were tender and loving, a look she reserved for him alone. Blaise tightened his grip on her.

"You're not allowed to leave, Daphne," he whispered.

She smiled and placed a kiss on his jaw. "I wasn't planning on it."

"Good," he said before moving his hand behind her head and kissing her deeply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: If you all thought Theo's thing was going to be a quick and easy fix and that we'd have solved this by the end of this chapter, then you all obviously don't know me well enough... Of course there's something else off, and this time it's Narcissa. What is going on with her? Her actions seem so odd and out of character…hmm...
> 
> Thanks for bearing with me through Theo's explanation. It is completely made up and I know little to nothing about physics and energy conservation and the real-life theories of how alternate realities work. But this is the magical world, so it's all made up anyway, right?
> 
> The other side of this time jump was in chapter 44. Thanks to my beta readers Lancashire Witch and Kimmeh B! Come see me on Tumblr (Alexandra-Emerson) to ask a question or to see more content related to this story. Thanks for reading!
> 
> In other news, I asked my husband last night if given the option between dying next year, or being transported to an alternate reality where he didn't know me or my kids, which he'd choose. He chose alternate reality in seconds. After I explained that he'd never know me, might be living with an evil wife, and that our kids would never exist, he still chose the alternate reality. Oh well...maybe I should choose alternate reality too and I'll end up with a more Draco-like husband.
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Sun, Jan-17.


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 47**

_Standing in a bookstore, near a street where you used to live, I found myself wishing you would walk through the door and we would meet for the first time - all over again._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: January 2006 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Hermione Granger-Malfoy**

Hermione was in bed reading a pregnancy book when Draco walked into the room covered in mud from head to toe. He slumped against the wall. Hermione winced at the thought of the mud staining the wallpaper, then she shook her head. _Perspective, Hermione._

She put her book down, rose from the bed and went to his side. "Are you okay, Draco? Are you injured?" She patted her hands along his body looking for injuries. He just seemed dirty and tired, not hurt.

"I'm fine, really." His voice was weak. "I just need a shower."

Hermione followed him into the bathroom and leaned against the sink. Once he was in the shower with the water on, she started peppering him with questions.

"Did Harry or Ron not go with you this time?"

"Weasley was there, and if you can imagine it, he looks worse than me."

"What happened?"

Draco had his head under the water and was washing the mud out of his hair. Hermione saw the water was brown and wondered how he could have possibly gotten this dirty.

"It was nothing that bad, Hermione," Draco said once he'd finally got his hair back to its normal color. "We encountered a group of unfriendly centaurs and had to run away. We hid in a shallow pond that ended up being more of an over-large mud puddle. Then, once they ran past, we apparated back."

"Draco, you need to stop doing this. That forest is dangerous."

She saw him sigh and he turned away from her. He didn't say anything else for the rest of his shower, but he wasn't going to get rid of her that easily. She stayed and watched him with her arms crossed. When he had showered, dried off, and wrapped himself in a towel, he finally turned to face her.

"You know why I have to do this," he said in a low voice, grazing her cheek with the back of his hand. "I did an awful thing, telling my mother to hide the shard that night at the ball. I made a decision on our behalf without consulting you, and now our one chance at fixing all of this is gone."

"Draco," Hermione stepped closer to him and took his face in her hands. "You're not the only one who acted rashly without consulting the other. I know I don't need to remind you of what I did. But we both know this search is a lost cause. You're just wasting your time and putting yourself in danger every day. Please stop looking. I'm begging you."

Draco took a deep breath and rested his forehead against hers. "Give me until the end of the week, then I'll stop."

Hermione nodded, knowing this was probably the best she was going to get. "Thank you, Draco." She wiped a streak of mud from his neck that he'd missed during his shower before stepping back and turning towards the bedroom. "I'll let you get dressed."

Returning to the bed, Hermione laid back down and continued reading her pregnancy book. Once Draco was cleaned, dried, and clothed, he joined her on the bed, laying his head on her belly. He turned on his side, with his ear pressed against her stomach, so that he was facing her before asking, "Will I be able to feel him before….?"

"Her," Hermione corrected as she put her book down on the bed. "I was just reading about that. By the end of the month, I should be able to feel her moving around in there. But it usually takes several weeks after that before someone else can feel the baby moving. That puts us at the end of February. So yes, I think you'll get to feel her before you go."

Draco nodded. When he blinked, she saw a tear escape his eye and quickly reached to wipe it away. "Do you have any idea when, in March, the goblins are going to finish that branch in Scotland?" she asked.

He'd told her that during his first time jump, which would be the last for this Draco, he'd seen a copy of the Daily Prophet on the table with an article about the opening of a new Gringotts branch in Scotland. That event was what they were using to mark the time of his last jump, since they didn't know the exact date.

"My father and Blaise are doing everything they can to delay it, but it looks like they can't push it back any further than the second week in March. Wizards have very little influence with goblins, as you know."

Hermione nodded and started rubbing his head. That gave them eight weeks. Draco closed his eyes as she ran his fingers through his still damp hair. After a few minutes he lifted his head and cocked it toward the pregnancy book she'd been reading. "Did you learn anything? Besides when you'd start feeling the baby move?"

"Nothing much," Hermione shrugged. "Studying pregnancy is interesting, but what I really need is to get a book on babies. I know little to nothing about them and I'm worried I'm not going to know what to do when she's here."

"Can you please reconsider getting a house elf?" he entreated. "Just for a few months. My parents will loan you one of theirs in a heartbeat and I'd feel so much better knowing you're not going to be alone in this house with a new baby."

Hermione bit her lip and dropped her hand from his hair. "I have been thinking about it, Draco. And I'm not budging on the house elf, but I've been talking to Astoria and I think she's going to move in here for a few months to help me get settled in the beginning."

"Astoria?" Draco sat up in the bed.

Hermione shrugged. "Daphne offered first, but I told her she should stay with Blaise. Their relationship is still new and he's sensitive about people, especially women, leaving him, even though he'll never admit it. Astoria was there when we were talking and she said her husband leaves for a few months every summer to America, for his job, so she'll be alone anyway and wouldn't mind helping."

Draco gave her a concerned look. "That's nice of her to offer, but is that going to be weird for you?"

Hermione shook her head. "I'm not going to be in a position to say no to help. Astoria is so sweet, and I'd much prefer her to a house elf. And we both know even though the rest of our friends won't live here, they'll be here so much, it will feel like they do."

Draco leaned up to place a kiss on her cheek before laying back on her stomach. "I wish it were me," he said in a shaky voice. He took a deep, cleansing breath to get his emotions under control and added, "but I'm glad you won't be alone."

"No, Draco. We won't be alone," she whispered. Though, she knew, once he was gone there would be a giant hole in her heart that only he could fill. Even if she was surrounded by hundreds of people for the rest of her life, she'd never stop feeling alone.

* * *

**Harry Potter**

When Harry stepped out of the flames into Hermione and Draco's drawing room, he saw Hermione practicing spells from the parenting book Ginny had lent her a few weeks ago. He guessed she was working on the spells Ginny had said were most useful for handling newborns and was glad to see Hermione finally planning for the baby's arrival. She originally seemed to be in denial about the pregnancy and acknowledging it seemed healthier to Harry.

"Harry! What are you doing here?" she asked. Before he could respond she launched into a monologue. "If this is about you having to give up an Auror every day to accompany Draco while he searches that stupid forest, I understand what a huge imposition that is for you. But I can't bear him doing it alone and he promised he'd give it all up by the end of the week. And-"

"It's not that" Harry cut in. "The whole thing is very hard to manage, though, so I'm happy to hear it's ending in a few days."

It was incredibly difficult to free an Auror for a few hours every morning to go to France with Draco. Not only that, but whichever Auror he sent usually came back exhausted, thus making them useless for the rest of the day. It didn't help matters that Kingsley had recently caught on to the fact that several Aurors were making frequent trips to the Enchanted Forest. He had approached Harry about it last week, forcing Harry to lie to him and wave it off as a training exercise. Harry could tell Kingsley knew there was more to the story, though. Luckily, he trusted Harry enough not to press him on the issue further.

If it had been anyone besides Hermione asking, Harry would have said no. After everything she and Draco had been through already, he was desperate to give them any help they needed. Harry, like Hermione, didn't think Draco's search would come to anything, but he was willing to do whatever he could to help.

Harry looked back at Hermione with a serious look on his face. She stopped the spell she was currently practicing and motioned for them to sit on the couch.

"What's wrong?" she asked once they were seated.

"Nothing's wrong. I had a thought, when Malfoy started searching the Enchanted Forest, and-" he cut off, nervous about his next words. He wasn't sure how Hermione was going to take it.

Harry took a deep breath and started again. "It reminded me of the Forbidden Forest, and something I left there the night Voldemort died. I know I told you it was lost, but I'm confident I could find it, if you wanted me to."

Hermione hitched her breath and Harry could tell she knew what he was talking about. She dropped her head and he saw several tears fall into her lap. When she looked back at him, her face was etched with pain and Harry's heart jolted at the sight of her. He scooted closer to her and pulled her against his chest.

"I can't, Harry," she whispered after laying her head on his shoulder. "You know the story and what happened to the second brother. The girl he brought back with the resurrection stone didn't belong in the world of the living, and the second brother knew it. He went mad with longing for the living version of her."

Harry pushed Hermione back so he could see her face. "I know, Hermione, but you wouldn't use it to bring him back for good. You could talk to him, when things get really bad. And you could show him his child, just a few times. I'll make sure you don't overdo it."

This last point was why Harry had come up with this idea in the first place. When he thought of his children, and the possibility of never having met them, his heart broke for Draco. He was still haunted by the look of pain on Draco's face as he cried while holding Albus at the New Year's Party a few weeks ago. At least Harry's parents and Lupin had known their children, even if it had been for a short period of time. Draco would never meet his child, though, and that wasn't fair.

Hermione shook her head and tears started flowing silently down her face. "You're the true master of death, Harry, and the only person who should be using those hallows. I won't be strong enough to stop. Saying no, now, is taking every ounce of strength I have-" she cut off and laid her head back on his shoulder while she sobbed.

"I didn't mean to make you sad," Harry murmured, as he wrapped her arms around her.

"I know," she said against his shoulder. "You're trying to help. Your offer is incredibly tempting, but I have to refuse. And please," she lifted her head to look at Harry. Her eyes were fierce and determined behind her tears. "Don't offer again. Even if I change my mind later and beg you to get the stone for me, you have to say no."

Harry nodded sadly, torn between wanting to help his friend in any way he could and trying to accept the logic behind her argument. He didn't have a problem leaving the stone where it was. He'd accepted his parents', Sirius's, and Lupin's deaths by now and wanted to leave them at peace in the afterlife. The question that plagued Harry was, would he be able to leave the stone where it was if it was Ginny on the other side of the Veil? He tried not to think about it, but the question had been in his mind since he found out about Draco's fate.

"I understand," he said eventually. "I just don't know how to fix this for you, Hermione."

She gave him a sad smile through her tears. "You don't have to fix everything, Harry. Just be here for me. That's all I need."

"Done," he said. Then he leaned back on the couch and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his robes.

"Oh, Mr. Potter, there you are." Harry and Hermione were both startled by the appearance of a young man's head in the flames of the fireplace.

"Wallace?" Harry asked, recognizing one of the Aurors in training.

"Sorry to bother you, but Mr. Weasley told me you might be here and there is a woman demanding to speak with you. She's causing quite a stir over here."

Harry sighed. He didn't need this today. "Tell her I'm busy, and happily married," he added with a scowl.

"Oh uh, I don't think it's like that…" Wallace replied in a nervous voice. "She says it's urgent and refuses to talk to anyone besides you."

Harry sighed and turned to Hermione, giving her an apologetic look.

"You can go, Harry. When I said I wanted you to be here for me, I didn't mean you weren't allowed to take breaks," she gave him a small smile.

"Right. Okay, I should go deal with this witch, whoever she is. Hang in there, Hermione," he leaned over to give her a small peck on the cheek. "I love you, and everything's going to be okay."

"If Draco were here, he'd say everything's not going to be okay, and you're an idiot for saying so."

Harry smiled back at her. "Well, it's good to know that even after he's gone, you'll be around to say it to me instead."

* * *

_Present Time: February 2006 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Hermione Granger-Malfoy**

Hermione had been standing in the doorway of the spare bedroom for thirty minutes now. She was trying to work up the courage to walk inside. She needed to clear the bed of Theo's notes on alternate realities and clean the timeline off the wall. All she had to do today were those two tasks. Tomorrow, or maybe even next week, she could take out one or two pieces of furniture. Then over time, hopefully before the baby arrived, she may actually have a baby room setup.

Maybe she should wait for Draco to come back. She thought it would be better to do these baby prep tasks without him. They made him unbelievably sad, but doing them alone made her unbelievably sad, so there really was no winning.

Right now, Draco was completing his second to last time jump. He had decided to go out for groceries before remembering that that was what he'd been doing when he time traveled. He warned her he'd be gone for a few hours but that he wouldn't forget to get the food they needed to make dinner later.

Hermione smiled as she thought of what Draco was doing now. He was bursting into Flourish and Blotts and calling her stunning, throwing her completely off balance. Then he'd told her he'd make her believe in him. Well, he'd certainly accomplished that.

She took a final breath before pointing her wand at the papers on the bed and vanishing them in one go. She then turned to the wall and cleared the words written there. She sat on the bed and looked around the room, forcing herself to choose the best spot for a crib.

Hermione was still sitting on the bed a few hours later when Draco returned home. His face fell when he saw her. She figured she must look pretty miserable and tried to put a smile on her face. He sat on the bed with her and linked his fingers with hers. He looked around the room, but he didn't say anything about the cleanup she'd finally managed.

"You're more stunning here than you were there," Draco said when he looked back at her.

She scrunched her face in protest. "You're lying."

"I'm not," he said seriously. "You should have seen how that Hermione looked at me. She really hated me."

"She was younger and not fat."

"You're beautiful," he leaned in and gave her a small kiss on the lips. When he pulled away, he reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked like a page ripped from a book.

"Please don't tell me you ripped that out of a book while you were at the bookstore," Hermione scolded.

Draco shrugged. "I left some galleons behind. Plus, you ran off after a few minutes and I knew I had a few hours to pass before I'd come back. So I looked around for a poem to bring back for you, since you love poetry so much."

He smirked and opened the page with a flourish. "Are you ready?" he asked.

She shook her head and smiled. "You're so dramatic."

"Okay, here it goes, Hermione. _'When I saw you first_ ,'" he paused his recitation and cocked his eyebrow playfully, "Obviously, I'm not thinking about Hogwarts, which is when I actually first saw you. We're going to pretend this isn't referring to that, but this most recent meeting in Flourish and Blotts, when I first re-met you in your timeline, okay?"

Hermione nodded and waved for him to continue. "Okay," he restarted. "' _When I saw you first, it took every ounce of me not to kiss you_ ,'" he looked back up at her and kissed her cheek. "And that's true, it really did. Though I know you probably would have slapped me if I'd tried it."

"I certainly would have," she responded with a smile.

He looked back at the page. "' _When I saw you laugh, it took every ounce of me not to fall in love_.'" He paused again and added, "I think I first heard your laugh after we'd started researching together. And I fought very hard not to fall in love with you, but we both know I lost that battle." Hermione's smile widened.

Draco dropped his eyes to the page again. "' _And when I saw your soul_ ," he stopped for a third time and this time when he looked at her, his eyes were stung with tears. " _It took every ounce of me_ ," he finished.

 _And when you leave, Draco,_ Hermione thought to herself as tears flooded into her own eyes, _you'll take every ounce of me._

She broke down then and Draco wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "No, no, no," he muttered. "This was supposed to make you happy, not sad."

Hermione tried to respond, but she couldn't speak through the sobs that had overtaken her. She stayed there crying for a long time. When she finally regained her composure enough to speak again, she said what she'd been thinking for weeks, but hadn't been desperate enough to voice yet.

"Don't save him, Draco," she begged, her voice cracking from her emotions. "Lucius has had a good life, and he doesn't want you to die for him. He has said so himself that he wants you to live. So, please Draco, save yourself and come home."

"I doubt it will be that simple, Hermione."

"But if it is, if you have the chance to save yourself or your father, you have to choose yourself. Choose us. Promise me that you'll come back to me, alive. I couldn't bear it if you don't."

Draco bit his lip, then his face went blank and she knew he was using Occlumency. "I'll try, Hermione," he said in a flat voice. "I promise to try my best to come back."

* * *

**Lucius Malfoy**

Lucius was staring absently at the portrait of him, Draco, and Narcissa on the wall of his study when the family clocked chimed. He didn't bother looking at the clock. He knew it was Hermione coming to meet with him. Sure enough, she appeared in the doorway a few moments later.

"I can't thank you enough for this, Lucius," Hermione said as she took the seat in front of his desk. "This would have been such an annoying chore for me to manage on my own and you did most of the work for me."

Lucius waved her off. This was obviously the least he could do, given everything that had passed between them, and everything that was still to come. "Just sign here," he pushed the new legislation he'd drafted across his desk to her. Once he had her signature, he knew that getting this passed through the Wizengamot would be simple.

Hermione paused with her quill in the air above the parchment. He watched as she ran her fingers lightly over Draco's dried signature on the line above the spot where she had to sign. He looked away from her, uncomfortable by the unexpected intimacy of such a simple gesture. He heard the scratch of the quill and when it stopped, he looked back at her and saw she'd only written her first name. His eyebrow rose in question.

"Does it need to be 'Hermione Malfoy?'" she asked, "to match our child's surname, or is 'Granger-Malfoy' okay for this?"

Lucius cocked his head at her. "You're not giving your child your hyphenated name?"

She shook her head. "It was important to me to keep my parents' name, for a number of reasons, but those don't apply to my child. And she will be the Malfoy heir, so she should have the surname to match."

"You mean he." Lucius smirked, making Hermione roll her eyes. She motioned back toward the parchment in front of her. "Your legal name is fine here," Lucius finally answered.

She nodded before returning to sign her name. The sound of the quill tip scratching on parchment was the only sound in the room for a few seconds. When she was finished signing, and the ink was significantly dry, she handed the parchment to him with a slight smile. "I'll file this with your former department. In a few weeks the law will be changed, and your child will be eligible to inherit the Malfoy fortune."

"Thank you, Lucius." Hermione smiled widely.

Lucius nodded, but couldn't help from shifting slightly, embarrassed by the sincerity of her tone. He'd worked with her on a number of laws in the past, but they'd always been at opposite sides of each argument. This was the first time they'd worked together on something and it was surprising how efficiently they'd managed the task. Although he would never admit it out loud, Lucius would be happy when she returned to work. The wizard they'd replaced her with was incompetent.

Lucius looked down as he placed the parchment in the top drawer of his desk, needing a small reprieve from the uneasy feelings her gratitude invoked in him. When he looked back at Hermione, she was staring at the pensieve on the bookshelf.

"Do you know what Draco looks at when he comes here to study the pensieve?" she asked, keeping her eyes on the bookshelf.

Lucius did know, but he was pretty sure Hermione hadn't meant for him to actually answer her question, so he stayed quiet.

"He told me he relives our best moments," she continued, her voice cracking at the end.

Draco had been coming to the Manor for months to study the pensieve. Once he'd given up the search of the Enchanted Forest, he'd replaced those trips with visits to the Manor. Whilst Lucius knew he spent a great deal of time reviewing his own memories, it wasn't all he did in there. But he also knew Draco hadn't told Hermione what else he was reviewing.

When Hermione looked back at Lucius, her eyes were filled with sorrow and longing and he knew exactly what she was thinking.

"When Draco leaves," he said evenly, staring intently into her sad, brown eyes, "I'll be moving the pensieve into one of our vaults. And I'll be hiding Draco's portrait there, too."

Hermione nodded sadly and looked down at her lap.

"You can't dwell on past memories, Hermione. You'll get lost. But once a year, you can pick the day - perhaps your wedding anniversary, or Draco's birthday - I'll bring them here for you and you can spend the whole day living in the past. But that's it. Do you understand?"

When she looked back at him her eyes were brimming with tears, and she nodded slowly before dropping her head in her hands. "I don't think I can do it, Lucius," she said in an uneven voice.

Lucius started to reach for her, but didn't want to alarm her, since they didn't quite have that type of relationship. Instead, he pulled a handkerchief out of his robes and placed it on the desk in front of her. She nodded in thanks when she saw it and turned away from him as she wiped her eyes.

When she tried to give the handkerchief back to him, he shook his head, telling her to keep it. She stood up, pocketing the handkerchief and thanked him one more time before turning to leave. When she reached the doorway, he called out to her and she turned and waited for him to speak.

"I know it seems impossible right now, but you will get past this tragedy."

"How do you know that, Lucius?"

"Because you are strong, and you must. For your son," Lucius said simply.

"Daughter," she corrected with a smirk.

"We'll see."

"Thank you, Lucius," she said before turning to leave. Once she was gone, Lucius turned back to the portrait he'd been studying before she came. He tried to reign in the overwhelming sadness that conversation brought on, but the longer he stood there looking at the portrait of his family, the worse he started to feel.

"Please, Draco," he whispered to the little boy in the frame. "Don't be a hero. Save yourself."

* * *

_Present Time: March 2006 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

The next month raced by. Besides a few hours at the Manor every morning, Draco spent every waking moment with Hermione, trying to savor his time with her as best he could. By the end of February, both he and Hermione had almost accepted his death. A sort of peace had settled in on them at that time. Sadly, it was gone by the beginning of March; specifically the day Draco felt his child kick for the first time.

His emotions were what he would assume a hurricane felt like. For months the two of them had been desperately sad before the calm of the last few weeks settled on them. The moment he felt his child move in his wife's womb, an onslaught of nervous energy crashed into him. He was suddenly desperate to survive; though he knew he was powerless to stop what was coming. He was constantly assessing his body for the feeling of vertigo that meant he was leaving, but he tried to remind himself that it wouldn't come out of nowhere. There would be signs, like the article in the Prophet, and so far, the goblins hadn't finished that project yet.

Draco had finished making dinner, glad that Hermione was over her morning sickness because that meant she was eating again, and went upstairs to check on her. She was in the bath, her head leaning against the back of the tub, with a book levitating in front of her a few inches above the water. The sight made him smile and his heart ached at the beauty of his wife.

Entering their bathroom, he approached the tub, his eyes never straying from Hermione. She didn't seem to notice his approach, which suited him just fine. Upon reaching the tub, he sat on the tile floor next to the bath, his side pressed into the cool tub, and pulled his legs up to his chest. Hermione glanced at him briefly with a small smile before resuming her reading.

Whilst she was engrossed in whatever she was reading, he reached his hand over the side of the tub and trailed his finger along the baby bump that had just started showing a few weeks ago. He used his fingertips to draw runes on her skin with the bubbles from the bath, completely enraptured by the sight, a dreamy smile on his face. After several minutes, Hermione turned to look at him, closing her book. She reached over the side of the tub to place it on the ground next to Draco so she could focus on him instead

Draco tilted his head slightly to read the title of the book and shook his head. "I told you to stop reading books like this," he scolded. It was another one of those Muggle books about people with chronic illnesses that always made her so sad. He hated that she read them, since the books gave him a small glimpse of the devastation that would be in her future if, _"or, more likely, when,"_ he thought to himself, he died.

"I've told you. It helps me to see my thoughts and feelings written out. Putting words to it helps me identify the emotion so I can start to move past it."

Draco sighed. "Okay, if you say so. It just seems incredibly depressing."

"You researched dying people and their loved ones at the beginning," she pointed out.

"Yeah, but I haven't done that in ages, since it's - you know...," _the end_. He didn't add the words, but they were both thinking them.

"I'm sorry that you hate it, but something occurred to me while I was reading this," she had a large smile on her face as she motioned to the closed book.

"What?" He cocked his head slightly, wondering what would make her smile from those gut-wrenching, depressing, and emotional stories.

"It's sappy," she warned.

He stopped tracing patterns on her stomach and turned to face her. "You know I secretly like your sappy comments."

"Everyone, and I mean _everyone_ , knows you love my sappy comments, so that's not a very well kept secret," she teased. "Well, the woman in this book lost her boyfriend after a grueling battle with cancer. And she kept thinking to herself that they didn't get enough time."

She shifted in the water so she was facing him and gripped the edges of the tub tightly. Draco placed his hands on top of hers, his thumb tracing circles across her skin as he waited for her to continue.

"I feel similarly, obviously. I think we both do," she continued, and Draco nodded in response. "But then I realized that our love has never been bound by time, has it?"

Draco tilted his head slightly in confusion, unsure of what she meant.

"First, I loved your future self, though I didn't know it at the time. Then, I grew to love you in the present. And finally, I learned, and struggled, to love your past self - but I got there in the end," she added with a smile. "And now, I love you across the entire spectrum of time, and it's not going to stop when you leave." She bent down and kissed each of his hands, before looking back up at him with a breathtaking smile.

"Our present may be getting cut short, Draco, but that doesn't mean our love will be. I'll love you until the end of time." She spoke with such conviction and love that Draco became slightly overwhelmed with emotion, forcing him to close his eyes and take a deep breath.

When he opened them again, Hermione was looking back at him. Her entire face was lit up with the love she had for him, making her look more beautiful than he'd ever seen her. Lifting his hand, he pushed her wet curls away from her face, grazing his fingers across her jawline. He leaned into her, leaving just a breath space between them.

"Oh, Hermione," he whispered, "you truly are the most incredible person I've ever known." Her smile widened even more, forcing him to stop speaking and take another deep breath for fear of breaking down. Lifting his other hand, he cupped her face between them, his thumbs stroking the soft flesh of her jaw. "I want you to have a long, happy life, once I'm gone. Enjoy our son, Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy," he added with a smirk and she rolled her eyes. "Enjoy our friends, and our son's family. Remarry, if you must," he paused to sneer, and her smile trembled slightly as she fought back tears. "But know this. I will be standing on the other side of the Veil, as close to the edge as they'll let me, waiting patiently for you to appear. And when you do, we'll continue what we're going to be forced to put on hold for a short while."

Hermione brought her hands up to cover his, her fingers wrapping around his palms so she could squeeze his hands and nodded sadly. "It's probably good that it's you who is leaving first," she said in a low voice, "since you know how awful I am at standing still and patiently waiting for things."

Draco couldn't stop the tears from breaking free, leaving wet streaks down his cheeks. He leaned forward, resting his forehead against Hermione's as her own tears fell to mix with his. They stayed there for a long while, just kissing and crying, wondering how many more moments like this they had left.

* * *

The next morning, Draco was awakened by Hermione's shriek from downstairs. She was holding the Daily Prophet and he could tell by the way she was looking at him what was on the front cover. He forced himself to look down and read the headline: _New Gringotts Branch Now Open._

Hermione started hyperventilating. Draco pulled the paper out of her hand and placed it on the table, unaware that he'd folded it slightly, so the date was hidden. "Breathe, Hermione. It's okay. It's not today."

"What?" she said through her breaths as she tried to calm herself down. "How do you know?"

He pointed at her blouse. "You weren't wearing that."

She looked down, then back up at him in disbelief. "Tell me what I was wearing so I can burn it!"

He laughed. "You know that won't work. If we try to do something like that, something weird will happen, like your wand will backfire and turn your current shirt a different color or something. Anyway, we're fine, at least for today. We still have a little more time."

She relaxed against him and started playing with the hem of her shirt. "You've been reviewing that memory when you visit the pensieve?"

"I think I've seen that one more than any others," he admitted. "I don't know if I told you, but I visited it multiple times, even before we got together. What you said to me that day, I've always remembered it. It was sappy, and lovely," he added with a smile.

"And you had no idea I was pregnant?"

"I can tell when I visit the memory now, but I wasn't expecting that at all, so I didn't see it. Plus, you're hardly showing, and you cover it with these loose shirts." He slipped his hands under the shirt in question and gripped her sides as he pulled her in for a kiss. "Let's eat breakfast," he said once he managed to pull himself away. "Eggs?"

They didn't talk about the paper again, but it was clear that it was at the forefront of both of their thoughts. They both figured this was probably one of their last days together and they spent most of it cuddling in bed. They talked about plans for the baby and tried to imagine how each of their friends would behave around a small child.

Hermione asked Draco a few more random questions and showed him how she'd been writing everything down so she could pass it on to their child one day. "You don't have to tell him _everything,_ " Draco said as he subconsciously rubbed his forearm.

"I will tell her everything, Draco," Hermione said seriously. "Even about the war, when she's old enough. It's a part of you, something incredibly difficult that you had to overcome, and you don't need to be ashamed of it."

Later that day while they were cooking dinner, Hermione asked Draco to pick some spices from the garden. He went outside and a few moments later, the feeling of vertigo came over him. Shite, it was happening. He'd been wrong about her blouse.

Panic started to rise in his chest. He almost ran inside to see Hermione one last time, to tell her how much he loved her, and that he'd never stop no matter where he ended up, but he stopped himself. He had one minute before he was about to be thrown into chaos and he needed to use it wisely.

Hermione knew he loved her, and he didn't need to go into this last jump with an image of her falling apart in his arms. He needed to be calm if he was going to do what he needed to do. He took several steadying breaths and gripped his wand tightly before he flickered out.

* * *

_Present Time: March 2006 / Draco's Time: January 2000_

* * *

**Hermione Granger-Malfoy**

Almost as soon as Draco went outside Hermione spilled oil down the front of her shirt. She swore and set the pot to simmer before running upstairs to change. When she returned to the kitchen, Draco was still outside. She assumed that he might be taking longer because he'd decided to pick flowers, too. As she went to retrieve the vase from the sitting room, a heart-stopping realization hit her with full force. Draco had told her that the shirt she had put on this morning wasn't the one she was wearing in his memory, but she had just changed her shirt.

She ran back to the kitchen carrying the vase but stopped in the hall when she saw a younger Draco looking at her with his wand raised. The vase slipped from her hands, crashing to the floor and shattering, as heart-wrenching sobs shook her entire body.

"Uh, Granger? What happened? Do you need something? Or someone?" Draco approached her cautiously, but Hermione barely noticed.

When she realized how close he was to her, she threw herself at him, wrapping her entire frame around him. He felt all wrong, though. He was stiff and unyielding, but she ignored it. She pretended this was her Draco as her world fell apart. She may have been expecting this moment for months, but now that it was here, it hurt worse than she'd ever imagined.

She poured her heart out to this Draco, but she could tell she was scaring him. She wasn't saying it for this Draco, she reminded herself. The words she spoke were for her husband, who would watch this memory multiple times. He'd replay her words in his mind for years, and later, take them to his grave.

Draco untangled himself from her grasp and backed away. "You're not making any sense, Granger. I don't know what you're trying to do here, but I don't want any part of it." She realized too late he was about to disapparate.

"No, don't go. I need you!" Hermione yelled desperately, trying to get him to come back, but Draco was already gone. Without the support that Draco had given her just then, she slid to the floor the rest of the way. Her frame curled in on itself as her body trembled from the strength of her sobs. "Don't go, please, Draco. Please don't leave me," she kept repeating the words through her hysteria, but it was too late. He was gone, and he wasn't coming back this time.

* * *

**Blaise Zabini**

Blaise jumped when he heard the sound of someone apparating and started searching the flat for the unexpected visitor. He started when he saw Draco and knew instantly what this meant. "Draco?" he asked and immediately saw this was a younger Draco and not the one he'd played chess with the week before.

"What are you doing in my flat, Blaise?" Draco looked agitated and angry. Daphne called from the bedroom and when Draco heard her voice, he rolled his eyes and turned on his toe, disapparating before Blaise could say another word.

"Fuck!" he swore loudly as Daphne appeared in the main room.

"What happened? Who was that?"

Blaise dropped his head in his hand. "Draco. It happened just as he said," he was muttering and he felt Daphne place a hand on his arm.

"We need to get to Hermione," she said. Blaise swallowed back his tears and went to the hall closet to grab their cloaks, glad to have something to do. He gave Daphne a quick kiss before Floo-ing to Draco and Hermione's house. He found Hermione sobbing in the hall, her arms wrapped tightly around her legs.

"Get the others," he told Daphne. She nodded and went to the drawing room while he crouched down next to Hermione in the hall.

Blaise tried to tell her to get up, but she wasn't paying attention to him. Leaning down, he scooped her up as best he could and carried her to the couch in the sitting room. She seemed to recognize him then. She threw her arms around him and started talking quickly into his shoulder.

"I tried to tell him everything," she was saying. "I knew this Draco wouldn't care, but my Draco, he watched the last memory in the pensieve all the time. He said he'd never forget what I told him."

Blaise patted her back comfortingly. He had no idea what she was talking about, but it seemed really important to her and it was taking her mind off of crying. "What did you tell him?" he asked kindly.

"That I loved him, and it was worth it, and that I'd do it all over again." She started crying again and buried her head back against his chest. "I told him I loved him regardless of the time, and that I'd never stop."

Weasley walked into the room just then. Blaise motioned him over and had him take Blaise's spot on the couch. He needed to get out here, but it didn't feel right to leave. Maybe if he could just get outside and get some air. He rushed out the back door, patting his pockets down once he was outside, but he didn't have any cigarettes. Theo would be here soon. He'd have one. Blaise flinched when he felt a hand on his back, but he relaxed when he realized who it was. It had to be Daphne, of course.

He turned and pulled her close, kissing the top of her head, trying to steady his racing heart. "It's not fucking fair," Blaise snapped. "Those two didn't deserve this. Not her, and not even Draco; that fucking arsehole."

"I know, Blaise. I know," Daphne said, tightening her arms around him. The two of them stood there for a long time, wrapped up in each other. After Blaise managed to calm down, they went back inside with their arms around each other's waists. Theo had replaced Weasley on the couch and was whispering something to Hermione as she cried into his chest.

Weasley and his sister were talking in low voices on the side of the room and Blaise briefly wondered where Potter was. As he listened, he realized that's exactly who the Weasleys were whispering about.

"I sent two Patronuses and he hasn't answered," Ginny was telling her brother. "This isn't like him. He knows how important this is."

Weasley shrugged. "He probably got caught up with work. I'm sure he'll come as soon as he can." There was something odd in Weasley's expression and Blaise knew instantly that he was holding something back. These Gryffindors were awful at lying, though Blaise honestly didn't care where the fuck Potter was.

All that mattered now was that Draco was gone, and he'd left all of them alone. He felt Daphne's grip tighten on him and he pulled her closer. Not completely alone, he reminded himself. He then remembered what Daphne had told him a few months ago. _"We're going to need to be strong for her."_ Blaise turned back to where Hermione was still leaning against Theo on the couch. He didn't have any comforting words for her, like Theo, but he could be here. He had promised Draco he would be, and he hoped that would be enough.

* * *

_Present Time: March 2006 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

When Draco regained consciousness he was in his bedroom at Malfoy Manor, laying in the bed while his father, his mother, and Harry stood around him. His mother was shouting at Harry and trying to hand him something, but the rest of her words were incomprehensible to Draco's pounding head.

He closed his eyes and willed himself to focus on the sounds around him until he could make out the words again.

"Potter, give him this potion," his mother said. A few seconds later, Draco felt a potion being forced down his throat and tried not to choke on it.

"Lucius, a cloth, and hold this healing spell here," his mother was saying, then Harry's voice cut in.

"He's waking up. Look," Draco coughed but couldn't make himself open his eyes.

"Who was in charge of the potion?" his father growled.

Draco finally opened his eyes and saw Harry's eyes widen in alarm when he noticed. "Draco and I made the potion together. We made it light so it wouldn't accidentally kill him, but, fuck! I didn't know he'd be in this bad a state."

Draco was in more pain than he'd ever been in his entire life, and that was saying something since he'd been tortured by both the Dark Lord and Bellatrix. He felt as if his heart was on fire and wanted desperately for someone to put it out, but they weren't listening. They were too busy arguing with each other.

His mother's eyes came into his view. When he saw the panic there, he tried not to let it worry him, but he knew what that look meant. It hadn't worked.

"We should have had a healer," his mother was saying to no one in particular. "I thought the wounds would be better tended to, but it seems Lucius used the bare minimum to stop the bleeding, since he assumed Draco was dead. And the time jump, I'm not sure what it did, but it worsened the injuries somehow."

His father placed a hand on her shoulder. "Calm down, Narcissa," he said in a low voice. "You can do this. There's plenty of blood replenishing potion, and we haven't run out of time, yet."

His mother looked unsure, then turned back to work on Draco's torso. He felt the burning return and he cried out in pain. He wasn't going to make it; this was surely what death felt like.

Draco turned to Harry and used all his strength to grab his hand. It was sticky and he guessed one of their hands was covered in blood. Well, it was no question whose blood it was. "Potter...remember...what you...promised," Draco forced out.

He felt Harry squeeze his hand and Draco saw the lamp light shining in his brilliant green eyes. Draco focused on the sharp color of his eyes to keep from passing out. "Remember what _you_ promised, Malfoy," Harry bit back. "You can't die here tonight, okay? We're both going to be killed by Hermione, remember? When she finds out we kept all this from her."

 _Hermione_. Draco tried to summon an image of her face, but his brain was clouded and he was losing consciousness again. _No!_ He needed to remember. He remembered a bath...wet curls...bubbles...what had she said? Something lovely, something perfect. He searched for it in his mind but couldn't find the words. _Focus, Draco._ Then it came to him. _I'll love you until the end of time._ As her voice echoed in his head, the burning in his chest eased slightly.

He needed to stay here, for her. He felt a cold hand on his forehead and his mother was bending over him. He felt her warm breath on his ear, "Relax, Draco," she was whispering. "I'm going to stun you, so I can work on you without you moving. But we _will_ save you. You will meet that son of yours, I promise."

Draco tried to nod but started shaking instead. "Hold him down. I can't have him shaking until Lucius finishes that spell."

He felt strong hands on his arms and guessed it was Harry, then before he could think of anything else, everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh man. What the hell is going on?
> 
> The poem Draco read that he tore out of a poetry book was from Atticus. The bookstore time jump was in Chapter 2 and the other end of Draco's last time jump was in Chapter 1.
> 
> Continued thanks to my beta readers Lancashire Witch and Kimmeh B. They reported that this was the only chapter that really made them cry. Same for me, sorry about that. Come see me on Tumblr (Alexandra-Emerson) for more content related to this story.
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Tue, Jan-19, and finally, all secrets will be revealed. Get excited!


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter 48**

_Life went on without you. Of course, it did. Of course, it does. It was just an ending they tell me. Not the end._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present time: January 2006 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Narcissa Malfoy**

"I have to find that piece," Draco intoned before leaving the room, slamming the door behind him. Once he was gone, Narcissa let out the breath she'd been holding. She'd done as Draco had instructed, but she should have worked out a better lie. She hated lying to her son, but she never thought he'd actually try searching through the Enchanted Forest.

She walked to her vanity, took a seat, and looked at her reflection for a long time. She glanced down at the photo of Draco and herself next to the mirror. Reaching up, she touched her fingers to his chubby face. She sighed heavily and opened the drawer of her vanity. Sitting at the top of the drawer, loosely wrapped in a white monogrammed handkerchief, sat the last shard of the time turner that Draco had asked her to hide.

Tears started flowing down her face as she looked at it, then she closed the drawer carefully and started brushing her hair. "I'm sorry, Draco," she whispered, her thoughts on the present day version of Draco, who'd just stormed out of the room. "But I can't let your father die."

She paused to wipe a few tears from her eyes before adding, "Be patient. I think I can save you both."

* * *

_Present time: October 2004 / Draco's time: March 2006_

* * *

**Narcissa Malfoy**

Narcissa was talking to Allison Harper, the editor of the Daily Prophet's society pages, when she saw Draco waving from the hall. She cocked her head in confusion, when she saw he wasn't wearing dress robes. He knew better than to turn up to an elegant event like this without the proper dress robes.

She focused back on Allison, maneuvering them slightly so that Allison wouldn't see Draco in his current attire. Less than a minute later, a house elf appeared at Narcissa's elbow. She leaned down and hissed, "You know that you are to leave me alone when I am entertaining guests."

The elf started pulling on her ears, looking torn with indecision. It took a moment for Narcissa to recognize the look on the elf's face; it was the one they made when they were trying to balance out conflicting orders. She quickly apologized to Allison before bending down to talk quietly to the elf. "Just tell me what you came to say, then go."

The elf looked instantly relieved, dropping her hands to her side. Leaning in, she muttered as quickly and quietly as possible, "It's master Draco, Mistress. He needs to see you urgently, in the hall." Narcissa straightened, looking back to where Draco had been, but he was gone now.

When Narcissa looked back down to where the elf had been, she had disappeared. Narcissa had to actively stop herself from scowling, because a proper host didn't scowl at her own party. Narcissa sighed before turning back to Allison. She gave a quick, but polite, apology before excusing herself from her guest.

With all of the elegance of a Pureblood Matriarch, Narcissa swept out of the ballroom in search of her son. It didn't take her long to find him. He was pacing nervously in the hall. When he made another turn to pace back up the hall again, he spotted her out of the corner of his eye. The moment she reached him, he practically dragged her into an unused bedroom and slammed the door behind them.

"Mother. Thank you for coming. I need to talk to you, and I don't have much time." His words were rushed as he spoke.

Instantly, Narcissa noticed that Draco looked different than he had earlier that day. His hair was longer, his cheeks were more sunken in, and his eyes looked haunted. The last time she'd checked, he had decided to return home and try to patch things up with Hermione. Had they fought again? Narcissa was actually starting to like the girl, but she wouldn't be able to forgive her if she hurt her son.

"Is this about your fight with Hermione?" Narcissa asked.

"No, it's not. Mother, what I'm about to say is going to sound insane, but look into my eyes and you'll see I'm not lying."

Narcissa nodded and shifted her gaze to his grey eyes, as instructed.

"I'm from the future, March 2006, and my life is in danger. But you can help me, I just need you to do three things."

A cold pit settled in Narcissa's stomach and she stepped back in alarm. The war was over, and Draco was safe. This couldn't be true. "Draco, what is happening? Who is threatening you?"

Draco took a step toward her, grabbing her forearms gently, then started talking in a rush again. "Please, I don't think I have time to explain it all. Just listen."

Narcissa nodded dubiously.

"Okay first, next summer, you need to go to Father's safe and take the shard of glass that's in there. Hide it somewhere in the house. Somewhere Father and I won't find it, but where it will be safe. Second, when I come looking for it, you need to lie about it. You can admit to taking it, but say it's lost. Hidden for good, per my instructions."

None of this made sense to Narcissa, but she nodded along anyway, since it was clearly very important to Draco.

"And finally, when you learn about the circumstances of my death, you must insist on reviewing the memory of that day. It will be one of Father's."

"Memory? How is that possible?" She pulled her arms out of his grasp. She was having difficulty making sense of what he was saying.

"Just trust me. Study the memory until you find the anomaly, then go to Ha-"

Draco's eyes widened in alarm. He suddenly looked down at his chest and swore loudly, "Fuck!"

"Language, Dra-," but before Narcissa could finish her admonition, Draco was gone.

* * *

_Present Time: November 2005 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Narcissa Malfoy**

Although Narcissa had no idea what Draco was talking about that night of the Halloween Ball, she decided to do as he said. The whole time she'd been watching his eyes, as he'd instructed, and it was clear he was telling the truth. It made no sense how he could have been from the future though. Everyone knew all the time turners were destroyed immediately following the war, per the Ministry's order.

Then, one day in November, a year later, Draco and Hermione came to the Manor. During that visit, they explained about Draco's time traveling condition. The whole time they were there discussing the predicament, Narcissa thought of Draco's third instruction. At the time, it had made no sense to her, but now the pieces were clicking into place for her.

" _When you learn about the circumstances of my death, you must insist on reviewing the memory of that day. It will be one of Father's."_

She lost her temper that day. She yelled, which she had never done before, before storming out of the room and away from her family. Why hadn't Draco and Lucius trusted her with this information? None of them had told her that her son was jumping through time. She could almost live with not knowing about Draco's time travel. What she couldn't abide was the fact that her son was apparently going to die, soon if their story were true, and they had hidden it from her.

In the midst of it all, at some point in the future, Draco would time jump two years into the past, and select her for a series of secret tasks, but he hadn't given her any details. Only vague instructions. Since the end of the war, Narcissa loathed being left in the dark, and that's exactly what they had done to her.

Later that night, whilst she lay in bed with her husband, after Narcissa had a chance to cool down, she turned to Lucius, who was reading next to her. "I thought you hated Hermione for her blood all these years, but it was because of this time loop?"

Lucius lowered his book to lay open on the bed and nodded. "I'm so sorry, Cissy. I should have told you, but I was committed to getting Draco to take the extraction potion. I thought I could get away with never having to tell you about your son's death. I never thought that he wouldn't take the potion if it meant saving his own life."

Narcissa placed a comforting hand on his leg. "I understand, Lucius."

When he turned to look at her, she set her jaw and said with as much authority as she could muster, "I need you to show me that memory."

Lucius shook his head and placed his hand on hers. "No, Narcissa. A mother shouldn't have to watch her son die."

"Neither should a father. Now give it to me, Lucius." She picked her wand up from the night stand and conjured a small glass vial, holding it out for him.

Lucius looked at it for a while, as if he were contemplating whether or not to do as she said. Narcissa kept her face blank and her eyes determined while he considered. The thought of watching Draco die made her sick, but she knew this was what she needed to do. Draco had specifically told her to view his father's memory. Eventually, Lucius sighed and reached over to get his own wand. He touched the tip of it to his head, pulling out a strand of silver, and dropped it into the vial.

Narcissa had watched the memory ten times and thrown up twice but hadn't found the anomaly Draco was referring to. All she saw over and over again was the dead look in Draco's eyes and the horrifying results of Lucius' diagnostic spell: _dead._

The next time she went in the pensieve, she focused on Lucius instead of Draco. Maybe, the anomaly had something to do with him. This time, she thought she saw it, but it was gone the next second and she wondered if it was just a trick of the light.

She pulled herself out of the pensieve and when she reentered, she went closer to where she'd seen the flash a few feet from where Lucius was sitting. She saw it again, but she couldn't place it. It took five more times for her to identify what she was seeing, and once she did, she sat in the chair and laughed.

It was the first time she'd felt hope since learning of Draco's death. And now, she finally knew what he'd been trying to say before he'd disappeared that night at the ball.

" _Study the memory until you find the anomaly, then go to Harry Potter."_

* * *

_Present Time: December 2005 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Narcissa Malfoy**

Narcissa was taking her tea in the parlor when Lucius strode in and took the seat opposite her. He had a dangerous look on his face and she put her teacup down and straightened her spine as she waited for him to talk.

"Blood magic is very secure, but also traceable," he started, carefully studying her reaction.

Narcissa sighed. "Just say what you came to say, Dear."

"You said you hadn't touched the safe or the piece of the time turner inside. And yet, you're the most recent person to have opened it."

Narcissa gave him a curt nod.

"Why?" Lucius asked angrily. "Draco's finally ready to take the extraction potion and save himself, and you have taken away the means for him to do so? Surely, after everything you risked for him, you wouldn't sabotage this chance?"

"And lose you?" Narcissa bit back.

Lucius started and his eyes turned soft, then he shook his head. "I'm an old man, Cissy. Draco is our son and he is about to have a baby. How could you-"

"What?" Narcissa cut in. "Give up?"

Lucius rose from his seat and started pacing the room, clearly frustrated. She stood to join him and he stopped when she placed a gentle hand on his arm. "There's another way, Lucius."

"What?" he looked back at her, his eyes angry and disbelieving.

"There's a way to save both of you," she said as she rubbed his cheek with her hand.

Lucius pulled her hand down. "That's impossible."

Narcissa smirked. "Lucius. Surely by now you've learned that the good side always wins."

"We are not on the good side," Lucius said pointedly.

"Draco is."

"So what? We call Harry Potter and have him save the day?" he asked sarcastically.

"Actually, that's exactly what we're going to do. But first, we need to find a time turner."

* * *

_Present Time: January 2006 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Narcissa Malfoy**

"You're the demanding witch who's been causing a stir?" Harry asked as he walked into his office and saw Narcissa sitting in one of the chairs.

"I've been called worse," Narcissa replied in a bored tone.

Harry smiled and lowered himself into the chair behind his desk. "What can I help you with?"

"It's about Draco," Narcissa started, before launching into the explanation of what she needed from Harry to save her son.

When she was finished, Harry removed his glasses and shook his head, sadly. "I'm sorry, Narcissa. I know you're desperate, but all the time turners were destroyed."

"That is simply not true," she said confidently as she reached into her purse and pulled out a tiny vial filled with a silver substance.

"What memory is that?" Harry asked when she placed it on the table.

"This is proof that what I'm saying is true. Do you have a pensieve?"

Harry stood and yelled to someone outside, "Wallace, get me a pensieve."

A few moments later, a young wizard came in with a large pensieve and placed it on Harry's desk before leaving them alone. Narcissa poured the contents of the vial in the bowl and an image of Draco and Lucius sitting in the parlor at Malfoy Manor appeared on the surface. She looked back at Harry and saw him watching her apprehensively.

"This is the day he dies?" he asked in a soft voice.

Narcissa nodded sadly and she felt bile rush into her mouth again. "I'll take us out of the memory before that happens."

"Okay, let's go."

A moment later they were in the parlor and Draco was playing with a time turner while Lucius wrote something in a notebook. The window was creaking and Narcissa knew in a few seconds it was going to burst open. And when it did, that gust of wind would reveal the key to solving all of this.

"Look here," she pointed to a spot several feet away from Lucius. When she saw Harry looking, she started to count down. "Three...two...one…"

An image flashed where Narcissa was pointing once the wind burst into the room. It was a hand gripping a wand against the unmistakable pattern of Auror robes. The next second, the hand and the robes were gone, presumably covered by a cloak of invisibility.

Narcissa pulled them out of the memory and they were returned to their seats in Harry's office. Harry looked down at the wand in his hand and the robes he was wearing, a perfect match to what they'd just seen in the pensieve.

"I was there?" he whispered back at her, questioningly.

She smirked and nodded. "And since you don't have a memory of it, we can only assume it hasn't happened yet. Which means, there is a time turner out there, somewhere, and we need to find it."

* * *

_Present Time: February 2006 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

Draco was sitting at his father's desk and looking back and forth between the two items resting on top, as he tried to make a critical decision. On one side was a black vial which contained another batch of the extraction potion. Then, there was the pensieve still swirling with his father's memory from that day in the parlor.

Harry, his mother, and his father were watching him intently. Draco knew what his mother wanted him to choose. She was convinced her plan would work and she'd be able to save both her son and her husband. His father thought it was too risky and wanted Draco to take the extraction potion. Harry was hard to read, but there was an unmistakable glint of anticipation in his eyes and Draco suspected he was eager for the chance to try to save the day again.

All the evidence pointed toward the fact that Draco had forgone the extraction potion and tried the insane plan, but Draco tried to forget that as he made his decision. He didn't want his knowledge of the future clouding his judgement.

When his mother had first come to him and explained her plan for Harry to travel back to the day at the parlor and fake Draco's death by administering Draught of the Living Death, he'd rejected her. At first, the only part of her story that had stuck out to him was that she'd lied about the last piece of the time turner and still had it in her possession. He told her he wanted to take the potion, just like he and Hermione had decided, and he'd started brewing it himself. But in the week it took to make the potion, he began to change his mind.

Theo's theory was probably correct, and if he took the extraction potion before his last jump, the timeline he ended up in would have his baby in it. But there were no guarantees beyond that. Would he and Hermione be happy? Or would they still be fighting? Would he have figured out how to be friends with Harry? Would Daphne and Blaise be together, and would Theo be in a serious relationship? Draco loved his life now, and if he didn't want anything about it to change, there was only one option.

When he looked up at the group in front of him, they all seemed to be holding their breaths, waiting for him to announce his decision. Draco smiled. "We can't deprive Potter of the chance to save the day." His mother let out a sigh of relief and his father looked disappointed. Draco turned to face Harry.

"What do you say, Potter, up for the challenge?"

"I won't mind you owing me another life debt," he quipped. Then his expression turned serious. "Do we tell Hermione?"

Draco shook his head. "She's been through enough. This whole thing has been a dragon ride of emotions. I don't want to give her hope again, just to take it away. We have no idea if this is going to work, just that we try it."

Draco was also worried that if Hermione knew, she'd demand he take the extraction potion. The potion would certainly save his life, and the Harry Potter plan was a giant risk with hundreds of unknowns. If it worked, and she'd been spending the last few months saying goodbye to him for nothing, she'd be livid. But Draco didn't care. All he wanted was to be alive, in this timeline, to see it.

* * *

_Present Time: March 2006 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

Draco spent a few hours each morning at the Manor with Harry, preparing for his last time jump. Some days they brewed the potions they'd need. Other days, they studied his and his father's memories from that day in the parlor, so they'd know what to expect. They had the most fun on the days they ran and jumped around the lawns, dodging several pairs of bludgers as a way to hone their reflexes, since it was clear from the chaos in the memory that they'd need them to be as sharp as ever.

It was March now and they still hadn't managed to find a time turner. Lucius was using every contact he knew, domestic and abroad, while Harry was working through the Auror Office's list of informants. If they didn't find one soon, all this preparation would have been for nothing.

They all knew a time turner would be found eventually, since it was the only way Harry could have turned up in Lucius's memory, so they kept looking, and were determined to be ready as soon as it was discovered. On the days Harry couldn't make their practice sessions, Draco reviewed the pensieve alone, reliving his favorite memories of Hermione. Their first date, the day he proposed to her, their wedding, their honeymoon, the night they first talked after their huge fight, the day he told her she was pregnant, and the night she told him. And finally, the memory he reviewed more than any other: his first time jump, the one that had started it all for him.

Then one day, while Hermione was visiting Daphne, an owl showed up and Draco instantly recognized Harry's handwriting on the scrap of parchment. The note was short and to the point: _I found one._

Draco wrote a quick note for Hermione, making some excuse about taking care of paperwork with his father, and went straight to the Manor. When he arrived at his father's study, Harry, his mother, and his father were already there, waiting for him.

Harry had his invisibility cloak draped over his arm and his eyes were gleaming with excitement. Draco recalled Harry telling him that he missed the action from his early days as an Auror. Since he'd been promoted to head of the department, he was stuck behind a desk most of the time.

It was too bad, because there was no denying Harry's skill. He was quicker than Draco during their bludger-dodging exercises and every time they practiced disarming dark artifacts, Harry always beat Draco by several seconds. Though Draco was better at potions and had a knack for planning.

Together, they were a pretty good team. Draco just hoped that when it counted, they'd be able to do what was needed: save his father, disarm the dark artifact, and make it out safely. They knew from Lucius's memory that Draco would be injured and had a plan for Harry to treat his injuries as best he could, before administering the Draught of the Living Death. Then, hopefully, once Draco time jumped back to this time, they could wake him up and heal him.

The problem was, there were no reassurances about what would happen to Harry. All they knew was that he was there, but they had no idea if he'd make it out alive. He didn't look scared though, which Draco thought was impressive, since the thought of time jumping into a room with an ominous black hole and countless sharp objects flying around, terrified Draco.

"How did you find it?" Draco asked when he walked into the room.

"It was all Ron. He's been working incredibly long hours lately, following up with every obscure international informant we have files on."

"Weasley?" Draco didn't know Harry had told him about this plan.

"He doesn't know the details of what we're planning. Just that we think there's a possibility to save you and acquiring a time turner is the only way. Honestly, Malfoy, without his help we never would have found this."

"Noted." Draco was touched. He and Weasley didn't fight anymore, but they'd never gotten as close as he and Harry had.

"He wanted me to tell you, he likes racing brooms," Harry added with a smirk.

Draco rolled his eyes. "If this works, I'll buy him the Chudley Cannons."

"Can you afford an entire Quidditch team?"

Draco looked toward his father and they shared a smile. "Yeah," he turned back to Harry. "Can we focus?"

Harry placed the invisibility cloak on the desk and reached into his robes, pulling out an object wrapped in cloth. He carefully placed it on the desk and opened the cloth to reveal a very banged-up looking time turner.

"It's in awful shape," Harry explained, "but it may very well be the last time turner in all of Europe."

Draco bent down to inspect it, careful not to touch it since it looked like it might break at any second. There were cracks on the hourglass and the gears along the side that were used to set the time were loose. "What happens if it breaks during the jump?" Draco asked as he stood up. His father took his place and started poking it carefully with his wand.

Harry shrugged, "You're the time travel expert. My guess is if it breaks, we're stuck."

"This is too dangerous," his father said when he stood up. "Just take the potion, Draco, and give up on this reckless plan."

Draco bit his lip, then shook his head. "Sorry, Father, but I have to try this." He turned to Harry. "I'll test it first, since Ginerva will kill me if I'm the reason you get lost somewhere in the past."

Harry was about to argue, but Draco had already picked up the time turner and was carefully placing it around his neck.

"There are some quirks with this one," Harry explained. "The wizard Ron got it from gave him a list of things to watch out for." Harry reached into a pocket and pulled out a dirty scrap of parchment and began to read. "It only goes to the past, not the future. That part of it is broken."

So much for Draco's plan to have his first jump be one month to the future to see if this whole thing worked. "Okay, then how am I supposed to come back to this time?"

"That's the next thing on the list. The man said it will pull you back when it sees fit and you can't control it. He said it's usually after 10-15 minutes and it feels like the tug of a Portkey."

Draco nodded, trying to fit this new piece of information into their plan. He could do his jump in about 10 minutes, but Harry would need more time. Harry seemed to know what Draco was thinking and shrugged as if to say, _There's nothing to be done about it now._

"And lastly, he said to be careful not to jostle the gears since you could end up getting pulled further back in time, unexpectedly."

Draco scowled at Harry. "How are you going to keep from jostling this during your time jump, when you'll literally be jumping out of the way of things?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know. I'll wing it."

"Fuck, Potter, is this how you beat the Dark Lord?" Draco looked over at his father and they shared exasperated looks.

"Whatever, Malfoy. Are you going to use that? If not, hand it over so I can do my jump."

"No," Draco looked down at the time turner and started turning the date back to two Halloweens ago. After reviewing the details of this jump with his mother, he realized he had misunderstood when she'd originally told him that she had talked to him at the ball. He'd initially thought she was referring to the Halloween Ball before his wedding, the one where he'd been obliviated, which would explain why he didn't remember their interaction. But the real reason he didn't remember the interaction, was because it hadn't happened for him yet.

Narcissa had later clarified that it was the Halloween Ball from the next year. The one that Draco and Hermione had skipped since they'd been fighting. That was the date he set now - October 31, 2004 - then he looked up at his mother. "Any tips?"

She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Just follow your instincts. This is the easy one," she added with a smirk.

Draco nodded and took a deep breath. She was right. This jump would be much easier than Harry's, but he was still nervous, mostly because of the awful state of the time turner. He was doing this for Hermione, he reminded himself, before setting the time turner into motion and blinking out of sight.

* * *

_Present time: October 2004 / Draco's time: March 2006_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

Lucius's study was empty when Draco reappeared and he ran to the ballroom. He found his mother easily, but it took him several moments to figure out how to get her to step away from the ball. He was losing time and had a lot to explain to her in just a few minutes.

He was on his final instruction when something went wrong. "Just trust me," he was saying, "Study the memory until you find the anomaly, then go to Ha-"

His mother had pulled her hands out of Draco's grasp and hit the time turner under his shirt. He felt a tug behind his navel and swore loudly.

His mother started to scold him, but before she could finish, he was gone.

* * *

_Present time: October 2003 / Draco's time: March 2006_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

Draco checked the date with his wand as soon as he reappeared in the bedroom he'd been speaking to his mother in just a few seconds before. _October 31, 2003._

Shite. This time turner was an absolute piece of crap. His mother had barely touched it and it had thrown him back a whole year. They'd have to figure out a way to secure it before Potter's jump.

He walked out of the hall, planning to go to his father's study so that he'd reappear there when the time turner pulled him back to his present, but he heard a familiar voice behind him and swore when he realized what had just happened.

"What the fuck is going on?" It was him, looking a couple years younger and completely in shock.

"Come here," Draco said, annoyed, as he pulled the younger version of himself into an abandoned hall.

"Tell me what the fuck this is," the other Draco demanded. "Was our assumption about how the time jumping works wrong?"

"No, and it doesn't matter-" Draco cut off. How did he not have any memory of this happening? Then all the pieces fell into place. "Oh shite. Well, I guess you can obliviate yourself, after all," he muttered under his breath.

The other Draco looked back at him confused, but before he could respond, Draco pulled out his wand and stunned him. It was easy to obliviate him, since he knew exactly where to draw the boundaries. No wonder the obliviation had been so clean and precise. When he was done, he brought the other Draco back into the hall and propped him up with magic so he was leaning against the wall.

Then, he cast a disillusionment charm on himself before whispering, " _Rennervate."_

The younger Draco's eyes popped open and he pulled himself to standing and looked around him wildly, but Draco was hidden in a shadow and knew he couldn't be seen. The younger Draco shrugged, then straightened his spine and made his way back to the ballroom.

That's when Draco felt the tug behind his navel and he took a deep breath before being carried back to his present.

* * *

_Present time: March 2006 / Draco's time: Same as present_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

"This thing is a piece of shite," Draco said as soon as he walked back into his father's study.

His father, his mother, and Harry were in the same place he'd left them and he wondered how much time had passed for them.

"Language, Draco," his father scolded as Harry asked, "Did it work?"

Draco studied the crack on the hourglass and thought it might look a little longer than it had before he'd left. "Yeah, it worked. But it threw me a year backward when I was in the middle of talking to my mother. That warning about not jostling it was right."

He carefully passed it to Harry, who inspected the gears once he had it in his hands. "What do you think of a sticking charm, paired with wrapping it around my torso with a bandage?"

"Couldn't hurt," Draco responded.

"And a freezing charm on the gears, after you've set the time," his father added, reluctantly. It was clear he hated this plan, but he seemed dedicated to doing anything he could to help them succeed.

Harry nodded and removed a small medical kit from his robes. He took out a bandage before putting the kit away again.

"You don't have to go through with this, Potter," Draco said, imploringly. "We don't know if you're going to make it back."

Harry smirked. "I'm going, Malfoy. I'm a well-trained Auror and the youngest ever head of the department. And I defeated Voldemort when I was just seventeen. I think I can manage a room full of flying glass." His father snorted but Draco knew Harry was just joking and rolled his eyes.

Draco led the way to the parlor and when they all got there, Harry positioned himself in the spot they'd seen him in, in the memory. He'd be close to his father and able to pull him out of the way of danger quickly.

Harry took the cloak of invisibility and draped it around his shoulders, keeping his head visible. Before he put the time turner around his neck, he turned to Draco and his father. "Are you sure you don't want me to alert Lucius to the plan so he can properly heal you and tend to you immediately?"

"No, Potter," Draco cut in before his father could respond. "We've discussed this. If you change anything about this timeline, we'll be throw into an alternate reality."

"But Theo's theory-"

"It doesn't guarantee anything, besides the existence of a baby. We could be in the middle of a divorce, alienated from all our friends, not talking to our parents…" Draco's eyes flashed to his father. "Please, Potter. I know it will be hard for you to hold back, but do as we planned, and don't die."

Harry nodded. His eyes were determined and he looked fierce and intimidating, which was so at odds with the playful smile he usually wore. He placed the time turner around his neck and set the time carefully, then he took the bandage and pulled it behind his back, so he'd be ready to wrap it around the time turner once he was in the other time. He gave Draco a quick smile, "I'll be right back."

He pulled the invisibility cloak over his head and there was a soft "whish" sound when the time turner took him away. Draco and his parents looked at each other, concerned. He could tell both of them were using Occlumency. He tried the same, but he couldn't focus, so he counted his breaths instead.

After a minute, his mother placed a hand on his arm. "Relax, Draco. Trust Potter. He's done impossible things before."

Draco nodded and counted out another minute, then Potter reappeared in front of him. Draco scanned his appearance quickly and he looked unharmed, but he was clearly agitated.

"What happened? Did it work?" Draco asked.

Harry ignored his questions. He was unwrapping the bandage around his torso and pulled out the time turner and started fiddling with it, "I need to go back," he was saying.

"What, why?" Draco asked.

His father reached over and took the chain from around Harry's neck and yanked the time turner out of his hands. "You can't."

"I need to. I need more time."

"You'll just confuse things if you add another version of yourself to the mix," his father argued.

"Tell us what happened, Potter," Draco repeated.

Harry was avoiding his gaze. He took a deep breath and his tone was flat when he finally spoke. "I pulled your father out of the way and neutralized the artifact. You were injured so I administered the healing potion first, then the blood replenishing potion - two doses, like we planned - then the Draught of the Living Death. I left both of you under the desk and was pulled back just as Lucius was starting to stir."

"That's good, right? It matches my father's memory."

When Harry finally looked at Draco, his green eyes were pleading. "Please, Draco. Your injuries are very bad. I can do more for you if I go back. I can follow your father into that spare room, then heal you from the side. Then, when he leaves to meet your mother, I can heal you some more until I'm pulled back to this time. Please, let me go back."

There was something more here that Harry wasn't saying. Draco held his hand out to his father and Lucius reluctantly handed over the time turner. It was smeared with blood, but Draco tried to ignore it. The crack on the hourglass had expanded and now covered the entire width of it. Draco shook his head and gave the time turner back to his father.

"I'm sorry, Potter, you can't risk it. Like my father said, you may just add another version of yourself to the chaos, and I'm not sure this time turner can manage another six-year jump. You don't want to get stuck there."

"Please just let me-"

"You did enough, Harry. It will be enough."

Harry tore out of the room and Draco looked at his parents. They were clearly worried by Harry's reaction but there was nothing more they could do now but wait. Draco picked up the invisibility cloak Harry had left behind and went after him.

It took Draco a moment to find Harry in the courtyard pacing and blasting bushes with his wand. As Draco got closer, he saw he was crying. Shite. What had he seen?

When Harry saw Draco, he stopped blasting the bushes and turned away from him. He braced his hands against a nearby pillar and continued to sob with his head down.

Draco approached slowly and when he reached Harry's side, Harry took a deep breath and asked, "You're not going to hit me with _Sectumsempra_?"

"It crossed my mind," Draco said, leaning against the other side of the pillar so he was facing Harry. He noticed then that Harry's hands were covered in blood. He hitched his breath. That was his blood.

Harry stood up and when he saw the blood on the pillar he looked down and started wiping his bloody palms vigorously on his robes. Then he remembered he was a wizard and he pulled out his wand and used a cleaning spell.

He squeezed the bridge of his nose and before Draco could ask what was wrong, he said, "It was me, you saved." Harry dropped his hand from his face and glared at Draco, "You fucking idiot. You jumped into an oncoming shard of glass to save _me_!"

Harry started crying again and laid his forehead against the pillar. "If I hadn't been there you may have been fine. But I was just trying to help, Draco," his voice cracked. "This is like Sirius all over again."

Draco placed a hand on his arm. "Harry, I wouldn't have managed it without you. We talked about this ahead of time. Disarming that artifact amidst all that chaos is a two-person job."

Harry was about to protest but Draco cut him off. "And you took a great risk going at all, not to mention the hours of preparation you committed."

Harry nodded but Draco could tell he was still beating himself up inside his head. "Tell me, Harry. Did I die?"

Harry shook his head, "No, Draco. You were in very bad shape, but there's still a chance."

They were quiet for a while, both leaning against the pillar, lost in their own thoughts.

Draco had told himself that if he got any indication after Harry's jump that he wasn't going to survive this, he'd go to Hermione and confess everything, then take the extraction potion. But that wasn't an option now.

It was one thing for his father to die that day in the parlor. He was older and seemed to have accepted his death. But if Draco didn't go back now, Harry might die, and he'd only ever been there in the first place to help Draco. He couldn't abandon him like that. There was only one option for him now, and that was to fight for his life in this timeline.

Eventually, Draco asked, "Did you have this much doubt when you saved the day all those other times?"

Harry was quiet for a long time before responding. "Yes. It felt about like this - certain failure, then, it worked out."

"So you're saying everything's going to be okay?" Draco asked, with a hint of a smirk.

"At the risk of being called an idiot," Harry responded.

"Harry. If it doesn't work, promise me you won't use this as an excuse to stop doing stupid, reckless things to save your friends and family. Promise me you'll do anything to keep Hermione and my son safe."

Harry nodded and his eyes were shining with tears again. "I promise. But only if you promise me something."

"Okay."

"Don't die."

Draco let out a dark laugh. "I'm going to try really hard not to. But if I do live, I'm sure I'll just get murdered the next day by Hermione."

"I think we both will," Harry said seriously.

Draco handed over the cloak he was still holding. "Come on, we should go. Don't we have a birthday to celebrate at the Burrow in a few hours?"

"Maybe. I can't keep track anymore."

* * *

_Present Time: January 2000 / Draco's Time: March 2006_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

When Draco left the quiet garden, he reappeared in the middle of chaos. He jumped out of the way of an oncoming piece of debris, then he looked to his left and saw his father pulled away by an invisible force before crashing into the ground and going still. Harry pulled off his invisibility cloak and jumped out of the way of the glass shard he'd saved his father from, before upending the desk and hiding his father safely behind it.

Draco made his way to him and they crouched behind the desk, looking toward the black hole and trying to decide which of the dark artifacts was causing it.

"Hey there, Potter, fancy seeing you here," Draco said, as he took turns popping his head out, before hiding for cover.

"Not really time for jokes," Harry muttered. Then, he pulled his head back into safety and turned to Draco. "Got it. It's a sextant type thing, on the floor, near the other table. I've tried a few shield charms, but they keep getting sucked away, so I'll have to try my best to dodge, like we thought."

"I'll cover you, go."

Harry jumped and twisted until he'd reached the artifact and Draco blasted pieces of glass with his wand before they hit him. Dismantling dark artifacts took immense concentration and Draco had no idea how Harry was managing it in this chaos. But they chose him for this task because he was faster and Draco hoped he could get it done before he was hit by something.

"Potter!" Draco yelled and Harry ducked out of the way of the glass heading for his neck, without breaking the spell on the artifact. There was another piece on his right and Draco lifted his wand to blast it, but his hand was hit by something else that sliced through the middle of his palm.

"Shite!" The glass shard was still heading straight toward Harry and without a second thought, Draco lunged and pushed him out of the way, just as the dismantling spell flashed and the black hole disappeared. All the objects fell, and the room was quiet. Draco looked down and was surprised to see a huge piece of glass protruding from his side. He thought he'd feel something like that, but besides the pain in his hand, he felt completely numb.

"Malfoy! Fucking hell, what did you do?" Harry was crouched at Draco's side now.

"Saved your fucking life…" Draco forced out. "Maybe a 'thank you' would be better than yelling."

Harry let out a string of curses, but Draco couldn't see what he was doing. His vision was turning blurry and he tried to focus on remaining conscious.

"Potions, Potter," he murmured and in a second, he felt a vial on his lips.

"So bossy," Harry said as he tipped the first potion into his mouth. Then he gave Draco two vials of blood replenishing potion.

"I'm going to move you," Harry whispered but Draco didn't have the energy to respond. He'd noticed the taste of blood in his mouth and knew that wasn't a good sign, but he was trying not to panic.

Harry carefully levitated him and when he turned his head, he saw his father under the desk. Harry was poking and prodding him and muttering a number of incantations in a sing-songy voice. Healing charms.

"No time, Potter...last potion."

Harry hesitated, then nodded and removed the stopper with his mouth and poured the final potion down Draco's throat. It didn't work immediately and while they both waited, Draco saw Harry's eyes were scared. Another bad sign, Harry was never scared.

"Tell her…" Draco's vision went black, but he could still feel the cold air on his skin and hear the sound of the wind outside. "I love…" he needed Potter to hear; he needed Hermione to know.

There was a strong hand on his shoulder. "No. You're going to tell her yourself."

Then Draco felt nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh shit. All of the secrets are finally out. We know who did the last obliviating, we know why Narcissa was being weird, we know why Draco was all injured and bloodied in the last chapter, we know why Harry was there… And now we just need to find out if he lives…though I'm sure you all can guess by my repeated reassurances about this story having a happy ending.
> 
> I hope you all liked how this all turned out. Thanks so much to my beta readers, Lancashire Witch and Kimmeh B. Come see me on Tumblr (Alexandra-Emerson) for more content related to this story.
> 
> The next chapter will be posted Thur, Jan-21.


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter 49**

_It was what I wanted for the longest time - to open my eyes and see you there. To stretch out my hand and touch the soft, yielding warmth of your skin. But now I have learned the secret of distance. Now I know being close to you was never about proximity._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present Time: March 2006 / Draco's Time: Same as present_

* * *

**Harry Potter**

Harry was at work when Ginny's Patronus appeared in his office. He was overseeing a critical interrogation that night, which was keeping him at work later than normal. He knew, even before the horse spoke, what its sudden appearance meant. _"Draco made his last jump. Come to the house, quickly."_

Harry pulled Ron out of the interrogation room, sending Dawlish in to take over the questioning.

"What the hell, Harry? I know it was going slowly but I could have-"

"This isn't about the interrogation," Harry cut him off and pulled him into an empty office. "It's Malfoy.

Ron swore, then turned to Harry with a serious look. "What happens now?"

Harry bit his lip, torn between helping Draco, and continuing with the interrogation of the dark wizard they'd been hunting for months. He took a deep breath before turning to Ron. "Get Kingsley. Tell him we have a family emergency and that we need to leave, immediately. The only other Auror I trust to manage this is you, but you need to be with Hermione. Kingsley is qualified, even though he's out of practice. We both know Dawlish can't do this alone, but with Kingsley there as well, they should be able to handle it."

"Okay. Where are you going to be?"

Harry was already leaving the office he had pulled Ron into and heading back to his own office to get his cloak. "I'm going to Malfoy Manor to try and save that git's life." Securing his cloak around his shoulders, Harry made his way to the apparition point at the corner of the floor that was reserved for Aurors to use when they needed to get away quickly.

Ron nodded, then added with a smirk, "Don't fuck it up. He hasn't bought me my racing broom, yet."

Harry smiled back, even though dread was settling in as he thought of the last time he'd seen Draco in the parlor. His injuries had seemed almost incurable then. Draco would end up lying in a bedroom at the Manor, mostly untreated for a few hours, before traveling six years forward through time. Harry had no idea what that would do to his injuries. They may not be able to wake him from the coma he'd been put in to after taking Draught of the Living Death.

He stepped back into the apparition point, then turned on his toe and appeared in Grimmauld Place a few seconds later. He grabbed a handful of Floo powder and threw it into the fire, saying "Drawing Room, Malfoy Manor," before stepping into the green flames.

He found Narcissa and Lucius in the study, looking at their family clock. Harry saw Hermione's hand at the _London House_ position and his heart wrenched as he thought about what she must be going through right then. He wanted to be there for her, but he knew he could help her more by being here; trying to save her husband.

The _Draco Malfoy_ hand was currently at _Malfoy Manor_. "When did he arrive?" Harry asked.

Lucius kept his gaze on the clock as he responded. "The Draco from the past has been in there for fifteen minutes."

Harry nodded. Draco told them that in his first time jump, he'd appeared at the London House with Hermione. After their interaction there, he appparated to his old flat, which was Blaise's current flat. He had only stayed there for less than a minute, before apparating to his old bedroom at Malfoy Manor, staying there for an hour before reappearing in his time. That meant, in forty-five minutes, the injured Draco, who belonged in this time, would reappear in that bedroom; hopefully still alive and able to be revived.

The room was eerily quiet while they waited for the clock to change. All of their eyes were glued to the family clock; each wanting to ensure they didn't miss the moment when Draco would come back to this time. Ginny's Patronus appeared again, but Harry vanished it before it could speak. Harry tried his best not to think about Hermione, or what was going on at the Auror department. He knew he was where he needed to be, but it was hard standing here doing nothing. Harry had always been a person of action.

The clock chimed and Lucius and Narcissa blinked out of sight. Harry watched the _Draco Malfoy_ hand go from _Malfoy Manor_ to _Mortal Peril_ before running out of the room. Draco's bedroom was at the other end of the house, and it was a large house. Harry had asked Lucius to adjust the wards for him, but unfortunately, Malfoy Manor had strict wards and only family members were able to apparate within the house.

At least Lucius and Narcissa were there. While Draco and Harry had been practicing for what they would have to do in the parlor, Narcissa and Lucius had been practicing healing. Now, it was time to see if they'd learned enough.

When Harry arrived in the room, he saw Lucius and Narcissa working quickly and muttering softly to each other. His first thought was that the room was too quiet. His second thought was that Draco was dead. Harry had seen enough dead people in his life to spot a corpse when he saw one.

"Do you know if he's alive?" he whispered as he walked to the other side of Draco's bed, trying to catch his breath.

Narcissa shook her head once and continued casting a healing spell.

"It's safer for us to treat his wounds, as best as we can, while he's still under the influence of the potion," Lucius explained quickly, working on a nasty cut on Draco's hand. "Once he wakes, he may go into shock. That will make it a lot harder for us to heal him."

Harry nodded. He understood their logic, but watching them working frantically to save what looked like a dead body was extremely unnerving.

"This injury is bad," Lucius was saying to Narcissa. "This hand may not work properly for him ever again."

"Do what you can," Narcissa said, her head still down, focused on the larger injury on Draco's side. "I don't think he'll care, as long as I can treat this one. It's just nearly impossible with all my diagnostic spells telling me he's dead."

She cut off and took a deep breath. Harry saw the anguish on her face turn to indifference and wondered if she was using Occlumency. She cast another diagnostic spell. This time a small green string came out the end and traced the pattern of a heartbeat.

"Does that mean what I think it does?" Harry asked.

"That the potion is wearing off too quickly?" Lucius snapped.

Narcissa ignored both of them and handed Harry an orange potion. "Potter, give him this potion."

"He's waking up. Look," Harry said, when he saw Draco cough slightly. He knew Lucius was unhappy about the potion not lasting for longer, but Harry was relieved to see Draco showing signs of life.

Harry soon saw what Lucius had been worried about. The results of the diagnostic spells on Narcissa's wand were erratic and she was struggling to keep up with each critical spot the spell was pointing out to her. As Draco came to life, his body was exiting the suspended state of sleep, making it harder for Narcissa to keep up.

"Who was in charge of the potion?" Lucius growled.

Draco opened his eyes and Harry's eyes widened in alarm when he saw the look of pain there. "Draco and I made the potion together. We made it light so it wouldn't accidentally kill him, but, fuck! I didn't know he'd be in this bad a state."

Narcissa was working hard on her side of Draco. Draco began crying out in pain and Lucius abandoned Draco's hand, moving to apply a healing spell near his heart, but Harry could tell they were losing this battle. Draco grabbed Harry's hand and his grip was concerningly weak.

"Potter...remember...what you...promised," Draco said, in a rough voice that didn't sound like him.

Harry squeezed his hand and stared into his grey eyes, which were coming in and out of focus. "Remember what _you_ promised, Malfoy," Harry bit back, trying to hold back tears. "You can't die here tonight, okay? We're both going to be killed by Hermione, remember? When she finds out we kept all this from her."

Narcissa whispered something to Lucius and he nodded, but kept his attention on the healing spells that he was casting, not wanting to lose his focus. Narcissa bent down and whispered in Draco's ear. "Relax, Draco. I'm going to stun you, so I can work on you without you moving. But we _will_ save you. You will meet that son of yours. I promise."

Draco started shaking and Harry jumped back, unsure what to do. "Hold him down," Narcissa directed. "I can't have him shaking until Lucius finishes that spell."

Harry held Draco's arms and kept him as still as he could. After a few seconds, Narcissa stunned him and he went limp. Harry let go of Draco and turned to Narcissa. "Tell me honestly. Can you save him?"

Lucius finished his spell he had been working on, and looked to his wife, clearly interested in her response.

Narcissa dropped her head. "I don't know. But I'm not giving up yet."

Harry crossed the room to the fireplace and threw a pile of Floo powder in. "I'm getting a healer."

"Potter. You know as soon as you involve a healer you won't be able to keep this a secret," Lucius said. "Your actions from the war don't give you unlimited immunity. You've broken a number of laws in the past few months, and Draco and I are still on probation and could end up in Azkaban."

Harry nodded. Lucius was right. As soon as they involved St. Mungo's, Harry would have to file an official report, but he didn't care. He'd go straight to Kingsley with the truth, once all this was over. He'd be in trouble for mis-using the Auror office's resources, handling an illegal artifact, and maybe even negligence. At the minimum, Harry would be suspended. The worst that would happen, if Kingsley wanted to, was that Harry would probably end up being fired. But to Harry, it would all be worth it; if they could save Draco.

"I'll take responsibility for all of it. I understand the risk," Harry said before walking into the flames, "but we didn't do all this just to have Draco die in the end." He turned back to the flames and yelled "St. Mungo's," before walking in.

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

When Draco awoke again, his mother and father were sitting on one side of his bed. Two witches he didn't recognize were standing on the other side, casting a series of wordless spells and whispering to each other. He assumed they were from St. Mungo's, since they were wearing Healer's robes.

He saw Harry pacing the room, nervously. "Please tell me this isn't the afterlife," he croaked. "I'd hoped it would be nicer than my bedroom at the Manor, and that it wouldn't be so painful. Plus, Potter, that you wouldn't be here."

Harry jumped and rushed to the foot of his bed while his mother and father stood up. His mother was leaning over him, scanning his face. He saw that her blue eyes were red and puffy from crying, but she was smiling. That was a good sign.

"Check him again," his father instructed one of the healers and she looked annoyed at having been ordered around. She performed a number of diagnostic spells and took a few moments to confer with her colleague before announcing, "He'll recover."

Everyone in the room let out a collective sigh of relief. Draco looked to Harry but before he could say anything, Harry smiled widely and nodded, "I'm on it."

He stepped away from the bed and muttered a spell. His stag Patronus burst out of his wand, and he whispered something to it before it galloped out of sight. Harry turned to look over his shoulder and gave Draco one last smile before disappearing into the fireplace.

It worked. Draco hadn't expected it to, honestly, but it had happened just as Harry had said most of his missions did. First, there was the nervous anticipation as they planned. Then, when everything went to shite despite all the plans, there was bold action as they were forced to "wing it" and try to stay alive. At the end, there was the certain failure part, where it seemed like all was lost, and finally… impossibly… success.

* * *

**Hermione Granger-Malfoy**

Hermione lifted her head from the couch when she saw a flash of silver appear in the room. Once she recognized it as Harry's Patronus, she put her head back down. It wasn't like Harry to be gone, especially with something so significant going on, but she'd heard Ron telling Ginny about something important at the Auror Office. She knew Harry would be here, as soon as he could.

"It worked," the stag Patronus said to Ron. That was good, Hermione thought absently, though she didn't know what had worked, and she didn't care. She felt numb. She knew that another wave of grief would hit her soon, but for now, she was enjoying the brief respite from all the crying.

"Okay, Hermione. Are you ready?" Astoria asked from the chair on her left. Hermione nodded, and she saw Theo roll his eyes. Astoria and Daphne had come up with a stupid game, where they each made a bubble animal, and Hermione had to vote on the best one. So far, Astoria was winning, by a lot.

Theo thought it was incredibly stupid, and insensitive, but Hermione was glad for the distraction. "What animal is it going to be this time?"

"Well, if we do a good job, you should be able to guess," Daphne pointed out.

"Okay, so not like the unicorn round?" Astoria teased.

"It did have a horn. It was just small!" Daphne snapped back.

Hermione saw Theo opening his mouth to speak, probably to scold them about bickering over something so stupid at a time like this. Though before he could say anything, Harry stepped out of the flames.

"Harry!" Ginny shrieked as soon as she saw him and Hermione soon saw why. He was covered in blood.

"I thought it worked!" Ron snapped as Ginny started checking Harry for injuries.

"It did," Harry said to Ron. He placed a hand on Ginny's shoulder and said in a low voice, "I'm fine. I promise. It's not my blood."

"Whose blood is it?" Ginny hissed.

Instead of responding, Harry looked over at Hermione, who was sitting on the couch, watching the odd interchange. His eyes were bright with excitement, which she thought was the absolute wrong emotion for the moment. She stood up and was about to tell him off when he said, "I have a surprise for you."

"Draco just died, Harry." Hermione bit back at him. "So, unless your surprise is that he's magically alive, I don't want to hear it."

She turned back to the couch, but he caught her arm and pulled her to the fireplace. "Wow, you're a very good guesser," he muttered, his tone still light.

"What?" she hissed.

"What the fuck are you talking about, Potter?" Theo snapped from the couch.

Hermione didn't stay to hear Harry's response. She summoned her wand with a burst of wandless magic and, as soon as it was in her hand, she turned on her toe and disapparated.

She reappeared in Lucius's study and ran to the family clock. Draco's hand was still on it, right next to hers at _Malfoy Manor_. How was this possible?

"Draco!" She shouted as she ran through the halls. "Draco!" When she reached the ballroom, she stopped for a breath and tried to focus. Where would he be? She tried to remember the details from that last jump. What had he said? He'd come to her, then Blaise's flat, then his bedroom at the Manor.

She switched directions and a few moments later burst into his bedroom. It was filled with people, but she only had eyes for the wizard lying in the bed. He looked awful, like he'd been hit by a train. His cheeks were sunken in, he was paler than she'd ever seen him, and he was wrapped in bandages, but his eyes were open and he was smiling. Draco was alive.

As Hermione slowly approached the bed, their friends started to appear from the fireplace. Harry first, followed closely by Ron, then the others. Their reactions varied from excessive swearing to crying, but Hermione barely heard it. Her mind had gone completely quiet. She felt like she was floating as she walked across the room. Surely this was a dream. There was no way this was real.

Draco was dead, and her mind had invented this fantasy to help her cope with that unbearable loss. He wasn't sitting up on the bed in front of her, smiling in that way that even now, years later, took her breath away. He wasn't going open his mouth and say the exact thing she needed to hear, since he always seemed to know what she needed, even before she did. He'd only exist in her memory from here on out. And once a year, she'd get to talk to his portrait and revisit their happiest moments in the pensieve.

When she finally reached Draco - _No,_ she corrected in her mind. _Not Draco - just a hallucination I've invented in my grief._ She stopped, hesitating before reaching out to touch him. She knew as soon as she realized this was all fake, it would feel like she'd lost him all over again.

But before she could touch him, Draco reached out with the hand that wasn't bandaged and softly stroked her leg. She could feel it. That meant this was real, right? She picked up his hand with both of hers and kissed it. It felt solid and warm in her hands.

Tears started to stream down her face. He was really here, sitting in front of her. She had no idea how it was possible, but it was real. He wasn't gone. He would meet his baby, and bounce it around as he swore to it and told it stupid stories. He would pack a quill in her bag every week, and make sure her tea canister was always filled. He'd scratch the part of her back she couldn't reach, read Muggle books with her, listen to her go on and on about whatever new piece of legislation she was working on, and have one-way conversations with Crookshanks.

He'd kiss her, and tuck her in at night, and tell her he loved her and that she was stunning, and perfect, and his. Draco Malfoy, her husband, her soulmate, her whole life, was here, and she wouldn't have to go through the rest of her life alone.

"Is this real?" Hermione whispered, her voice cracking slightly. He nodded slowly, his eyes filled with that look of tender admiration he always reserved for her alone.

That's when she knew he was really here. Her imagination could never draw up an image of him that was this perfect.

"How?" she asked, her mind not wanting to function at its normal frequency.

Draco cocked his head toward Harry, who had appeared at his other side, but he kept his eyes focused on Hermione.

"Ask him." His voice sounded rough as he spoke. _At least he's speaking,_ Hermione thought.

After asking the healers to leave the group alone, Harry, Narcissa, and Lucius proceeded to explain the entire elaborate plan. When they were finished, Hermione scowled at Draco. "How dare you keep me out of this! You and Harry were right to assume I'd kill you. As soon as you've recovered from these injuries, I'm going to hit you with the most painful hex I can think of."

"We didn't know if it would work, Hermione," Draco's voice was weak when he spoke, and Hermione's heart dropped. "We just knew we'd tried it. I didn't want to give you false hope."

"Bullshit."

Draco set his jaw but stayed quiet.

"We both know that's not the reason," Hermione continued.

She heard Daphne whisper to someone, "What _was_ the reason?" but she kept her gaze leveled on Draco.

"You didn't tell me because you thought I'd make you take the extraction potion."

Draco looked contrite before he dropped his head and nodded. Hermione placed her hand on his cheek and lifted his face so he was looking at her. "We have to stop making decisions without each other, even if we're doing it for the right reasons. I would have supported you, and, well…" she paused to smile, "You chose right, didn't you?"

Draco smiled, weakly, and she bent to kiss his cheek. He turned his head so her lips met his and kissed her with more vigor than was probably prudent, given his current condition. Hermione heard some of their friends groan behind them but ignored them, not stopping until Draco winced when she raised her hand to his shoulder.

"Sorry," she leaned back, and he reached out for her arm with his good hand.

"Don't go," he said sternly.

"I'm not leaving this spot until you're completely healed. Which reminds me," she looked over at Narcissa, who had been the one to dismiss the healers. "Can you invite the healers back in? I want to talk to them."

Hermione had the healers explain all of Draco's injuries in excruciating detail, while each of their friends went to welcome him back to the world of the living. When the healers got to the part about his recovery, she turned back to Draco. "Listen, they're going to explain your recovery plan."

"I don't need to listen. We both know you're going to memorize it," he replied and she hit him. "Fuck, Hermione! I'm injured, remember? The healers just explained it all."

"Sorry," she murmured, "it's just habit."

"Right," the head healer cut in. "So, Mister Malfoy sustained heavy injuries, the worst of which was the tear in his heart. It will heal, but he'll need to take a strict regimen of daily potions to aid in the cell repair."

"Done," Hermione said quickly.

"And your husband needs to refrain from any activity that would raise his heart rate for a sustained period of time. At least until the heart is fully healed."

"How long do you expect that to take?" Hermione asked.

"Three or four months," the older witch replied.

"Does that include shagging?" Draco asked.

Hermione wanted to hit him again but managed to refrain. She saw Ron roll his eyes and shot him an exasperated look. "Draco," she hissed, "your parents are right behind me."

"We know you have sex, Dear," Lucius drawled, "You're pregnant, after all."

Hermione blushed profusely. Draco started to laugh, but winced in pain at the movement, and she thought that served him right.

"You don't have to answer that," Hermione said to the healer. "Is there anything else?"

The healer shook her head. Hermione thanked each of the healers profusely before dismissing them again.

When they were gone, Hermione turned to Narcissa. "You heard her. She said without your quick healing and clever spell work, he wouldn't have made it."

"He nearly died today," Lucius said sternly. "We were incredibly lucky, but I stand by my earlier position. You should have taken the extraction potion from the start, Draco."

Draco shrugged, looking slightly embarrassed at being scolded by his father in front of all his friends. "Well, I'll take it now."

"I assumed as much," Lucius said with a smirk, "and I already did the honors."

"That's it?" Ginny asked. "The ferret lives and the time jumping will stop? So, I bawled my eyes out the past few months for nothing?"

"You cried for me, Ginerva?" Draco asked. "I'm touched."

"I only cried at the thought of the lifetime of insults I'd miss out on delivering," she snapped back.

"As soon as you're better, Draco, I'm going to kill you," Theo cut in. Blaise and Daphne nodded in agreement and Hermione thought to herself that he'd have to get in line, but there wasn't much feeling behind sentiment. She knew, logically, she should be livid with Draco for keeping this from her, but she was just so relieved he was still alive, she couldn't make herself feel angry. She figured it would come later.

"That was a fucking dragon ride of emotions," Theo added.

"Hungarian Horntail or Norwegian Ridgeback?" Ron muttered to Harry and Hermione couldn't help but grin at the lame joke. The rest of their friends just looked confused.

"Yeah," Blaise said, then he sneered at Harry, "but we should have guessed Harry Potter would save the day."

Hermione saw Draco and Harry share an odd look, before Harry pulled Ginny into his side and kissed the top of her head.

"Okay. This is a lovely reunion and everything, but all of you need to leave now," Hermione announced. There was a collective moan. "You heard the healers. Draco needs rest and this is too much excitement. We'll continue the celebration later. Get out."

Once they were all gone, she summoned a chair. Sitting down, she picked Draco's good hand back up as she stared at him, drinking him in. He was here. He wasn't gone, and he would be here for a long time.

"Hey," he said with a soft smile.

"Hey."

"Please don't kill me when I finally recover from all this."

She smiled, "I'll think about it."

* * *

_Present Time: June 2006_

* * *

**Draco Malfoy**

"The secret's out," Draco said as he walked back into Hermione's hospital room. He paused near the door and watched her smiling down at their baby. He would never grow tired of this sight.

"Who found out first?" she asked, keeping her gaze on their sleeping son.

"The nosiest one, of course." Draco returned to his spot next to her on the bed, before leaning in to kiss her cheek. He leaned down to kiss their tiny, blond baby on his forehead next, smiling when he wrinkled his tiny nose. Everything their baby did was incredibly cute.

"Your boyfriend," Hermione said, and Draco rolled his eyes. He was growing tired of this joke.

Harry had been suspended from his job for six months, once he finally admitted everything to Kingsley. More than that, when he did return to work, he would be reinstated as an Auror, and not the head of the department. That job had gone to Weasley.

Draco had felt awful and apologized to Harry a hundred times. Harry waved him off every time and reassured him he didn't mind the demotion. He preferred field work, and had found that being the best Auror didn't necessarily make him the best head of the department. Apparently, Weasley was well suited for the position. He was good at keeping morale high and didn't mind all the meetings and the paperwork the job required. Unlike Harry, who despised that part of the role.

Since Harry wasn't working, Ginny took the opportunity to start a new job at the Daily Prophet as a Quidditch reporter. Hermione had also gone back to work the minute Draco was well enough to walk around and fetch things on his own. She was eager to get as many new laws drafted as she could before she'd have to take maternity leave. She forbade Draco from returning to work until he completely healed, so Harry and Draco had bonded over their shared boredom.

Draco went to Grimmauld Place every day after breakfast and played with Harry and the kids. When the boys were napping, the two would entertain themselves. They would spend their time watching crime shows on the telly, playing chess (which Harry was awful at), gobstones (which they both were awful at), or, if Draco was feeling daring, exploding snap. Hermione disapproved of the last, since she said it raised Draco's heart rate too high.

She'd made a magical version of what she said Muggles called a heart rate monitor, which alerted her anytime Draco's heart rate spiked. It was annoying as hell for him. If he didn't have to wear that stupid thing, he'd probably fly everyday with Harry. Draco had obeyed, because when he did, she let him take it off once a week for very slow sex.

Draco hated the restriction. But he figured it was better than the alternatives; being dead, or worse, not getting to shag at all. In another month, his heart should be completely healed, then he'd burn the blasted heart rate monitor. He had decided he'd spend a whole day flying and shagging Hermione once the heart monitor was destroyed. Hermione was, currently, unaware of his celebration plans.

The Draco and Harry boyfriend joke had started when Ginny snapped a photo of them with Teddy, James, and Albus at the Muggle zoo. She had made copies for all their friends. A unanimous agreement amongst the group of friends, which was a rarity, came about from the picture. It was decided that the new "boyfriends" made a cuter couple than Bennett and Theo.

Draco didn't mind the gay joke that much. What was most annoying about this newfound closeness with Harry, was Daphne and Weasley's reactions.

Daphne pulled Draco aside one day. She informed him that she didn't mind that he'd replaced her as a best friend with Harry, because she had replaced Draco with Bennett. According to her, he was what a proper gay wizard should be, unlike Theo. He enjoyed fashion magazines, soap operas, and the society pages. She also said that he was an excellent shopping partner.

Weasley also felt the need to comment on Draco and Harry's friendship. He had told Draco that he could have Harry on loan as a best friend during Harry's suspension, but warned Draco that as soon as Harry returned to work, Weasley would be taking him back. He said they'd be together all day, bonding over their shared love of their jobs, and there would be nothing Draco could do about it.

Draco didn't understand everyone's obsession with who was whose best friend. His best friend was Hermione, no question. If he had to pick a second person, it would be Astoria. She was the least bothersome of the bunch, in his opinion.

When Hermione had gone into labor, they had made a plan. They wanted to keep it to themselves, so they could enjoy the quiet time together with their new son for as long as possible. It had lasted less than 24 hours. Harry had shown up at their house and noticed they were both gone. Instead of leaving a note or sending a Patronus, like a normal person would do, he'd gone to St. Mungo's and nosed around until he found their room.

"Is he in the hall now?" Hermione's question cut into Draco's thoughts.

"Yeah." Draco sighed.

"Go ahead and let him in. We should also probably tell the others."

Draco sighed again and went to open the door. He didn't want to share Hermione and his son just yet. He wanted to stay in a peaceful bubble with his family for the time being, but he knew that wasn't going to happen. Too many people wanted to greet the newest Malfoy addition. Plus, he knew they'd have plenty of time with just the three of them later, and a part of him did want to show off the perfect baby he and Hermione had made.

"Potter. Come in."

Hermione handed the baby over to Harry, then sent out a string of Patronuses. Draco needed to learn that spell. He thought it would be easy to learn, now. He had the perfect happy memory to use.

Draco looked over at Harry and smiled to himself when he saw Harry admiring his son. "He resembles you," Harry said, looking up at Draco. "Poor bloke," he added with a smirk.

Draco smiled. "His eyes are dark though, so those might end up matching Hermione's. We'll have to wait and see."

Harry looked back down at the baby. "What's his name?"

"Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy," Draco said with a smirk while Hermione said at the same time, "We don't know yet."

Harry raised his eyebrows.

"You know about our agreement that Draco could name the baby if it was a boy, and I could name it if it was a girl," Hermione said. "But I made that promise when I thought Draco was dying."

"So, if I had died, you would have gone back on your word? Ignored a dying man's wish?" Draco asked, affronted.

"Shut up. You would have done the same."

"What she's not telling you, Potter, is I gave her another option. If she'll agree to let a house elf live with us, just while Scorpius here is a newborn, then I'll pick a different name."

Harry shook his head and looked back at the baby. "Well, I think we know how that's going to turn out, little Scorpius."

"That's not his name," Hermione grumbled.

"Choose the house elf, and it won't be," Draco retorted.

"Choose a better name," she snapped back.

Their friends started arriving and the argument was cut short.

Once they were all crammed into the room, they took turns passing Scorpius around, while Daphne produced a bottle of Champagne. She poured the majority of the group a glass, and handed Ginny and Hermione water, since they were nursing.

"We should play the game. I've never," Daphne announced.

"Fine, but just one round," Draco replied as he settled back next to Hermione and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Then all of you need to leave us alone."

"How do you play?" Parvati asked.

"It's easy. You just say something you've never done, and whoever has done it, has to drink. So for me, I'll say...I've never had a kid. Now, all of you parents drink."

Ron, Parvati, Harry, Ginny, Draco, and Hermione took a drink. Draco saw Blaise whisper something to Daphne and she blushed and Draco smirked. Maybe kids weren't far off for those two. That was a terrifying thought.

Blaise lifted his glass and looked at Hermione when he said, "I've never read a Muggle book."

Everyone except Ginny and Parvati took a drink. Ginny was purposefully avoiding Hermione's gaze. "You said you read it!" Hermione cried.

Ginny winced. "I had Harry give me the synopsis. I'm a busy person!"

"Even Ron has read a Muggle book," Hermione replied.

"Hey!" Ron cut in. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"That's just because Ron wanted to sleep with you," Ginny pointed out.

"Let's stop this conversation," Draco interrupted.

Ginny smirked at Draco, then Daphne spoke up. "I'd like to point out, Hermione, that Ginny here may be your best friend and all, but she can't even be bothered to read the dumb books you give her. _I've_ read every book you've given me. _"_

"Noted, Daphne," Hermione said in an exasperated tone. "Okay, who's next?"

"Me," Astoria said. "I didn't hear about Draco's time travel until it was all over."

Everyone besides Bennett and Parvati drank, then Parvati asked. "Is it all over? Confirmed?"

Draco shrugged. "I haven't time jumped since that last one in March. So, I think I'm cured." He bent over and gave Hermione a kiss on the cheek.

"Well, I can't believe you didn't tell me when we were dating, Draco," Astoria said. "You were married to someone else!"

"Only in the future," Draco said defensively. "And I told you, it was complicated."

"He didn't tell me until that last year," Daphne said to Astoria. "Draco's just awful at confiding in people."

"Let's go to the next person," Draco said, ready to move past this topic. "Parvati?"

"Okay. I've never played this game." Everyone else took a drink.

"Good one," Ron said, but Theo was less impressed.

"You can only use that once," Theo grumbled.

"I know," Parvati smirked back at him.

Ron wrapped his arm around her. "My turn. I've never been to Nott Manor."

Everyone in the group besides Ron and Parvati drank. Blaise leaned over to mutter to Daphne, "I cannot believe the Weasleys are winning this."

"I'm next," Theo said menacingly, "and I could get you back by saying I've never been to your Burrow. But I'll get more people with: I've never been straight."

"You use that every time," Daphne complained, as everyone besides Bennett groaned and took a drink.

"My turn!" Bennett said cheerfully. "I've never lived with a significant other."

Everyone besides Theo drank, then Blaise argued, "You're always at Nott Manor when I'm there. Maybe you don't 'officially' live there, but it's pretty close."

"I heard it's going to become official next week," Hermione said with a smile. "So, Bennett can't use this one the next time we play."

"Is that true?" Astoria asked Theo.

Theo gave her a shy nod. Bennett wrapped his arm around Theo and said proudly, "It is."

There was a round of congratulations and Theo looked very embarrassed by all the attention, but also happy. Draco was proud of his friend; he'd certainly come a long way.

"And to think," Harry said, "Bennett only started dating him to get my autograph. You're welcome, Nott." Harry added with a grin.

"Fuck you, Potter!" Theo bit back.

"There's a baby in the room," Ginny, who was currently holding Scorpius, scolded.

"That baby is going to hear a lot worse with Draco as a father," Theo replied.

"Okay, I'm next," Harry said. "I didn't think Malfoy would die." Draco took a drink and saw that everyone else besides Ron did so too.

"That's cheating," Hermione said as she took a drink of her water. "You didn't tell all off us about the secret plan to fake his death." She gave Draco a deadly glare and Draco scowled at Harry.

Draco and Hermione had had a lot of fights about how wrong it had been for Draco to keep the whole plan from her. After a lot of talks under the stars, they'd agreed that they both made mistakes during the time loop and that it was probably best to leave it all behind them and start fresh, but here Harry was reminding Hermione of everything again.

Harry just smiled and shrugged in return. Then he turned to Ginny and took Scorpius out of her arms. "Your turn." Draco glanced over at Hermione and saw her previous anger was gone. She was looking adoringly at Scorpius now.

"I've never traveled through time," Ginny said simply, looking at Harry.

Harry shifted Scorpius to one arm so he could take a drink and Draco took one too. But everyone was surprised to see Hermione take a sip of her water. "Wait, what?" Daphne asked. "What's the story here?"

"It's a good one," Ron cut in.

"It is," Draco affirmed, "but not now. We're almost finished with this round, and I want all you to leave us alone."

"So grumpy," Daphne mumbled, and Draco flipped her off.

"I'll go," Draco said then. "I never thought I'd get away with naming this kid Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy," he smirked at Hermione.

"None of us did, mate," Blaise said, "So you've lost this round."

Draco shrugged and proudly took a sip of his Champagne.

"Wait. That's not a joke?" Ron asked, looking at Hermione.

Hermione sighed heavily. "Draco and I had a deal that he could name the baby if it was a boy, and I could name the baby if it was a girl. And Draco chose-" she cut off and winced before saying, "-Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy. I had thought once he found out how much I disliked the name, he'd pick another one-"

"But you thought wrong," Draco finished for her, placing a kiss on her cheek. "However, I did offer to change the name, under one condition," he added.

"What?" Ginny asked.

"Tell them, Hermione," Draco said.

Hermione huffed, then grumbled, "If I let him get a house elf for a few months."

Everyone laughed. Harry looked down at the baby he was still holding. "So, I think we all know what name they're going to end up with."

"I like it," Astoria chimed in.

Hermione rolled her eyes and Draco clipped her cheek playfully. "You can name the next one, Hermione. Regardless of whether it's a boy or girl."

"You're so generous, Draco," she bit back.

If Draco thought Hermione really hated the name, he would have changed it for her, but he knew she didn't dislike it as much as she was saying. Harry told him she'd admitted to Ginny a few weeks ago that after months of hearing Draco use the name, it was growing on her. She actually liked the thought of her son having such a unique name, since the path to getting him was quite remarkable.

"Go on, Hermione. Finish this up so we can kick these idiots out." He motioned for Harry to pass Scorpius back to him. Harry reluctantly handed the baby to Draco.

She turned to Draco and smiled, the previous annoyance gone from her gaze. "I never saw you coming."

"Another dud of a round," Theo said. "None of us saw you two getting together."

"Yes. The Malfoys clearly lost the game, today," Blaise said.

"I disagree," Hermione said as she took a sip of her water, then bent over to give Draco a soft kiss.

"Can you all leave so I can snog my wife, now?" Draco said, not looking away from Hermione.

"I feel the need to point out that there is a baby in the room," Parvati said.

Draco shrugged, "He's going to have to get used to seeing this soon enough."

Everyone took turns coming to say goodbye to Draco, Hermione, and Scorpius. Once they were all gone, Hermione took Scorpius and propped him up on her legs. Draco scooted closer to her in the bed and pulled her against his side.

"I love you," Draco whispered in her ear. He stroked Scorpius's cheek with his fingers and added, "and you."

Hermione laid her head on Draco's shoulder. "I can't believe you almost weren't here."

Draco rested his head against hers. "Do you miss it? The excitement of the time jumps? New Dracos all the time?" he asked teasingly.

She snorted. "Absolutely not. But I don't regret it. It was all worth it to get to where we are now."

Draco turned and kissed her temple. "What was your favorite time jump?" he asked.

She considered for a long time before answering. "The bookstore. You?"

He tightened his grip on her. "My answer is similar to yours. The first one. Even though you were crying, and you thought I was dead. It was the one that started it all for me."

"Our story is so strange," Hermione said. "We had two different beginnings, but the same ending."

"Does that make this the ending?" Draco asked.

"No. Just another beginning," she said, running her fingers through Scorpius's blond hair.

"Sappy."

"You love it," she said with a smirk.

* * *

**Hermione Granger-Malfoy**

Hermione was supposed to be napping. She had a two hour stretch before Scorpius needed to be fed again, but she was finding it hard to sleep. She padded down the stairs to get a glass of water from the kitchen, when she heard Draco's voice coming from the sitting room.

She peeked in and saw he was sitting on the couch with his legs propped up on the coffee table. Scorpius was laying on his legs looking up at him.

"It's a crazy story with two beginnings and one ending. I was reminded a few weeks ago, that the ending is just another beginning. We'll just call it an ending for now, since every good story needs one," Draco was saying.

Hermione laid her head against the wall and listened to Draco begin to tell their story.

"I remember thinking she looked older, but then I thought maybe I just hadn't properly looked at her before, which was also true. I was an idiot, and if I had taken the time to really look at her, I would have seen not only the most beautiful witch in the world, but my soulmate."

Draco's voice was soft and tender as he spoke to Scorpius. Hermione could stand here and listen to his voice for ages, even if he was talking about nothing, which wasn't the case at the moment. She closed her eyes and savored it, remembering that this was the dream she'd had for their life last year - Draco holding their beautiful baby and telling him stories.

"There's something else that you should know about your mum," Draco said in a louder voice. "Hopefully, it's not a quality you inherit. She is the least discrete person I know. She's terrible at whispering and tip-toeing around. Right now, she thinks she's being sneaky, but she's in the hall, breathing loudly."

"I was not breathing loudly," Hermione grumbled as she walked into the room and took a seat on the couch next to Draco. "You just have insanely good hearing."

"You're supposed to be sleeping."

"I know, but I heard your story and couldn't resist. I realized I've never heard it told in the order you experienced it."

She snuggled against Draco's side and laid her head on his chest.

"Are you sure you don't want to sleep?" he repeated. "You know what happens."

Hermione smiled at Scorpius, then bent her head up and kissed Draco on the jaw before laying back down. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is the end of the main story, since the next chapter is an epilogue. Oh man, that was epic. I hope you all liked it. I can't believe it's going to be over...no...I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life after this. This literally took up every minute of my free time. Anyway, thank you all for reading this ridiculously long story and supporting me along the way!
> 
> Thanks as always to my beta readers Lancashire Witch and Kimmeh B! And please come see me over on Tumblr (Alexandra-Emerson).
> 
> The last chapter (boo...) will be posted Sat, Jan-23.


	50. Epilogue

**Chapter 50 - Epilogue**

_There are some people who you look at, and you can just tell how their story will end. I don't know what it is; they have everything going for them, yet it will never be enough. But when I look at you, I just know instinctively, that despite the odds against you and although life will always find a way to test you, someday you'll have everything you want. Your ending will be a happy one._

_-Lang Leav_

* * *

_Present time: September 2017_

* * *

** Hermione Granger-Malfoy **

"What Fritzgerald is _trying_ to say is-"

"No," Blaise interrupted Hermione. "First off, it's _Fitz-_ gerald. You need to tell Draco to stop calling him Fritzgerald, because he'd got all of us doing it now and we can't have a slip-up like that during the debate."

"Right, oops. _Fitz-_ gerald, _Fitz-_ gerald, _Fitz-_ gerald. Got it."

"Next, call him _Mister_ Fitzgerald, it's more respectful."

"He's not respectful to me," Hermione bit back.

"I know, but you need to take the high road. That's your brand and your supporters love that about you. And finally, you can't say things like 'what he's trying to say,' it's too condescending."

Hermione sighed and sat back down in her desk chair. "I hate this."

"I know," Blaise said. "And I also know that nobody watches the deputy Minister for Magic debates. But this will be good practice for when you run for the big position in a few years."

Just then, someone knocked on her door and Hermione looked at the clock on her desk and swore. "Is that really the time?" she cried, pointing toward the clock. "You were supposed to tell me when it was half-past, I'm going to be late for Scorpius!"

"I'm not a bloody clock," Blaise grumbled. "You should have set a wand timer."

Hermione already had her outer robes on and was opening the door. Theo was on the other side. "You ready? We're going to be late."

"I know. Come on!" Hermione ran to the lift and felt Blaise and Theo following behind her. They didn't have to run because they had long legs, and they also didn't have heels to contend with. Sometimes, she wished being the deputy Minister for Magic didn't require her to pay such close attention to her appearance.

She loved the work itself: helping Kingsley make influential decisions about new laws and run all the departments at the Ministry as efficiently and effectively as possible. But being so close to the figurehead of the British Wizarding World was a part of the job she could do without. Unfortunately, it was a requirement, so she had to dress the part and attend more social events than she'd care to, so that during the day, she could do the work she really liked.

Hermione turned to Theo when they were in the lift. "Have you made a decision yet?"

"No," he grumbled, "and stop pestering me about it."

"I know you're nervous about being a father, but you'll be great at it. And if Blaise can do it, so can you."

"I'm right here," Blaise sneered.

"I know. I can see you," she retorted.

"Do you and Bennett have some sort of deal that you'll bother me at least three times a day about this until I give in?"

"Perhaps. Or maybe, I just want to see what a surly little Nott toddler would look like. With the outfits Bennett and Daphne would put on him and that cute pout," she pinched Theo's cheek and he scowled as he pushed her off of him.

Theo's mother had ramped up her pursuit of a pureblood Nott heir in the past year. She'd found an impressive line-up of pureblood witches who would be willing to be a surrogate mother for Theo's child. For the right price, of course.

Theo had told her to sod off, but Bennett had been on board. He pointed out that he'd always wanted a kid and this solution would solve the problem of the Nott estate not having a clear heir, after Theo. But Theo wouldn't budge and he'd admitted to Draco that it was because he thought he'd be an awful father. Hermione knew it was just a matter of time before they convinced him otherwise.

When the lift opened for the main level, Blaise stayed inside. "You're not coming?" Hermione asked.

"I have another meeting, and Daphne has an interview at that posh primary school she's been trying to get Lidia into for months. Tell Scorpius good luck from us."

He called out to Theo before the lift doors closed again. "For the record, I'm with Hermione on this. I think you'd like a kid, and you'd be good at it."

Theo swore. "I don't like you giving compliments. It makes me think you're under Polyjuice or something."

Hermione pulled Theo along by the arm. "Yes, this is all very sweet, but Theo and I need to go."

* * *

** Scorpius Malfoy **

Scorpius was standing with his father and sister on platform 9 3/4, waiting for his mum and the Potters to show up. Scorpius' head was whipping around, trying to take in all the activity around him. If this was what Hogwarts was going to be like, he had no idea how he was meant to keep up.

His father turned to him. "Okay. We've got your trunk, we've got your annoying cat, and we've got you. Now, we just need your mum and you'll be set."

"And Albus," Scorpius added, and his father rolled his eyes.

"Of course, can't forget Albus." His father acted like he didn't like Albus, just like he acted like he didn't like Uncle Harry. But Scorpius knew it was just a joke. Everyone knew his father and Uncle Harry were best friends, just like Scorpius and Albus were.

Scorpius clutched Tornado, his new grey cat, closer to him. His father had encouraged him to get an owl, but Scorpius had pointed out that he wouldn't need an owl, since Albus had one and he could just use his. Scorpius liked cats and remembered his parents had one when he was young. It had died when he was five and his father wouldn't let his mum get another one. She'd been thrilled when Scorpius had chosen to get a cat and had helped him pick out the smartest one at the pet store.

"What if she doesn't get here on time?" Scorpius asked, looking nervously toward the entrance to the platform.

"She'll be here. I told Theo to make sure of it."

His father crouched down next to Scorpius and put his hands on his arms. "Okay, I can't believe this day is here," his father said. "When you were a baby, I couldn't wait for this moment, because you were very annoying. But now, well, I kind of like having you around now. I'm going to miss you."

Scorpius smiled. His father was rarely sentimental like this.

"Am I allowed to hug you, or are you too cool for that, now?"

Scorpius shrugged. "I think a small one is okay."

His father wrapped his arms around him tightly and Tornado meowed in protest. "Shut up, stupid cat."

When he leaned back, his eyes were shining with tears and Scorpius looked away, embarrassed, "You don't have to cry, Father. You're going to see me in a few months."

"I'll cry if I want to," his father retorted. "Anyway, don't forget what we talked about. During the sorting-"

"Think Slytherin thoughts," Scorpius finished for him, smirking.

"Good boy." He straightened and Scorpius saw him wiping his eyes with his sleeve. He wished his father would tell him more about the sorting, but it seemed to be a tradition for everyone to keep first years in the dark about what getting sorted into a Hogwarts house entailed.

James claimed they had to perform magic in front of a panel of judges, though Scorpius and Albus knew better than to listen to anything he said. Teddy was the only person who had given them any useful information.

He'd said the sorting wasn't painful, didn't involve them having to use magic, and was done in alphabetical order. This last part was the biggest relief to Scorpius. He would go before Albus and wouldn't have to beg whoever was in charge of the sorting to put him in the same house as his best friend.

Just then, Scorpius was attacked by a tall, lanky girl with long black hair, freckles, and hazel eyes. It was Nira Weasley, his second best friend after Albus. The three of them had grown up together and were mostly inseparable, but although Nira was born the same year as Scorpius, her birthday was after September, so she wouldn't be starting Hogwarts this year.

Albus and Scorpius found this very amusing because she always acted like the leader of their little trio and was constantly bossing them around. Now, they would be a year ahead of her in school. She'd been grumpy about it all summer.

She started a rant about how it wasn't fair Scorpius and Albus got to go to Hogwarts without her and demanded he write her at least one 12-inch long letter, per week. Scorpius rolled his eyes and saw his father greeting Uncle Ron and Aunt Parvati.

"Harry and Ginny were right behind us on the platform," Uncle Ron was telling his father. Scorpius perked up and turned to look at the entrance, then let out a big sigh of relief when he saw Albus pushing a cart with his trunk and owl cage on it.

Scorpius had been with Albus for every big moment in his life. The first time he'd walked and talked (though he didn't remember those). The first time he'd ridden a broom, the first time he'd broken his arm after falling off a broom, and then the first time he'd been to St. Mungo's.

Albus had been with him the first time he'd gone to a professional Quidditch match, his first day of primary school, and the first time he'd kissed a witch, although that was just Nira, on a dare from James, so Scorpius wasn't sure if that really counted.

They'd even had their first bursts of accidental magic within days of each other. Scorpius couldn't imagine starting Hogwarts without Albus at his side.

When the Potters joined their group, James gave all the adults a quick hug before grabbing his trunk and running to board the train. Nira took the opportunity to scold Albus just as she'd scolded Scorpius and Albus shot Scorpius an exasperated look.

Lily started grumbling to Rose. Both of them had a few years before they would be starting Hogwarts. Scorpius knew Rose was excited to be the only child for awhile, but Lily didn't like peace and quiet as much as Rose and told Albus she was counting down the days to when she would be able to go to Hogwarts, too.

"Where's Hermione?" Uncle Ron asked. "As you're here, I know she can't be late for the usual reason." Scorpius's father smirked at this. The fact that his parents were always late was a running joke among the adults that Scorpius didn't understand.

As if summoned by Uncle Ron's question, his mum appeared at their side with Theo. She went straight for his father and gave him a long kiss. Scorpius rolled his eyes. Why couldn't they refrain from snogging in front of all his future classmates? He knew Uncle Blaise had asked them to stop doing this during the election. He said it wasn't great for his mum's image, for some reason, but his father had told Uncle Blaise to sod off and that if he was as good a campaign manager as he claimed, he'd find a way for Kingsley and his mum to win, despite the kissing.

His mum turned to him, "Sorry I'm late, Scorpius, but it looks like I got here just in time." She crouched next to him and rubbed Tornado under the chin. "You're going to do great. Do you feel ready?"

Scorpius looked to Albus who was talking to Uncle Harry. "I'm ready."

She pulled him in for a hug. "Owl tomorrow and tell us how your first night went. And don't listen to your father, he'll love you even if you don't get into Slytherin."

"No I won't," his father chimed in behind her, but Scorpius knew he was teasing.

Theo came to wish him luck once his mum left him to talk to Albus. "I'm supposed to tell you, I think you'd be a good dad," Scorpius said with a wicked smirk. Bennett had asked Scorpius to say this, the next time he saw Theo, but he would have said it otherwise, since he really did think it was true.

Theo rolled his eyes, then let out a small laugh. "Bennett put you up to this, didn't he? Merlin, your family is so meddlesome."

Scorpius shrugged. He knew Bennett and Theo were talking about having a baby, and hoped it worked out okay for them, since they were excellent uncles and would make really good dads. But he didn't really understand how gay people got kids. It didn't fit in with the sex talk his father had made him suffer through last week. All Scorpius knew was that it took a lot of money for gay couples to have kids, but that was okay, because Theo was very rich. He had a giant house, just like Scorpius's grandparents.

About a month ago, Scorpius had asked his father if they were rich, figuring the money his grandparents had would probably pass to his father one day. His father had asked Scorpius how much money he had and when Scorpius responded with the sum of his entire life's savings - twenty galleons - his father sighed and shook his head. "Sorry, Scorpius. I hate to break it to you, but twenty galleons does not make you rich."

"That's not what I meant," Scorpius had pointed out. "I know _I'm_ not rich. I'm wondering if you are."

His father had nodded seriously, then paused, as if he was considering something. Eventually he just said, "It doesn't really matter. We have enough money to get by. Don't worry about it."

Scorpius could tell when his father wasn't going to say more and had dropped the subject. Scorpius looked over at his father now and saw him talking to Lily, who was still pouting.

"Your mum and I are taking you girls for ice cream after this," he said cheerfully. "You can come too, Nira, if you want."

"It must be nice to be able to go for ice cream in the middle of the day," Uncle Ron said teasingly. "The rest of us, with real jobs, have to go back to work."

Aunt Ginny muttered something and Uncle Ron looked affronted. This was another joke among the adults, that his father and Aunt Ginny didn't have real jobs. In Scorpius's opinion, Aunt Ginny had the coolest job. She was a Quidditch reporter and got to go to Quidditch try-outs and matches and call it work. She brought James, Scorpius, and Albus whenever she could, but Albus couldn't care less about Quidditch and only went because Scorpius was there.

Scorpius's father's job, on the other hand, was very boring. When Scorpius first asked what he did when he was young, his father said he "moved money around." For the longest time, Scorpius thought he worked for the goblins at Gringotts, moving gold around to different vaults. When his father finally explained what he really did, it sounded incredibly confusing and boring and Scorpius hoped he wouldn't want him to follow in his footsteps one day.

Scorpius and Albus said their final goodbyes before boarding the train. A lot of whispers followed them as they walked through the train, looking for an empty compartment. Scorpius did his best to ignore them. It could be for a number of reasons.

His mum was famous, since she was the deputy Minister for Magic. Albus's dad was also a very famous Auror. When he heard the word, "Death Eater," he paused in the aisle and clutched Tornado close.

His heart dropped and he felt sick. After the sex talk, which Scorpius had thought was bad enough, his father told him something even worse.

He'd told Scorpius that there had been a big war, before Scorpius was born, between an evil wizard who wanted to rid the world of Muggleborns and the good wizards who wanted everyone to be equal. Scorpius had known that part, but what his father admitted next was a shock. He said he'd been on the side of the evil wizard and even showed Scorpius the mark on his arm that all the followers of the evil wizard, who were called Death Eaters, were branded with.

Scorpius had asked about his mum, since she was a Muggleborn, but his father reassured him she not only had fought on the good side, but had been a big reason why they'd won. Scorpius had cried and his father had nearly cried too, but explained that it was something he wanted to be sure Scorpius heard from him, and not some random kids at school. He explained that the Malfoys were well-known dark wizards, but that he hoped Scorpius would be the first one to never dabble in the dark arts.

Scorpius hadn't had the courage to ask what he'd wanted, which was why his mum had bothered with someone who was a Death Eater and fought on the side of a dark wizard who wanted her dead. His parents had always been vague about how they got together. They said they worked on a research project on time travel together and that they'd tell Scorpius the whole story when he was older, when he could really appreciate it (whatever that meant).

"Are you okay, Scor?" Albus asked, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Scorpius nodded and kept walking. He hadn't told Albus everything his father had admitted to him yet. They had a long train ride ahead of them, though, and he knew after he was able to confide in his friend, he'd feel much better.

* * *

** Albus Potter **

Albus fingered his green scarf as he watched the two owls fly away from the Owlery. The white one was Hermes, who he shared with James and the brown one was one of the school owls Albus had used to send Scorpius's letter.

Albus wondered how his dad would react when he found out he was in Slytherin. He said he didn't mind, but he was also extremely attached to his house and Albus hadn't forgotten how proud his dad had been when he'd heard James was a Gryffindor.

The night before, the sorting hat had wanted to put Albus into Gryffindor too. It said he had the heart for it and was more loyal than anyone he'd ever seen, but Albus begged it to put him in Slytherin, with Scorpius. The hat had considered it for a long time and Albus wondered if the professor was going to come take it off and tell him to go back home.

"You'll probably do okay there, but you don't have very many Slytherin qualities," the sorting hat had said matter-of-factly. "You're not very cunning or especially ambitious. You may not fit in with your housemates if I put you there."

"Please," Albus had begged. "My best friend is there, and I can't be in a different house. He's cunning enough for the both of us. And I'm ambitious, sort of. I mean, I'll do my best."

"Fine, if it's what you really want...SLYTHERIN!"

Albus stopped when he got to the doorway of the Great Hall and saw Hugo, Nira's older brother, and Scorpius making a swap at the Slytherin table. Scorpius handed Hugo a large box, which had just arrived via owl post and which Albus and Hugo both knew would be packed with sweets from Scorpius's grandmother. Hugo gave Scorpius something smaller which he quickly hid in his robes.

Albus waved to Scorpius once Hugo left the table and Scorpius caught his eye and gave him a thumbs up sign. In a few moments, he'd joined Albus in the Entrance Hall. "He got it?" Albus asked.

Scorpius nodded and opened his robes to show off an old, blank parchment. The two boys ran back to the dungeons and climbed onto Scorpius's bed, pulling the curtains closed around them.

They laid the parchment out on the bed and Scorpius tapped it with his wand before saying, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

A map of Hogwarts appeared, followed by tiny dots with labels, showing who they were meant to represent. "Wicked, it's just like my mum said," Scorpius whispered. He'd told Albus on the train that when he'd admitted to his mum that he was nervous about school, particularly about finding all his classes in such a large castle, she'd grinned and told him about a map he could use to make his first months a little easier.

She'd said it would be a blank piece of parchment, probably at the bottom of James's trunk and had told Scorpius how to use it, once he found it.

When Scorpius asked his mum how she knew it would be there, she said Albus's dad had told her it had gone missing from his desk and they both knew who the most likely thief was.

Then, when Scorpius had asked how he was supposed to get at it, especially if he didn't end up in Gryffindor, he said his mum had smirked and told him she couldn't do _everything_ for him. Albus and Scorpius had planned the rest of it out on the train ride. They'd use Hugo to get the parchment.

They didn't tell Hugo what it was (of course) and in return, Scorpius promised to give Hugo every package he received from his grandmother for the rest of the term. Everyone in the family knew Scorpius's grandmother spoiled him rotten.

They knew James would figure it out eventually, but he wouldn't think of Albus and Scorpius, since they couldn't get into his dormitory, and he probably wouldn't think to suspect Hugo for several months. James always underestimated the younger kids in the family.

"Your mum is so cool," Albus said as he watched the _Neville Longbottom_ dot walk around the greenhouses. "I always assumed she'd be a stickler for the rules."

"My father says she breaks the ones that are convenient for her," Scorpius said with a proud smirk.

"Lucky for us," Albus responded. "What do you want to do with it, first?"

"Find our first class," Scorpius responded seriously. He pulled his timetable out of his robes, then looked back at the map. "We have Defense Against the Dark Arts in ten minutes."

"You're such a swot, Scorpius," Albus pushed him, playfully.

"We'll see how your tune changes when you're trying to get me to do your assignments in a few days," Scorpius retorted.

Albus shrugged, "This is going to be a good year, isn't it Scor?"

Scorpius looked up at him and smiled. "The best."

* * *

** Draco Malfoy **

"It's here!" Draco exclaimed, when he saw a brown owl pecking on the glass of the window. He opened the window and grabbed the letter from its beak. The owl flew away promptly. It must be a Hogwarts owl. Those were well trained and never stuck around for treats.

Hermione jumped up from her spot at the table and was at his side. "We should read it together," she said, reaching for the letter.

"I'll read it, and tell you the good parts," Draco responded, holding it open above her head.

He saw Rose roll her eyes from the table, before going back to her book. That one was a lost cause. She would likely be in Gryffindor, maybe even Ravenclaw, but Scorpius had a chance of being in his house.

Draco scanned the letter quickly then yelled out, "Slytherin!" when he got to the line about the sorting ceremony. He lowered the letter now so Hermione could read it too.

"No!" she cried, taking the letter from him.

"I thought you didn't care either way, Mum," Rose said from the table.

"Well, I lied," Hermione grumbled.

"And Albus too," Draco noticed, reading the letter over her shoulder. "Perfect, I'll stop by Grimmauld Place right now and catch Potter before he goes to work."

He ran to the fireplace and was about to throw the Floo powder in, but turned back when he realized he'd forgotten something. He went to the kitchen and pulled Hermione in for a kiss. "I love you. Good luck with the interview today. I can't wait to hear about it over lunch."

She smiled, then went back to reading Scorpius's letter.

"And tough break with Scorpius," Draco added with a grin. "You'll get the next one," he cocked his head toward Rose.

Their daughter was a mini-Hermione. Scorpius was more of a mix. He looked like Draco, and had the cunning and ambition of a Slytherin, but he also had Hermione's giant heart and unwavering loyalty. Draco could have seen Scorpius ending up in either of their houses.

"Without a doubt," Hermione responded. "You know, if Albus had been sorted first, it may have gone the other way."

"Well, lucky for us, he wasn't," Draco smiled, before going back to the fireplace.

He grabbed a pile of Floo powder but paused when he saw the large scar on his hand. It was from the injury he'd gotten that day over eleven years ago at the parlor in Malfoy Manor. The healers offered to remove the scar, but he'd told them to keep it. He liked the reminder that he had almost missed all of this. And as awful as those few months had been, when he'd thought he was going to die, he was grateful for them now. He learned how to live like he was dying, which was the best way to go through life.

Draco threw the powder into the fire. "Grimmauld Place," he said with a smirk, as he imagined Harry's reaction, before stepping into the green flames.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The End! I poured my soul into this story. I really hope you all liked it. I know it was a "dragon ride" of emotions, but thank you all for sticking with it and supporting me along the way. I started writing fanfic in the middle of COVID and it has been such a fun, rewarding hobby that I'll carry with me into post-COVID times, if that ever happens.
> 
> Huge shout-out to my beta readers Lancashire Witch and Kimmeh B who worked A LOT on this story. They both responded super fast every time I sent a new chapter over and worked for hours on each draft to get everything sounding just right. I really appreciate their dedication to making this story better.
> 
> A lot of you have said you plan to reread the story again. If you notice any continuity errors, please let me know as I really want to fix them for future readers.
> 
> I love the Dramione fandom and Draco and Hermione are my favorite Harry Potter pairing, but sadly I have run out of ideas for these two. So I'm going to leave the Dramione fandom for a bit to work on some other HP stories. I know a ton of you only read Dramione so I'll miss you while I'm gone. You all have been so supportive and welcoming to me as a new writer. Hopefully as soon as new inspiration hits I'll be back with something new for this couple. Also - I can't read Dramione while I'm writing it - so I'm so excited to have this break to catchup on some stories I've been meaning to read for awhile. I'll probably still post Dramione drabbles on Tumblr every so often, as they come to me.
> 
> If you want to join me for my next story (When it Breaks) the first chapter has already been posted. It'll be a short Scorpius / Albus story that picks up right where this Epilogue leaves off. I originally didn't intend to write an Epilogue for this story, but then I couldn't leave it at 49 chapters. So I got this idea to write a short little chapter from the kids' perspective. As I was writing, this entire Scorbus story flooded into my mind. So that's what I'm writing next. It will only be told from Scorpius and Albus' POV, but we'll still get to see the Timeless characters on the side, as parents, so that will be fun.
> 
> After that story, I have plans to write another giant story with lots of plot twists, but I still need to work out the details. It will be an AU where Voldemort is still at large and Draco and Hermione will be major characters, but won't be paired together. More to come on that as the story continues to develop in my mind. If you're interested in beta-ing for any of my future stories (keeping in mind they may not be Dramione), please send me a note on Tumblr at Alexandra-Emerson. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!


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